ai-podcast/website/transcripts/episode-15-fake-fat-tuesday-trivia-and-life-changing-calls.txt

LUKE: All right, welcome back to the show. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. This is the call-in radio show where you can call in, and I'll give you the best advice I possibly can. It's a little bit late today. I had to take a little nap and then push the show back. So today is actually February the 18th, but we're going to pretend. We're going to pretend that it's February the 17th. Why are we going to pretend that? As you may know is Fat Tuesday. That's Fat Tuesday. It's Mardi Gras time, folks, out here in New Mexico. So for today's show, I've got some New Orleans trivia for our callers. That's going to be fun. If you'd like to call in, the number is 208-439-583. That's 208-439 Luke. Or you can also send us an email there to submissions at Luke at theroost.com. So with all that being said, I think it's time to get to our show. Our phones are lit up like they are around this time. And first up, we have Rodney. Rodney, welcome to the show. How are you? Happy Fat Tuesday.

RODNEY: Fat Tuesday was yesterday, Luke.

LUKE: I know. I appreciate the sentiment.

RODNEY: So listen. I'm sitting in my truck outside a closed Chinese restaurant in Lordsburg, New Mexico at midnight. And I just cracked open a fortune cookie that says it's too late. That's it. That's the whole fortune. And I cannot decide if the universe is talking to me, or if I'm just losing my mind in a parking lot.

LUKE: Sounds to me, sir, like you're just losing your mind in a parking lot, because it's never too late for anything. You can be anything you want to be. Wake up in the morning, it's a whole new day, you're a whole new you, and there's nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it. That's what I always say. But we're pretending. We're pretending that it's still fat Tuesday, sir. So go with me. that it is still February 17th, Fat Tuesday. And I've got some trivia for you. Are you ready for that?

RODNEY: Oh, I can do trivia. Hit me. I got nowhere to be. The restaurant's closed. My truck's running. And apparently the universe already gave up on me. So, let's do some trivia.

LUKE: All right, here we go. Why are New Orleans cemeteries called Cities of the Dead?

RODNEY: Oh man. Is it because they bury people above ground down there? Because the water table's so high you'd just be floating your loved ones away if you put them in the ground.

LUKE: That is correct, sir. I've actually been there. It's really weird. They're all in like tombs above ground. It's a pretty freaky situation. Have you ever been to New Orleans, sir?

RODNEY: I have not. Closest I've gotten is Beaumont. Texas, which is, I mean it's humid and it smells weird, but I don't think it counts. New Orleans solar list, though, always has been. Although at the rate I'm going, sitting in parking lots reading ominous fortune cookies, maybe I should just stay in the desert where things make sense.

LUKE: Yeah, maybe you should. That's what I'm doing. Things do make sense here in the desert, and we bury people under the ground here, which is, which makes sense to me, I guess. So, you're sitting in the parking lot, you got your bad fortune cookie, and you're afraid it's too late. What do you think it might be too late for?

RODNEY: My ex-wife texted me three days ago. First time in two years. Just asked if we could talk. And I haven't answered her. And then I crack open that cookie, and it says, it's too late. And I just, I don't know, man. I've been sitting here for 40 minutes now, trying to figure out out if that's the universe telling me I already blew it by waiting three days, or if it's telling me something bigger.

LUKE: I don't think it's I honestly don't think it's telling you anything. I think you just got a fortune cookie at a shut down Chinese restaurant in Lourdesburg, New Mexico, and you can never trust the Chinese restaurant in the desert. So I think I wouldn't put too much stock into what the universe is trying to tell you with your fortune. Instead, I might, if you want to talk to your ex-wife, call her. And if you don't want to talk to her, don't call her. It's that simple.

RODNEY: See, that's what I'm hoping, Luke. That's exactly what I'm hoping. Because I'm supposed to head back to the rig tomorrow morning, and I got to know if I'm just losing it out here. Last year, I killed a rattlesnake in my kitchen with a shovel at three in the morning.

LUKE: Jesus.

RODNEY: Didn't flinch, didn't think twice. This little strip of paper has me calling a radio show. ridiculous.

LUKE: Well, you know what I always say. This radio show is like killing a rattlesnake with a shovel.

RODNEY: Ha, I mean you're not wrong. You just, you just pick up the phone and you do it. You don't think about it too hard.

LUKE: That's right, sir, and that's my advice for you. So if you'd like to talk to the wife, you want to get back, do you want to get back with her? Is that what's going on? Do you miss the X?

RODNEY: Yeah, yeah, I do. I'm not going to sit here in a parking lot at midnight and lie to you about it. I miss her, but here's the thing. She left.

LUKE: Well, she's obviously got something to say to you because she's reaching out. So if you miss her and you want to talk to her and you don't hate her guts, then give her a call and work it out.

RODNEY: I know. I know you're right. And it's not it's not that I hate her. I don't hate her at all. It's that I don't know what she to say.

LUKE: Well, you're never going to know until you make the call, so let's get to that.

RODNEY: You're right. That's, yeah, that's just the truth right there. I've been sitting in this truck for 40 minutes working up to calling a radio show instead of just calling Denise. And that probably tells you everything you need to know about me.

LUKE: That's correct. It does. And we wish you the best of luck, sir. Enjoy your fortune cookie. And good luck with the X. Estelle. Stell, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. Happy Fat Tuesday. I know it's not really Fat Tuesday, but we're pretending because I feel asleep. And, you know, I'm a person too. Very, very busy man. Are you ready to play Fat Tuesday trivia?

ESTELLE: Ha. Okay. I did not call in for trivia, but I'll take it. Hit me.

LUKE: Louisiana is the only state that doesn't have counties. What does Louisiana have instead?

ESTELLE: Perishes? That one I actually know. I'm a social worker, so yeah.

LUKE: Very good. That's the correct answer. And what are you calling in for tonight, Estelle?

ESTELLE: Okay, so I came inside at two in the morning and realized I have not had a real conversation about my own life with another human being, and I don't even know how long.

LUKE: Okay, so what is it that you'd like to say to another human being?

ESTELLE: I don't even know where to start. I mean, I know, but it's embarrassing. So here's the headline. I've been having more meaningful conversations with an 87-year-old woman in Hachita about her late husband's dentures than I have with anyone about my own life in, what, six months?

LUKE: Well, you know what, that conversation with that 87-year-old woman about those dentures, that is your life. That's your life, too. So you are having conversations about your life. What is it that's on your mind?

ESTELLE: Okay, yeah, fair. That's, yeah. What's on my mind is that I came inside to, and there was a frozen lasagna on the table that I have microwaved every single Wednesday for six months. And the chair was pulled out at the exact same angle it always is. And I just stood there and thought, did I choose this? Or did it just kind of happen to me?

LUKE: Well, the answer is you chose it because you choose everything. So nothing just happens. If you have lulled yourself into a state of complacency with your life, then change it. But it's something that you did.

ESTELLE: Oh, come on. That's a lot. That's not. Okay, no. I hear you. But it's not that simple. It is. I, my job. I like the quiet. I like the stars. But then I'm out there in the dark with my telescope, and I'm talking to myself about Andromeda, like some kind of, like some kind of desert hermit. And I don't even know if I'm lonely or if I just got used to the silence.

LUKE: So what's the problem? Why is that a problem? Are you enjoying yourself out under the stars looking through your telescope and Andromeda? Because that's what I do. And I am a desert hermit, and that's perfectly okay. If you're comfortable with that, great. If you're not comfortable with that, though, then it's time to make a change in your life and join a group or do something other than sit by yourself. And there's lots of ways to do that. There's plenty of opportunities. You just have to make a decision and put forth the effort to have the life that you want. But all of it is you. You control 100%. Okay.

ESTELLE: But no, I control it. that's not the point. The point is, I don't even what I want anymore. Like, I, the quiet. I like the routine.

LUKE: It sounds like you've been hitting the bottle, lady. What's your consumption level these days?

ESTELLE: Ha, no, I wish. Honestly, no, I'm stone cold sober standing in my kitchen at two in the morning staring at a lasagna. Which is maybe worse? Like, at least if I'd been drinking, there'd be a reason I couldn't answer a basic question about my own life.

LUKE: Well, you're not making complete sentences. You're not making any sense and you're meandering about nothing. You call the radio show you have no point to make. I'm not really sure why you're here. So, do you have something you'd like to talk about or should we move on to the next caller?

ESTELLE: Okay. Okay, here it is. I think I'm scared that I'm building a life that looks exactly like what I want on paper. The job, the solitude, the telescope, the desert. And it's going to be going to be eating that lasagna alone on a Wednesday.

LUKE: That's enough of you. Eat your lasagna. Stop whining. If you want to change your life, change your life. But you're a boring caller, and we don't need boring callers. Next time you call in, have something interesting to say. That's what I have to say. And next up, we have Leon. Leon, do not be a boring caller, please. Do your best to be an interesting and have something to say. Today is not Fat Tuesday, but we're pretending it is because I fell asleep on Fat Tuesday. And I've got some trivia for you. Are you ready for my New Orleans trivia?

LEON: Ha! Luke! Man, it is good to be back. Okay, but hold on. Before you hit me with trivia, I got to tell you something first.

LUKE: All right, hit me with some funny shit.

LEON: So I quit the boot camp.

LUKE: All right. The boot camp was for coding? Is that what that was about?

LEON: Yeah, the coding, Python, all of it. I'm not going to lie, I lasted about six weeks, and I spent probably five of them watching poker strategy videos instead of writing code. You and I talked about that, actually. Last time, you said something that kind of stuck with me. You basically told me that at 56, poker is just as legitimate as anything else I could be chasing.

LUKE: Sure thing. So are you chasing the poker now?

LEON: I entered a tournament. Last Saturday, down in Albuquerque.

LUKE: Wow, that's fantastic. Entering a tournament, though, anybody can enter a tournament at any time. What is your strategy for moving forward with your poker career? Tell us about your bankroll management.

LEON: Okay, so, I'm not going to lie. I did not expect you to know the word bankroll, Luke.

LUKE: Oh, I deserve that. That's impressive. Okay, so here's the thing.

LEON: I don't have a poker career yet. I want to be real clear about that, but I did cash.

LUKE: What was your tournament? What were the stakes and what did you cash?

LEON: It was a $65 buy-in at one of the card rooms down there. Nothing crazy. And I cashed for $180. So, I mean, it's not like I'm retiring from towing. But I'm not going to lie, I sat at that table for like four hours, and I felt more alive than I had in a long time. It's like I knew what I was doing.

LUKE: Yeah, well, I think you're going to find that a poker room, wherever you are in New Mexico, is a very different experience than if you were going to play with professionals in Vegas or anywhere else there were professionals. 180? That's a nice little win. But anybody can win once in a while. We call that beginner's luck. You're going to need a poker strategy. How much money do you have for your bankroll? Like, how much can you afford to lose before you're working off your own money?

LEON: No, you're absolutely right. And I know that. I'm not delusional about it. But here's the thing. The guys I beat on Saturday, some of them weren't chumps either.

LUKE: Okay, well, and that's great. Congratulations. But I'm trying to push you in the right direction here, sir, and you're not going with me. What stakes are you playing with at? Like, what's your game?

LEON: Okay, okay, fair. I hear you. Right now, I'm playing micro-stakes online, like $2, $5 stuff, and I've been studying, I'm not going to lie, way harder than I ever studied Python.

LUKE: Okay, and what are you studying? Are you studying the old Doyle Bronson books? Are you studying GTO? What is your strategy for learning and improving and being a professional poker player? If you're not going to... When I gave you that advice, when I told you it's not too late to start anything, I meant to start something. So just going to play poker at a card room on a Thursday is not starting something.

LEON: Yeah, yeah, okay, that's fair. That stings a little, but that's fair.

LUKE: Well, congratulations on your journey here. I hope it goes well for you, and you already got a win under your belt, and that's nice. But it's going to be a long road, a lot of grinding. And if you want to be successful at poker, you're going to have to have a plan. And it sounds like you don't. So I recommend buckling down and seeing how the pros do it and follow a strategy.

LEON: I hear you, Luke. I do. And I'm not going to lie. I've been thinking about this a lot since last time we talked. I've been watching some of those poker training videos, the ones where they break down hands and talk about ranges and all that. It's a lot.

LUKE: Yeah, it's a lot, and it sounds like you don't quite understand it. So before you get into a position where your life is on the line on a poker game, I recommend getting these basic fundamental, at least a poker words, you know, the language, get this under your belt.

LEON: No. You're right. You're right. And honestly, I'm not going to lie. I called tonight thinking you were going to be a little more excited for me about the $180, and I was going to feel good about myself and go to bed. And instead, you're kind of doing what my daughter does, which is just cut right through it.

LUKE: Well, you can still feel good about yourself. You want money in a poker game, and that's pretty cool. But we're talking about your life and career going forward, and $180 in a poker game isn't going to pay your mortgage.

LEON: No! No, it's not. And Amber would, she would have something to say about that if I suggested otherwise. So here's the thing. Here's why I actually called tonight. I dropped the boot camp.

LUKE: Yeah, you told me that. You dropped the boot camp because you're going to follow your poker dream.

LEON: No, no. I dropped it because I got into UNM. Full ride. They saw my work history. They saw my age. They saw that I was serious.

LUKE: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I was under the impression that you dropped the boot camp to become a poker professional. But if you're just doing this as a hobby for fun and you want $180, congratulations, you can feel good about yourself and go to bed. But also, congratulations for your entry into UN&M. What is it for? A full ride for what?

LEON: Computer science. Full ride. And I'm not going to lie, Luke. I'm scared shitless. I got the letter today, and I just sat in my truck in the parking lot at work and work and read it three times. And then I called Amber, and she just started crying. And I don't know if it was happy crying or terrified crying, but I think it was both.

LUKE: Either way, it will be an adventure, and you've got yourself a full ride to being unemployed. Congratulations. Are you ready for the trivia?

LEON: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

LUKE: All right. That was Leon. Leon's a tough one. He calls in sometimes and he just wants me to tell him everything's great. And everything's not great. Oh, good for you. You went to a poker room. You played a tournament and you got lucky. That doesn't mean you're good at poker. That means you bet 40 bucks and won. Okay, next. Heather, Heather, welcome to the show. What's going on, Heather? Thanks for calling in. Happy fake Fat Tuesday. Today is the Fat Tuesday for people that fell asleep during Fat Tuesday. I've got some trivia for you. Are you ready for your question?

HEATHER: Oh, I'll do the trivia, sure, but okay, I have to say something first because I've been sitting here for like 40 minutes waiting to get on, and I will absolutely lose my mind if I don't say it. I just told my mom no. Like, to her face. Well, on the phone. But I said no to my mom tonight, and I feel like I committed an actual crime.

LUKE: What did you say no about?

HEATHER: She called me three hours ago asking if I could loan her $400 for a furnace repair. And I said no. I said the actual word no to my mother, who is cold, Luke. She's cold right now, potentially. And I'm sitting here in the dark at work feeling like the worst person in New Mexico.

LUKE: Well, why did you say no, over 400 bucks, if your mother is freezing in New Mexico?

HEATHER: Because I am 17 thousand dollars in debt and I literally do not have four hundred dollars. Like, that's not a figure of speech. I have maybe 80 bucks until Friday.

LUKE: Okay, well then you can't give her the money. No big deal. You've got to say no. If you don't have the money to give her, you can't say yes. That would be strange. And then, you know, when she comes to get the money, you don't have it.

HEATHER: Oh, that'd be even worse.

LUKE: Yeah, I bet you would feel like a silly goose. So it sounds to me like you did the right thing.

HEATHER: No, I know, I know you're right. Logically, I know that. But like, Okay, here's the thing. My mom is not great at taking care of herself. Like, she's getting older and she's getting smaller, if that makes sense. And I'm watching that happen, and I can't, I just feel like saying no to her is the same as saying, I can't take care of you. And that feels really bad at 25.

LUKE: Well, you're 25. You don't have the money to support your parents financially. That's not strange. You can do what you can to take care of her. Do you have a warm place that she can go? Where do you live?

HEATHER: I mean, I'm at work right now. I do overnights at a group home, so yeah, I'm warm. She's over in, she's not that far. She's maybe 40 minutes away. And I'm sure she's fine. She probably has space heaters or whatever. I'm not saying she's actually freezing to death. I'm saying I feel like she might be, and I can't do anything about it even if she was.

LUKE: Well, that's a shitty place to be, but if that's where you're at, that's where you're at. You're going to have to continue working on your own life first. Make sure you can get it on your feet before you can support anybody else, even your parents. If there's something you can do to help, then great. If you can help her maybe get funding from different sources or look for, I don't know, churches that can help or, you know, get her tied into the community and any sort of health care benefits that she's eligible for, you can help her in that way. But if you don't have the money yourself, then you don't have the money for her and that's, you don't have to feel bad about that. Just do your best.

HEATHER: Yeah. Yeah, no, that's... Okay, the church thing actually isn't a bad idea, and I don't know why I didn't think of that. There's probably resources. I think I've just been so in my own head about it that I went straight to I failed her. Instead of like, okay, what else can we do?

LUKE: Yeah, I think a lot of people do that. And the thing is, it's not about you. That's a very common thing. Everybody makes everything about themselves. And this isn't about you. If you can help, then help. And there's lots of different resources out there that are available. You just got to track them down. If you're good at searching on the computer and stuff, then you have a better chance to find them than she does. But ask around, you work at a group home, so I'm sure that you're familiar with a big list of resources for housing and heating and phone assistance and utilities, all that jazz. So you can get her as settled as you can and do the best you can and don't feel bad when you can't take care of her, because the truth is it was her responsibility to take care of herself.

HEATHER: That last part hit different. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. No, honestly, it's true. And I think that's the part I've been avoiding saying out loud because it feels mean. But like, she's a grown woman and I'm her kid. And somewhere along the way that got flipped around, and I've just been accepting that as normal.

LUKE: Well, it's not as black and white as that. So I don't know your situation. I don't know your mother. I don't know if she has mental health issues or physical ailments or what the history is there. All I know is you're 25 years old. You're getting on your feet and you can't hold yourself responsible for the well-being of a grown adult that had 60 years to get themselves on the correct financial footing. So now that we're through that, you can feel all right. It's time for trivia. Are you ready for the trivia?

HEATHER: Wait, trivia? Okay. Yeah. I'm, yeah, hit me. I've been sitting in the dark for three hours. I might as well win something.

LUKE: Okay, well, you're not going to win anything, but we just want to hear your answer. So, a Sicilian immigrant invented a famous New Orleans sandwich in 1906 at the Central Grocery. What is it called?

HEATHER: Oh, that's easy. The muffilletta. My grandpa used to get them from this little place over in, well, it's not there anymore, but back in the day. He'd bring one home and it'd feed us for three days.

LUKE: All right. All right. Well, thank you for the call. Do your best with your mom. Try and help her out if you can. Don't take too much responsibility. And make sure that you're putting your own oxygen mask on first. That was the correct answer. I've never had a muffletta. I don't know where a muffletta is, but it sounds gross. Anyway, it's about time for a word from our sponsors. All right, folks. It's time to take a break to thank today's sponsor. The leader in Maple-based Marmalade. If your toast has been living in a bland little studio apartment of flavor, it's time to move into the luxury suite.

LUKE: We're talking maple-based marmalade. Plus, marmalade-related products, because apparently Jam Hospitality asked, what if breakfast had a brand ecosystem? Go to www.myfavoritmarmalade.com and use code jam it in you for 15% off. That's Jam it in you, like jam it in you, but legally distinct and emotionally complex. Jam hospitality. Put it on toast. Put it on pancakes. Put it on your confidence. That's www. my favorite marmalade.com. Tell him Luke sent you. You're welcome. All right, and we're back. Archie. Archie, welcome to the show. How are you? Happy Fake Fat Tuesday.

ARCHIE: Oh, man, Luke. I'm about three cups of coffee and a half pack of camels past happy. But hey, Fake Fat Tuesday. Does that mean I could eat a king cake and still call it a salad? Yep. Because I could use the sugar rush right now. So here's the thing. I just found out my landscaping companies getting shut down in nine days. And they made me sign a non-disclosure agreement they told me. Like, here's your pink stuff. slip, here's a pen. Don't tell the guys you've been working with for three years that we're ghosting them. And tomorrow morning, I'm supposed to bid a residential job with Tommy and Jesse, guys who've got families, who think they've got work through March.

LUKE: Okay, so just to get it right, you signed a non-disclosure agreement, an NDA, as we like to call it in the business, to not mention anything about the landscaping company being closed because I guess you're getting paid off or something like that. They would have you sign an NDA. And the first thing you do is call a radio show and tell the world about the landscaping company. How does that work?

ARCHIE: Yeah. Okay. I hear you. I hear you. In my defense, I didn't use the company name. And also, it's like two in the morning and I'm sitting in a Jewel Oskow parking lot in Chicago. So I'm not exactly thinking like a lawyer right now. That's actually part of a. why I'm calling. I'm trying to figure out if I even need to worry about that NDA. Because I genuinely don't know if what they made me sign is even legal. Like, can a company actually make you sign something that says you can't warn your co-workers that they're about to get blindsided?

LUKE: Yes, they can. And you did sign it. So if I were you, I would keep my fucking mouth shut. But if you can't do that, it's unlikely that they would be able to be able to enforce anything on you. They're not going to sue you for telling Pablo that he doesn't have to go to work tomorrow.

ARCHIE: Right, right. And that's, okay, that actually makes me feel a little better. Because what are they going to do? Sue a guy who's about to be unemployed? Like, come after my 2009 F-150 in my collection of gas station sunglasses. Good luck. But here's the part that's actually keeping me up at night, Luke. It's not even the NDA.

LUKE: Okay, what is it?

ARCHIE: It's Tommy and Jesse. Because tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock, I'm supposed to sit across from these two guys at a diner and walk them through a bit on a residential project. Let them measure square footage and talk about mulch prices and act like they've got six weeks of work lined up. And I know the second they cut me loose, the company's going to ghost that contract. Like it just disappears. And these guys are going to be standing in some homeowner's driveway. wondering what happened.

LUKE: Well, for your meeting tomorrow, are Tommy and Jesse being compensated for their time?

ARCHIE: That's, ha. I mean, no. No, it's a bid. Nobody gets paid to bid a job. You show up. You measure. You talk numbers. You hope you get the work. So they're not losing money tomorrow exactly. They're just, they're losing time they could spend, lining something else up.

LUKE: you're sick tomorrow and that's how you handle it. You know?

ARCHIE: Oh, I thought about that. I really did. But here's the thing. Tommy's got a kid with asthma. And Jesse's wife just got laid off from the school district. They're counting on this. And if I don't show up, they're going to think I'm flaking on them. And then they'll be scrambling to find another crew to bid with. And that's just, that's another week of uncertainty for them. And I can't do that.

LUKE: Well, you can't do that. that. And it sounds to me like you don't really have to do anything here. It's not you closing down the company. And you promised the company in writing that you wouldn't tell anybody. So if you have any sort of pension or severance package on the line here, I think that's what you would risk by breaking the NDA.

ARCHIE: Yeah, no, you're right. And I know you're right. And I know you're right. There's no pension. I'm a landscaper, Luke. Not a longshoreman. But there is severance. And honestly, I think that's the only reason I signed the thing in the first place. Like they put the paper in front of me and I just, I signed it. Monday afternoon still had dirt under my fingernails. And I just signed it.

LUKE: Well, then you're in the position you're in. And you can't worry about everybody else. So I would, if I were you, I would start looking for a new employment opportunity.

ARCHIE: Yeah. Yeah, that's. I know. No. And I've been doing that. Or I've been telling myself I've been doing that. But mostly what I've been doing is driving around Juulosco parking lots at midnight. So, you know, productivity's been high.

LUKE: All right. Well, you know what you've got to do now. And now it's time for fake Fat Tuesday trivia. Are you ready?

ARCHIE: Oh, yeah. Sure. Hit me. I'm already in a parking lot at midnight. I got nowhere to be.

LUKE: New Orleans hosts the oldest continuously running gay Mardi Gras crew in the country. What's it called?

ARCHIE: Oh, man. I have absolutely no idea. The Beads and Boas?

LUKE: No, sir. It's actually called the Crew of Yuga, founded in 1958. How progressive. Thank you for the call, sir. I'm sorry to hear about your situation at work. If I were you. I would keep my mouth shut and honor the NDA and try to help, try and help out your friends as much as you can in some other way after they get the news. All right, we're moving on. Thank you again for the call. Misty, Misty, welcome to the show. How are you tonight?

MISTY: Not great, Luke. I came home from Tucson tonight, and my brother threw a party in my house while I was gone. destroyed the place.

LUKE: And destroyed how? How bad?

MISTY: Soaked carpet, cracked flat screen, boot-shaped hole in my bathroom drywall, and someone ripped the handle clean off my refrigerator. Like, the handle, off the refrigerator.

LUKE: Oh, that's not good. What is the carpet soaked in?

MISTY: You know what, Luke? I did not investigate that closely, and I am choosing not to think about it right now.

LUKE: Okay, and what's your brother have to say for himself?

MISTY: He woke up confused, like genuinely confused why I was upset, said it was just a few people, just a few people from animus, tore through my house, and he's looking at me like I'm the unreasonable one.

LUKE: Well, those animus people are pretty rowdy. I'll give him that. And it sounds like your house is trash pretty good, and he's going to have to have a better answer than that. So is he going to help you pay for the damages and the repairs?

MISTY: Oh, he, like, real generous. He said he'd help me out with some of it. But Travis's idea of helping out is showing up with a case of beer and a shop vac he borrowed from his buddy's uncle. He doesn't have a job, Luke. He's been between gigs since last summer, which in Travis speak means he's been living off my leftover takeout and whatever he can scam off his friends. And now he's got the nerve to act like I'm being dramatic.

LUKE: Well, it sounds to me like it might be time. to cut some ties with your brother. You know, let him, let him figure out his own thing and stop their own parties at your house. Because, uh, you shouldn't have to support a grown-ass man.

MISTY: No, and that's the thing. I know you're right, and I've known your right for a while now. But he's my brother, you know, like our mom passed three years ago, and it's kind of just been us since then.

LUKE: Well, just to help you out, because this is the kind of guy I am, I'm going to give you a shot at redemption, all right? I got an easy one for you. You ready?

MISTY: Okay, yes. Yes. Give it to me. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm focused.

LUKE: That's what she said. Okay, the song, House of the Rising Sun, is about a New Orleans establishment. What kind of place is it?

MISTY: A brothel.

LUKE: That is correct. Congratulations. Redemption. Hold on. We got to play the correct sound so you can get the full experience. All right. Nice job.

MISTY: Oh, thank God. Okay. Yes. I needed that. I was sitting here, sweating and my truck.

LUKE: All right, Misty. Thanks for the call. Sorry, your place got trashed. It's time to get your brother out of there and move on with your life. So that doesn't happen again. So I hope you can get it all cleaned up and investigate what the carpet is soaked with. Maybe replace that carpet. And now, folks, it's time for another word from our sponsors. This episode is brought to you by Nile Nosh. Meal kit for people who've given up but still need to eat something. Look, we're not going to promise that it'll change your life. You're still going to die alone. But at least you can spend your remaining Tuesday evenings chopping vegetables you can't pronounce. Each box contains three meals that take 45 minutes to make when they could have taken eight because suffering is the only authentic human experience. This week's menu, Horissa glazed despair with quinoa, panseered regret over arugula, and our customer favorite, chicken thighs with preserved lemon and unprocessed drama. Use code void at checkout for 15% off your first box. That's code void, because we're all just screaming into one. Nile Nosh. You got to eat something. Might as well be complicated. Okay. And we're back. Next up on the line, we've got Chenequah. Chenequah, thanks for calling. And happy fake fat Tuesday.

CHENEQUAH: Ha, happy fake fat Tuesday to you. You too, Luke. Okay, so I hit somebody's car last month and drove away. And now I see that car everywhere. And I think the universe is absolutely torturing me for it.

LUKE: As it should be. What are you going to do about that? You're just going to live with it?

CHENEQUAH: That's the thing. I don't know. Like I keep telling myself I'm going to do something. And then I just don't. And I'm a social worker, Luke. 33 years. I sit across people every single day and tell them the hard thing is always the right thing.

LUKE: Well, do you have insurance?

CHENEQUAH: I do. Yeah. Full coverage. Which actually makes this worse, right?

LUKE: Yeah, it does. So I don't know what you're calling in looking for me to tell you. Obviously, what you should do is talk to the owner of the vehicle that you hit and make it right. That's the right thing to do. That's what you should do. And not doing that is a crime. And it makes you a bad person.

CHENEQUAH: Oh, I know I'm a bad person, Luke. That's not the part I'm struggling with. I'm a bad person. I just... I want to do the right thing. Sorry, I fumbled that. I want to do it. I know exactly what I need to do it. I know exactly what I need to do. I just, every time I see that car, I kind of freeze up and then I drive past it, and then I hate myself for the next two hours.

LUKE: Do you know the owner of the car?

CHENEQUAH: No, that's the thing. I don't know who it is. I mean, I know it's a white Nissan with a crumpled bumper and a cracked tail light, but I don't know who owns it.

LUKE: Well, here's what I think you should do. I think you should take yourself down to the police station, explain what happens, say you panicked, and come clean about the situation in case maybe they're looking for someone. So you can save a lot of people a lot of time and then help the owner of that vehicle get it fixed through your insurance.

CHENEQUAH: Yeah. Yeah. I know you're right. And the thing is, and I know how this sounds, but I keep driving past that police station too. Like, I have driven past it.

LUKE: Okay. Well, what would you like me to tell you?

CHENEQUAH: I don't know, Luke. I don't know what I'm calling for. I just, I keep seeing that car. It's like it's me store and there it is. I'll be at the clinic where I work. And there it is.

LUKE: Well, it sounds like you've got a lot of opportunities to make things right. So it's about time you do that. Hey, we're doing trivia and I've got a trivia question for you. Are you ready? Since you clearly don't have anything else to talk about?

CHENEQUAH: Oh, God. Okay, yeah. Hit me. I deserve that.

LUKE: Okay. What New Orleans cocktail was invented at the Roosevelt Hotel Bar and is made with cream, orange flower water, and soda.

CHENEQUAH: Oh, that's easy. It's a Sazirac, right? Wait, no, that's not right. The Sazirac doesn't have cream or soda. Hmm. Wait, is it a Viochere? No, that's got cognac and vermouth.

LUKE: No, it is the Ramos gin fizz, and it requires 12 minutes of shaking. Bartenders used to form relay teams just to mix one of them. All right. Thank you for the call, Shaniqua. You're going to have to do the right thing or not do the right thing, one way or the other. But either way, you're a horrible person, and we appreciate your call. Okay, thank you, Shaniqua. Next up, we got Curtis. Curtis, welcome to the show. Happy fake fat Tuesday.

CURTIS: Hey, Luke. Thanks, man. So, my sister has been on dialysis for 18 months, and I just read that their 3D printing kidneys now, and nobody at her clinic has said a single word about it.

LUKE: Okay, maybe they don't have the ability to 3D print a kidney in your particular clinic.

CURTIS: This is nowhere in New Mexico. We don't really have the best medical equipment here. No, I hear you. But this wasn't in New Mexico. This was Baltimore. That's even worse. A woman in Baltimore got one. And I'm sitting here at the Flying J at two in the morning thinking, okay, so this exists. This is how to do you happening? Why does nobody at the dialysis clinic even mention it? Like is Denise supposed to just keep driving four hours round trip to Albuquerque three times a week forever? Or is there actually something out there?

LUKE: I think driving four hours round trip to Albuquerque three times a week forever is the business model, sir. So yes, that's exactly what they wanted to do. There may be something out there.

LUKE: Have you done any independent research into 3D printable kidneys? Maybe that's something that you can push for. or, you know, advocate for.

EARL: I wouldn't expect the medical industry to really ever push you in the right direction. That's not how they get paid.

LUKE: No, that's, yeah, that's a dark way to look at it, but I don't think you're wrong.

EARL: And honestly, that's kind of what's eating at me. Like I read this one article on my phone between customers tonight, and now I don't know if I'm holding on to something real or if I just found the one hopeful thing on the internet at three in the morning and I'm running with it. Because I won't. want to. You know what I mean? Like, is this actually close or is this a checkback in 2035 inches situation?

LUKE: I think it is close from similar articles that I've read about hearts and replacement shoulders. And I think it's very close. And the truth is 2035 is very close. So I don't know that it's going to be this year or next year. Maybe they're already doing it. I don't know. You might have to go to L.A. or something. Or, um, Boston or somewhere where, you know, they actually study medicine, not Baltimore.

EARL: Right, right. And that's the thing. Denise is in Arizona. She moved out there a few years back, and I'm over here in New Mexico, and she's got this clinic situation locked in, and I don't even know if she's on a transplant list. I don't know if she's looked into any of this. And now I'm the guy working the graveyard shift at a truck stop who read one article and is calling a radio show at three in the morning like I cracked the code. But somebody's got to be. paying attention, right?

LUKE: No. It's everybody's responsibility to pay attention when things relate to themselves. Like, it's her responsibility. But you're in a position where you're working in the night shift and you have time and you seem somewhat interested in this subject. So maybe you can use your time at work to do that research and maybe find her a better deal and be her advocate. And that would be a good use of your skills.

EARL: That's, yeah. Yeah, you're right. And honestly, that hits a little harder than I expected at three in the morning. Because I think part of why I'm so wound up about this is that I feel useless. Like she's the one doing the driving and the needles and the whole thing three times a week, and I'm just, I'm here.

LUKE: Well, you're not the one that needs the dialysis, so it makes sense that she would be doing it. And that's unfortunate. I'm not saying she deserves it or you don't deserve it. We get what we get. But in your situation, you're not the one that's sick, so it's not on you. But if you can help and you have the time to help and you have the ability to help, then that would be a good thing for you to do. And maybe you can help others as you learn more information about this.

EARL: No, I hear you. And I know it's not on me. But that doesn't stop me from feeling like I should be doing more. Like, I'm the one who's got the time to sit here and read articles between customers. And she's the one who's got to live with it. And I don't know. Maybe that's just how it is. But it still feels like I'm letting. her down by not knowing more.

LUKE: Well, you are not. It's not your responsibility to know anything about dialysis. So the fact that you even read the one article and care enough to call a radio show and talk about it says a lot. I think if you want to invest your time into helping her out, maybe you can make something happen there or at least let her know that you tried, you know, and sometimes that's enough. It's a horrible thing that people have to go through. And hopefully future soon. They can 3D print new parts for people when they fail. That's, I think, what we're all hoping for.

EARL: Yeah. Yeah, man. I hope so too.

LUKE: Okay, so we're doing fake Fat Tuesday trivia. I've got a question for you. Are you ready?

EARL: Oh, I'm ready. Hit me. I got nothing but time out here.

LUKE: All right. New Orleans is known for second lines. What exactly is a second line?

EARL: Okay, so a second line is basically this wild, unplanned parade that happens after a funeral in New Orleans. The main funeral procession is all somber and formal, right? But then, after the burial, the family and friends, and just who wants to join, musicians, dancers, random folks off the street, all start following the band again. But this time it's a brass bands play, people dance in the street. It's all about celebrating the person's life instead of just mourning. Yeah, man, it's a pretty cool. cool thing.

LUKE: I don't know why other places don't do that. It's just a big party when somebody dies. So everybody mourns real quick and then everybody parties behind them. That's the way it should be. And it's a cool thing that New Orleans does. And we appreciate the city of New Orleans for that.

EARL: Hell yeah, that's the spirit. I mean, if you're going to go, might as well go out with a brass band and a two-step, right? None of this quiet, sad funeral nonsense. Just send them off with a good time.

LUKE: you and thanks for the call. Don't feel too bad about your involvement and your sister's medical procedures. She's going to have to go through what she has to go through. And if you can help, great, do what you can. But don't take it upon yourself to be responsible because it's not on you. You're not her caregiver. And anything you do is you trying to help. We got one more caller today. And our caller is Carmen. Carmen, thanks for calling in. It's a Big Fat Tuesday, you're the last caller of the night. I've got some trivia for you. Are you ready for it?

CARMEN: Wait, hold on. Before you hit me with trivia, can I just? I just pulled my clarinet out of a closet for the first time in 10 years, and I don't know what to do about it.

LUKE: Well, how about you play us a little ditty?

CARMEN: I wish. I opened the case and just kind of stared at it. I don't even know if it's still in playable, can't.

LUKE: How long you play the clarinet for?

CARMEN: From when I was about nine until I was 18. So almost 10 years. I was good, Luke.

LUKE: You play the clarinet for 10 years and you don't know by looking at one if it's in playable condition?

CARMEN: Okay, fair. The reeds are probably shot. The pads might be dried out. I know what to look for. I just haven't let myself actually look yet. I've been sitting here with the case open for like an hour, just not touching it.

LUKE: Okay, why aren't you touching it? If you pulled it out, you obviously want to play, you're thinking about it again. You've played for 10 years, so you certainly know how. I think it's fairly easy to get reeds and replacement parts at a music shop these days. What's the problem?

CARMEN: Because I saw something tonight that kind of cracked me open a little bit. There's this woman, She got a scholarship to University of Arizona 28 years ago, a scholarship that I turned down. And she just posted on Instagram that she's going on a national tour with the Santa Fe Chamber Orchestra, playing the same piece I used to practice until my fingers went numb.

LUKE: Well, obviously, you didn't want to follow that path or you wouldn't have put the clarinet down for so long. But since you did, if it's something that you want to get back into, You still got time. You can still play that piece and you can still join an orchestra. You don't necessarily need a scholarship to a university. There are plenty of chamber orchestras that will take you.

CARMEN: Oh, Iyat. I wanted it so bad I could taste it. But my mom left when I was 16, and my dad was working two jobs, and my little brothers were still in elementary school. Someone had to keep things together. So I stayed home, took the community. college route and ended up working southwest routes out of Phoenix. And now my dad keeps showing up at my place unannounced since he retired, reorganizing my kitchen cabinets and asking why I never play anymore.

LUKE: Okay, well circumstances came up. Your life took an unexpected turn and you dealt with it. And now you're at a different place. You obviously are self-supporting.

LUKE: Your father is retired. And you can get back into the clarinet. If you want to, if it still calls to you, then it's not something that you're going to forget. It's there for the rest of your life. And if an orchestra is something that you want to be a part of, you can absolutely do that.

CALLER: I know. I know you're right. And that's almost the scarier part, right? Like, it's not impossible. There's a community orchestra over in Las Cruces. I've driven past their sign a hundred times. Terrible. If 28 years did what 28 years does, then I have to actually grieve something.

LUKE: Well, hey, I mean, realistically, you're going to pick that up. You are going to be terrible in comparison to how you were 20 years ago. But you'll pick it up quickly. You just got to put in the time. And if you love the clarinet, then you have no problem putting in the time. And you'll get back up to speed. You get your chops back. And I'm sure that the last cruis orchestra is not, um, not, I don't want to say not great, but I mean, your ability level will probably fit in well with a smaller orchestra like that.

CALLER: Huh. No. That's okay. That's actually really funny and also probably true. And kind of a relief. Like, I'm not trying to get to Carnegie Hall. I just want to play again. I just want to play again. I just want to feel that thing again where you're so inside the music that everything else just

LUKE: Well, you can do that. You've got that clarinet right there. All you got to do is run down to the music store, get some reeds. If you don't have a music store, then order them online. But they're not expensive. You know what you need to do. Pick up the clarinet and play some music and do that every day for a while. Get your chops back up and then think about joining that orchestra because there's nothing cooler than listening to an orchestra.

CALLER: Yeah, yeah, you're right. And honestly, the clarinet's right here in front of me. I've been staring at it for an hour, like it's going to bite me. My dad's going to lose his mind when he finds out, by the way. He's going to show up and reorganize my living room and take full credit for it somehow.

LUKE: Hey, good for him. You know, he's got to get some small wins.

CALLER: That's okay. That's fair. He does. He really does. The man raised three kids by himself. And now he's retired and lonely and showing up at my place moving my spice rack around. Let him have it. But, okay, I have a question for you.

LUKE: All right. Hit me with it. What's your question?

CALLER: Do I play it tonight? Like right now, after we hang up? Because it's almost, what, one in the morning? I've got a flight out of Phoenix tomorrow. But I'm sitting here. And the case is open and I just, I kind of want to.

LUKE: Well, you said that it had dried out reeds and it may not be in playable condition, but if you can play it, yeah, sure, you should. But it's not one in the morning. It's closer to quarter of four in the morning. And you're calling Luke at the Roost. It's our fake fat Tuesday special. And I have a question for you now. It's my turn. Are you ready for my question?

CALLER: Quarter of four? Oh my God. I have to be up in. Okay. Yes. Yeah. Hit me with your question. I'm ready.

LUKE: Okay. What is a neutral ground in New Orleans? And why is it called that?

CALLER: Oh. Oh, no. Okay. Um, is it the median?

LUKE: It is the median. You're correct. Canal Street once served as the boundary between Creole and American settlements. In the middle was considered a neutral territory. So that's why they call it neutral territory. Thank you for the call. Congratulations on your newfound reinvigoration into music. I hope that goes well for you and that you get into that orchestra. We'll talk to you a little bit later. That's the end of our show.