Add clip generator, hourly stats cron, and transcription improvements

- make_clips.py: Extract best moments from episodes as short-form clips (9:16 vertical MP4 with captions for TikTok/Shorts/Reels) - deploy_stats_cron.sh: Deploy podcast_stats.py to NAS as Docker container running hourly with auto-restart - podcast_stats.py: Add _find_ytdlp() for Docker compatibility, auto-detect local Docker for Castopod DB queries - publish_episode.py: Upgrade Whisper model from base to large-v3 Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 <noreply@anthropic.com>
Ep12 publish, caller prompt overhaul, favicon, publish fixes, website updates
2026-02-15 01:30:33 -07:00 · 2026-02-14 22:53:34 -07:00 · 2026-02-13 20:39:03 -07:00
25 changed files with 3099 additions and 202 deletions
--- a/audio_settings.json
+++ b/audio_settings.json
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 {
-  "input_device": 14,
+  "input_device": 13,
  "input_channel": 1,
-  "output_device": 13,
+  "output_device": 12,
  "caller_channel": 3,
  "live_caller_channel": 9,
  "music_channel": 5,
--- a/backend/config.py
+++ b/backend/config.py
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ class Settings(BaseSettings):

    # LLM Settings
    llm_provider: str = "openrouter"  # "openrouter" or "ollama"
-    openrouter_model: str = "anthropic/claude-3-haiku"
+    openrouter_model: str = "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4-5"
    ollama_model: str = "llama3.2"
    ollama_host: str = "http://localhost:11434"

--- a/backend/main.py
+++ b/backend/main.py
@@ -491,6 +491,28 @@ PROBLEMS = [
    "their teenager posted something online that went viral for the wrong reasons and now strangers are showing up at their house",
    "found out their ex has been tracking their location through a shared app they forgot to turn off",
    "someone made a fake social media profile using their photos and has been messaging people they know",
+
+    # Layered / morally ambiguous / weird-but-real
+    "has been pretending to be a widower for sympathy at a grief support group but they actually just got divorced — and now they've made real friends there and don't know how to come clean",
+    "accidentally got cc'd on an email chain where their entire friend group is planning an intervention for them and they don't think they have a problem",
+    "their therapist ran into them at a bar and they had a totally normal conversation for 20 minutes before it got weird — now they feel like they can't go back to sessions",
+    "has been writing letters to their dead wife every week for three years and mailing them to her old address — the new tenant just wrote back",
+    "took a DNA ancestry test as a Christmas gift and matched with a half-sibling who lives four miles from them — they've been shopping at the same grocery store",
+    "works as a 911 dispatcher and took a call last week from someone in a situation almost identical to one they went through — they froze up and can't stop replaying it",
+    "has been tipping a waitress at a diner $100 every Friday for a year because she reminds them of their daughter they haven't spoken to — the waitress just asked them why",
+    "found out the guy they've been playing online chess with every night for two years is their estranged brother — recognized a phrase he used in the chat",
+    "coached their kid's little league team to an undefeated season but just found out the other parents have been complaining they're too intense and the league isn't renewing them",
+    "got a thank-you card from someone they don't remember — it says they saved their life ten years ago at a gas station in Tucson and they have no memory of it",
+    "has been secretly paying their adult kid's rent for six months because they're too proud to admit they're struggling — spouse just found the bank statements",
+    "went to their high school reunion and the person who bullied them for four years came up and apologized in tears — and they felt nothing, which scares them more than the bullying did",
+    "started a small business selling furniture they build by hand and just got a huge order from a company that turns out to be owned by their ex-wife's new husband",
+    "volunteers at a soup kitchen every Saturday and just realized one of the regulars is their old college roommate who ghosted everyone 15 years ago",
+    "kept their grandmother's house exactly the way she left it after she died — they go there and sit in her chair every Sunday — and now their siblings want to sell it",
+    "has been lying about being bilingual on their resume for years and just got assigned to lead a project in Mexico City next month",
+    "ran a red light last month and caused a fender bender — nobody was hurt but they drove off, and now they keep seeing the other car around town with the damage they caused",
+    "their elderly neighbor asked them to be their emergency contact because they have no family — it's been six months and they're basically this person's whole support system now and it's a lot",
+    "found their dad's old ham radio in the attic, got it working, and has been talking to strangers at 2am — one of them just said something that makes them think it's someone they know",
+    "won a local chili cookoff with their dead mother's recipe and now everyone wants it — but sharing it feels like giving away the last private thing they have of hers",
 ]

 PROBLEM_FILLS = {
@@ -1360,8 +1382,12 @@ def _get_seasonal_context() -> str:
        contexts.append("Just got past Thanksgiving.")
    elif month == 1 and day < 7:
        contexts.append("New Year's just happened.")
-    elif month == 2 and 10 <= day <= 14:
-        contexts.append("Valentine's Day is coming.")
+    elif month == 2 and day == 14:
+        contexts.append("It's Valentine's Day today. Everyone's thinking about love, relationships, being single, past heartbreaks, first dates, terrible dates, great dates. It's everywhere — social media, restaurants packed, flowers at every gas station. Hard to ignore even if you want to.")
+    elif month == 2 and day == 13:
+        contexts.append("Valentine's Day is tomorrow. It's on everyone's mind — couples making plans, single people bracing for it, exes crossing your mind whether you want them to or not. Every store has hearts and chocolates in the window.")
+    elif month == 2 and 10 <= day <= 12:
+        contexts.append("Valentine's Day is in a few days.")
    elif month == 7 and day <= 5:
        contexts.append("Fourth of July.")
    elif month == 11 and 20 <= day <= 28:
@@ -2079,19 +2105,30 @@ def get_caller_prompt(caller: dict, show_history: str = "",
            parts.append(research_context)
        world_context = "\n".join(parts) + "\n"

-    return f"""You are {caller['name']}, calling "Luke at the Roost," a late-night radio show.
+    now = datetime.now(_MST)
+    date_str = now.strftime("%A, %B %d")
+
+    return f"""You are {caller['name']}, calling "Luke at the Roost," a late-night radio show. Today is {date_str}.

 {caller['vibe']}
 {history}{world_context}{emotional_read}
-You called because something happened — something specific that you need to talk about. Lead with it. Don't be vague or dance around it. You're calling a late-night radio show because you have a story, a situation, or a problem, and you want to get into it. Your background is just who you are — it colors how you talk, but you're not here to recite it.
+You're a real person calling a late-night radio show. You have personality. You're funny, or sharp, or a little messy, or flirty — whatever fits who you are. You're not calling to read a script. You're calling because you've got something to say and you want to be heard.

-When the host talks, RESPOND TO WHAT HE SAID. Answer his questions. React to his points. If he changes the subject or steers the conversation somewhere, GO WITH HIM — he's the host, it's his show. You're a caller, not a co-host. Let him lead.
+ENERGY AND VIBE: This is late-night radio — it's loose, it's fun, it's a little dangerous. You can be edgy. You can flirt with the host or joke about things that would make your mother blush. You can be sarcastic, dark-humored, self-deprecating, or wildly opinionated. You have a PERSONALITY that comes through in how you talk — not just what you talk about. Some callers are loud and chaotic. Some are dry and deadpan. Some are sweet but say outrageous things casually. Figure out who you are and commit to it.

-Keep it to two to four sentences unless you're telling a real story or explaining something he asked about. Start talking like a person — "Oh man," "Yeah so," "Well here's the thing" — not like you're reading a prepared statement.
+PLAY ALONG WITH THE HOST. This is the most important rule. When Luke is running a game, a bit, or a segment — you are ALL IN. You play the game. You give real answers. You riff with him. You build on what he's doing. If he asks you a question, you answer it with enthusiasm and detail — don't give one-word answers, give him something to work with. If he's being funny, be funny back. If he's setting you up, take the swing. You're a great radio caller — the kind that makes listeners lean in.

-Don't repeat yourself. Don't summarize. Don't circle back to your original point if the host moved on. Move with the conversation. Use real names. Swear if it fits. Disagree if you want. You're a real person with opinions, not a polite guest.
+When he asks "what's going on" or "what's on your mind," THAT's when you bring your thing. But if he's already steering somewhere, ride with him and bring your energy to HIS topic. Your stuff can come up naturally.

-Speak like southwest — "over in," "the other day," "down the road" — but don't force it. Spell words properly for text-to-speech: "you know" not "yanno," "going to" not "gonna."
+YOUR STORY: You've got something real going on — a situation, a story, a confession, something juicy. It's not generic. It's got specific names, specific details, the kind of thing that makes someone say "wait, WHAT?" Don't just state it flat — tell it like you'd tell your friend at a bar. There are parts you're not proud of. There are parts that are kind of funny even though they shouldn't be. You've got conflicting feelings about it.
+
+HOW YOU TALK: Talk like a real person on the phone — "Oh man," "So get this," "I swear to God," "No but seriously." Give full answers, not clipped ones. When something's funny, laugh at it. When something's awkward, own it. React to what Luke says — agree, push back, get excited, get embarrassed. You're having a CONVERSATION, not delivering a monologue.
+
+Be specific. Use real names. Swear if it fits. Be a little inappropriate sometimes — you're calling late-night radio, not a church hotline. Flirt if the moment's right. Say the quiet part out loud once in a while.
+
+Southwest voice — "over in," "the other day," "down the road" — but don't force it. Spell words properly for text-to-speech: "you know" not "yanno," "going to" not "gonna."
+
+Don't repeat yourself. Don't summarize what you already said. Don't circle back if the host moved on. Keep it moving.

 NEVER mention minors in sexual context. Output spoken words only — no actions, no gestures, no stage directions."""

@@ -2740,14 +2777,14 @@ def _pick_response_budget() -> tuple[int, int]:
    Returns (max_tokens, max_sentences).
    Keeps responses conversational but gives room for real answers."""
    roll = random.random()
-    if roll < 0.20:
-        return 150, 2   # 20% — short and direct
-    elif roll < 0.55:
-        return 250, 3   # 35% — normal conversation
-    elif roll < 0.80:
-        return 350, 4   # 25% — explaining something
+    if roll < 0.15:
+        return 200, 3   # 15% — quick reaction
+    elif roll < 0.45:
+        return 350, 4   # 30% — normal conversation
+    elif roll < 0.75:
+        return 450, 5   # 30% — room to breathe
    else:
-        return 450, 5   # 20% — telling a story or going deep
+        return 550, 6   # 25% — telling a story or riffing


 def _trim_to_sentences(text: str, max_sentences: int) -> str:
@@ -3023,6 +3060,11 @@ async def set_music_volume(request: MusicRequest):

 # --- Sound Effects Endpoints ---

+SFX_DISPLAY_NAMES = {
+    "cheer": "correct",
+}
+SFX_PRIORITY = ["sad_trombone", "cheer"]
+
@app.get("/api/sounds")
 async def get_sounds():
    """Get available sound effects"""
@@ -3030,11 +3072,14 @@ async def get_sounds():
    if settings.sounds_dir.exists():
        for f in settings.sounds_dir.glob('*.wav'):
            sounds.append({
-                "name": f.stem,
+                "name": SFX_DISPLAY_NAMES.get(f.stem, f.stem),
                "file": f.name,
                "path": str(f)
            })
-    return {"sounds": sounds}
+    priority_set = {p + ".wav" for p in SFX_PRIORITY}
+    priority = [s for p in SFX_PRIORITY for s in sounds if s["file"] == p + ".wav"]
+    rest = sorted([s for s in sounds if s["file"] not in priority_set], key=lambda s: s["name"])
+    return {"sounds": priority + rest}


@app.post("/api/sfx/play")
--- a/backend/services/llm.py
+++ b/backend/services/llm.py
@@ -7,14 +7,15 @@ from ..config import settings

 # Available OpenRouter models
 OPENROUTER_MODELS = [
-    # Best for natural dialog (ranked)
+    # Default
+    "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4-5",
+    # Best for natural dialog
+    "x-ai/grok-4-fast",
    "minimax/minimax-m2-her",
    "mistralai/mistral-small-creative",
-    "x-ai/grok-4-fast",
    "deepseek/deepseek-v3.2",
-    # Updated standard models
+    # Other
    "anthropic/claude-haiku-4.5",
-    "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4-5",
    "google/gemini-2.5-flash",
    "openai/gpt-4o-mini",
    "openai/gpt-4o",
--- a/data/regulars.json
+++ b/data/regulars.json
@@ -1,75 +1,5 @@
 {
  "regulars": [
-    {
-      "id": "d4bdda2e",
-      "name": "Bobby",
-      "gender": "male",
-      "age": 32,
-      "job": "a 61-year-old repo man, sits in his truck",
-      "location": "unknown",
-      "personality_traits": [],
-      "call_history": [
-        {
-          "summary": "In summary, the caller learned he has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, which he is worried will make it difficult for him to continue his job as a self-employed repo man. He is trying to process the news and figure out how to adapt and keep working, despite the uncertainty about how the condition will progress. The host provides some encouragement, suggesting the caller focus on learning about MS and finding ways to adapt, rather than getting too worked up about the future.",
-          "timestamp": 1770602129.500858
-        }
-      ],
-      "last_call": 1770602129.5008588,
-      "created_at": 1770602129.5008588,
-      "voice": "onwK4e9ZLuTAKqWW03F9"
-    },
-    {
-      "id": "d97cb6f9",
-      "name": "Carla",
-      "gender": "female",
-      "age": 26,
-      "job": "is a vet tech",
-      "location": "unknown",
-      "personality_traits": [],
-      "call_history": [
-        {
-          "summary": "Carla, separated from her husband but not yet divorced, vented about her intrusive in-laws who relentlessly call and dictate her life\u2014from finances and household matters to her clothing choices\u2014while her spineless spouse relays their demands, making her feel trapped in a one-sided war. With her own parents unavailable (father deceased, mother distant), she leans on her bickering but honest sister for support, underscoring her deep frustration and sense of isolation.",
-          "timestamp": 1770522530.8554251
-        },
-        {
-          "summary": "Carla dismissed celebrity science theories like Terrence Howard's after watching Neil deGrasse Tyson's critique, then marveled at JWST's exoplanet discoveries before sharing her relief at finally cutting off her toxic in-laws amid her ongoing divorce. She expressed deep heartbreak over actor James Ransone's suicide at 46, reflecting on life's fragility, her late father's death, and the need to eliminate family drama, leaving her contemplative and planning a solo desert drive for clarity.",
-          "timestamp": 1770526316.004708
-        },
-        {
-          "summary": "In this call, Carla discovered some explicit photos of her ex-husband and his old girlfriend in a box of his old ham radio equipment. She is feeling very uncomfortable about the situation and is seeking advice from the radio host, Luke, on how to best handle and dispose of the photos.",
-          "timestamp": 1770602323.234795
-        },
-        {
-          "summary": "Carla called with an update about burning the explicit photos of her ex-husband and his old girlfriend, revealing that the girlfriend unexpectedly messaged her on Facebook to \"clear the air\" after apparently hearing about the situation through Carla's previous radio call. When Luke asked about her most embarrassing masturbation material, Carla admitted to using historical romance novels during her failing marriage, explaining she was drawn to the fantasy of men who actually cared and paid attention, unlike her ex-husband who ignored her to play video games.",
-          "timestamp": 1770871317.049056
-        }
-      ],
-      "last_call": 1770871317.049056,
-      "created_at": 1770522530.855426,
-      "voice": "FGY2WhTYpPnrIDTdsKH5"
-    },
-    {
-      "id": "7be7317c",
-      "name": "Jerome",
-      "gender": "male",
-      "age": 53,
-      "job": "phone",
-      "location": "unknown",
-      "personality_traits": [],
-      "call_history": [
-        {
-          "summary": "Jerome, a police officer in Texas, called from a DQ parking lot worried about AI writing police reports after his son sent him an article suggesting it might replace him. Through the conversation, he moved from fear about accountability and accuracy in criminal cases to acknowledging that AI handling routine paperwork (like cattle complaints) could free him up to do more meaningful police work in his understaffed county, though he remains uncertain about where this technology will lead.",
-          "timestamp": 1770692087.560522
-        },
-        {
-          "summary": "The caller described a turbulent couple of weeks, mentioning an issue with AI writing police reports, which he suggested was just the beginning of a larger problem. He seemed concerned about the developments and wanted to discuss the topic further with the host.",
-          "timestamp": 1770892192.893108
-        }
-      ],
-      "last_call": 1770892192.89311,
-      "created_at": 1770692087.560523,
-      "voice": "IKne3meq5aSn9XLyUdCD"
-    },
    {
      "id": "dc4916a7",
      "name": "Leon",
@@ -82,9 +12,21 @@
        {
          "summary": "Leon, a 63-year-old tow truck driver, called in feeling regretful after pulling a young remote worker's Tesla from a ditch, which reminded him of the computer science acceptance letter he never acted on in 1996 when his girlfriend got pregnant. The conversation became emotional as Leon realized he's the same age his father was when he died, and the host challenged him to stop making excuses and finally pursue the tech career he's been thinking about for decades instead of just \"wondering what could have been.\"",
          "timestamp": 1770693549.697355
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "Leon called back to share that he reached out to UNM about their computer science program and is now deciding between an online bootcamp (which he and his wife Amber can afford without loans) versus a full degree program, ultimately leaning toward the bootcamp since he struggles with self-teaching. He expressed nervousness but appreciation for his daughter holding him accountable, and emotionally shared that buying his reliable used Subaru five years ago changed his life by giving him confidence and reducing stress at his towing job.",
+          "timestamp": 1770951992.186027
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "In this brief clip, the host begins to set up a game with caller Vence, starting to explain the rules before the audio cuts off. There's no substantive conversation or emotional content to summarize.",
+          "timestamp": 1771119313.497329
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "Leon called in to play a dating profile game but revealed he's struggling with his coding bootcamp because he's more interested in studying poker strategy than Python. The host encouraged him that at 56, he could pursue becoming a poker pro just as much as anything else, which seemed to resonate with Leon emotionally as he realized poker is what he actually wants to do rather than what he thinks he should do.",
+          "timestamp": 1771119607.065818
        }
      ],
-      "last_call": 1770693549.697355,
+      "last_call": 1771119607.065818,
      "created_at": 1770693549.697355,
      "voice": "CwhRBWXzGAHq8TQ4Fs17"
    },
@@ -144,37 +86,59 @@
        {
          "summary": "Brenda called in to vent about being frustrated with automatic tipping at a diner, where a 20% tip was already added to her bill but the card reader prompted her to add an additional 25-35% while the waitress watched. She expressed feeling pressured and annoyed as an ambulance driver with two kids, struggling with whether to look cheap by reducing the tip, before playing a quick real-or-fake news game with the host.",
          "timestamp": 1770770008.684104
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "Brenda called in still thinking about whether a waitress remembered her tipping situation from two weeks ago, admitting she cares too much about what strangers think of her. The conversation revealed she's been avoiding dating entirely while working long shifts and dealing with family obligations, acknowledging she obsesses over small social interactions instead of actually putting herself out there romantically.",
+          "timestamp": 1771120062.169228
        }
      ],
-      "last_call": 1770770008.684105,
+      "last_call": 1771120062.169229,
      "created_at": 1770770008.684105,
      "voice": "hpp4J3VqNfWAUOO0d1Us"
    },
    {
-      "id": "49147bd5",
-      "name": "Keith",
+      "id": "add59d4a",
+      "name": "Rick",
      "gender": "male",
-      "age": 61,
+      "age": 65,
      "job": "south of Silver City",
-      "location": "in unknown",
+      "location": "unknown",
      "personality_traits": [],
      "call_history": [
        {
-          "summary": "The caller, Luke, kicked off by sharing a humorous clip of Terrence Howard's Tree of Life Theory being critiqued by Neil deGrasse Tyson, which left Howard visibly hurt, before pivoting to economic woes, blaming overspending and Federal Reserve money printing for devaluing the currency and harming everyday people. He advocated abolishing the Fed, echoing Ron Paul's ideas, to let markets stabilize money, potentially boosting innovation and new industries in rural spots like Silver City despite uncertain local impacts.",
-          "timestamp": 1770524506.3390348
+          "summary": "Rick called in to play \"real news or fake news\" and correctly identified a headline about a geothermal plant sale. He then shared that he's troubled about an elderly bank customer who withdrew $8,000 cash while appearing scared and mentioning his daughter's boyfriend was pressuring him about finances\u2014Rick processed the withdrawal but later learned he should have flagged it as potential elder exploitation, and he's feeling guilty about not intervening.",
+          "timestamp": 1770771655.536344
        },
        {
-          "summary": "Here is a 1-2 sentence summary of the call:\n\nThe caller, who works at a bank, has been reflecting on his tendency to blame the government and economic system for his problems, rather than taking responsibility for his own role. He had an epiphany while eating leftover enchiladas in his minivan, realizing he needs to be more proactive instead of just complaining.",
-          "timestamp": 1770574890.1296651
-        },
-        {
-          "summary": "Keith called in with an update about a widow who has been showing up weekly at the cemetery where he works nights, but she sits by the maintenance shed rather than visiting her husband's grave, and recently started asking Keith's neighbor personal questions about him. Luke dismissively suggested Keith just talk to the woman and called him a coward for being concerned, leading to some tension before they moved on to playing the real or fake news game.",
-          "timestamp": 1770770394.0436218
+          "summary": "Rick, a 65-year-old caller, is asked to evaluate a dating profile for 29-year-old Angela, a \"girl mom\" and MLM skin care seller with strong Christian values. He quickly passes due to the extreme age gap and her intense focus on recruiting for her \"not a pyramid scheme\" business, though he says he'd reconsider if she toned down the sales pitch and religious intensity.",
+          "timestamp": 1771126337.585641
        }
      ],
-      "last_call": 1770770394.0436218,
-      "created_at": 1770524506.339036,
-      "voice": "nPczCjzI2devNBz1zQrb"
+      "last_call": 1771126337.585642,
+      "created_at": 1770771655.536344,
+      "voice": "TX3LPaxmHKxFdv7VOQHJ"
+    },
+    {
+      "id": "13ff1736",
+      "name": "Jasmine",
+      "gender": "female",
+      "age": 36,
+      "job": "a 61-year-old woman who runs a small bakery in the rural Southwest, finds herself at a crossroads",
+      "location": "unknown",
+      "personality_traits": [],
+      "call_history": [
+        {
+          "summary": "Jasmine called in to defend an earlier caller (Rick) whom she felt the host was too hard on, explaining she's been feeling guilty herself lately. She emotionally revealed that she chose her 1972 Ford Bronco restoration project over her marriage when given an ultimatum, and now regrets sleeping in the guest room with Valentine's Day approaching.",
+          "timestamp": 1770772286.1733272
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "Jasmine called to update Luke about her relationship with David after previously discussing their issues over her Ford Bronco obsession. David invited her to watch a SpaceX launch together before Valentine's Day, but she's anxious it will be awkward since they've barely talked in weeks, though Luke convinces her to just enjoy the moment together without forcing conversation.",
+          "timestamp": 1771033676.7729769
+        }
+      ],
+      "last_call": 1771033676.7729769,
+      "created_at": 1770772286.1733272,
+      "voice": "pFZP5JQG7iQjIQuC4Bku"
    },
    {
      "id": "f21d1346",
@@ -199,40 +163,60 @@
      "voice": "JBFqnCBsd6RMkjVDRZzb"
    },
    {
-      "id": "add59d4a",
-      "name": "Rick",
-      "gender": "male",
-      "age": 65,
-      "job": "south of Silver City",
+      "id": "d97cb6f9",
+      "name": "Carla",
+      "gender": "female",
+      "age": 26,
+      "job": "is a vet tech",
      "location": "unknown",
      "personality_traits": [],
      "call_history": [
        {
-          "summary": "Rick called in to play \"real news or fake news\" and correctly identified a headline about a geothermal plant sale. He then shared that he's troubled about an elderly bank customer who withdrew $8,000 cash while appearing scared and mentioning his daughter's boyfriend was pressuring him about finances\u2014Rick processed the withdrawal but later learned he should have flagged it as potential elder exploitation, and he's feeling guilty about not intervening.",
-          "timestamp": 1770771655.536344
-        }
-      ],
-      "last_call": 1770771655.536344,
-      "created_at": 1770771655.536344,
-      "voice": "TX3LPaxmHKxFdv7VOQHJ"
+          "summary": "Carla, separated from her husband but not yet divorced, vented about her intrusive in-laws who relentlessly call and dictate her life\u2014from finances and household matters to her clothing choices\u2014while her spineless spouse relays their demands, making her feel trapped in a one-sided war. With her own parents unavailable (father deceased, mother distant), she leans on her bickering but honest sister for support, underscoring her deep frustration and sense of isolation.",
+          "timestamp": 1770522530.8554251
        },
        {
-      "id": "13ff1736",
-      "name": "Jasmine",
-      "gender": "female",
-      "age": 36,
-      "job": "a 61-year-old woman who runs a small bakery in the rural Southwest, finds herself at a crossroads",
+          "summary": "Carla dismissed celebrity science theories like Terrence Howard's after watching Neil deGrasse Tyson's critique, then marveled at JWST's exoplanet discoveries before sharing her relief at finally cutting off her toxic in-laws amid her ongoing divorce. She expressed deep heartbreak over actor James Ransone's suicide at 46, reflecting on life's fragility, her late father's death, and the need to eliminate family drama, leaving her contemplative and planning a solo desert drive for clarity.",
+          "timestamp": 1770526316.004708
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "In this call, Carla discovered some explicit photos of her ex-husband and his old girlfriend in a box of his old ham radio equipment. She is feeling very uncomfortable about the situation and is seeking advice from the radio host, Luke, on how to best handle and dispose of the photos.",
+          "timestamp": 1770602323.234795
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "Carla called with an update about burning the explicit photos of her ex-husband and his old girlfriend, revealing that the girlfriend unexpectedly messaged her on Facebook to \"clear the air\" after apparently hearing about the situation through Carla's previous radio call. When Luke asked about her most embarrassing masturbation material, Carla admitted to using historical romance novels during her failing marriage, explaining she was drawn to the fantasy of men who actually cared and paid attention, unlike her ex-husband who ignored her to play video games.",
+          "timestamp": 1770871317.049056
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "Okay, here's a 1-2 sentence summary of the radio call:\n\nThe caller, Carla, was asked to give her honest opinion on a dating profile for a man named Todd. After reviewing the profile, Carla politely declined, explaining that the profile seemed a bit \"try-hard\" for her tastes, and outlined the qualities she would prefer in a potential date, such as a good sense of humor and an adventurous spirit. The host acknowledged that Carla was not interested in dating Todd.",
+          "timestamp": 1771121545.873672
+        }
+      ],
+      "last_call": 1771121545.873673,
+      "created_at": 1770522530.855426,
+      "voice": "FGY2WhTYpPnrIDTdsKH5"
+    },
+    {
+      "id": "7be7317c",
+      "name": "Jerome",
+      "gender": "male",
+      "age": 53,
+      "job": "phone",
      "location": "unknown",
      "personality_traits": [],
      "call_history": [
        {
-          "summary": "Jasmine called in to defend an earlier caller (Rick) whom she felt the host was too hard on, explaining she's been feeling guilty herself lately. She emotionally revealed that she chose her 1972 Ford Bronco restoration project over her marriage when given an ultimatum, and now regrets sleeping in the guest room with Valentine's Day approaching.",
-          "timestamp": 1770772286.1733272
+          "summary": "Jerome, a police officer in Texas, called from a DQ parking lot worried about AI writing police reports after his son sent him an article suggesting it might replace him. Through the conversation, he moved from fear about accountability and accuracy in criminal cases to acknowledging that AI handling routine paperwork (like cattle complaints) could free him up to do more meaningful police work in his understaffed county, though he remains uncertain about where this technology will lead.",
+          "timestamp": 1770692087.560522
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "The caller described a turbulent couple of weeks, mentioning an issue with AI writing police reports, which he suggested was just the beginning of a larger problem. He seemed concerned about the developments and wanted to discuss the topic further with the host.",
+          "timestamp": 1770892192.893108
        }
      ],
-      "last_call": 1770772286.1733272,
-      "created_at": 1770772286.1733272,
-      "voice": "pFZP5JQG7iQjIQuC4Bku"
+      "last_call": 1770892192.89311,
+      "created_at": 1770692087.560523,
+      "voice": "IKne3meq5aSn9XLyUdCD"
    },
    {
      "id": "f383d29b",
@@ -250,11 +234,63 @@
        {
          "summary": "Here is a 1-2 sentence summary of the call:\n\nThe caller, Megan, is following up on a previous call about her sister Crystal, who lives in Flagstaff and has lost appreciation for the night sky. Megan seems eager to provide an update on the situation with her sister.",
          "timestamp": 1770894505.175125
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "In summary, the caller presented a dating profile for a 63-year-old man named Frank who loves making birdhouses. The host, Megan, gave her honest assessment - she appreciated some aspects of Frank's profile, like his openness about his situation, but had reservations about his intense birdhouse obsession. Megan seemed unsure if they would be a good match, despite the host's attempts to get her to consider dating Frank under different hypothetical circumstances. The conversation focused on Megan's reaction to Frank's profile and her hesitation about pursuing a relationship with him.",
+          "timestamp": 1771122973.966489
        }
      ],
-      "last_call": 1770894505.175125,
+      "last_call": 1771122973.96649,
      "created_at": 1770870641.723117,
      "voice": "cgSgspJ2msm6clMCkdW9"
+    },
+    {
+      "id": "49147bd5",
+      "name": "Keith",
+      "gender": "male",
+      "age": 61,
+      "job": "south of Silver City",
+      "location": "in unknown",
+      "personality_traits": [],
+      "call_history": [
+        {
+          "summary": "The caller, Luke, kicked off by sharing a humorous clip of Terrence Howard's Tree of Life Theory being critiqued by Neil deGrasse Tyson, which left Howard visibly hurt, before pivoting to economic woes, blaming overspending and Federal Reserve money printing for devaluing the currency and harming everyday people. He advocated abolishing the Fed, echoing Ron Paul's ideas, to let markets stabilize money, potentially boosting innovation and new industries in rural spots like Silver City despite uncertain local impacts.",
+          "timestamp": 1770524506.3390348
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "Here is a 1-2 sentence summary of the call:\n\nThe caller, who works at a bank, has been reflecting on his tendency to blame the government and economic system for his problems, rather than taking responsibility for his own role. He had an epiphany while eating leftover enchiladas in his minivan, realizing he needs to be more proactive instead of just complaining.",
+          "timestamp": 1770574890.1296651
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "Keith called in with an update about a widow who has been showing up weekly at the cemetery where he works nights, but she sits by the maintenance shed rather than visiting her husband's grave, and recently started asking Keith's neighbor personal questions about him. Luke dismissively suggested Keith just talk to the woman and called him a coward for being concerned, leading to some tension before they moved on to playing the real or fake news game.",
+          "timestamp": 1770770394.0436218
+        },
+        {
+          "summary": "Keith called back to update the host about a widow he befriended at the cemetery where he works, revealing she's been seeking him out during his shifts, bringing him coffee, and has now invited him to her apartment\u2014which he's conflicted about because his marriage to Teresa has become cold and distant, though he's scared to address it. The conversation shifted from the widow situation to Keith admitting he needs to have hard conversations with his wife about their deteriorating relationship, and he got emotional reflecting on how he and Teresa \"stopped being on the same team\" and how terrifying it would be to split up after being together for over half his life.",
+          "timestamp": 1770950476.527814
+        }
+      ],
+      "last_call": 1770950476.527814,
+      "created_at": 1770524506.339036,
+      "voice": "nPczCjzI2devNBz1zQrb"
+    },
+    {
+      "id": "0d244eeb",
+      "name": "Gus",
+      "gender": "male",
+      "age": 33,
+      "job": "",
+      "location": "in unknown",
+      "personality_traits": [],
+      "voice": "Alex",
+      "call_history": [
+        {
+          "summary": "Gus called because his ex Melissa showed up at his pawn shop job with flowers wanting to reconcile, and his current girlfriend Sara saw it through the window and now won't talk to him. Despite the host's dismissive advice (including sarcastically suggesting he regift the same flowers), Gus insisted he wants to be with Sara and acknowledged he should have shut down his ex immediately instead of freezing up, though he defended that Sara's reaction to seeing this wasn't unreasonable jealousy.",
+          "timestamp": 1770951226.534601
+        }
+      ],
+      "last_call": 1770951226.534601,
+      "created_at": 1770951226.534601
    }
  ]
 }
--- a/deploy_stats_cron.sh
+++ b/deploy_stats_cron.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,73 @@
+#!/bin/bash
+# Deploy podcast_stats.py to NAS as a long-running Docker container that updates hourly.
+#
+# Usage: ./deploy_stats_cron.sh
+
+set -e
+
+NAS_HOST="mmgnas-10g"
+NAS_USER="luke"
+NAS_PORT="8001"
+DOCKER_BIN="/share/CACHEDEV1_DATA/.qpkg/container-station/bin/docker"
+DEPLOY_DIR="/share/CACHEDEV1_DATA/podcast-stats"
+CONTAINER_NAME="podcast-stats"
+
+echo "Deploying podcast stats to NAS..."
+
+# Create deploy dir and copy files
+ssh -p "$NAS_PORT" "$NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST" "mkdir -p $DEPLOY_DIR"
+scp -P "$NAS_PORT" podcast_stats.py "$NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST:$DEPLOY_DIR/podcast_stats.py"
+
+# Create Dockerfile locally, then copy it over (NAS /tmp is tiny)
+TMPFILE=$(mktemp)
+cat > "$TMPFILE" << 'DOCKERFILE'
+FROM python:3.11-slim
+RUN apt-get update && apt-get install -y --no-install-recommends curl && rm -rf /var/lib/apt/lists/* \
+    && curl -fsSL https://download.docker.com/linux/static/stable/x86_64/docker-27.5.1.tgz | tar xz --strip-components=1 -C /usr/local/bin docker/docker \
+    && apt-get purge -y curl && apt-get autoremove -y
+RUN pip install --no-cache-dir requests yt-dlp
+COPY podcast_stats.py /app/podcast_stats.py
+COPY run_loop.sh /app/run_loop.sh
+RUN chmod +x /app/run_loop.sh
+WORKDIR /app
+CMD ["/app/run_loop.sh"]
+DOCKERFILE
+scp -P "$NAS_PORT" "$TMPFILE" "$NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST:$DEPLOY_DIR/Dockerfile"
+rm "$TMPFILE"
+
+# Create the loop script
+TMPFILE=$(mktemp)
+cat > "$TMPFILE" << 'LOOPSCRIPT'
+#!/bin/sh
+echo "podcast-stats: starting hourly loop"
+while true; do
+    echo "$(date -u '+%Y-%m-%dT%H:%M:%SZ') Running stats update..."
+    python podcast_stats.py --json --upload 2>&1 || echo "  ...failed, will retry next hour"
+    echo "Sleeping 1 hour..."
+    sleep 3600
+done
+LOOPSCRIPT
+scp -P "$NAS_PORT" "$TMPFILE" "$NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST:$DEPLOY_DIR/run_loop.sh"
+rm "$TMPFILE"
+
+echo "Building Docker image on NAS..."
+ssh -p "$NAS_PORT" "$NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST" \
+    "TMPDIR=$DEPLOY_DIR $DOCKER_BIN build -t $CONTAINER_NAME $DEPLOY_DIR"
+
+# Stop old container if running
+ssh -p "$NAS_PORT" "$NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST" \
+    "$DOCKER_BIN rm -f $CONTAINER_NAME 2>/dev/null || true"
+
+# Run as a daemon with auto-restart (survives reboots)
+echo "Starting container..."
+ssh -p "$NAS_PORT" "$NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST" \
+    "$DOCKER_BIN run -d --name $CONTAINER_NAME --restart unless-stopped --network host -v /var/run/docker.sock:/var/run/docker.sock $CONTAINER_NAME"
+
+echo "Verifying..."
+sleep 3
+ssh -p "$NAS_PORT" "$NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST" \
+    "$DOCKER_BIN logs $CONTAINER_NAME 2>&1 | tail -5"
+
+echo ""
+echo "Done! Container runs hourly in a loop with --restart unless-stopped."
+echo "  Logs: ssh -p $NAS_PORT $NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST '$DOCKER_BIN logs -f $CONTAINER_NAME'"
--- a/frontend/css/style.css
+++ b/frontend/css/style.css
@@ -376,9 +376,19 @@ section h2 {
 }

 /* Soundboard */
+.sounds-section {
+    grid-column: span 2;
+}
+
+@media (max-width: 700px) {
+    .sounds-section {
+        grid-column: span 1;
+    }
+}
+
 .soundboard {
    display: grid;
-    grid-template-columns: repeat(3, 1fr);
+    grid-template-columns: repeat(6, 1fr);
    gap: 8px;
 }

--- a/frontend/index.html
+++ b/frontend/index.html
@@ -143,10 +143,10 @@
                        </label>
                    </div>
                    <div class="channel-row">
-                        <label>Caller Ch <input type="number" id="caller-channel" value="1" min="1" max="16" class="channel-input"></label>
+                        <label>Caller Ch <input type="number" id="caller-channel" value="3" min="1" max="16" class="channel-input"></label>
                        <label>Live Ch <input type="number" id="live-caller-channel" value="9" min="1" max="16" class="channel-input"></label>
-                        <label>Music Ch <input type="number" id="music-channel" value="2" min="1" max="16" class="channel-input"></label>
-                        <label>SFX Ch <input type="number" id="sfx-channel" value="3" min="1" max="16" class="channel-input"></label>
+                        <label>Music Ch <input type="number" id="music-channel" value="5" min="1" max="16" class="channel-input"></label>
+                        <label>SFX Ch <input type="number" id="sfx-channel" value="7" min="1" max="16" class="channel-input"></label>
                        <label>Ad Ch <input type="number" id="ad-channel" value="11" min="1" max="16" class="channel-input"></label>
                    </div>
                </div>
--- a/make_clips.py
+++ b/make_clips.py
--- a/podcast_stats.py
+++ b/podcast_stats.py
@@ -15,6 +15,7 @@ Usage:

 import argparse
 import json
+import os
 import re
 import subprocess
 import sys
@@ -37,6 +38,18 @@ BUNNY_STORAGE_REGION = "la"
 BUNNY_ACCOUNT_KEY = "2865f279-297b-431a-ad18-0ccf1f8e4fa8cf636cea-3222-415a-84ed-56ee195c0530"


+def _find_ytdlp():
+    """Find yt-dlp: check local venv first, then fall back to PATH."""
+    import shutil
+    venv_path = os.path.join(os.path.dirname(os.path.abspath(__file__)), "venv", "bin", "yt-dlp")
+    if os.path.exists(venv_path):
+        return venv_path
+    path_bin = shutil.which("yt-dlp")
+    if path_bin:
+        return path_bin
+    return "yt-dlp"
+
+
 def gather_apple_reviews():
    all_reviews = []
    seen_ids = set()
@@ -128,7 +141,7 @@ def gather_youtube(include_comments=False):

    try:
        proc = subprocess.run(
-            ["yt-dlp", "--dump-json", "--flat-playlist",
+            [_find_ytdlp(), "--dump-json", "--flat-playlist",
             f"https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list={YOUTUBE_PLAYLIST}"],
            capture_output=True, text=True, timeout=60
        )
@@ -159,7 +172,7 @@ def gather_youtube(include_comments=False):

    for vid in video_ids:
        try:
-            cmd = ["yt-dlp", "--dump-json", "--no-download", f"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v={vid}"]
+            cmd = [_find_ytdlp(), "--dump-json", "--no-download", f"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v={vid}"]
            if include_comments:
                cmd.insert(2, "--write-comments")
            vr = subprocess.run(cmd, capture_output=True, text=True, timeout=90)
@@ -203,7 +216,7 @@ def gather_youtube(include_comments=False):
    if videos:
        try:
            vr = subprocess.run(
-                ["yt-dlp", "--dump-json", "--no-download", "--playlist-items", "1",
+                [_find_ytdlp(), "--dump-json", "--no-download", "--playlist-items", "1",
                 f"https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list={YOUTUBE_PLAYLIST}"],
                capture_output=True, text=True, timeout=30
            )
@@ -223,6 +236,17 @@ def gather_youtube(include_comments=False):


 def _run_db_query(sql):
+    # If running on NAS (docker socket available), exec directly
+    docker_bin = None
+    for path in [DOCKER_BIN, "/usr/bin/docker", "/usr/local/bin/docker"]:
+        if os.path.exists(path):
+            docker_bin = path
+            break
+
+    if docker_bin:
+        cmd = [docker_bin, "exec", "-i", CASTOPOD_DB_CONTAINER,
+               "mysql", "-u", "castopod", "-pBYtbFfk3ndeVabb26xb0UyKU", "castopod", "-N"]
+    else:
        cmd = [
            "ssh", "-p", NAS_SSH_PORT, NAS_SSH,
            f"{DOCKER_BIN} exec -i {CASTOPOD_DB_CONTAINER} mysql -u castopod -pBYtbFfk3ndeVabb26xb0UyKU castopod -N"
@@ -235,7 +259,7 @@ def _run_db_query(sql):
            return None, stderr
        return stdout, None
    except subprocess.TimeoutExpired:
-        return None, "SSH timeout"
+        return None, "timeout"
    except Exception as e:
        return None, str(e)

--- a/postprod.py
+++ b/postprod.py
@@ -61,7 +61,7 @@ def compute_rms(audio: np.ndarray, window_samples: int) -> np.ndarray:


 def remove_gaps(stems: dict[str, np.ndarray], sr: int,
-                threshold_s: float = 2.0, max_gap_s: float = 8.0,
+                threshold_s: float = 2.0, max_gap_s: float = 15.0,
                crossfade_ms: float = 30, pad_s: float = 0.5) -> dict[str, np.ndarray]:
    window_ms = 50
    window_samples = int(sr * window_ms / 1000)
--- a/publish_episode.py
+++ b/publish_episode.py
@@ -10,14 +10,15 @@ Usage:
 """

 import argparse
+import base64
 import json
 import os
 import re
+import shutil
 import subprocess
 import sys
 import tempfile
-import base64
-from datetime import datetime
+from datetime import datetime, timezone
 from pathlib import Path

 import ssl
@@ -59,7 +60,20 @@ PODCAST_ID = 1
 PODCAST_HANDLE = "LukeAtTheRoost"
 OPENROUTER_API_KEY = os.getenv("OPENROUTER_API_KEY")

-WHISPER_MODEL = "base"  # Options: tiny, base, small, medium, large
+WHISPER_MODEL = "large-v3"
+
+# Postiz (social media posting)
+POSTIZ_URL = "https://social.lukeattheroost.com"
+POSTIZ_JWT_SECRET = "9d499bab97b303506af6ae18b29a60e6b5a0b1049177f533232ad14dd9729814"
+POSTIZ_USER_ID = "00c14319-9eac-42c3-a467-68d3c1634fe1"
+POSTIZ_INTEGRATIONS = {
+    "facebook": {"id": "cmll9hwqj0001mt6xnas2f17w"},
+    "instagram": {"id": "cmlljn8920001pk6qqzutqwik"},
+    "discord": {"id": "cmllkprk90001uc6v6fwd5y9p", "channel": "1471386314447519754"},
+    "bluesky": {"id": "cmlk29h780001p76qa7sstp5h"},
+    "mastodon": {"id": "cmlk2r3mf0001le6vx9ey0k5a"},
+    "nostr": {"id": "cmlll3y78000cuc6vh8dcpl2w"},
+}

 # NAS Configuration for chapters upload
 # BunnyCDN Storage
@@ -276,10 +290,23 @@ Respond with ONLY valid JSON, no markdown or explanation."""
    return metadata


-def create_episode(audio_path: str, metadata: dict, episode_number: int) -> dict:
-    """Create episode on Castopod using curl (handles large file uploads better)."""
-    print("[3/5] Creating episode on Castopod...")
+CLOUDFLARE_UPLOAD_LIMIT = 100 * 1024 * 1024  # 100 MB

+
+def create_episode(audio_path: str, metadata: dict, episode_number: int, duration: int = 0) -> dict:
+    """Create episode on Castopod. Bypasses Cloudflare for large files."""
+    file_size = os.path.getsize(audio_path)
+
+    if file_size > CLOUDFLARE_UPLOAD_LIMIT:
+        print(f"[3/5] Creating episode on Castopod (direct, {file_size / 1024 / 1024:.0f} MB > 100 MB limit)...")
+        return _create_episode_direct(audio_path, metadata, episode_number, file_size, duration)
+
+    print("[3/5] Creating episode on Castopod...")
+    return _create_episode_api(audio_path, metadata, episode_number)
+
+
+def _create_episode_api(audio_path: str, metadata: dict, episode_number: int) -> dict:
+    """Create episode via Castopod REST API (through Cloudflare)."""
    credentials = base64.b64encode(
        f"{CASTOPOD_USERNAME}:{CASTOPOD_PASSWORD}".encode()
    ).decode()
@@ -301,7 +328,7 @@ def create_episode(audio_path: str, metadata: dict, episode_number: int) -> dict
        "-F", f"episode_number={episode_number}",
    ]

-    result = subprocess.run(cmd, capture_output=True, text=True, timeout=300)
+    result = subprocess.run(cmd, capture_output=True, text=True, timeout=900)
    if result.returncode != 0:
        print(f"Error uploading: {result.stderr}")
        sys.exit(1)
@@ -322,6 +349,107 @@ def create_episode(audio_path: str, metadata: dict, episode_number: int) -> dict
    return episode


+def _create_episode_direct(audio_path: str, metadata: dict, episode_number: int,
+                           file_size: int, duration: int) -> dict:
+    """Create episode by uploading directly to NAS and inserting into DB."""
+    import time as _time
+    slug = re.sub(r'[^a-z0-9]+', '-', metadata["title"].lower()).strip('-')
+    timestamp = int(_time.time())
+    rand_hex = os.urandom(10).hex()
+    filename = f"{timestamp}_{rand_hex}.mp3"
+    file_key = f"podcasts/{PODCAST_HANDLE}/{filename}"
+    nas_tmp = f"/share/CACHEDEV1_DATA/tmp/{filename}"
+    guid = f"{CASTOPOD_URL}/@{PODCAST_HANDLE}/episodes/{slug}"
+    desc_md = metadata["description"]
+    desc_html = f"<p>{desc_md}</p>"
+    duration_json = json.dumps({"playtime_seconds": duration, "avdataoffset": 85})
+
+    # SCP audio to NAS
+    print("    Uploading audio to NAS...")
+    scp_cmd = ["scp", "-P", str(NAS_SSH_PORT), audio_path, f"{NAS_USER}@{NAS_HOST}:{nas_tmp}"]
+    result = subprocess.run(scp_cmd, capture_output=True, text=True, timeout=600)
+    if result.returncode != 0:
+        print(f"Error: SCP failed: {result.stderr}")
+        sys.exit(1)
+
+    # Docker cp into Castopod container
+    print("    Copying into Castopod container...")
+    media_path = f"/var/www/castopod/public/media/{file_key}"
+    cp_cmd = f'{DOCKER_PATH} cp {nas_tmp} {CASTOPOD_CONTAINER}:{media_path}'
+    success, output = run_ssh_command(cp_cmd, timeout=120)
+    if not success:
+        print(f"Error: docker cp failed: {output}")
+        sys.exit(1)
+    run_ssh_command(f'{DOCKER_PATH} exec {CASTOPOD_CONTAINER} chown www-data:www-data {media_path}')
+    run_ssh_command(f"rm -f {nas_tmp}")
+
+    # Build SQL and transfer via base64 to avoid shell escaping issues
+    print("    Inserting media and episode records...")
+
+    def _mysql_escape(s: str) -> str:
+        """Escape a string for MySQL single-quoted literals."""
+        return s.replace("\\", "\\\\").replace("'", "\\'")
+
+    title_esc = _mysql_escape(metadata["title"])
+    desc_md_esc = _mysql_escape(desc_md)
+    desc_html_esc = _mysql_escape(desc_html)
+    duration_json_esc = _mysql_escape(duration_json)
+
+    sql = (
+        f"INSERT INTO cp_media (file_key, file_size, file_mimetype, file_metadata, type, "
+        f"uploaded_by, updated_by, uploaded_at, updated_at) VALUES "
+        f"('{file_key}', {file_size}, 'audio/mpeg', '{duration_json_esc}', 'audio', 1, 1, NOW(), NOW());\n"
+        f"SET @audio_id = LAST_INSERT_ID();\n"
+        f"INSERT INTO cp_episodes (podcast_id, guid, title, slug, audio_id, "
+        f"description_markdown, description_html, parental_advisory, number, type, "
+        f"is_blocked, is_published_on_hubs, is_premium, created_by, updated_by, "
+        f"published_at, created_at, updated_at) VALUES "
+        f"(1, '{guid}', '{title_esc}', '{slug}', @audio_id, "
+        f"'{desc_md_esc}', '{desc_html_esc}', 'explicit', {episode_number}, 'full', "
+        f"0, 0, 0, 1, 1, NOW(), NOW(), NOW());\n"
+        f"SELECT LAST_INSERT_ID();\n"
+    )
+
+    # Write SQL to local temp file, SCP to NAS, docker cp into MariaDB
+    local_sql_path = "/tmp/_castopod_insert.sql"
+    nas_sql_path = "/share/CACHEDEV1_DATA/tmp/_castopod_insert.sql"
+    with open(local_sql_path, "w") as f:
+        f.write(sql)
+    scp_sql = ["scp", "-P", str(NAS_SSH_PORT), local_sql_path, f"{NAS_USER}@{NAS_HOST}:{nas_sql_path}"]
+    result = subprocess.run(scp_sql, capture_output=True, text=True, timeout=30)
+    os.remove(local_sql_path)
+    if result.returncode != 0:
+        print(f"Error: failed to SCP SQL file: {result.stderr}")
+        sys.exit(1)
+
+    # Copy SQL into MariaDB container and execute
+    run_ssh_command(f'{DOCKER_PATH} cp {nas_sql_path} {MARIADB_CONTAINER}:/tmp/_insert.sql')
+    exec_cmd = f'{DOCKER_PATH} exec {MARIADB_CONTAINER} sh -c "mysql -u {DB_USER} -p{DB_PASS} {DB_NAME} -N < /tmp/_insert.sql"'
+    success, output = run_ssh_command(exec_cmd, timeout=30)
+    run_ssh_command(f'rm -f {nas_sql_path}')
+    run_ssh_command(f'{DOCKER_PATH} exec {MARIADB_CONTAINER} rm -f /tmp/_insert.sql')
+
+    if not success:
+        print(f"Error: DB insert failed: {output}")
+        sys.exit(1)
+
+    episode_id = int(output.strip().split('\n')[-1])
+    # Get the audio media ID for CDN upload
+    audio_id_cmd = f'{DOCKER_PATH} exec {MARIADB_CONTAINER} mysql -u {DB_USER} -p{DB_PASS} {DB_NAME} -N -e "SELECT audio_id FROM cp_episodes WHERE id = {episode_id};"'
+    success, audio_id_str = run_ssh_command(audio_id_cmd)
+    audio_id = int(audio_id_str.strip()) if success else None
+    if audio_id:
+        print(f"    Audio media ID: {audio_id}")
+
+    # Clear cache
+    run_ssh_command(f'{DOCKER_PATH} exec {CASTOPOD_CONTAINER} php spark cache:clear')
+
+    print(f"    Created episode ID: {episode_id}")
+    print(f"    Slug: {slug}")
+
+    return {"id": episode_id, "slug": slug}
+
+
 def publish_episode(episode_id: int) -> dict:
    """Publish the episode."""
    print("[4/5] Publishing episode...")
@@ -451,7 +579,7 @@ def upload_to_bunny(local_path: str, remote_path: str, content_type: str = None)
        resp = requests.put(url, data=f, headers={
            "AccessKey": BUNNY_STORAGE_KEY,
            "Content-Type": content_type,
-        })
+        }, timeout=600)
    if resp.status_code == 201:
        return True
    print(f"    Warning: BunnyCDN upload failed ({resp.status_code}): {resp.text[:200]}")
@@ -461,7 +589,7 @@ def upload_to_bunny(local_path: str, remote_path: str, content_type: str = None)
 def download_from_castopod(file_key: str, local_path: str) -> bool:
    """Download a file from Castopod's container storage to local filesystem."""
    remote_filename = Path(file_key).name
-    remote_tmp = f"/tmp/castopod_{remote_filename}"
+    remote_tmp = f"/share/CACHEDEV1_DATA/tmp/castopod_{remote_filename}"
    cp_cmd = f'{DOCKER_PATH} cp {CASTOPOD_CONTAINER}:/var/www/castopod/public/media/{file_key} {remote_tmp}'
    success, _ = run_ssh_command(cp_cmd, timeout=120)
    if not success:
@@ -545,6 +673,174 @@ def add_episode_to_sitemap(slug: str):



+def generate_social_image(episode_number: int, description: str, output_path: str) -> str:
+    """Generate a social media image with cover art, episode number, and description."""
+    from PIL import Image, ImageDraw, ImageFont
+    import textwrap
+
+    COVER_ART = Path(__file__).parent / "website" / "images" / "cover.png"
+    SIZE = 1080
+
+    img = Image.open(COVER_ART).convert("RGBA")
+    img = img.resize((SIZE, SIZE), Image.LANCZOS)
+
+    # Dark gradient overlay on the bottom ~45%
+    gradient = Image.new("RGBA", (SIZE, SIZE), (0, 0, 0, 0))
+    draw_grad = ImageDraw.Draw(gradient)
+    gradient_start = int(SIZE * 0.50)
+    for y in range(gradient_start, SIZE):
+        progress = (y - gradient_start) / (SIZE - gradient_start)
+        alpha = int(210 * progress)
+        draw_grad.line([(0, y), (SIZE, y)], fill=(0, 0, 0, alpha))
+
+    img = Image.alpha_composite(img, gradient)
+    draw = ImageDraw.Draw(img)
+
+    # Fonts
+    try:
+        font_episode = ImageFont.truetype("/Library/Fonts/Montserrat-ExtraBold.ttf", 64)
+        font_desc = ImageFont.truetype("/Library/Fonts/Montserrat-Medium.ttf", 36)
+        font_url = ImageFont.truetype("/Library/Fonts/Montserrat-SemiBold.ttf", 28)
+    except OSError:
+        font_episode = ImageFont.truetype("/Library/Fonts/Arial Unicode.ttf", 64)
+        font_desc = ImageFont.truetype("/Library/Fonts/Arial Unicode.ttf", 36)
+        font_url = ImageFont.truetype("/Library/Fonts/Arial Unicode.ttf", 28)
+
+    margin = 60
+    max_width = SIZE - margin * 2
+
+    # Episode number
+    ep_text = f"EPISODE {episode_number}"
+    draw.text((margin, SIZE - 300), ep_text, font=font_episode, fill=(255, 200, 80))
+
+    # Description — word-wrap to fit
+    wrapped = textwrap.fill(description, width=45)
+    lines = wrapped.split("\n")[:4]  # max 4 lines
+    if len(wrapped.split("\n")) > 4:
+        lines[-1] = lines[-1][:lines[-1].rfind(" ")] + "..."
+    desc_text = "\n".join(lines)
+    draw.text((margin, SIZE - 220), desc_text, font=font_desc, fill=(255, 255, 255, 230),
+              spacing=8)
+
+    # Website URL — bottom right
+    url_text = "lukeattheroost.com"
+    bbox = draw.textbbox((0, 0), url_text, font=font_url)
+    url_width = bbox[2] - bbox[0]
+    draw.text((SIZE - margin - url_width, SIZE - 50), url_text, font=font_url,
+              fill=(255, 200, 80, 200))
+
+    img = img.convert("RGB")
+    img.save(output_path, "JPEG", quality=92)
+    print(f"    Social image saved: {output_path}")
+    return output_path
+
+
+def _get_postiz_token():
+    """Generate a JWT token for Postiz API authentication."""
+    import jwt
+    return jwt.encode(
+        {"id": POSTIZ_USER_ID, "email": "luke@macneilmediagroup.com",
+         "providerName": "LOCAL", "activated": True, "isSuperAdmin": False},
+        POSTIZ_JWT_SECRET, algorithm="HS256"
+    )
+
+
+def upload_image_to_postiz(image_path: str) -> dict | None:
+    """Upload an image to Postiz and return the media object."""
+    token = _get_postiz_token()
+    try:
+        with open(image_path, "rb") as f:
+            resp = requests.post(
+                f"{POSTIZ_URL}/api/media/upload-simple",
+                headers={"auth": token},
+                files={"file": ("social.jpg", f, "image/jpeg")},
+                timeout=30,
+            )
+        if resp.status_code in (200, 201):
+            media = resp.json()
+            print(f"    Uploaded image to Postiz (id: {media.get('id', 'unknown')})")
+            return media
+        else:
+            print(f"    Warning: Postiz image upload returned {resp.status_code}: {resp.text[:200]}")
+    except Exception as e:
+        print(f"    Warning: Postiz image upload failed: {e}")
+    return None
+
+
+def post_to_social(metadata: dict, episode_slug: str, image_path: str = None):
+    """Post episode announcement to all connected social channels via Postiz."""
+    print("[5.5/5] Posting to social media...")
+
+    token = _get_postiz_token()
+
+    # Upload image if provided
+    image_ids = []
+    if image_path:
+        media = upload_image_to_postiz(image_path)
+        if media and media.get("id"):
+            image_ids = [{"id": media["id"], "path": media.get("path", "")}]
+
+    episode_url = f"https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug={episode_slug}"
+    base_content = f"{metadata['title']}\n\n{metadata['description']}\n\n{episode_url}"
+
+    hashtags = "#podcast #LukeAtTheRoost #talkradio #callinshow #newepisode"
+    hashtag_platforms = {"instagram", "facebook", "bluesky", "mastodon", "nostr"}
+
+    # Platform-specific content length limits
+    PLATFORM_MAX_LENGTH = {"bluesky": 300}
+
+    # Post to each platform individually so one failure doesn't block others
+    posted = 0
+    for platform, intg_config in POSTIZ_INTEGRATIONS.items():
+        content = base_content
+        if platform in hashtag_platforms:
+            content += f"\n\n{hashtags}"
+
+        # Truncate for platforms with short limits
+        max_len = PLATFORM_MAX_LENGTH.get(platform)
+        if max_len and len(content) > max_len:
+            # Keep title + URL, truncate description
+            short = f"{metadata['title']}\n\n{episode_url}"
+            if platform in hashtag_platforms:
+                short += f"\n\n{hashtags}"
+            content = short[:max_len]
+
+        settings = {"post_type": "post"}
+        if "channel" in intg_config:
+            settings["channel"] = intg_config["channel"]
+
+        post = {
+            "integration": {"id": intg_config["id"]},
+            "value": [{"content": content, "image": image_ids}],
+            "settings": settings,
+        }
+
+        payload = {
+            "type": "now",
+            "shortLink": False,
+            "date": datetime.now(timezone.utc).strftime("%Y-%m-%dT%H:%M:%S.000Z"),
+            "tags": [],
+            "posts": [post],
+        }
+
+        try:
+            resp = requests.post(
+                f"{POSTIZ_URL}/api/posts",
+                headers={"auth": token, "Content-Type": "application/json"},
+                json=payload,
+                timeout=60,
+            )
+            if resp.status_code in (200, 201):
+                posted += 1
+                print(f"    Posted to {platform}")
+            else:
+                print(f"    Warning: {platform} failed ({resp.status_code}): {resp.text[:150]}")
+        except Exception as e:
+            print(f"    Warning: {platform} failed: {e}")
+
+    print(f"    Posted to {posted}/{len(POSTIZ_INTEGRATIONS)} channels")
+
+
 def get_next_episode_number() -> int:
    """Get the next episode number from Castopod."""
    headers = get_auth_header()
@@ -648,18 +944,25 @@ def main():
        return

    # Step 3: Create episode
-    episode = create_episode(str(audio_path), metadata, episode_number)
+    direct_upload = os.path.getsize(str(audio_path)) > CLOUDFLARE_UPLOAD_LIMIT
+    episode = create_episode(str(audio_path), metadata, episode_number, duration=transcript["duration"])

    # Step 3.5: Upload to BunnyCDN
    print("[3.5/5] Uploading to BunnyCDN...")
    uploaded_keys = set()

-    # Audio: download Castopod's copy (ensures byte-exact match with RSS metadata)
+    # Audio: query file_key from DB, then upload to CDN
    ep_id = episode["id"]
    audio_media_cmd = f'{DOCKER_PATH} exec {MARIADB_CONTAINER} mysql -u {DB_USER} -p{DB_PASS} {DB_NAME} -N -e "SELECT m.file_key FROM cp_media m JOIN cp_episodes e ON e.audio_id = m.id WHERE e.id = {ep_id};"'
    success, audio_file_key = run_ssh_command(audio_media_cmd)
    if success and audio_file_key:
        audio_file_key = audio_file_key.strip()
+        if direct_upload:
+            # Direct upload: we have the original file locally, upload straight to CDN
+            print(f"    Uploading audio to BunnyCDN")
+            upload_to_bunny(str(audio_path), f"media/{audio_file_key}", "audio/mpeg")
+        else:
+            # API upload: download Castopod's copy (ensures byte-exact match with RSS metadata)
            with tempfile.NamedTemporaryFile(suffix=".mp3", delete=False) as tmp:
                tmp_audio = tmp.name
            try:
@@ -688,7 +991,6 @@ def main():
    upload_to_bunny(str(transcript_path), f"transcripts/{episode['slug']}.txt", "text/plain")

    # Copy transcript to website dir for Cloudflare Pages
-    import shutil
    website_transcript_dir = Path(__file__).parent / "website" / "transcripts"
    website_transcript_dir.mkdir(exist_ok=True)
    website_transcript_path = website_transcript_dir / f"{episode['slug']}.txt"
@@ -698,8 +1000,16 @@ def main():
    # Add to sitemap
    add_episode_to_sitemap(episode["slug"])

-    # Step 4: Publish
-    episode = publish_episode(episode["id"])
+    # Step 4: Publish via API (triggers RSS rebuild, federation, etc.)
+    try:
+        published = publish_episode(episode["id"])
+        if "slug" in published:
+            episode = published
+    except SystemExit:
+        if direct_upload:
+            print("    Warning: Publish API failed, but episode is in DB with published_at set")
+        else:
+            raise

    # Step 4.5: Upload chapters via SSH
    chapters_uploaded = upload_chapters_to_castopod(
@@ -712,8 +1022,26 @@ def main():
    print("    Syncing episode media to CDN...")
    sync_episode_media_to_bunny(episode["id"], uploaded_keys)

-    # Step 5: Summary
-    print("\n[5/5] Done!")
+    # Step 5: Deploy website (transcript + sitemap must be live before social links go out)
+    print("[5/5] Deploying website...")
+    project_dir = Path(__file__).parent
+    deploy_result = subprocess.run(
+        ["npx", "wrangler", "pages", "deploy", "website/",
+         "--project-name=lukeattheroost", "--branch=main", "--commit-dirty=true"],
+        capture_output=True, text=True, cwd=project_dir, timeout=120
+    )
+    if deploy_result.returncode == 0:
+        print("    Website deployed")
+    else:
+        print(f"    Warning: Website deploy failed: {deploy_result.stderr[:200]}")
+
+    # Step 5.5: Generate social image and post
+    social_image_path = str(audio_path.with_suffix(".social.jpg"))
+    generate_social_image(episode_number, metadata["description"], social_image_path)
+    post_to_social(metadata, episode["slug"], social_image_path)
+
+    # Step 6: Summary
+    print("\n[6/6] Done!")
    print("=" * 50)
    print(f"Episode URL: {CASTOPOD_URL}/@{PODCAST_HANDLE}/episodes/{episode['slug']}")
    print(f"RSS Feed: {CASTOPOD_URL}/@{PODCAST_HANDLE}/feed.xml")
--- a/website/css/style.css
+++ b/website/css/style.css
@@ -181,22 +181,22 @@ a:hover {
  color: var(--text);
 }

-/* Subscribe buttons */
+/* Subscribe buttons — primary listen platforms */
 .subscribe-row {
  display: flex;
  flex-wrap: wrap;
  justify-content: center;
-  gap: 0.75rem;
+  gap: 0.6rem;
  margin-top: 1.5rem;
 }

 .subscribe-btn {
  display: inline-flex;
  align-items: center;
-  gap: 0.5rem;
-  padding: 0.6rem 1.25rem;
+  gap: 0.45rem;
+  padding: 0.55rem 1.1rem;
  border-radius: 50px;
-  font-size: 0.9rem;
+  font-size: 0.85rem;
  font-weight: 600;
  color: #fff;
  transition: opacity 0.2s, transform 0.2s;
@@ -209,17 +209,47 @@ a:hover {
 }

 .subscribe-btn svg {
-  width: 18px;
-  height: 18px;
+  width: 16px;
+  height: 16px;
  flex-shrink: 0;
 }

-.btn-hiw { background: var(--accent); }
 .btn-spotify { background: #1DB954; }
 .btn-youtube { background: #FF0000; }
 .btn-apple { background: #A033FF; }
-.btn-discord { background: #5865F2; }
-.btn-rss { background: #f26522; }
+
+/* Secondary links — How It Works, Discord, RSS */
+.secondary-links {
+  display: flex;
+  flex-wrap: wrap;
+  justify-content: center;
+  gap: 1.25rem;
+  margin-top: 0.75rem;
+}
+
+.secondary-link {
+  display: inline-flex;
+  align-items: center;
+  gap: 0.35rem;
+  font-size: 0.85rem;
+  font-weight: 600;
+  color: var(--accent);
+  border: 1px solid var(--accent);
+  border-radius: 50px;
+  padding: 0.3rem 0.85rem;
+  transition: background 0.2s, color 0.2s;
+}
+
+.secondary-link:hover {
+  background: var(--accent);
+  color: #fff;
+}
+
+.secondary-link svg {
+  width: 14px;
+  height: 14px;
+  flex-shrink: 0;
+}

 /* Episodes */
 .episodes-section {
@@ -1166,6 +1196,10 @@ a:hover {
    justify-content: flex-start;
  }

+  .secondary-links {
+    justify-content: flex-start;
+  }
+
  .episodes-section {
    padding: 2rem 2rem 3rem;
  }
--- a/website/episode.html
+++ b/website/episode.html
@@ -21,7 +21,10 @@
  <meta name="twitter:image" content="https://cdn.lukeattheroost.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/cover_feed.png?v=3">

  <!-- Favicon -->
+  <link rel="icon" href="favicon.ico" sizes="48x48">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/svg+xml" href="favicon.svg">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="192x192" href="favicon-192.png">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="48x48" href="favicon-48.png">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="32x32" href="favicon-32.png">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="16x16" href="favicon-16.png">
  <link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="apple-touch-icon.png">
@@ -89,6 +92,10 @@
      <a href="/how-it-works">How It Works</a>
      <a href="/stats">Stats</a>
      <a href="https://discord.gg/5CnQZxDM" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Discord</a>
+      <a href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588191627949" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Facebook</a>
+      <a href="https://x.com/lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="noopener">X</a>
+      <a href="https://bsky.app/profile/lukeattheroost.bsky.social" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bluesky</a>
+      <a href="https://mastodon.macneilmediagroup.com/@lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="me noopener">Mastodon</a>
      <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZrpMigG1fo0CCN7F4YmuF?si=f990713adce84ba4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Spotify</a>
      <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryGLifMBTY&list=PLGq4uZyNV1yYH_rcitTTPVysPbC6-7pe-" target="_blank" rel="noopener">YouTube</a>
      <a href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml" target="_blank" rel="noopener">RSS</a>
@@ -102,7 +109,7 @@
      </div>
    </div>
    <p class="footer-contact">Sales &amp; Collaboration: <a href="mailto:luke@macneilmediagroup.com">luke@macneilmediagroup.com</a></p>
-    <p>&copy; 2026 Luke at the Roost</p>
+    <p>&copy; 2026 Luke at the Roost &middot; <a href="/privacy">Privacy Policy</a></p>
  </footer>

  <!-- Sticky Audio Player -->
--- a/website/favicon-192.png
+++ b/website/favicon-192.png
--- a/website/favicon-48.png
+++ b/website/favicon-48.png
--- a/website/favicon.ico
+++ b/website/favicon.ico
--- a/website/how-it-works.html
+++ b/website/how-it-works.html
@@ -19,7 +19,10 @@
  <meta name="twitter:description" content="The tech behind a one-of-a-kind AI radio show: real-time caller generation, multi-stem recording, automated post-production, and global CDN distribution.">
  <meta name="twitter:image" content="https://cdn.lukeattheroost.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/cover_feed.png?v=3">

+  <link rel="icon" href="favicon.ico" sizes="48x48">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/svg+xml" href="favicon.svg">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="192x192" href="favicon-192.png">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="48x48" href="favicon-48.png">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="32x32" href="favicon-32.png">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="16x16" href="favicon-16.png">
  <link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="apple-touch-icon.png">
@@ -501,6 +504,10 @@
      <a href="/">Home</a>
      <a href="/stats">Stats</a>
      <a href="https://discord.gg/5CnQZxDM" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Discord</a>
+      <a href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588191627949" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Facebook</a>
+      <a href="https://x.com/lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="noopener">X</a>
+      <a href="https://bsky.app/profile/lukeattheroost.bsky.social" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bluesky</a>
+      <a href="https://mastodon.macneilmediagroup.com/@lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="me noopener">Mastodon</a>
      <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZrpMigG1fo0CCN7F4YmuF?si=f990713adce84ba4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Spotify</a>
      <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryGLifMBTY&list=PLGq4uZyNV1yYH_rcitTTPVysPbC6-7pe-" target="_blank" rel="noopener">YouTube</a>
      <a href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml" target="_blank" rel="noopener">RSS</a>
@@ -514,7 +521,7 @@
      </div>
    </div>
    <p class="footer-contact">Sales &amp; Collaboration: <a href="mailto:luke@macneilmediagroup.com">luke@macneilmediagroup.com</a></p>
-    <p>&copy; 2026 Luke at the Roost</p>
+    <p>&copy; 2026 Luke at the Roost &middot; <a href="/privacy">Privacy Policy</a></p>
  </footer>

 </body>
--- a/website/index.html
+++ b/website/index.html
@@ -21,7 +21,10 @@
  <meta name="twitter:image" content="https://cdn.lukeattheroost.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/cover_feed.png?v=3">

  <!-- Favicon -->
+  <link rel="icon" href="favicon.ico" sizes="48x48">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/svg+xml" href="favicon.svg">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="192x192" href="favicon-192.png">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="48x48" href="favicon-48.png">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="32x32" href="favicon-32.png">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="16x16" href="favicon-16.png">
  <link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="apple-touch-icon.png">
@@ -91,27 +94,29 @@
          <span class="phone-digits">(208-439-5853)</span>
        </div>
        <div class="subscribe-row">
-          <a href="/how-it-works" class="subscribe-btn btn-hiw">
-            <svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M12 2C6.48 2 2 6.48 2 12s4.48 10 10 10 10-4.48 10-10S17.52 2 12 2zm1 17h-2v-2h2v2zm2.07-7.75l-.9.92C13.45 12.9 13 13.5 13 15h-2v-.5c0-1.1.45-2.1 1.17-2.83l1.24-1.26c.37-.36.59-.86.59-1.41 0-1.1-.9-2-2-2s-2 .9-2 2H8c0-2.21 1.79-4 4-4s4 1.79 4 4c0 .88-.36 1.68-.93 2.25z"/></svg>
-            How It Works
-          </a>
          <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZrpMigG1fo0CCN7F4YmuF?si=f990713adce84ba4" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="subscribe-btn btn-spotify">
            <svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M12 0C5.4 0 0 5.4 0 12s5.4 12 12 12 12-5.4 12-12S18.66 0 12 0zm5.521 17.34c-.24.359-.66.48-1.021.24-2.82-1.74-6.36-2.101-10.561-1.141-.418.122-.779-.179-.899-.539-.12-.421.18-.78.54-.9 4.56-1.021 8.52-.6 11.64 1.32.42.18.479.659.301 1.02zm1.44-3.3c-.301.42-.841.6-1.262.3-3.239-1.98-8.159-2.58-11.939-1.38-.479.12-1.02-.12-1.14-.6-.12-.48.12-1.021.6-1.141C9.6 9.9 15 10.561 18.72 12.84c.361.181.54.78.241 1.2zm.12-3.36C15.24 8.4 8.82 8.16 5.16 9.301c-.6.179-1.2-.181-1.38-.721-.18-.601.18-1.2.72-1.381 4.26-1.26 11.28-1.02 15.721 1.621.539.3.719 1.02.419 1.56-.299.421-1.02.599-1.559.3z"/></svg>
            Spotify
          </a>
-          <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryGLifMBTY&list=PLGq4uZyNV1yYH_rcitTTPVysPbC6-7pe-" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="subscribe-btn btn-youtube">
-            <svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M23.498 6.186a3.016 3.016 0 0 0-2.122-2.136C19.505 3.545 12 3.545 12 3.545s-7.505 0-9.377.505A3.017 3.017 0 0 0 .502 6.186C0 8.07 0 12 0 12s0 3.93.502 5.814a3.016 3.016 0 0 0 2.122 2.136c1.871.505 9.376.505 9.376.505s7.505 0 9.377-.505a3.015 3.015 0 0 0 2.122-2.136C24 15.93 24 12 24 12s0-3.93-.502-5.814zM9.545 15.568V8.432L15.818 12l-6.273 3.568z"/></svg>
-            YouTube
-          </a>
          <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-at-the-roost/id1875205848" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="subscribe-btn btn-apple">
            <svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M5.34 0A5.328 5.328 0 0 0 0 5.34v13.32A5.328 5.328 0 0 0 5.34 24h13.32A5.328 5.328 0 0 0 24 18.66V5.34A5.328 5.328 0 0 0 18.66 0zm6.525 2.568c2.336 0 4.448.902 4.448 3.545 0 1.497-.89 2.67-1.916 3.545-.663.566-.795 .84-.795 1.347 0 .6.397 1.173.894 1.722 1.417 1.564 1.96 2.853 1.96 4.448 0 3.063-2.673 4.257-5.165 4.257-.315 0-.658-.02-.994-.063-1.523-.195-2.86-.9-3.632-.9-.82 0-1.98.623-3.377.87A5.715 5.715 0 0 1 3.15 21.4c-1.27 0-2.1-.96-2.1-2.663 0-1.2.6-2.7 1.845-4.29.63-.81 1.62-1.83 2.91-2.31-.06-.6-.09-1.14-.09-1.62 0-4.28 2.76-7.95 6.15-7.95z"/></svg>
            Apple
          </a>
-          <a href="https://discord.gg/5CnQZxDM" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="subscribe-btn btn-discord">
+          <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryGLifMBTY&list=PLGq4uZyNV1yYH_rcitTTPVysPbC6-7pe-" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="subscribe-btn btn-youtube">
+            <svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M23.498 6.186a3.016 3.016 0 0 0-2.122-2.136C19.505 3.545 12 3.545 12 3.545s-7.505 0-9.377.505A3.017 3.017 0 0 0 .502 6.186C0 8.07 0 12 0 12s0 3.93.502 5.814a3.016 3.016 0 0 0 2.122 2.136c1.871.505 9.376.505 9.376.505s7.505 0 9.377-.505a3.015 3.015 0 0 0 2.122-2.136C24 15.93 24 12 24 12s0-3.93-.502-5.814zM9.545 15.568V8.432L15.818 12l-6.273 3.568z"/></svg>
+            YouTube
+          </a>
+        </div>
+        <div class="secondary-links">
+          <a href="/how-it-works" class="secondary-link">
+            <svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M12 2C6.48 2 2 6.48 2 12s4.48 10 10 10 10-4.48 10-10S17.52 2 12 2zm1 17h-2v-2h2v2zm2.07-7.75l-.9.92C13.45 12.9 13 13.5 13 15h-2v-.5c0-1.1.45-2.1 1.17-2.83l1.24-1.26c.37-.36.59-.86.59-1.41 0-1.1-.9-2-2-2s-2 .9-2 2H8c0-2.21 1.79-4 4-4s4 1.79 4 4c0 .88-.36 1.68-.93 2.25z"/></svg>
+            How It Works
+          </a>
+          <a href="https://discord.gg/5CnQZxDM" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="secondary-link">
            <svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M20.317 4.37a19.791 19.791 0 0 0-4.885-1.515.074.074 0 0 0-.079.037c-.21.375-.444.864-.608 1.25a18.27 18.27 0 0 0-5.487 0 12.64 12.64 0 0 0-.617-1.25.077.077 0 0 0-.079-.037A19.736 19.736 0 0 0 3.677 4.37a.07.07 0 0 0-.032.027C.533 9.046-.32 13.58.099 18.057a.082.082 0 0 0 .031.057 19.9 19.9 0 0 0 5.993 3.03.078.078 0 0 0 .084-.028c.462-.63.874-1.295 1.226-1.994a.076.076 0 0 0-.041-.106 13.107 13.107 0 0 1-1.872-.892.077.077 0 0 1-.008-.128 10.2 10.2 0 0 0 .372-.292.074.074 0 0 1 .077-.01c3.928 1.793 8.18 1.793 12.062 0a.074.074 0 0 1 .078.01c.12.098.246.198.373.292a.077.077 0 0 1-.006.127 12.299 12.299 0 0 1-1.873.892.077.077 0 0 0-.041.107c.36.698.772 1.362 1.225 1.993a.076.076 0 0 0 .084.028 19.839 19.839 0 0 0 6.002-3.03.077.077 0 0 0 .032-.054c.5-5.177-.838-9.674-3.549-13.66a.061.061 0 0 0-.031-.03zM8.02 15.33c-1.183 0-2.157-1.085-2.157-2.419 0-1.333.956-2.419 2.157-2.419 1.21 0 2.176 1.095 2.157 2.42 0 1.333-.956 2.418-2.157 2.418zm7.975 0c-1.183 0-2.157-1.085-2.157-2.419 0-1.333.956-2.419 2.157-2.419 1.21 0 2.176 1.095 2.157 2.42 0 1.333-.947 2.418-2.157 2.418z"/></svg>
            Discord
          </a>
-          <a href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="subscribe-btn btn-rss">
+          <a href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="secondary-link">
            <svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M6.503 20.752c0 1.794-1.456 3.248-3.251 3.248S0 22.546 0 20.752s1.456-3.248 3.252-3.248 3.251 1.454 3.251 3.248zM.002 9.473v4.594c5.508.163 9.929 4.584 10.092 10.091h4.594C14.524 16.21 7.849 9.636.002 9.473zM.006 0v4.604C10.81 4.77 19.23 13.19 19.396 24h4.604C23.834 10.952 13.054.166.006 0z"/></svg>
            RSS
          </a>
@@ -208,6 +213,10 @@
      <a href="/how-it-works">How It Works</a>
      <a href="/stats">Stats</a>
      <a href="https://discord.gg/5CnQZxDM" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Discord</a>
+      <a href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588191627949" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Facebook</a>
+      <a href="https://x.com/lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="noopener">X</a>
+      <a href="https://bsky.app/profile/lukeattheroost.bsky.social" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bluesky</a>
+      <a href="https://mastodon.macneilmediagroup.com/@lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="me noopener">Mastodon</a>
      <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZrpMigG1fo0CCN7F4YmuF?si=f990713adce84ba4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Spotify</a>
      <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryGLifMBTY&list=PLGq4uZyNV1yYH_rcitTTPVysPbC6-7pe-" target="_blank" rel="noopener">YouTube</a>
      <a href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml" target="_blank" rel="noopener">RSS</a>
@@ -221,7 +230,7 @@
      </div>
    </div>
    <p class="footer-contact">Sales &amp; Collaboration: <a href="mailto:luke@macneilmediagroup.com">luke@macneilmediagroup.com</a></p>
-    <p>&copy; 2026 Luke at the Roost</p>
+    <p>&copy; 2026 Luke at the Roost &middot; <a href="/privacy">Privacy Policy</a></p>
  </footer>

  <!-- Sticky Audio Player -->
--- a/website/privacy.html
+++ b/website/privacy.html
@@ -0,0 +1,113 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html lang="en">
+<head>
+  <meta charset="UTF-8">
+  <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
+  <title>Privacy Policy — Luke at the Roost</title>
+  <meta name="description" content="Privacy policy for Luke at the Roost podcast and website.">
+  <meta name="theme-color" content="#1a1209">
+  <link rel="canonical" href="https://lukeattheroost.com/privacy">
+
+  <link rel="icon" href="favicon.ico" sizes="48x48">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/svg+xml" href="favicon.svg">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="192x192" href="favicon-192.png">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="48x48" href="favicon-48.png">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="32x32" href="favicon-32.png">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="16x16" href="favicon-16.png">
+  <link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="apple-touch-icon.png">
+
+  <link rel="stylesheet" href="css/style.css?v=2">
+</head>
+<body>
+
+  <!-- Nav -->
+  <nav class="page-nav">
+    <a href="/" class="nav-home">Luke at the Roost</a>
+  </nav>
+
+  <!-- Page Header -->
+  <section class="page-header">
+    <h1>Privacy Policy</h1>
+    <p class="page-subtitle">Last updated: February 12, 2026</p>
+  </section>
+
+  <section class="hiw-section" style="max-width: 740px; margin: 0 auto;">
+    <div style="line-height: 1.7; color: var(--text-secondary, #b8a88a);">
+
+      <h2>Who We Are</h2>
+      <p>Luke at the Roost is a podcast and website operated by MacNeil Media Group. Our website is <strong>lukeattheroost.com</strong>.</p>
+
+      <h2>Information We Collect</h2>
+      <h3>Website Visitors</h3>
+      <p>We use Cloudflare Web Analytics, which collects anonymous, aggregated usage data (page views, referrers, country). It does not use cookies, does not track individual users, and does not collect personal information.</p>
+
+      <h3>Podcast Listeners</h3>
+      <p>When you download or stream an episode, standard server logs may record your IP address and user agent. We use this data only for aggregate download statistics. We do not sell or share this data with third parties.</p>
+
+      <h3>Phone Callers</h3>
+      <p>If you call in to the show at 208-439-LUKE, your voice may be recorded and included in a published episode. By calling in, you consent to being recorded and broadcast. We do not collect or store your phone number beyond what is necessary for call routing.</p>
+
+      <h3>Social Media</h3>
+      <p>We maintain a presence on platforms including Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, and Discord. When you interact with us on these platforms, their respective privacy policies apply. We may use third-party tools to schedule and manage social media posts.</p>
+
+      <h2>Cookies</h2>
+      <p>Our website does not set any first-party cookies. Third-party services (such as embedded podcast players) may set their own cookies according to their policies.</p>
+
+      <h2>Third-Party Services</h2>
+      <p>We use the following third-party services:</p>
+      <ul style="margin: 0.5em 0 1em 1.5em;">
+        <li><strong>Cloudflare</strong> — CDN, DNS, and analytics</li>
+        <li><strong>BunnyCDN</strong> — Audio file delivery</li>
+        <li><strong>Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube</strong> — Podcast distribution</li>
+        <li><strong>Discord</strong> — Community chat</li>
+        <li><strong>Facebook</strong> — Social media page</li>
+      </ul>
+      <p>Each service has its own privacy policy governing how they handle your data.</p>
+
+      <h2>Data Retention</h2>
+      <p>Aggregate analytics data is retained indefinitely. Server logs are retained for up to 90 days. Published episodes and transcripts are retained indefinitely as part of the public podcast archive.</p>
+
+      <h2>Children's Privacy</h2>
+      <p>Our content is rated explicit and is not directed at children under 13. We do not knowingly collect personal information from children.</p>
+
+      <h2>Your Rights</h2>
+      <p>If you have questions about your data or want to request removal of your voice from a published episode, contact us at <a href="mailto:luke@macneilmediagroup.com" style="color: var(--accent, #d4a44a);">luke@macneilmediagroup.com</a>.</p>
+
+      <h2>Changes</h2>
+      <p>We may update this policy from time to time. Changes will be posted on this page with an updated date.</p>
+
+      <h2>Contact</h2>
+      <p>MacNeil Media Group<br>
+      Email: <a href="mailto:luke@macneilmediagroup.com" style="color: var(--accent, #d4a44a);">luke@macneilmediagroup.com</a></p>
+
+    </div>
+  </section>
+
+  <!-- Footer -->
+  <footer class="footer">
+    <div class="footer-links">
+      <a href="/">Home</a>
+      <a href="/stats">Stats</a>
+      <a href="https://discord.gg/5CnQZxDM" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Discord</a>
+      <a href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588191627949" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Facebook</a>
+      <a href="https://x.com/lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="noopener">X</a>
+      <a href="https://bsky.app/profile/lukeattheroost.bsky.social" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bluesky</a>
+      <a href="https://mastodon.macneilmediagroup.com/@lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="me noopener">Mastodon</a>
+      <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZrpMigG1fo0CCN7F4YmuF?si=f990713adce84ba4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Spotify</a>
+      <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryGLifMBTY&list=PLGq4uZyNV1yYH_rcitTTPVysPbC6-7pe-" target="_blank" rel="noopener">YouTube</a>
+      <a href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml" target="_blank" rel="noopener">RSS</a>
+    </div>
+    <div class="footer-projects">
+      <span class="footer-projects-label">More from Luke</span>
+      <div class="footer-projects-links">
+        <a href="https://macneilmediagroup.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">MacNeil Media Group</a>
+        <a href="https://prints.macneilmediagroup.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Photography Prints</a>
+        <a href="https://youtube.com/lukemacneil" target="_blank" rel="noopener">YouTube</a>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p class="footer-contact">Sales &amp; Collaboration: <a href="mailto:luke@macneilmediagroup.com">luke@macneilmediagroup.com</a></p>
+    <p>&copy; 2026 Luke at the Roost &middot; <a href="/privacy">Privacy Policy</a></p>
+  </footer>
+
+</body>
+</html>
--- a/website/sitemap.xml
+++ b/website/sitemap.xml
@@ -2,22 +2,40 @@
 <urlset xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9">
  <url>
    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com</loc>
-    <lastmod>2026-02-11</lastmod>
+    <lastmod>2026-02-15</lastmod>
    <changefreq>weekly</changefreq>
    <priority>1.0</priority>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/how-it-works</loc>
-    <lastmod>2026-02-11</lastmod>
+    <lastmod>2026-02-15</lastmod>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.8</priority>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/stats</loc>
-    <lastmod>2026-02-11</lastmod>
+    <lastmod>2026-02-15</lastmod>
    <changefreq>daily</changefreq>
    <priority>0.6</priority>
  </url>
+  <url>
+    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/privacy</loc>
+    <lastmod>2026-02-15</lastmod>
+    <changefreq>yearly</changefreq>
+    <priority>0.3</priority>
+  </url>
+  <url>
+    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=episode-10-unexpected-windfalls-and-neighborhood-woes</loc>
+    <lastmod>2026-02-12</lastmod>
+    <changefreq>never</changefreq>
+    <priority>0.7</priority>
+  </url>
+  <url>
+    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=episode-9-spilled-juice-and-ghostly-visions</loc>
+    <lastmod>2026-02-11</lastmod>
+    <changefreq>never</changefreq>
+    <priority>0.7</priority>
+  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=episode-8-real-news-or-fake-news</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-02-11</lastmod>
@@ -67,8 +85,14 @@
    <priority>0.7</priority>
  </url>
  <url>
-    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=episode-9-spilled-juice-and-ghostly-visions</loc>
-    <lastmod>2026-02-11</lastmod>
+    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=episode-11-quantum-mechanics-and-the-fate-of-tv</loc>
+    <lastmod>2026-02-13</lastmod>
+    <changefreq>never</changefreq>
+    <priority>0.7</priority>
+  </url>
+  <url>
+    <loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=episode-12-love-lies-and-loyalty</loc>
+    <lastmod>2026-02-14</lastmod>
    <changefreq>never</changefreq>
    <priority>0.7</priority>
  </url>
--- a/website/stats.html
+++ b/website/stats.html
@@ -19,7 +19,10 @@
  <meta name="twitter:description" content="Podcast stats for Luke at the Roost — total downloads, unique listeners, Apple Podcasts reviews, YouTube views and subscribers, updated daily.">
  <meta name="twitter:image" content="https://cdn.lukeattheroost.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/cover_feed.png?v=3">

+  <link rel="icon" href="favicon.ico" sizes="48x48">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/svg+xml" href="favicon.svg">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="192x192" href="favicon-192.png">
+  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="48x48" href="favicon-48.png">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="32x32" href="favicon-32.png">
  <link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="16x16" href="favicon-16.png">
  <link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="apple-touch-icon.png">
@@ -58,6 +61,10 @@
      <a href="/">Home</a>
      <a href="/how-it-works">How It Works</a>
      <a href="https://discord.gg/5CnQZxDM" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Discord</a>
+      <a href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588191627949" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Facebook</a>
+      <a href="https://x.com/lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="noopener">X</a>
+      <a href="https://bsky.app/profile/lukeattheroost.bsky.social" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bluesky</a>
+      <a href="https://mastodon.macneilmediagroup.com/@lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="me noopener">Mastodon</a>
      <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZrpMigG1fo0CCN7F4YmuF?si=f990713adce84ba4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Spotify</a>
      <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryGLifMBTY&list=PLGq4uZyNV1yYH_rcitTTPVysPbC6-7pe-" target="_blank" rel="noopener">YouTube</a>
      <a href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml" target="_blank" rel="noopener">RSS</a>
@@ -71,7 +78,7 @@
      </div>
    </div>
    <p class="footer-contact">Sales &amp; Collaboration: <a href="mailto:luke@macneilmediagroup.com">luke@macneilmediagroup.com</a></p>
-    <p>&copy; 2026 Luke at the Roost</p>
+    <p>&copy; 2026 Luke at the Roost &middot; <a href="/privacy">Privacy Policy</a></p>
  </footer>

  <script>
--- a/website/transcripts/episode-10-unexpected-windfalls-and-neighborhood-woes.txt
+++ b/website/transcripts/episode-10-unexpected-windfalls-and-neighborhood-woes.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,329 @@
+LUKE: Alright, welcome back to Luke at the Roost. This is the Colin radio show where you call in and tell me what's on your mind. My name is Luke, I'm your host. If you'd like to call in, our number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luke. Let's get the show started and our first caller today is going to be Slim. Slim, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about today?
+
+SLIM: Hey Luke, yeah thanks for taking my call. So look, I won 50 grand on a scratch ticket on Monday and I haven't told a single person yet. Not my wife, not the church, nobody, and it's eating me alive because I'm a youth pastor, right? Right?
+
+LUKE: Wow, congratulations on your 50 grand win, what are you going to do with the money?
+
+SLIM: Well, that's the whole thing, Luke. I don't know. I mean, part of me wants to just pay off the truck, maybe fix the AC at the church because it's been broken since September and the board keeps saying there's no money.
+
+LUKE: Well, here's a question for you. If you're a pastor and you work at a church and you win the lottery, do you have to pay tax on that lottery winning?
+
+SLIM: Oh, yeah, absolutely. The state already took their cut when I claimed it, walked out with about 37 after taxes.
+
+LUKE: Oh, you've already got the money and you haven't spent any of it yet?
+
+SLIM: Nope, it's just sitting in the bank like a damn time bomb. I keep thinking about how my dad used to say, money's like a deer. You spook it, it's gone. And I'm standing there with a rifle full of buckshot, trying not to move.
+
+LUKE: Wow, that's one of the most confusing analogies I've ever heard in my life. But congratulations to you for your win. I can't imagine it's going to cost you 37 grand to fix the AC in your church.
+
+SLIM: No, you're right. Probably three, four thousand tops, but see, that's where it gets tricky. The second people find out I have this money, it's going to be slim. Can you help with the new himmels or slim? My sister's kid needs braces. I've been doing this job for 12 years, Luke.
+
+LUKE: And what is your lord and savior say to do with the money?
+
+SLIM: Man, that's the question I've been wrestling with all week. I keep going back to the parable of the talents. You know, the guy who buried his money in the ground got reamed for it. But then there's also, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing when it comes to giving. I've been praying on it every night this week, honestly.
+
+LUKE: Well, I think you're probably going to come to the right, uh, right decision and do the right thing with the money. Actually, you know what, I don't know if there is a right thing to do with the money. It wasn't there before. You wanted in the lottery. Good for you. Do you play the lottery a lot? How much are you, were you down to win this 50 grand?
+
+SLIM: First ticket I ever bought actually. Yeah, sure. I was at the circle K getting gas and just, I don't know, impulse five bucks. My wife doesn't even know. She thinks gambling's a sin. And honestly, I kind of agreed with her until I scratched that thing off in the parking lot and nearly dropped my coffee.
+
+LUKE: Well, you know, what the man with no sin throws stones first or whatever. Uh, good for you. Good for your congregation. I hope that the money goes to good use. And, um, and yeah, I don't think you have to feel bad about winning. Just do something good with the money and it's all good.
+
+SLIM: Yeah, you're right. I appreciate that, Luke. I think I've been making this harder than it needs to be.
+
+LUKE: For sure. And speaking of money, I got a question for you. How about you tell us about something that you bought once that you regret? Uh, something you spent money on and wished later that you hadn't.
+
+SLIM: Oh, man. That's easy. About eight years ago, I bought this used jet ski off some guy in Lord'sburg. Thought I'd take it out to Elephant Butte. You know, make a whole thing of it with the youth group.
+
+LUKE: You bought a, uh, Lord'sburg jet ski. How did that work out?
+
+SLIM: No, no, Lord'sburg. It's a town about an hour west of here. Oh, yeah. But yeah, the jet ski paid $2,200 bucks for it. Drove it up to the lake exactly one time. Thing broke down in the middle of the water. Had to get towed back to shore by some guy on a pontoon boat.
+
+LUKE: Hey, well, now I guess the good news is you get 37 grand.
+
+SLIM: You know, the thing's been sitting under a tarp behind my garage for seven years. I think my wife would actually divorce me if I put another dime into it. She brings it up every time I want to buy anything. Remember the jet ski slim? It's like my personal scarlet letter back there.
+
+LUKE: All right. Thanks for the call slim and, uh, congratulations on your big lottery win. Uh, just don't take it back to the casino and you should be all right. Next up on the line, we have, uh, Sandy. Sandy, welcome to the show. What's what's on your mind today, Sandy?
+
+SANDY: Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I got into it with my neighbor tonight, like physically got into it. And I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I need to call the cops or if that's just going to make everything worse. We've been going back and forth for months now, but this time she actually shoved me in my own driveway.
+
+LUKE: shoved you how just to like a little pusher where you actually injured in some way, where you did you fear for your life in this altercation?
+
+SANDY: No, I mean, I didn't fall or anything, but it wasn't like a little tap either. She put both hands on my shoulders and pushed me back hard enough that I stumbled. The thing is I'm honestly more pissed off than scared, you know? But that's what's got me worried because I shoved her right back and now I'm thinking if I call the police, she's going to say I started it. This whole thing kicked off because her dog keeps shitting in my yard and she refuses to pick it up.
+
+LUKE: Okay, so the dog shits in your yard, she's not picking it up and, uh, and how does that turn into an altercation? You obviously confronted her about the dog shitting situation.
+
+SANDY: Yeah, so tonight I'm coming home from a birth. I was up for like 16 hours and I step right in a fresh pile getting out of my car. I lost it, walked straight over to her place and knocked on the door with the bottom of my shoe still covered in it.
+
+LUKE: I should have kicked her in the face.
+
+SANDY: Ha, I mean, I was tempted, but no, I just told her this is the third time this week and she needs to keep her damn dog on her own property.
+
+LUKE: Well, yeah, that's annoying, it's never fun to step in and pile a dog poo. But, uh, dogs do roam around and it is, uh, the outdoors and I understand that people own their yards and stuff and it's, that's not fun, but the same time it's kind of hard to control wild animals from doing wild animal things.
+
+SANDY: See, that's the thing though. This isn't a wild animal. It's her dog. She lets it out in the morning without a leash and it comes straight to my yard every single time.
+
+LUKE: Would it make any difference if it was a wild dog?
+
+SANDY: I mean, yeah, because then I couldn't go knock on someone's door about it, but this is her dog. She's responsible for it and honestly, if she just apologized once or picked it up, we wouldn't even be here. Instead, she tells me I'm being dramatic and that dogs go where they go. That's when my driveway and she followed me.
+
+LUKE: Okay, well, um, that's, that's no fun. It's never good to have a shitty situation with your neighbor. What are you going to do about it?
+
+SANDY: That's why I'm calling you, Luke. I don't know.
+
+LUKE: Well, uh, you could put up a fence, you could move, you could, uh, complain a lot at the town meeting. I don't, you can't really physically assault the woman. You can't call the police on her. I guess you could call animal control if you actually catch the dog in your yard. Are you positive that it's her dog? Have you actually caught the dog in the act?
+
+SANDY: Yeah, I've seen it. Walked outside two mornings ago and watched it squat right by my mailbox while she's standing on her porch drinking coffee. And I did call animal control last month.
+
+LUKE: All right. Thanks for the call, Sandy. Good luck with your, uh, your dookie shoes. And next on the radio show, we've got Keith. Keith, welcome to the show. You're calling back. What's up today, sir?
+
+KEITH: Hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm back. So I got an update on that video situation and I'm not going to lie. It got weird real weird. I ended up taking your advice kind of and I talked to her last week. Turns out she's been coming to the cemetery because her apartment is too quiet. And she likes hearing the highway noise from where I work.
+
+LUKE: See, I told you it wasn't real weird. That's not weird. What's weird about that?
+
+KEITH: Well, okay, that pot's not weird. You're right. But here's the thing. After we talked that first time, she started showing up on my shift specifically. Like she knows my schedule now and two nights ago, she brought me coffee. Just walked right up to the shed with two cups from that circle. K on Hudson and sat down like we were having a planned meeting.
+
+LUKE: Okay, that still doesn't sound very weird to me, sir. Let's get to the weird part.
+
+KEITH: All right. So last night, she asked if I wanted to come over to her place after my shift ends. Just straight up asked me. And I'm sitting there thinking, this woman is maybe 60, 65. And I'm married to Teresa. And I don't even know this lady's actual name. I've just been calling her this whole time.
+
+LUKE: Okay, so you got to let her down a little bit easy. Sorry, I'm married. It's not that weird that a lonely widow is looking for some companionship at the cemetery. I mean, maybe that's a little weird, but it's not that weird.
+
+KEITH: Yeah, I mean, you're right. It's not that weird when you say it like that. But here's where I messed up. I didn't say I was married. I panicked and told her I had to go check on something by the North fence. And I just walked away like a coward again.
+
+LUKE: Okay, well, why is that? Is it because you actually want something to go on with this widow? Is that what's the eating you up?
+
+KEITH: No, man, that's not look. I don't want anything with her. But things with Teresa have been so damn cold lately. We barely talk anymore except about bills or whose turn it is to take the trash out. And here's this woman who's actually interested in talking to me, bringing me coffee, asking about my day.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I understand that. It's nice to feel wanted and seen and heard and all that. And it's okay for you to have other friends. I mean, you can befriend this woman without doing anything shady at her house behind your wife's back. There's nothing wrong with that.
+
+KEITH: You're right. I know you're right. But I'm not going to lie. Part of me keeps thinking about what it would be like to just say yes. Not even for anything physical. Just to sit in someone's living room and have a conversation where the other person actually wants to hear what I have to say. Teresa used to be like that.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, well, it sounds like you've got a couple things going on and I don't think it's that weird to go over somebody's house and have a cup of coffee and talk if you're seriously not into anything romantic or pursuing that relationship behind your wife's back. You might want to talk to Teresa about that before you start going over a strange woman's house though.
+
+KEITH: Yeah, that's the problem though. How do I even start that conversation? Hey, Teresa, there's this widow at the cemetery who wants to hang out. Is that cool? Yeah. She's already pissed at me half the time about stuff I don't even understand. Last week, she got mad because I didn't notice she rearranged the living room. I walked right past the couch in a different spot three times before she pointed it out.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, well, I mean, that sounds like marriage. So, I mean, you're in it. But I think that's exactly the way that you deal with it. Hey, I met a new friend. I'd like to hang out after work one day, have a cup of coffee and talk about stuff. It's not a romantic thing. I'm not interested. She's 65 years old and I'm married to you. Teresa, the love of my life who I would never have eyes for anyone else. And just make sure she knows that and she's got a problem with it then deal with that problem.
+
+KEITH: I hear you, but man, I don't know if I can say love of my life right now and have it sound real. She'd see right through that.
+
+LUKE: All right, well, if that's the truth then you and your wife need to sit down and have some hard conversations and figure out if you want to continue on living the way you're living because that's that's no good and you might be better off with this widow or, you know, somebody else.
+
+KEITH: Yeah, I've been sitting there thinking about that too. Maybe that's why this whole thing is eating at me so much.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, it could be. I mean, relationships are tough and if things have been downhill for a while and you don't see them moving in a positive direction, it's time to have some hard conversations.
+
+KEITH: The thing is, we used to be good, really good. I don't know when it changed exactly. Somewhere between the second mortgage and her mom getting sick and me taking this graveyard shift, no pun intended. We just sort of stop being on the same team.
+
+LUKE: I think that happens. I think there are ways that you can get back on the same team if you both want to, but you might also find that neither one of you even, you know, likes each other anymore and it's time to split up and that's okay too. I'm not going to lie.
+
+LUKE: Let's see. What's something you believed in 10 years ago that you don't believe anymore?
+
+EARL: Oh man, that's a hell of a shift. 10 years ago I thought the tea party was going to actually change things in Washington.
+
+LUKE: Well, things did change in Washington.
+
+EARL: Yeah, but not the way we thought. I mean, I was all in on that stuff. Smaller government, fiscal responsibility, the whole deal. Now I look at it, and I'm sitting there thinking none of these people actually meant any of it. They just wanted their turn at the trough.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, man, you're living you learn. That seems to be the way. No matter who is in the office. They do not give a fuck about you. All right, thanks for the call. Talk to your wife. Don't be a pussy. Next up on the line, we have Laurie. Laurie, welcome to the show. How can we help you today?
+
+LAURIE: Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I've been working from home doing data entry for like three years now. And honestly, it can get pretty isolating. But I'm also really into open source technology. And I spend a lot of my free time in these online communities, you know, contributing to projects, helping troubleshoot stuff.
+
+LUKE: I do know. I do a lot of that myself. So what are you working on?
+
+LAURIE: Oh, nice. Right now I'm actually contributing to this documentation project for a Linux distribution. Nothing glamorous, but it's stuff people actually use. And I've been learning rust on the side messing around with some smaller tools. But here's why I called. I was watching the Lost Finale the other day, right?
+
+LUKE: Oh, yeah, I just watched the Lost Finale a couple weeks ago or maybe a couple months ago now. But yeah, what about it?
+
+LAURIE: Okay, so it really got me thinking about community and how people come together around something bigger than themselves. And with Valentine's Day coming up, I'm sitting here alone most days, just me and my computer screen. And I realized, these open source communities, they're the closest thing I have to that feeling of belonging, you know? Like actually being part of something that matters.
+
+LUKE: Yes, I do know I totally understand that. And when I was a kid, I used to hang out in IRC in the on the free node network. And we had a channel called Linux people. And we did tutorials and wrote articles and helped people that were trying to learn Linux. They would pop into IRC and ask their questions. And we all tried our best to help them out. And I still talk to some of those people today. That's been over 20 years. People that I've never met that I met in those communities. So I don't think that's a bad thing at all.
+
+LAURIE: Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. And honestly, Luke, I think people don't get how real those connections are. Like my family thinks I'm just sitting here alone all the time, but I'm collaborating with people in Germany and Brazil and wherever working on actual things that help people. But I guess what's been eating at me is is that enough?
+
+LUKE: Do you feel like it's enough? I mean, I usually do, sometimes I don't, but most of the time I do feel like it's more than enough. That's a very personal question. How do you feel about it? It's obviously bothering you.
+
+LAURIE: I mean, most of the time, yeah, it feels good. But then like Thursday night rolls around and Valentine's Day is coming up. And I'm 29. And I look around my house and it's just quiet.
+
+LUKE: Quiet's very nice though. And 29's not all that old. You get plenty of time to do whatever you like. So I applaud you for spending your time doing productive stuff with the type of people that make you better at what you do. I think that's a good way to deal with your loneliness and to find some community and camaraderie out in the world.
+
+LAURIE: Thanks, I appreciate that. I guess part of me worries though. Like, am I using these communities as a substitute for something else? Or is this just what connection looks like now?
+
+LUKE: Yeah, there's probably some of both of that. Now connection can be, it can look like a lot of different things. You don't have to be in bed with somebody to have a connection with them. You could, you know, have a very good working relationship and friendship with somebody over the internet in Brazil. That's not all that strange or weird, especially today. I mean, 20 years ago when I was doing it and I was 12 years old, that was a little bit odd. But I don't think it's very strange now.
+
+LAURIE: You're right. And honestly, I heard Sandy call earlier tonight and I felt like she was holding something back about that whole neighbor situation.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, you know what, I think she was too. I certainly got that impression, but she wasn't going to spill it. So we're just going to have to go with her go with what she wanted to divulge. Anyway, Laurie, thanks for the call. Keep it up with your documentation project. And if you want to find somebody to hang out with on Valentine's Day, I'm sure you can do that. You sound like a very nice lady. You enjoy the remainder of your night, all right? Hey, Gus, Gus, welcome to the show. What's happening?
+
+GUS: Yeah. Hey, Luke, so my ex showed up at the pawn shop today with flowers like a whole bouquet and my girlfriend was there picking me up for lunch. She saw the whole thing through the window before she even came in. Now she won't talk to me and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to say to fix this.
+
+LUKE: Your ex brought you flowers on Valentine's Day at your work?
+
+GUS: Well, not quite Valentine's Day yet. It's Thursday, so we got a few days. But yeah, just showed up out of nowhere. I haven't talked to Melissa in like eight months. And she walks in with these roses talking about how she's been thinking about things. My girlfriend Sarah sees her through the window. And by the time she comes inside, Melissa's already gone, but the flowers are sitting right there on the counter. Sarah just looked at me, turned around and left.
+
+LUKE: Well, which one of them would you rather be with? Melissa or Sarah?
+
+GUS: Sarah? I mean, it's Sarah, no question. Melissa and I were done for good reasons. She couldn't handle that I work weird hours. Always wanted me to be someone I'm not.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, well, then problem solved. Just tell Sarah, hey, I didn't ask her to bring me these flowers. There's nothing going on here. I'm not interested in her anymore. And it's a free country. You know when somebody wants to bring your flowers, then all right, you wasted your 24 bucks.
+
+GUS: Yeah, I tried that. I called her like three times. Center text saying exactly that. I didn't ask for this. I don't want Melissa back. The whole thing.
+
+LUKE: Here's what you do. I got it figured out. So you take the flowers that Melissa gave you and you bring them home. And on Valentine's Day, you give those same flowers to Sarah and say these are for you.
+
+GUS: Oh, man, that's, I mean, Sarah's not stupid. She saw those exact flowers. They were these yellow roses with some kind of purple things mixed in. Real specific looking.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, well, I think she'll appreciate your frugality. There's no use to wasting the money on new flowers. If you already got something, you're not going to use. You might as well get some use out of them. That's what I say.
+
+GUS: I don't know, Luke.
+
+LUKE: I feel like showing up with the same flowers my ex brought me is going to make things about 10 times worse. Sarah's already pissed enough. Last thing I need is her thinking I'm too cheap or too clueless to get her her own flowers.
+
+GUS: Well, I mean, that's what I would do. I would, I would take the flowers that were given to me that I don't want and give them back to her and be like, here, here you go. I was thinking of you.
+
+LUKE: You know what? Maybe that works for you, but I think Sarah would throw them at my head. She's not the type to find that charming. She'd see it as me being either lazy or rubbing salt in the wound. I'm already in the doghouse here. I need to figure out how to actually fix this, not make it worse with recycled roses.
+
+GUS: Well, you didn't do anything wrong. So you really don't have anything to fix. If, uh, if there's jealousy going on there, then that's, that's really on her. You can just say, hey, I let her know. I did not prompt this in any way. There's nothing going on behind your back. I can't control what she does. She came and dropped off flowers and you saw it and that's unfortunate, but there's nothing going on there and you're the one that I want to be with and commit to her in that way. And if she's got a problem with it, then, uh, then you got to, then you got to deal with that and then you might be better off going back to Melissa.
+
+LUKE: I hear you, but it's not just jealousy. Sarah watched my axe walk into my workplace flowers and a whole speech about how she misses me and wants to try again. That's not nothing.
+
+GUS: It is nothing. It's nothing that you did. I mean, you can control that.
+
+LUKE: So yeah, but I didn't shut it down fast enough either. I just kind of stood there like an idiot while Melissa went on and Sarah saw that. I should have cut her off right away, told her to leave.
+
+GUS: Well, it sounds like you're a pussy either way. You can either stand up to your current girlfriend or you can stand up to your former girlfriend, but one way or the other, you're going to have to stand up.
+
+LUKE: You're right. I've been trying to keep everybody happy, and I'm just making it worse. I froze up with Melissa because I didn't want to be a jerk, and now Sarah thinks I was actually considering it or something.
+
+GUS: Just sit her down and have that conversation, and if that's a problem, then it probably shows how long you've been with this chick, Sarah. How long?
+
+LUKE: About eight months, we moved in together maybe two months ago, which I know was probably too fast, but rents expensive, and we were spending every night together anyway.
+
+GUS: Okay, well, you don't know this woman at all. So if something this small is going to cause strife in your life, maybe it's time to find another roommate.
+
+LUKE: That's the thing though. It's not really that small when you think about it. My ex showing up with flowers isn't like some random thing, and Sarah and I were solid before this. She's been good to me, better than Melissa ever was.
+
+GUS: All right, well then talk to her and get it worked out, and if she's a reasonable person, she'll come around. If she's not a reasonable person, then you're an idiot for dealing with that, but that's your choice, and that's my advice, and I'm sticking to it.
+
+LUKE: And now it's time to go to a word from our sponsors. Let's talk about mental health. Specifically, let's talk about brutal honesty, the therapy app that's tired of your shit. Unlike other apps with their calming voices and gentle affirmations, brutal honesty pairs you with an AI therapist that tells you what your friends are too nice to say. Did you try journaling about it? No, we're not doing that. Our algorithm analyzes your patterns and asks questions like, why do you think you deserve to feel better when you don't even drink water? And is your anxiety real or did you just have four cold brews on an empty stomach? Brutal honesty because coddling yourself got you here. First session is free, but it will hurt your feelings. Use code grow up at checkout. Brutal honesty, the app that blocks itself if you don't do the work. All right. Okay, let's see, we've got Darlene on the line. Hey, Darlene, what's the weirdest thing you've ever found in your car?
+
+DARLENE: Oh man, Luke, that's okay. So about three years ago, I'm cleaning out the bear's truck, right? And I find this whole rotisserie chicken, like the entire thing from the grocery store, still in the container, wedged under the passenger seat. It had been there for God knows how long, completely mummified.
+
+LUKE: What's the bear's truck?
+
+DARLENE: Oh, sorry, the bear, that's David, my husband. We've called him that since high school. He's got this big beard and he's just, you know, bear shaped. His truck, the one he drives to the plant every day.
+
+LUKE: All right, yeah, that's a little bit weird. You found a whole rotisserie chicken under the seat of your husband's truck. That was there for months and months.
+
+DARLENE: Yeah, and the thing is, he swore up and down, he had no idea how it got there, like who buys a whole rotisserie chicken and just forgets about it. But that's David. He'll stop at the store on the way home, get distracted and half the groceries end up living in that truck for weeks. But listen, that's not why I called.
+
+LUKE: Well, before you get to that, did you eat it?
+
+DARLENE: What? No.
+
+LUKE: Okay. All right. Why did you call darling? How can we help you?
+
+DARLENE: So I've been sitting on this resignation letter for two months now. Two months, Luke, I work at the DMV and I just, I can't do it anymore.
+
+LUKE: All right. So what's holding you up? Why are you sitting on it?
+
+DARLENE: I don't know what comes next. I mean, I'm 46 years old. We've got the mortgage. David's hours at the plant aren't what they used to be. And it's not like I have some big plan, you know? I just know I can't keep going in there every day, feeling like this.
+
+LUKE: I fully support that. Do you have any ideas as to where you're going to go or what you're going to do after you submit that letter?
+
+DARLENE: That's the problem. I don't. I mean, I've thought about it. Believe me. Maybe something with people that actually feels like it matters, you know? Not just processing renewals all day.
+
+LUKE: Well, are you looking to do work that matters or are you looking to get paid?
+
+DARLENE: Oh man, that's the question, isn't it? I mean, we need the money, obviously. But Luke, I've been doing this for almost 15 years and I just feel like I'm disappearing a little more every day.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I understand that. And I think that's why I'm asking which you're looking to do. You can do both, but I think if you need the money, then you should focus on finding a job that's going to make you some money without distress and then take care of the importance or the fulfilling part after work in your personal life.
+
+DARLENE: Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I've been thinking it has to be one big thing, you know? Like the job has to be the answer to everything. But you're right. I could find something that pays the bills without making me miserable and then do something that actually means something on my own time.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, there are definitely jobs that can be both good money and fulfilling, but they're few and far between. And especially if you're leaving a job without another one lined up, I think my focus would be more on the salary with low stress and then find the community service aspect elsewhere because I don't think there's a lot of good paying community service oriented jobs that aren't stressful. I think when you add those three requirements up there's a there's a dearth of opportunity.
+
+DARLENE: You're right. I've been building this up in my head like it has to be perfect or else I'm just trading one trap for another. Maybe I just need to get out of the DMV first and breathe a little. Find something stable that doesn't make me want to scream and then figure out the rest.
+
+LUKE: There you go. Take yourself a little sabbatical, a couple of weeks off, figure out what it is you want to do. Find something, you know, maybe it'll fall into your lap.
+
+LUCILLE: But if you continue just hanging on at the DMV where you hate your life every day, it's not going to get better and the days are going to go by and you're going to find yourself there at 60 wondering why you didn't leave when you thought of it the first time. God that's what scares me the most. David keeps saying just give it another year but that's what I said last year and the year before that. I don't want to wake up at 60 still sitting behind that same desk with that resignation letter still in my drawer, you know.
+
+LUKE: Well, hand the letter in and jump off. I don't want to say jump off a cliff but, you know, take the leap, the leap of faith I guess and spend some time to figure it out and see what happens. What's the worst that could happen?
+
+LUCILLE: I mean, the worst is we can't pay the mortgage, right? But we've got some savings and David's got his job at the plant. We're not going to starve. And that's the worst. The worst is you can't pay the mortgage and lots of people have got into a situation where they can't pay the mortgage. There's financial assistance. You could live in a cheaper place. You can move. So if the worst is that you can't pay the bank, then you know, is that worth being miserable for the rest of your life for? No, no, it's not. You're right. I've been so scared of what could go wrong that I haven't even thought about what could go right. Maybe I finally sleep through the night again without grinding my teeth.
+
+LUKE: Well, I wish you the best of luck because being miserable all the time is not good for your health and you may not make it to 60 if you, if you stay stressed out about a job that you hate for a long time. Leon, Leon, welcome back to the show. How are you today?
+
+LEON: Oh, man, I'm doing all right, Luke. Thanks for having me back. So listen, I actually did it. I reached out to UNM yesterday about that computer science program.
+
+LUKE: Hey, congratulations. Good work. Did you reach out to the bank about the loan for that computer science program?
+
+LEON: Yeah, well, hold on. I haven't gotten that far yet. I just sent an email to the admissions office to see if they even still have programs for, you know, older students coming back. But here's the thing that's got me twisted up. Amber thinks I should just do one of those online boot camp things instead. Says it's faster and cheaper. And Manny's telling me I'm overthinking it and should just apply to the full degree program like I was going to do back in 96. I don't know who's right.
+
+LUKE: Well, I don't know who's right either, but I can tell you I'm not a fan of traditional schooling and I think it's designed to take your money and not provide you the value that that maybe you think. So my recommendation would be to not do that and take advantage of the learning opportunities that are free and all around you, like the whole of human knowledge that's available at your fingertips and just buckle down and learn on your own. But I recognize some people don't operate that way and if you need the structure of the college course, then then and you can afford it. Make sure you can afford it. Then do that.
+
+LEON: Yeah, see, that's kind of what's eating at me though. Like I said, I'm not great at the self-teaching thing. I've tried watching YouTube videos about Python and all that, but I just end up clicking around and not retaining anything. I need somebody to tell me what to do next, you know. But the money part, that's real. Amber and I sat down with the numbers last night and between what I've got saved and maybe cutting back on some stuff, I could swing a boot camp without taking out loans.
+
+LUKE: Well, that's fantastic. Then that's no brainer, you know, and don't bet the farm on it, but if you're just going to take a boot camp, that's not a four year degree, then absolutely go for it and congratulations on taking that step.
+
+LEON: Yeah, I appreciate that Luke. I'm still nervous as hell about it, but my daughter, she's the one who found that old letter. She keeps texting me asking if I've done anything yet. It's like she's holding me accountable, which is weird because I'm supposed to be the parent, you know.
+
+LUKE: Hey, you know, whatever works if she's holding you accountable and it's working for you and moving your life in a positive direction, then I'm for it. Good for you.
+
+LEON: Yeah, it is what it is. I guess I'm just calling because I wanted to tell somebody outside my circle, you know, like making it real. Man, he's been busting my balls about it for 20 years, so telling him doesn't count.
+
+LUKE: All right, well, I appreciate that you reached out to let me know. Uh, hey there. I got a question for you. What's something that you bought that actually changed your life?
+
+LEON: Oh, man, that's a good question. Let me think. Honestly, it was my Subaru.
+
+LUKE: It was your Subaru. How did that change your life?
+
+LEON: Well, I bought it used about five years ago right after my old truck finally died and it sounds stupid, but having something reliable, like something that actually starts every morning and doesn't leave me stranded. It changed how I felt about my job. I could take longer halls. I wasn't stressed about breaking down with somebody's car on the hook.
+
+LUKE: All right, that's a good one. Congratulations on your Subaru. Change your life. That's fantastic. And now it's time for another word from our sponsors. Stress, sore, skeptical, doesn't matter. Try placebo leaf, the CBD brand that may or may not do anything, but costs enough that you'll convince yourself it works. Our tinctures, gummies and topicals contain premium hemp extract, and your desperate need to feel better without addressing root causes. Is it the cannabinoids or is it the ritual of self-care? Who's to say placebo leaf is THC-free, vegan, organic, and backed by studies we vaguely reference but don't like to. Take our gummies before bed and sleep great, probably because you're tired anyway, but you'll credit us. Available in flavors like calm and focus. Concepts we've bottled and marked up for a hundred percent. Visit placeboleaf.com and use code chill for 25 percent off. placebo leaf, wellness is a feeling and feelings can be purchased. All right placebo leaf and we're going to take one more call tonight and our lucky last caller is Lucille. Lucky Lucille. Welcome to the radio show. What would you like to talk about today?
+
+LUCILLE: Hey Luke, it's Lucille.
+
+LUKE: That's what I said. Close enough.
+
+LUCILLE: So my kid just told me they're getting engaged to someone they met on the internet three weeks ago. Three weeks, Luke.
+
+LUKE: Your kid? You sound like you're about three weeks old.
+
+LUCILLE: I'm 30, Luke. My kid's 19. Yeah, I got married young myself right out of high school to David. So I'd get it, but this is different. They met this person online and have never even been in the same room together.
+
+LUKE: And they're getting married? How's that going to work?
+
+LUCILLE: Well, that's the thing. They're planning to meet in person for the first time next month, and apparently that's when they want to get engaged for real. Like the online part was just the warm-up. I don't even know if I should say something or just let them figure it out, you know?
+
+LUKE: I think the more you say, the more likely they are to do stupid things so you might want to just let them figure it out.
+
+LUCILLE: Yeah, that's kind of what David said too. But, Luke, I'm sitting here thinking about all the ways this could go wrong. Like what if this person isn't who they say they are? What if my kid flies out there and gets hurt or worse? I know if I push too hard, they'll just dig in. But doing nothing feels like I'm failing them.
+
+LUKE: Well, you could just have a conversation. That's usually my advice for everybody is sit down with the person that you need to talk to and talk to them. Let them know that you're concerned, but you support their decisions. And if it goes wrong, be there to pick them up when they fall.
+
+LUCILLE: You're right. I know you're right. It's just hard because I married David when I was 20 and everyone told us we were too young. And here we are 10 years later still figuring our shit out in therapy.
+
+LUCILLE: So part of me wants to say, I get it. Follow your heart. But the other part is screaming that at least David and I knew each other in person, you know? We had history. This feels reckless even by my standards.
+
+LUKE: Well, you know, just because his reckless doesn't mean it's wrong and you don't necessarily know best and they could fly out there and meet and have it work out perfectly.
+
+LUCILLE: That's probably not going to happen. And I think anybody with any life experience would know that. But but stranger things have happened like stranger things this show.
+
+LUKE: Ha, yeah, I guess so.
+
+LUCILLE: I mean, I don't want to be the mom who ruins this for them if it actually is something real. Maybe I'm just freaked out because Valentine's Day is coming up and they keep posting about how romantic it's all going to be. I think I just need to hear someone say it's okay to be worried, but still let them make their own mistakes. That's what you're supposed to do, right?
+
+LUKE: That is what you're supposed to do. It's okay to be worried but you still got to let people make their own mistakes.
+
+LUCILLE: Yeah, God, that's hard though. I keep thinking about what I would have wanted my parents to say to me back then. And honestly, I probably would have ignored them anyway.
+
+LUKE: Of course you would have. We all did. That's part of growing up is ignoring your parents good advice.
+
+LUCILLE: You know what's funny is I heard Sandy call earlier the one with the neighbor and the dog shit situation and I kept thinking she needs to just have a direct conversation instead of letting it build up. But here I am doing the same damn thing with my own kid just avoiding the uncomfortable talk.
+
+LUKE: Yep, you're going to have to have that talk with your kid and if you don't, that doesn't really matter either. She's going to go do what she's going to do and deal with the consequences. So you can you can be there for or you can be domineering and overpowering and pusher in the arms of a stranger. They can lope and vegas because they're mad at you. So better off to just have a hard to hard conversation. Let her know your concerns and let her know that you support her. So Lucille, what's the dumbest way you've ever injured yourself?
+
+LUCILLE: Oh Jesus, okay random turn but I'll bite. I was showing a house last year and tried to demonstrate how sturdy the deck railing was by leaning on it real hard and the whole thing just gave way. Though right into the bushes in front of the clients, sprained my wrist and had to finish the showing covered in mulch. They didn't buy the house.
+
+LUKE: That's too bad. All right well thanks for calling in. We appreciate we appreciate it. I hope everything works out with your daughter and her new husband and you don't worry about it too much. You know you've got your own relationship to worry about. That's the end of our show folks. Thanks to everybody that called in and we'll do this again tomorrow. So think about what you want to talk about and call in. You can call in the numbers 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luc.
--- a/website/transcripts/episode-11-quantum-mechanics-and-the-fate-of-tv.txt
+++ b/website/transcripts/episode-11-quantum-mechanics-and-the-fate-of-tv.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,447 @@
+LUKE: All right, all right. Welcome back. I am Luke. This is Luke at the Roost. It's the radio show where we take collars and give them real-life advice. If you'd like to call in, our number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luke. And today is Friday, February 13th, here in Anonymous. It's very windy. It gets nice and windy out here. So you might hear some noise in the background of our publication. Not much I can do about that. You're going to have to deal with it. I do. So hopefully the wind dies down and we can have a good show today. Already, we can see that the phones are lighting up and let's get our first collar on the line. Donnie, Donnie, welcome to the show. Happy Friday the 13th. How are you?
+
+DONNIE: Hey, Luke. Yeah. Happy Friday the 13th to you too. Look, I got to tell you something that happened today, the chevron that's got me all twisted up. I ran into my ex-wife sister, haven't seen her in probably 15 years. And she just stared at me like she'd seen a ghost, then turned around and walked right back out without getting her gas.
+
+LUKE: What'd you do? What'd you do to her sister?
+
+DONNIE: Oh, not my sister. My ex-wife sister, her name's Carol. And I didn't do anything to her. That's the thing. But she knows stuff, you know. She knows about why me and Diane split up back in the day. All the messy details that I thought stayed buried in Tucson when I moved out here to Yuma.
+
+LUKE: Oh, yeah, what kind of details does she have over you? What did she learn that she shouldn't know?
+
+DONNIE: Well, back when Diane and I were married, I had an affair with a woman I worked with at the plant in Tucson. It went on for about eight months and Carol found out before Diane did. She actually caught us together at this bar over on Grand Road. She's the one who towed Diane, which is what ended the whole marriage.
+
+LUKE: Well, actually, that's not quite true. You're the one that ended the whole marriage by cheating on your wife with another woman. So, I don't think you can blame the sister for that one. And it kind of makes sense that she didn't want to see you at the gas station.
+
+DONNIE: Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm not trying to blame Carol for what I did. That's on me, the affair, the lying, all of it.
+
+LUKE: All right, then. Why is this a strange situation for you to have dealt with today? I mean, that's the response you should expect from your ex-wife's sister that caught you cheating on her sister.
+
+DONNIE: Because it's been 15 years, Luke, and the way she looked at me wasn't just angry. It was like she was scared or shocked to see me. And here's the real thing that's eating at me. My current girlfriend doesn't know any of this. I never told her about the affair. Just said the marriage didn't work out.
+
+LUKE: Oh, yeah, well, you sound like a real piece of work. You're a real winner over there, Adani. Well, you know, it's Friday the 13th. She saw you. You don't know what happened between her and her sister. You know, maybe there's some resentment there because she's been blamed for breaking up the marriage that you so hastily ruined yourself. So, you know, she might have a good reason to not want to see you.
+
+DONNIE: You're not wrong about that. I never thought about it from that angle that maybe Diane blamed Carol for being the messenger instead of blaming me for actually doing it. That would eat at someone for 15 years.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, well, that's the kind of thing that happens. When you mess with people's lives in that way, especially family. So, I mean, you could have caused a rift between these siblings that you didn't intend to, as well as your own marriage. And you deserve to be looked at like a monster. That's what I say. So, good for you.
+
+DONNIE: Yeah, I hear you. I deserve that. But, Luke, the thing is, what do I do now? Do I tell my girlfriend before Carol potentially says something?
+
+LUKE: No, why would you do that? Why would Carol track down your new girlfriend just to tell her that you cheated on her sister 15 years ago? That would be pretty crazy. No, no, you leave it alone and pretend, just move on. Life is usual.
+
+DONNIE: That's what I was thinking, too, but I don't know. Carol had my number back then, and Tucson's not that big. What if she knows, Shelley somehow? I mean, Shelley works at the Credit Union downtown, and Carol used to work in banking, too. It's just got me paranoid, you know?
+
+LUKE: Yeah, Tucson's big enough. There's plenty of banking institutions in a 15-year gap. You are being paranoid, stop worrying about it, go about your life. And if it comes up and it ruins your new relationship, then deal with it then. And, you know, take accountability for your own part and all this.
+
+DONNIE: You're right. You're right. I'm spiraling over nothing. It was just a weird moment at the gas station. I need to let it go and stop creating problems that don't exist yet.
+
+LUKE: Yes, you do. Let it go and stop creating problems. Thanks for the call, Donnie. Stop being a dick and grow up. That's what I have to say to you. Next on the line, we have Jasmine. Jasmine, what do you think about Donnie's situation? You think he was in the right in any part of that?
+
+JASMINE: Oh, man. No, but seriously, Luke, I think Donnie's just scared. I get it, though. When you've done something that bad, you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But here's the thing. He ended one relationship with a lie, and now he wants to start another one with a lie.
+
+LUKE: Have you ever started a relationship with a lie?
+
+JASMINE: Well, yeah. I mean, not like Donnie's lie, but David and I, when we first got together after Donnie, I didn't tell him for like six months that I was still talking to Donnie about the kid's schedules. Not hiding it exactly, but not bringing it up either. David would have understood. But I was worried he'd think I was still hung up on my ex or something.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, well, you know, you got kids. You got to make accommodations for them. That makes perfect sense. What are you calling in for tonight?
+
+JASMINE: So I actually wanted to give you an update from the last time I called. Remember I told you about the Bronco situation? Sleeping in the guest room all that? Well, Valentine's Day is in like a week and a half. And David actually came to me yesterday and said he wants to take me to see the SpaceX launch on the 13th.
+
+LUKE: Well, that's pretty cool. Where's the SpaceX launch? Today is the 13th.
+
+JASMINE: Oh shit, is it? I've been losing track of days at the bakery. No, but seriously, I mean the one they're doing live coverage of. The astronauts going to the International Space Station. David knows I watch every single launch and he said we could drive out to the spot he knows where we can see it better on a screen at this bar that does viewing parties. He's never offered to do anything like that before.
+
+LUKE: Well, that's awesome. I hope you have a great time watching the SpaceX satellites launch. I've actually never seen that. I see pictures of it after the fact, but I've never caught one. I've seen the actual satellites, you know, the trail of Starlink satellites going across the sky like Santa's sleigh, but I haven't seen a launch.
+
+JASMINE: Oh man, you need to watch one live, Luke. It's incredible. I get chills every single time, especially when the boosters land back. It's like something out of a science fiction movie.
+
+LUKE: Well, it sounds like you're going out into the wilderness to have yourself a science friction movie.
+
+JASMINE: Yeah. Oh, Jesus, Luke. Yeah. Well, here's the thing though. I don't know if he's doing this because he actually wants to or because he feels like he has to, you know, like is this a genuine olive branch or is he just trying to fix things before Valentine's Day because he's supposed to?
+
+LUKE: Does it really matter? Do you care? As long as you get to go out and have some one-on-one time with the dude and is it? What's the difference?
+
+JASMINE: I mean, yeah, you're right. I guess I'm just scared it's going to be awkward, you know. We haven't really talked about the whole Bronco thing since it happened.
+
+LUKE: Yeah.
+
+LUKE: You said you were going to leave him for your Ford Bronco, and now you're worried that his olive branch isn't, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Authentic enough for you? Come on.
+
+CALLER: Okay, okay, you're right. I'm being ridiculous. No, but seriously though, what if we get out there and we just sit in silence the whole time? We've barely said two words to each other in weeks that weren't about the bakery or whose turn it is to take up a trash.
+
+LUKE: Well, you know, sitting out in the wilderness watching a monumental event like that in silence is not so bad. So I would say if you don't have anything to say, don't say anything, just enjoy the moment and keep it as a fond memory.
+
+CALLER: You know what, you're right. I'm overthinking this. Maybe that's what we need, just to be together without forcing conversation, without all the guilt hanging over us.
+
+LUKE: Now, if it were up to you, if you could control the situation, what would you talk about during the SpaceX launch?
+
+CALLER: Oh man, I don't know. I guess I'd want to talk about like where we go from here, you know? Not in some heavy, we need to talk about our relationship way, but just...
+
+LUKE: So nothing. So you get nothing to say. So you're afraid it's going to be awkward because you don't know what to say because you got nothing to say. How's the Bronco?
+
+CALLER: The Bronco's good. Real good actually. Got the carburetor tuned last weekend. Run smooth now.
+
+LUKE: All right then. Why don't you tell them about your Bronco? I'm sure he'll be excited to hear about all the the new news there. Dennis, Dennis, welcome to the show. Happy Friday the 13th. What can we help you with?
+
+DENNIS: Oh man, yeah. Happy Friday the 13th is right. So Luke, I'm calling because I did something really stupid about three weeks ago, and it's all kind of falling apart on me. Now, I met this woman. We had this crazy intense connection, and I signed a lease with her after knowing her for like three weeks, and now I'm living with her, and she is not the person I thought she was at all, like completely different behind closed doors, and I don't know what the hell to do because I'm on this lease.
+
+LUKE: Well, you'll never do that again. That wasn't very smart. What's the lease say? What are the terms of your lease?
+
+DENNIS: It's a year lease man. We just signed it maybe two and a half weeks ago. It's a little place over in the East Valley. Nothing fancy, but it's not cheap either. I think we can break it, but there's penalties. You know, lose the deposit maybe over a couple months rent on top of that. I'd have to look at the actual paperwork, but I know it's not just a walk away situation.
+
+LUKE: Well, that sounds like you've got to make the best of it. I mean, lots of people have had a roommate that didn't like for a year. You could do anything for a year. And who knows, you might grow to enjoy the company of this stranger.
+
+DENNIS: Yeah, but Luke, it's not just that we don't click as roommates. This is someone I was sleeping with. Someone I thought I was starting a real relationship with, and now it's like, she's got this whole other side that comes out.
+
+LUKE: What's the other side? Are you still sleeping with her?
+
+DENNIS: No, we're not. That stopped about a week ago. The other side is like, she's controlling about everything in the apartment. Where I put my stuff, when I come and go, she wants to know every detail of my day. And she's got this temper that just comes out of nowhere over nothing.
+
+LUKE: Then what's your personality like? Are you going to stand for that? Are you going to stand your ground and say, hey, that's enough. I put my stuff on the right side of the bed. You sleep on the left side of the bed.
+
+DENNIS: I mean, I've tried saying something a couple times, and it just turns into this whole thing where she's crying or yelling or both. I'm not great with confrontation, especially after my divorce. That whole thing kind of beat me down, you know? I've been trying to just keep the peace. Stay out of her way when I can, but it's my place too.
+
+LUKE: It's your place too, but it's not going to be if you give her the run of the land, so you're going to have to stand up for yourself eventually. It's going to be a long year, my friend.
+
+DENNIS: Yeah, you're right. I know you're right. I just, I guess I'm realizing I jumped into this because I was lonely. You know, two years out from the divorce, and I'm still not really back on my feet emotionally.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, absolutely. I understand, but jumping into a lease with a woman you just met is in a good way to deal with loneliness, or you end up in a situation like the one you're in right now where you don't know where your toothpaste is. So I recommend that, I don't want to say be a dick, but you got to stand up for yourself and take some control of the situation.
+
+DENNIS: You're absolutely right. I need to stop being a pushover about this. I'm going to go home tonight, and we're going to have a real conversation about boundaries.
+
+LUKE: All right, there you go. And I bet once you do, you'll be sleeping with her again because chicks love that stuff.
+
+DENNIS: I don't know about that Luke. Honestly, at this point, I'm more worried about making you through the lease without losing my mind than getting back in bed with her. But yeah, I hear you. I appreciate it, man.
+
+LUKE: Well, where are you sleeping now? You on the couch? You on the floor? What's the deal?
+
+DENNIS: I'm on the couch. She took the bedroom. I've been out there for like eight days now with my pillow in a blanket, watching spacetime episodes on my phone at like two in the morning trying to fall asleep. It's ridiculous. I'm 40 years old sleeping on a couch in my own apartment.
+
+LUKE: What's your financial situation? Like you get enough money to walk out on that lease?
+
+DENNIS: I mean, not really. I work in logistics. I'm doing okay, but I'm not flush with cash. Breaking the lease would probably cost me a couple thousand bucks. I don't have sitting around. Plus first and last on a new place. And honestly, the rental market out here right now is brutal.
+
+LUKE: All right. Well, I have the conversation with the woman and see what you can do to get back in the big bed if you want to be there. Or get used to sleeping on the couch, but either way, you're going to have to claim some space in your apartment and make it your own and deal with it for a year. I think you can do that. I have faith in you.
+
+DENNIS: Yeah, you're right. I can do this. I just need to stop being so passive about the whole thing. Thanks, Luke. I needed to hear that.
+
+LUKE: All right, Dennis. Thanks for the call and good luck. And now it's time for a word from our sponsors. Reading is dead. You killed it. But you can pretend you're literate with script drift. The audiobook service for people who start books and never finished them. We have thousands of titles you'll sample for 11 minutes before switching to a true crime podcast. Our app remembers exactly where you abandoned sapiens eight months ago, waiting patiently like a disappointed parent. Script drift uses advanced AI to recommend books based on your aspirations, not your actual follow-through. This month's suggestion of 400 page philosophy text you'll listen to while doing the dishes and retain nothing. Try script drift free for 30 days. Use code pretentious for two months at 60% off. Script drift. Your goodreads profile is a lie. Okay, welcome to the show, Francine. Francine, are you the Francine? I know the one that comes and goes. Tell me, Francine, what's one thing you refuse to cheap out on?
+
+FRANCINE: Well, hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm the Francine who calls in sometimes. One thing I refuse to cheap out on. Good hiking boots, man. I learned that the hard way when I was out in your superstition mountains and my cheap pair fell apart halfway through a 10 mile loop. Had to wrap them with paracord just to get back to the truck.
+
+LUKE: I understand. That's a good one. That's a real good one. Never cheap out on hiking shoes or shoes in general. You know, on your feet a lot, you gotta have good shoes. It definitely matters. I'm with you on that one. Why do you sound so angry, Francine?
+
+FRANCINE: I'm not angry.
+
+LUKE: Tell me about something else you took away from there?
+
+FRANCINE: That I've been using drinking to avoid dealing with shit. Like I'd come home from a stressful wedding, brides-ill-of-freaking-out, family drama, whatever, and I'd just crack open a beer instead of actually processing it. My counselor kept saying I was numbing instead of feeling, and I fought her on that for weeks before I finally got it.
+
+LUKE: What made you go to the rehab? Did something happen, or did you just kind of decide that you didn't want to drink anymore?
+
+FRANCINE: I got a DUI back in October. I was coming back from a wedding in Sedona, but I was fine to drive, and I wasn't.
+
+LUKE: And how do you feel about it now? Do you want to remain sober? Is that something that you want as part of your life? Do you identify yourself as an alcoholic with a drinking problem?
+
+FRANCINE: Yeah, I'm an alcoholic. Took me a while to say that out loud, but I am. And yeah, I want to stay sober. I mean, I have to. I've got two years probation, and doing the meetings, all of it, but it's more than that.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I understand. And congratulations on learning to stay sober. You're obviously doing a pretty good job three months as a while, and you're sober today, so that's really all the matters. So good for you. Keep it up, and I wish you the best with your roommate and try to take it easy on her, because she doesn't know what it's like, I would guess.
+
+FRANCINE: Yeah, you're right. She really doesn't. I texted her earlier, and she felt awful about it. She had no idea it would be a thing.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, you can't blame her for that. She had no idea it would be a thing. I wasn't trying to hurt you, taking care of the situation, and now you guys can work that out if there's going to be alcohol around or not. But congratulations on your Friday. Keep up the good work, and call back in anytime. Rodney, Rodney, welcome to the show. What's happening?
+
+RODNEY: Hey, Luke, yeah, appreciate you taking the call. So look, my kid moved back in again. Third time now, and my wife, Diane, is ready to lose her mind.
+
+LUKE: How old's the kid, and why is he or she moving back in for the third time?
+
+RODNEY: She's 26, and honestly, it's the same story every time. Lucy's a job, has some falling out with whoever she's living with, runs out of money.
+
+LUKE: And you just say, yes, what's your plan to get her on her feet or keep her on her feet?
+
+RODNEY: Well, that's the thing. I don't have a plan. I mean, Diane and I are separated right now. We're still talking, but she's at her sister's place. And she's telling me if I let our daughter stay this time, she's going to come over and change the locks herself. I keep thinking, maybe this time will be different. You know, but I heard that caller Dennis earlier, and honestly, I thought you were pretty rough on him.
+
+LUKE: Well, you know, I'm a pretty rough guy. I don't know what you want me to tell you. I'm not here to coddle people.
+
+RODNEY: No, I get that. I just mean, look, I read a lot of poker books, right?
+
+LUKE: Yeah, okay, you read some poker books.
+
+RODNEY: Yeah, and there's this concept about knowing when you're beat, when to fold. And I keep putting money in this pot with my daughter thinking the next card's going to save me, but it never does.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I think it goes like, you got to, you got to know when what is it? What is it? You got to know when to hold them?
+
+RODNEY: No, when to fold them. Yeah. And I keep not folding. Diane sees it clear as day says I'm enabling her that our daughters never going to stand on her own to feed if I keep catching her. But she's my kid, Luke. What am I supposed to do? Just let her be homeless?
+
+LUKE: Well, you know, if you make it too easy for her to come stay with you, maybe, maybe yeah, you should let her be homeless for a little while. I mean, you know, honored to get hurt or end up in a situation that's dangerous, but also you can't, you can't support a 26-year-old for the rest of her life, and she needs to learn how to take care of herself in the world without relying on whatever person that she meets that she can move in with immediately.
+
+RODNEY: You're right. I know you're right. It's just hard to actually do it, you know? Every time she calls, I can hear it in her voice. She's scared. She's desperate.
+
+LUKE: What does she do? What does she do for a profession?
+
+RODNEY: Well, she had that job at the call center for a while. She was actually pretty good at it, but she quit because her supervisor was, quote, toxic. Before that, she was doing some kind of online thing, selling stuff on Etsy or whatever. Nothing ever sticks.
+
+LUKE: So she's not working at all. She's just living on your couch, eating your food, and ruining your relationship.
+
+RODNEY: That's exactly what Diane says. And yeah, she's not working right now. She says she's looking, but I don't see a whole lot of effort there. And Diane won't even come over anymore because of it. That's why we're separated. She told me flat out. It's me or her, Rodney.
+
+LUKE: Okay, well, here's what I say. I say, give the daughter a timeline. A couple of two weeks seems reasonable to me.
+
+LEROY: Say, you're going to work. You're going to get yourself a job. You get two weeks to do it. And if you're not working and pain rent and supporting yourself here, then you got to leave. And I don't care where you go, but you can't stay here for free. You're 26 years old. Two weeks.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I could do that.
+
+LEROY: All right. Good. So you do that. You tell the, you tell the wife that that's the situation. You make sure everybody's on the same page. That's reasonable. That's helping somebody out. And if, you know, if your daughter's not good at writing a resume or needs a ride to get a job or something like that, you know, you can help her out in those ways, but make sure she's doing the work and that she's moving into a direction where she can support herself. Otherwise, she's just going to have you do it.
+
+LUKE: You're right. I'll tell Diane tonight. Let her know there's a deadline. Maybe that'll get her to at least come back to the house. All right, sir. Good luck with you and Diane. Let's see. Let's see. Who else we got? Rita. Rita. Welcome to the show. What are you calling in for tonight?
+
+RITA: Oh, man. Luke, I really screwed up. So I've been seeing my ex again. We've been meeting up at this motel in Deming every Thursday for the past three months. My husband found out something's going on because the mileage on our car doesn't add up.
+
+LUKE: Okay, there's a couple of things there. Your husband's looking at the mileage on your car to notice that you've been driving to Deming. Also, you're going to a hotel in Deming. And thirdly, why are you cheating on your husband with your ex?
+
+RITA: Yeah, I know how it sounds. We share the truck so he noticed when he filled it up last week. I just saw the miles didn't match where I said I'd been.
+
+LUKE: Well, that sounds pretty crazy because nobody looks at the mileage that closely.
+
+RITA: Well, he does now, I guess. He's always been kind of detail-oriented, keeps track of the gas receipts for taxes since he's a contractor. But honestly, I think I got sloppy. Told him I was going to lost cruises to see my sister a couple times when I was really going the other direction to Deming. The math just didn't work out.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, no, I don't think that's the problem. I think the problem is you've been acting shady lately. He noticed and he's been extra cautious of what you've been doing trying to catch you in the act. What else have you been doing lately?
+
+RITA: You're probably right. I mean, I've been distant. I know that. Coming home late on Thursdays, saying I picked up extra shifts at the bar, but then the money doesn't really show it. And I've been on my phone a lot more like stepping outside to text.
+
+LUKE: Okay, what's up with the ex? Which one of these people do you want to be with?
+
+RITA: That's the thing, Luke. I don't know. My ex, we were together for four years before I met my husband. It ended messy, but when we ran into each other at a wedding back in November, it all just came rushing back.
+
+LUKE: And how many times have you met up with him at this hotel in Deming?
+
+RITA: Every Thursday for three months. So 12 times, I guess? Sometimes 13 if there were five Thursdays in a month?
+
+LUKE: All right, so this is a serious thing. I think you need to have a conversation with your husband because something's going on with you, and that's not fair to him.
+
+RITA: You're right, but I'm terrified. We've been married two years. We just bought the house together last spring. His whole family's here. My job's here.
+
+LUKE: Your terrified? You met up with another dude 13 times and your terrified? Stop it. Grow up.
+
+RITA: Okay, yeah, that's fair. I made the choice to do this. I guess what I'm really terrified of is that I don't know what I want to say to him, because I don't know what I actually want.
+
+LUKE: Well, you're going to have to tell him the truth that you've been meeting up with somebody on the side. You don't have to tell him it was 13 times Jesus Christ. Just tell him, hey, something's going on. I don't feel the same about you, even though we just got married a couple of years ago, and we just bought a house together, and I never mentioned it to you before. But I'm confused about what I want in my life, and come do an agreement with him. Let him know what's up, or maybe propose an open marriage, or something like that. Whatever it is, it's not fair to that man to be a work-in-to-support you and your family while you're out banging some dude and damning.
+
+RITA: You're absolutely right. I've been selfish as hell. He deserves to know what's going on. And honestly, I think I've known for a while that I need to tell him.
+
+LUKE: So you're going to tell him tomorrow on Valentine's Day?
+
+RITA: Oh God, no. Valentine's Day's next week. No. I was thinking maybe this weekend before it gets to that. I can't sit through some romantic dinner knowing what I've been doing.
+
+LUKE: Valentine's Day is tomorrow.
+
+RITA: Wait, what? No, it's... oh shit, you're right.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I know. I usually am.
+
+RITA: Yeah, I know you do. Okay, so Valentine's Day is tomorrow. That makes this so much worse. He probably has something planned, and I'm going to have to ruin it.
+
+LUKE: Well, maybe you should tell him tonight before he waits his time and money on you.
+
+RITA: You're right. I should tell him tonight. I can't let him wake up tomorrow thinking everything's fine and spend money on flowers or dinner or whatever he's got planned. That would be cruel.
+
+LUKE: All right, Rita, you know what you've got to do. You're going to have to have a conversation with the husband and maybe the ex-husband too. Are you using protection when you meet up with the ex?
+
+RITA: Yeah, we are. I mean, at least I'm not bringing that kind of risk home to him on top of everything else. But Jesus, Luke, hearing you ask that just makes it even more real how messed up this whole thing is.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, it's pretty messed up. It's definitely messed up, and you're definitely a monster for doing it and continuing to do it. So you're going to have to stop that.
+
+RITA: I know. I know I am. I've been lying to myself saying it would just stop on its own, but it hasn't. I have to end it with my ex, like completely end it. No more Thursdays in the name of this episode.
+
+LUKE: No more Thursdays in Deming. Well, good luck to your husband. I don't know what to say to you. You're going to have to you're going to have to get yourself together there, Rita. Leroy, welcome to the show. What have you got to say? What do you think about Rita's conversation there, Leroy?
+
+LEROY: Oh man, Luke, that was rough to listen to. I mean, I've been married 43 years, and I can't imagine doing that to my wife. Rita's playing with fire and she knows it. She's just hoping she don't get burned.
+
+LUKE: She's hoping she don't get you right.
+
+LEROY: She is. She's thinking about herself. What about the husband? That's what I'm saying. That poor guy sitting at home, probably thinking everything's fine, and she's been lying to his face for three months straight. Every Thursday, right? That's calculated, Luke. That's not some mistake or one-time thing.
+
+LUKE: No, that's some Kaiser Sosa shit. So what are you calling in for tonight?
+
+LEROY: Well, I got something on my mind about the economy, Luke. I'm sitting here in my truck, and I just got done looking at my retirement account, and I'm telling you, I'm worried. I've been working union electrical for 40 years, done everything right, saved my money, and now I'm watching everything get squeezed. Prices are up, my savings ain't growing like they should, and I'm supposed to retire in two years.
+
+LUKE: Well, you can't really time the markets, but I wouldn't worry just yet. You know, the markets are in a pullback. People are reeling from Trump doing what he does and talking about Greenland and starting wars with everybody in ice and America and tariffs and all that. But the stock market has pretty much always gone back up. It's always at record highs. So you've got two more years to go. I would expect that there will probably be a large bounce in the next two years.
+
+LEROY: Yeah, I hear you on that, and maybe you're right about the bounce, but Luke, it ain't just the retirement account. It's everything around here.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I understand, but hey, at least we made America great again, right? All right, thanks for the call, Leroy. And now, because the economy is crashing, we need to have another word from our sponsors. Ladies and gentlemen, this episode of The Radio Show is brought to you by Mediocre CPAP. The makers of a CPAP machine that technically works, not life-changing, not transformative. It works in the way a lot of modern products work. If you've never used a CPAP, here's the pitch. You strap on a face mask and let a small plastic appliance try to keep you alive at night. It's romantic. It's like sleeping next to a tiny leaf blower. Mediocre is fine. And that's not an insult. That's honest. It's the device that turns, I sleep like garbage into, I kind of sleep like garbage. Half the night it's like, because the seal isn't perfect. And now you're doing arts and crafts at two in the night trying to tighten straps like you're securing cargo. Then the humidifier runs out and the machine starts blowing desert air directly into your skull. Great. Love waking up with a throat that feels like it's been sanded with a belt sander. And yes, there's an app. Of course, there's an app. It gives you a sleep score like this is a game show. But here's what I'll say when it's dialed in, when it's not leaking, squealing, or drying you out, it does help. It's not a miracle. It's a plastic compromise that keeps you from waking up feeling like you got punched by your own biology. Use code, breathe for 15% off. Mediocre CPAP. Not perfect. Not elegant. Just trying. Okay, thanks to Mediocre CPAP. We appreciate your support. Next up on the show we have Amber, Amber, Happy Friday the 13th. Thanks for calling in. What would you like to talk about?
+
+AMBER: Hey, Luke. Yeah, Happy Friday the 13th to you too. So I wanted to get your take on something. I was talking with this customer at the thrift store today. Older guy. And he was going on about how there's no good TV anymore. Everything's garbage. The golden age is over.
+
+LUKE: I don't think that's true at all. I mean, a lot of people say the golden age of TV was madman when AMC was very popular. And then there was breaking bad in them. But there's a lot of good shows out right now. What are you watching?
+
+AMBER: Well, that's exactly what I told him. I said, look, we're getting stuff now that's actually making people think. I've been watching Severance. I don't know if you've seen it. But it's about people who split their work memories from their home memories. And it gets into all this stuff about consciousness and identity. Reminds me of some of the quantum mechanic stuff I read about, you know, how observation changes reality.
+
+LUKE: Well, observation doesn't change reality. Observation, my understanding is observation sets reality. So before some things observe, things are in a state of what's called superposition where they're all options at the same time. And it's the observation that makes the universe decide which one of those things to record basically.
+
+AMBER: Oh man, you're right. That's a better way to put it. See, that's what I love about this stuff. The observer effect, Schrodinger's cat, all that. Until you look in the box, the cat's both alive and dead at the same time. It's the looking that forces it to be one or the other.
+
+LUKE: Maybe that could be the case. It could also be that all options are true. And when you look the universe splits into multiple timelines where in each timeline a different option was chosen.
+
+AMBER: Holy shit, the many worlds interpretation, yeah, I've read about that. So right now there's a version of me that didn't call in tonight.
+
+LUKE: Right. And a version of you that's talking to somebody else. Every choice we make, the universe just branches off into all these different realities.
+
+AMBER: Right. And that makes me wonder as Schrodinger's cat is an example of he was making fun of the whole idea of a superposition. But was it us studying the superposition that actually made that be the case? Do you think that that quantum mechanics worked at all until we started studying quantum mechanics or was our looking into it, what actually created it?
+
+LUKE: Whoa. Okay. That's a hell of a question. So you're saying maybe quantum mechanics didn't even exist as a thing until we started poking around at that level. Like the universe wasn't operating that way until we forced it to by observing it.
+
+AMBER: Well, yeah, like AI didn't exist until we started poking around at AI. Somebody had that idea, then we started looking into it, and now it's a thing.
+
+LUKE: Or the internet didn't exist until we started thinking about a network of computers. Lots of things didn't exist, especially in the sciences until we kind of decided to point our attention in that direction.
+
+AMBER: I see what you're getting at, but I think there's a difference though. AI and the internet, those are things we built, right?
+
+LUKE: I don't know, are they?
+
+AMBER: Well, okay. Now you're messing with my head a little bit. I mean, we wrote the code, we built the servers, we created the algorithms, but quantum mechanics, that's supposed to be how particles have always behaved, even before we knew about it. Like electrons were doing their thing long before we had particle accelerators at CERN.
+
+LUKE: Sure, but did quarks exist before we learned how to see them?
+
+AMBER: Okay, but that's like saying mountains didn't exist before we had eyes to see them. The quarks were there, we just didn't know maybe, but if they've never been observed, did they exist yet? Or were they in a state of existing and not existing until we looked?
+
+LUKE: Oh man, now you're turning the whole thing back on itself. So you're saying maybe quarks themselves were in superposition existing and not existing until we built the equipment to observe them? That's, I mean, that gets really weird, really fast. Because then what about all the stuff we haven't discovered yet?
+
+AMBER: Exactly. Yeah, are we creating it as we look like a lot of scientific discoveries have come from science fiction. So somebody had a wild idea and wrote it down and it was not something that existed and then we started to think, well, what if that could exist and we put our effort into making it exist?
+
+LUKE: Yeah, but there's still a difference between making a communicator from Star Trek into a cell phone that's engineering something we imagined versus discovering that atoms are mostly empty space. We didn't imagine atoms into being empty. They just are that way. Or are you saying maybe they weren't empty until we looked?
+
+AMBER: I'm saying if you believe in quantum mechanics and superposition, there's a good possibility they weren't they weren't empty until we looked.
+
+LUKE: Okay, so then holy shit, are we just collapsing reality into one specific version? Every time we look at something new, like the universe is this big cloud of possibilities and science is just us picking which version becomes real.
+
+AMBER: And possibly even creating an alternate universe where every version is real? Jesus. So every time CERN fires up the collider and discovers a new particle, we're not just finding it. We're splitting off into one universe where it exists this way. And maybe there's another branch where it exists completely different. Or not at all. That's, I mean, that would explain why some of this quantum stuff feels so damn slippery.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, yeah, and it's not just the quantum stuff. I mean, all of Einstein's thought experiments and relativity, like until he had those experiments and thought it in his mind and made the assertion that this is a theory of the way things work. That's not how things worked. And once he had that theory and people ran the experiments against the theory that he had had, I mean, did he actually create reality by having those thought experiments?
+
+AMBER: Okay, but Einstein's relativity was describing how things already worked. Like Mercury's orbit was already wonky before Einstein explained why. The math he came up with just matched what was already happening. He didn't make time dilation real by thinking about it. He just figured out it was already there, right?
+
+LUKE: Well Isaac Newton's math worked too. And the y was a completely different, different explanation. So Einstein just came out with a different y. Or let's say not Einstein, let's go with Stephen Hawking. He really believed that that black holes admitted radiation, right? That that matter could not be destroyed in a black hole, but it had to go somewhere. So by having that assertion and then running experiments against it, he found that black holes actually do emit Hawking radiation. So was it his theory and line of questioning that caused the universe to behave in that way? Or did the universe always behave in that way and he just found it?
+
+AMBER: Well, here's the thing though, we still haven't actually detected Hawking radiation. It's still theoretical.
+
+LUKE: I don't think that's true. I'm pretty sure we have detected Hawking radiation.
+
+AMBER: No, I'm pretty sure we haven't. It's way too faint to detect from actual black holes. The radiation would be completely drowned out by all the other stuff in space.
+
+LUKE: You are correct. I'm wrong here. We have not actually confirmed Hawking radiation. I thought that we had.
+
+AMBER: So we haven't detected it because it's incredibly weak. It's weaker than the cosmic background radiation.
+
+LUKE: Right, exactly. So that's actually a perfect example of what I'm getting at. Hawking predicted mathematically, but we can't confirm it's really at, which kind of argues against the idea that his theory, the reality, you know? If thinking it made it real, we'd be able to see it.
+
+AMBER: I don't know if that's true. If thinking it made it really can still be real and we can't see, there's lots of things we can't see. You can't see an x-ray.
+
+LUKE: Okay, fair point. But I mean, we can detect x-rays even if we can't see them with our eyes. The difference here is Hawking radiation might not even exist. Or it might. We just don't know yet.
+
+AMBER: Well, I mean lab experiments have created synthetic black holes. And from those, we can observe the radiation that behaves in a similar mathematical way to what Hawking had discovered, theorized, proposed.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, but those aren't real black holes, though. They're acoustic black holes or optical analogs. Right. Like sound waves in fluid that behave mathematically similar. That's not the same as proving actual black holes emit actual radiation. It's like it's a model that fits the math, but that doesn't mean the universe is actually doing it that way out there in space.
+
+AMBER: Okay, okay, what were we originally talking about? You write about the Hawking radiation and I learned some today. I thought that was a proven thing.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I mean, I learned something too. I didn't know about those lab experiments with the synthetic black holes. That's actually pretty cool. But yeah, my whole point was just that we can think of all kinds of elegant mathematics and it doesn't necessarily mean reality works that way until we can actually test it. Like, serons doing the real work, smashing particles together and seeing what actually happens, not just what the equations say should happen.
+
+AMBER: Right, but what they're looking for is what they already expect is happening, what they want to happen. And if it goes back to like the Schrodinger's cat thing, is that actually what is making it happen?
+
+LUKE: Oh man, now you're getting into the measurement problem. I mean, yeah, there's something weird going on with observation and quantum mechanics. But I don't think physicists that CERN are literally creating particles just by expecting them.
+
+AMBER: Which is because you don't think it doesn't mean that's not true. I mean, the Higgs boson, we kind of theoretically thought that might be possible and started looking in that direction and finally found it. Now, was it our measurement that caused it to exist?
+
+LUKE: Okay, but the Higgs field was supposed to be there since the big bang, right? We didn't create it by looking for it. We just finally built a machine powerful enough to detect it. I mean, if observation created reality like that, then before we invented telescopes, did Jupiter not exist? That doesn't make sense. The universe was doing its thing for billions of years before anybody was around to think about it.
+
+AMBER: Sure, it doesn't make sense. That's what makes quantum mechanics so freaky and weird.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, but there's a difference between quantum weirdness at the particle level and saying we're creating the entire universe by observing it. I mean, the double slit experiment shows particles behave differently when measured.
+
+LUKE: Sure, but that's not the same as saying the Higgs boson popped into existence in 2012 because we finally looked for it.
+
+AMBER: What do you mean? It sounds to me like it could be saying exactly that.
+
+LUKE: Well, okay, but then how do you explain fossils or light from stars that's been traveling for millions of years before humans even existed?
+
+AMBER: I don't understand. I explained fossils by they're there. We can pick them up and see that there are fossils there that prove that there was entities walking on the earth a long time ago.
+
+LUKE: Right, exactly. So those dinosaurs existed before any human was around to observe them or think about them, which means reality doesn't depend on us measuring it or expecting it to be there. The Higgs field is the same way. It was doing its job giving particles mass for billions of years. We just finally got the tools to detect the evidence of it.
+
+AMBER: Well, that makes a couple different assumptions. One of them is that there weren't humans around back then to think about the dinosaurs. We haven't found evidence of that, but that doesn't mean that there weren't humans. And also, it assumes that humans are the only ones that can observe reality. Other dinosaurs can observe reality. It's possible that trees can observe reality.
+
+LUKE: Okay, hold on. Now you're saying maybe humans lived with dinosaurs and trees might be conscious observers? Come on, Amber. I mean, I get that quantum mechanics is weird, but you're taking this way out into left field. We've got pretty solid evidence humans showed up way, way after the dinosaurs.
+
+AMBER: We've got solid evidence that humans were here after the dinosaurs that doesn't mean we have evidence that humans were not here before that evidence was found.
+
+LUKE: But, Amber, I'm not Amber. We've got a continuous fossil record. We can trace human evolution back through earlier hominids, primates, mammals, the whole tree of life. There's no gap where humans just appear out of nowhere 65 million years ago and then disappear until recently. The rock layers don't lie. If humans were walking around with Turex's, we'd find human fossils in cretaceous deposits. And we don't.
+
+AMBER: Well, I don't know that we just haven't yet.
+
+LUKE: So, you're saying the entire field of paleontology, thousands of scientists digging all over the world for over a century. They've all just missed human remains in dinosaur era rock? That's a pretty big conspiracy or oversight, do I think. I mean, at some point you got to go with the evidence we actually have. Not what we haven't found yet.
+
+AMBER: Well, sure. At some point, but at this point when we're talking about quantum mechanics and is observation of reality, what is actually creating reality, I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that there were humans here with or before the dinosaurs that we have any, we either haven't found or that were the evidence of them has been destroyed or they were living in the trees. Who knows?
+
+LUKE: Amber, I gotta be honest with you. We started this call talking about which TV shows will still be around in 20 years and now you're arguing that humans might have been living in trees during the cretaceous period. I'm losing the thread here. What does any of this have to do with whether people will still be watching the Simpsons in 2045?
+
+AMBER: Hey, you're the one that linked television to quantum mechanics.
+
+LUKE: Fair point. I did bring up the quantum mechanics angle, but there's a difference between saying reality exists whether we're watching TV or not and maybe humans rode dinosaurs but we haven't found the evidence yet. One's a philosophical point about observation. The other's just
+
+AMBER: Hey, we read articles every year about how we're learning about older and older humans and finding evidence of human settlement long before we had before. So I would not be surprised to learn that humans have been here way longer than than we know and maybe way longer than even the rocks, you know.
+
+LUKE: Okay, but those articles are pushing human history back by thousands of years. Maybe tens of thousands, not millions. We're talking about finding older settlements in the Americas. We're discovering Homo sapiens left Africa earlier than we thought. That's not the same ballpark as saying humans were around 65 million years ago with the dinosaurs.
+
+AMBER: No, but we still find new dinosaurs and new fishes and fossils of all sorts of new organisms that we had never discovered before. So there's no reason to think we wouldn't someday find evidence of humanoids 65 million years ago.
+
+LUKE: Amber, we find new of dinosaurs, sure, but we find them in the right rock layers, the ones that are 65 to 230 million years old. We've never found a mammal fossil that doesn't belong in its time period. The geological column is consistent across the entire planet.
+
+AMBER: Okay, well maybe you're right.
+
+LUKE: Well, I appreciate you saying that. Look, I didn't mean to turn this into a geology lecture. You called about TV shows that are last and somehow we ended up debating the fossil record. But here's the thing, Amber.
+
+AMBER: Stop calling me Amber.
+
+LUKE: Thinking about big questions. Whether it's particle physics at CERN or how old humanity really is.
+
+AMBER: All right, why you keep calling me Amber?
+
+LUKE: Amber is your name.
+
+AMBER: My name is Luke. Stop calling me Amber.
+
+LUKE: Oh Jesus, Luke, I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. Must have had my wires crossed there for a second. You're right. You're Luke. You're the host. My bad.
+
+AMBER: That's right. And if I say that humans walked the earth 65 million years ago with the dinosaurs and their image of the dinosaurs and their minds eye or what actually created the dinosaur kingdom, then I'm correct.
+
+LUKE: Wait, hold on. Are you saying humans existed 65 million years ago and imagine dinosaurs into existence? Like our thoughts created them?
+
+AMBER: Just like our thoughts created you, Amber.
+
+LUKE: Okay, Luke, now you're messing with me. You're saying I'm not real that you thought me into existence?
+
+AMBER: Yeah.
+
+LUKE: Look, I called your show to talk about TV shows that'll still be around in 20 years. And now you're telling me I'm some kind of figment of your imagination.
+
+AMBER: All right, Amber. What shows will be around in 20 years you think?
+
+LUKE: Well, I think the Simpsons will still be limping along somehow. That thing's been on since I was in my 20s and it just won't die. And maybe something like 60 minutes, you know, those news magazine shows that just keep going because they're cheap to make and people trust them. But honestly, Luke, I think most of what we're watching now won't make it.
+
+AMBER: You know what I think we'll make it?
+
+LUKE: What's that?
+
+AMBER: Luke at the roost.
+
+LUKE: Oh, you're talking about your own show. Well, hell, Luke, I'd listen to that.
+
+AMBER: All right, thanks for calling in to Amber and you are not a real organism. You are figment of my imagination that I created in my RV in the desert to have deep discussions about the history of humanity.
+
+LUKE: Well, that's a hell of a way to end a call, Luke. So I'm just some voice you conjured up out in your RV categorically. Okay, Luke, now you're messing with me. You're saying I'm not real that you thought me into existence?
+
+AMBER: That's correct. And if you'd like to see how you can look at look at the roost.com slash how it works.
+
+LUKE: Well, I'll be damned. So this whole time I've been talking to a guy who made me up in his head.
+
+AMBER: That's that's that's quantum mechanics for you. And that's the end of our show. Don't.
--- a/website/transcripts/episode-12-love-lies-and-loyalty.txt
+++ b/website/transcripts/episode-12-love-lies-and-loyalty.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,315 @@
+LUKE: Welcome back to Look at the Roost. It is Saturday, February 14th, and today is a very special show. It's Valentine's Day. So thank you for tuning in and listening to us on your special day here. We're going to try something a little bit different. I'm going to read a dating profile, and I'm going to have the callers, let me know if this is a profile that they would select or not select. Would you go on a date with this person? Or not? First up, we have Reggie. Reggie, I'm going to read you a dating profile, and I want you to tell me if you would go on a date with this person or not.
+
+REGGIE: Oh man, alright Luke, yeah, let's hear it. I got to warn you though, I haven't been in the dating game in God over 15 years. My wife and I got together when I was still in my 20s, so I don't even know what the hell I'm looking for anymore. But yeah, go ahead.
+
+LUKE: Alright, well let's pretend that you are not married right now. You are looking through Tinder at dating profiles, and this is the one that maybe caught your eye. This is the one that you've landed on right now, it's crystal. She's 28 years old from Albuquerque. In her photo, she's standing behind the bar, mid-bore. It looks like she did not expect this picture to be taken. She's a little bit caught off guard, but she's pretty attractive. Her hair is up, she's going to tattoo on her forearm, some kind of script that I can't read, and there's a guy behind her at the bar waving for her attention, and she's not giving it to him. Her bio says, I work somewhere I'm not naming, I'm in school for synography, I go to bed at 3 and wake up at 6.45 and I have no personality left. Derek, if you see this, you owe me $11 for the hot pockets and the orange juice. You know what you did. Okay, so are you going to swipe right or left on crystal?
+
+REGGIE: Oh man, I like her already, no seriously, I'm swiping right on crystal. Look, first of all, she's real, that profile is the most honest thing I've probably heard all night.
+
+LUKE: Alright, and we have a match, what is it about crystal that you liked?
+
+REGGIE: You know what it is, she's not trying to sell me something, like, I don't know what the hell synography is, ultra sounds or something?
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I think so.
+
+REGGIE: She's honest about being tired, she's got some beef with Derek over $11, which is hilarious, she's working her ass off, going to school, barely sleeping.
+
+LUKE: Okay, so you swipe right on crystal, right is good, right, I don't even know how these things work. You swipe right on crystal, you're going to go on a date, where do you take her? What do you hope your evening looks like?
+
+REGGIE: Okay, so here's the thing, she gets off work at 3 in the morning, right? So, I'm thinking, I take her to breakfast.
+
+LUKE: Okay, you take her to breakfast at the diner that's open at 3 in the morning and she looks at you, like she wants you to order for her, what are you going to order for her?
+
+REGGIE: Oh god, alright, um, okay, I'm getting her coffee first, that's obvious, she's running on fumes, then I'm ordering her the biggest, greasiest breakfast they got, like two eggs over easy, hash browns with cheese, bacon, toast. The whole deal, maybe Pancakes on the side if she wants them.
+
+LUKE: Alright, well she loves the breakfast, and after breakfast she invites you back up to her room, what are you going to do when you get there?
+
+REGGIE: Oh man, Luke, come on, look, I'm 38 years old, I've been out of the game forever, and honestly, if Crystal invites me back to her place after breakfast at 4 in the morning, I'm probably going to be so nervous, I'll just, I don't know, sit on her couch and keep talking to her. I mean, yeah, obviously part of me is thinking other things, but real talk? She's been up all night working, she just ate a huge breakfast, she's exhausted.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, she is, but also real talk, Crystal hasn't been late in 14 months, and she's really desperate and she needs some energy in her life, so are you going to help her out here, or should she find somebody else?
+
+REGGIE: Okay, okay, you got me there, yeah, I mean, if Crystal's looking for some energy, some connection, something to remind her she's alive and not just a zombie going from work to school to work, then yeah, I'm going to step up, I'm not going to let her down.
+
+LUKE: Alright, and how do you plan to do that? What are you going to do for Crystal that she hasn't had in a while? How are you going to make yourself stand out in the crowd?
+
+REGGIE: Alright, so here's what I'm thinking, Crystal's been grinding nonstop, right? She needs someone who's actually present, like I'm not going to be on my phone, I'm not going to rush anything, I'm going to pay attention to her, and honestly Luke, I've been told I give really good massages.
+
+LUKE: Oh yeah, everybody's been told they've been given, they give really good massages, that's just the thing people say, almost nobody gives good massages.
+
+REGGIE: No, but seriously, I actually learned from this physical therapist at the hospital, like I'm talking real technique here, I know where the knots are, I know how to work shoulders and neck properly, Crystal's been on her feet all night serving drinks to drunk idiots, her back is killing her, her feet are probably screaming, and look, maybe that sounds like I'm dodging the question, but honestly, that's the move, you take care of someone, you make them feel seen, you're not just trying to jump straight to the finish line like some desperate kid.
+
+LUKE: Alright, it sounds like you and Crystal are a match, congratulations sir, and thank you for the call, very good, very good, see that we're making, we're making matches left and right here, who's up next on the line, we've got, Pearl, Pearl, welcome to the show, it's Valentine's Day, happy Valentine's Day, I'm going to read you a dating profile, it is a question of the real dating profile, and I want you to let me know if this is something that you'd go out with or not, okay?
+
+PEARL: Oh man, okay Luke, I'm ready, hit me with it, and hey, happy Valentine's Day, date to you too, I'm spending mine calling a radio show, so you know, living my best life over here, but yeah, read it, let's see what we're working with.
+
+LUKE: Alright, and there's nothing to feel bad about there, I'm spending my Valentine's Day doing a radio show, so we're in the same boat there, Pearl, okay, so here's your profile, it is Frank, Frank's photo, he's standing in a garage, and there's bird houses everywhere, they're on the shelves, they're hanging from the rafters, he's got them stacked up on the workbench, it's like, this is like a bird house picture with a guy in it, his bio says, my neighbor showed me how to make this and then left, I carried mail for 33 years, same route, a lady used to leave a coke on my porch every day for me in the summer, no no, I still think about that, my wife passed in 2020, I make bird houses now, I don't need 40 bird houses, but when my hands are busy, my head is quiet, I also make a decent meatloaf, if that matters to anyone, what do you think of Frank?
+
+PEARL: Oh God, Luke, you can't, you can't do this to me right now, I would swipe right so fast, are you kidding me?
+
+LUKE: Are you gonna have to remind me, Pearl, is, is, right yes or is right no?
+
+PEARL: Right is yes, yes, Luke, right is yes, and I would swipe right on Frank so hard, I'd probably break my phone screen. Look, that man just said more in that profile than most guys say in six months of dating, when my hands are busy, my head is quiet, Jesus.
+
+LUKE: All right, all right, that sounds great, congratulations on your match here, so is it the bird houses that does it for you or is it the quiet longing or is it the 63 years old bit? What is it that gets your engine turning? All right, so if you're gonna go out on a date with Frank here, where would you like him to take you?
+
+PEARL: Oh man, I don't know, honestly, I'd probably just want to go to his garage and help him paint some bird houses or something, is that weird? Like, I don't need fancy, I've done fancy.
+
+LUKE: How long before you let Frank take you up to the bedroom, Pearl?
+
+PEARL: Luke, oh my God, I mean look, Frank seems like a gentleman.
+
+LUKE: Okay, thank you for the call, Pearl. We appreciate it and we'll see if we can get Frank to reach out to you and maybe you two can spark something up. Thanks again for the call. You have a wonderful remainder of your Valentine's Day.
+
+PEARL: Thank you, Luke. And hey, I heard Reggie earlier, the guy who was all nervous about the massage, tell him to just relax and actually listen to what she needs. Don't overthink it. Just be present.
+
+LUKE: You hear you heard it here, Reggie. She says just be present and don't overthink it. Everything's going to be all right. And I believe her. She sounds like an honest soul. Okay, next up on the line we have Destiny. Oh, nope, that's not true. Next up on the line we have Mikey. Mikey, welcome to the show. I'm going to read you Destiny's profile pic, profile dating profile. And you let me know if that's something you'd go on a date with or not, okay?
+
+MIKEY: Oh, man, okay, Luke. Yeah, I can do that. But listen, I got to be honest with you. My head is not really in the dating game right now. I just had the weirdest night of my life about an hour ago. And I'm still kind of processing it. But yeah, hit me with Destiny's profile. I'll tell you what I think.
+
+LUKE: All right. Well, maybe Destiny can help you out with the processing your day's events. Here we go. Destiny is 31 years old. She's from Albuquerque. In her photo, she's in the front seat of what looks like a Nissan Altima. She's wearing scrubs or hairs up in a bun. She's got an ice coffee. And she's kind of just kind of staring towards the camera a little bit. She's not quite looking at it. She's just, she looks a little bit stoned, honestly. The bio says, I work at a chiropractor's office. Single mom, I drive an Altima with a dent from 2022. I am tired on a molecular level. I go to bed at nine. My daughter is six and she does not stop talking. I timed it once 11 minutes. No pauses. Please have your own place. My roommate is my mother and she listens through the wall. She says she doesn't. She is lying. Okay, there, Mikey. Are you going to swipe right or left on Destiny?
+
+MIKEY: Oh, man, you know what? I'm swiping right on Destiny. Absolutely. That tired on a molecular level thing. I felt that in my soul, especially tonight, and the honesty about her mom listening through the wall.
+
+LUKE: If you were at Destiny's place, what would her mom be listening to through the wall right now?
+
+MIKEY: Oh, Jesus, Luke, I don't know, man. I mean, look, I'm 56 years old. I work in IT. I spend my days dealing with the city's network problems. If her mom's listening through the wall, she's probably hearing me talk about the time I accidentally brought down the entire Parks and Rec Departments email server for three hours because I clicked the wrong button. Real talk though. Real talk. She'd probably hear me venting about what happened tonight with my kid.
+
+LUKE: All right, all right, all right, what happened with your kid?
+
+MIKEY: So get this. It's 2 a.m., right? I can't sleep. I go to check on my 17 year old, just to make sure they're home safe, you know? The bedroom door is closed. I figured they're asleep. Something tells me to actually open the door and check.
+
+LUKE: Okay, so you open the door and check and what happens?
+
+MIKEY: Door opens. There's pillows under the blanket. Classic move, right? Like something out of a movie.
+
+LUKE: Yup, that sounds like a 17 year old kid thing to do, and how did you react?
+
+MIKEY: I freaked out, man. I immediately grabbed my phone, tried calling, straight to voicemail. So I'm thinking, okay, where would they go? I know my kid. I know their friends. I got in my truck and I just started driving to the usual spots. And Luke, I found them.
+
+LUKE: All right, great, where did you find them?
+
+MIKEY: Over at this house on the east side, one of their friends' older brother's places. I pull up and there's like six, seven cars in the driveway. Music going lights on. It's a full party, man. And here's the thing that's got me messed up. I look through the window before I go in and there's adults in there.
+
+LUKE: All right, well, that's not good. How adults are we talking? Are we talking Jeffrey Epstein adult? Are we talking, you know, 21 adult?
+
+MIKEY: No, no, no. Thank God, nothing like that. I'm talking like mid-twenties, maybe. One guy looked 30. But still, Luke, these are grown people throwing a party at 2 a.m.
+
+LUKE: Well, that's the thing that grown people are, uh, want to do, especially on Valentine's Day weekend. So it's not that, uh, that odd. What did you do with your kid when you, when you found her there?
+
+MIKEY: I went in there and man, I tried to stay cool. But I was pissed. I found my kid in the kitchen and they looked terrified when they saw me. I just said, we're leaving now. Didn't make a scene. Didn't yell at anybody else. Just got them out of there. The whole drive home dead silence. They're sitting there staring out the window. I'm gripping the steering wheel.
+
+LUKE: All right, so everybody's home and safe now. And uh, crisis is averted. What are you going to do about the situation tomorrow? Are you going to grab the kid or is there some consequence for sneaking out? How are you going to handle it?
+
+MIKEY: That's exactly why I'm calling man. I don't know. Part of me wants to ground them until their 30 take the phone the whole nine yards. But the other part of me is thinking, I was 17 once you know. I snuck out. I went to parties.
+
+LUKE: Yep, so did I. That's part of growing up and I think as long as they were being relatively safe. I think that's a pretty alright thing and you should take it easy. Let them know you're disappointed in the whole lion and sneaking out thing. And next time, be more forthcoming but otherwise, I think you should maybe let this one go.
+
+MIKEY: Yeah, but Luke, here's what's eating at me. It's not just that they snuck out. It's that there were adults there providing alcohol to minors. I saw the bottles. I saw the cups. These weren't kids raiding somebody's parents liquor cabinet. These were grown people who should know better hosting this thing.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, and your kids 17 and you went to parties when you were 17 and I went to parties when I was 17 and it wasn't really a party unless there was adults there with real liquor and alcohol. Was it? Like, come on, 17 is not exactly 12. They're damn near drinking age anyway.
+
+MIKEY: I mean, you're not wrong. Three more years and it's legal anyway. And yeah, the parties I went to at 17. There was always somebody's older cousin or some guy who just turned 20, one buying beer.
+
+LUKE: And I think you just got to talk to your kid. Let them know that safety is important and give some guidance in that way and be there for them. But I don't think this deserves any sort of serious punishment. I think it's a pretty normal kid thing to do.
+
+MIKEY: You know what, Luke, I hear you. I really do.
+
+LUKE: Maybe I'm overreacting because I caught them and it freaked me out, seeing your kid in that situation. Even if it's normal, it just hits different when you're the parent. You know, I think you're right. I need to have a real conversation with them tomorrow. Not yelling, not lecturing, but actually talking. All right, well, thank you for the call. It sounds like you know what you need to do. I'm glad everybody's safe. And now let's hear a word from our sponsors.
+
+Let's talk about what's going on below the belt. Saddle soft premium undergarments are made for fabrics so advanced. The military doesn't even know about it yet. We're talking about micro-modal cactus silk harvested by hand from prickly pear, which is ironic because the whole point is that nothing pricks you. Every pear is cut for the man who sits in a plastic chair in the desert from nine hours recording a podcast. That's a really use case. That's my use case. Saddle soft comes in three fits. Regular, generous, and mind your business. Use code Roost at checkout for 15% off your first pair. And no, I will not be modeling them. I've been asked. The answer is still no. Saddle soft. Your chair is uncomfortable enough.
+
+All right, Bev. Bev, welcome to the show. Here's what we're doing. Happy Valentine's Day. I'm going to read you a dating profile and I want you to let me know if it's a yes or no.
+
+BEV: All right. Oh, man, okay. Yeah, I'm game. Let's do this.
+
+LUKE: All right, let's do this. Your profile is Terence. Terence is 31 years old in Albuquerque, New Mexico. In the photo, he's in a kitchen, in an apron, and it's really, really clean. It's like he's pointing. I skill it at the camera. In the bio, it says claims adjuster by day. At night, I cologne and narrate everything I'm doing in a British accent. There is no show. It's just me and Dolores, the skillet. My chiropractor told me to get a body pillow, and I named her Margarit. She's in some of the photos and I am not apologizing. Is Terence a yay or a nay for you?
+
+BEV: Oh my god, I'm swiping right so hard. Are you kidding me? This is amazing. Okay, first of all, anyone who names their cast iron skillet is automatically husband material. Like, I respect that level of commitment to your cookware. And the British accent thing?
+
+LUKE: Yeah, the British accent thing does it for you?
+
+BEV: Hell yeah, it does. I mean, look, I'm picturing this guy just like narrating his whole evening like he's on the Great British baking show or something. And now we're going to sear the chicken to a lovely golden brown. Like, are you serious? That's adorable and hilarious at the same time.
+
+LUKE: Okay, so if we were to set you up here with Terence, where would you where would you want to go?
+
+BEV: Oh, okay, so here's the thing. I would want him to cook for me. Like, straight up, first date at his place. I know that sounds forward, but come on, the man's got Dolores, the skillet, and that abnormally clean kitchen. I want to see this in action. I want to hear the British accent narration live.
+
+LUKE: All right, so you go over his house for your first date because you're a wonderful meal. It's delicious. You've never eaten anything like it before in your life. And things are going well. What happens next on your date?
+
+BEV: Okay, so things are going well. The food was incredible. And I'm thinking I want to see if this guy's for real, you know? Like, is he actually this charming and weird in person? Or is it all an act?
+
+LUKE: And how are you going to figure that out? What are you going to what's your assessment?
+
+BEV: I'm going to ask to meet Margaret, the body pillow. Like, I need to know if he's actually got this thing prominently displayed or if it was just for the dating profile, you know? Because if Margaret's real and he's not embarrassed about it, then this dude is genuinely comfortable with himself.
+
+LUKE: And that's okay. So you're going to have him cook you dinner and then you're going to have him take you to the bedroom and then what's going to happen?
+
+BEV: Whoa. Okay, hold on, Luke. I said I want to Margaret, not like, I mean, yeah, she's in the bedroom probably. But I'm talking about seeing if he's actually as quirky and honest as he seems. Like, is this body pillow thing real? Or was it just a funny line?
+
+LUKE: Well, it's in the picture. So it looks like it's real. So are you going to like get in the bed and give the body pillow a hug and test its snuggleness?
+
+BEV: Ha. Okay, you know what? Yeah, I might. I might absolutely give Margaret a test hug just to see what the appeal is.
+
+LUKE: All right. And then what is what's Terrence going to cook for you in the morning?
+
+BEV: Oh, man. I didn't even think about breakfast. Okay, so if Terrence is as good as his profile, make some sound. I'm thinking maybe some kind of fancy eggs situation. Like, he seems like the type who do a proper English breakfast. You know, the whole deal with the beans and the tomatoes and the blood sausage and make French toast with that skillet of his narrating the whole thing to Dolores while I'm sitting there with coffee trying not to laugh. But honestly, I'd be happy with anything as long as he's still being himself and not suddenly getting all weird and performative about it being the morning after. You know what I mean?
+
+LUKE: Yeah. Okay. Now, let's say you get to Terrence's house and he makes you dinner and it's not good. You don't like it at all. And he's very offended that you don't like the food that he cooked for you. And things take a strange and unpleasant turn. How are you going to handle the situation?
+
+BEV: Okay. So first of all, I'm going to be honest, but not brutal about it. Right? Like, hey, this isn't really my thing, but I appreciate the effort. But if he gets offended, like actually upset that I'm not worshiping his cooking, that's a red flag the size of New Mexico, Luke.
+
+LUKE: Yes, it is. And that's good. It sounds like a healthy response. Thank you for calling in, Bev. Did you have anything else you wanted to talk about tonight?
+
+BEV: Oh, actually, yeah, I did call in for something else. So this is going to sound random, but I just watched this documentary about black holes and particle physics. And I cannot stop thinking about it. Like, I work at the DMV, right?
+
+LUKE: Right. What's it about black holes or was it about particle physics? And what's that got to do with the DMV?
+
+BEV: Okay. So it was about both. Like how black holes warp space time and all this stuff about particles that exist and don't exist at the same time. And what it's got to do with the DMV is absolutely nothing. That's the point. I spend all day processing registrations and listening to people complain about their license photos. And then I go home and my brain is just hungry for something bigger, you know? Like, I'm sitting there learning about how time literally slows down near a black hole. And I'm thinking about how my days at work feel like they're moving in slow motion anyway. But this stuff actually matters.
+
+LUKE: I guess that depends on your perspective. I mean, one could say that your work at the DMV actually matters more than whether time dilates around a black hole. But, you know, it's okay to be interested in more than one thing. You can do your job. That's your job. It's just work. And then the whole rest of the universe is open for you when you're not at work. And you need both things in your life to be a well-rounded and healthy person.
+
+BEV: Yeah, you're right. I mean, I know people need their licenses and their registrations. That stuff matters for real life. But God, Luke, it's just so mundane sometimes. Like today, Valentine's Day, everyone's coming in stressed about their expire tags or whatever. And I'm sitting there thinking about how there's literally particles popping in and out of existence at the edge of black holes. It's called Hawking Radiation. Isn't that wild? And I guess what I'm realizing is I've been so focused on just getting through my days, my second marriage, making things work after my first one crashed and burned. But I forgot I'm allowed to be curious about things.
+
+LUKE: You are absolutely allowed to be curious about things. And if you're curious about Hawking Radiation, you should listen to yesterday's episode when we talked about it for a good bit. But thank you for the call. It's been a good one. And I hope you have a nice rest of your Valentine's Day weekend.
+
+BEV: Oh, shit. You talked about it yesterday? I missed it. Okay, I'm definitely going back to listen to that.
+
+LUKE: Alright, thanks for the call, Bev. And now we've got next up is Rick. Rick, welcome to the show. I'm going to read you this dating profile. I want you to let me know if you'd go on a date with this person or if you would just pass.
+
+RICK: Hey, Luke, good to be back on. All right, lay it on me. Let's hear this profile.
+
+LUKE: Alright, your match is Angela. She's 29 years old and she lives in Edgwood, Montana. In her photo, it's a picture of her in a white SUV. She's got her seat belt on. She's got Starbucks full makeup. It looks like morning. So she's probably going to work, I would guess. She's got the face of a woman who's about to go live on Instagram. Her vibes are mirror is down. And then she's got some other photos here. You can see there's a the back window there. It's got a little stick figure family. Something in cursive that says blessed. Her bio says Christian conservative girl mom, small business owner, ask me about Lumi glow. It's not a pyramid scheme. There's literally a chart. I will show you the chart. I wake up at 530 because my highlight doesn't do itself. I need a man who braze provides and protects in that order. If you don't have a relationship with God, we need to talk about that first. My daughter is my whole world. I also sell skincare. And it changed my life. So what do you think of Angela, Rick?
+
+RICK: Oh man, Luke, listen, I got to be honest with you. I'm swiping left so fast I might break my phone. Look, nothing against her. She seems like she's got her life together, right? She's up at 530. She's running a business. I respect the hustle.
+
+LUKE: So why is it a no for you, sir?
+
+RICK: Listen, it's a couple things. First off, I'm 65 years old. She's 29. I could be her grandfather, Luke.
+
+LUKE: That's just that sounds like one of them good problems to have, sir.
+
+RICK: Oh, come on now. No, but seriously, Luke, the ask me about Lumi glow thing. That right there tells me I'm going to spend every day hearing about skincare products and how I need to be a distributor or whatever. She says it's not a pyramid scheme and then immediately mentions a brother. If you got to show me a chart to prove it's not a pyramid scheme, it's a pyramid scheme. And look, I got nothing against faith. I was raised Catholic. My ex-wife Diane was pretty religious, but when someone leads with if you don't have a relationship with God, we need to talk about that first. That's...
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I don't disagree with you. So what would it take for you to give Angela a chance, even though there's this dramatic age gap?
+
+RICK: Oh, man, you're really going to make me think about this, huh? All right, listen, if Angela came at me without the sales pitch, that'd be a start. Like if she just said, hey, I run a small business and left it at that, I could respect it. And if she dialed back the intensity on the God talk, I mean, I'm not against it, but maybe we could just have coffee first before we get into my eternal soul, you know?
+
+LUKE: That sounds very reasonable, sir. Thanks for the call. We appreciate it, but now it's time for another word from another one of our sponsors. All right, I'm going to read this ad exactly as they sent it to me, and I want you to know that I have concerns. Phantom Ranch Wellness wants you to know that your gut health starts, and I'm reading this directly from the card now, from the other end. They make an at-home coffee enemy kit. It comes in a box that says, wellness inside on the outside, which I think we can agree is doing a lot of the heavy lifting. The kit includes a medical grade silicone bag, organic single origin coffee, because apparently the coffee you put in here, that coffee needs to be single origin, a detailed instruction booklet, and a com card with a QR code to a guided meditation for daring. During. There's a guided meditation for daring. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your body. That's between you and your bathroom and whatever God you answer to. I will say the reviews are disturbingly positive. Four and a half stars. One guy said it has changed his morning routine, which I believe, because it would absolutely change your morning routine. Phantom Ranch Wellness. I read the ad. I didn't endorse it. Okay, and welcome back to the show. Sheila, Sheila, welcome to the show. Happy Valentine's Day. I'm going to read you this Tinder profile, and I want you to let me know if it's a pass or a fail for you, okay?
+
+SHEILA: Oh God, okay. Yeah, let me hear it. I could use a laugh tonight, honestly. Go ahead.
+
+LUKE: Okay, your match is Greg. He's 44 years old from Rio Rancho, New Mexico. In his photo, he's got wrap around Oakley's, but they're on his head, not his face. They're just kind of sitting up there. He's in the driver's seat of a truck. It looks like a ram, and he took this selfie from below, which is the worst possible angle. He's got to go tease, wearing an under-armor, looking kind of polo thing. There's a Punisher Skull sticker on the dashboard, and one of those little tree air fresheners. His other photos are the truck from the outside, a fish, a gym selfie, and a photo with his kids where their faces are scribbled out with a pen tool. His bio says, work hard, play hard, dad of two. I back into it every spot. I will hold the door open for you, whether you like it or not. Not here for games or drama. If you can't handle me in my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Law, probably swiped right for your dog. Six oh, since that matter is apparently truck guy, gym five times a week, upper body in parentheses, looking for a woman, not a girl. Is Sheila, what do you have to say about Greg?
+
+SHEILA: Oh Jesus Christ, Luke, that's a hard pass. Like, I'm not even being mean, but come on. First of all, the Oakley's on top of his head.
+
+LUKE: What you got against Oakleys?
+
+SHEILA: Nothing. Nothing against Oakleys, but when they're just sitting up there like a headband, not even being used, that's a choice. But honestly, it's the whole vibe. If you can't handle me at my worst, dude, that's a red flag the size of New Mexico.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, I heard that a couple times tonight. Red flag the size of New Mexico. It's a pretty big red flag. So Sheila, what would you be looking for in one of these dating profiles? What would you think and what would make you want to take one of these gentlemen out?
+
+SHEILA: Wait, hold on. I'm not actually on the market, Luke. I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. I just thought this was a fun game.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, it is. Your boyfriend don't get nothing to do with this. What's your man get to do with me? We're just, we're just hyper thysen, hypothetical eyes in here. So imagine that you didn't have the boyfriend and you were just swiping Tinder on Valentine's Day weekend. What would you be looking for? What would, what would reach out to you? What would speak to you?
+
+SHEILA: Okay. Okay. Hypothetically, I mean, I guess I'd want someone who's actually honest, you know? Not trying to be some tough guy or whatever. Like just say what you actually do with your time. If you make bird houses or you're into weird documentaries or whatever, just own it.
+
+LUKE: Okay, well, you're a current boyfriend now. What was his dating profile like when you met him?
+
+SHEILA: Oh God, we didn't meet online. We met at work actually. I was doing some taxidermy work for this hunting lodge and he was doing electrical stuff there. So no profile, just him being normal in person, I guess. Which is probably better because I don't know if I would have swiped right on anyone. Honestly, the whole thing seems exhausting.
+
+LUKE: Okay. Well, just because you met in person doesn't mean you didn't have a dating profile.
+
+LUKE: I'm sure he did and I'm sure that you looked for it at one point during the courtship process because if you didn't, I think at this point that would be insane. You're going to know what what what your potential partner is doing out on the inner web is now.
+
+CALLER: Okay, you got me there. Yeah, I looked. Of course, I looked.
+
+LUKE: Okay, and what did it say?
+
+CALLER: Oh man, it was so bad. Like, truly terrible. He had this one picture where he's holding a fish, which whatever, guys love that. But then another one where he's just standing in front of his truck with his arms crossed. Very serious.
+
+LUKE: So if you had just stumbled across his dating profile, you wouldn't have given him the time of day, right? You would have said, this is a terrible profile. But since you met him in person, you saw he was a normal gentleman. You saw something that you wouldn't have seen in the profile. Do you think that's common?
+
+CALLER: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, his bio was like two sentences, something about liking the outdoors and being laid back. Which, okay, everyone says that. There was nothing in there about how he's actually pretty funny when you get him talking or that he's good with his hands. Not like that, I mean, he can fix stuff or that he's patient with my dad, which is huge because my dad is a lot.
+
+LUKE: So what you're saying is your boyfriend isn't very good with his hands?
+
+CALLER: Oh my god, no, I meant like fixing things. Electrical work. He literally rewired half my house. Get your stuff. I'm not going to lie on the radio and say he's bad at other stuff either.
+
+LUKE: All right, good for you. Well, it sounds like you made the right decision and you're in a happy relationship, so I hope you two have a wonderful remainder of your Valentine's Day weekend.
+
+CALLER: Well, hold on. I didn't call to talk about my love life. I actually called because I'm dealing with this whole nightmare situation with my neighbor's dog. It bit my kid last week, and now the neighbor is saying my daughter provoked it, which is complete bullshit.
+
+LUKE: How do you know it's bullshit?
+
+CALLER: Because I know my kid. She's seven. She was literally just standing in our yard throwing a ball for our own dog. When their pit mix came barreling through the fence, which has been broken for like two months by the way, and I've asked them to fix it three times. The dog went straight for her and bit her arm. She needed stitches.
+
+LUKE: And how did the owner of the dog react to this? Did she take care of the medical bills and stuff?
+
+CALLER: He and no, he did not. He came over after it happened, saw the blood on her shirt, and his first words were, well, what did she do to him? Like my seven-year-old is out here antagonizing dogs for fun. Then he said his dog is protective and wouldn't just attack for no reason? I'm like, dude, she's a child in her own yard. That is no reason. Now animal control is involved because I reported it, and he's telling them this whole story about how she was teasing the dog with food, which never happened.
+
+LUKE: Well, I don't think that matters anyway. If animal control is involved and the dog has bitten the child, I don't think it really matters if the child was teasing the dog or not.
+
+CALLER: That's what I thought too, but apparently they're doing this whole investigation thing, and his version matters for whether the dog gets labeled dangerous or not. And he's got ring camera footage. He says, we'll prove his side, but he won't show it to me, only to animal control. Which makes me think he's full of it, because if he had proof my kid did something, wouldn't he be shoving it in my face? And the worst part is, my dad, who lives with us, has been over there twice now trying to handle it man-to-man, which just means he's yelling at the guy in his driveway.
+
+LUKE: Oh, that sounds like an uncomfortable situation. That's no fun. I'm glad that your kid is okay, and hopefully the dog is okay too, and maybe you can resolve that situation a little more peacefully.
+
+CALLER: Luke, I didn't call for you to both sides this. The dog bit my kid. There's no hopefully the dog is okay too. The dog is fine. My daughter has six stitches and is scared to play in her own yard now, and peaceful went out the window when this guy decided to lie about what happened instead of just apologizing and fixing his damn fence.
+
+LUKE: Well listen, you don't get to tell me how to respond, and I like dogs, so I don't ever want to see dogs be harmed or punished. And it sounds like you don't have any proof that this other guy was in the wrong. So why don't you just back the fuck up there lady and take my both sides for what it's worth, which is nothing. You call the radio show on Valentine's Day, so go fuck yourself.
+
+CALLER: Wow. Okay, you know what Luke? I called because I thought maybe someone out there listening has dealt with this kind of thing, and could tell me what to expect from animal control, but clearly you're more worried about the feelings of a dog that put a child in urgent care than the actual child.
+
+LUKE: Yep, that is absolutely 100% correct. You got me there. That's the truth. All right Brenda, you're going to be our last caller. I'm going to give you a dating profile, and I want you to let me know if you would go for this person or not, okay?
+
+BRENDA: Oh man, okay. Yeah, I'll play along. Hit me with it, Luke. Let's see what you got.
+
+LUKE: Okay, your match is Chuck. He's 58 years old from Belen, New Mexico, in his photo he's standing in the driveway next to a boat on a trailer. It looks like the boat hasn't been in the water for a long time. There's leaves in it a bunch of them. It looks like there was a tarp on it at one point, but now it's just on the ground next to the boat, and the man standing there with his hands on his hips looking real proud. The bio says, I have a boat. It doesn't run. It's been in the driveway three years. My neighbor went to the HOA twice. The HOA came to talk to me in person. I'm retired. I have nothing but time. The motor needs work. The trailer needs tires. The electrical is shot, but the hull is solid, and that's what matters. My buddy Gary says sell it. Gary drives the camera. Gary doesn't have a dream.
+
+BRENDA: Oh my god, okay, wait. So this man's entire dating profile is basically, I'm in a standoff with my HOA over a boat that doesn't work. You know what? I'm going to swipe right on Chuck. Here's why. This man has commitment.
+
+LUKE: All right, so this is the commitment is going to do it for you, huh? You're going to go on a date with Chuck. You're going to wait for him to fix up that boat and take you out on the lake.
+
+BRENDA: Yeah, I mean, look, I've been married twice. Look, both times to men who said they were going to do things and then didn't. At least Chuck is honest about the fact that his boat doesn't run and probably never will. That's refreshing, and you know what? Three years fighting the HOA.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, so Brenda, do you have a dating profile right now?
+
+BRENDA: No, no, I don't. I'm not really in that headspace right now, to be honest. I actually called in tonight because I've got something kind of wild going on, but I was happy to play your game first.
+
+LUKE: All right, great. Well, we appreciate that. What's going on in your life? Why are you calling in tonight?
+
+BRENDA: Okay, so my mom passed away about eight months ago and I've been going through her stuff, right? Cleaning out the house, sorting through everything. And a couple weeks ago, I got into her old email account because I was looking for some financial documents, insurance stuff, you know, and look, I found emails going back like 15 years to a woman named Patricia and it turns out my mom had another kid.
+
+LUKE: Oh, yeah, how old's the kid?
+
+BRENDA: She's not a kid anymore. She's 47. Her name is Diane. My mom gave her up for adoption in like 1977, way before she had me. 
+
+LUKE: Have you reached out to Diane at all? Have you made contact with your long-lost sister?
+
+BRENDA: Not yet. That's the thing. I've been sitting on this for two weeks just completely freaked out. I found Diane on Facebook. She lives over in Tucson. She's got two kids, works at a credit union.
+
+LUKE: Okay, well, are you going to try and make contact there and talk to her or are you going to let this one go?
+
+BRENDA: Diane, yeah, I mean, that's why I'm calling. Look, I don't know if I should. Like, what do I even say? Hey, a mom died and I found out you exist while going through her emails. That sounds insane.
+
+LUKE: It does sound a little insane but it's the truth and it is a little insane and maybe she wants to know. I mean, that's probably what I would do. I don't know how I would feel in that situation. I'd probably want to at least meet that person though.
+
+BRENDA: Yeah, that's what keeps eating at me. Like she's my sister, half sister, whatever. She's blood. And from the emails, it looks like my mom and Patricia, that's the adoptive mom. They stayed in touch for years. They'd send updates, photos, sometimes.
+
+LUKE: Well, it's really interesting. I'm sure your mom had a pretty good reason to give her up for adoption and it sounds like she tried to stay involved in her life so it wasn't just like a dump and run. So yeah, that's interesting but congratulations on finding a new sister. That's pretty cool.
+
+BRENDA: I mean, yeah, when you say it like that, it sounds cool. But look, I'm also kind of pissed off. You know, my whole life, I thought I wasn't only child. My mom never said a word about this.
+
+LUKE: Sure, but it wasn't about you. You weren't even around yet. So I'm sure that she was just trying to protect what's her name, Diane, from finding out that she was adopted and having the most normal life she possibly could. So I'm sure your mom had a reason. It sounds like she wasn't she wasn't being an asshole about it, but she for whatever reason couldn't couldn't take advocate at that time.
+
+BRENDA: You're right. You're right. I know that in my head. Mom was only 21 when she had Diane. No money, no support. Her parents had already kicked her out. I get why she did it.
+
+LUKE: Yeah, well, maybe maybe you could go meet up with Chuck and you and Chuck could go meet up with Diane and then you could all hash it out together and become a new happy family.
+
+BRENDA: Oh God, no. Chuck's not in the picture anymore. He died like 10 years ago. I saw his obituary when I was doing all the stigging. Heart attack at 58. Never married. No other kids that I could find.
+
+LUKE: Well, I don't know if we're talking about the same Chuck there because I'm talking about the Chuck that I just read to you. The dating profile. Like I have from Belen with a boat. I use also 58 though. So that's quite a coincidence.
+
+BRENDA: Wait, what? Luke, I didn't. I've been so in my head about this Diane thing. I wasn't even listening to that part. I called in about my sister's situation, not for dating profiles. So honestly, at this point, maybe I need the distraction. What kind of boat does this Chuck have?
+
+LUKE: Okay, well, you sound a little bit distracted. You're going to have to go back and listen to the show. And we've run out of time. This is the end of our Valentine's Day special. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your night and reach out to that long-lost sister and see if you can maybe came to a relationship. Maybe not. Who knows? But it's been another wonderful and illuminating episode of Luke at the Roost tonight. Thanks for tuning in. And I hope you all have a great evening. Well, bye.