LUKE: All right, all right, welcome back to Luke at the Roost. I am your host, Luke, and this is the late night talk show where you can call in and talk to me about your problems. If you'd like to call in, our number is, our number is, I don't remember what our number is. It's 208-439-5853. That's 208-439- Luke. If you'd like to call in, we'll get you on there. All right, tonight we're going to try something a little bit different. I've got a game prepared for you all. Here's how it's going to go. It's called Real or Fake News. I'm going to read a headline and you, the caller, get to tell me whether this is real or fake news. Let's go to the phones. First up, we've got Reggie. Reggie, welcome to the show. We're going to play a game here. I'm going to read you a headline. And you can tell me if this is a real headline from the real news or a fake headline that I made up. These aren't so easy. So you're going to have to pay attention. Are you ready? Here's the headline. Rodeo Art Gallery collective votes to ban all cactus-themed paintings, calls them overdone tourist pandering. Is that a real headline or a fake headline?

REGGIE: Oh, man, that's fake. That's got to be fake. No way some art gallery is voting to ban cactus paintings. I mean, this is the desert, right?

LUKE: That is correct. Well done. Well done, sir. What else has got you calling in?

REGGIE: Yeah. So my partner packed a bag this morning and said they were going to their moms for a few days. But the whole thing felt off, you know? Wouldn't look me in the eye. Just throwing stuff in the bag real quick and out the door. I've been running it through my head all day at the truck. And I can't shake this feeling that something's really wrong.

LUKE: Well, is there anything that happened recently that makes you feel that way?

REGGIE: Not that I can think of. That's what's eating at me. I mean, things have been normal. We've been good. We watched the new season announcement for Fallout together last week. We were both excited about it.

LUKE: Well, you know what I always say. Those that watched announcements for Fallout together stay together. So it sounds like everything's great with you guys. I'm not sure why you're concerned. Maybe this is something you can just let go.

REGGIE: I don't know, Luke. I wish I could just let it go. But you didn't see how she moved this morning. It was like she couldn't get out fast enough.

LUKE: Did you fart?

REGGIE: What? No, man. I didn't fart. This is serious. I'm trying to figure out if my relationship is falling apart here.

LUKE: Well, if you're trying to figure out stuff about your relationship, I mean, your best bet would be to talk to your significant other about that, not a late night talk show radio host. If you've got anything concrete to talk about, then I'll try to give you the best advice I can. But it sounds like you're getting yourself worked up over nothing.

REGGIE: You're right. I should just talk to her. But she's not answering my calls. And that's what's got me spinning out. I've called three times today, and it just goes to voicemail.

LUKE: Well, three times is enough. You can stop calling now. If she needs to get back to you, she will. Now you're acting a little bit crazy. So I'm sure there's something going on that's very explainable. And when she comes back and things come down, have a talk and tell her how you feel.

REGGIE: Yeah, OK. You're probably right. I just needed to hear someone say it out loud, I guess. It's been a long day at the truck. And my head's been going to dark places.

LUKE: Hey, I understand. It happens to us all sometimes. Congratulations. You were on your correct answer. Let's go to Brenda. Brenda, welcome to the show. We're playing a game here. It's called Real or Fake News. Are you ready?

BRENDA: Oh, hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm ready. But listen. I got to tell you what happened to me today at the diner, because I am still pissed off about it. Can I do that first? This whole tipping thing is out of control.

LUKE: I agree with you, tipping is out of control. Yes, we can do that first.

BRENDA: Oh, man. OK. So I'm over at the desert rose diner. You know, the one down the road by the old gas station. And I'm just trying to grab a quick bite before my shift. I'm already running late, and I'm tired as hell from hauling some drunk tourist out of a ditch earlier.

LUKE: OK, so you're tired, and you're getting a bite to eat, and what seems to be the problem?

BRENDA: So I get the bill, right? And there's already an automatic 20% tip added on there. But then, and this is what got me. The card reader they earned me has buttons that start at 25%, 30%, 35%, with a little custom option at the bottom. I can't some kind of asshole if I pick it.

LUKE: Yeah, I think that pisses a lot of people off. It definitely pisses me off. And I don't think it's right either. They're hoping that the person behind you is peer-pressuring you into picking the largest one and the person at the other end is watching you judgingly. I totally get that. That is obnoxious. And I don't like it either. I don't think anybody does.

BRENDA: Exactly. And the waitress is standing right there watching me. So now I'm doing math in my head, trying to figure out if I hit custom and go back down to the 20% that's already on the bill. Am I going to look cheap? I'm an ambulance driver, Luke. I make decent money, but I'm not rolling in it. And I got two kids at home.

LUKE: Yeah, I think that's an awful thing, too. But you should not feel bad if you have to put in a custom tip and put it at 0% because they already took the tip. Like your cheeseburger should not end up costing you $47. I'm sorry that that wait staff aren't paid a lot. But especially if you went to pick it up, if you went to pick up the food and then just hand it to you, it's not like if you sat down at a restaurant and they've got to bring you the plates and fill your coffee and stuff. But if they just hand you something, then I don't know that you got to give them 30% of the already overpriced burger. That's pretty rotten. OK, so now let's get to our game here. So I'm going to read you a headline. And you tell me if it's a real headline or fake headline. Let's go. Animus School District wins state award despite having fewer students than most single classrooms.

BRENDA: Oh, damn. Well, that's real, isn't it? I mean, out here, we've got schools with like 12 kids total. My daughter's class has maybe eight students on a good day. So yeah, I'm going to say that's real.

LUKE: No. No, it's not real. But I got you there. You got to be quick. You got to be quick. Some of these are not easy. I would have thought that was real, too. But no, that is a fake headline that is not true. Well, it may be true, but that headline is not. So thanks for calling in. And yeah, next time you end up buying food out and are asked to double-tip, say no. There's nothing wrong with that. And you can sleep well at night.

BRENDA: Yeah, you're right. I'm going to do that next time. Thanks, Luke. I appreciate it.

LUKE: OK, thanks for calling in Brenda. Next up, oh, we got a returning caller. Hey, Keith, welcome back to the show. You're playing a real or fake news. Are you ready for your headline?

KEITH: Oh, man. Hey, Luke, yeah, I'm ready. But hold on, I actually called for something else this time. I got a real quick update on that woman from last time, the one who showed up at the cemetery at midnight looking for her husband's plot. Turns out she's been coming back.

LUKE: OK, so she's coming back. She's grieving for her dead husband. What's wrong with that?

KEITH: No, no, that's the thing. She's not grieving. She shows up like clockwork every Thursday around 11, parks by the maintenance shed, and just sits in her car for like 45 minutes.

LUKE: Well, that sounds like grieving to me. Everybody grieves differently. But what is it that you think she's doing out there by the maintenance shed?

KEITH: Well, that's what I'm trying to tell you. She's not near her husband's plot at all. His grave is clear on the other side of the cemetery. Up by the oak trees. She's just sitting in her car in the dark by the shed, engine running.

LUKE: And I can see her looking at her phone the whole time. Why does that bother you? She's not hurting you. She's not hurting the cemetery. What do you care?

KEITH: For real, though, it's weird, Luke. I work nights. I'm the only one there. And she knows I'm there because she sees my truck.

LUKE: I still don't understand why this is a problem for you, sir. If you have a point, please get to it.

KEITH: OK, so yeah. Last Thursday, I walked over there to ask if she needed help or whatever. And when I got close, she just drove off real quick. Then two days ago, Gary, my neighbor, he mentioned seeing her at the safe way, and she asked him about me, like where I live, if I'm married, that kind of thing. That's what's bothering me.

LUKE: Is she cute?

KEITH: I mean, she's not bad looking or anything, but Luke, she's asking my neighbor about me after showing up at my work every week in the middle of the night. That's not normal, right?

LUKE: She sounds like a pretty good time. Maybe she gets to know this woman.

KEITH: Oh, come on, man. She's married or married. I don't know, but her husband's plot is right there in section 12, and she's not even visiting it. She's just lurking.

LUKE: Well, she's married to a dead guy, and she's creeping on you, so I mean, it sounds like maybe she's not married anymore. That's how it works.

KEITH: Well, here's the thing, though. I looked up the plot after the first couple of times. Her husband died in 2019.

LUKE: OK, so she's on the market. She's looking for a new person to fill that space in her life, and maybe it's you. You said she's attractive, and she's obviously putting in the effort, so maybe have a chat with her, bring her a coffee late at night.

KEITH: For real, though, Luke, I'm not trying to date someone who's been staking out my workplace at two in the morning for three months. That's not how normal people meet. And Maria, my sister, she said the same thing Gary's saying, like, oh, maybe she's lonely. Maybe she just wants to talk. But I'm telling you, something feels off about it.

LUKE: Well, what can I say? If you're afraid of this poor defenseless widow, and you fear for your life, then maybe talk to the police and get a restraining order against her. I'm going to call you a pussy for that. You should just go talk to the woman and see what's going on. But hey, some people just don't have the intestinal fortitude to make those decisions and conversations themselves.

KEITH: All right, all right. Damn, Luke, you don't got to call me a pussy. I'm not scared of her. I just don't want to be the guy who gets tangled up in some weird cemetery drama.

LUKE: Well, you know, then maybe stop making a weird cemetery drama or nothing. But we're doing a game here, and I'm going to read you a headline, and I want you to tell me if it's a real headline or a fake news. Here we go. Hidalgo County goes Republican by over 60% for the first time since Nixon's 1972 landslide. Is that a real headline or a fake one?

KEITH: Oh, man, that's got to be fake. Hidalgo County's been blew forever. There's no way they flipped that hard.

LUKE: Oh, it is a real headline, sir. I wish you the best of luck with your cemetery situation, but that is a real headline. OK, next up. Next up on the list, we got Tanya. Tanya, thanks for calling the show. We're playing the game today. Do you understand the rules?

TANYA: Yeah, I got it. You tell me a headline. I say if it's real or fake. But Luke, real quick before we do that, I got to tell you about this thing I read today because it's been stuck in my head all night. You know how dogs can tell how long you've been gone?

LUKE: How can dogs tell how long you've been gone?

TANYA: Oh, man, it's the weirdest thing so I was reading this article about how dogs can smell time.

LUKE: Smell time? Like a synesthesia thing, like a hearing colors kind of situation? Do you think that's true?

TANYA: No, no, it's not like that. What it is, the scent molecules from when you leave they fade over time, right? So when you walk out the door in the morning, your smell is strong.

LUKE: Wow, I guess that makes sense.

TANYA: Yeah, that's interesting. So they have a sort of thing in their brain where they can figure out from your smell how long you've been not there anymore.

LUKE: Exactly. Like the finter your smell gets, the longer you've been gone, so they're not actually smelling time. They're smelling the absence of you.

TANYA: And apparently they can tell the difference between you being gone two hours versus six hours just by how much the scent faded.

LUKE: Wow, that is really interesting. How long do you think it takes for the scent to fade completely?

TANYA: I don't know, the article didn't say exactly, but I'm guessing it depends on the house, you know? Like how much air is moving through if you got the swamp cooler running or whatever. But what got me is, I got this dog, right?

LUKE: Yeah, okay, you got the dog and you get the scent, so what happens?

TANYA: So his name's Piscuit. He's this mutt I got from the pound maybe three years ago. And every single day when I come home from work, he goes absolutely nuts. Like I could be gone eight hours cleaning houses and he acts like I've been gone a week.

LUKE: Well, yeah, he's a dog. You're the most important thing in his life. So when you're gone, that's a rough time for a dog. My dog doesn't like it at all. If I leave him five minutes, he freaks out. So I usually don't. I take him with me everywhere, because that sucks.

TANYA: Right, but here's what I'm thinking now. Like does he go that crazy because my smell is almost gone? Like is eight hours long enough that he's starting to worry I'm not coming back?

LUKE: I don't know, but I've always felt that way. I mean, from the the ferocity of the response when I do come back, it does seem like they thought you're never going to come back and he's just so excited to see you back.

TANYA: Yeah, but that's what's been messing with me. Because I got this one client, Mrs. Delgado, right?

LUKE: Sure thing, what's up with Mrs. Delgado?

TANYA: So she's in her eighties, lives alone in this big house of motel drive. And she's got this little chihuahua mix and every Tuesday and Friday, I'm there for like three hours. And that dog just sits in the corner and watches me the whole time. Doesn't bark, doesn't come up to me, just stairs.

LUKE: Do you think maybe that your scent is overriding her scent and it's confusing him?

TANYA: Oh damn, I didn't even think about that. Like maybe I'm bringing in all these other smells from the other houses I cleaned that day. Because yeah, I'm usually at two or three places before I get to hers.

LUKE: Well, that is an interesting tidbit of information. And now let's get to the game. So here is your headline. Are you ready? Here we go. Lord'sburg Water Department violates state fluoride standards, issues noticed to all customers.

TANYA: Oh man, that's real. They've been sending out those notices for like two months now. Something about the filtration system or the pipes. I can't remember exactly. But yeah, that's definitely real.

LUKE: You are correct, very well done. Thanks for the call. That was a pretty good one. We'll talk to you again later. Tanya, have a wonderful night. Okay, next up we've got Andre. Andre, welcome to the show. We're playing real or fake news today. And I'm gonna read you a headline and I want you to tell me if it is real news or fake news.

ANDRE: Yeah, I'm ready for the game. But I got to tell you something first man. So I found out today that the family I returned that money to back in December. You remember the 15 grand from the house fire.

LUKE: I remember.

ANDRE: Turns out they're suing the homeowners insurance company and my names on the court documents. My captain pulled me aside this morning and I'm sitting there like, what the hell did I do wrong? I did the right thing.

LUKE: Yeah, that doesn't really sound like anything. I let him try, you did the right thing. As long as you truly did do the right thing, you don't have anything to worry about there. Let them sue whoever they got to sue and they're not gonna win.

ANDRE: Yeah, I mean you're right. I know I didn't do anything wrong. It's just, I'll be honest with you.

LUKE: It caught me off guard seeing my name in legal paperwork. When I was the one who made sure they got their money back.

TJ: My buddy TJ said the same thing. He's like, don't even worry about it. But that's the part that gets me. I spent three months not gambling, doing the right thing and now I'm dragged into some insurance dispute.

LUKE: Yeah, that sucks, that's super annoying but you're not gonna have to do anything for that. So don't worry about it. And now it's time for the game. So here is your headline. I need you to tell me if this is real news or fake news. Cotton City chili plant workers demand milk stations after habanero processing incidents since two to a Lord's Bird clinic.

CALLER: Oh man, let me think about this one. Caden City chili plant workers demand milk stations after a habanero processing incident sends two to a Lord's Bird clinic.

LUKE: Yes sir, it's cotton city, sir, not Caden City. Cotton City chili plant is that a real headline or fake headline?

CALLER: Cotton City, yeah, okay. I'll be honest with you, that sounds real.

LUKE: No, sir, you're wrong as there is no chili plant in cotton city. That's why they call it cotton city, not chili city. But thanks for trying and don't worry about your situation. That's just a minor annoyance. It's gonna blow over on a tone. All right, let's see, who's up? Deb, Deb, welcome to the show. Are you ready for your article?

DEB: Yeah, I'm ready Luke, but I got to tell you something first. My boss handed me a stack of safety reports yesterday and told me I got a week to sign off on them. Thing is, I know they're bullshit. The dry events haven't been cleaned in over a year. We got electrical panels at Spark when it rains and he's got me writing down that everything's up to code. I don't know what the hell to do here.

LUKE: Well, that is a tough one. If things aren't up to code and there's a safety issue, I would say that it's your moral responsibility to report that accurately.

DEB: Oh, I hear you, Luke, but it ain't that simple. This ain't some big corporate laundromat over in Phoenix. This is a little place out in the middle of nowhere. And my boss, he's been running it since before I was born. If I say no, he's going to fire me. And then what? I got bills. I got my grandma your lander to think about. She's the one who really keeps things together, you know?

LUKE: Well, you know, maybe then what you have to do is write the report the way the boss says and send an anonymous letter to the editor of your paper and make sure you know, go the whistleblower route.

DEB: Oh, Luke, you're funny. The, that's the weekly, and the editor's my cousin's husband.

LUKE: Well, there you go. It sounds like you've got an end with the publication so you can take care of the situation kind of an alternate route, you know, and save your job and not make it look like it was you. So that's what I suggest you do if that's what you have to do. But, I mean, you're better off to just tell the boss, hey, look, you're going to have to take care of these safety concerns and be the bigger woman.

DEB: Yeah, but see, that's the thing. I tried that already. Last month, I told him the dry event in number three was a fire hazard, and he just looked at me like I was speaking Chinese.

LUKE: Yeah, well, I mean, you've got to do what you've got to do if you've got to send the letter off to that editor, then that's what you do. Okay, so here's your headline, cotton city. Oh, no, no, no, no, next. That's the one we just did. Okay, okay. Border Patrol reports record low apprehensions at analog Wells port. Attributes to nobody knowing it exists.

DEB: Oh, man, that's fake. That's got to be fake.

LUKE: That's correct. And you are correct. Thank you for the call. Thanks for playing our game today. Next up, Rick. Rick, welcome to the radio show. We're playing real news or fake news. It's the game where I read a headline, and you tell me if it's a real headline or a fake headline. And your headline, sir, is Lightning Doc Geothermal Plant sold to new owner for undisclosed sum. Only utility scale plant in the state.

RICK: Oh, man, I'm going to say that's real. I heard something about that, actually. Wasn't there some kind of geothermal thing up near the guilla? I want to say real, Luke.

LUKE: You are correct, sir. Very well done. That is the correct answer. Is there anything else you called about today?

RICK: Yeah, actually. I wanted to give you an update from last time I called. Remember I was talking about that whole thing with the enchiladas in the minivan? Realizing I needed to stop blaming everybody else for my problems.

LUKE: I don't remember that at all. Please remind myself and our listeners.

RICK: Oh, well, I'll be honest with you. I called in a few weeks back, and I was sitting in my truck eating leftover enchiladas. And I had this whole moment where I realized, I spent all my time complaining about the fed and the government and the economy.

LUKE: Oh, yeah, I remember.

RICK: But I wasn't actually doing anything about my own situation. I work at a bank, which is ironic as hell. And I was just kind of stuck in this loop of blaming everything else instead of taking responsibility.

LUKE: Yeah, I remember you now. So how are you taking responsibility today?

RICK: So here's the thing. I actually did something. I signed up for this welding certification course over at the community college, starts next month. I've been building stuff in my garage for years anyway. And TJ kept telling me I should do something with it. So I finally pulled the trigger. Figure if I can get certified. Maybe I can pick up some side work, eventually do it full time.

LUKE: All right, well done. That's a good step forward. And move towards your new career. Congratulations. And we're all very proud of you for taking the step.

RICK: I appreciate that, Luke. But anyway, the reason I'm calling tonight is because something happened at work today that's kind of messing with my head. This older guy came in, probably 75. And he was trying to withdraw like $8,000 cash.

LUKE: OK, what's wrong with that? Maybe he's buying a car or going to the casino or met a young male-order bride? There's lots of reason somebody could want to withdraw a grand.

RICK: No, no, that's not it. The guy was shaking the whole time. And he kept saying, I need to get this out before they take it all. Like he was scared. And I asked him what he meant. And he just said, you know how it is. They're coming for it. Then he looked over his shoulder like someone was watching him.

LUKE: Was somebody watching him? I mean, it seems like if somebody was looking over his shoulder, taking the money out of the bank would be the worst thing you could do. If he's concerned about somebody taking it, he is probably concerned about the government.

RICK: Yeah, that's what I thought at first, too. But then he leaned in real close and whispered that his daughter's boyfriend has been staying at his house for three weeks. And the guy keeps asking about his finances. Said the boyfriend offered to help him manage his accounts and was getting pushy about it.

LUKE: Oh, that's not good. But you got to remember that's not your problem. You have no statute of responsibility there. Somebody else's family, somebody, he's a grown man. I mean, you can suggest to him that he, I don't even know what to tell the guy. You know, you don't want to get involved in that, though.

RICK: I know. I know. But here's what's eating at me. I gave him the money. I processed it. And the whole time I'm thinking, this is either elder abuse or this guy's paranoid. And either way, I just handed him eight grand in cash that's probably going to disappear.

LUKE: Yeah, that is too bad. That is concerning. But you know, it was his money and he showed up and he was who he said he was. And it's your responsibility to give him his own money. If he then gives it to this other guy and gets ripped off, that's not on you. There's nothing you could have done to stop it.

RICK: I'll be honest with you. That's what my manager said, too. But I looked up the protocols after my shift. And there's actually a thing we're supposed to do.

RICK: If we suspect financial exploitation of a vulnerable adult, we can flag it, delay the transaction, call a supervisor. I didn't do any of that.

LUKE: Oh, well, you didn't know. And now you know next time. And that is shitty for sure. But at least you've learned something. So the next time somebody shows up in a vulnerable situation, you'll know what to do.

RICK: Yeah, you're right. I just keep thinking about him walking out to the parking lot with all that cash, looking over his shoulder. And the worst part is, if I see him come back in next week trying to withdraw more, I don't even know if I'll have the guts to say something. Because what if I'm wrong?

LUKE: Well, you know what I would recommend. If he comes back trying to take more money next week, just say it. And it's a strange conversation to have, but just tell him something, say something, ask, make sure that he is safe. And even if you got to get a wink or nod from him or something, just kind of communicate to him that you're on his side. And if he tells you or gives you a signal that he's in trouble, then follow those protocols that are in place.

RICK: I'll try. But here's the thing. This guy's been coming to my branch for years. He's always been sharp, you know? The kind of guy who'd bring in a bag of homemade tamales for the staff at Christmas.

LUKE: Well, I wish him and you the best of luck. But we're overdue for a word from our sponsors. Before we go there, I've got an article here for you. I need you to tell me if this article is real or fake. Here we go. Plius anti-terrorism training town seeks actors for realistic villagers.

RICK: Oh, man, that's got to be fake. Anti-terrorism training town? That sounds like something out of a movie.

LUKE: Oh, well, you're correct. That is fake. But the anti-terrorism training town is real. Plius is really an anti-terrorism training town. It's the realistic villagers part that was false. So thank you for the call. I wish you the best of luck. And now we've got to go to our sponsors.

[Sponsor read]
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LUKE: OK, welcome to the show, Monique. Monique, you've reached a look at the roost and we're playing a game today. We're playing Real News or Fake News. I'm going to read you the headline of an article, and you tell me if it is Real News or Fake News. And here is your headline. Ready? Animus population drops to just 77 residents down nearly 40% since the 2020 census.

MONIQUE: Oh, man, that one's real. I, that's real. My cousin's ex lives out there in Animus. Well, there, I guess. And she's been bitching for months about how half the businesses on Main Street got boarded up. So the only thing keeping the police going was the damn convention they have last summer. You know, the one where they tried to turn the old motel into a vault replica?

LUKE: I'm not familiar with that particular convention, but you are correct. That was a real headline, and that is the truth. Animus, it's a struggle on little town. I'm going to need some more people. I'm going to need some more people.

MONIQUE: Yeah, well, good luck with that. I mean, who's moving to Animus in 25? The water's questionable. The job's dried up with the mine. And the internet's barely fast enough to stream anything.

LUKE: Hey, hey, hey, hey. I moved to Animus. And I got Starlink. It's plenty fast to stream all of it. I'm running a radio show from an RV in Animus, so uh, so you watch your mouth there, young lady.

MONIQUE: Oh shit, sorry, Luke. I didn't know you were actually out there. Well, hey, at least you got the Starlink working. That's something.

LUKE: All right, thanks, Monique. Wow, no goddamn respect. Can you believe that? Jesus. OK, Jerome, Jerome, welcome back to the show. How can we help you today, sir? You know about our game?

JEROME: Yeah, Luke, I know the game, but listen. I got to tell you about something that happened out near Shakespeare last weekend. My son, Marcos and I, we were poking around the old buildings. You know, just taking pictures. Looking for stories. And man, we saw something I can't explain. We're standing by this collapsed general store around dusk. And there's this light moving real slow across the hills, not like a plane, not like headlights. Dead silent.

LUKE: You mean like a UFO, like extraterrestrial transportation?

JEROME: Yeah, man, exactly that. I've been saying for years that the Boothields got activity. And this was the clearest thing I've ever seen.

LUKE: Well, you know, we are a way out here where there's a lot of military operations and top secret planes. And who knows what going on? Do you think it could have been a military operation or test?

JEROME: I mean, look, I thought about that. But Luke, this thing was hovering than it just shot off at an angle that no plane does.

LUKE: You didn't happen to get any photographic evidence of this, did you?

JEROME: That's the thing that's killing me. Marcos had his phone out the whole time we were there taking pictures of the buildings. But when this thing showed up, we both just froze. By the time I thought to grab mine, it was already gone. We got nothing. I know how that sounds. Believe me.

LUKE: Oh, that's too bad. You got to be quick, quick, quick with these things. Just like in our game, real news or fake news. You got to be quick, quick, quick. And here is your headline, sir. The headline is meta partners with the energy company on a $1 billion geothermal plant to power New Mexico data centers. Is that a real headline or fake headline?

JEROME: Real. That's real news. I just read about that the other day that trying to use all that underground heat for these computer facilities, right?

LUKE: That's it, sir. You are correct, very well done. And since we took a long time last time, we're going to have to go to another one of our sponsors.

[Sponsor read]
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LUKE: OK, brutal honesty, I should use that myself. Next up to the show, you're our last caller, Jasmine. Jasmine, we're playing real or fake news today. And I've got an article for you. Are you ready for it?

JASMINE: Oh, hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm ready. But can I just say something real quick first? I heard Rick earlier, the guy from the bank. And man, I think you were a little hard on him.

LUKE: You think I was hard on Rick? I don't think I really was. Why do you think I was hard on him?

JASMINE: Well, he sounded pretty torn up about it, you know? Like he was genuinely worried he missed something with that old guy. And I get it. I mean, I work at a feed store, right? And we get older folks coming in all the time. And sometimes you can just tell something's off.

LUKE: Oh, for real. And I agree.

LUKE: And I empathize with both Rick and the older gentleman that he was talking about. I'm not sure what else I could have said to ease his mind.

JASMINE: Yeah? OK, that's fair. I guess I just, I don't know. Maybe I'm projecting. I've been feeling guilty about stuff lately, too. And hearing him beat himself up kind of got to me.

LUKE: What are you guilty about? What did you do? What did you do, Jasmine?

JASMINE: So OK, here's the thing. My spouse gave me an ultimatum last week. It's either the Bronco or the marriage. And I chose the Bronco. Like I actually said that out loud.

LUKE: The Bronco, like a Ford Bronco? Like a white Bronco?

JASMINE: Yeah, a 72 Ford Bronco. I've been restoring it for six years, Luke. Six years of every spare dollar, every weekend, bleeding knuckles, all of it. And now Valentine's Day is coming up. And I'm sleeping in the guest room. And the truck's sitting out there with frost on it. And I just, I don't know if I made the right call.

LUKE: Well, you know what they say. If the glove fits, you must acquit. OK, Jasmine, here is your headline. Continental divide trail shuttle service now required after three hikers rescued from Crazy Cook Monument Trailhead. Is that a real headline or fake headline?

JASMINE: Oh, man, I'm going to say that's real. We had a couple hikers come through the feed store last fall asking about that area. And they had no idea what they were getting into. Seemed like a rescue waiting to happen.

LUKE: Oh, oh, oh, no, I got to take that one back. Wow, wow, wow, wow. No, you are incorrect. That was a fake headline. But thank you for playing. Try again next time. And folks, thanks to all of our collars today. This has been Luke at the Roost, tune in again tomorrow for a more radio gold.