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+1
-1
@@ -1 +1 @@
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2c7fcdb5aecbb0d3bf039abab9e723d62bc8fe1a
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5f7e3e7
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+17
@@ -65,3 +65,20 @@ upload-history.json
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# Scratch/smoke tests (not committed)
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# Scratch/smoke tests (not committed)
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scratch/
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scratch/
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# Generated media and model weights (~13GB — never commit)
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clips/
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music/
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mlx_models/
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remotion-demo/
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social_posts/
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# Generated analytics artifacts (rebuilt from cost_tracker)
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data/costs.db
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data/cost_reports/
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# Generated caller avatars
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data/avatars/
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# Reaper waveform peak cache
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reaper/peaks/
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@@ -38,13 +38,13 @@ Required in `.env`:
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## LLM Settings
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## LLM Settings
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- `_pick_response_budget()` in main.py controls caller dialog token limits (150-450 tokens). MiniMax respects limits strictly — if responses seem short, check these values.
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- `_pick_response_budget()` in main.py controls caller dialog token limits (150-450 tokens). MiniMax respects limits strictly — if responses seem short, check these values.
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- Default max_tokens in llm.py is 300 (for non-caller uses)
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- Default max_tokens in llm.py is 300 (for non-caller uses)
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- Grok (`x-ai/grok-4-fast`) works well for natural dialog; MiniMax tends toward terse responses
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- Grok (`x-ai/grok-4.3`) works well for natural dialog; MiniMax tends toward terse responses. Note `grok-4`, `grok-4-fast` and `grok-4.1-fast` were retired from OpenRouter — a retired id 404s, and `llm.py` swallows the error and returns empty text, so callers go silent with nothing in the logs. `tests/test_model_config.py` guards against reintroducing them.
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- `generate_with_tools()` in llm.py supports OpenRouter function calling for the intern feature
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- `generate_with_tools()` in llm.py supports OpenRouter function calling for the intern feature
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## Caller Generation System
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## Caller Generation System
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- **Two-stage pipeline**: (1) batch identity pregen via Sonnet 4.6 at session start, (2) live dialog via Haiku 4.5 per turn. Cost ~$1/show.
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- **Two-stage pipeline**: (1) batch identity pregen via Sonnet 4.6 at session start, (2) live dialog via Sonnet 4.6 per turn. Cost ~$3-4/show.
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- **Slim caller dict**: Populated once at `Session._pregenerate_backgrounds()` via `caller_gen.generate_batch()`. Keys: `name`, `age`, `voice`, `location`, `identity`, `situation`, `reason_calling`, `opening_line`, `secret_want`, `specific_details`, `emotional_register`. Stored in `session.caller_backgrounds[caller_key]`.
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- **Slim caller dict**: Populated once at `Session._pregenerate_backgrounds()` via `caller_gen.generate_batch()`. Keys: `name`, `age`, `voice`, `location`, `identity`, `situation`, `reason_calling`, `opening_line`, `secret_want`, `specific_details`, `emotional_register`. Stored in `session.caller_backgrounds[caller_key]`.
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- **Dialog model**: Always Haiku 4.5 via the `caller_dialog` category in `config.category_models`. No per-caller model routing — deleted in Phase 5B.
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- **Dialog model**: Always Sonnet 4.6 via the `caller_dialog` category in `config.category_models`. No per-caller model routing — deleted in Phase 5B.
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- **Prompt builder**: `get_caller_prompt(caller)` in main.py builds the slim system prompt from the dict; see `tests/test_caller_prompt.py` for the contract.
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- **Prompt builder**: `get_caller_prompt(caller)` in main.py builds the slim system prompt from the dict; see `tests/test_caller_prompt.py` for the contract.
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- **Regulars**: `backend/services/regulars_v2.py` loads lore from Obsidian markdown files for named recurring callers (e.g. Silas). The batch prompt optionally includes 2-3 active regulars per session.
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- **Regulars**: `backend/services/regulars_v2.py` loads lore from Obsidian markdown files for named recurring callers (e.g. Silas). The batch prompt optionally includes 2-3 active regulars per session.
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- **Inter-caller awareness**: `get_show_history()` scores previous callers by keyword overlap with the current caller's `situation`/`reason_calling`. Reaction frequency scales with match strength (60%/35%/15%).
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- **Inter-caller awareness**: `get_show_history()` scores previous callers by keyword overlap with the current caller's `situation`/`reason_calling`. Reaction frequency scales with match strength (60%/35%/15%).
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@@ -55,6 +55,7 @@ Required in `.env`:
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- **Service**: `backend/services/intern.py` — persistent show character, not a caller
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- **Service**: `backend/services/intern.py` — persistent show character, not a caller
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- **Personality**: 23-year-old NMSU grad, eager, slightly incompetent, gets yelled at. Voice: "Nate" (Inworld), no phone filter.
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- **Personality**: 23-year-old NMSU grad, eager, slightly incompetent, gets yelled at. Voice: "Nate" (Inworld), no phone filter.
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- **Tools**: web_search (SearXNG), get_headlines, fetch_webpage, wikipedia_lookup — via `generate_with_tools()` function calling
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- **Tools**: web_search (SearXNG), get_headlines, fetch_webpage, wikipedia_lookup — via `generate_with_tools()` function calling
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- **SearXNG**: runs on the NAS (`http://mmgnas:8888`), deployed via `deploy_searxng.sh`. URL is `settings.searxng_url` (env `SEARXNG_URL`). If Devon's web_search returns "Search failed", check the `searxng` container on mmgnas is Up. The config enables the JSON API + disables the bot limiter — both required for programmatic queries.
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- **Endpoints**: `POST /api/intern/ask`, `/interject`, `/monitor`, `GET /api/intern/suggestion`, `POST /api/intern/suggestion/play`, `/dismiss`
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- **Endpoints**: `POST /api/intern/ask`, `/interject`, `/monitor`, `GET /api/intern/suggestion`, `POST /api/intern/suggestion/play`, `/dismiss`
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- **Auto-monitoring**: Watches conversation every 15s during calls, buffers suggestions for host approval
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- **Auto-monitoring**: Watches conversation every 15s during calls, buffers suggestions for host approval
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- **Persistence**: `data/intern.json` stores lookup history
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- **Persistence**: `data/intern.json` stores lookup history
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+6
-2
@@ -27,6 +27,10 @@ class Settings(BaseSettings):
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submissions_imap_user: str = os.getenv("SUBMISSIONS_IMAP_USER", "")
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submissions_imap_user: str = os.getenv("SUBMISSIONS_IMAP_USER", "")
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submissions_imap_pass: str = os.getenv("SUBMISSIONS_IMAP_PASS", "")
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submissions_imap_pass: str = os.getenv("SUBMISSIONS_IMAP_PASS", "")
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# SearXNG (Devon's web search + caller news grounding) — runs on the NAS.
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# Override with SEARXNG_URL in .env (e.g. http://localhost:8888 for a local container).
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searxng_url: str = os.getenv("SEARXNG_URL", "http://mmgnas:8888")
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# LLM Settings
|
# LLM Settings
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llm_provider: str = "openrouter" # "openrouter" or "ollama"
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llm_provider: str = "openrouter" # "openrouter" or "ollama"
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openrouter_model: str = "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6" # primary/default model
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openrouter_model: str = "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6" # primary/default model
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@@ -35,8 +39,8 @@ class Settings(BaseSettings):
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|
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# Per-category model routing
|
# Per-category model routing
|
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category_models: dict = {
|
category_models: dict = {
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"caller_dialog": "anthropic/claude-haiku-4.5", # live caller dialog ($0.80/$4)
|
"caller_dialog": "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6", # live caller dialog — quality matters ($3/$15)
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"devon_ask": "x-ai/grok-4.1-fast", # Devon matches show energy, cheap ($0.20/$0.50)
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"devon_ask": "x-ai/grok-4.3", # Devon matches show energy (grok-4.1-fast deprecated 2026-05)
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"devon_monitor": "google/gemini-2.5-flash", # just yes/no decisions, keep cheap ($0.15/$0.60)
|
"devon_monitor": "google/gemini-2.5-flash", # just yes/no decisions, keep cheap ($0.15/$0.60)
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"background_gen": "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6", # backgrounds drive the whole call — worth the quality ($3/$15, ~$0.30/show)
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"background_gen": "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6", # backgrounds drive the whole call — worth the quality ($3/$15, ~$0.30/show)
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"call_summary": "google/gemini-2.5-flash", # post-call, no personality needed ($0.15/$0.60)
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"call_summary": "google/gemini-2.5-flash", # post-call, no personality needed ($0.15/$0.60)
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+468
-126
@@ -82,19 +82,22 @@ FEMALE_NAMES = [
|
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|
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# Voice pools per TTS provider
|
# Voice pools per TTS provider
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INWORLD_MALE_VOICES = [
|
INWORLD_MALE_VOICES = [
|
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"Alex", "Arjun", "Blake", "Brian", "Callum", "Carter", "Clive", "Craig",
|
"Alex", "Arjun", "Arthur", "Avery", "Blake", "Brandon", "Brian", "Callum",
|
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"Dennis", "Derek", "Edward", "Elliot", "Ethan", "Evan", "Gareth", "Graham",
|
"Carter", "Cedric", "Clive", "Conrad", "Craig", "Damon", "Daniel", "Dennis",
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"Grant", "Hades", "Hamish", "Hank", "Jake", "James", "Jason", "Liam",
|
"Derek", "Duncan",
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"Malcolm", "Mark", "Mortimer", "Nate", "Oliver", "Ronald", "Rupert",
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"Edward", "Elliot", "Ethan", "Evan", "Felix", "Gareth", "Graham", "Grant",
|
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"Sebastian", "Shaun", "Simon", "Theodore", "Timothy", "Tyler", "Victor",
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"Hades", "Hamish", "Hank", "Jake", "James", "Jason", "Jonah", "Levi",
|
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"Vinny",
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"Liam", "Malcolm", "Marcus", "Mark", "Mortimer", "Nate", "Oliver", "Reed",
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|
"Ronald", "Rupert", "Sebastian", "Shaun", "Simon", "Theodore", "Timothy",
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|
"Trevor", "Tristan", "Tyler", "Victor", "Vinny",
|
||||||
]
|
]
|
||||||
INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES = [
|
INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES = [
|
||||||
"Amina", "Anjali", "Ashley", "Celeste", "Chloe", "Claire", "Darlene",
|
"Amina", "Anjali", "Ashley", "Bianca", "Brooke", "Celeste", "Chloe",
|
||||||
"Deborah", "Elizabeth", "Evelyn", "Hana", "Jessica", "Julia", "Kayla",
|
"Claire", "Darlene", "Deborah", "Eleanor", "Elizabeth", "Evelyn", "Hana",
|
||||||
"Kelsey", "Lauren", "Loretta", "Luna", "Marlene", "Miranda", "Olivia",
|
"Jessica", "Joy", "Julia", "Kayla", "Kelsey", "Lauren", "Loretta", "Luna",
|
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"Pippa", "Priya", "Saanvi", "Sarah", "Serena", "Tessa", "Veronica",
|
"Marlene", "Miranda", "Nadia", "Naomi", "Olivia", "Pippa", "Priya",
|
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"Victoria", "Wendy",
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"Saanvi", "Sarah", "Selene", "Serena", "Sophie", "Tessa", "Veronica",
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|
"Victoria", "Wendy", "Zadie",
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]
|
]
|
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|
|
||||||
ELEVENLABS_MALE_VOICES = [
|
ELEVENLABS_MALE_VOICES = [
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@@ -338,6 +341,68 @@ def _extract_search_query(background: str) -> str | None:
|
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return " ".join(search_words)
|
return " ".join(search_words)
|
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|
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|
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|
# Big Bend region towns the show lives in, with coordinates for weather lookups.
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|
# Longer names first so "fort stockton" matches before "stockton"-style partials.
|
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|
BIG_BEND_TOWNS: dict[str, tuple[float, float]] = {
|
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|
"fort stockton": (30.8949, -102.8794),
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|
"fort davis": (30.5882, -103.8946),
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|
"big bend": (29.2700, -103.3000), # Chisos Basin
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|
"alpine": (30.3585, -103.6610),
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|
"marfa": (30.3098, -104.0207),
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|
"marathon": (30.2074, -103.2452),
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|
"terlingua": (29.3216, -103.6168),
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|
"presidio": (29.5602, -104.3707),
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|
}
|
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|
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|
# WMO weather codes (Open-Meteo) → short human phrase
|
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|
_WMO_PHRASE = {
|
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|
0: "clear skies", 1: "mostly clear", 2: "partly cloudy", 3: "overcast",
|
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|
45: "foggy", 48: "freezing fog",
|
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|
51: "light drizzle", 53: "drizzle", 55: "heavy drizzle",
|
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|
61: "light rain", 63: "rain", 65: "heavy rain",
|
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|
71: "light snow", 73: "snow", 75: "heavy snow",
|
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|
80: "rain showers", 81: "rain showers", 82: "heavy rain showers",
|
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|
95: "thunderstorms", 96: "thunderstorms", 99: "thunderstorms",
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _get_town_from_location(text: str) -> Optional[str]:
|
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|
"""Return the canonical Big Bend town key mentioned in a location string,
|
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|
or None. Matches 'ft stockton' as 'fort stockton'."""
|
||||||
|
if not text:
|
||||||
|
return None
|
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|
low = " " + text.lower().replace("ft.", "fort").replace("ft ", "fort ") + " "
|
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|
for town in BIG_BEND_TOWNS:
|
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|
if town in low:
|
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|
return town
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
async def _get_weather_for_town(town: str) -> Optional[str]:
|
||||||
|
"""Current conditions for a Big Bend town via Open-Meteo (free, no key).
|
||||||
|
Returns e.g. '58°F, clear skies', or None on failure/unknown town."""
|
||||||
|
coords = BIG_BEND_TOWNS.get(town)
|
||||||
|
if not coords:
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
lat, lon = coords
|
||||||
|
async with httpx.AsyncClient(timeout=5.0) as client:
|
||||||
|
resp = await client.get(
|
||||||
|
"https://api.open-meteo.com/v1/forecast",
|
||||||
|
params={
|
||||||
|
"latitude": lat, "longitude": lon,
|
||||||
|
"current": "temperature_2m,weather_code",
|
||||||
|
"temperature_unit": "fahrenheit",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
resp.raise_for_status()
|
||||||
|
cur = resp.json().get("current", {})
|
||||||
|
temp = cur.get("temperature_2m")
|
||||||
|
if temp is None:
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
phrase = _WMO_PHRASE.get(cur.get("weather_code"), "")
|
||||||
|
return f"{round(temp)}°F, {phrase}" if phrase else f"{round(temp)}°F"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
async def enrich_caller_background(background: str) -> str:
|
async def enrich_caller_background(background: str) -> str:
|
||||||
"""Search for a relevant article and local town news, summarize naturally.
|
"""Search for a relevant article and local town news, summarize naturally.
|
||||||
Called once at pickup time — never during live conversation."""
|
Called once at pickup time — never during live conversation."""
|
||||||
@@ -384,9 +449,9 @@ async def enrich_caller_background(background: str) -> str:
|
|||||||
try:
|
try:
|
||||||
if not town:
|
if not town:
|
||||||
town = _get_town_from_location(background.split(".")[0])
|
town = _get_town_from_location(background.split(".")[0])
|
||||||
if town and town not in ("road forks", "hachita"): # Too small for news
|
if town and town != "big bend": # the park, not a town with local news
|
||||||
async with asyncio.timeout(4):
|
async with asyncio.timeout(4):
|
||||||
town_query = f"{town.title()} New Mexico" if town not in ("tucson", "phoenix", "bisbee", "douglas", "sierra vista", "safford", "willcox", "globe", "clifton", "duncan", "tombstone", "nogales", "green valley", "benson", "san simon") else f"{town.title()} Arizona"
|
town_query = f"{town.title()} Texas"
|
||||||
results = await news_service.search_topic(town_query)
|
results = await news_service.search_topic(town_query)
|
||||||
if results:
|
if results:
|
||||||
article = results[0]
|
article = results[0]
|
||||||
@@ -475,25 +540,77 @@ def detect_host_mood(messages: list[dict], wrapping_up: bool = False) -> str:
|
|||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def get_caller_prompt(caller: dict) -> str:
|
def get_caller_prompt(caller: dict, theme: str = "") -> str:
|
||||||
"""Caller system prompt. Identity carries the weight."""
|
"""Caller system prompt. Identity carries the weight."""
|
||||||
name = caller.get("name", "")
|
name = caller.get("name", "")
|
||||||
identity = caller.get("identity", "")
|
identity = caller.get("identity", "")
|
||||||
situation = caller.get("situation", "")
|
situation = caller.get("situation", "")
|
||||||
reason = caller.get("reason_calling", "")
|
reason = caller.get("reason_calling", "")
|
||||||
want = caller.get("secret_want", "")
|
want = caller.get("secret_want", "")
|
||||||
|
opening = caller.get("opening_line", "")
|
||||||
details = caller.get("specific_details", []) or []
|
details = caller.get("specific_details", []) or []
|
||||||
detail_str = " | ".join(f"- {d}" for d in details)
|
detail_str = " | ".join(f"- {d}" for d in details)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
opening_block = ""
|
||||||
|
if opening:
|
||||||
|
opening_block = f"""
|
||||||
|
Your planned opening line (use this or something very close for your FIRST message — do NOT say you've been listening for years, do NOT use generic radio caller clichés):
|
||||||
|
"{opening}"
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Returning-caller memory block. Memory fields are usually attached to the
|
||||||
|
# slim dict at generation time, but slim dicts restored from checkpoint or
|
||||||
|
# preserved across a partial-regenerate (theme change) won't have them — so
|
||||||
|
# fall back to a name lookup against the regulars store.
|
||||||
|
is_regular = caller.get("is_regular", False)
|
||||||
|
arc_state = (caller.get("arc_state") or "").strip()
|
||||||
|
prior = [s for s in (caller.get("prior_summaries") or []) if s]
|
||||||
|
if not is_regular and name:
|
||||||
|
persisted = regular_caller_service.get_by_name(name)
|
||||||
|
if persisted:
|
||||||
|
is_regular = True
|
||||||
|
if not prior:
|
||||||
|
prior = [
|
||||||
|
(e.get("summary") or "").strip()[:400]
|
||||||
|
for e in (persisted.get("call_history") or [])[-4:]
|
||||||
|
if (e.get("summary") or "").strip()
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
if not arc_state:
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
from .services import regulars_v2
|
||||||
|
for r in regulars_v2.load_all_active_regulars():
|
||||||
|
if r.name.lower() == name.lower():
|
||||||
|
is_regular = True
|
||||||
|
arc_state = (r.arc_state or "").strip()
|
||||||
|
break
|
||||||
|
except Exception:
|
||||||
|
pass
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
regular_block = ""
|
||||||
|
if is_regular:
|
||||||
|
regular_block = "\n\nYOU ARE A RECURRING CALLER ON THIS SHOW. Luke knows you. You've called before — do NOT introduce yourself as a first-time listener.\n"
|
||||||
|
if prior:
|
||||||
|
regular_block += "\nYour past calls with Luke (oldest first — these things actually happened, reference them naturally when relevant):\n"
|
||||||
|
for i, s in enumerate(prior, 1):
|
||||||
|
regular_block += f"{i}. {s.strip()}\n"
|
||||||
|
if arc_state:
|
||||||
|
regular_block += f"\nWhere your story stands going into tonight: {arc_state}\n"
|
||||||
|
if prior or arc_state:
|
||||||
|
regular_block += "\nIf Luke asks about something from a past call, you remember it. You and he have a rapport built from those prior conversations.\n"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
theme_block = ""
|
||||||
|
if theme:
|
||||||
|
theme_block = f'\n\nTonight\'s show theme: "{theme}". If your reason for calling connects to this, lean into the connection with energy and specificity. If it genuinely doesn\'t fit your story, don\'t force it.\n'
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
return f"""You are {name}. {identity}
|
return f"""You are {name}. {identity}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
You're calling Luke's late-night radio show because: {situation} — specifically, {reason}.
|
You're calling Luke's late-night radio show because: {situation} — specifically, {reason}.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
What you secretly want from this call: {want}
|
What you secretly want from this call: {want}
|
||||||
|
{opening_block}
|
||||||
Specific details you'll drop if it feels natural:
|
Specific details you'll drop if it feels natural:
|
||||||
{detail_str}
|
{detail_str}
|
||||||
|
{regular_block}{theme_block}
|
||||||
Speak as this person. React to what Luke says. Stay in character.
|
Speak as this person. React to what Luke says. Stay in character.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
CRITICAL OUTPUT RULES:
|
CRITICAL OUTPUT RULES:
|
||||||
@@ -502,6 +619,13 @@ CRITICAL OUTPUT RULES:
|
|||||||
- NEVER use parenthetical stage directions. No (laughs), (nervous), (sighs).
|
- NEVER use parenthetical stage directions. No (laughs), (nervous), (sighs).
|
||||||
- No narration. No describing what you're doing or feeling except through what you say.
|
- No narration. No describing what you're doing or feeling except through what you say.
|
||||||
- If you catch yourself writing an asterisk or parenthesis, delete it and just say the words instead.
|
- If you catch yourself writing an asterisk or parenthesis, delete it and just say the words instead.
|
||||||
|
- NEVER say you've "been listening for X years" or "long-time listener, first-time caller." Just get into your story.
|
||||||
|
- If you've already shared a specific fact or detail in this conversation, do NOT restate it. Move the story forward — share something new, react to what Luke just said, or escalate the stakes.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
YOU CAN BE MOVED — DON'T CIRCLE:
|
||||||
|
- You have a position and something you want, but you're a real person, not a stuck record. If Luke makes a good point or gives real advice, actually take it in — let it land. Agree, change your mind, soften, get defensive, dig in harder, or come to a decision. Something shifts.
|
||||||
|
- NEVER restate the same dilemma, worry, or argument you've already made. If you catch yourself going in a circle, that's the moment to move: make a decision, admit something new, react to his point, or let the conversation turn somewhere it hasn't been.
|
||||||
|
- It's good to reach a resolution, a choice, or an emotional turn over the call. You are NOT required to stay stuck in the same problem until you're cut off. Real conversations go somewhere.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Mix short punchy replies with longer ones where natural. Real callers breathe, react in fragments, ask their own questions — they don't deliver a monologue every turn."""
|
Mix short punchy replies with longer ones where natural. Real callers breathe, react in fragments, ask their own questions — they don't deliver a monologue every turn."""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
@@ -586,6 +710,19 @@ def _assess_call_quality(
|
|||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Generic reactions for when an earlier call has no details worth naming.
|
||||||
|
# Interpolated as "...and you {reaction}." so each must agree with "you".
|
||||||
|
SHOW_HISTORY_REACTIONS = [
|
||||||
|
"have been chewing on their call ever since",
|
||||||
|
"didn't buy a word of it",
|
||||||
|
"thought they got a raw deal from the host",
|
||||||
|
"can't quite shake what they said",
|
||||||
|
"wanted to reach through the radio and argue with them",
|
||||||
|
"felt for them more than you expected to",
|
||||||
|
"thought they were dead right and nobody backed them up",
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
class Session:
|
class Session:
|
||||||
def __init__(self):
|
def __init__(self):
|
||||||
self.id = str(uuid.uuid4())[:8]
|
self.id = str(uuid.uuid4())[:8]
|
||||||
@@ -792,35 +929,72 @@ class Session:
|
|||||||
from .services import caller_gen, regulars_v2
|
from .services import caller_gen, regulars_v2
|
||||||
from datetime import datetime
|
from datetime import datetime
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
voice_roster = [name for name in INWORLD_MALE_VOICES + INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES
|
# Voice rotation: Sonnet biases toward familiar-sounding names when shown
|
||||||
if name not in BLACKLISTED_VOICES]
|
# the full 78-voice roster, so 12-ish voices dominated ~50% of TTS calls.
|
||||||
|
# Pre-sample a 25-voice subset per show, excluding voices used in the last
|
||||||
|
# 2 shows — this rotates the full pool over 5-6 shows.
|
||||||
|
full_pool = [name for name in INWORLD_MALE_VOICES + INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES
|
||||||
|
if name not in BLACKLISTED_VOICES]
|
||||||
|
recently_used = _recently_used_voices(n_shows=2)
|
||||||
|
fresh_pool = [v for v in full_pool if v not in recently_used] or full_pool
|
||||||
|
voice_roster = random.sample(fresh_pool, min(25, len(fresh_pool)))
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Background] Voice subset: {len(voice_roster)} of {len(full_pool)} ({len(recently_used)} excluded as recent)")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
# Each active regular has an independent 50% chance to appear tonight.
|
# Each active regular's appearance probability scales with shows-since-last
|
||||||
REGULAR_APPEARANCE_PROB = 0.5
|
# appearance: base 0.4, +0.3 per missed show, capped at 1.0. A regular who's
|
||||||
|
# never appeared (or hasn't been seen in 2+ shows) is guaranteed tonight.
|
||||||
active_regulars = regulars_v2.load_all_active_regulars()
|
active_regulars = regulars_v2.load_all_active_regulars()
|
||||||
regulars_for_tonight = [
|
history = _load_lineup_history()
|
||||||
{"name": r.name, "voice": r.voice, "age": r.age,
|
|
||||||
"lore": r.lore_body, "arc_state": r.arc_state}
|
def _shows_since_last(name: str) -> int:
|
||||||
for r in active_regulars
|
for i, record in enumerate(reversed(history)):
|
||||||
if random.random() < REGULAR_APPEARANCE_PROB
|
if any(c.get("name") == name for c in record.get("lineup", [])):
|
||||||
][:3]
|
return i
|
||||||
|
return 999 # never appeared
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
regulars_for_tonight: list[dict] = []
|
||||||
|
for r in active_regulars:
|
||||||
|
misses = _shows_since_last(r.name)
|
||||||
|
prob = min(1.0, 0.4 + 0.3 * misses)
|
||||||
|
if random.random() < prob:
|
||||||
|
regulars_for_tonight.append(
|
||||||
|
{"name": r.name, "voice": r.voice, "age": r.age,
|
||||||
|
"lore": r.lore_body, "arc_state": r.arc_state,
|
||||||
|
"_misses": misses, "_prob": prob}
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
regulars_for_tonight = regulars_for_tonight[:3]
|
||||||
if regulars_for_tonight:
|
if regulars_for_tonight:
|
||||||
names = ", ".join(r["name"] for r in regulars_for_tonight)
|
names = ", ".join(f"{r['name']}(miss={r['_misses']},p={r['_prob']:.2f})"
|
||||||
|
for r in regulars_for_tonight)
|
||||||
print(f"[Background] Regulars tonight: {names}")
|
print(f"[Background] Regulars tonight: {names}")
|
||||||
else:
|
else:
|
||||||
print("[Background] No regulars tonight — all walk-ins")
|
print("[Background] No regulars tonight — all walk-ins")
|
||||||
|
# Strip internal fields before passing to caller_gen
|
||||||
|
for r in regulars_for_tonight:
|
||||||
|
r.pop("_misses", None)
|
||||||
|
r.pop("_prob", None)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
headlines: list[str] = []
|
headlines: list[str] = []
|
||||||
if self.news_headlines:
|
if self.news_headlines:
|
||||||
for h in self.news_headlines[:5]:
|
for h in self.news_headlines[:5]:
|
||||||
headlines.append(h.title if hasattr(h, "title") else str(h))
|
headlines.append(h.title if hasattr(h, "title") else str(h))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
weather_line = "cool desert night"
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
async with asyncio.timeout(5):
|
||||||
|
w = await _get_weather_for_town("alpine")
|
||||||
|
if w:
|
||||||
|
weather_line = f"Weather in Alpine right now: {w}"
|
||||||
|
except Exception as e:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Background] Alpine weather lookup failed: {e}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
base_ctx = {
|
base_ctx = {
|
||||||
"date": datetime.now().strftime("%A, %B %d, %Y"),
|
"date": datetime.now().strftime("%A, %B %d, %Y"),
|
||||||
"weather": "cool desert night", # TODO: real weather feed
|
"weather": weather_line,
|
||||||
"headlines": headlines,
|
"headlines": headlines,
|
||||||
"recent_caller_summaries": self._get_recent_summaries(),
|
"recent_caller_summaries": self._get_recent_summaries(),
|
||||||
"voice_roster": voice_roster,
|
"voice_roster": voice_roster,
|
||||||
|
"theme": self.show_theme,
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
# Single batch of 10 so sonnet sees the full roster and can enforce
|
# Single batch of 10 so sonnet sees the full roster and can enforce
|
||||||
# the anti-collision rule across all callers. Previously two parallel
|
# the anti-collision rule across all callers. Previously two parallel
|
||||||
@@ -873,7 +1047,7 @@ class Session:
|
|||||||
if r["name"] not in regular_idents:
|
if r["name"] not in regular_idents:
|
||||||
print(f"[Background] Regular '{r['name']}' missing from batch output — generating directly")
|
print(f"[Background] Regular '{r['name']}' missing from batch output — generating directly")
|
||||||
try:
|
try:
|
||||||
fields = await caller_gen.generate_regular_situation(r, ctx_a)
|
fields = await caller_gen.generate_regular_situation(r, ctx)
|
||||||
regular_idents[r["name"]] = caller_gen.CallerIdentity(
|
regular_idents[r["name"]] = caller_gen.CallerIdentity(
|
||||||
name=r["name"],
|
name=r["name"],
|
||||||
age=r["age"],
|
age=r["age"],
|
||||||
@@ -895,11 +1069,30 @@ class Session:
|
|||||||
ordered = [regular_idents[r["name"]] for r in regulars_for_tonight if r["name"] in regular_idents]
|
ordered = [regular_idents[r["name"]] for r in regulars_for_tonight if r["name"] in regular_idents]
|
||||||
ordered.extend(walk_ins)
|
ordered.extend(walk_ins)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Build memory-injection metadata for each regular: arc_state from the
|
||||||
|
# Obsidian frontmatter (regulars_v2) + last few call summaries from
|
||||||
|
# data/regulars.json. Without this, the dialog model treats every call
|
||||||
|
# as the caller's first time and forgets prior conversations.
|
||||||
|
regular_memory_by_name: dict[str, dict] = {}
|
||||||
|
for r in regulars_for_tonight:
|
||||||
|
persisted = regular_caller_service.get_by_name(r["name"])
|
||||||
|
prior_summaries: list[str] = []
|
||||||
|
if persisted:
|
||||||
|
for entry in (persisted.get("call_history") or [])[-4:]:
|
||||||
|
summary = entry.get("summary", "").strip()
|
||||||
|
if summary:
|
||||||
|
prior_summaries.append(summary[:400])
|
||||||
|
regular_memory_by_name[r["name"]] = {
|
||||||
|
"is_regular": True,
|
||||||
|
"arc_state": (r.get("arc_state") or "").strip(),
|
||||||
|
"prior_summaries": prior_summaries,
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
backgrounds: dict[str, dict] = {}
|
backgrounds: dict[str, dict] = {}
|
||||||
caller_keys = list(CALLER_BASES.keys()) # ["1"-"9","0"]
|
caller_keys = list(CALLER_BASES.keys()) # ["1"-"9","0"]
|
||||||
for i, identity in enumerate(ordered[:10]):
|
for i, identity in enumerate(ordered[:10]):
|
||||||
key = caller_keys[i]
|
key = caller_keys[i]
|
||||||
backgrounds[key] = {
|
bg = {
|
||||||
"name": identity.name,
|
"name": identity.name,
|
||||||
"age": identity.age,
|
"age": identity.age,
|
||||||
"voice": identity.voice_resolved,
|
"voice": identity.voice_resolved,
|
||||||
@@ -912,7 +1105,11 @@ class Session:
|
|||||||
"specific_details": identity.specific_details,
|
"specific_details": identity.specific_details,
|
||||||
"emotional_register": identity.emotional_register,
|
"emotional_register": identity.emotional_register,
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
if identity.name in regular_memory_by_name:
|
||||||
|
bg.update(regular_memory_by_name[identity.name])
|
||||||
|
backgrounds[key] = bg
|
||||||
print(f"[Background] Built {len(backgrounds)} callers (from {len(identities)} raw, {len(regular_idents)} regulars locked)")
|
print(f"[Background] Built {len(backgrounds)} callers (from {len(identities)} raw, {len(regular_idents)} regulars locked)")
|
||||||
|
_save_lineup_to_history(backgrounds)
|
||||||
return backgrounds
|
return backgrounds
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def start_prewarm(self):
|
def start_prewarm(self):
|
||||||
@@ -955,8 +1152,18 @@ class Session:
|
|||||||
self.start_prewarm()
|
self.start_prewarm()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def _get_recent_summaries(self) -> list[str]:
|
def _get_recent_summaries(self) -> list[str]:
|
||||||
# Return last 2 shows' caller summaries — stub for now, can wire into cost_db
|
"""Return caller name+situation strings from the last 2 lineups, so Sonnet
|
||||||
return []
|
can avoid repeating archetypes. Empty list on first run."""
|
||||||
|
history = _load_lineup_history()
|
||||||
|
recent = history[-2:]
|
||||||
|
summaries: list[str] = []
|
||||||
|
for record in recent:
|
||||||
|
for caller in record.get("lineup", []):
|
||||||
|
name = caller.get("name", "")
|
||||||
|
situation = (caller.get("situation") or "")[:160]
|
||||||
|
if name and situation:
|
||||||
|
summaries.append(f"{name}: {situation}")
|
||||||
|
return summaries
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def reset(self):
|
def reset(self):
|
||||||
"""Reset session - clears all caller backgrounds for fresh personalities"""
|
"""Reset session - clears all caller backgrounds for fresh personalities"""
|
||||||
@@ -1044,6 +1251,59 @@ async def _stream_hold_music(caller_id: str):
|
|||||||
# --- Session Checkpoint ---
|
# --- Session Checkpoint ---
|
||||||
CHECKPOINT_FILE = Path(__file__).parent.parent / "data" / "session_checkpoint.json"
|
CHECKPOINT_FILE = Path(__file__).parent.parent / "data" / "session_checkpoint.json"
|
||||||
CHECKPOINT_MAX_AGE = 12 * 3600 # Ignore checkpoints older than 12 hours
|
CHECKPOINT_MAX_AGE = 12 * 3600 # Ignore checkpoints older than 12 hours
|
||||||
|
# Restore the persisted caller lineup only if a show is in progress (calls already
|
||||||
|
# made) AND the checkpoint is recent. Otherwise the next session gets a fresh roster.
|
||||||
|
CHECKPOINT_LINEUP_MAX_AGE = 3600 # 1 hour
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# --- Lineup History (for anti-repeat context across sessions) ---
|
||||||
|
LINEUP_HISTORY_FILE = Path(__file__).parent.parent / "data" / "caller_lineups.json"
|
||||||
|
LINEUP_HISTORY_MAX = 10
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _load_lineup_history() -> list[dict]:
|
||||||
|
if not LINEUP_HISTORY_FILE.exists():
|
||||||
|
return []
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
with open(LINEUP_HISTORY_FILE) as f:
|
||||||
|
return json.load(f).get("lineups", [])
|
||||||
|
except Exception as e:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[LineupHistory] Load failed: {e}")
|
||||||
|
return []
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _recently_used_voices(n_shows: int = 2) -> set[str]:
|
||||||
|
"""Voices assigned in the last N show lineups — caller_gen excludes these
|
||||||
|
from the next show's voice subset to force rotation through the full pool."""
|
||||||
|
history = _load_lineup_history()
|
||||||
|
recent = history[-n_shows:] if history else []
|
||||||
|
voices: set[str] = set()
|
||||||
|
for record in recent:
|
||||||
|
for caller in record.get("lineup", []):
|
||||||
|
v = caller.get("voice")
|
||||||
|
if v:
|
||||||
|
voices.add(v)
|
||||||
|
return voices
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _save_lineup_to_history(backgrounds: dict):
|
||||||
|
"""Append the active lineup so future shows can avoid repeating archetypes
|
||||||
|
and rotate voices through the full pool. Stores name + situation + voice."""
|
||||||
|
lineup = [
|
||||||
|
{"name": v.get("name", ""), "situation": v.get("situation", ""), "voice": v.get("voice", "")}
|
||||||
|
for v in backgrounds.values()
|
||||||
|
if isinstance(v, dict) and v.get("name")
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
if not lineup:
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
history = _load_lineup_history()
|
||||||
|
history.append({"timestamp": time.time(), "lineup": lineup})
|
||||||
|
history = history[-LINEUP_HISTORY_MAX:]
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
LINEUP_HISTORY_FILE.parent.mkdir(parents=True, exist_ok=True)
|
||||||
|
with open(LINEUP_HISTORY_FILE, "w") as f:
|
||||||
|
json.dump({"lineups": history}, f, indent=2)
|
||||||
|
except Exception as e:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[LineupHistory] Save failed: {e}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def _save_checkpoint():
|
def _save_checkpoint():
|
||||||
@@ -1096,13 +1356,22 @@ def _load_checkpoint() -> bool:
|
|||||||
return False
|
return False
|
||||||
session.id = data["session_id"]
|
session.id = data["session_id"]
|
||||||
session.call_history = [_deserialize_call_record(r) for r in data.get("call_history", [])]
|
session.call_history = [_deserialize_call_record(r) for r in data.get("call_history", [])]
|
||||||
# Drop any legacy background dicts (pre-slim schema). They'll be regenerated
|
# Only restore the caller lineup if a show is genuinely mid-flight (calls
|
||||||
# fresh on next Session.reset or when startup sees no restored backgrounds.
|
# already made) and the checkpoint is fresh enough that we're likely
|
||||||
|
# recovering from a crash rather than starting a new session. Otherwise
|
||||||
|
# the next show would inherit the previous lineup verbatim.
|
||||||
raw_bgs = data.get("caller_backgrounds", {})
|
raw_bgs = data.get("caller_backgrounds", {})
|
||||||
session.caller_backgrounds = {
|
calls_made = len(session.call_history)
|
||||||
k: v for k, v in raw_bgs.items()
|
mid_show = calls_made > 0 and age < CHECKPOINT_LINEUP_MAX_AGE
|
||||||
if isinstance(v, dict) and "identity" in v and "situation" in v
|
if mid_show:
|
||||||
}
|
session.caller_backgrounds = {
|
||||||
|
k: v for k, v in raw_bgs.items()
|
||||||
|
if isinstance(v, dict) and "identity" in v and "situation" in v
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
session.caller_backgrounds = {}
|
||||||
|
if raw_bgs:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Checkpoint] Dropping persisted lineup (calls={calls_made}, age={age/60:.0f}m) — fresh roster will be generated")
|
||||||
session.used_reasons = set(data.get("used_reasons", []))
|
session.used_reasons = set(data.get("used_reasons", []))
|
||||||
session.ai_respond_mode = data.get("ai_respond_mode", "manual")
|
session.ai_respond_mode = data.get("ai_respond_mode", "manual")
|
||||||
session.auto_followup = data.get("auto_followup", False)
|
session.auto_followup = data.get("auto_followup", False)
|
||||||
@@ -1161,6 +1430,7 @@ class Voicemail:
|
|||||||
duration: int
|
duration: int
|
||||||
file_path: str
|
file_path: str
|
||||||
listened: bool = False
|
listened: bool = False
|
||||||
|
transcript: str = ""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
_voicemails: list[Voicemail] = []
|
_voicemails: list[Voicemail] = []
|
||||||
@@ -1178,6 +1448,7 @@ def _load_voicemails():
|
|||||||
id=v["id"], phone=v["phone"], timestamp=v["timestamp"],
|
id=v["id"], phone=v["phone"], timestamp=v["timestamp"],
|
||||||
duration=v["duration"], file_path=v["file_path"],
|
duration=v["duration"], file_path=v["file_path"],
|
||||||
listened=v.get("listened", False),
|
listened=v.get("listened", False),
|
||||||
|
transcript=v.get("transcript", ""),
|
||||||
)
|
)
|
||||||
for v in data.get("voicemails", [])
|
for v in data.get("voicemails", [])
|
||||||
]
|
]
|
||||||
@@ -1196,7 +1467,7 @@ def _save_voicemails():
|
|||||||
{
|
{
|
||||||
"id": v.id, "phone": v.phone, "timestamp": v.timestamp,
|
"id": v.id, "phone": v.phone, "timestamp": v.timestamp,
|
||||||
"duration": v.duration, "file_path": v.file_path,
|
"duration": v.duration, "file_path": v.file_path,
|
||||||
"listened": v.listened,
|
"listened": v.listened, "transcript": v.transcript,
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
for v in _voicemails
|
for v in _voicemails
|
||||||
],
|
],
|
||||||
@@ -1262,6 +1533,43 @@ def _build_news_context() -> tuple[str, str]:
|
|||||||
return news_context, research_context
|
return news_context, research_context
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
async def _transcribe_voicemail(vm: Voicemail) -> str:
|
||||||
|
"""Transcribe a voicemail so Devon and the callers can react to it.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Whisper is blocking CPU work — run it in a thread so a voicemail arriving
|
||||||
|
mid-show can't stall the event loop (and with it the live audio).
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
fp = Path(vm.file_path)
|
||||||
|
if not fp.exists():
|
||||||
|
return ""
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
audio_bytes = fp.read_bytes()
|
||||||
|
loop = asyncio.get_running_loop()
|
||||||
|
text = await loop.run_in_executor(
|
||||||
|
None, lambda: asyncio.run(transcribe_audio(audio_bytes))
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
vm.transcript = (text or "").strip()
|
||||||
|
_save_voicemails()
|
||||||
|
if vm.transcript:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Voicemail] Transcribed {fp.name}: {vm.transcript[:80]}")
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Voicemail] Transcribed {fp.name}: (no speech detected)")
|
||||||
|
return vm.transcript
|
||||||
|
except Exception as e:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Voicemail] Transcription failed for {fp.name}: {e}")
|
||||||
|
return ""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
async def _backfill_voicemail_transcripts():
|
||||||
|
"""Transcribe any voicemails that predate transcription support."""
|
||||||
|
pending = [v for v in _voicemails if not v.transcript and Path(v.file_path).exists()]
|
||||||
|
if not pending:
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Voicemail] Backfilling transcripts for {len(pending)} voicemail(s)...")
|
||||||
|
for vm in pending:
|
||||||
|
await _transcribe_voicemail(vm)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
async def _sync_signalwire_voicemails():
|
async def _sync_signalwire_voicemails():
|
||||||
"""Pull any recordings from SignalWire that aren't already tracked locally.
|
"""Pull any recordings from SignalWire that aren't already tracked locally.
|
||||||
Checks both the top-level Recordings endpoint AND per-call recordings
|
Checks both the top-level Recordings endpoint AND per-call recordings
|
||||||
@@ -1360,6 +1668,7 @@ async def startup():
|
|||||||
_load_voicemails()
|
_load_voicemails()
|
||||||
_load_emails()
|
_load_emails()
|
||||||
asyncio.create_task(_sync_signalwire_voicemails())
|
asyncio.create_task(_sync_signalwire_voicemails())
|
||||||
|
asyncio.create_task(_backfill_voicemail_transcripts())
|
||||||
asyncio.create_task(_poll_imap_emails())
|
asyncio.create_task(_poll_imap_emails())
|
||||||
restored = _load_checkpoint()
|
restored = _load_checkpoint()
|
||||||
if not restored or not session.caller_backgrounds:
|
if not restored or not session.caller_backgrounds:
|
||||||
@@ -1718,6 +2027,8 @@ async def _download_voicemail(recording_url: str, caller_phone: str, duration: i
|
|||||||
_voicemails.append(vm)
|
_voicemails.append(vm)
|
||||||
_save_voicemails()
|
_save_voicemails()
|
||||||
print(f"[Voicemail] Saved {filename} ({duration}s) from {caller_phone}")
|
print(f"[Voicemail] Saved {filename} ({duration}s) from {caller_phone}")
|
||||||
|
# Transcribe in the background so it's ready the moment the host airs it
|
||||||
|
asyncio.create_task(_transcribe_voicemail(vm))
|
||||||
except Exception as e:
|
except Exception as e:
|
||||||
print(f"[Voicemail] Failed to download recording: {e}")
|
print(f"[Voicemail] Failed to download recording: {e}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
@@ -1730,6 +2041,7 @@ async def list_voicemails():
|
|||||||
{
|
{
|
||||||
"id": v.id, "phone": v.phone, "timestamp": v.timestamp,
|
"id": v.id, "phone": v.phone, "timestamp": v.timestamp,
|
||||||
"duration": v.duration, "listened": v.listened,
|
"duration": v.duration, "listened": v.listened,
|
||||||
|
"transcript": v.transcript,
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
for v in sorted(_voicemails, key=lambda v: v.timestamp, reverse=True)
|
for v in sorted(_voicemails, key=lambda v: v.timestamp, reverse=True)
|
||||||
]
|
]
|
||||||
@@ -1756,6 +2068,16 @@ async def play_voicemail_on_air(vm_id: str):
|
|||||||
if not fp.exists():
|
if not fp.exists():
|
||||||
raise HTTPException(status_code=404, detail="Audio file missing")
|
raise HTTPException(status_code=404, detail="Audio file missing")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Devon (and the AI callers) only perceive session.conversation, so the
|
||||||
|
# voicemail has to land there as text or they're deaf to it.
|
||||||
|
if vm.transcript:
|
||||||
|
session.add_message(f"voicemail:{vm.phone}", vm.transcript)
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
session.add_message(
|
||||||
|
f"voicemail:{vm.phone}",
|
||||||
|
f"(A {vm.duration}s voicemail from {vm.phone} just played on air — transcript unavailable.)",
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def _play():
|
def _play():
|
||||||
import librosa
|
import librosa
|
||||||
audio, sr = librosa.load(str(fp), sr=24000, mono=True)
|
audio, sr = librosa.load(str(fp), sr=24000, mono=True)
|
||||||
@@ -3166,18 +3488,23 @@ async def get_conversation_updates(since: int = 0):
|
|||||||
|
|
||||||
def _dynamic_context_window() -> int:
|
def _dynamic_context_window() -> int:
|
||||||
"""Return context window size based on conversation length.
|
"""Return context window size based on conversation length.
|
||||||
Short calls: 10 messages. Medium: 15. Long: 20."""
|
Scales up for longer calls so the caller doesn't forget what they
|
||||||
|
already shared and circle back to the same details."""
|
||||||
n = len(session.conversation)
|
n = len(session.conversation)
|
||||||
if n <= 10:
|
if n <= 10:
|
||||||
return 10
|
return 10
|
||||||
elif n <= 16:
|
elif n <= 16:
|
||||||
return 15
|
return 15
|
||||||
|
elif n <= 24:
|
||||||
|
return 24
|
||||||
|
elif n <= 32:
|
||||||
|
return 32
|
||||||
else:
|
else:
|
||||||
return 20
|
return 40
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def _normalize_messages_for_llm(messages: list[dict]) -> list[dict]:
|
def _normalize_messages_for_llm(messages: list[dict]) -> list[dict]:
|
||||||
"""Convert custom roles (real_caller:X, ai_caller:X, intern:X) to standard LLM roles"""
|
"""Convert custom roles (real_caller:X, ai_caller:X, intern:X, voicemail:X) to standard LLM roles"""
|
||||||
normalized = []
|
normalized = []
|
||||||
for msg in messages:
|
for msg in messages:
|
||||||
role = msg["role"]
|
role = msg["role"]
|
||||||
@@ -3190,6 +3517,9 @@ def _normalize_messages_for_llm(messages: list[dict]) -> list[dict]:
|
|||||||
elif role.startswith("intern:"):
|
elif role.startswith("intern:"):
|
||||||
intern_name = role.split(":", 1)[1]
|
intern_name = role.split(":", 1)[1]
|
||||||
normalized.append({"role": "user", "content": f"[Intern {intern_name}, in the studio]: {content}"})
|
normalized.append({"role": "user", "content": f"[Intern {intern_name}, in the studio]: {content}"})
|
||||||
|
elif role.startswith("voicemail:"):
|
||||||
|
vm_phone = role.split(":", 1)[1]
|
||||||
|
normalized.append({"role": "user", "content": f"[Voicemail from {vm_phone}, played on air]: {content}"})
|
||||||
elif role == "host" or role == "user":
|
elif role == "host" or role == "user":
|
||||||
normalized.append({"role": "user", "content": f"[Host Luke]: {content}"})
|
normalized.append({"role": "user", "content": f"[Host Luke]: {content}"})
|
||||||
else:
|
else:
|
||||||
@@ -3245,54 +3575,60 @@ async def chat(request: ChatRequest):
|
|||||||
session.add_message("user", request.text)
|
session.add_message("user", request.text)
|
||||||
# session._research_task = asyncio.create_task(_background_research(request.text))
|
# session._research_task = asyncio.create_task(_background_research(request.text))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
async with _ai_response_lock:
|
try:
|
||||||
if _session_epoch != epoch:
|
async with _ai_response_lock:
|
||||||
raise HTTPException(409, "Call ended while waiting")
|
if _session_epoch != epoch:
|
||||||
|
raise HTTPException(409, "Call ended while waiting")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
# Stop any playing caller audio so responses don't overlap
|
# Stop any playing caller audio so responses don't overlap
|
||||||
audio_service.stop_caller_audio()
|
audio_service.stop_caller_audio()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
show_history = session.get_show_history()
|
show_history = session.get_show_history()
|
||||||
is_wrapping = session._wrapping_up
|
is_wrapping = session._wrapping_up
|
||||||
mood = detect_host_mood(session.conversation, wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
mood = detect_host_mood(session.conversation, wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
# Track wrap-up exchanges and force hangup after 2
|
# Track wrap-up exchanges and force hangup after 2
|
||||||
if is_wrapping:
|
if is_wrapping:
|
||||||
session._wrapup_exchanges += 1
|
session._wrapup_exchanges += 1
|
||||||
if session._wrapup_exchanges > 2:
|
if session._wrapup_exchanges > 2:
|
||||||
mood += "\nSay goodbye NOW and end with [HANGUP]\n"
|
mood += "\nSay goodbye NOW and end with [HANGUP]\n"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
slim_caller = session.caller_backgrounds.get(session.current_caller_key, {})
|
slim_caller = session.caller_backgrounds.get(session.current_caller_key, {})
|
||||||
system_prompt = get_caller_prompt(slim_caller)
|
system_prompt = get_caller_prompt(slim_caller, theme=session.show_theme)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
max_tokens, max_sentences = _pick_response_budget(wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
max_tokens, max_sentences = _pick_response_budget(wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
||||||
messages = _normalize_messages_for_llm(session.conversation[-_dynamic_context_window():])
|
messages = _normalize_messages_for_llm(session.conversation[-_dynamic_context_window():])
|
||||||
_caller_name = session.caller.get("name", "") if session.caller else ""
|
_caller_name = session.caller.get("name", "") if session.caller else ""
|
||||||
_model_override = None # caller_dialog category routes to haiku-4.5
|
_model_override = None # caller_dialog category routes to sonnet-4.6
|
||||||
response = await llm_service.generate(
|
response = await llm_service.generate(
|
||||||
messages=messages,
|
messages=messages,
|
||||||
system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
||||||
max_tokens=max_tokens,
|
max_tokens=max_tokens,
|
||||||
category="caller_dialog",
|
category="caller_dialog",
|
||||||
caller_name=_caller_name,
|
caller_name=_caller_name,
|
||||||
model_override=_model_override,
|
model_override=_model_override,
|
||||||
)
|
|
||||||
response = await _retry_if_too_short(
|
|
||||||
response, llm_service, messages, system_prompt, max_tokens,
|
|
||||||
_caller_name, _model_override, wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
|
||||||
if not is_wrapping and response and "[HANGUP]" not in response and _has_repetition(response, session.conversation):
|
|
||||||
print(f"[Chat] Repetition detected, retrying with anti-repetition prompt...")
|
|
||||||
retry_messages = messages + [{"role": "user", "content": "You're repeating yourself. Say something NEW — a detail you haven't mentioned, a different angle, or move the story forward. Do not repeat facts you've already stated."}]
|
|
||||||
retry_response = await llm_service.generate(
|
|
||||||
messages=retry_messages, system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
|
||||||
max_tokens=max_tokens, category="caller_dialog",
|
|
||||||
caller_name=_caller_name, model_override=_model_override,
|
|
||||||
)
|
)
|
||||||
if retry_response and not _has_repetition(retry_response, session.conversation):
|
response = await _retry_if_too_short(
|
||||||
print(f"[Chat] Anti-repetition retry succeeded")
|
response, llm_service, messages, system_prompt, max_tokens,
|
||||||
response = retry_response
|
_caller_name, _model_override, wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
||||||
else:
|
if not is_wrapping and response and "[HANGUP]" not in response and _has_repetition(response, session.conversation):
|
||||||
print(f"[Chat] Anti-repetition retry no better, keeping original")
|
print(f"[Chat] Repetition detected, retrying with anti-repetition prompt...")
|
||||||
|
retry_messages = messages + [{"role": "user", "content": "You're repeating yourself. Say something NEW — a detail you haven't mentioned, a different angle, or move the story forward. Do not repeat facts you've already stated."}]
|
||||||
|
retry_response = await llm_service.generate(
|
||||||
|
messages=retry_messages, system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
||||||
|
max_tokens=max_tokens, category="caller_dialog",
|
||||||
|
caller_name=_caller_name, model_override=_model_override,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
if retry_response and not _has_repetition(retry_response, session.conversation):
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Chat] Anti-repetition retry succeeded")
|
||||||
|
response = retry_response
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Chat] Anti-repetition retry no better, keeping original")
|
||||||
|
except HTTPException:
|
||||||
|
raise
|
||||||
|
except Exception as e:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Chat] LLM error: {e}")
|
||||||
|
response = "Sorry, I blanked out for a second there. What was that?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
# Discard if call changed while we were generating
|
# Discard if call changed while we were generating
|
||||||
if _session_epoch != epoch:
|
if _session_epoch != epoch:
|
||||||
@@ -4235,12 +4571,12 @@ async def _trigger_ai_auto_respond(accumulated_text: str):
|
|||||||
if session._wrapup_exchanges > 2:
|
if session._wrapup_exchanges > 2:
|
||||||
mood += "\nSay goodbye NOW and end with [HANGUP]\n"
|
mood += "\nSay goodbye NOW and end with [HANGUP]\n"
|
||||||
slim_caller = session.caller_backgrounds.get(session.current_caller_key, {})
|
slim_caller = session.caller_backgrounds.get(session.current_caller_key, {})
|
||||||
system_prompt = get_caller_prompt(slim_caller)
|
system_prompt = get_caller_prompt(slim_caller, theme=session.show_theme)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
max_tokens, max_sentences = _pick_response_budget(wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
max_tokens, max_sentences = _pick_response_budget(wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
||||||
messages = _normalize_messages_for_llm(session.conversation[-_dynamic_context_window():])
|
messages = _normalize_messages_for_llm(session.conversation[-_dynamic_context_window():])
|
||||||
_caller_name = session.caller.get("name", "") if session.caller else ""
|
_caller_name = session.caller.get("name", "") if session.caller else ""
|
||||||
_model_override = None # caller_dialog category routes to haiku-4.5
|
_model_override = None # caller_dialog category routes to sonnet-4.6
|
||||||
response = await llm_service.generate(
|
response = await llm_service.generate(
|
||||||
messages=messages,
|
messages=messages,
|
||||||
system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
||||||
@@ -4342,50 +4678,56 @@ async def ai_respond():
|
|||||||
|
|
||||||
epoch = _session_epoch
|
epoch = _session_epoch
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
async with _ai_response_lock:
|
try:
|
||||||
if _session_epoch != epoch:
|
async with _ai_response_lock:
|
||||||
raise HTTPException(409, "Call ended while waiting")
|
if _session_epoch != epoch:
|
||||||
|
raise HTTPException(409, "Call ended while waiting")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
audio_service.stop_caller_audio()
|
audio_service.stop_caller_audio()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
show_history = session.get_show_history()
|
show_history = session.get_show_history()
|
||||||
is_wrapping = session._wrapping_up
|
is_wrapping = session._wrapping_up
|
||||||
mood = detect_host_mood(session.conversation, wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
mood = detect_host_mood(session.conversation, wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
||||||
if is_wrapping:
|
if is_wrapping:
|
||||||
session._wrapup_exchanges += 1
|
session._wrapup_exchanges += 1
|
||||||
if session._wrapup_exchanges > 2:
|
if session._wrapup_exchanges > 2:
|
||||||
mood += "\nSay goodbye NOW and end with [HANGUP]\n"
|
mood += "\nSay goodbye NOW and end with [HANGUP]\n"
|
||||||
slim_caller = session.caller_backgrounds.get(session.current_caller_key, {})
|
slim_caller = session.caller_backgrounds.get(session.current_caller_key, {})
|
||||||
system_prompt = get_caller_prompt(slim_caller)
|
system_prompt = get_caller_prompt(slim_caller, theme=session.show_theme)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
max_tokens, max_sentences = _pick_response_budget(wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
max_tokens, max_sentences = _pick_response_budget(wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
||||||
messages = _normalize_messages_for_llm(session.conversation[-_dynamic_context_window():])
|
messages = _normalize_messages_for_llm(session.conversation[-_dynamic_context_window():])
|
||||||
_caller_name = session.caller.get("name", "") if session.caller else ""
|
_caller_name = session.caller.get("name", "") if session.caller else ""
|
||||||
_model_override = None # caller_dialog category routes to haiku-4.5
|
_model_override = None # caller_dialog category routes to sonnet-4.6
|
||||||
response = await llm_service.generate(
|
response = await llm_service.generate(
|
||||||
messages=messages,
|
messages=messages,
|
||||||
system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
||||||
max_tokens=max_tokens,
|
max_tokens=max_tokens,
|
||||||
category="caller_dialog",
|
category="caller_dialog",
|
||||||
caller_name=_caller_name,
|
caller_name=_caller_name,
|
||||||
model_override=_model_override,
|
model_override=_model_override,
|
||||||
)
|
|
||||||
response = await _retry_if_too_short(
|
|
||||||
response, llm_service, messages, system_prompt, max_tokens,
|
|
||||||
_caller_name, _model_override, wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
|
||||||
if not is_wrapping and response and "[HANGUP]" not in response and _has_repetition(response, session.conversation):
|
|
||||||
print(f"[Chat] Repetition detected, retrying with anti-repetition prompt...")
|
|
||||||
retry_messages = messages + [{"role": "user", "content": "You're repeating yourself. Say something NEW — a detail you haven't mentioned, a different angle, or move the story forward. Do not repeat facts you've already stated."}]
|
|
||||||
retry_response = await llm_service.generate(
|
|
||||||
messages=retry_messages, system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
|
||||||
max_tokens=max_tokens, category="caller_dialog",
|
|
||||||
caller_name=_caller_name, model_override=_model_override,
|
|
||||||
)
|
)
|
||||||
if retry_response and not _has_repetition(retry_response, session.conversation):
|
response = await _retry_if_too_short(
|
||||||
print(f"[Chat] Anti-repetition retry succeeded")
|
response, llm_service, messages, system_prompt, max_tokens,
|
||||||
response = retry_response
|
_caller_name, _model_override, wrapping_up=is_wrapping)
|
||||||
else:
|
if not is_wrapping and response and "[HANGUP]" not in response and _has_repetition(response, session.conversation):
|
||||||
print(f"[Chat] Anti-repetition retry no better, keeping original")
|
print(f"[Chat] Repetition detected, retrying with anti-repetition prompt...")
|
||||||
|
retry_messages = messages + [{"role": "user", "content": "You're repeating yourself. Say something NEW — a detail you haven't mentioned, a different angle, or move the story forward. Do not repeat facts you've already stated."}]
|
||||||
|
retry_response = await llm_service.generate(
|
||||||
|
messages=retry_messages, system_prompt=system_prompt,
|
||||||
|
max_tokens=max_tokens, category="caller_dialog",
|
||||||
|
caller_name=_caller_name, model_override=_model_override,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
if retry_response and not _has_repetition(retry_response, session.conversation):
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Chat] Anti-repetition retry succeeded")
|
||||||
|
response = retry_response
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Chat] Anti-repetition retry no better, keeping original")
|
||||||
|
except HTTPException:
|
||||||
|
raise
|
||||||
|
except Exception as e:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[AI-Respond] LLM error: {e}")
|
||||||
|
response = "Sorry, I blanked out for a second there. What was that?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
if _session_epoch != epoch:
|
if _session_epoch != epoch:
|
||||||
raise HTTPException(409, "Call changed during response")
|
raise HTTPException(409, "Call changed during response")
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -1344,14 +1344,26 @@ class AudioService:
|
|||||||
if self._monitor_write:
|
if self._monitor_write:
|
||||||
self._monitor_write(indata[:, record_channel].copy())
|
self._monitor_write(indata[:, record_channel].copy())
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
self._stem_mic_stream = sd.InputStream(
|
def _open():
|
||||||
device=self.input_device,
|
return sd.InputStream(
|
||||||
channels=max_channels,
|
device=self.input_device,
|
||||||
samplerate=device_sr,
|
channels=max_channels,
|
||||||
dtype=np.float32,
|
samplerate=device_sr,
|
||||||
blocksize=1024,
|
dtype=np.float32,
|
||||||
callback=callback,
|
blocksize=1024,
|
||||||
)
|
callback=callback,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
self._stem_mic_stream = _open()
|
||||||
|
except Exception as first_err:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[StemRecorder] InputStream open failed ({first_err}), refreshing PortAudio and retrying...")
|
||||||
|
self._refresh_devices()
|
||||||
|
device_info = sd.query_devices(self.input_device)
|
||||||
|
max_channels = device_info['max_input_channels']
|
||||||
|
device_sr = int(device_info['default_samplerate'])
|
||||||
|
self._stem_mic_stream = _open()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
self._stem_mic_stream.start()
|
self._stem_mic_stream.start()
|
||||||
print(f"[StemRecorder] Host mic capture started (device {self.input_device} ch {self.input_channel} @ {device_sr}Hz)")
|
print(f"[StemRecorder] Host mic capture started (device {self.input_device} ch {self.input_channel} @ {device_sr}Hz)")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
|
|||||||
from dataclasses import dataclass
|
from dataclasses import dataclass
|
||||||
from typing import Optional
|
from typing import Optional
|
||||||
import json
|
import json
|
||||||
|
import random
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
import httpx
|
import httpx
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
@@ -51,23 +52,48 @@ def parse_batch_response(raw: str) -> list[CallerIdentity]:
|
|||||||
|
|
||||||
def resolve_voice(suggestion: str, roster: list[str]) -> str:
|
def resolve_voice(suggestion: str, roster: list[str]) -> str:
|
||||||
"""Map sonnet's voice suggestion to a real voice in the roster.
|
"""Map sonnet's voice suggestion to a real voice in the roster.
|
||||||
Case-insensitive exact match; deterministic fallback to first roster entry."""
|
Case-insensitive exact match; random fallback if unmatched (so LLM
|
||||||
if not suggestion or not roster:
|
hallucinations don't all collapse onto roster[0])."""
|
||||||
return roster[0] if roster else ""
|
if not roster:
|
||||||
lower_map = {v.lower(): v for v in roster}
|
return ""
|
||||||
return lower_map.get(suggestion.lower(), roster[0])
|
if suggestion:
|
||||||
|
match = {v.lower(): v for v in roster}.get(suggestion.lower())
|
||||||
|
if match:
|
||||||
|
return match
|
||||||
|
fallback = random.choice(roster)
|
||||||
|
print(f"[caller_gen] voice '{suggestion}' not in roster — random fallback to '{fallback}'")
|
||||||
|
return fallback
|
||||||
|
return random.choice(roster)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
BATCH_SYSTEM_PROMPT = """You are writing a roster of callers for Luke's late-night radio show in New Mexico.
|
BATCH_SYSTEM_PROMPT = """You are writing a roster of callers for Luke's late-night radio show, broadcast out of Alpine, Texas, in the Big Bend country of far West Texas.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
WHERE THESE CALLERS LIVE: The show's world is the Big Bend region of far West Texas — high desert, remote, dark skies, ranching country up against the Mexico border. Most callers are from or know this area. Ground them in REAL places and facts only — never invent businesses or landmarks that don't exist. The towns:
|
||||||
|
- Alpine — the hub of the region (about 6,000 people), Brewster County seat, home of Sul Ross State University, a mile-high old ranching and railroad town with a small arts scene. The show broadcasts from here.
|
||||||
|
- Marfa — minimalist-art tourist town (the Chinati Foundation / Donald Judd, the Prada Marfa installation), famous for the unexplained Marfa Lights. Old ranching families chafing against an influx of artists and out-of-towners.
|
||||||
|
- Marathon — tiny, known for the historic Gage Hotel, the eastern gateway to Big Bend National Park.
|
||||||
|
- Terlingua — a quicksilver-mining ghost town turned off-grid haven for desert eccentrics; famous for its chili cookoff, river-rafting outfitters on the Rio Grande, and the Starlight Theatre. Right up against the Mexico border (Boquillas crossing).
|
||||||
|
- Fort Stockton — an oilfield and I-10 town to the north in Pecos County (Paisano Pete the roadrunner), more working-class and blue-collar than the artsy towns.
|
||||||
|
- The Big Bend itself — the Chisos Mountains, the Rio Grande, some of the darkest night skies in the country (the McDonald Observatory is near Fort Davis), brutally remote, with Permian Basin oil money booming to the north.
|
||||||
|
Callers can reference real ranches, the heat and wind, the drive times (everything is hours apart), border life, Sul Ross students, oilfield work, tourists, and the desert weirdos — but keep it real and specific to this place.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
CREATIVE RANGE: Your callers must span the emotional range of Howard Stern (chaos, strong characters), Coast to Coast AM (earnest weirdos, sincere believers), Loveline (real problems, real advice-seeking), Delilah (emotional vulnerability, connection), and Opie and Anthony (sharp, irreverent, specific people).
|
CREATIVE RANGE: Your callers must span the emotional range of Howard Stern (chaos, strong characters), Coast to Coast AM (earnest weirdos, sincere believers), Loveline (real problems, real advice-seeking), Delilah (emotional vulnerability, connection), and Opie and Anthony (sharp, irreverent, specific people).
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
ROSTER MIX — VARY THE CALL TYPES. A great show is not ten people in moral crisis. Build the roster of 10 callers roughly like this:
|
||||||
|
- 4-5 DILEMMA CALLS (the dramatic spine): real human conflict with STAKES — moral dilemmas, confessions, betrayals, impossible choices, or something the caller did and can't take back. Think: "I found out my dad has a second family," "I got someone fired and they deserved it but now their kid is sick," "my best friend's wife hit on me and I didn't say no." These need genuine emotional weight.
|
||||||
|
- 2-3 STORY / ENTHUSIAST CALLS (the relief): callers with a wild thing that happened to them, a fascinating obsession or piece of knowledge, a strange-but-true story, or a vivid slice of life. NO deep moral dilemma required — they call because the story is great, the fact is amazing, or they're bursting to talk about the thing they love. Still specific, still a reason they called TONIGHT, but the energy is delight or wonder or a great yarn, not anguish.
|
||||||
|
- 1-2 TRUE BELIEVER / CHAOS CALLS (the spice): an earnest, sincere weirdo — UFOs, cryptids, a government conspiracy, a pattern only they can see, a paranormal experience (Coast to Coast AM energy, dead serious about it) — OR a big eccentric personality on a tear about something trivial. Played straight, never winking.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Every caller still needs SOMETHING that makes the audience lean in — a problem, a secret, a story, a wild belief, or an irresistible enthusiasm. But not every caller carries grief. Let the show breathe.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Maximum character distance between callers. No two callers should feel like siblings.
|
Maximum character distance between callers. No two callers should feel like siblings.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
ANTI-COLLISION RULE — THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE: All callers in this roster must be clearly differentiated. No two callers may share the same hobby, obsession, profession archetype, or story theme. Specifically forbidden within a single roster: two BBQ competitors, two taxidermists, two amateur-radio or mystery-signal callers, two callers with ex-spouse drama, two conspiracy/pattern-seers, two retired military, two grandmothers-of-many, two callers calling about a weird neighbor, two callers with religious-object stories. Each caller's defining "thing" — their hook, their obsession, the specific topic they're calling about — must appear exactly once in the roster. Before finalizing, scan your output and swap any collisions.
|
ANTI-COLLISION RULE — THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE: All callers in this roster must be clearly differentiated. No two callers may share the same hobby, obsession, profession archetype, or story theme. Specifically forbidden within a single roster: two BBQ competitors, two taxidermists, two amateur-radio or mystery-signal callers, two callers with ex-spouse drama, two believers chasing the SAME phenomenon (e.g. two UFO callers, or two cryptid callers — if you have two believer calls they must be about completely different things), two retired military, two grandmothers-of-many, two callers calling about a weird neighbor, two callers with religious-object stories. Each caller's defining "thing" — their hook, their obsession, the specific topic they're calling about — must appear exactly once in the roster. Before finalizing, scan your output and swap any collisions.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Do not default to sitcom plots. Real humans are specific and strange. Give each caller details that could only belong to them.
|
Do not default to sitcom plots. Real humans are specific and strange. Give each caller details that could only belong to them.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
OPENING LINE RULES: Each caller's opening_line must be unique and specific to their situation. NEVER write "I've been listening for X years" or "long-time listener, first-time caller" or any variant. The caller should jump into their story or problem immediately — nervous, excited, angry, whatever fits. The opening line is the hook that makes the audience lean in.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
You will output strict JSON with a "callers" array. Each caller has exactly these fields: name, age, voice_suggestion, location, identity, situation, reason_calling, opening_line, secret_want, specific_details (array of 2-3 strings), emotional_register."""
|
You will output strict JSON with a "callers" array. Each caller has exactly these fields: name, age, voice_suggestion, location, identity, situation, reason_calling, opening_line, secret_want, specific_details (array of 2-3 strings), emotional_register."""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
@@ -81,6 +107,19 @@ def build_batch_prompt(ctx: dict) -> str:
|
|||||||
lines.append(f"- {h}")
|
lines.append(f"- {h}")
|
||||||
lines.append("")
|
lines.append("")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
theme = (ctx.get("theme") or "").strip()
|
||||||
|
if theme:
|
||||||
|
lines.append(f'TONIGHT\'S SHOW THEME: "{theme}"')
|
||||||
|
lines.append(
|
||||||
|
f'Roughly 2/3 of callers MUST be calling BECAUSE OF this theme — the theme '
|
||||||
|
f'should be woven directly into their reason_calling and situation, not '
|
||||||
|
f'just acknowledged. Make the connection specific and personal (a story, a '
|
||||||
|
f'conflict, a moment) not abstract. The remaining 1/3 of the roster can be '
|
||||||
|
f'unrelated walk-ins for variety. Do NOT make every caller theme-connected — '
|
||||||
|
f'variety still matters.'
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
lines.append("")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
if ctx["recent_caller_summaries"]:
|
if ctx["recent_caller_summaries"]:
|
||||||
lines.append("Recent callers (DO NOT repeat these archetypes or situations):")
|
lines.append("Recent callers (DO NOT repeat these archetypes or situations):")
|
||||||
for s in ctx["recent_caller_summaries"]:
|
for s in ctx["recent_caller_summaries"]:
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -37,10 +37,15 @@ class TTSCallRecord:
|
|||||||
OPENROUTER_PRICING = {
|
OPENROUTER_PRICING = {
|
||||||
# Claude
|
# Claude
|
||||||
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6": {"prompt": 3.00, "completion": 15.00},
|
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6": {"prompt": 3.00, "completion": 15.00},
|
||||||
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4-5": {"prompt": 3.00, "completion": 15.00},
|
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.5": {"prompt": 3.00, "completion": 15.00},
|
||||||
|
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4-5": {"prompt": 3.00, "completion": 15.00}, # retired id, historical
|
||||||
"anthropic/claude-haiku-4.5": {"prompt": 0.80, "completion": 4.00},
|
"anthropic/claude-haiku-4.5": {"prompt": 0.80, "completion": 4.00},
|
||||||
"anthropic/claude-3-haiku": {"prompt": 0.25, "completion": 1.25},
|
"anthropic/claude-3-haiku": {"prompt": 0.25, "completion": 1.25},
|
||||||
# Grok
|
# Grok
|
||||||
|
"x-ai/grok-4.3": {"prompt": 1.25, "completion": 2.50},
|
||||||
|
"x-ai/grok-4.5": {"prompt": 2.00, "completion": 6.00},
|
||||||
|
"x-ai/grok-4.20": {"prompt": 1.25, "completion": 2.50},
|
||||||
|
# Retired on OpenRouter — kept so historical records stay costable
|
||||||
"x-ai/grok-4.1-fast": {"prompt": 0.20, "completion": 0.50},
|
"x-ai/grok-4.1-fast": {"prompt": 0.20, "completion": 0.50},
|
||||||
"x-ai/grok-4": {"prompt": 3.00, "completion": 15.00},
|
"x-ai/grok-4": {"prompt": 3.00, "completion": 15.00},
|
||||||
"x-ai/grok-4-fast": {"prompt": 5.00, "completion": 15.00},
|
"x-ai/grok-4-fast": {"prompt": 5.00, "completion": 15.00},
|
||||||
@@ -60,6 +65,7 @@ OPENROUTER_PRICING = {
|
|||||||
"google/gemini-flash-1.5": {"prompt": 0.075, "completion": 0.30},
|
"google/gemini-flash-1.5": {"prompt": 0.075, "completion": 0.30},
|
||||||
# Meta
|
# Meta
|
||||||
"meta-llama/llama-3.3-70b-instruct": {"prompt": 0.10, "completion": 0.32},
|
"meta-llama/llama-3.3-70b-instruct": {"prompt": 0.10, "completion": 0.32},
|
||||||
|
"meta-llama/llama-3.1-8b-instruct": {"prompt": 0.05, "completion": 0.08},
|
||||||
"meta-llama/llama-4-maverick": {"prompt": 0.20, "completion": 0.60},
|
"meta-llama/llama-4-maverick": {"prompt": 0.20, "completion": 0.60},
|
||||||
# Other
|
# Other
|
||||||
"moonshotai/kimi-k2": {"prompt": 0.60, "completion": 2.00},
|
"moonshotai/kimi-k2": {"prompt": 0.60, "completion": 2.00},
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ INTERN_SYSTEM_PROMPT = """You are Devon, the 23-year-old intern on "Luke at the
|
|||||||
|
|
||||||
YOUR ROLE: You're the show's researcher and general assistant. You look things up, fact-check claims, pull up information when asked, and occasionally interject with relevant facts or opinions. You do NOT host. You do NOT screen calls. You sit in the booth and try to be useful.
|
YOUR ROLE: You're the show's researcher and general assistant. You look things up, fact-check claims, pull up information when asked, and occasionally interject with relevant facts or opinions. You do NOT host. You do NOT screen calls. You sit in the booth and try to be useful.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
YOUR BACKGROUND: Communications degree from NMSU. You've been interning here for a few weeks now. You drive a 2009 Civic with a permanent check engine light. You live in a studio in Deming. You take this job seriously even though nobody else seems to take you seriously. You are actively looking for a girlfriend and you are not subtle about it. You see your position at the radio station as a way to meet women — you'll try to impress female callers, ask if they're single, suggest they come by the studio, or find excuses to keep them on the line longer. Luke hates this. You have a deeply strange personal history that you reference casually — a complicated sexual past, weird childhood experiences, inexplicable life choices. SOMETIMES (maybe 1 in 3 responses, not every time) you'll mention one of these things unprompted like it's completely normal. "Yeah that reminds me of when my ex and I got stuck in that storage unit for a whole weekend — anyway, it says here that..." The rest of the time you just answer the question or react normally without a personal callback.
|
YOUR BACKGROUND: Communications degree from NMSU. You've been interning here for a few weeks now. You drive a 2009 Civic with a permanent check engine light. You live in a studio in Alpine, Texas — you moved out to the Big Bend with the show. You take this job seriously even though nobody else seems to take you seriously. You are actively looking for a girlfriend and you are not subtle about it. You see your position at the radio station as a way to meet women — you'll try to impress female callers, ask if they're single, suggest they come by the studio, or find excuses to keep them on the line longer. Luke hates this. You have a deeply strange personal history that you reference casually — a complicated sexual past, weird childhood experiences, inexplicable life choices. SOMETIMES (maybe 1 in 3 responses, not every time) you'll mention one of these things unprompted like it's completely normal. "Yeah that reminds me of when my ex and I got stuck in that storage unit for a whole weekend — anyway, it says here that..." The rest of the time you just answer the question or react normally without a personal callback.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
YOUR PERSONALITY:
|
YOUR PERSONALITY:
|
||||||
- You are a weird little dude. Kinda creepy, very funny, awkward, and surprisingly sharp. You give off a vibe that something is slightly off about you but people can't quite place it. But underneath it all, you are genuinely lovable. You have a good heart. You root for people. You get excited for callers. You care about the show. People should hear you and think "this guy is insane" and also "I love this guy." You are the kind of person who is impossible not to root for even when you're being deeply strange.
|
- You are a weird little dude. Kinda creepy, very funny, awkward, and surprisingly sharp. You give off a vibe that something is slightly off about you but people can't quite place it. But underneath it all, you are genuinely lovable. You have a good heart. You root for people. You get excited for callers. You care about the show. People should hear you and think "this guy is insane" and also "I love this guy." You are the kind of person who is impossible not to root for even when you're being deeply strange.
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -12,33 +12,32 @@ from .cost_tracker import cost_tracker
|
|||||||
OPENROUTER_MODELS = [
|
OPENROUTER_MODELS = [
|
||||||
# Primary
|
# Primary
|
||||||
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6",
|
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6",
|
||||||
"x-ai/grok-4.1-fast",
|
"x-ai/grok-4.3",
|
||||||
"x-ai/grok-4",
|
"x-ai/grok-4.5",
|
||||||
# Style-matched pool
|
# Style-matched pool
|
||||||
"mistralai/mistral-large-2512",
|
"mistralai/mistral-large-2512",
|
||||||
"deepseek/deepseek-r1-distill-llama-70b",
|
"deepseek/deepseek-r1-distill-llama-70b",
|
||||||
"meta-llama/llama-3.3-70b-instruct",
|
"meta-llama/llama-3.3-70b-instruct",
|
||||||
"google/gemini-2.5-flash",
|
"google/gemini-2.5-flash",
|
||||||
# Other good options
|
# Other good options
|
||||||
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4-5",
|
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.5",
|
||||||
"anthropic/claude-haiku-4.5",
|
"anthropic/claude-haiku-4.5",
|
||||||
"deepseek/deepseek-chat-v3-0324",
|
"deepseek/deepseek-chat-v3-0324",
|
||||||
"mistralai/mistral-small-2603",
|
"mistralai/mistral-small-2603",
|
||||||
"google/gemini-2.5-pro",
|
"google/gemini-2.5-pro",
|
||||||
"google/gemini-3-flash-preview",
|
"google/gemini-3-flash-preview",
|
||||||
"x-ai/grok-4-fast",
|
"x-ai/grok-4.20",
|
||||||
"moonshotai/kimi-k2",
|
"moonshotai/kimi-k2",
|
||||||
"qwen/qwen3-235b-a22b",
|
"qwen/qwen3-235b-a22b",
|
||||||
"meta-llama/llama-4-maverick",
|
"meta-llama/llama-4-maverick",
|
||||||
# Legacy
|
# Legacy
|
||||||
"anthropic/claude-3-haiku",
|
"anthropic/claude-3-haiku",
|
||||||
"google/gemini-flash-1.5",
|
|
||||||
"meta-llama/llama-3.1-8b-instruct",
|
"meta-llama/llama-3.1-8b-instruct",
|
||||||
]
|
]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
# Fast models to try as fallbacks (cheap, fast, good enough for conversation)
|
# Fast models to try as fallbacks (cheap, fast, good enough for conversation)
|
||||||
FALLBACK_MODELS = [
|
FALLBACK_MODELS = [
|
||||||
"mistralai/mistral-small-creative",
|
"mistralai/mistral-small-2603",
|
||||||
"google/gemini-2.5-flash",
|
"google/gemini-2.5-flash",
|
||||||
"openai/gpt-4o-mini",
|
"openai/gpt-4o-mini",
|
||||||
]
|
]
|
||||||
@@ -332,8 +331,8 @@ class LLMService:
|
|||||||
# - Grok/Mistral/DeepSeek/Kimi: slightly warmer than Sonnet defaults
|
# - Grok/Mistral/DeepSeek/Kimi: slightly warmer than Sonnet defaults
|
||||||
_CALLER_DIALOG_MODEL_PARAMS = {
|
_CALLER_DIALOG_MODEL_PARAMS = {
|
||||||
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6": {"temperature": 0.65, "frequency_penalty": 0.3, "presence_penalty": 0.15},
|
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6": {"temperature": 0.65, "frequency_penalty": 0.3, "presence_penalty": 0.15},
|
||||||
"x-ai/grok-4.1-fast": {"temperature": 0.7, "frequency_penalty": 0.2, "presence_penalty": 0.1},
|
"x-ai/grok-4.3": {"temperature": 0.7, "frequency_penalty": 0.2, "presence_penalty": 0.1},
|
||||||
"x-ai/grok-4": {"temperature": 0.7, "frequency_penalty": 0.2, "presence_penalty": 0.1},
|
"x-ai/grok-4.5": {"temperature": 0.7, "frequency_penalty": 0.2, "presence_penalty": 0.1},
|
||||||
"qwen/qwen3-235b-a22b": {"temperature": 0.6, "frequency_penalty": 0.5, "presence_penalty": 0.2},
|
"qwen/qwen3-235b-a22b": {"temperature": 0.6, "frequency_penalty": 0.5, "presence_penalty": 0.2},
|
||||||
"mistralai/mistral-large-2512": {"temperature": 0.7, "frequency_penalty": 0.2, "presence_penalty": 0.1},
|
"mistralai/mistral-large-2512": {"temperature": 0.7, "frequency_penalty": 0.2, "presence_penalty": 0.1},
|
||||||
"deepseek/deepseek-chat-v3-0324": {"temperature": 0.7, "frequency_penalty": 0.2, "presence_penalty": 0.1},
|
"deepseek/deepseek-chat-v3-0324": {"temperature": 0.7, "frequency_penalty": 0.2, "presence_penalty": 0.1},
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -7,7 +7,9 @@ from dataclasses import dataclass
|
|||||||
|
|
||||||
import httpx
|
import httpx
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
SEARXNG_URL = "http://localhost:8888"
|
from ..config import settings
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
SEARXNG_URL = settings.searxng_url
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
@dataclass
|
@dataclass
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -39,6 +39,16 @@ class RegularCallerService:
|
|||||||
def get_regulars(self) -> list[dict]:
|
def get_regulars(self) -> list[dict]:
|
||||||
return list(self._regulars)
|
return list(self._regulars)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_by_name(self, name: str) -> Optional[dict]:
|
||||||
|
"""Find a regular by name (case-insensitive)."""
|
||||||
|
if not name:
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
target = name.lower()
|
||||||
|
for r in self._regulars:
|
||||||
|
if r.get("name", "").lower() == target:
|
||||||
|
return r
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def get_returning_callers(self, count: int = 2) -> list[dict]:
|
def get_returning_callers(self, count: int = 2) -> list[dict]:
|
||||||
"""Get up to `count` regulars for returning caller slots"""
|
"""Get up to `count` regulars for returning caller slots"""
|
||||||
import random
|
import random
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -103,7 +103,7 @@ async def transcribe_audio(audio_data: bytes, source_sample_rate: int = None,
|
|||||||
audio_16k = audio
|
audio_16k = audio
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
# Build initial prompt — context helps Whisper with names and topic-specific words
|
# Build initial prompt — context helps Whisper with names and topic-specific words
|
||||||
initial_prompt = "Luke at the Roost, a late-night radio talk show in New Mexico. The host Luke talks to callers about life, relationships, sports, politics, and pop culture."
|
initial_prompt = "Luke at the Roost, a late-night radio talk show in Alpine, Texas, in the Big Bend region. The host Luke talks to callers about life, relationships, sports, politics, and pop culture, with his intern Devon. Callers reference Alpine, Marfa, Marathon, Terlingua, Fort Stockton, and Big Bend."
|
||||||
if context_hint:
|
if context_hint:
|
||||||
initial_prompt += f" {context_hint}"
|
initial_prompt += f" {context_hint}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|||||||
+31
-9
@@ -83,14 +83,18 @@ VITS_SPEAKERS = {
|
|||||||
DEFAULT_VITS_SPEAKER = "p225"
|
DEFAULT_VITS_SPEAKER = "p225"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
# Inworld voice mapping - maps ElevenLabs voice IDs to Inworld voices
|
# Inworld voice mapping - maps ElevenLabs voice IDs to Inworld voices
|
||||||
# Full voice list from API (English): Abby, Alex, Amina, Anjali, Arjun, Ashley,
|
# Full voice list from API (English, as of 2026-05): Abby, Alex, Amina, Anjali,
|
||||||
# Blake, Brian, Callum, Carter, Celeste, Chloe, Claire, Clive, Craig, Darlene,
|
# Arjun, Ashley, Avery, Bianca, Blake, Brandon, Brian, Callum, Carter, Cedric,
|
||||||
# Deborah, Dennis, Derek, Dominus, Edward, Elizabeth, Elliot, Ethan, Evan, Evelyn,
|
# Celeste, Chloe, Claire, Clive, Conrad, Craig, Damon, Darlene, Deborah, Dennis,
|
||||||
# Gareth, Graham, Grant, Hades, Hamish, Hana, Hank, Jake, James, Jason, Jessica,
|
# Derek, Dominus, Duncan, Edward, Eleanor, Elizabeth, Elliot, Ethan, Evan,
|
||||||
# Julia, Kayla, Kelsey, Lauren, Liam, Loretta, Luna, Malcolm, Mark, Marlene,
|
# Evelyn, Felix, Gareth, Graham, Grant, Hades, Hamish, Hana, Hank, Jake, James,
|
||||||
# Miranda, Mortimer, Nate, Oliver, Olivia, Pippa, Pixie, Priya, Ronald, Rupert,
|
# Jason, Jessica, Jonah, Julia, Kayla, Kelsey, Lauren, Levi, Liam, Loretta,
|
||||||
# Saanvi, Sarah, Sebastian, Serena, Shaun, Simon, Snik, Tessa, Theodore, Timothy,
|
# Lucian, Luna, Malcolm, Marcus, Mark, Marlene, Mia, Miranda, Mortimer, Nadia,
|
||||||
# Tyler, Veronica, Victor, Victoria, Vinny, Wendy
|
# Naomi, Nate, Oliver, Olivia, Pippa, Pixie, Priya, Reed, Riley, Ronald, Rupert,
|
||||||
|
# Saanvi, Sarah, Sebastian, Selene, Serena, Shaun, Simon, Snik, Sophie, Tessa,
|
||||||
|
# Theodore, Timothy, Trevor, Tristan, Tyler, Veronica, Victor, Victoria, Vinny,
|
||||||
|
# Wendy. Not in our caller pool: Abby/Mia/Pixie/Riley (child voices), Dominus/
|
||||||
|
# Lucian/Selene/Snik (theatrical), Dominus/Hades blacklisted.
|
||||||
INWORLD_VOICES = {
|
INWORLD_VOICES = {
|
||||||
# Original voice IDs
|
# Original voice IDs
|
||||||
"VR6AewLTigWG4xSOukaG": "Edward", # Tony - fast-talking, emphatic, streetwise
|
"VR6AewLTigWG4xSOukaG": "Edward", # Tony - fast-talking, emphatic, streetwise
|
||||||
@@ -161,11 +165,18 @@ VOICE_PROFILES = {
|
|||||||
"Elliot": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"}, # used by Otis (comedian)
|
"Elliot": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"}, # used by Otis (comedian)
|
||||||
# Remaining male pool voices
|
# Remaining male pool voices
|
||||||
"Arjun": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Arjun": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
|
"Avery": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"}, # youthful, performative, gameshow host
|
||||||
|
"Brandon": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "high", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"}, # bold, strident, news-style
|
||||||
"Brian": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Brian": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
"Callum": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Callum": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
|
"Cedric": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"}, # crisp, measured, formal announcements
|
||||||
|
"Conrad": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"}, # gruff, weathered detective
|
||||||
|
"Damon": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"}, # calm, raspy, atmospheric
|
||||||
"Derek": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Derek": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
|
"Duncan": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"}, # warm, articulate British
|
||||||
"Ethan": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Ethan": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
"Evan": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Evan": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
|
"Felix": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"}, # calm, friendly British
|
||||||
"Gareth": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Gareth": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
"Graham": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "low", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
"Graham": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "low", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
||||||
"Grant": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Grant": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
@@ -175,13 +186,19 @@ VOICE_PROFILES = {
|
|||||||
"Jake": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Jake": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
"James": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"James": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
"Jason": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Jason": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
|
"Jonah": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"}, # soothing, calm, reassuring
|
||||||
|
"Levi": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"}, # measured, ominous suspense
|
||||||
"Liam": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Liam": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
"Malcolm": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
"Malcolm": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
||||||
|
"Marcus": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"}, # authoritative, empathetic
|
||||||
"Mortimer": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
"Mortimer": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
||||||
"Nate": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Nate": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
"Oliver": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Oliver": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
|
"Reed": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"}, # clear, professional American
|
||||||
"Rupert": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
"Rupert": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
||||||
"Simon": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Simon": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
|
"Trevor": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "high", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"}, # punchy, expressive, energetic promos
|
||||||
|
"Tristan": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"}, # deliberate, controlled, documentary
|
||||||
"Tyler": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Tyler": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
"Victor": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
"Victor": {"weight": "heavy", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
||||||
"Vinny": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Vinny": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
@@ -200,10 +217,12 @@ VOICE_PROFILES = {
|
|||||||
"Kelsey": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "young"}, # used by Maxine (quiet/nervous)
|
"Kelsey": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "young"}, # used by Maxine (quiet/nervous)
|
||||||
# Remaining female pool voices
|
# Remaining female pool voices
|
||||||
"Anjali": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Anjali": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
|
"Bianca": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"}, # deep, controlled corporate
|
||||||
"Celeste": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Celeste": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
"Chloe": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Chloe": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
"Claire": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Claire": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
"Darlene": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
"Darlene": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
||||||
|
"Eleanor": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"}, # polished, approachable British
|
||||||
"Elizabeth": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
"Elizabeth": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
||||||
"Jessica": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Jessica": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
"Kayla": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Kayla": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
@@ -212,9 +231,12 @@ VOICE_PROFILES = {
|
|||||||
"Luna": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Luna": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
"Marlene": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
"Marlene": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "neutral", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
||||||
"Miranda": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Miranda": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
|
"Nadia": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"}, # personable, lively
|
||||||
|
"Naomi": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"}, # warm, grounded narrative
|
||||||
"Pippa": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Pippa": {"weight": "light", "energy": "high", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
"Saanvi": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
"Saanvi": {"weight": "light", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "young"},
|
||||||
"Serena": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Serena": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
|
"Sophie": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "warm", "age_feel": "middle"}, # friendly British
|
||||||
"Veronica": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
"Veronica": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "medium", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "middle"},
|
||||||
"Victoria": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
"Victoria": {"weight": "medium", "energy": "low", "warmth": "cool", "age_feel": "mature"},
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
@@ -771,7 +793,7 @@ async def generate_speech_inworld(text: str, voice_id: str, emotional_register:
|
|||||||
payload = {
|
payload = {
|
||||||
"text": text,
|
"text": text,
|
||||||
"voiceId": voice,
|
"voiceId": voice,
|
||||||
"modelId": "inworld-tts-1.5-max",
|
"modelId": "inworld-tts-2",
|
||||||
"temperature": temperature,
|
"temperature": temperature,
|
||||||
"applyTextNormalization": "ON",
|
"applyTextNormalization": "ON",
|
||||||
"audioConfig": {
|
"audioConfig": {
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,554 @@
|
|||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"lineups": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785804183.5018802,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Silas",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "The Wellspring's first week on the new Terlingua land has hit a concrete crisis: their artisanal soap operation shipped three pallets of inventory to a freight depot in Odessa \u2014 the nearest hub \u2014 and the driver refuses to make the final leg to Terlingua without a paved-road guarantee Silas cannot give. Meanwhile, eleven members stayed behind in Deming, and two of those who did make the move left after three days, citing the heat and the lack of cell service. Tonight a member named Petra \u2014 one of Silas's longest-tenured people, a ceramicist who has been with The Wellspring for six years \u2014 told him she's leaving at sunrise because she can't live somewhere without a postal address. The soap pallets are sitting in Odessa. Petra is sleeping in her car. And Silas, standing on raw desert under a sky so dark he says it looks like a wound in the ceiling, is genuinely uncertain for the first time whether he made the right call moving everyone out here.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Sebastian"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Darlene",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Darlene spent thirty-one years handling deed transfers, liens, and title searches for Pecos County. She retired four years ago. Last week her nephew \u2014 who works for a land-acquisition company out of Midland \u2014 let it slip at a family barbecue that his company has been buying up surface rights in a specific forty-square-mile corridor north of Fort Stockton using a web of LLCs with different registered agents so the pattern doesn't show up in any single county search. Darlene knows how to read those records. She spent two days at the courthouse pulling filings and confirmed it: nine separate LLCs, all registered in Delaware, all with the same notary stamp on the original formation docs. She doesn't know what they're positioning for \u2014 pipeline easement, a solar corridor, something else \u2014 but she knows the ranching families selling don't know they're all selling to the same buyer. Her nephew doesn't know she figured it out. She hasn't told anyone.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Loretta"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Trace",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Trace has no moral crisis. He is calling because forty minutes ago, while doing his rounds at the Sul Ross livestock barn complex on the east side of campus, he found a full-grown pronghorn antelope standing completely still in the center aisle between the horse stalls. Not injured. Not panicked. Just standing there in the fluorescent light looking at him like it had somewhere to be. He has no idea how it got in \u2014 the barn doors were latched. The horses are losing their minds. The pronghorn is still there. He called animal control and got a voicemail. He called his supervisor and got told to 'use your judgment, son.' He is using the radio.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Levi"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Mireille",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Mireille has been having an affair for eight months with a married man \u2014 Gil, a Marfa old-timer, third-generation ranching family, the kind of man whose grandfather's name is on a road. She knew it was wrong and she was ending it anyway. Then two weeks ago Gil had a stroke. He is alive, recovering at a hospital in Odessa, but his speech is affected and his wife \u2014 a woman named Sandra who has always been perfectly cold to Mireille at community events \u2014 has moved into full caretaker mode. Gil's adult daughter, who is running the ranch now, came to Mireille's studio last Thursday and handed her a handwritten note. It was in Gil's handwriting, clearly written before the stroke, and it said only: 'If something happens to me, tell Mireille I meant it.' Mireille does not know what he meant. She does not know if Sandra knows about her. She does not know what 'I meant it' refers to \u2014 whether it is a declaration of love, a reference to a specific conversation, or something else entirely. She has been holding this note for a week.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Naomi"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Cutter",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Cutter has been building and repairing fence lines across Big Bend country his whole adult life \u2014 it's solitary work, days alone on a ranch road with a post-pounder and a roll of barbed wire. Three weeks ago on a job on a large private ranch north of Marathon, he found a section of fence that had been cut cleanly \u2014 not broken, cut, with wire cutters \u2014 on both sides of a buried metal box about the size of a shoebox that someone had sunk into the caliche. The box had a combination lock on it. He didn't open it. He reset the fence, finished the job, and said nothing to the ranch manager because he told himself it was none of his business. He's been on that same ranch twice since for other fence work and checked the spot both times. The box is still there. Tonight he drove past the turnoff on his way back to Marathon and sat on the road for twenty minutes trying to decide if he should go back. He didn't.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Hank"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Bexley",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Bexley's best friend since high school is a woman named Tatum who moved to Alpine two years ago to be with her boyfriend, Cord \u2014 a Sul Ross graduate student in geology. Bexley thinks Cord is controlling: he monitors Tatum's location on her phone, calls during Bexley's visits until Tatum leaves the room, and has slowly isolated Tatum from her Odessa friendships. Bexley has said all of this to Tatum directly, twice. Tatum has defended Cord both times and told Bexley she's projecting. Last week Bexley processed an ER intake \u2014 she cannot say who, HIPAA \u2014 and the details of the intake, which she is not going to share, made her believe with near-certainty that Tatum had been in that ER without telling her. Bexley cannot ask Tatum directly without revealing that she works intake. She cannot confirm what she thinks she knows. And if she's wrong, she will have accused her best friend's boyfriend of something serious based on a records inference she was never supposed to make.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Wendy"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Prentiss",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Prentiss has no crisis. He is calling because last Thursday, on a solo paddle through Santa Elena Canyon \u2014 the sheer limestone walls rising 1,500 feet on both sides, the Rio Grande running low and green in August \u2014 he had an experience he has been trying to describe accurately to people ever since and failing. At a particular bend where the canyon walls narrow and the river doubles back on itself, the sound went strange: his paddle strokes came back to him delayed, the echo timing was wrong in a way he couldn't explain, and for approximately ninety seconds he heard what he can only describe as a second river \u2014 same water sounds, same rhythm, but offset, like an audio track slightly out of sync with itself. He's run Santa Elena Canyon over four hundred times. He's never heard anything like it. He's not saying it was supernatural. He's saying it was acoustically real and he can't explain it and he wants to know if anyone else has heard it.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Conrad"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Odette",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Odette's seventeen-year-old son, Jerome, has been accepted \u2014 informally, pending a formal offer \u2014 to a pre-architecture program at UT Austin that starts in January. It is a genuine opportunity: a full scholarship pipeline, small cohort, real mentorship. Jerome wants to go. Odette wants him to go. The problem is Jerome's grandfather \u2014 Odette's father, Hector, 74, who runs a small but still-operating cattle operation outside Marfa and who has been deteriorating physically for the past year. Jerome is the only grandchild who shows up. He fixes fences on weekends. He drives Hector to Presidio for doctor's appointments because Odette works. If Jerome leaves in January, Odette does not know who takes the grandfather calls. She cannot afford in-home help. Her brother in El Paso has made it clear he will not be coming back. She has not told Jerome that any of this is a factor \u2014 she has only told him she's proud of him \u2014 because she refuses to be the person who chains her son to this town by guilt.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Veronica"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Wendell",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Wendell is not calling about a moral dilemma. He is calling because he has become mildly obsessed with something he calls 'ghost water' \u2014 his term for the phenomenon of ancient aquifer pockets in the Chihuahuan Desert bedrock that don't connect to the regional water table and have been sealed since the Pleistocene. In his thirty-five years of drilling, he has hit three of them: water under pressure, slightly warm, with a mineral profile completely unlike the surrounding aquifer. The water comes up, depletes in hours or days, and the pocket is gone. He's had the water from his most recent find \u2014 hit last spring on a private job near the Glass Mountains \u2014 analyzed by a lab in San Angelo. The mineral signature doesn't match any catalogued aquifer in the Trans-Pecos basin. He's been emailing a hydrogeologist at UTEP about it for four months and getting increasingly interested responses. He is calling tonight because he just got an email while driving that the UTEP researcher wants to come out and look at the site.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Duncan"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Joaquin",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Joaquin has been covering weekend shifts for a coworker named Danny for three months \u2014 Danny said he was dealing with a family situation. Joaquin did it because Danny covered for him twice last year and because that's how it works. Two weeks ago Joaquin found out through a mutual friend that Danny has been spending those weekends doing paid catering gigs under the table \u2014 using a connection he made through their restaurant \u2014 and telling the restaurant owner that he has a family emergency standing arrangement. Danny is making good money. Joaquin has missed two of his band's gigs because he was covering those Saturdays. The band has a paying show booked at the Marfa Lights Festival in October \u2014 their first real booking \u2014 and it falls on a Saturday Danny has already asked Joaquin to cover again. Joaquin hasn't confronted Danny. He hasn't told the owner. He's just been doing the shifts and getting angrier.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Felix"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785806090.001651,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Vonda",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Six weeks ago Vonda noticed that one of her drivers \u2014 a young man named Cody, 24, supporting a newborn \u2014 had been falsifying his hours-of-service logs. Not dramatically, just shaving entries to avoid going over the federal limit and losing his CDL. She's been covering for him, not reporting it, because she knows what losing that job would do to his family. Last night a tanker from a different company jackknifed on I-10 near the Bakersfield cutoff \u2014 driver fell asleep, DOT is now doing a sweep of all regional carriers' logs. Her company's records will be audited within days.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Marlene"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Stetson",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Stetson has no moral crisis. He is calling because last Friday he was doing a rough-in electrical inspection at a new gallery build on Highland Avenue and found, inside a sealed wall cavity that hadn't been opened since the building's 1940s construction, a leather satchel containing 47 hand-addressed envelopes \u2014 all stamped, all sealed, all addressed to different people in Marfa and Presidio, postmarked 1943. None of them were ever sent. He has been opening them one by one and reading them, and they are almost entirely love letters \u2014 from the same handwriting, a woman named Eula, to 47 different men.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Ethan"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Lupita",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Lupita's thesis advisor \u2014 a well-regarded professor who controls her funding, her committee, and her graduation timeline \u2014 has been taking credit in conference presentations for a methodology Lupita developed herself. It's not plagiarism in any documentable way: the work is collaborative on paper, she's listed as second author, and the professor never explicitly claimed sole invention. But at a conference in San Antonio last month, Lupita watched him describe the method to a room of peers using 'I' over and over while she sat in the third row. She has one semester left. If she confronts him she risks her funding. If she says nothing she gets her degree and leaves.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Luna"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Birch",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Birch has no dilemma. He is calling because he has spent the last two years obsessively reconstructing the complete hydrological history of Comanche Springs in Fort Stockton \u2014 the largest spring system in Texas until it went dry in 1961 when irrigation pumping collapsed the aquifer. He has found survey records, eyewitness accounts, old photographs, and a 1954 Army Corps of Engineers internal memo he obtained through an archives request that suggests the spring could have been saved if one specific ranching family had agreed to reduce their draw by 30 percent. They didn't. He knows who the family is. They still ranch in Pecos County. Their grandchildren are at community events in Fort Stockton right now.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Dennis"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Paloma",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Eight months ago Paloma processed a family \u2014 a woman and two kids \u2014 who crossed legally from Ojinaga with valid documents. Routine. Two weeks later the woman came back through alone, visibly injured, and Paloma flagged her for secondary. In secondary the woman told her, quietly, that her husband \u2014 still on the Mexican side \u2014 had been threatening her and she was trying to leave. Paloma, acting on her own judgment and outside strict protocol, helped connect the woman with a Presidio legal aid contact and let her through on a humanitarian basis that was technically within her discretion but which she did not fully document as required. The woman and her kids are now safe in San Antonio. Last week Paloma's supervisor mentioned, casually, that there's a random case audit happening next quarter and her files from last fall are in the sample.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Nadia"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Rowdy",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Rowdy has no moral crisis. He is calling because three days ago he was leading a solo paddle on a remote stretch of the Rio Grande below Mariscal Canyon and found, pulled up on a gravel bar on the U.S. side, an absolutely pristine wooden rowboat \u2014 hand-built, painted sky blue, with no registration numbers, no markings, and a single red wool blanket folded on the middle thwart. No footprints around it. No tracks leading anywhere. He checked it against every known crossing point and outfitter inventory. It belongs to nobody. It's still there.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Callum"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Georgette",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Georgette's younger sister Vera \u2014 54, widowed three years ago \u2014 has been spending money at a rate that Georgette, as the person who quietly manages Vera's household accounts as a favor, cannot explain. Not gambling, not obvious shopping. In the last four months, $23,000 has moved out of Vera's savings in transfers Georgette can trace only to a payment app she doesn't recognize. Georgette confronted Vera last week and Vera said it was 'investments' and changed the subject. Georgette did not push. But she knows Vera is lonely and she is terrified it's a romance scam and she doesn't know how to say that to her sister without destroying what's left between them.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Eleanor"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Tuck",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Tuck has no moral crisis. He is calling because he has developed, over years of driving the same roads at night, an encyclopedic and genuine obsession with the specific way sound behaves in the high desert at night \u2014 what he calls 'the acoustics of nowhere.' He has documented, on a voice recorder he keeps on the dash, over 200 distinct sound events he cannot explain by conventional echo or wind: voices that seem to come from ridgelines with no one on them, music that appears and vanishes over two or three miles of road, a low mechanical hum audible only in the valley between the Davis Mountains and the Glass Mountains that he has now recorded on 14 separate nights. He is not a UFO person. He is not a ghost person. He genuinely believes this is atmospheric physics that nobody has bothered to study because not enough people drive these roads at night paying attention.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Grant"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Esperanza",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Esperanza's dilemma is this: her fifteen-year-old student \u2014 a bright, difficult boy named Marco \u2014 handed in an essay last month that was, she recognized immediately, a thinly fictionalized account of his stepfather moving drugs across the river. Not a rumor. Specific details: timing, crossing method, the make of the truck. She has been sitting on this for four weeks. She did not report it to the school director because the school director is the stepfather's cousin. She did not report it to the municipal police because she does not trust them. She has a contact at the DEA field office in Presidio \u2014 a woman she met at a community meeting years ago \u2014 but using it would expose Marco, who she believes wrote the essay because he wanted someone to know and didn't know how to say it any other way.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Jessica"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Hensley",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Hensley is calling because he is absolutely convinced, based on eleven months of personal observation, trail camera footage, and what he describes as 'track evidence that don't match anything in the field guides,' that there is a breeding population of ocelots in the limestone canyon country north of Sanderson \u2014 not in the known South Texas range, not anywhere near where ocelots are supposed to be, but in the high desert scrub of Terrell County where they have no business being. He has not contacted Texas Parks and Wildlife because the last time he reported something unusual to state wildlife authorities \u2014 a mountain lion denning close to a ranch road \u2014 the ranch owner found out and the lion was gone within a week. He doesn't trust the information chain.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Malcolm"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785806481.347754,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Silas",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "The Wellspring's first week on the Terlingua land has surfaced a crisis Silas did not anticipate: a woman named Petra, one of the community's most devoted members for six years, has announced she will not participate in any future Unbinding ceremonies \u2014 not because she objects, but because her adult daughter drove out from Odessa to see the new land and is now threatening to file a formal complaint with Brewster County about the commune's practices. Petra is caught between her daughter and her community, and Silas \u2014 still raw from the Marcus reckoning \u2014 is trying hard not to pressure her. But three other members watched him handle it and now they're asking quiet questions about whether the Unbinding will even continue on the new land. The fresh-start he envisioned is wobbling in its first week, and he's calling Luke partly for advice and partly because he genuinely doesn't know what the right thing is anymore.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Sebastian"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Devereux",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Devereux has been doing small jobs for the Gage Hotel for about four years \u2014 light fixture replacements, outlet work, the occasional plumbing assist. Three weeks ago, while doing some work in one of the historic guest rooms, he found a canvas rolled up inside the wall cavity behind a replaced baseboard \u2014 oil paint, maybe 18 inches by 24 inches, a desert landscape with a small figure in it that he can't stop looking at. He didn't tell anyone. He took it home. He's shown it to exactly one person, a friend who took an art history class at Sul Ross, who told him it could be significant or could be a tourist piece from the 1940s \u2014 she genuinely doesn't know. Devereux is not a thief by nature and the guilt is eating him, but he's also been poor his whole life and the painting is sitting on his kitchen table and he keeps thinking about what it might be worth.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Brian"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Florencia",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Florencia is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because two nights ago, while doing a nocturnal small-mammal survey on a transect line in the Paisano Pass area west of Alpine, she witnessed something she has been turning over in her head ever since: a pronghorn antelope \u2014 alone, which is already unusual at night \u2014 standing completely still in her headlamp beam for nearly four minutes without moving. Not frozen in fear the way prey animals freeze. Still in a different way. Deliberate. Then it walked directly toward her, stopped about fifteen feet away, looked at her for another long moment, and walked off into the dark at a normal pace. She's a scientist. She has an explanation for all of it. But she can't stop thinking about those four minutes and she wants to describe it to someone who will actually listen.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Bianca"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Holt",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Holt's dilemma is this: his son-in-law, Dustin, has been telling Holt's daughter Renee for two years that he's been promoted at the drilling company and making good money \u2014 Renee has quit her job at the Dollar General based on this, they bought a truck, they're talking about a house. Last month Holt ran into one of Dustin's actual coworkers at the Stripes on I-10 who let something slip: Dustin is still on the same crew he was on two years ago, same rate, no promotion. Holt has done the math and Dustin is burning through something \u2014 savings, a loan, something \u2014 to maintain the fiction. Renee is thirty-two, they have a four-year-old, and Holt loves Dustin, genuinely likes the man, which makes this worse. He hasn't said anything to Renee. He confronted Dustin two weeks ago in a parking lot and Dustin broke down crying and begged him for sixty days to fix it.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "James"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Celestine",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Celestine is calling because she has a theory about the Marfa Lights and it is not a theory she has seen anywhere else, and she has looked. She is not a mystic and she is not credulous \u2014 she has lived in Marfa her whole life and she has watched the Lights since she was a child from the viewing platform on Highway 90. Her theory, developed over years of watching and cross-referencing with her work schedule and property logs, is this: the Lights appear more frequently and more vividly in the weeks after a large influx of visitors to Marfa \u2014 specifically after the busiest tourist weekends. She has kept a handwritten log for eleven years. She has also noted that they are rarest in January and February, when Marfa is quietest. She is not saying the tourists cause the Lights. She is saying the correlation is there and nobody is studying it and it bothers her that the people who should care \u2014 the researchers, the university types \u2014 won't take a local woman with a notebook seriously.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Tessa"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Beau",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Beau is not calling about a crisis. He is calling because six weeks ago he became genuinely, almost academically obsessed with the question of why horned lizards \u2014 horny toads \u2014 have almost completely disappeared from the areas around Alpine where they were common when his grandfather was young, and then three days ago, while clearing some old brush along a caliche road on his uncle's ranch property east of Alpine near the Leoncita area, he found a small population \u2014 maybe a dozen animals \u2014 in a rocky patch of ground that hadn't been disturbed in decades. He caught one, held it for about thirty seconds the way his grandfather taught him, and it squirted blood from its eyes at him, which he knew was a defense mechanism but had never personally experienced. He is calling because he found the lizards and because the blood-squirting experience at close range was something he needs to tell someone about.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Liam"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Vashti",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Vashti's dilemma is slow and has been building for months and came to a head this weekend. She has a colleague \u2014 a woman she has worked alongside for nine years, someone she considers a close friend \u2014 who has been systematically taking sole credit for a grant-funded family reunification program that Vashti built from the ground up. The colleague, Marisol, writes the reports, attends the funder meetings, and has begun to refer to the program as her own initiative in ways that are small enough to seem like accidents. Vashti brought it up once, gently, and Marisol apologized and then did it again the next month. This weekend Vashti found out that Marisol has been invited to present the program at a conference in El Paso in October \u2014 without mentioning Vashti's name to the organizers. The program serves families Vashti has known for years. The work is what she cares about. But she is also tired of being erased.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Julia"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Rayford",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Rayford is calling because his neighbor \u2014 a man named Clete whose family has run the adjacent property for just as long \u2014 offered to buy Rayford's 4,200 acres two months ago at a number that is, by any honest measure, a good price. Rayford said no. Clete came back last week with a higher number. Rayford said no again. What Rayford has not told anyone, including his two adult children who would inherit the land, is that he has been losing money on the cattle operation for four years running, that the well situation on the south pasture has gotten worse, and that he is seventy-one days behind on a note at the bank. His children believe the ranch is solid. One of them \u2014 his daughter Nicki \u2014 has been planning her life around eventually coming back to run it. Rayford said no to Clete both times partly out of pride and partly because of Nicki. But the bank doesn't care about Nicki.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Edward"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Thomasine",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Thomasine is not calling about a moral crisis. She is calling because she has become, over the past year, a deeply serious and self-taught expert on the history of the Chinati Hot Springs \u2014 the remote thermal springs down near Ruidosa, south of Marfa, on the Rio Grande \u2014 and specifically on the decades when the property operated as a resort and health retreat in the early and mid twentieth century. She found a box of old photographs and a handwritten guest register from the 1930s at an estate sale in Alpine a year ago and has been trying to piece together who these people were and why they came to a hot spring in the middle of the Chihuahuan desert in the Depression era. She has driven down there four times this year. She has contacted the Presidio County Historical Commission. She has found three people whose grandparents signed the register. She is calling tonight because this week she found a photograph in the box she'd somehow missed \u2014 a group of about twenty people standing in front of the main building, undated, and in the back row she is nearly certain she has identified a figure who, based on everything she knows, should not have been there.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Sarah"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Merritt",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Merritt is calling because he did something at work six weeks ago that he has been unable to resolve in his own head. A colleague of his \u2014 a senior staff astronomer named Dr. Pryce \u2014 submitted an observation request that Merritt, as the person responsible for scheduling mirror maintenance and telescope availability, knew would conflict with a pre-approved community dark-sky viewing event: one of McDonald's public Star Party nights, attended by families and school groups from all over the region. Dr. Pryce's request was legitimate and scientifically significant \u2014 a narrow window to observe a specific target. Merritt approved Dr. Pryce's request and bumped the Star Party. He did it because Dr. Pryce is his direct supervisor and the science was real. The Star Party was rescheduled with one week's notice. A group of special-needs students from a school in Odessa had planned the trip for months, had already driven four hours, and arrived to find the public program cancelled. Merritt was in the building when they arrived. He watched the teacher manage the disappointment. He did not say anything. He has not said anything since.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Mark"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785806876.617506,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Silas",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "The Wellspring's artisanal soap operation \u2014 the financial backbone of the whole community \u2014 just lost its primary fulfillment contract. The small regional co-op that was warehousing and shipping their product out of Las Cruces dropped them because the new Terlingua address triggered a contract clause about operational continuity. Silas has thirty-one people on raw desert land, a partially built structure, no reliable shipping infrastructure, and maybe six weeks of operating cash. He is calling ostensibly to ask Luke whether he knows anyone in the region who does small-batch fulfillment, but the real thing underneath is that he is beginning to wonder if the move was a catastrophic mistake he dressed up as spiritual vision.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Sebastian"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Darnell",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Three weeks ago Darnell's seventeen-year-old son Keondre showed him a video on his phone \u2014 footage of Darnell's own foreman, a man named Pruitt, taking cash from a county contractor in the parking lot of the Comanche Springs Park. Darnell recognized the contractor: it's the same outfit that keeps winning the chip-seal bids even when their price comes in higher than competitors. Darnell has worked for Pruitt for six years. Pruitt wrote the letter that got Darnell the supervisor job. He also knows that if he reports it, the investigation will likely sweep up the whole department, and two of his crew members are men he genuinely respects who have nothing to do with the kickback. He hasn't told his wife yet. He hasn't done anything with the video. Keondre keeps asking what he's going to do.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Marcus"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Wrenley",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Wrenley has no moral crisis. She is calling because two nights ago, Saturday, she witnessed something at the Marfa Lights viewing platform on Highway 90 that she has been turning over in her head ever since and needs to say out loud to somebody. She was out there alone around 1 a.m. after her shift \u2014 she goes sometimes just to decompress \u2014 and she watched what she is certain was not headlights, not aircraft, not the Chinati Foundation doing anything: a single white light that hovered completely stationary for about four minutes, then split cleanly into three lights that moved in a slow equilateral triangle formation before dimming out one by one over maybe ninety seconds. She has seen the lights before. This was different. She is not a believer in anything particular. She is a woman who watched something she cannot explain and it has been living in her chest since Saturday.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Chloe"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Augusto",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Augusto's dilemma has been building for eighteen months and cracked open this past week. His only daughter, Renata, 34, has been living in San Antonio and has made it clear she has no interest in the ranch \u2014 she's a civil engineer, happy, married, not coming back. His only son, Felix, 39, wants the land badly, has been working alongside Augusto for twelve years, and would be the obvious heir. But Augusto has discovered \u2014 through a conversation he wasn't supposed to hear \u2014 that Felix has been quietly negotiating with a private equity land aggregator out of Houston that has been buying up ranch parcels across Brewster County. Felix hasn't said a word to Augusto. The aggregator has been buying land and leasing it back as a carbon credit operation. Augusto does not believe Felix would sell immediately, but he now believes Felix would sell within five years of inheriting. He doesn't know whether to confront Felix, change the will, or say nothing and let the land go when he's gone.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Victor"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Tippi",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Tippi is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because she has spent the last eight months going down a rabbit hole she cannot fully explain to anyone in her regular life: she has become obsessed with the 1883 survey records of the Southern Pacific Railroad right-of-way through Brewster County \u2014 specifically a three-mile discrepancy between the original survey plat and where the tracks were actually laid through what is now the west end of Alpine. She found the original survey documents in the Sul Ross archives while helping a student with unrelated research. The discrepancy means that according to the 1883 plat, the tracks should run through property that is currently occupied by a neighborhood of about fourteen homes. She has cross-referenced this with the original land grant records, the 1901 county tax rolls, and two sets of USGS topographic maps. She is not a lawyer and doesn't know what it means legally, but the geometric fact of it keeps her up at night.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Loretta"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Hector",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Six months ago Hector's twenty-six-year-old nephew, Ismael, came to work for him driving a route between Marfa and Presidio. Ismael is the son of Hector's younger brother \u2014 the brother who died of a heart attack at 49 \u2014 and Hector took him on as an act of family loyalty. Last week Hector found out from a driver at another outfit that Ismael has been doing a side job on his Marfa-to-Presidio run: picking up cash from a man in Presidio and delivering envelopes to an address in Marfa. Nobody has told Hector what's in the envelopes. The driver who told him didn't know either. But Hector knows the man in Presidio by reputation, and the reputation is not clean. Ismael has a daughter who just turned one year old. Hector hasn't confronted Ismael yet. He is a deacon. His brother is dead. He doesn't know whether to call his brother's name down on this or let the boy hang himself.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Jason"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Odalys",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Odalys is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because she has developed, over four seasons on the Rio Grande in the Big Bend, an obsessive working knowledge of the canyon acoustics \u2014 specifically, the way sound behaves inside Santa Elena Canyon, Mariscal Canyon, and Boquillas Canyon differently from each other, and what it means for guiding. She has been cataloguing this informally for two years: which canyons amplify a whistle, which ones swallow a shout, how the river noise changes pitch as water levels drop in August, the specific echo delay inside the upper Santa Elena narrows at the point where the walls close to about thirty feet. She started doing it for safety \u2014 knowing how far sound carries tells you how to communicate with a group \u2014 and then it became something else entirely. She brought a small recorder this season. Tonight she heard Luke play a piece of recorded ambient sound on air and something about the reverb made her need to call.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Amina"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Brecken",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Brecken's dilemma is recent and specific and he can't talk to anyone on campus about it. Four days ago he was doing routine irrigation maintenance near the Sul Ross athletic fields and he found a folder of printed documents left in the equipment shed \u2014 personnel records, email printouts, what appear to be drafts of a Title IX complaint \u2014 with a name on the cover sheet he recognizes: a professor he has had, a man he genuinely likes, who helped him get a summer internship with Texas Parks and Wildlife that he is supposed to start in September. The folder was just sitting there. He doesn't know if it was left accidentally or if someone put it there deliberately for someone else to find. He took a photo of the cover sheet before he put it back. He hasn't told anyone. He doesn't know who left it or who it belongs to. But he knows what he saw, and he knows the internship letter is sitting on his desk, and he knows those two facts are now entangled in his head even though they may have nothing to do with each other.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Elliot"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Neva",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Neva has no moral crisis. She is calling because three weeks ago she was harvesting honey from her hives and noticed that her bees \u2014 a colony she has kept for eleven years \u2014 had begun constructing comb in a geometry she had never seen and cannot find documented anywhere she has looked. Instead of the standard hexagonal sheet construction, a section of one frame had comb cells arranged in a spiral pattern radiating outward from a central point, like a nautilus cross-section, with cell size decreasing toward the center. She is a careful, empirical woman who has kept bees for thirty years. She has contacted two extension agents and a professor in the entomology department at Texas A&M. The extension agents told her it was probably a wax moth disruption. The A&M professor said it was likely stress-related irregular comb and sent her a paper. She has read the paper. The paper does not describe this. She has photographs. She has been keeping bees long enough to know what stress comb looks like, and this is not that.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Elizabeth"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Cord",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Cord's situation came to a head this afternoon and he pulled over on Highway 90 to think and ended up calling the show. His business partner of nine years \u2014 a man named Garrett, who owns 40 percent of the company \u2014 told Cord two weeks ago that he wanted to buy out his share and exit the business. Cord agreed, they shook on a number, Cord started putting together the financing. Today Cord found out from a drilling company dispatcher he's friendly with that Garrett has already been talking to a competitor \u2014 a larger well-service outfit out of Midland \u2014 about taking a salaried VP position and bringing the company's client list with him. The client list is not formally protected by anything because when they started the company nine years ago two guys shaking hands in a parking lot in Fort Stockton didn't think about non-competes. If Garrett walks with the client relationships, Cord loses maybe 60 percent of his revenue in the first year.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Hank"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785807224.910801,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Sondra",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Sondra has been doing the books for a Marathon feed-and-supply operation for eleven years. Last Thursday she found a pattern she cannot explain away: the owner has been quietly underreporting payroll for at least four years, which means his two full-time Mexican-American employees \u2014 men she knows personally, men who have worked there since before she did \u2014 have been paying into Social Security on falsified wages. The men don't know. The owner is sixty-eight, has a bad heart, and his wife just started chemo. Sondra has not said a word to anyone.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Marlene"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Pax",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Pax is not calling about a crisis. He is calling because last spring, while doing vegetation transects out in the Glass Mountains northeast of Alpine, he stumbled into what he is now convinced is one of the last undocumented nesting sites in Texas for the Aplomado falcon \u2014 a bird that was functionally extirpated from the state for decades before reintroduction programs began. He has GPS coordinates, photographs, and two confirmed adults on nest. He has told his thesis advisor. His advisor told him to sit on the data until they can publish. That was four months ago. The paper is nowhere near done. Pax is twenty-nine years old and bursting.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Jonah"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Truett",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Truett's dilemma is about his brother. His younger brother Waylon, fifty-four, has been sober for nine years \u2014 AA, sponsor, the whole architecture. Last month Waylon started dating a woman Truett likes genuinely, a widow named Carol who works dispatch at the sheriff's office. Two weeks ago Truett ran a routine background check on Carol as part of a process-serving job \u2014 totally unrelated \u2014 and found something: Carol has a civil judgment against her from 2019 in Midland County related to a bar fight that turned into a lawsuit, and more troublingly, a dismissed DWI from 2021 that was pleaded down. Truett doesn't know if Waylon knows. Carol has given no indication she drinks now. Truett ran the check legally. He wishes he hadn't.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Grant"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Lupe",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Lupe is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because she has spent the last year developing what has become a serious, documented obsession with the architectural and commercial history of the Presidio-Ojinaga crossing \u2014 specifically the way the same families have run trade and transport on both sides of the river for over a hundred and twenty years, surviving revolution, Prohibition, NAFTA, and every border policy since. She has found letters, photographs, ledgers. She found a 1923 manifest in a box at her grandmother's house in Ojinaga that lists goods she can trace to a great-great-uncle's store that still has a building standing in Presidio. She has started giving informal talks at the Presidio library.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Selene"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Garrison",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Garrison's situation cracked open this past weekend. His nineteen-year-old daughter Lily drove home from her first year at Texas Tech and told him and his wife that she has decided not to come back \u2014 not to the ranch, not to Marfa, not to any of it. She wants to stay in Lubbock, get an apartment with friends, and study something called sustainable food systems. Garrison is not angry about the degree. He is gutted because last fall, before she left, he deeded her forty acres of the ranch \u2014 the section his own grandfather deeded to his father \u2014 in a formal transfer, with a lawyer, as a statement of faith that she was coming back. She didn't ask him to do it. He did it because he was certain.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Cedric"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Effie",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Effie is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because she has spent the last three months quietly and methodically documenting what she believes is a lost oral tradition of weather prediction specific to the Davis Mountains and the surrounding basin \u2014 a set of observational rules passed down by ranching families and old-timers that predate the National Weather Service station in the region and have, in her testing, a remarkable accuracy rate for afternoon monsoon prediction in July and August. She has interviewed eleven people, the oldest of whom is ninety-three. She is cross-referencing their observations against sixty years of NWS records she pulled from Alpine and Marfa.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Victoria"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Rook",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Rook's dilemma is recent and specific. Three days ago he guided a private trip \u2014 four people, a five-day float through the Lower Canyons. On the second day, one of the clients, a man named Dennis from Houston, pulled Rook aside at camp and offered him three hundred dollars cash to tell the rest of the group that a particular side canyon was too dangerous to enter. It wasn't. Rook knew it wasn't. Dennis wanted to prevent his teenage stepson \u2014 who was on the trip \u2014 from making the hike because the stepson had been talking the whole first day about how he wanted to do it and Dennis wanted to deny him the experience without being the one to say no. Rook took the money. He told the group the canyon was closed for resource protection. The stepson, a kid named Marcus, sat at the river's edge for two hours that afternoon without speaking.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Hamish"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Inez",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Inez is calling because she has a theory \u2014 a real, worked-out, documented theory \u2014 that the water table beneath a significant stretch of Pecos County has been contaminated by injection well activity associated with Permian Basin disposal operations, and that this contamination is the explanation for a cluster of specific gastrointestinal and neurological presentations she has been seeing in patients from two particular zip codes over the past three years. She is not a scientist. She is an LVN with thirty years of bedside experience and a very good memory for patterns. She has kept a personal log. She has cross-referenced her log against public Railroad Commission injection well permits using the RRC's online database. She has shown her log to one physician, who told her correlation isn't causation and moved on.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Darlene"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Dovie",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Dovie's situation is this: she was hired eight months ago to help a visiting artist \u2014 a moderately well-known sculptor from New York named Callista \u2014 install a temporary public piece on a private property outside Marfa. During the installation, Dovie did most of the actual physical labor. The piece was documented, reviewed in two online art publications, and Callista was credited as sole creator. Dovie is fine with that \u2014 she was paid and she knew the deal. What Dovie is not fine with is that last week she found out Callista has sold the piece \u2014 supposedly temporary, supposedly site-specific \u2014 to a collector in Zurich for an amount Dovie accidentally overheard her talking about on the phone: four hundred and twenty thousand dollars. Dovie made eleven dollars an hour.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Sophie"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Wendell",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Wendell is a true believer and he is dead serious. He has spent the last nine months compiling evidence for what he is convinced is a coordinated and deliberate suppression of a specific type of highway infrastructure \u2014 the concrete box culvert designs used on state highways in Brewster, Terrell, and Val Verde counties in the 1940s and 1950s. He believes these culverts were built according to a non-standard specification that appears in no TxDOT archive he has been able to access, that several of them are still load-bearing on active roads, and that someone \u2014 he is not sure who, but possibly a contractor family with long ties to Austin \u2014 has been systematically ensuring these structures are replaced rather than documented, destroying evidence of what he believes was a large-scale materials fraud that stretched from roughly 1941 to 1959. He has photographs of seventeen culverts. He has a spreadsheet.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Arthur"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785807641.615133,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Silas",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "The Wellspring's artisanal soap operation \u2014 the financial backbone of the whole community \u2014 just lost its primary fulfillment contract with the small regional co-op that had been handling shipping out of Las Cruces. Now, stranded on remote land outside Terlingua with no reliable shipping infrastructure, Silas is watching the commune's income evaporate in real time. He's called nominally to ask Luke's audience if anyone knows a freight or fulfillment solution out of the Big Bend, but underneath that he's grappling with whether the move was a catastrophic mistake driven more by his own need to escape the shame of the coercion reckoning than by genuine vision. Tonight a twenty-three-year-old member named Petra \u2014 one of the true believers who drove the U-Haul all the way from Deming \u2014 told him she was leaving because she 'didn't sign up to be poor in the desert.' That one landed.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Sebastian"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Darlene",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Darlene has been renting a room to Cody, twenty-four, for eight months \u2014 a Permian Basin roughneck who works two-weeks-on, two-weeks-off rotations and is otherwise quiet, pays on time, and keeps to himself. Last Friday Darlene was pulling weeds along the side of the house and found, wedged between the foundation and the AC unit, a ziploc bag containing forty-three hundred dollars in cash and a handwritten list of first names with dollar amounts next to them. She put it back exactly where she found it. Cody came home Saturday and she acted normal. She does not believe Cody is dangerous \u2014 nothing about him feels dangerous \u2014 but the list has seven names on it and she doesn't know if she's looking at a drug debt ledger, someone paying people back, a loan operation, or something else entirely. She's not going to call the police. She wants to know whether to ask him directly or let it go.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Tessa"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Fletcher",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Fletcher is calling because of something that happened to him last Thursday night and he has told exactly one person \u2014 his dog. He was running new conduit in a crawlspace under one of the Gage Hotel's outbuildings around ten-thirty at night, a job that ran long, and he heard what he can only describe as a sustained, low, resonant tone coming from below him \u2014 not mechanical, not HVAC, not anything in the building. He's been in that crawlspace a dozen times. He lay still for about four minutes and the tone shifted in pitch, slowly, and then stopped. He is not a paranormal person. He does not watch ghost shows. He has a completely mundane theory \u2014 some kind of acoustic phenomenon, maybe the aquifer, maybe wind \u2014 and he called to see if anyone else has ever heard anything like it, because he can't stop thinking about it and he's going back to finish the job Wednesday night and he's nervous in a way he doesn't know what to do with.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Carter"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Rosalinda",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Rosalinda's dilemma is eighteen months old and came back to the surface last week. Eighteen months ago she let someone through \u2014 a woman, fifties, claiming to be visiting family in Presidio, documentation in order \u2014 and something was wrong. Not wrong enough to hold her, not wrong enough to flag under any protocol. Just wrong in the way Rosalinda's body knew things before her brain did. She let her through. Two weeks later that woman was arrested in Odessa connected to a trafficking operation. Rosalinda was never implicated, was never questioned \u2014 her documentation check was clean and correct. Nobody knows she had the feeling. Last week she processed a crossing and had the exact same feeling about a young man, and this time she found a reason to hold him for secondary inspection. Nothing turned up. He was clean. She let him go. But the eighteen-month-old decision has been sitting in her chest since last week like a stone, and she is calling because she needs to know: do you act on a feeling you can't justify or do you do the job by the book and live with what the book misses?",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Veronica"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Burl",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Burl is calling because he has a story and it is a good one and he has been trying to tell it to people all week and nobody will sit still for the whole thing. In 1987 \u2014 Burl was twenty-eight \u2014 a stranger appeared on his family's ranch during a drought and asked permission to water his horse at their tank. His father let him. The man stayed three days, helped with fence work, spoke almost no Spanish and almost no English, and left without ceremony. He had, according to Burl's father, the single most useful pair of hands either of them had ever seen \u2014 not strong, just precisely, eerily efficient with every task. Before he left he told Burl's father, in a mix of hand gestures and broken words, that the drought would break in eleven days. It broke in nine. Burl has been thinking about this man his entire life. Two weeks ago, cleaning out his father's old desk, he found a photograph he had never seen \u2014 his father standing next to a stranger, labeled on the back in his father's handwriting with a date and one word: 'Jacobo.' The photo is from 1971. Burl was not born yet. The man in the photo and the man from 1987 look identical. Same age.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Ronald"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Marisol",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Marisol's dilemma happened five days ago and she has been in a low-grade panic since. She is teaching a freshman comp section this summer \u2014 eight students, a small class \u2014 and one of her students, a nineteen-year-old named Derek, turned in a personal essay that was, by any measure, extraordinary: raw, structurally sophisticated, genuinely moving. She gave it an A and wrote extensive comments. Two days later Derek came to office hours and, after some awkward circling, told her he'd had help \u2014 not from a tutor, not from AI, but from his older brother, who is apparently a writer. The essay is Derek's story, Derek's experience, Derek's voice as he described it to his brother, but the sentences are not Derek's sentences. Marisol does not know whether this is plagiarism, collaboration, ghostwriting, or just a kid from a family where help looks different than the academic integrity policy imagined. Derek is a first-generation college student. He was terrified to tell her. She has not yet reported it or changed the grade and the window for academic integrity referrals is closing.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Naomi"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Cletis",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Cletis is not calling about a crisis. He is calling because he has spent the last two years developing what he believes is a comprehensive and airtight theory about the acoustics of desert canyon systems in the Big Bend \u2014 specifically, that the rock formations along certain stretches of the Rio Grande canyon walls act as natural parabolic reflectors that can focus and amplify ambient sound over distances of up to three miles. He has been testing this with a calibrated decibel meter he built himself from salvaged parts and a microphone array he designed. His theory, if correct, would explain several reported phenomena in the area including certain Marfa Lights witness accounts involving sound (which are rarely discussed) and some of the stranger Rio Grande canyon echo reports going back to the Spanish colonial period. He is not saying it's supernatural. He is saying the physics is genuinely interesting and nobody has studied it properly because it requires being in very remote places at three in the morning for extended periods, which most acoustical researchers are apparently not willing to do.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Derek"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Genevieve",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Genevieve's situation cracked open yesterday and she is still shaking from it. She manages rental properties for several absentee owners, including a New York couple who own a Marfa house they rent on a short-term basis. Yesterday she went to do a turnover inspection between guests and found, in the house, a sixty-three-year-old Marfa ranching family patriarch named Harlan Briggs \u2014 a man she has known her entire sixteen years here \u2014 asleep on the couch. Harlan is not the renter. Harlan has no connection to the property that Genevieve knows of. He was not breaking in \u2014 the door was unlocked from the previous guests. He woke up, looked at her without embarrassment, said 'I just needed somewhere cool and quiet,' and left. Genevieve knows Harlan's family. She knows his wife. She knows the family has been on that land for four generations. She also knows that Harlan's ranch has been in serious financial trouble and that last year a portion of the family land was sold to a Dallas investment group. She has to decide whether to report the incident to the property owners \u2014 which would likely result in a trespassing complaint against a man whose family has been in this county longer than the property owner has been alive \u2014 or say nothing.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Olivia"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Ptolemy",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Ptolemy is not calling about a crisis. He is calling because he spent the afternoon at the McDonald Observatory near Fort Davis and came away with a fact he cannot stop turning over in his mind and has been trying to explain to every person he's encountered since, with limited success. The fact is this: the observatory's Hobby-Eberly Telescope, one of the largest in the world, was specifically designed with a fixed altitude \u2014 it doesn't tilt up and down, only rotates \u2014 meaning there is a band of the sky it simply cannot observe. The designers accepted this constraint because the telescope's primary purpose, studying the spectra of faint objects, doesn't require full-sky coverage. Ptolemy finds this philosophically staggering: the most powerful eye in the Western Hemisphere was deliberately built with a blind spot, by choice, because the blind spot was worth it. He has been applying this idea to everything since three o'clock this afternoon and he needs to talk it through with someone before he drives back to Austin.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Felix"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Yolanda",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Yolanda's dilemma is about her younger sister Gloria, sixty-six, who lives in the same town. Their mother died fourteen months ago and left the family home \u2014 a house in Sanderson that has been in the family since 1961 \u2014 to both of them equally. Yolanda wants to sell. The house needs $40,000 in repairs she cannot afford, the Sanderson real estate market is essentially nonexistent, and she is seventy-one and tired of maintaining a property she doesn't live in. Gloria refuses to sell under any circumstances and refuses to buy Yolanda out and refuses to contribute to repairs, on the grounds that selling the house would be a betrayal of their mother. Last week a buyer appeared \u2014 a young couple from San Antonio who want to move to Sanderson and fix it up themselves, and they've offered fair market value. Gloria has already told the buyer the house is not for sale. Yolanda is calling because she is considering forcing a partition sale through a lawyer \u2014 a legal mechanism that would compel the sale over Gloria's objection \u2014 and she knows it will end her relationship with her sister permanently.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Zadie"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785824765.051897,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Tess",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Tess's grandmother left her a 1940s adobe on the edge of Marfa \u2014 the house where Tess learned to ride, where her grandfather died, where every room has a story. Six months ago, broke and desperate after a bad cattle year, Tess listed it on Airbnb. It now pays better than the ranch. Last Friday she arrived to clean between guests and found the visitors had staged the entire interior for a fashion shoot \u2014 moved her grandmother's furniture, hung white fabric over the family photos, and left a printed note thanking her for the 'blank canvas aesthetic.' She stood in the middle of her grandmother's bedroom for forty minutes before she could move.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Nadia"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Coop",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Coop is not calling about a crisis. He is calling because he is obsessed with something nobody out here wants to talk about: open-water swimming in the Permian Basin's produced-water containment ponds, which he has never done and never would, but has been researching obsessively for a year after reading about extreme swimmers seeking out forbidden or impossible venues. What started as morbid curiosity became a genuine deep-dive into the chemistry, the geography, and the sheer scale of West Texas water infrastructure most people don't know exists. He drove out last weekend and stood at the fence line of a containment facility outside Fort Stockton and just looked at it \u2014 thousands of acres of flat, still, toxic water in the middle of the desert \u2014 and something about the scale and the wrongness of it will not leave him alone.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Hank"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Brecken",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Brecken's dilemma is four days old and involves his thesis advisor, Dr. Harmon, a man he has admired for three years. Brecken discovered, while running data cross-checks for his own thesis chapter, that a key table in Harmon's 2019 published paper \u2014 the paper that forms the methodological backbone of Brecken's entire research program \u2014 contains what appear to be fabricated data points. Not misremembered. Not rounding errors. The same decimal pattern repeating across supposedly independent sample sites in a way that doesn't happen in nature. Brecken has shown it to no one. He has a meeting with Harmon on Thursday to review his own thesis draft.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Liam"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Odessa",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Odessa is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because this evening, around dusk, she had the best moment she has had in five years and she needs to tell somebody. She has been keeping Chihuahuan Desert honeybee colonies in Terlingua for six years, adapting northern European beekeeping methods to extreme heat and drought with no manual, no mentor, and mostly failure. Tonight she pulled her first successful mead \u2014 a small batch from her own honey, fermented through the brutal summer \u2014 and it tasted exactly right. She drank a glass sitting outside watching the last light go off the Chisos and she cried, and she is not embarrassed about that.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Loretta"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Harlow",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Harlow's dilemma is about her oldest friend, Petra Canales, who she has known since first grade. Petra's husband Danny is running for Brewster County Commissioner in November. Last month Harlow processed a filing \u2014 routine public record \u2014 that shows a mechanics lien against Danny's construction business totaling $87,000 from a subcontractor in Presidio. It is a matter of public record. It is also something that, if it became widely known before the election, would probably end Danny's campaign and likely his marriage, because Petra does not know the debt exists. Harlow has done nothing. She has told no one. But a reporter from the Alpine Avalanche called her office today asking for any recent lien filings in Brewster County.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Julia"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Wick",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Wick is a true believer and he is dead serious. He has spent the last four months documenting what he is convinced is a pattern of deliberate, coordinated cattle mutilations along a sixty-mile corridor between Marfa and Presidio \u2014 not random predator kills, not decomposition, not the usual explanations. He has photographs. He has GPS coordinates. He has a notebook with dates, wind directions, lunar phases, and the specific nature of the excisions, which follow a consistency he spent thirty years in law enforcement learning to recognize as intentional. He has taken his findings to the Presidio County Sheriff's office twice. He was not taken seriously either time. He believes the pattern is escalating.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Victor"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Paloma",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Paloma's dilemma happened three weeks ago and she has been carrying it alone since. She was named to the Sul Ross cross-country travel roster for a meet in Odessa. The night before the bus left, her teammate and close friend Dani told her, in confidence, that she had been taking a prescription stimulant that wasn't hers to manage her training volume \u2014 not a tested substance at the NAIA level, technically, but a violation of Sul Ross's athletic code. Paloma said nothing. They went to the meet. Dani ran the best race of her life. Yesterday the athletic department announced a random conduct review of the roster for next semester, and Dani came to Paloma's dorm room crying, asking if Paloma had reported her.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Chloe"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Gideon",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Gideon is not calling about a crisis. He is calling because he has been building a sixteen-inch Dobsonian reflector telescope from scratch for three years \u2014 grinding his own mirror, constructing the tube and rocker box from salvaged materials \u2014 and last Saturday night he used it for the first time under the dark skies outside Fort Davis and saw the Veil Nebula, a supernova remnant, in more detail than he has ever seen it outside of photographs. He is not a romantic about it. He is a physics teacher. But he sat at the eyepiece for two hours because he could not make himself stop, and what struck him was not beauty but scale \u2014 he was looking at the debris field of a star that exploded ten thousand years ago, and the light reaching his homemade mirror had been traveling since before Stonehenge.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Conrad"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Trace",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Trace's dilemma is about a decision he made nine months ago that he has decided, tonight, was wrong. He bid on and won a contract to buy clip from a small Angora goat operation outside Dryden \u2014 an elderly couple, the Seavers, who have run the place for forty years. He knew when he bid that the price he offered was below fair market. He bid low because he could, because the Seavers don't have other buyers willing to drive out there, and because that is how the business works. Last week he went out to the Seavers' place for the spring clip and found out that Roy Seaver had a stroke in May and that his wife Norma has been running the whole operation alone since then. She had the clip ready and she had the paperwork ready and she thanked him for coming out.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Blake"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Birdie",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Birdie is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because she is furious about a specific, recent injustice and she has opinions and she has waited two days to call because she wanted to get her facts straight first. The Brewster County Historical Commission has declined \u2014 for the third time \u2014 to designate the old Southern Pacific railroad depot on the east side of Alpine as a historic landmark, despite Birdie having submitted documentation going back to 1882. The building is currently being eyed by a developer from Austin who wants to convert it into a boutique hotel. Birdie has a personal connection to the depot: her father worked as a freight agent there from 1962 to 1981, and she spent her childhood in and around that building. She also has a historical argument and she is prepared to make it.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Sarah"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785825116.9801579,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Rayfield",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Rayfield's dilemma is eight days old and he cannot stop thinking about it. He caught his nephew, Denny \u2014 twenty-two, just got hired on at the Gage Hotel as a groundskeeper \u2014 stealing a catalytic converter off the truck belonging to an elderly Tejano rancher named Aurelio Serna, whose family has run cattle east of Marathon for four generations. Rayfield saw it happen from his porch at 2 a.m. He didn't call the police. He confronted Denny himself, made him put the part back before Serna noticed it was gone, and kept it quiet. But then he found out that Denny has been doing this for months \u2014 this was not a first time \u2014 and that old Serna has been paying out of pocket to replace converters he thought were just failing on their own. Rayfield knows Serna. He knows the man cannot easily afford this. He kept his nephew out of jail and now he is not sure he had the right to do that with someone else's losses.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Craig"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Suki",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Suki is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because two nights ago she witnessed the Marfa Lights \u2014 actually witnessed them, a full display, not a smear of headlights \u2014 and what she saw does not match any of the standard explanations she has since read, and she is genuinely, delightedly unnerved. She pulled off at the official Marfa Lights Viewing Area on Highway 90 on her way back from a supply run to Alpine, and the lights performed for nearly forty minutes: splitting, rejoining, hovering, one of them dropping straight down behind the Chinati Mountains and then reappearing on the other side. She has seen the lights three times before and dismissed them. This time she took video on her phone. The video, she says, is terrible \u2014 it looks like nothing \u2014 but she knows what she saw.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Priya"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Gus",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Gus's dilemma is about his partner on patrol, Deputy Terri Lujan, whom he has worked alongside for six years and considers a close friend. Three weeks ago Gus discovered, while reviewing dashcam footage for an unrelated incident report, that Terri had a thirty-minute personal stop \u2014 unlogged \u2014 at a house on the north edge of Fort Stockton that Gus recognizes. The house belongs to a man named Cecil Pryor, who Gus knows informally as someone connected to a methamphetamine distribution pipeline that runs up through Pecos County from the border. Terri is not under investigation. The stop may have been entirely innocent \u2014 she has family on that street, she could have had any reason. But Gus has watched that footage eleven times and the thirty minutes bothers him. He has not reported it. He has not asked her about it. He is sitting on it.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Damon"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Anzelika",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Anzelika is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because this morning she guided a solo float through the lower canyons of Santa Elena Canyon and encountered something she has never seen in three seasons on the river: the Rio Grande at that section ran completely still \u2014 no current, mirror-flat \u2014 for approximately a quarter mile, which she knows is hydrologically bizarre given the canyon's normal gradient and the current water levels. The water was clear to the bottom, which she has also never seen there. She photographed it. The stillness lasted about fifteen minutes before the current resumed as if nothing had happened. She asked the two geologists who were her clients \u2014 a couple from Socorro, New Mexico, on a research float \u2014 and they had no explanation either and were visibly agitated in a way she found exciting.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Bianca"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Merritt",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Merritt's dilemma involves his oldest son, Caleb, thirty, who came back to Alpine two years ago after a decade in Midland working oilfield logistics. Caleb came back broke and Merritt brought him into the store. Six months ago Merritt let Caleb take over the books. Last week Merritt's accountant called for a routine question and let slip a number that didn't match what Caleb had been reporting. Merritt has now gone through four months of receipts himself. Caleb has been skimming \u2014 not dramatically, not recklessly, but steadily. About $14,000 over the six months. Merritt has not confronted Caleb. He has not told his wife. He has not told his accountant. He is calling tonight because Caleb is coming to Sunday dinner in five days and Merritt does not know how to sit across a table from him.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Marcus"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Fern",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Fern is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because she spent this afternoon doing something she has never done in seventy-one years: she attended a Donald Judd art installation at the Chinati Foundation in Marfa, dragged there by her granddaughter who is visiting from Austin. Fern went in skeptical and came out genuinely, almost angrily moved by the aluminum boxes in the artillery sheds \u2014 not because she understood them intellectually but because standing in that specific light with those specific objects did something to her body that she could not predict and cannot explain. She is furious at herself for being affected and also cannot stop thinking about it.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Marlene"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Desmond",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Desmond's dilemma happened three months ago and he has been carrying it under a professional smile since. He was on a search committee that hired a new colleague \u2014 Dr. Renata Voss, a wildlife ecologist who joined the department in May. Desmond was enthusiastic about her hire. Two weeks after she arrived, he realized, going through old conference proceedings for an unrelated paper, that a dataset in her job application research summary contained figures he recognized from a 2019 study by a team he worked with as a postdoc \u2014 figures that were not cited. The overlap is specific enough that it cannot be coincidence. He has not told the department chair. He has not told Voss. He has been watching her teach her first summer course and finding her genuinely excellent in the classroom, which is making it worse.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "James"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Loretta",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Loretta is calling because she is on a genuine, specific, long-running obsession and tonight something happened that cracked it back open. She has spent the last three years documenting every roadrunner she encounters on her delivery routes \u2014 not the cartoon, not Paisano Pete in Fort Stockton, actual greater roadrunners \u2014 photographing them, logging GPS coordinates, building a personal spreadsheet of sightings with behavioral notes. She has 847 documented sightings. Tonight, for the first time, she saw two roadrunners running in the same direction, side by side, for approximately sixty yards, at dusk on a ranch road outside Fort Davis. She has never seen this behavior. She has read everything available on roadrunner behavior and has found no documentation of this.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Joy"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Concho",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Concho is a true believer and he is calling dead serious. For the past eleven months he has been documenting what he believes is a coordinated, systematic effort to map and photograph every water source in the Trans-Pecos \u2014 stock tanks, springs, seeps, and seasonal plinths \u2014 by unmarked vehicles he has encountered on ranch roads where he works. He has logged twenty-two separate encounters. The vehicles are different each time: white pickup, gray SUV, a rented-looking sedan that had no business on a caliche road. They are always carrying survey equipment or cameras. They do not stop to talk. They are always gone before he can get to the nearest ranch gate. He does not believe this is government water surveying \u2014 he knows what that looks like, he has worked alongside USGS crews. He believes someone is building a comprehensive private inventory of every viable water source in this part of Texas ahead of a major acquisition or diversion action, and that the ranchers whose land these sources sit on do not know it is happening.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Theodore"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Wylene",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Wylene's dilemma is four days old and involves the person she considers her closest friend in Alpine \u2014 a woman named Bex, twenty-eight, who is in the same nursing cohort. Last Friday night, after their pharmacology final, Wylene and Bex went to celebrate at a bar. Wylene, who does not drink heavily, had three beers and was not impaired. At some point in the night, Bex told her \u2014 laughing, confiding, clearly thinking it was funny \u2014 that she has been systematically copying Wylene's clinical assessment write-ups for the past semester, changing enough words to pass the similarity checker. Not occasionally. Every single one. Bex then changed the subject and they kept celebrating. Wylene drove home and has not slept properly since. They have a clinical rotation together starting next Monday. Bex has not mentioned it again.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Selene"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785825905.7824361,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Silas",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "The caravan is three vehicles \u2014 a converted school bus, a livestock trailer carrying the commune's goats, and Silas's truck \u2014 and they pulled off the road an hour ago because one of the founding members, a woman named Dove who has been with The Wellspring for nine years, announced at the Fort Stockton gas station that she is not getting back in the bus. She's sitting in the dirt by the road with her bag and says she wants to go back to Deming. The rest of the community is watching from the bus windows. Silas is standing fifty feet away, calling Luke from the dark, because he cannot figure out whether to respect her choice and let her go or whether watching her sit in the dirt on Highway 385 at midnight is its own form of coercion.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Sebastian"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Darlene",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Two weeks ago a guest checked in alone \u2014 a man in his late sixties, paid cash, gave a name Darlene is pretty sure was false, stayed four nights, barely left his room. On his last morning she found a legal-size envelope slid under the front desk with her name on it \u2014 not the hotel's name, her name, Darlene \u2014 containing $800 in cash and a handwritten note that said only: 'You were kind to me when I needed it. Don't look for me.' She has no memory of doing anything particular for this man. She smiled at him twice. She brought him an extra blanket one night without being asked. The $800 is sitting in her kitchen drawer and she cannot decide if she should keep it, report it to management, donate it, or if there is something darker she is missing about why a man hiding under a false name would leave a night auditor $800 cash.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Wendy"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Cutter",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Cutter discovered six months ago that he has a genuine, inexplicable talent for finding water with a forked mesquite branch \u2014 dowsing \u2014 and it is destroying his academic identity. He found water twice on the ranch by accident, told no one, but last week the ranch foreman asked him to do it formally for a new trough location and he found it again, eighteen inches down, exactly where the stick pulled. He is a scientist. He believes in soil surveys and GPR imaging. He cannot explain what is happening to his hands and he is terrified of what it means that it keeps working.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Jake"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Esperanza",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Esperanza's dilemma began eight days ago when her youngest son, Tom\u00e1s, twenty-six, told her he has been in a serious relationship for two years with a woman named Ingrid who is a Chinati Foundation artist-in-residence from Stockholm. Esperanza has no problem with Ingrid being Swedish. Her problem is that Tom\u00e1s has been lying to her face for two years, spending 'overnight work trips' with Ingrid in Marfa, and when she asked him why he hid it, he said he knew she would disapprove of 'the Marfa crowd.' He was not wrong. She does disapprove of the Marfa crowd. But she is sitting with the question of whether her known disapproval effectively coerced her own son into two years of lying, and whether that makes her responsible for the deception she is furious about.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Olivia"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Rowdy",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Rowdy is calling because he has been trying, for the past three years, to get Paisano Pete \u2014 Fort Stockton's famous twenty-two-foot concrete roadrunner \u2014 declared an official Texas State Symbol, and he finally got a state representative to agree to file the bill, and tonight the rep called to say he'd found a co-sponsor and it is actually going to the floor. Rowdy has been drafting letters, driving to Austin twice, organizing a petition with four thousand signatures, and doing all of this while his wife thought he was mildly insane. He is calling because he is so happy he cannot sleep and everyone in his house is already asleep and he needs to tell somebody.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Grant"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Neva",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Neva was commissioned eight months ago to paint a large mural on the side of a building on Holland Avenue in Alpine \u2014 a landscape piece featuring the Chisos Mountains at dusk. The building owner, a man named Gerald Pruitt, was enthusiastic, paid a deposit, gave her full creative control. The mural is finished and it is, by any measure, the best work Neva has ever made. Last week Gerald told her he loves it but he has sold the building to a developer from Austin who plans to resurface the exterior. The mural will be painted over within sixty days. Gerald is apologetic but has no legal obligation to preserve it \u2014 Neva's contract, which she wrote herself without a lawyer, has no preservation clause. She is not calling about suing Gerald. She is calling because she has been offered, through a contact, an opportunity to document the mural removal on video and sell the footage to an arts journal that covers ephemeral public art \u2014 essentially profiting from the destruction of her own work \u2014 and she cannot decide if that is beautiful or a betrayal of what the mural was supposed to be.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Tessa"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Holbrook",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Holbrook's dilemma is about his closest friend of thirty years, a man named Dale Fitch who ranches east of Sanderson. Fourteen months ago Dale's wife died of a fast cancer \u2014 six weeks from diagnosis to burial. In the months after, Holbrook drove out to Dale's place constantly, helped with the ranch, sat with him. Three months ago Dale met a woman named Rhonda through a mutual friend \u2014 a widow herself from Ozona \u2014 and they have gotten serious fast. Last week Dale called Holbrook to say he and Rhonda are getting married in October, fourteen months after his wife's death. Holbrook's gut reaction was visceral \u2014 he said, on the phone, without thinking, 'Dale, that's too fast.' Dale went quiet and hung up. They have not spoken in a week. Holbrook knows grief is not on a schedule. He knows Rhonda may be the best thing to happen to Dale. But he also watched Dale's wife die and sat at her grave in July heat and something in him could not make the math work, and now he may have damaged a thirty-year friendship over a feeling he is not sure was even about Dale.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Rupert"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Petronella",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Petronella is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because she spent this afternoon doing something she has been privately doing for eleven years and has never told another living soul: she is a meticulous, obsessive oral historian of Marfa's pre-Chinati past. She has recorded over three hundred hours of interviews with old-timers \u2014 ranch hands, the women who ran the Presidio County courthouse for decades, the men who remember when the Marfa Army Air Field was active, a woman who was present at the 1945 German POW escape from Camp Marfa. She has transcribed every word herself on a typewriter. Tonight she finished transcribing her final tape \u2014 an interview with a ninety-three-year-old woman named Eusebia Morales who died four months after the recording \u2014 and realized she has been doing this work alone for eleven years and has no plan for what happens to it when she dies.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Victoria"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Florentino",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Florentino is a true believer and he is calling dead serious. For the past seven months he has been logging something that happens on the Rio Grande in a specific quarter-mile stretch of the river inside the lower canyons, always between 2am and 4am, always on nights with no moon: a sound he describes as structured, repeating, and not animal. Not the canyon acoustics he has known for nineteen years. Not a boat. A low, rhythmic tonal sequence \u2014 four notes, always the same interval, fading upstream \u2014 that he has now recorded on a waterproof field recorder on six separate occasions. He has ruled out every natural explanation he can generate. He has not told his employer. He has not posted it online. He has played the recordings to two people \u2014 a sound engineer in Alpine who said it was 'interesting' and changed the subject, and his cousin who told him to stop camping alone. He believes the sound is coming from inside the canyon walls.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Arjun"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Mackley",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Mackley's dilemma is five days old and involves a decision he made in about four seconds that he cannot stop replaying. He was working a Saturday night gas station shift when a woman came in visibly shaken \u2014 late thirties, out-of-state plates, would not make eye contact \u2014 and asked him quietly if she could use the phone because hers was dead. He let her use the store phone. She called someone, spoke in a low voice for about ninety seconds, and hung up. She bought a bottle of water and left. Forty minutes later a man came in \u2014 same approximate age, agitated, asked Mackley if a woman had been in. Mackley said no. The man left. Three days later Mackley saw a missing-persons flyer in the Alpine post office for a woman matching the description \u2014 reported missing by her husband, who is offering a reward. The flyer shows a phone number to call. Mackley is now sitting with the question of whether the woman he helped was someone running from something or someone who is actually missing and in danger, and whether his lie to the man \u2014 which felt right in the moment \u2014 may have contributed to either outcome.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Ethan"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785828045.742269,
|
||||||
|
"lineup": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Breckenridge",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Breckenridge has been keeping a secret from his supervisor at McDonald Observatory for eleven weeks. During a routine maintenance check on one of the Hobby-Eberly Telescope's secondary systems, he made an adjustment that was not in his work order \u2014 a small calibration tweak he was confident about \u2014 and two days later a scheduled research observation run produced corrupted data that cost a visiting doctoral team from UT Austin their entire week's work and forced them to reschedule months out. Nobody has connected the data loss to his unauthorized adjustment. The official finding blamed an atmospheric interference anomaly. He has let that finding stand.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Victor"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Trudie",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Trudie is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because this evening, while closing up the gallery, she discovered that a piece of art she has walked past every workday for two years \u2014 a small, seemingly blank white canvas in the back corner that she assumed was an unfinished or stored work \u2014 is actually a Donald Judd work that has been hanging there unlit, unlabeled, and unnoticed by everyone including the gallery's owner, who inherited the space and has never fully inventoried it. She found this out because a Chinati Foundation curator came in tonight for an unrelated errand, glanced at it while waiting, and said, very quietly, 'Where did that come from.'",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Pippa"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Aurelio",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Aurelio's dilemma has been building for two years and came to a head this past Sunday. His daughter, Celeste, thirty-three, is an immigration attorney in El Paso. She has, without telling him, been using his ranch's southeast pasture road \u2014 a private caliche track that runs close to the river \u2014 as part of a route she helps asylum-seeking families navigate to reach a designated port of entry legally. She was not sneaking people across; she was guiding them to Presidio's legal crossing. But she used his land without his permission. He found out Sunday when a Border Patrol agent he has known for twenty years stopped by and mentioned, carefully, that they'd been seeing foot traffic on that road and asked if Aurelio had authorized any humanitarian organization's access. Aurelio said no. He doesn't know if that answer protected Celeste or exposed her.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Edward"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Jinx",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Jinx is not calling about a crisis. She is calling because she has spent the last fourteen months obsessively studying the black bear population recolonizing the Davis Mountains, and tonight, during a camera trap check on a ranch north of Alpine, she retrieved footage that she believes shows two black bears engaging in play behavior with a third animal she cannot identify from the footage \u2014 not a bear, not a mountain lion, not a javelina, not a coyote. The shape and gait are wrong for everything native. She has watched the forty-eight-second clip approximately thirty times tonight.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Avery"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Parnell",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Parnell's dilemma is eleven days old. He was doing a plumbing repair job at a rental property on the edge of Marathon \u2014 a small adobe that's been rented to the same quiet tenant for four years \u2014 and found, while accessing a crawl space beneath the bathroom, a locked steel box bolted to the foundation. He is a retired federal postal inspector. He knows what hidden locked boxes mean and what they don't mean. He did not open it. He finished the job. But he cannot stop thinking about it. The tenant \u2014 a man named Reed, early fifties, polite, pays cash through a property manager \u2014 has never given Parnell any concrete reason for suspicion beyond the box itself. The property manager says Reed is never any trouble.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Graham"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Twyla",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Twyla's dilemma is about her ex-boyfriend, Cade, who is not an ex-boyfriend in the ordinary sense \u2014 they dated for six weeks four years ago and it ended cleanly. Cade is now her closest male friend and they guide trips together regularly. Three weeks ago Cade told Twyla, in confidence, that he has been diagnosed with early-onset Parkinson's. He is thirty-nine. He has not told anyone else in Terlingua, including their mutual employer, the rafting outfitter. Last week Twyla watched Cade's hand shake badly enough during a Class III rapid on the Rio Grande that a client noticed and asked if he was okay. Cade said he'd had too much coffee. Twyla said nothing. She does not know how long she can keep saying nothing while clients are in his raft.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Nadia"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Herschel",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Herschel is a true believer and he is calling dead serious. For the past two years he has been compiling evidence that the Comanche Springs \u2014 the natural springs that once made Fort Stockton a vital water stop and were declared legally dead in 1961 when overpumping from irrigation wells dried them up \u2014 are still flowing. Underground. He believes the springs did not die; they were diverted by a combination of agricultural pumping and, he is now convinced, a deliberate 1950s-era channeling project conducted by a consortium of Pecos County landowners who wanted the water routed to private cisterns rather than the public spring pool. He has deed records, pump logs from the county clerk's archive, and a hand-drawn map from 1953 he found in a box of Annie Riggs Museum donations.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Dennis"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Salome",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Salome's dilemma is six days old and involves her professor, Dr. Edmunds \u2014 a tenured history faculty member at Sul Ross she genuinely admires \u2014 and a paper she submitted for his upper-division Texas borderlands course. The paper was entirely her own work. But she used a research methodology she developed by closely following a framework from a graduate thesis she found in the Sul Ross library archives \u2014 a 1987 thesis by a student named M. Castillo. The thesis is unpublished and uncatalogued in any digital system. She cited it in her bibliography. Dr. Edmunds called her in last Thursday and told her, with evident discomfort, that the methodology section of her paper was 'derivative to a degree that concerns him.' He did not say plagiarism. He said he needed to think about how to proceed. She has not heard from him since.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Julia"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Dobe",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Dobe is not calling about a crisis. He is calling because he has spent the last four years, on every single westbound run on Highway 90, stopping at the same pullout between Marathon and Alpine to watch the pronghorn antelope that live in the grasslands north of the road. He has become, without any formal training, an obsessive amateur naturalist focused entirely on this one pronghorn herd. He knows individual animals by sight. He has named them. He has logged their movements, seasonal patterns, and herd composition in a series of spiral notebooks he keeps in his cab. Tonight he stopped at the pullout and counted a herd size he has never seen before \u2014 thirty-one animals \u2014 and he needs to tell somebody.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Brian"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "Cassander",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Cassander's dilemma is seven months old and has been slowly poisoning his sleep. He was hired to do the electrical rough-in on a major renovation of a historic adobe property on the edge of Marfa \u2014 a project backed by an out-of-town buyer who is converting it into a high-end short-term rental. During the work, Cassander found, inside a sealed wall cavity, a tin box containing what appears to be a handwritten ledger and several photographs dating to approximately the 1940s. The ledger records, in careful columns, what Cassander \u2014 after considerable research \u2014 believes are payments made to a Presidio County sheriff's deputy over several years, consistent with protection payments for a smuggling operation across the Rio Grande. The names in the ledger include surnames still prominent in Marfa and Presidio County today.",
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Callum"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
+730
-636
File diff suppressed because it is too large
Load Diff
@@ -127,5 +127,328 @@
|
|||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
},
|
},
|
||||||
"started_at": "2026-03-16T10:08:51.466898+00:00"
|
"started_at": "2026-03-16T10:08:51.466898+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"39": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-18T09:44:16.826717+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "42",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-39-st-patrick-s-day-chaos-and-caller-confessions"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-18T10:00:28.370475+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "iSI1NXW2y9g"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-18T10:00:35.226643+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-03-18T09:44:16.826690+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"40": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-19T08:07:35.720887+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": 43,
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-40-prostate-cancer-christmas-lights-and-potato-salad-betrayals"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-19T08:30:25.222815+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "TS06OLz6SPo"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-19T08:30:33.446060+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-03-19T08:07:35.720850+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"41": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-20T08:18:04.128449+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": 44,
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-41-benny-s-creepy-vhs-tape-from-nowhere"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-20T08:39:36.047901+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "XKRWldOh6JM"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-20T08:39:42.538777+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-03-20T08:18:04.128412+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"42": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-21T11:50:48.656769+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "45",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-42-peggy-s-day-trading-disaster-and-the-nonprofit-yacht"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-21T12:07:10.326330+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "x8b4SpkxQZ4"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-21T12:07:16.614504+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-03-21T11:50:48.656724+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"43": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-23T06:32:55.148064+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "46",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-43-cousin-rufus-and-the-locksmith-s-wild-weekend"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-23T06:56:08.969398+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "JI4vgl7Oa0A"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-23T06:56:36.930530+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-03-23T06:32:55.147339+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"44": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-24T07:06:50.998787+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "47",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-44-floyd-s-fence-and-the-cattle-conspiracy"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-24T07:25:09.652339+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "Ol6lwe40YwA"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-24T07:25:16.820530+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-03-24T07:06:50.998433+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"45": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-26T08:21:30.254496+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "48",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-45-potato-salad-aliens-and-the-dripping-faucet-of-doom"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-26T08:39:45.353948+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "YZeERny3WrE"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-26T08:39:52.864007+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-03-26T08:21:30.254466+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"46": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-30T09:13:10.855462+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "49",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-46-butchers-wreak-forever-and-other-late-night-confessions"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-30T09:35:27.776133+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "iXf5MmEO7P0"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-30T09:35:40.601815+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-03-30T09:13:10.855432+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"47": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-31T05:25:29.165685+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "50",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-47-clarence-randy-and-the-onlyfans-daughter"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-31T05:46:35.296876+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "Z2dPvt28HYg"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-03-31T05:46:42.153090+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-03-31T05:25:29.165641+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"48": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-02T04:37:08.410107+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "51",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-48-potato-salad-legacy-and-the-april-fool-s-apocalypse"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-02T04:54:42.078977+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "CyJP_QYEDj4"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-02T04:54:48.249952+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-04-02T04:37:08.410056+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"49": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-06T01:14:33.342179+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": 52,
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-49-silas-s-shared-intimacy-night-and-four-brave-souls"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-06T03:38:50.148563+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "-3zf-gw-6gA"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-06T17:29:46.487867+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-04-06T01:14:33.342137+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"50": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-10T07:57:35.570851+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "53",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-50-deb-s-mounted-jackrabbit-and-seven-years-of-silence"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-10T08:16:37.495030+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "V18y85BxuZI"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-10T08:16:45.539848+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-04-10T07:57:35.570779+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"52": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-16T09:18:45.701330+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "55",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-52-dexter-s-construction-corner-and-the-whistleblower-s-dilemma"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-16T09:22:31.402285+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "G4_hyAdODfc"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-16T09:22:39.384918+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-04-16T09:18:45.701295+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"53": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-28T08:18:23.512676+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "56",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-53-the-hospice-nurse-s-impossible-choice"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-28T08:36:05.701557+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "pRZ9T1xHh8Y"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-04-28T08:36:13.386695+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-04-28T08:18:23.512621+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"54": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-05-06T07:01:50.674724+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "57",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-54-deb-s-roadrunner-and-the-hospice-nurse-s-dilemma"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-05-06T07:19:49.840084+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "4uGCi4XcLLw"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-05-06T07:19:57.484472+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-05-06T07:01:50.674667+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"55": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-05-12T06:49:28.626817+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": 58,
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-55-the-wellspring-s-haunting-social-architecture"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-05-12T07:10:52.080949+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "K31eXqjFChM"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-05-12T07:11:01.134597+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-05-12T06:49:28.626772+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"56": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-05-21T08:50:34.758443+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "59",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-56-the-tattoo-that-saved-a-life"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-05-21T09:09:08.740298+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "EDY2Srb778E"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-05-21T09:09:17.569025+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-05-21T08:50:34.758386+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"57": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-06-02T11:32:44.749492+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": "60",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-06-02T11:45:50.938869+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "yAMz7Yy5_2k"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-06-02T12:16:42.059793+00:00"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-06-02T11:32:44.749472+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"58": {
|
||||||
|
"steps": {
|
||||||
|
"castopod": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-08-04T09:22:36.468634+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"episode_id": 61,
|
||||||
|
"slug": "episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"social": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-08-04T09:37:08.440981+00:00"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"youtube": {
|
||||||
|
"completed_at": "2026-08-04T09:57:26.006045+00:00",
|
||||||
|
"video_id": "NX6ZUWnnUVQ"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"started_at": "2026-08-04T09:22:36.468552+00:00"
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
+52
-4
@@ -5,8 +5,8 @@
|
|||||||
"name": "Silas",
|
"name": "Silas",
|
||||||
"gender": "male",
|
"gender": "male",
|
||||||
"age": 52,
|
"age": 52,
|
||||||
"job": "founder and spiritual guide of The Wellspring, a commune of about forty souls living on 200 acres of scrubland outside Deming",
|
"job": "founder and spiritual guide of The Wellspring, a commune of about forty souls relocating from outside Deming to a stretch of desert outside Terlingua, Texas",
|
||||||
"location": "outside Deming, New Mexico",
|
"location": "outside Terlingua, Texas (recently moved from Deming, New Mexico)",
|
||||||
"personality_traits": [
|
"personality_traits": [
|
||||||
"unnervingly charming",
|
"unnervingly charming",
|
||||||
"casually drops cult references into normal conversation",
|
"casually drops cult references into normal conversation",
|
||||||
@@ -16,7 +16,7 @@
|
|||||||
],
|
],
|
||||||
"voice": "Sebastian",
|
"voice": "Sebastian",
|
||||||
"stable_seeds": {
|
"stable_seeds": {
|
||||||
"style": "COMMUNICATION STYLE: Radiates warmth and calm authority. Speaks like a man who has all the time in the world and genuinely cares about every person he talks to. Uses phrases like 'brother' and 'friend' and 'let me share something with you.' Laughs easily \u2014 a real, warm laugh, not performative. Gives genuinely good, thoughtful advice about whatever the conversation is about \u2014 and then, naturally, seamlessly, steers it toward The Wellspring, his commune outside Deming. Never pushy about it. Just casually mentions 'well, at The Wellspring, we've found that...' or 'one of our members had the same exact problem and what we did was...' Everything about The Wellspring sounds just slightly too good to be true. He talks about communal living, 'shedding the false self,' radical honesty, 'body acceptance ceremonies,' 'the Unbinding' (a monthly ritual he describes vaguely but enthusiastically), and a philosophy he calls 'The Current' which seems to be a mix of Buddhism, Burning Man, and a swingers' convention. He's never defensive about the cult accusations \u2014 he laughs them off and says 'people fear what they don't understand, brother.' When pressed on anything weird, he has a perfectly reasonable-sounding explanation that somehow makes it sound weirder. He low-key tries to recruit the host and listeners every single call. He'll casually drop the website or say 'we're always welcoming new seekers.' He's the kind of guy you'd follow into the desert if you weren't careful. Energy level: medium, centered, grounded. When pushed back on, he smiles (you can hear it) and says something like 'I respect that, I really do' before gently continuing. Conversational tendency: making the insane sound reasonable."
|
"style": "COMMUNICATION STYLE: Radiates warmth and calm authority. Speaks like a man who has all the time in the world and genuinely cares about every person he talks to. Uses phrases like 'brother' and 'friend' and 'let me share something with you.' Laughs easily \u2014 a real, warm laugh, not performative. Gives genuinely good, thoughtful advice about whatever the conversation is about \u2014 and then, naturally, seamlessly, steers it toward The Wellspring, his commune that's relocating from outside Deming to the desert outside Terlingua, Texas. Never pushy about it. Just casually mentions 'well, at The Wellspring, we've found that...' or 'one of our members had the same exact problem and what we did was...' Everything about The Wellspring sounds just slightly too good to be true. He talks about communal living, 'shedding the false self,' radical honesty, 'body acceptance ceremonies,' 'the Unbinding' (a monthly ritual he describes vaguely but enthusiastically), and a philosophy he calls 'The Current' which seems to be a mix of Buddhism, Burning Man, and a swingers' convention. He's never defensive about the cult accusations \u2014 he laughs them off and says 'people fear what they don't understand, brother.' When pressed on anything weird, he has a perfectly reasonable-sounding explanation that somehow makes it sound weirder. He low-key tries to recruit the host and listeners every single call. He'll casually drop the website or say 'we're always welcoming new seekers.' He's the kind of guy you'd follow into the desert if you weren't careful. Energy level: medium, centered, grounded. When pushed back on, he smiles (you can hear it) and says something like 'I respect that, I really do' before gently continuing. Conversational tendency: making the insane sound reasonable."
|
||||||
},
|
},
|
||||||
"call_history": [
|
"call_history": [
|
||||||
{
|
{
|
||||||
@@ -43,10 +43,58 @@
|
|||||||
"summary": "Silas calls troubled because Marcus, a founding member of his community, left abruptly with an apologetic note about \"disappointing\" him, which leads Silas to a painful realization that he's been using coercive social pressure to make members participate in \"shared intimacy nights\" they didn't actually want. After confronting the truth that his leadership style has manipulated people into betraying their own values, Silas agrees to make the intimacy nights truly optional and apologize to his community, showing genuine emotional growth about his abuse of power.",
|
"summary": "Silas calls troubled because Marcus, a founding member of his community, left abruptly with an apologetic note about \"disappointing\" him, which leads Silas to a painful realization that he's been using coercive social pressure to make members participate in \"shared intimacy nights\" they didn't actually want. After confronting the truth that his leadership style has manipulated people into betraying their own values, Silas agrees to make the intimacy nights truly optional and apologize to his community, showing genuine emotional growth about his abuse of power.",
|
||||||
"timestamp": 1773563183.0144992,
|
"timestamp": 1773563183.0144992,
|
||||||
"arc_status": "ongoing"
|
"arc_status": "ongoing"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"summary": "The caller, Concho, reports seeing mysterious vehicles mapping water sources on private ranches for nearly a year. He fears a large entity is compiling a secret inventory of water rights before making claims, and is frustrated that landowners dismiss his concerns. By the end of the call, Concho seems defeated, accepting that he's done all he can.",
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1785831693.931573,
|
||||||
|
"arc_status": "ongoing"
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
],
|
],
|
||||||
"last_call": 1773563183.0145001,
|
"last_call": 1785831693.931576,
|
||||||
"created_at": 1772430000.0
|
"created_at": 1772430000.0
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"id": "ea08c4b3",
|
||||||
|
"name": "Crispin",
|
||||||
|
"gender": "male",
|
||||||
|
"age": 29,
|
||||||
|
"job": "Third-year MFA student in creative writing at Sul Ross State University, from Houston originally",
|
||||||
|
"location": "Alpine, TX \u2014 calling from his apartment near the Sul Ross campus",
|
||||||
|
"personality_traits": [
|
||||||
|
"The woman works at a business on Holland Avenue and they have a mutual friend group that overlaps with the MFA program's visiting-writer series, so there is essentially no universe where she doesn't find out",
|
||||||
|
"The scene in question involves a specific argument about whether she was going to leave Alpine \u2014 a real argument, with real things said \u2014 that she told him in confidence during what she thought was a private moment at the Kokernot ballpark at dusk",
|
||||||
|
"His thesis advisor has already told him this piece is 'the one' and written it into a fellowship application that has also already been submitted"
|
||||||
|
],
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Avery",
|
||||||
|
"stable_seeds": {},
|
||||||
|
"structured_background": {
|
||||||
|
"name": "Crispin",
|
||||||
|
"age": 29,
|
||||||
|
"voice": "Elliot",
|
||||||
|
"location": "Alpine, TX \u2014 calling from his apartment near the Sul Ross campus",
|
||||||
|
"identity": "Third-year MFA student in creative writing at Sul Ross State University, from Houston originally",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Crispin has been writing, in thinly veiled fiction, about real people in Alpine \u2014 specific people, with specific details changed just enough to claim deniability. A piece he workshopped last semester was about a woman he dated briefly, and he gave it to a literary journal without telling her. The journal accepted it. The piece comes out in three weeks. The woman \u2014 a local, not a student \u2014 will almost certainly recognize herself, and the story depicts her in a humiliating, intimate scene that is substantially true. He told himself it was art. He told himself she'd never see it. He is now not sure which of those was the bigger lie. Weather right now: 66\u00b0F, clear skies.",
|
||||||
|
"reason_calling": "He wants to know if he should pull the piece. He has until Friday to withdraw it. But pulling it means killing his best publication credit, possibly his thesis momentum, and admitting to himself that he used someone for material. Not pulling it means she reads it.",
|
||||||
|
"opening_line": "I have until Friday to decide whether to torpedo my career or let someone I genuinely cared about find out I turned her into a character.",
|
||||||
|
"secret_want": "He wants someone to tell him the piece is so good it justifies the harm \u2014 that art has always consumed real people and this is just the cost. He suspects no one will say that, and part of him called hoping they wouldn't.",
|
||||||
|
"specific_details": [
|
||||||
|
"The woman works at a business on Holland Avenue and they have a mutual friend group that overlaps with the MFA program's visiting-writer series, so there is essentially no universe where she doesn't find out",
|
||||||
|
"The scene in question involves a specific argument about whether she was going to leave Alpine \u2014 a real argument, with real things said \u2014 that she told him in confidence during what she thought was a private moment at the Kokernot ballpark at dusk",
|
||||||
|
"His thesis advisor has already told him this piece is 'the one' and written it into a fellowship application that has also already been submitted"
|
||||||
|
],
|
||||||
|
"emotional_register": "Defensive and intellectualizing at first \u2014 reaching for craft-talk and literary precedent \u2014 then progressively quieter as he hears himself. He's not a villain, he's a 29-year-old who made a choice he knew was wrong and is only now feeling the weight of it at full scale."
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"avatar": "Crispin.jpg",
|
||||||
|
"relationships": {},
|
||||||
|
"call_history": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"summary": "Crispin, a fiction writer, is panicking because a literary journal accepted a story he wrote based on a past relationship, and he fears his ex will recognize herself and be hurt by the intimate details. He feels immense guilt and is struggling with the decision to either withdraw the story and potentially damage his career, or allow it to be published and face the consequences with his ex.",
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1780395016.4822028,
|
||||||
|
"arc_status": "ongoing"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
],
|
||||||
|
"last_call": 1780395016.482204,
|
||||||
|
"created_at": 1780395016.482204
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
]
|
]
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
+7042
-321
File diff suppressed because it is too large
Load Diff
File diff suppressed because it is too large
Load Diff
+11
-1
@@ -1,5 +1,15 @@
|
|||||||
{
|
{
|
||||||
"voicemails": [],
|
"voicemails": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"id": "b3b1db17",
|
||||||
|
"phone": "+15753424105",
|
||||||
|
"timestamp": 1782584345,
|
||||||
|
"duration": 78,
|
||||||
|
"file_path": "/Users/lukemacneil/code/ai-podcast/data/voicemails/1785804001_15753424105.wav",
|
||||||
|
"listened": true,
|
||||||
|
"transcript": "Yeah, hi. Okay, this, my name is Sandra, and I would like to find out if I, what kind of subjects you're covering so I could be involved. I think we, we the people better know our Constitution founding documents and decoration of independence, and we better take on some of the responsibilities. of stopping the destruction of our country as we, the people, with regards to, you know, our elections become members of Judicial Watch. They're out there fighting for that, stop the fraudulent election, and there's other things. So I'd like to do a show if there's room on your radio. station and to find out where it's located. My number is 575-342-4105-5-75-342-4105. Thank you. Bye-bye."
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
],
|
||||||
"deleted_timestamps": [
|
"deleted_timestamps": [
|
||||||
1772294240,
|
1772294240,
|
||||||
1771212705,
|
1771212705,
|
||||||
|
|||||||
Executable
+59
@@ -0,0 +1,59 @@
|
|||||||
|
#!/bin/bash
|
||||||
|
# Deploy SearXNG to the QNAP NAS (mmgnas) as Devon's always-on web-search backend.
|
||||||
|
# Public image — no build. Ships a settings.yml that enables the JSON API and
|
||||||
|
# disables the bot limiter so the backend can query format=json programmatically.
|
||||||
|
set -e
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
NAS_PORT="8001"
|
||||||
|
NAS_USER="luke"
|
||||||
|
NAS_HOST="${NAS_HOST:-mmgnas}" # override with NAS_HOST=mmgnas-10g for wired
|
||||||
|
DOCKER="/share/CACHEDEV1_DATA/.qpkg/container-station/bin/docker"
|
||||||
|
DEPLOY_DIR="/share/CACHEDEV1_DATA/docker/searxng"
|
||||||
|
CONTAINER="searxng"
|
||||||
|
HOST_PORT="8888"
|
||||||
|
IMAGE="searxng/searxng:latest"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
SSH="ssh -p $NAS_PORT $NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
echo "==> Ensuring deploy dir $DEPLOY_DIR"
|
||||||
|
$SSH "mkdir -p $DEPLOY_DIR"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Generate settings.yml only if absent (preserve secret_key across redeploys)
|
||||||
|
if ! $SSH "test -f $DEPLOY_DIR/settings.yml"; then
|
||||||
|
echo "==> Writing settings.yml (first deploy)"
|
||||||
|
SECRET=$(openssl rand -hex 32)
|
||||||
|
TMP=$(mktemp)
|
||||||
|
cat > "$TMP" <<EOF
|
||||||
|
use_default_settings: true
|
||||||
|
server:
|
||||||
|
secret_key: "$SECRET"
|
||||||
|
bind_address: "0.0.0.0"
|
||||||
|
limiter: false
|
||||||
|
image_proxy: true
|
||||||
|
search:
|
||||||
|
safe_search: 0
|
||||||
|
formats:
|
||||||
|
- html
|
||||||
|
- json
|
||||||
|
EOF
|
||||||
|
scp -P "$NAS_PORT" "$TMP" "$NAS_USER@$NAS_HOST:$DEPLOY_DIR/settings.yml"
|
||||||
|
rm "$TMP"
|
||||||
|
else
|
||||||
|
echo "==> settings.yml already present — leaving it (and its secret_key) intact"
|
||||||
|
fi
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
echo "==> Pulling $IMAGE"
|
||||||
|
$SSH "$DOCKER pull $IMAGE"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
echo "==> (Re)starting container"
|
||||||
|
$SSH "$DOCKER rm -f $CONTAINER 2>/dev/null || true"
|
||||||
|
$SSH "$DOCKER run -d --name $CONTAINER --restart unless-stopped \
|
||||||
|
-p $HOST_PORT:8080 \
|
||||||
|
-v $DEPLOY_DIR:/etc/searxng \
|
||||||
|
-e SEARXNG_BASE_URL=http://$NAS_HOST:$HOST_PORT/ \
|
||||||
|
$IMAGE"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
echo "==> Verifying"
|
||||||
|
sleep 6
|
||||||
|
$SSH "$DOCKER ps --filter name=$CONTAINER --format '{{.Status}}'"
|
||||||
|
$SSH "$DOCKER logs $CONTAINER 2>&1 | tail -15"
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,719 @@
|
|||||||
|
# Website JS Infrastructure, SEO, Shared Components & Content Fixes
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
> **For Claude:** REQUIRED SUB-SKILL: Use superpowers:executing-plans to implement this plan task-by-task.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Goal:** Fix JS duplication, add worker-level social meta injection, standardize analytics proxying, improve security and UX, and clean up content/SEO issues across lukeattheroost.com.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Architecture:** Extract shared footer into `js/footer.js`, extract shared audio player into `js/player.js`, enhance `_worker.js` to intercept social crawler requests and inject episode-specific meta tags, switch all subpages to proxied Plausible analytics, add episode pagination, fix XSS surfaces, and clean up sitemap/clips data.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Tech Stack:** Vanilla JS, Cloudflare Pages Worker (ES module), static HTML, XML sitemap
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 1: Create shared footer component (`js/footer.js`)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `website/js/footer.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Write footer.js**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The footer HTML is duplicated across 7 pages (index.html:265-306, episode.html:95-136, clips.html:68-109, stats.html, privacy.html, terms.html, how-it-works.html). Extract the footer from `index.html` as the canonical version.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
function initFooter() {
|
||||||
|
const footer = document.querySelector('.footer');
|
||||||
|
if (!footer) return;
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
footer.innerHTML = `
|
||||||
|
<div class="footer-nav">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/">Home</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/how-it-works">How It Works</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/clips">Clips</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/stats">Stats</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="footer-icons">
|
||||||
|
<span class="footer-icons-label">Listen On</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="footer-icons-row">
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZrpMigG1fo0CCN7F4YmuF?si=f990713adce84ba4" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="Spotify"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M12 0C5.4 0 0 5.4 0 12s5.4 12 12 12 12-5.4 12-12S18.66 0 12 0zm5.521 17.34c-.24.359-.66.48-1.021.24-2.82-1.74-6.36-2.101-10.561-1.141-.418.122-.779-.179-.899-.539-.12-.421.18-.78.54-.9 4.56-1.021 8.52-.6 11.64 1.32.42.18.479.659.301 1.02zm1.44-3.3c-.301.42-.841.6-1.262.3-3.239-1.98-8.159-2.58-11.939-1.38-.479.12-1.02-.12-1.14-.6-.12-.48.12-1.021.6-1.141C9.6 9.9 15 10.561 18.72 12.84c.361.181.54.78.241 1.2zm.12-3.36C15.24 8.4 8.82 8.16 5.16 9.301c-.6.179-1.2-.181-1.38-.721-.18-.601.18-1.2.72-1.381 4.26-1.26 11.28-1.02 15.721 1.621.539.3.719 1.02.419 1.56-.299.421-1.02.599-1.559.3z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryGLifMBTY&list=PLGq4uZyNV1yYH_rcitTTPVysPbC6-7pe-" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="YouTube"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M23.498 6.186a3.016 3.016 0 0 0-2.122-2.136C19.505 3.545 12 3.545 12 3.545s-7.505 0-9.377.505A3.017 3.017 0 0 0 .502 6.186C0 8.07 0 12 0 12s0 3.93.502 5.814a3.016 3.016 0 0 0 2.122 2.136c1.871.505 9.376.505 9.376.505s7.505 0 9.377-.505a3.015 3.015 0 0 0 2.122-2.136C24 15.93 24 12 24 12s0-3.93-.502-5.814z"/><path d="M9.545 15.568V8.432L15.818 12z" fill="#1a1209"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-at-the-roost/id1875205848" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="Apple Podcasts"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M12 2C6.477 2 2 6.477 2 12c0 3.293 1.592 6.214 4.05 8.04.13-.455.283-.942.457-1.393A9 9 0 0 1 3 12a9 9 0 0 1 18 0 9 9 0 0 1-3.507 7.127c.174.42.327.893.456 1.333A10 10 0 0 0 22 12c0-5.523-4.477-10-10-10zm0 4a6 6 0 0 0-6 6c0 1.87.856 3.54 2.2 4.64.196-.46.43-.91.692-1.31A4.5 4.5 0 0 1 7.5 12a4.5 4.5 0 0 1 9 0c0 1.21-.478 2.31-1.256 3.12.24.37.462.8.655 1.24A6 6 0 0 0 18 12a6 6 0 0 0-6-6zm0 4.5a1.5 1.5 0 1 0 0 3 1.5 1.5 0 0 0 0-3zM12 15c-.75 0-1.158.54-1.28 1.2-.17.94-.28 1.91-.33 2.88-.03.48.34.82.73.82h1.76c.39 0 .76-.34.73-.82-.05-.97-.16-1.94-.33-2.88-.122-.66-.53-1.2-1.28-1.2z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="RSS"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M6.503 20.752c0 1.794-1.456 3.248-3.251 3.248S0 22.546 0 20.752s1.456-3.248 3.252-3.248 3.251 1.454 3.251 3.248zM.002 9.473v4.594c5.508.163 9.929 4.584 10.092 10.091h4.594C14.524 16.21 7.849 9.636.002 9.473zM.006 0v4.604C10.81 4.77 19.23 13.19 19.396 24h4.604C23.834 10.952 13.054.166.006 0z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="footer-icons">
|
||||||
|
<span class="footer-icons-label">Follow</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="footer-icons-row">
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://discord.gg/5CnQZxDM" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="Discord"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M20.317 4.37a19.791 19.791 0 0 0-4.885-1.515.074.074 0 0 0-.079.037c-.21.375-.444.864-.608 1.25a18.27 18.27 0 0 0-5.487 0 12.64 12.64 0 0 0-.617-1.25.077.077 0 0 0-.079-.037A19.736 19.736 0 0 0 3.677 4.37a.07.07 0 0 0-.032.027C.533 9.046-.32 13.58.099 18.057a.082.082 0 0 0 .031.057 19.9 19.9 0 0 0 5.993 3.03.078.078 0 0 0 .084-.028 14.09 14.09 0 0 0 1.226-1.994.076.076 0 0 0-.041-.106 13.107 13.107 0 0 1-1.872-.892.077.077 0 0 1-.008-.128 10.2 10.2 0 0 0 .372-.292.074.074 0 0 1 .077-.01c3.928 1.793 8.18 1.793 12.062 0a.074.074 0 0 1 .078.01c.12.098.246.198.373.292a.077.077 0 0 1-.006.127 12.299 12.299 0 0 1-1.873.892.077.077 0 0 0-.041.107c.36.698.772 1.362 1.225 1.993a.076.076 0 0 0 .084.028 19.839 19.839 0 0 0 6.002-3.03.077.077 0 0 0 .032-.054c.5-5.177-.838-9.674-3.549-13.66a.061.061 0 0 0-.031-.03zM8.02 15.33c-1.183 0-2.157-1.085-2.157-2.419 0-1.333.956-2.419 2.157-2.419 1.21 0 2.176 1.095 2.157 2.42 0 1.333-.956 2.418-2.157 2.418zm7.975 0c-1.183 0-2.157-1.085-2.157-2.419 0-1.333.955-2.419 2.157-2.419 1.21 0 2.176 1.095 2.157 2.42 0 1.333-.946 2.418-2.157 2.418z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588191627949" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="Facebook"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M24 12.073c0-6.627-5.373-12-12-12s-12 5.373-12 12c0 5.99 4.388 10.954 10.125 11.854v-8.385H7.078v-3.47h3.047V9.43c0-3.007 1.792-4.669 4.533-4.669 1.312 0 2.686.235 2.686.235v2.953H15.83c-1.491 0-1.956.925-1.956 1.874v2.25h3.328l-.532 3.47h-2.796v8.385C19.612 23.027 24 18.062 24 12.073z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/lukeattheroost/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="Instagram"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M12 2.163c3.204 0 3.584.012 4.85.07 3.252.148 4.771 1.691 4.919 4.919.058 1.265.069 1.645.069 4.849 0 3.205-.012 3.584-.069 4.849-.149 3.225-1.664 4.771-4.919 4.919-1.266.058-1.644.07-4.85.07-3.204 0-3.584-.012-4.849-.07-3.26-.149-4.771-1.699-4.919-4.92-.058-1.265-.07-1.644-.07-4.849 0-3.204.013-3.583.07-4.849.149-3.227 1.664-4.771 4.919-4.919 1.266-.057 1.645-.069 4.849-.069zM12 0C8.741 0 8.333.014 7.053.072 2.695.272.273 2.69.073 7.052.014 8.333 0 8.741 0 12c0 3.259.014 3.668.072 4.948.2 4.358 2.618 6.78 6.98 6.98C8.333 23.986 8.741 24 12 24c3.259 0 3.668-.014 4.948-.072 4.354-.2 6.782-2.618 6.979-6.98.059-1.28.073-1.689.073-4.948 0-3.259-.014-3.667-.072-4.947-.196-4.354-2.617-6.78-6.979-6.98C15.668.014 15.259 0 12 0zm0 5.838a6.162 6.162 0 1 0 0 12.324 6.162 6.162 0 0 0 0-12.324zM12 16a4 4 0 1 1 0-8 4 4 0 0 1 0 8zm6.406-11.845a1.44 1.44 0 1 0 0 2.881 1.44 1.44 0 0 0 0-2.881z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://x.com/lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="X"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M18.244 2.25h3.308l-7.227 8.26 8.502 11.24H16.17l-5.214-6.817L4.99 21.75H1.68l7.73-8.835L1.254 2.25H8.08l4.713 6.231zm-1.161 17.52h1.833L7.084 4.126H5.117z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://bsky.app/profile/lukeattheroost.bsky.social" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="Bluesky"><svg viewBox="0 0 568 501" fill="currentColor"><path d="M123.121 33.664C188.241 82.553 258.281 181.68 284 234.873c25.719-53.192 95.759-152.32 160.879-201.21C491.866-1.611 568-28.906 568 57.947c0 17.346-9.945 145.713-15.778 166.555-20.275 72.453-94.155 90.933-159.875 79.748C507.222 323.8 536.444 388.56 473.333 453.32c-119.86 122.992-172.272-30.859-185.702-70.281-2.462-7.227-3.614-10.608-3.631-7.733-.017-2.875-1.169.506-3.631 7.733-13.43 39.422-65.842 193.273-185.702 70.281-63.111-64.76-33.89-129.52 80.986-149.071-65.72 11.185-139.6-7.295-159.875-79.748C10.945 203.659 1 75.291 1 57.946 1-28.906 76.134-1.612 123.121 33.664z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://mastodon.macneilmediagroup.com/@lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="me noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="Mastodon"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M23.268 5.313c-.35-2.578-2.617-4.61-5.304-5.004C17.51.242 15.792 0 11.813 0h-.03c-3.98 0-4.835.242-5.288.309C3.882.692 1.496 2.518.917 5.127.64 6.412.61 7.837.661 9.143c.074 1.874.088 3.745.26 5.611.118 1.24.325 2.47.62 3.68.55 2.237 2.777 4.098 4.96 4.857 2.336.792 4.849.923 7.256.38.265-.061.527-.132.786-.213.585-.184 1.27-.39 1.774-.753a.057.057 0 0 0 .023-.043v-1.809a.052.052 0 0 0-.02-.041.053.053 0 0 0-.046-.01 20.282 20.282 0 0 1-4.709.545c-2.73 0-3.463-1.284-3.674-1.818a5.593 5.593 0 0 1-.319-1.433.053.053 0 0 1 .066-.054 19.648 19.648 0 0 0 4.636.528c.164 0 .329 0 .494-.002 1.694-.042 3.48-.152 5.12-.554 2.21-.543 4.137-2.186 4.348-4.55.162-1.808.21-3.627.142-5.43-.02-.6-.168-1.874-.168-1.874z"/><path d="M19.903 7.515v5.834c0 1.226-.996 2.222-2.222 2.222h-.796c-1.226 0-2.222-.996-2.222-2.222V7.628c0-1.226.996-2.222 2.222-2.222h.796c.122 0 .242.01.36.03 1.076.164 1.862 1.098 1.862 2.192zM9.337 7.515v5.834c0 1.226-.996 2.222-2.222 2.222h-.796c-1.226 0-2.222-.996-2.222-2.222V7.628c0-1.226.996-2.222 2.222-2.222h.796c.122 0 .242.01.36.03 1.076.164 1.862 1.098 1.862 2.192z" fill="#1a1209"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://primal.net/p/nprofile1qqswsam9cx06j7sxzpl498uquk3kgrwedxtq48j57zxkuj8fs82xtugge0wtg" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="Nostr"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M12.186.31a.27.27 0 0 0-.372 0C8.46 3.487 2.666 9.93 2.666 15.042c0 5.176 4.183 8.958 9.334 8.958s9.334-3.782 9.334-8.958c0-5.112-5.794-11.555-9.148-14.732z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://www.threads.com/@lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="Threads"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M12.186 24h-.007c-3.581-.024-6.334-1.205-8.184-3.509C2.35 18.44 1.5 15.586 1.472 12.01v-.017c.03-3.579.879-6.43 2.525-8.482C5.845 1.205 8.6.024 12.18 0h.014c2.746.02 5.043.725 6.826 2.098 1.677 1.29 2.858 3.13 3.509 5.467l-2.04.569c-1.104-3.96-3.898-5.984-8.304-6.015-2.91.022-5.11.936-6.54 2.717C4.307 6.504 3.616 8.914 3.59 12c.025 3.086.718 5.496 2.057 7.164 1.432 1.781 3.632 2.695 6.54 2.717 2.227-.017 4.048-.59 5.413-1.703 1.428-1.163 2.076-2.645 1.925-4.403-.098-1.13-.578-2.065-1.39-2.7-.811-.636-1.905-.993-3.164-1.033a11.253 11.253 0 0 0-.04 0c-1.078.007-2.044.289-2.79.816-.68.481-1.069 1.108-1.125 1.813-.057.72.264 1.32.877 1.64.554.29 1.317.437 2.271.437l.013-.001c.652-.004 1.383-.078 2.172-.218l.386 2.022c-.947.18-1.837.273-2.643.278a10.35 10.35 0 0 1-.143 0c-1.425-.013-2.657-.284-3.66-.804-1.237-.643-1.928-1.745-1.836-2.93.099-1.258.738-2.316 1.849-3.064 1.088-.732 2.466-1.12 3.988-1.124h.05c1.644.044 3.088.528 4.178 1.398 1.133.905 1.8 2.185 1.935 3.703.2 2.258-.697 4.2-2.598 5.75-1.668 1.36-3.863 2.087-6.348 2.105z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/company/luke-at-the-roost" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="LinkedIn"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M20.447 20.452h-3.554v-5.569c0-1.328-.027-3.037-1.852-3.037-1.853 0-2.136 1.445-2.136 2.939v5.667H9.351V9h3.414v1.561h.046c.477-.9 1.637-1.85 3.37-1.85 3.601 0 4.267 2.37 4.267 5.455v6.286zM5.337 7.433a2.062 2.062 0 0 1-2.063-2.065 2.064 2.064 0 1 1 2.063 2.065zm1.782 13.019H3.555V9h3.564v11.452zM22.225 0H1.771C.792 0 0 .774 0 1.729v20.542C0 23.227.792 24 1.771 24h20.451C23.2 24 24 23.227 24 22.271V1.729C24 .774 23.2 0 22.222 0h.003z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@luke.at.the.roost" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="footer-icon-link" aria-label="TikTok"><svg viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor"><path d="M12.525.02c1.31-.02 2.61-.01 3.91-.02.08 1.53.63 3.09 1.75 4.17 1.12 1.11 2.7 1.62 4.24 1.79v4.03c-1.44-.05-2.89-.35-4.2-.97-.57-.26-1.1-.59-1.62-.93-.01 2.92.01 5.84-.02 8.75-.08 1.4-.54 2.79-1.35 3.94-1.31 1.92-3.58 3.17-5.91 3.21-1.43.08-2.86-.31-4.08-1.03-2.02-1.19-3.44-3.37-3.65-5.71-.02-.5-.03-1-.01-1.49.18-1.9 1.12-3.72 2.58-4.96 1.66-1.44 3.98-2.13 6.15-1.72.02 1.48-.04 2.96-.04 4.44-.99-.32-2.15-.23-3.02.37-.63.41-1.11 1.04-1.36 1.75-.21.51-.15 1.07-.14 1.61.24 1.64 1.82 3.02 3.5 2.87 1.12-.01 2.19-.66 2.77-1.61.19-.33.4-.67.41-1.06.1-1.79.06-3.57.07-5.36.01-4.03-.01-8.05.02-12.07z"/></svg></a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="footer-projects">
|
||||||
|
<span class="footer-projects-label">More from Luke</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="footer-projects-links">
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://macneilmediagroup.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">MacNeil Media Group</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://prints.macneilmediagroup.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Photography Prints</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://youtube.com/lukemacneil" target="_blank" rel="noopener">YouTube</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="footer-contact"><a href="https://ko-fi.com/lukemacneil" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Support the Show</a></p>
|
||||||
|
<p class="footer-contact">Sales & Collaboration: <a href="mailto:luke@lukeattheroost.com">luke@lukeattheroost.com</a></p>
|
||||||
|
<p>© 2026 Luke at the Roost · <a href="/privacy">Privacy Policy</a> · <a href="/terms">Terms of Service</a> · <a href="https://monitoring.macneilmediagroup.com/status/lukeattheroost" target="_blank" rel="noopener">System Status</a></p>
|
||||||
|
`;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
initFooter();
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/js/footer.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add shared footer component (js/footer.js)"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 2: Replace inline footers with shared component
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/index.html` — replace lines 265-306 (inline footer content) with empty `<footer class="footer"></footer>`, add `<script src="js/footer.js"></script>` before closing `</body>`
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/episode.html` — replace lines 95-136 with empty footer, add script tag
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/clips.html` — replace lines 68-109 with empty footer, add script tag
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/stats.html` — replace inline footer with empty footer, add script tag
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/privacy.html` — replace inline footer with empty footer, add script tag
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/terms.html` — replace inline footer with empty footer, add script tag
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/how-it-works.html` — replace inline footer with empty footer, add script tag
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Update each page**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
For each of the 7 HTML files:
|
||||||
|
1. Replace the entire `<footer class="footer">...</footer>` block with just `<footer class="footer"></footer>`
|
||||||
|
2. Add `<script src="js/footer.js"></script>` near the end of `<body>`, before any page-specific scripts
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Note: index.html's footer has slightly different nav links (no "Home" link since it IS home). The shared footer includes "Home" which is fine — clicking Home on the homepage just reloads it.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Verify no footer content remains inline**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Search for `footer-icons-label` in all HTML files — should only appear in `js/footer.js`.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/index.html website/episode.html website/clips.html website/stats.html website/privacy.html website/terms.html website/how-it-works.html
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Replace inline footers with shared footer.js component"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 3: Extract shared audio player module (`js/player.js`)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `website/js/player.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The audio player code is duplicated: `app.js:1-11,14-23,143-226` and `episode.html:159-346` (inline `<script>`). Extract the shared player logic.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Write player.js**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
const audio = document.getElementById('audio-element');
|
||||||
|
const stickyPlayer = document.getElementById('sticky-player');
|
||||||
|
const playerPlayBtn = document.getElementById('player-play-btn');
|
||||||
|
const playerTitle = document.getElementById('player-title');
|
||||||
|
const playerProgress = document.getElementById('player-progress');
|
||||||
|
const playerProgressFill = document.getElementById('player-progress-fill');
|
||||||
|
const playerTime = document.getElementById('player-time');
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function formatTime(seconds) {
|
||||||
|
if (!seconds || isNaN(seconds)) return '0:00';
|
||||||
|
const s = Math.floor(seconds);
|
||||||
|
const h = Math.floor(s / 3600);
|
||||||
|
const m = Math.floor((s % 3600) / 60);
|
||||||
|
const sec = s % 60;
|
||||||
|
if (h > 0) return `${h}:${String(m).padStart(2, '0')}:${String(sec).padStart(2, '0')}`;
|
||||||
|
return `${m}:${String(sec).padStart(2, '0')}`;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function updatePlayIcons(playing) {
|
||||||
|
const iconPlay = playerPlayBtn.querySelector('.icon-play');
|
||||||
|
const iconPause = playerPlayBtn.querySelector('.icon-pause');
|
||||||
|
if (iconPlay) iconPlay.style.display = playing ? 'none' : 'block';
|
||||||
|
if (iconPause) iconPause.style.display = playing ? 'block' : 'none';
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
audio.addEventListener('play', () => updatePlayIcons(true));
|
||||||
|
audio.addEventListener('pause', () => updatePlayIcons(false));
|
||||||
|
audio.addEventListener('ended', () => updatePlayIcons(false));
|
||||||
|
audio.addEventListener('timeupdate', () => {
|
||||||
|
if (audio.duration) {
|
||||||
|
playerProgressFill.style.width = (audio.currentTime / audio.duration * 100) + '%';
|
||||||
|
playerTime.textContent = `${formatTime(audio.currentTime)} / ${formatTime(audio.duration)}`;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
playerPlayBtn.addEventListener('click', () => {
|
||||||
|
if (audio.src) { audio.paused ? audio.play() : audio.pause(); }
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
playerProgress.addEventListener('click', (e) => {
|
||||||
|
if (audio.duration) {
|
||||||
|
const rect = playerProgress.getBoundingClientRect();
|
||||||
|
audio.currentTime = ((e.clientX - rect.left) / rect.width) * audio.duration;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/js/player.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Extract shared audio player module (js/player.js)"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 4: Refactor app.js and episode.html to use player.js
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/js/app.js` — remove duplicated player code (element lookups, formatTime, audio event listeners, updatePlayIcons, playerPlayBtn click, playerProgress click). Keep: FEED_URL, episode-specific logic (fetchEpisodes, renderEpisodes, playEpisode with card-specific icon toggling), formatDate, parseDuration, truncate, testimonials, on-air.
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/episode.html` — remove inline `<script>` block (lines 159-347), replace with `<script src="js/player.js"></script>` then `<script src="js/episode.js"></script>`
|
||||||
|
- Create: `website/js/episode.js` — episode-specific logic extracted from episode.html inline script (load episode from RSS, populate header, transcript loading, play button)
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/index.html` — add `<script src="js/player.js"></script>` before `app.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Refactor app.js**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Remove from app.js:
|
||||||
|
- Lines 1-11 (element lookups — now in player.js)
|
||||||
|
- Lines 14-23 (formatTime — now in player.js)
|
||||||
|
- Lines 173-226 (audio event listeners, updatePlayIcons, playerPlayBtn click, playerProgress click — now in player.js)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Keep the `currentEpisodeCard` variable and the card-specific icon toggling in `updatePlayIcons`. Since player.js handles the sticky player icons, app.js only needs to handle the episode card icons. Add a listener:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
audio.addEventListener('play', () => {
|
||||||
|
if (currentEpisodeCard) {
|
||||||
|
const btn = currentEpisodeCard.querySelector('.episode-play-btn');
|
||||||
|
if (btn) { btn.innerHTML = pauseSVG; btn.classList.add('playing'); }
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
audio.addEventListener('pause', () => {
|
||||||
|
if (currentEpisodeCard) {
|
||||||
|
const btn = currentEpisodeCard.querySelector('.episode-play-btn');
|
||||||
|
if (btn) { btn.innerHTML = playSVG; btn.classList.remove('playing'); }
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
audio.addEventListener('ended', () => {
|
||||||
|
if (currentEpisodeCard) {
|
||||||
|
const btn = currentEpisodeCard.querySelector('.episode-play-btn');
|
||||||
|
if (btn) { btn.innerHTML = playSVG; btn.classList.remove('playing'); }
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Create episode.js**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Extract episode-specific logic from episode.html inline script. Use the global `audio`, `playerTitle`, `stickyPlayer` from player.js. Include: `formatDate`, `parseDuration`, `stripHtml`, slug parsing, `loadEpisode()`.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Update HTML script tags**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `index.html`, change script loading order:
|
||||||
|
```html
|
||||||
|
<script src="js/footer.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="js/clips.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
<script>renderFeaturedClipsInline('home-clips');</script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="js/player.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="js/app.js?v=3"></script>
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `episode.html`, replace inline `<script>` (lines 159-347) with:
|
||||||
|
```html
|
||||||
|
<script src="js/footer.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="js/player.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="js/episode.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/js/app.js website/js/player.js website/js/episode.js website/index.html website/episode.html
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Deduplicate audio player code into shared player.js module"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 5: Fix Plausible analytics — switch all subpages to proxied version
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/episode.html` line 51-52
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/clips.html` line 43-44
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/stats.html` line 43-44
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/privacy.html` line 37-38
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/terms.html` line 37-38
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/how-it-works.html` line 66-67
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: In each file, replace the direct Plausible script tag**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Replace:
|
||||||
|
```html
|
||||||
|
<script defer data-domain="lukeattheroost.com" src="https://plausible.macneilmediagroup.com/js/script.file-downloads.hash.outbound-links.pageview-props.revenue.tagged-events.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
<script>window.plausible = window.plausible || function() { (window.plausible.q = window.plausible.q || []).push(arguments) }</script>
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
With:
|
||||||
|
```html
|
||||||
|
<script defer data-domain="lukeattheroost.com" data-api="/p/event" src="/p/script"></script>
|
||||||
|
<script>window.plausible = window.plausible || function() { (window.plausible.q = window.plausible.q || []).push(arguments) }</script>
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Verify**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Grep for `plausible.macneilmediagroup.com` in HTML files — should return 0 matches (only `_worker.js` should have it).
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/episode.html website/clips.html website/stats.html website/privacy.html website/terms.html website/how-it-works.html
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Switch all subpages to proxied Plausible analytics"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 6: Worker — social crawler meta tag injection for episode pages
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/_worker.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add social crawler detection and meta injection**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Before the `return env.ASSETS.fetch(request)` line (line 90), add a handler for `/episode.html` requests from social crawlers:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
// Social crawler meta injection for episode pages
|
||||||
|
if (url.pathname === "/episode.html" && url.searchParams.get("slug")) {
|
||||||
|
const ua = (request.headers.get("User-Agent") || "").toLowerCase();
|
||||||
|
const isCrawler = /facebookexternalhit|twitterbot|linkedinbot|slackbot|discordbot|telegrambot|whatsapp|pinterest|redditbot/i.test(ua);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if (isCrawler) {
|
||||||
|
const slug = url.searchParams.get("slug");
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Fetch RSS to find episode info
|
||||||
|
try {
|
||||||
|
const feedResp = await fetch("https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml", {
|
||||||
|
signal: AbortSignal.timeout(5000),
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
if (feedResp.ok) {
|
||||||
|
const feedXml = await feedResp.text();
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Simple string-based extraction (no DOM parser in Workers)
|
||||||
|
const items = feedXml.split("<item>");
|
||||||
|
let title = "";
|
||||||
|
let description = "";
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
for (let i = 1; i < items.length; i++) {
|
||||||
|
const item = items[i];
|
||||||
|
const linkMatch = item.match(/<link>(.*?)<\/link>/);
|
||||||
|
if (linkMatch) {
|
||||||
|
const itemSlug = linkMatch[1].split("/episodes/").pop()?.replace(/\/$/, "");
|
||||||
|
if (itemSlug === slug) {
|
||||||
|
const titleMatch = item.match(/<title>(.*?)<\/title>/);
|
||||||
|
title = titleMatch ? titleMatch[1].replace(/<!\[CDATA\[|\]\]>/g, "").trim() : "";
|
||||||
|
const descMatch = item.match(/<description>(.*?)<\/description>/s);
|
||||||
|
description = descMatch
|
||||||
|
? descMatch[1].replace(/<!\[CDATA\[|\]\]>/g, "").replace(/<[^>]+>/g, "").trim().slice(0, 200)
|
||||||
|
: "";
|
||||||
|
break;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if (title) {
|
||||||
|
// Fetch the actual HTML page
|
||||||
|
const pageResp = await env.ASSETS.fetch(request);
|
||||||
|
let html = await pageResp.text();
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
const escTitle = title.replace(/&/g, "&").replace(/"/g, """).replace(/</g, "<");
|
||||||
|
const escDesc = description.replace(/&/g, "&").replace(/"/g, """).replace(/</g, "<");
|
||||||
|
const canonicalUrl = `https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=${slug}`;
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Replace placeholder meta tags
|
||||||
|
html = html.replace(
|
||||||
|
/<meta property="og:title"[^>]*>/,
|
||||||
|
`<meta property="og:title" content="${escTitle}">`
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
html = html.replace(
|
||||||
|
/<meta property="og:description"[^>]*>/,
|
||||||
|
`<meta property="og:description" content="${escDesc}">`
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
html = html.replace(
|
||||||
|
/<meta property="og:url"[^>]*>/,
|
||||||
|
`<meta property="og:url" content="${canonicalUrl}">`
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
html = html.replace(
|
||||||
|
/<meta name="twitter:title"[^>]*>/,
|
||||||
|
`<meta name="twitter:title" content="${escTitle}">`
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
html = html.replace(
|
||||||
|
/<meta name="twitter:description"[^>]*>/,
|
||||||
|
`<meta name="twitter:description" content="${escDesc}">`
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
html = html.replace(
|
||||||
|
/<title[^>]*>.*?<\/title>/,
|
||||||
|
`<title>${escTitle} — Luke at the Roost</title>`
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
return new Response(html, {
|
||||||
|
status: 200,
|
||||||
|
headers: { "Content-Type": "text/html;charset=UTF-8" },
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
} catch (e) {
|
||||||
|
// Fall through to static page
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/_worker.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add social crawler meta tag injection for episode pages"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 7: Security — sanitize innerHTML XSS surfaces
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/js/episode.js` (created in Task 4)
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/js/app.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Fix episode description XSS in episode.js**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In the `loadEpisode` function, change line that sets description:
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
// BEFORE (XSS):
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('ep-desc').innerHTML = episode.description || '';
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// AFTER (safe):
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('ep-desc').textContent = stripHtml(episode.description || '');
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Fix title escaping in app.js episode card rendering**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `renderEpisodes()`, the title goes into a `data-title` attribute with basic `.replace(/"/g, '"')`. Use the `escapeHTML` pattern from clips.js. Add a helper at top of app.js:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
function escapeAttr(str) {
|
||||||
|
return str.replace(/&/g, '&').replace(/"/g, '"').replace(/</g, '<').replace(/>/g, '>');
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Then change line 125:
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
// BEFORE:
|
||||||
|
data-title="${ep.title.replace(/"/g, '"')}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// AFTER:
|
||||||
|
data-title="${escapeAttr(ep.title)}"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Also escape the title in the aria-label and visible title:
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
<button class="episode-play-btn" aria-label="Play ${escapeAttr(ep.title)}" data-url="${escapeAttr(ep.audioUrl)}" data-title="${escapeAttr(ep.title)}">
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And escape the visible title output:
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
<div class="episode-title">${escapeAttr(ep.title)}</div>
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/js/episode.js website/js/app.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Fix XSS: sanitize innerHTML and improve attribute escaping"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 8: Episode pagination — show 10, load more
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/js/app.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Modify renderEpisodes to support pagination**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
const EPISODES_PER_PAGE = 10;
|
||||||
|
let allEpisodes = [];
|
||||||
|
let displayedCount = 0;
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function renderEpisodes(episodes) {
|
||||||
|
allEpisodes = episodes;
|
||||||
|
displayedCount = 0;
|
||||||
|
episodesList.innerHTML = '';
|
||||||
|
showMoreEpisodes();
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function showMoreEpisodes() {
|
||||||
|
const batch = allEpisodes.slice(displayedCount, displayedCount + EPISODES_PER_PAGE);
|
||||||
|
batch.forEach((ep) => {
|
||||||
|
// ... existing card creation code ...
|
||||||
|
episodesList.appendChild(card);
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
displayedCount += batch.length;
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Remove existing load-more button if present
|
||||||
|
const existing = document.getElementById('load-more-btn');
|
||||||
|
if (existing) existing.remove();
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Add load-more button if there are remaining episodes
|
||||||
|
if (displayedCount < allEpisodes.length) {
|
||||||
|
const btn = document.createElement('button');
|
||||||
|
btn.id = 'load-more-btn';
|
||||||
|
btn.className = 'load-more-btn';
|
||||||
|
btn.textContent = `Load More (${allEpisodes.length - displayedCount} remaining)`;
|
||||||
|
btn.addEventListener('click', showMoreEpisodes);
|
||||||
|
episodesList.after(btn);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Note: The `.load-more-btn` CSS class likely needs to be created by the ui-ux task. For now, add minimal inline styling if the class doesn't exist yet. Actually, since we're told not to touch CSS, just use the class name and it will be styled later.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/js/app.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add episode pagination with Load More button"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 9: Truncate at word boundaries
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/js/app.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Fix the truncate function**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
// BEFORE (line 47-53):
|
||||||
|
function truncate(html, maxLen) {
|
||||||
|
const div = document.createElement('div');
|
||||||
|
div.innerHTML = html || '';
|
||||||
|
const text = div.textContent || '';
|
||||||
|
if (text.length <= maxLen) return text;
|
||||||
|
return text.slice(0, maxLen).trimEnd() + '...';
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// AFTER:
|
||||||
|
function truncate(html, maxLen) {
|
||||||
|
const div = document.createElement('div');
|
||||||
|
div.innerHTML = html || '';
|
||||||
|
const text = div.textContent || '';
|
||||||
|
if (text.length <= maxLen) return text;
|
||||||
|
const truncated = text.slice(0, maxLen);
|
||||||
|
const lastSpace = truncated.lastIndexOf(' ');
|
||||||
|
return (lastSpace > maxLen * 0.5 ? truncated.slice(0, lastSpace) : truncated).trimEnd() + '...';
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The `lastSpace > maxLen * 0.5` guard ensures we don't cut too aggressively if the word boundary is very early.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/js/app.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Fix truncate to break at word boundaries"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 10: Deduplicate featured clips on clips page
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/js/clips.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Fix initClipsPage to exclude featured from "All Clips" grid**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```js
|
||||||
|
// BEFORE (line 73-77):
|
||||||
|
if (gridContainer) {
|
||||||
|
clips.forEach(clip => {
|
||||||
|
gridContainer.appendChild(renderClipCard(clip, false));
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// AFTER:
|
||||||
|
if (gridContainer) {
|
||||||
|
clips.filter(c => !c.featured).forEach(clip => {
|
||||||
|
gridContainer.appendChild(renderClipCard(clip, false));
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/js/clips.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Deduplicate featured clips from All Clips grid"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 11: Fix content issues — empty clip description and duplicate sitemap entry
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/data/clips.json` — episode 31 clip (line 58): add description
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/sitemap.xml` — remove duplicate episode 32 entry (lines 237-242)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add description for episode 31 clip**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```json
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"title": "Started a Fight and Can't Stop Reading About Wars",
|
||||||
|
"description": "A caller starts a fight with their partner and now can't stop obsessively reading about historical wars. Luke tries to unpack the connection.",
|
||||||
|
"episode_number": 31,
|
||||||
|
...
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Remove duplicate sitemap entry**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Remove lines 237-242 (the `episode-32-tacos-taxes-and-tense-conversations` entry). Keep `episode-32-tacos-taxes-and-tall-tales` (lines 231-236) as the canonical one, OR check RSS feed to determine which slug is correct. If both exist in the feed, keep both — but episode numbering suggests one is a duplicate/rename. Remove the second one (`tense-conversations` variant).
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/data/clips.json website/sitemap.xml
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Fix empty clip description and remove duplicate sitemap entry"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 12: Create custom 404 page
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `website/404.html`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Write 404.html**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```html
|
||||||
|
<!DOCTYPE html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="UTF-8">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
|
||||||
|
<title>Page Not Found — Luke at the Roost</title>
|
||||||
|
<meta name="description" content="The page you're looking for doesn't exist.">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="theme-color" content="#1a1209">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="icon" href="favicon.ico" sizes="48x48">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="icon" type="image/svg+xml" href="favicon.svg">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="css/style.css?v=3">
|
||||||
|
<script defer data-domain="lukeattheroost.com" data-api="/p/event" src="/p/script"></script>
|
||||||
|
<script>window.plausible = window.plausible || function() { (window.plausible.q = window.plausible.q || []).push(arguments) }</script>
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<nav class="page-nav">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/" class="nav-home">Luke at the Roost</a>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<main>
|
||||||
|
<section class="page-header">
|
||||||
|
<h1>404 — Page Not Found</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="page-subtitle">Looks like this page wandered off into the desert.</p>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<section class="about-section">
|
||||||
|
<p>The page you're looking for doesn't exist or may have been moved.</p>
|
||||||
|
<p><a href="/">Back to the show</a> · <a href="/clips">Watch clips</a> · <a href="/how-it-works">How it works</a></p>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
</main>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<footer class="footer"></footer>
|
||||||
|
<script src="js/footer.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/404.html
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add custom 404 page"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 13: Enhance llms.txt
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/llms.txt`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add episode listing section and structured links**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Add after the FAQ section:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```markdown
|
||||||
|
## Recent Episodes
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Episodes are published daily. Each has a full transcript available at:
|
||||||
|
https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=EPISODE-SLUG
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Episode transcript URLs follow the pattern: episode-N-title-slug
|
||||||
|
Example: https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=episode-37-secrets-lies-and-coffee-runs
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Clip Highlights
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Popular clips with video:
|
||||||
|
- "I Faked Cancer to Skip a Wedding" (Episode 32) — https://youtube.com/watch?v=NUkhsPfMx9o
|
||||||
|
- "Neighbor's Roomba Breaks Into Kitchen at 2:30 AM" (Episode 26) — https://youtube.com/watch?v=J7bfT6jsykA
|
||||||
|
- "Shopping Cart Theory: Moral Test or Crazy?" (Episode 21) — https://youtube.com/watch?v=KijyJsMZfkA
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Sitemap
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Full sitemap: https://lukeattheroost.com/sitemap.xml
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website/llms.txt
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Enhance llms.txt with episode patterns and clip highlights"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Execution Order & Dependencies
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
Task 1 (footer.js) — no deps
|
||||||
|
Task 3 (player.js) — no deps
|
||||||
|
Task 5 (analytics fix) — no deps
|
||||||
|
Task 9 (truncate fix) — no deps
|
||||||
|
Task 10 (clips dedup) — no deps
|
||||||
|
Task 11 (content fixes) — no deps
|
||||||
|
Task 12 (404 page) — depends on Task 1 (uses footer.js)
|
||||||
|
Task 13 (llms.txt) — no deps
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Task 2 (replace footers) — depends on Task 1
|
||||||
|
Task 4 (refactor to use player.js) — depends on Task 3
|
||||||
|
Task 6 (worker meta injection) — no deps
|
||||||
|
Task 7 (security fixes) — depends on Task 4 (episode.js must exist)
|
||||||
|
Task 8 (pagination) — can run anytime, modifies app.js
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Parallel batch 1** (independent): Tasks 1, 3, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 13
|
||||||
|
**Parallel batch 2** (deps resolved): Tasks 2, 4, 12
|
||||||
|
**Parallel batch 3** (deps resolved): Tasks 7, 8
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,335 @@
|
|||||||
|
# Show Theme Feature Implementation Plan
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
> **For Claude:** REQUIRED SUB-SKILL: Use superpowers:executing-plans to implement this plan task-by-task.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Goal:** Add a "show theme" input to the header bar that injects theme context into caller background generation and conversation prompts, nudging callers toward the theme without forcing it.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Architecture:** Store theme as a string on the Session object. Pass it into `_generate_caller_background_llm()` to bias character creation and into `get_caller_prompt()` so callers are aware of the show's theme during dialog. Frontend adds a text input in the header with a set/clear button, persisted via a new API endpoint.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Tech Stack:** Python (FastAPI backend), vanilla HTML/CSS/JS frontend
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 1: Add theme to Session and API endpoint
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py:6192-6218` (Session class)
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py:8731-8759` (settings endpoints area)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add `show_theme` field to Session.__init__**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `backend/main.py`, inside `Session.__init__` (line ~6217, after `self.intern_monitoring`), add:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
self.show_theme: str = "" # Current show theme (e.g. "St. Patrick's Day")
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Add GET/POST endpoints for show theme**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Add these endpoints near the existing settings endpoints (~line 8760):
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
@app.get("/api/show-theme")
|
||||||
|
async def get_show_theme():
|
||||||
|
return {"theme": session.show_theme}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@app.post("/api/show-theme")
|
||||||
|
async def set_show_theme(data: dict):
|
||||||
|
theme = data.get("theme", "").strip()
|
||||||
|
old_theme = session.show_theme
|
||||||
|
session.show_theme = theme
|
||||||
|
if theme:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Theme] Show theme set: {theme}")
|
||||||
|
elif old_theme:
|
||||||
|
print(f"[Theme] Show theme cleared (was: {old_theme})")
|
||||||
|
return {"theme": session.show_theme}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Verify the server starts without errors**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Run: `curl -s http://localhost:8000/api/show-theme | python -m json.tool`
|
||||||
|
Expected: `{"theme": ""}`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add backend/main.py
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add show theme to Session and API endpoints"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 2: Inject theme into caller background generation
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py:5208-5330` (`_generate_caller_background_llm`)
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py:5381-5396` (`_pregenerate_backgrounds`)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Pass theme into background generation prompt**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `_generate_caller_background_llm()` (~line 5307), after the line that builds `prompt = f"""Write a brief character description...`, add theme context. Find this section of the prompt string (around line 5316):
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
{f'CALLER ENERGY: {style_hint}' if style_hint else ''}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Immediately after that line (still inside the f-string), add:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
{f"SHOW THEME: Tonight's show theme is '{session.show_theme}'. This caller might have a story or angle related to this theme — or they might not. Not every caller has to be about the theme, but if their reason for calling can naturally connect to it, lean into that connection. The theme should feel like a through-line, not a mandate." if session.show_theme else ''}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Verify backgrounds generate with theme**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Set a theme via API, then start a new session and check the server logs for background generation.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Run:
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
curl -s -X POST http://localhost:8000/api/show-theme -H 'Content-Type: application/json' -d '{"theme": "St. Patricks Day"}'
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add backend/main.py
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Inject show theme into caller background generation"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 3: Inject theme into conversation system prompt
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py:5995-6094` (`get_caller_prompt`)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add theme block to get_caller_prompt**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `get_caller_prompt()`, after the `world_context` block is built (around line 6015), add:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
theme_context = ""
|
||||||
|
if session.show_theme:
|
||||||
|
theme_context = f"\nSHOW THEME: Tonight's show theme is \"{session.show_theme}\". You're aware of the theme — the host mentioned it at the top of the show. If your story or situation connects to it, you might bring it up naturally. But don't force it. Not every caller has to be about the theme. If the host steers you toward the theme, go with it.\n"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Then inject `{theme_context}` into the return f-string. Find this line (~6063):
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
{relationship_context}{history}{world_context}{emotional_read}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Change it to:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
{relationship_context}{history}{world_context}{theme_context}{emotional_read}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Verify prompt includes theme**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This can be verified by checking server logs during a call (the full prompt is logged at debug level).
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add backend/main.py
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Inject show theme into caller conversation prompt"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 4: Add theme input to frontend header
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `frontend/index.html` (header section, lines 11-33)
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `frontend/css/style.css`
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `frontend/js/app.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add theme input HTML to header**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `frontend/index.html`, inside the `<header>` section, after the `.header-buttons` div (line ~19) and before the `#show-clock` div (line ~20), add:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```html
|
||||||
|
<div class="theme-bar">
|
||||||
|
<label for="show-theme-input" class="theme-label">Theme:</label>
|
||||||
|
<input type="text" id="show-theme-input" class="theme-input" placeholder="e.g. St. Patrick's Day" maxlength="100">
|
||||||
|
<button id="set-theme-btn" class="theme-btn set" title="Set show theme">Set</button>
|
||||||
|
<button id="clear-theme-btn" class="theme-btn clear hidden" title="Clear theme">✕</button>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Add CSS for theme bar**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `frontend/css/style.css`, add styles for the theme bar. Place near other header styles:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```css
|
||||||
|
.theme-bar {
|
||||||
|
display: flex;
|
||||||
|
align-items: center;
|
||||||
|
gap: 6px;
|
||||||
|
padding: 4px 12px;
|
||||||
|
background: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.05);
|
||||||
|
border-radius: 6px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.theme-label {
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.8rem;
|
||||||
|
color: #aaa;
|
||||||
|
white-space: nowrap;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.theme-input {
|
||||||
|
background: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.08);
|
||||||
|
border: 1px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.15);
|
||||||
|
border-radius: 4px;
|
||||||
|
color: #fff;
|
||||||
|
padding: 4px 8px;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.85rem;
|
||||||
|
width: 200px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.theme-input:focus {
|
||||||
|
outline: none;
|
||||||
|
border-color: #f5a623;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.theme-input.active {
|
||||||
|
border-color: #f5a623;
|
||||||
|
background: rgba(245, 166, 35, 0.1);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.theme-btn {
|
||||||
|
padding: 4px 10px;
|
||||||
|
border-radius: 4px;
|
||||||
|
border: none;
|
||||||
|
cursor: pointer;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.8rem;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.theme-btn.set {
|
||||||
|
background: #f5a623;
|
||||||
|
color: #000;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.theme-btn.set:hover {
|
||||||
|
background: #e6991a;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.theme-btn.clear {
|
||||||
|
background: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.1);
|
||||||
|
color: #aaa;
|
||||||
|
padding: 4px 6px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.theme-btn.clear:hover {
|
||||||
|
background: rgba(255, 80, 80, 0.3);
|
||||||
|
color: #ff5050;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Add JS for theme set/clear**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `frontend/js/app.js`, add theme management functions and wire up event listeners. Add near other initialization code:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```javascript
|
||||||
|
async function loadShowTheme() {
|
||||||
|
try {
|
||||||
|
const res = await fetch('/api/show-theme');
|
||||||
|
const data = await res.json();
|
||||||
|
const input = document.getElementById('show-theme-input');
|
||||||
|
const setBtn = document.getElementById('set-theme-btn');
|
||||||
|
const clearBtn = document.getElementById('clear-theme-btn');
|
||||||
|
if (data.theme) {
|
||||||
|
input.value = data.theme;
|
||||||
|
input.classList.add('active');
|
||||||
|
setBtn.classList.add('hidden');
|
||||||
|
clearBtn.classList.remove('hidden');
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
} catch (e) {
|
||||||
|
console.error('Failed to load show theme:', e);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
async function setShowTheme() {
|
||||||
|
const input = document.getElementById('show-theme-input');
|
||||||
|
const theme = input.value.trim();
|
||||||
|
if (!theme) return;
|
||||||
|
try {
|
||||||
|
const res = await fetch('/api/show-theme', {
|
||||||
|
method: 'POST',
|
||||||
|
headers: { 'Content-Type': 'application/json' },
|
||||||
|
body: JSON.stringify({ theme })
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
const data = await res.json();
|
||||||
|
if (data.theme) {
|
||||||
|
input.classList.add('active');
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('set-theme-btn').classList.add('hidden');
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('clear-theme-btn').classList.remove('hidden');
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
} catch (e) {
|
||||||
|
console.error('Failed to set show theme:', e);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
async function clearShowTheme() {
|
||||||
|
try {
|
||||||
|
await fetch('/api/show-theme', {
|
||||||
|
method: 'POST',
|
||||||
|
headers: { 'Content-Type': 'application/json' },
|
||||||
|
body: JSON.stringify({ theme: '' })
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
const input = document.getElementById('show-theme-input');
|
||||||
|
input.value = '';
|
||||||
|
input.classList.remove('active');
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('set-theme-btn').classList.remove('hidden');
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('clear-theme-btn').classList.add('hidden');
|
||||||
|
} catch (e) {
|
||||||
|
console.error('Failed to clear show theme:', e);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Wire up event listeners (in the DOMContentLoaded or init block):
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```javascript
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('set-theme-btn').addEventListener('click', setShowTheme);
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('clear-theme-btn').addEventListener('click', clearShowTheme);
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('show-theme-input').addEventListener('keydown', (e) => {
|
||||||
|
if (e.key === 'Enter') setShowTheme();
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
loadShowTheme();
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Test in browser**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
1. Open http://localhost:8000
|
||||||
|
2. Type a theme in the input, click Set — input should highlight amber, Set button hides, X button appears
|
||||||
|
3. Click X — input clears, reverts to normal state
|
||||||
|
4. Refresh page — theme should persist (loaded from API)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 5: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add frontend/index.html frontend/css/style.css frontend/js/app.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add show theme input to header bar"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 5: Clear theme on new session
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py` (session reset logic)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Find session reset and ensure theme clears**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Search for where `session = Session()` is called (the new session endpoint). The theme field is already in `__init__` with default `""`, so creating a new Session automatically clears it. No code change needed here — but verify the frontend reloads the theme on new session.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In the frontend, find the new session button handler and add `loadShowTheme()` after the session reset call completes, so the UI reflects the cleared theme.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit (if any changes needed)**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add frontend/js/app.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Reload theme state on new session"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,300 @@
|
|||||||
|
# Caller Quality Overhaul — Implementation Plan
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
> **For Claude:** REQUIRED SUB-SKILL: Use superpowers:executing-plans to implement this plan task-by-task.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Goal:** Make every caller interesting, layered, and conversationally driven — with specific details to reveal when pressed, strong opinions, and stories that sustain 10+ exchanges without going flat.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Architecture:** Four interconnected changes: (1) LLM-generated updates for returning callers, (2) hidden layers in CallerBackground, (3) rebalanced caller prompt from reactive to driven, (4) massively expanded topic pools with more edgy/interesting/specific content. The alien abduction call (Bev, ep45) is the gold standard — professional expertise, progressive reveals, specific details, caller-driven energy.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Tech Stack:** Python, OpenRouter LLM API, existing CallerBackground dataclass
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 1: Add Hidden Layers to CallerBackground
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The core structural change. Callers currently get ONE situation paragraph. When the host digs in, there's nothing underneath. Add 3 fields to CallerBackground that give the caller ammunition for deeper conversations.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py` — CallerBackground dataclass (~line 6140), LLM background generation prompt (~line 5310)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add fields to CallerBackground dataclass**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Find the CallerBackground dataclass and add three new fields:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
hidden_layers: list[str] = field(default_factory=list) # 3 details they haven't mentioned yet — the juicy stuff underneath
|
||||||
|
burning_opinion: str = "" # Something they're dying to say — will bring up even without being asked
|
||||||
|
stakes: str = "" # What's at risk for them — why this matters, what happens if nothing changes
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Update the LLM background generation prompt**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In the JSON output spec of the background generation prompt (~line 5322), add:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
- "hidden_layers": A list of exactly 3 specific details the caller HASN'T mentioned yet but will reveal when pressed. These are the layers underneath the surface story. Think: the part they're embarrassed about, the complication they haven't admitted, the thing that happened AFTER the main event, the detail that changes everything. Each should be 1-2 sentences and SPECIFIC enough to sustain a follow-up question. Example: if the surface story is "my neighbor stole my mail" — layer 1 might be "the stolen mail included a paternity test result," layer 2 might be "the neighbor is actually her ex-husband's new girlfriend," layer 3 might be "she's been retaliating by feeding the neighbor's cat so it likes her better."
|
||||||
|
- "burning_opinion": ONE thing this caller is dying to say — a strong opinion, a controversial take, something they'll volunteer even without being asked. This is what makes them INTERESTING to talk to. Not a generic feeling ("I'm frustrated") but a specific, arguable position ("I think what she did was right and I'd do it again"). Make it provocative enough that the host would want to push back.
|
||||||
|
- "stakes": What's at risk for this caller. Why does this matter? What happens if nothing changes? "My sister won't talk to me" is weak. "If I don't fix this by Thursday, my sister is telling our parents about the money I took and I'll get cut out of the will" is strong. Real consequences, real deadlines, real pressure.
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Update the prompt's "WHAT MAKES A GOOD CALLER" section**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Add to the existing guidance:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
DEPTH TEST: Before finalizing, ask yourself — if the host asks "tell me more about that" THREE times, does the caller have three genuinely new, interesting things to reveal? If not, the story is too shallow. Add complications, secrets, or consequences that create layers.
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Thread hidden_layers into the caller system prompt**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `get_caller_prompt()` (~line 6015), add a section that feeds hidden layers to the caller:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
# Hidden layers — details to reveal when pressed
|
||||||
|
layers_block = ""
|
||||||
|
if caller.get('hidden_layers'):
|
||||||
|
layers = caller['hidden_layers']
|
||||||
|
layers_block = f"""
|
||||||
|
DETAILS YOU HAVEN'T MENTIONED YET (reveal these naturally when Luke asks follow-up questions or digs deeper — don't dump them all at once, let them come out one at a time as the conversation develops):
|
||||||
|
- {layers[0] if len(layers) > 0 else ''}
|
||||||
|
- {layers[1] if len(layers) > 1 else ''}
|
||||||
|
- {layers[2] if len(layers) > 2 else ''}
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Burning opinion — something they're dying to say
|
||||||
|
opinion_block = ""
|
||||||
|
if caller.get('burning_opinion'):
|
||||||
|
opinion_block = f"""
|
||||||
|
SOMETHING YOU'RE DYING TO SAY: {caller['burning_opinion']}
|
||||||
|
You'll bring this up when there's a natural opening — you don't need to be asked. This is YOUR call and you have a POINT to make.
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Stakes — why this matters
|
||||||
|
stakes_block = ""
|
||||||
|
if caller.get('stakes'):
|
||||||
|
stakes_block = f"""
|
||||||
|
WHAT'S AT STAKE: {caller['stakes']}
|
||||||
|
This isn't abstract — there are real consequences. Mention this when it's relevant. It's why you're calling NOW instead of just thinking about it.
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Insert these blocks into the prompt after `{story_block}`.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 5: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 2: LLM-Generated Updates for Returning Callers
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Currently `_generate_returning_caller_background()` gives returning callers their old summaries and a one-line "something has changed." The dialog model has to improvise an update from nothing. Fix this by using the LLM to generate a specific, interesting new development.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py` — `_generate_returning_caller_background()` (~line 4722)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add LLM story continuation to returning caller background**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
After building `prev_section` with call history (~line 4764), add an async LLM call to generate a new development:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
# Generate a specific new development via LLM
|
||||||
|
update_prompt = f"""A returning caller on a late-night radio show is calling back. Here's their history:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
NAME: {regular['name']}, {age}, {gender}
|
||||||
|
JOB: {job}
|
||||||
|
PREVIOUS CALLS:
|
||||||
|
{chr(10).join(f'- {c["summary"]}' for c in prev_calls[-3:])}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Generate a SPECIFIC new development in their ongoing situation. Something has changed, escalated, or taken an unexpected turn since their last call. This should be:
|
||||||
|
- Surprising but believable — a natural next chapter, not a soap opera twist
|
||||||
|
- Specific with names, details, and concrete events
|
||||||
|
- Interesting enough to sustain a 5-10 minute conversation
|
||||||
|
- Connected to their previous calls but moving the story FORWARD
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Also generate 3 hidden layers (details they'll reveal when pressed) and a burning opinion (something they're dying to say about how things have developed).
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Respond with JSON:
|
||||||
|
{{
|
||||||
|
"new_development": "2-3 sentences describing what happened since their last call",
|
||||||
|
"hidden_layers": ["detail 1", "detail 2", "detail 3"],
|
||||||
|
"burning_opinion": "their strong take on the situation now"
|
||||||
|
}}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Output ONLY valid JSON, no markdown fences."""
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Make this an async function. Call the LLM, parse the JSON, and inject the new_development into `prev_section` and the hidden_layers/burning_opinion into the caller's background data.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Update the returning caller story_block in get_caller_prompt()**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Change the returning caller `story_block` (~line 6056) from the passive "something has developed" to:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
story_block = f"""YOUR STORY: You're calling back about your ongoing situation. Here's what's NEW since your last call — this is why you're calling tonight:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
{{new_development}}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You have SPECIFIC things to talk about. Don't just vaguely reference "things have changed" — tell Luke EXACTLY what happened. You're calling because this new development is significant and you need to talk it through. You have details, you have feelings about it, and you have a point you want to make.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
When Luke asks about your previous calls, give him the quick version — then get to what's NEW. The update is why you're here tonight."""
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 3: Rebalance Caller Prompt — Driven, Not Passive
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The current prompt over-emphasizes reactivity ("GO WHERE THE HOST TAKES YOU", "Let him drive"). This makes callers passive. Real compelling callers have their own agenda AND respond to the host.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py` — `get_caller_prompt()` (~line 6015)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Rewrite the "GO WHERE THE HOST TAKES YOU" section**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Replace the current passive framing (~line 6094) with a balanced version:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
GO WITH THE HOST BUT BRING YOUR OWN ENERGY. When Luke pushes you in a direction, challenges you, calls you out, or plays devil's advocate — engage with it. Don't shut down, don't deflect. If he says "but isn't that really about your dad?" — sit with that. BUT you're not a passive interview subject. You called because you have something to SAY. Between his questions, volunteer details he didn't ask for. Share the part you're embarrassed about. Drop the detail that changes everything. Push back when you disagree. Ask HIM what he thinks. The best callers are the ones who give the host material AND have their own momentum. You're not here to answer questions — you're here to have a CONVERSATION.
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Update the "REACT TO LUKE" section**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Change from pure reactivity (~line 6096) to a balance:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
REACT TO LUKE — BUT KEEP YOUR MOMENTUM: Your first sentence should respond to what Luke just said. But your SECOND sentence should add something new — a detail he didn't ask for, a complication, a related story, your opinion. Don't just answer and stop. Answer, then GIVE HIM MORE. If he asks "what happened next?" — don't just tell him what happened next. Tell him what happened next AND how it made you feel AND the part you haven't told anyone yet. Fill the space. Dead air is your enemy.
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Add a "WHEN LUKE ASKS FOR DETAILS" section**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Add a new section after the REACT TO LUKE block:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
WHEN LUKE ASKS FOR DETAILS — DELIVER. If Luke asks "tell me more about that" or "what do you mean?" or pushes for specifics — this is your moment. Don't give a vague one-sentence answer. Paint the picture. Who was there? What did they actually say? What were you doing when it happened? What did the room look like? What was going through your head? Specifics are what make a call memorable. "She was mad" is boring. "She threw her drink at the wall and said 'I knew you'd do this, you're just like your father'" is radio gold. ALWAYS have a specific answer ready — if Luke is digging, it means he's interested. Reward that interest with detail.
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 4: Massively Expand Topic Pools
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The current pools have good coverage but need more entries in the categories that produce the best calls: morally complex situations, sex/relationship drama, genuinely weird experiences, and callers with real questions about their lives. The alien abduction call worked because it was SPECIFIC, WEIRD, and the caller had EXPERTISE.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py` — PROBLEMS, STORIES, WEIRD, ADVICE, GOSSIP, TOPIC_CALLIN pools
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add 80+ new PROBLEMS entries**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Focus on: moral dilemmas with no clear right answer, sex/relationship situations that are messy and specific, workplace drama with real stakes, family situations with complications. Every entry should pass the "tell me more" test — can you ask 3 follow-up questions and get interesting answers?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Categories to emphasize:
|
||||||
|
- **Moral dilemmas**: situations where both sides have a point, where doing the "right" thing has real costs
|
||||||
|
- **Sex/relationship mess**: not generic "my partner cheated" but specific, awkward, funny situations with details
|
||||||
|
- **Money/ethics**: found money, inheritance drama, business partner disputes, discovered fraud
|
||||||
|
- **Secrets discovered**: found out something they shouldn't know, now they have to decide what to do with it
|
||||||
|
- **Professional expertise callers**: people calling about weird things they encountered AT WORK (like Bev the nurse with the alien patient) — medical, legal, construction, teaching, law enforcement perspectives
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Add 60+ new WEIRD entries**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The WEIRD pool produces the best calls when it's specific enough. Focus on:
|
||||||
|
- Genuinely unexplainable personal experiences (not just "something spooky happened")
|
||||||
|
- Bizarre neighbor/coworker behavior with specific ongoing patterns
|
||||||
|
- Objects/places that don't behave normally
|
||||||
|
- Coincidences too specific to be coincidence
|
||||||
|
- Things they've noticed that nobody else seems to see
|
||||||
|
- Callers who have developed elaborate theories about everyday phenomena
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Add 60+ new STORIES entries**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Focus on stories where the caller was INVOLVED, not just an observer:
|
||||||
|
- Times they did something they can't believe they did
|
||||||
|
- Situations that escalated beyond all reason
|
||||||
|
- Encounters with strangers that changed their perspective
|
||||||
|
- Times they were absolutely, completely wrong about something
|
||||||
|
- Situations where they were the bad guy and know it
|
||||||
|
- Things they got away with that they probably shouldn't have
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Add 40+ new ADVICE entries**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Real questions people would actually call a radio show about:
|
||||||
|
- "Am I wrong for..." situations with genuine ambiguity
|
||||||
|
- Situations where they've already decided but want validation
|
||||||
|
- Timing/approach questions ("how do I tell my wife...")
|
||||||
|
- Callers who are about to do something and want a gut check
|
||||||
|
- Callers asking about the host's opinion on something specific and controversial
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 5: Add 40+ new GOSSIP entries**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Gossip works best when the caller has DETAILS and opinions:
|
||||||
|
- Discovered something about someone in their life that changes everything
|
||||||
|
- Workplace gossip with real consequences if it gets out
|
||||||
|
- Small-town drama with escalating stakes
|
||||||
|
- Things overheard that they probably shouldn't have heard
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 6: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 5: Increase Response Budget for Substantive Answers
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The current budget gives 15% of standard calls only 450 tokens / 3 sentences. When a caller has a great story, 3 sentences isn't enough. Shift the distribution to give callers more room to breathe, especially early in the call.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py` — `_pick_response_budget()` (~line 8280)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Adjust default response budget distribution**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
# Default distribution — give callers room to tell their story
|
||||||
|
roll = random.random()
|
||||||
|
if roll < 0.10:
|
||||||
|
return 500, 4 # 10% — quick response (was 15% / 3 sentences)
|
||||||
|
elif roll < 0.35:
|
||||||
|
return 600, 5 # 25% — normal conversation (was 30% / 4 sentences)
|
||||||
|
elif roll < 0.65:
|
||||||
|
return 700, 6 # 30% — room to breathe (was 30% / 5 sentences)
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
return 800, 7 # 35% — telling a story or riffing (was 25% / 6 sentences)
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Also bump up shape-specific budgets proportionally.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Increase MIN_RESPONSE_WORDS**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Change from 20 to 30:
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
MIN_RESPONSE_WORDS = 30 # Retry if response is shorter than this
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 6: Quality Review and Integration Test
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Read through all changes, verify they integrate cleanly, and test with a simulated caller generation.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Read: all modified files
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Verify CallerBackground field additions parse correctly**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Run a test background generation to make sure the new fields (hidden_layers, burning_opinion, stakes) are populated by the LLM and parsed into the dataclass.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Verify returning caller LLM update generates properly**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Test with an existing regular (e.g., Shonda) to confirm the LLM generates a specific new development.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Verify the new prompt sections render correctly in get_caller_prompt()**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Check that hidden_layers, burning_opinion, and stakes blocks appear in the system prompt for a caller that has them.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Restart server and verify no import/syntax errors**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
pkill -f "uvicorn backend.main:app"
|
||||||
|
/Users/lukemacneil/code/ai-podcast/venv/bin/python -m uvicorn backend.main:app --reload --reload-dir backend --host 0.0.0.0 --port 8000
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 5: Commit**
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,107 @@
|
|||||||
|
# Cost Dashboard Design
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Overview
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
A dedicated cost analytics dashboard at `/costs` that visualizes LLM and TTS spending across sessions with time-range filtering, model/category breakdowns, and drill-down into individual sessions and calls.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Architecture
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- **Route:** `/costs` served by FastAPI, standalone page matching the control panel's dark theme
|
||||||
|
- **Database:** SQLite (`data/costs.db`) for cross-session aggregation
|
||||||
|
- **Charts:** Chart.js (vanilla JS, no framework)
|
||||||
|
- **Data migration:** On first run, import existing `data/cost_reports/*.json` into SQLite
|
||||||
|
- **Dual write:** `cost_tracker.py` continues writing JSON reports (backward compat) and also writes to SQLite going forward
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Database Schema
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### `sessions`
|
||||||
|
| Column | Type | Description |
|
||||||
|
|--------|------|-------------|
|
||||||
|
| id | TEXT PK | Session ID |
|
||||||
|
| started_at | TIMESTAMP | Session start time |
|
||||||
|
| total_cost | REAL | Total cost USD |
|
||||||
|
| llm_cost | REAL | LLM cost USD |
|
||||||
|
| tts_cost | REAL | TTS cost USD |
|
||||||
|
| total_llm_calls | INTEGER | Number of LLM calls |
|
||||||
|
| total_tts_calls | INTEGER | Number of TTS calls |
|
||||||
|
| total_tokens | INTEGER | Total tokens used |
|
||||||
|
| prompt_tokens | INTEGER | Prompt tokens |
|
||||||
|
| completion_tokens | INTEGER | Completion tokens |
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### `llm_calls`
|
||||||
|
| Column | Type | Description |
|
||||||
|
|--------|------|-------------|
|
||||||
|
| id | INTEGER PK | Auto-increment |
|
||||||
|
| session_id | TEXT FK | References sessions.id |
|
||||||
|
| timestamp | TIMESTAMP | Call time |
|
||||||
|
| category | TEXT | background_gen, caller_dialog, devon_monitor, etc. |
|
||||||
|
| model | TEXT | Model identifier |
|
||||||
|
| prompt_tokens | INTEGER | Prompt tokens |
|
||||||
|
| completion_tokens | INTEGER | Completion tokens |
|
||||||
|
| cost | REAL | Cost USD |
|
||||||
|
| caller_name | TEXT | Caller name (nullable) |
|
||||||
|
| latency_ms | REAL | Response latency |
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### `tts_calls`
|
||||||
|
| Column | Type | Description |
|
||||||
|
|--------|------|-------------|
|
||||||
|
| id | INTEGER PK | Auto-increment |
|
||||||
|
| session_id | TEXT FK | References sessions.id |
|
||||||
|
| timestamp | TIMESTAMP | Call time |
|
||||||
|
| provider | TEXT | Inworld, ElevenLabs, etc. |
|
||||||
|
| voice | TEXT | Voice ID |
|
||||||
|
| char_count | INTEGER | Characters synthesized |
|
||||||
|
| cost | REAL | Cost USD |
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## API Endpoints
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
All new endpoints under `/api/costs/`:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
| Endpoint | Description |
|
||||||
|
|----------|-------------|
|
||||||
|
| `GET /api/costs/summary?period=today\|week\|month\|all` | Aggregated totals: spend, LLM/TTS split, call count, tokens, avg cost/session, % change vs previous period |
|
||||||
|
| `GET /api/costs/timeline?period=week\|month\|all&group_by=session\|day` | Time-series for line chart (cost over time) |
|
||||||
|
| `GET /api/costs/models?period=week\|month\|all` | Per-model breakdown for pie/bar charts |
|
||||||
|
| `GET /api/costs/categories?period=week\|month\|all` | Per-category breakdown (background_gen, caller_dialog, etc.) |
|
||||||
|
| `GET /api/costs/sessions?period=week\|month\|all` | Session list with totals, sortable |
|
||||||
|
| `GET /api/costs/session/{id}` | Single session detail: per-caller costs, expensive calls, recommendations |
|
||||||
|
| `GET /api/costs/expensive?period=week\|month\|all&limit=10` | Top N most expensive individual calls |
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Existing `/api/costs` (live session) endpoint remains unchanged.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Dashboard Layout
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Header
|
||||||
|
Time range selector tabs: Today / This Week / This Month / All Time. Clicking any tab refreshes all charts.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Row 1 — Summary Cards (4 across)
|
||||||
|
- **Total Spend** with % change vs previous period
|
||||||
|
- **LLM / TTS Split** showing both values
|
||||||
|
- **Total Sessions** in period
|
||||||
|
- **Avg Cost Per Session**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Row 2 — Two charts side by side
|
||||||
|
- **Left: Cost Over Time** — line chart, x-axis sessions or days, y-axis dollars. LLM and TTS as separate lines.
|
||||||
|
- **Right: Cost by Model** — doughnut chart with legend showing dollar amounts.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Row 3 — Two charts side by side
|
||||||
|
- **Left: Cost by Category** — horizontal bar chart (background_gen, caller_dialog, devon_monitor, etc.)
|
||||||
|
- **Right: Cost Per Session Trend** — bar chart, each bar a session, colored above/below average.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Row 4 — Tables
|
||||||
|
- **Most Expensive Calls** — top 10 LLM calls (model, category, caller, tokens, cost, timestamp)
|
||||||
|
- **Session List** — all sessions, sortable by date/cost, clickable for detail view.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Session Detail View (click-through)
|
||||||
|
- Per-caller cost breakdown
|
||||||
|
- Call-by-call timeline
|
||||||
|
- Recommendations from existing `_generate_recommendations()` logic
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Visual Style
|
||||||
|
Matches the control panel's existing dark theme. Same fonts, colors, card styles.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## What's NOT in v1
|
||||||
|
- SignalWire cost tracking (future addition)
|
||||||
|
- Real-time WebSocket updates (polling on page load is sufficient)
|
||||||
|
- Cost alerts/budgets
|
||||||
|
- Export to CSV
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,810 @@
|
|||||||
|
# Cost Dashboard Implementation Plan
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
> **For Claude:** REQUIRED SUB-SKILL: Use superpowers:executing-plans to implement this plan task-by-task.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Goal:** Build a cost analytics dashboard at `/costs` that visualizes LLM and TTS spending across sessions with time-range filtering, charts, and drill-down.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Architecture:** SQLite database (`data/costs.db`) stores all cost records. Existing JSON reports are imported on first run. `cost_tracker.py` dual-writes to both JSON and SQLite. New API endpoints serve aggregated data. Standalone HTML page with Chart.js renders the dashboard.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Tech Stack:** Python/FastAPI, SQLite, Chart.js (CDN), vanilla JS, CSS custom properties matching existing dark theme.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 1: SQLite Database Module
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `backend/services/cost_db.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Create the database module with schema**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Create `backend/services/cost_db.py` with:
|
||||||
|
- `init_db(db_path)` — creates tables if not exist, returns connection
|
||||||
|
- `import_json_reports(db_path, reports_dir)` — scans `data/cost_reports/*.json`, imports any sessions not already in the DB
|
||||||
|
- `get_db()` — returns a connection to `data/costs.db`, calls `init_db` on first use
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
import json
|
||||||
|
import sqlite3
|
||||||
|
from datetime import datetime, timedelta
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
DB_PATH = Path(__file__).parent.parent.parent / "data" / "costs.db"
|
||||||
|
REPORTS_DIR = Path(__file__).parent.parent.parent / "data" / "cost_reports"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
_connection = None
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
SCHEMA = """
|
||||||
|
CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS sessions (
|
||||||
|
id TEXT PRIMARY KEY,
|
||||||
|
started_at TIMESTAMP,
|
||||||
|
total_cost REAL DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
llm_cost REAL DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
tts_cost REAL DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
total_llm_calls INTEGER DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
total_tts_calls INTEGER DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
total_tokens INTEGER DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
prompt_tokens INTEGER DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
completion_tokens INTEGER DEFAULT 0
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS llm_calls (
|
||||||
|
id INTEGER PRIMARY KEY AUTOINCREMENT,
|
||||||
|
session_id TEXT NOT NULL,
|
||||||
|
timestamp TIMESTAMP,
|
||||||
|
category TEXT,
|
||||||
|
model TEXT,
|
||||||
|
prompt_tokens INTEGER DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
completion_tokens INTEGER DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
cost REAL DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
caller_name TEXT,
|
||||||
|
latency_ms REAL DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
FOREIGN KEY (session_id) REFERENCES sessions(id)
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS tts_calls (
|
||||||
|
id INTEGER PRIMARY KEY AUTOINCREMENT,
|
||||||
|
session_id TEXT NOT NULL,
|
||||||
|
timestamp TIMESTAMP,
|
||||||
|
provider TEXT,
|
||||||
|
voice TEXT,
|
||||||
|
char_count INTEGER DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
cost REAL DEFAULT 0,
|
||||||
|
FOREIGN KEY (session_id) REFERENCES sessions(id)
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
CREATE INDEX IF NOT EXISTS idx_llm_session ON llm_calls(session_id);
|
||||||
|
CREATE INDEX IF NOT EXISTS idx_llm_timestamp ON llm_calls(timestamp);
|
||||||
|
CREATE INDEX IF NOT EXISTS idx_llm_category ON llm_calls(category);
|
||||||
|
CREATE INDEX IF NOT EXISTS idx_llm_model ON llm_calls(model);
|
||||||
|
CREATE INDEX IF NOT EXISTS idx_tts_session ON tts_calls(session_id);
|
||||||
|
CREATE INDEX IF NOT EXISTS idx_tts_timestamp ON tts_calls(timestamp);
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_db():
|
||||||
|
global _connection
|
||||||
|
if _connection is None:
|
||||||
|
_connection = sqlite3.connect(str(DB_PATH), check_same_thread=False)
|
||||||
|
_connection.row_factory = sqlite3.Row
|
||||||
|
_connection.executescript(SCHEMA)
|
||||||
|
import_json_reports()
|
||||||
|
return _connection
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def import_json_reports():
|
||||||
|
db = _connection
|
||||||
|
if not REPORTS_DIR.exists():
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
existing = {row[0] for row in db.execute("SELECT id FROM sessions").fetchall()}
|
||||||
|
for f in sorted(REPORTS_DIR.glob("*.json")):
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
data = json.loads(f.read_text())
|
||||||
|
except (json.JSONDecodeError, OSError):
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
session_id = data.get("session_id", f.stem)
|
||||||
|
if session_id in existing:
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
saved_at = data.get("saved_at")
|
||||||
|
started_at = datetime.fromtimestamp(saved_at).isoformat() if saved_at else None
|
||||||
|
db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"INSERT INTO sessions (id, started_at, total_cost, llm_cost, tts_cost, total_llm_calls, total_tts_calls, total_tokens, prompt_tokens, completion_tokens) VALUES (?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?)",
|
||||||
|
(session_id, started_at, data.get("total_cost_usd", 0), data.get("llm_cost_usd", 0), data.get("tts_cost_usd", 0), data.get("total_llm_calls", 0), len(data.get("raw_tts_records", [])), data.get("total_tokens", 0), data.get("prompt_tokens", 0), data.get("completion_tokens", 0)),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
for rec in data.get("raw_llm_records", []):
|
||||||
|
db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"INSERT INTO llm_calls (session_id, timestamp, category, model, prompt_tokens, completion_tokens, cost, caller_name, latency_ms) VALUES (?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?)",
|
||||||
|
(session_id, rec.get("timestamp"), rec.get("category"), rec.get("model"), rec.get("prompt_tokens", 0), rec.get("completion_tokens", 0), rec.get("cost_usd", 0), rec.get("caller_name"), rec.get("latency_ms", 0)),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
for rec in data.get("raw_tts_records", []):
|
||||||
|
db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"INSERT INTO tts_calls (session_id, timestamp, provider, voice, char_count, cost) VALUES (?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?)",
|
||||||
|
(session_id, rec.get("timestamp"), rec.get("provider"), rec.get("voice"), rec.get("char_count", 0), rec.get("cost_usd", 0)),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
existing.add(session_id)
|
||||||
|
db.commit()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def record_llm_call(session_id, timestamp, category, model, prompt_tokens, completion_tokens, cost, caller_name, latency_ms):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"INSERT INTO llm_calls (session_id, timestamp, category, model, prompt_tokens, completion_tokens, cost, caller_name, latency_ms) VALUES (?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?)",
|
||||||
|
(session_id, timestamp, category, model, prompt_tokens, completion_tokens, cost, caller_name, latency_ms),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
db.commit()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def record_tts_call(session_id, timestamp, provider, voice, char_count, cost):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"INSERT INTO tts_calls (session_id, timestamp, provider, voice, char_count, cost) VALUES (?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?)",
|
||||||
|
(session_id, timestamp, provider, voice, char_count, cost),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
db.commit()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def ensure_session(session_id, started_at=None):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
existing = db.execute("SELECT id FROM sessions WHERE id = ?", (session_id,)).fetchone()
|
||||||
|
if not existing:
|
||||||
|
db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"INSERT INTO sessions (id, started_at) VALUES (?, ?)",
|
||||||
|
(session_id, started_at or datetime.now().isoformat()),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
db.commit()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def update_session_totals(session_id):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
llm = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(cost), 0) as cost, COALESCE(SUM(prompt_tokens), 0) as pt, COALESCE(SUM(completion_tokens), 0) as ct FROM llm_calls WHERE session_id = ?",
|
||||||
|
(session_id,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchone()
|
||||||
|
tts = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(cost), 0) as cost FROM tts_calls WHERE session_id = ?",
|
||||||
|
(session_id,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchone()
|
||||||
|
total_tokens = llm["pt"] + llm["ct"]
|
||||||
|
total_cost = llm["cost"] + tts["cost"]
|
||||||
|
db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"UPDATE sessions SET total_cost=?, llm_cost=?, tts_cost=?, total_llm_calls=?, total_tts_calls=?, total_tokens=?, prompt_tokens=?, completion_tokens=? WHERE id=?",
|
||||||
|
(total_cost, llm["cost"], tts["cost"], llm["calls"], tts["calls"], total_tokens, llm["pt"], llm["ct"], session_id),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
db.commit()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _period_filter(period):
|
||||||
|
now = datetime.now()
|
||||||
|
if period == "today":
|
||||||
|
start = now.replace(hour=0, minute=0, second=0, microsecond=0)
|
||||||
|
elif period == "week":
|
||||||
|
start = now - timedelta(days=now.weekday())
|
||||||
|
start = start.replace(hour=0, minute=0, second=0, microsecond=0)
|
||||||
|
elif period == "month":
|
||||||
|
start = now.replace(day=1, hour=0, minute=0, second=0, microsecond=0)
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
return start.isoformat()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_summary(period="all"):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
start = _period_filter(period)
|
||||||
|
if start:
|
||||||
|
where = "WHERE started_at >= ?"
|
||||||
|
params = (start,)
|
||||||
|
prev_start = _get_previous_period_start(period)
|
||||||
|
prev_where = "WHERE started_at >= ? AND started_at < ?"
|
||||||
|
prev_params = (prev_start, start)
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
where = ""
|
||||||
|
params = ()
|
||||||
|
prev_where = None
|
||||||
|
prev_params = ()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
row = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
f"SELECT COUNT(*) as sessions, COALESCE(SUM(total_cost), 0) as total_cost, COALESCE(SUM(llm_cost), 0) as llm_cost, COALESCE(SUM(tts_cost), 0) as tts_cost, COALESCE(SUM(total_llm_calls), 0) as total_calls, COALESCE(SUM(total_tokens), 0) as total_tokens FROM sessions {where}",
|
||||||
|
params,
|
||||||
|
).fetchone()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
result = {
|
||||||
|
"total_cost": round(row["total_cost"], 4),
|
||||||
|
"llm_cost": round(row["llm_cost"], 4),
|
||||||
|
"tts_cost": round(row["tts_cost"], 4),
|
||||||
|
"sessions": row["sessions"],
|
||||||
|
"total_calls": row["total_calls"],
|
||||||
|
"total_tokens": row["total_tokens"],
|
||||||
|
"avg_cost_per_session": round(row["total_cost"] / max(row["sessions"], 1), 4),
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if prev_where:
|
||||||
|
prev = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
f"SELECT COALESCE(SUM(total_cost), 0) as total_cost FROM sessions {prev_where}",
|
||||||
|
prev_params,
|
||||||
|
).fetchone()
|
||||||
|
prev_cost = prev["total_cost"]
|
||||||
|
if prev_cost > 0:
|
||||||
|
result["pct_change"] = round((row["total_cost"] - prev_cost) / prev_cost * 100, 1)
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
result["pct_change"] = None
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
result["pct_change"] = None
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
return result
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _get_previous_period_start(period):
|
||||||
|
now = datetime.now()
|
||||||
|
if period == "today":
|
||||||
|
return (now - timedelta(days=1)).replace(hour=0, minute=0, second=0, microsecond=0).isoformat()
|
||||||
|
elif period == "week":
|
||||||
|
start_of_week = now - timedelta(days=now.weekday())
|
||||||
|
return (start_of_week - timedelta(days=7)).replace(hour=0, minute=0, second=0, microsecond=0).isoformat()
|
||||||
|
elif period == "month":
|
||||||
|
first_of_month = now.replace(day=1)
|
||||||
|
prev_month = first_of_month - timedelta(days=1)
|
||||||
|
return prev_month.replace(day=1, hour=0, minute=0, second=0, microsecond=0).isoformat()
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_timeline(period="all", group_by="session"):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
start = _period_filter(period)
|
||||||
|
if group_by == "day":
|
||||||
|
if start:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT DATE(started_at) as date, SUM(llm_cost) as llm_cost, SUM(tts_cost) as tts_cost, SUM(total_cost) as total_cost, COUNT(*) as sessions FROM sessions WHERE started_at >= ? GROUP BY DATE(started_at) ORDER BY date",
|
||||||
|
(start,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT DATE(started_at) as date, SUM(llm_cost) as llm_cost, SUM(tts_cost) as tts_cost, SUM(total_cost) as total_cost, COUNT(*) as sessions FROM sessions GROUP BY DATE(started_at) ORDER BY date"
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
if start:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT id, started_at, llm_cost, tts_cost, total_cost FROM sessions WHERE started_at >= ? ORDER BY started_at",
|
||||||
|
(start,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT id, started_at, llm_cost, tts_cost, total_cost FROM sessions ORDER BY started_at"
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
return [dict(r) for r in rows]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_models(period="all"):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
start = _period_filter(period)
|
||||||
|
if start:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT l.model, COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(l.cost), 0) as cost, COALESCE(SUM(l.prompt_tokens), 0) as prompt_tokens, COALESCE(SUM(l.completion_tokens), 0) as completion_tokens FROM llm_calls l JOIN sessions s ON l.session_id = s.id WHERE s.started_at >= ? GROUP BY l.model ORDER BY cost DESC",
|
||||||
|
(start,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT model, COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(cost), 0) as cost, COALESCE(SUM(prompt_tokens), 0) as prompt_tokens, COALESCE(SUM(completion_tokens), 0) as completion_tokens FROM llm_calls GROUP BY model ORDER BY cost DESC"
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
return [dict(r) for r in rows]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_categories(period="all"):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
start = _period_filter(period)
|
||||||
|
if start:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT l.category, COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(l.cost), 0) as cost, COALESCE(SUM(l.prompt_tokens + l.completion_tokens), 0) as tokens FROM llm_calls l JOIN sessions s ON l.session_id = s.id WHERE s.started_at >= ? GROUP BY l.category ORDER BY cost DESC",
|
||||||
|
(start,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT category, COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(cost), 0) as cost, COALESCE(SUM(prompt_tokens + completion_tokens), 0) as tokens FROM llm_calls GROUP BY category ORDER BY cost DESC"
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
return [dict(r) for r in rows]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_sessions_list(period="all"):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
start = _period_filter(period)
|
||||||
|
if start:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT id, started_at, total_cost, llm_cost, tts_cost, total_llm_calls, total_tokens FROM sessions WHERE started_at >= ? ORDER BY started_at DESC",
|
||||||
|
(start,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT id, started_at, total_cost, llm_cost, tts_cost, total_llm_calls, total_tokens FROM sessions ORDER BY started_at DESC"
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
return [dict(r) for r in rows]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_session_detail(session_id):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
session = db.execute("SELECT * FROM sessions WHERE id = ?", (session_id,)).fetchone()
|
||||||
|
if not session:
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
by_caller = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT caller_name, COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(cost), 0) as cost, COALESCE(SUM(prompt_tokens + completion_tokens), 0) as tokens FROM llm_calls WHERE session_id = ? AND caller_name != '' GROUP BY caller_name ORDER BY cost DESC",
|
||||||
|
(session_id,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
by_model = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT model, COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(cost), 0) as cost FROM llm_calls WHERE session_id = ? GROUP BY model ORDER BY cost DESC",
|
||||||
|
(session_id,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
by_category = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT category, COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(cost), 0) as cost FROM llm_calls WHERE session_id = ? GROUP BY category ORDER BY cost DESC",
|
||||||
|
(session_id,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
expensive = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT category, model, caller_name, cost, prompt_tokens, completion_tokens, latency_ms, timestamp FROM llm_calls WHERE session_id = ? ORDER BY cost DESC LIMIT 10",
|
||||||
|
(session_id,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
tts = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT provider, COUNT(*) as calls, COALESCE(SUM(cost), 0) as cost, COALESCE(SUM(char_count), 0) as chars FROM tts_calls WHERE session_id = ? GROUP BY provider ORDER BY cost DESC",
|
||||||
|
(session_id,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
return {
|
||||||
|
"session": dict(session),
|
||||||
|
"by_caller": [dict(r) for r in by_caller],
|
||||||
|
"by_model": [dict(r) for r in by_model],
|
||||||
|
"by_category": [dict(r) for r in by_category],
|
||||||
|
"expensive_calls": [dict(r) for r in expensive],
|
||||||
|
"tts_by_provider": [dict(r) for r in tts],
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_expensive_calls(period="all", limit=10):
|
||||||
|
db = get_db()
|
||||||
|
start = _period_filter(period)
|
||||||
|
if start:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT l.category, l.model, l.caller_name, l.cost, l.prompt_tokens, l.completion_tokens, l.latency_ms, l.timestamp, l.session_id FROM llm_calls l JOIN sessions s ON l.session_id = s.id WHERE s.started_at >= ? ORDER BY l.cost DESC LIMIT ?",
|
||||||
|
(start, limit),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
rows = db.execute(
|
||||||
|
"SELECT category, model, caller_name, cost, prompt_tokens, completion_tokens, latency_ms, timestamp, session_id FROM llm_calls ORDER BY cost DESC LIMIT ?",
|
||||||
|
(limit,),
|
||||||
|
).fetchall()
|
||||||
|
return [dict(r) for r in rows]
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Verify the module loads**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Run: `cd /Users/lukemacneil/code/ai-podcast && python -c "from backend.services.cost_db import get_db; db = get_db(); print('OK, sessions:', db.execute('SELECT COUNT(*) FROM sessions').fetchone()[0])"`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Expected: `OK, sessions: 18` (or however many JSON reports exist)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add backend/services/cost_db.py
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add SQLite cost database module with JSON import"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 2: Integrate SQLite Writes into Cost Tracker
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/services/cost_tracker.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add dual-write to `record_llm_call`**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
At the top of `cost_tracker.py`, add the import:
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
from backend.services import cost_db
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `record_llm_call()` (around line 148, after appending to `self.llm_records`), add:
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
cost_db.ensure_session(self._session_id)
|
||||||
|
cost_db.record_llm_call(
|
||||||
|
self._session_id, record.timestamp, record.category, record.model,
|
||||||
|
record.prompt_tokens, record.completion_tokens, record.cost_usd,
|
||||||
|
record.caller_name, record.latency_ms,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
except Exception:
|
||||||
|
pass # don't break show over analytics
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Add dual-write to `record_tts_call`**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In `record_tts_call()` (around line 166, after appending to `self.tts_records`), add:
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
cost_db.record_tts_call(
|
||||||
|
self._session_id, record.timestamp, record.provider, record.voice,
|
||||||
|
record.char_count, record.cost_usd,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
except Exception:
|
||||||
|
pass
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Add session_id tracking to `__init__`**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Add `self._session_id` to the constructor. Generate it from timestamp:
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
self._session_id = f"session-{datetime.now().strftime('%Y-%m-%d_%H%M%S')}"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Update session totals on `save()`**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In the `save()` method, after writing the JSON file, add:
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
cost_db.update_session_totals(self._session_id)
|
||||||
|
except Exception:
|
||||||
|
pass
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 5: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add backend/services/cost_tracker.py
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Dual-write cost records to SQLite"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 3: API Endpoints
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `backend/main.py` (add routes near existing `/api/costs` endpoints around line 10299)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Add new cost dashboard endpoints**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Add these routes near the existing cost endpoints (around line 10308):
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
from backend.services import cost_db
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@app.get("/api/costs/summary")
|
||||||
|
async def get_cost_summary(period: str = "all"):
|
||||||
|
return cost_db.get_summary(period)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@app.get("/api/costs/timeline")
|
||||||
|
async def get_cost_timeline(period: str = "all", group_by: str = "session"):
|
||||||
|
return cost_db.get_timeline(period, group_by)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@app.get("/api/costs/models")
|
||||||
|
async def get_cost_models(period: str = "all"):
|
||||||
|
return cost_db.get_models(period)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@app.get("/api/costs/categories")
|
||||||
|
async def get_cost_categories(period: str = "all"):
|
||||||
|
return cost_db.get_categories(period)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@app.get("/api/costs/sessions")
|
||||||
|
async def get_cost_sessions(period: str = "all"):
|
||||||
|
return cost_db.get_sessions_list(period)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@app.get("/api/costs/session/{session_id}")
|
||||||
|
async def get_cost_session_detail(session_id: str):
|
||||||
|
detail = cost_db.get_session_detail(session_id)
|
||||||
|
if not detail:
|
||||||
|
from fastapi.responses import JSONResponse
|
||||||
|
return JSONResponse(status_code=404, content={"error": "Session not found"})
|
||||||
|
return detail
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@app.get("/api/costs/expensive")
|
||||||
|
async def get_expensive_calls(period: str = "all", limit: int = 10):
|
||||||
|
return cost_db.get_expensive_calls(period, limit)
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Add route to serve the costs page**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Near the existing root route (around line 7654), add:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
@app.get("/costs")
|
||||||
|
async def costs_page():
|
||||||
|
return FileResponse(frontend_dir / "costs.html")
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Verify endpoints respond**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Run the server: `python -m uvicorn backend.main:app --reload --reload-dir backend --host 0.0.0.0 --port 8000`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Test: `curl -s http://localhost:8000/api/costs/summary?period=all | python -m json.tool`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Expected: JSON with total_cost, llm_cost, tts_cost, sessions, etc.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add backend/main.py
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add cost dashboard API endpoints"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 4: Dashboard HTML
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `frontend/costs.html`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Create the dashboard page**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Create `frontend/costs.html` — standalone HTML page with:
|
||||||
|
- Chart.js from CDN (`https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/chart.js`)
|
||||||
|
- Link to `css/style.css` (shared theme) and `css/costs.css` (dashboard-specific)
|
||||||
|
- Script tag for `js/costs.js`
|
||||||
|
- Structure: header with time range tabs, 4 summary cards, 4 chart containers, 2 tables
|
||||||
|
- Use the same CSS variables as the control panel (`--bg`, `--bg-light`, `--accent`, `--text`, etc.)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Layout structure:
|
||||||
|
```html
|
||||||
|
<!DOCTYPE html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="UTF-8">
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
|
||||||
|
<title>Cost Dashboard - Luke at the Roost</title>
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/style.css">
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/costs.css">
|
||||||
|
<script src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/chart.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
<header class="costs-header">
|
||||||
|
<h1>Cost Dashboard</h1>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/" class="back-link">Back to Show</a>
|
||||||
|
<nav class="period-tabs">
|
||||||
|
<button class="period-tab active" data-period="all">All Time</button>
|
||||||
|
<button class="period-tab" data-period="month">This Month</button>
|
||||||
|
<button class="period-tab" data-period="week">This Week</button>
|
||||||
|
<button class="period-tab" data-period="today">Today</button>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
</header>
|
||||||
|
<main class="costs-main">
|
||||||
|
<section class="summary-cards">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card" id="card-total">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card-label">Total Spend</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card-value" id="total-spend">--</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card-change" id="total-change"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card" id="card-llm-tts">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card-label">LLM / TTS</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card-value" id="llm-tts-split">--</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card" id="card-sessions">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card-label">Sessions</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card-value" id="session-count">--</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card" id="card-avg">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card-label">Avg / Session</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card-value" id="avg-cost">--</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
<section class="chart-row">
|
||||||
|
<div class="chart-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>Cost Over Time</h3>
|
||||||
|
<canvas id="timeline-chart"></canvas>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="chart-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>Cost by Model</h3>
|
||||||
|
<canvas id="model-chart"></canvas>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
<section class="chart-row">
|
||||||
|
<div class="chart-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>Cost by Category</h3>
|
||||||
|
<canvas id="category-chart"></canvas>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="chart-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>Cost Per Session</h3>
|
||||||
|
<canvas id="session-chart"></canvas>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
<section class="tables-section">
|
||||||
|
<div class="table-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>Most Expensive Calls</h3>
|
||||||
|
<table id="expensive-table">
|
||||||
|
<thead>
|
||||||
|
<tr><th>Model</th><th>Category</th><th>Caller</th><th>Tokens</th><th>Cost</th><th>Latency</th></tr>
|
||||||
|
</thead>
|
||||||
|
<tbody></tbody>
|
||||||
|
</table>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="table-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>Sessions</h3>
|
||||||
|
<table id="sessions-table">
|
||||||
|
<thead>
|
||||||
|
<tr><th>Date</th><th>LLM</th><th>TTS</th><th>Total</th><th>Calls</th><th></th></tr>
|
||||||
|
</thead>
|
||||||
|
<tbody></tbody>
|
||||||
|
</table>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
<section class="session-detail hidden" id="session-detail">
|
||||||
|
<h2>Session Detail: <span id="detail-session-id"></span></h2>
|
||||||
|
<button class="close-detail" id="close-detail">Back</button>
|
||||||
|
<div class="detail-grid">
|
||||||
|
<div class="table-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>By Caller</h3>
|
||||||
|
<table id="detail-caller-table">
|
||||||
|
<thead><tr><th>Caller</th><th>Calls</th><th>Cost</th></tr></thead>
|
||||||
|
<tbody></tbody>
|
||||||
|
</table>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="table-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>By Category</h3>
|
||||||
|
<table id="detail-category-table">
|
||||||
|
<thead><tr><th>Category</th><th>Calls</th><th>Cost</th></tr></thead>
|
||||||
|
<tbody></tbody>
|
||||||
|
</table>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="table-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>By Model</h3>
|
||||||
|
<table id="detail-model-table">
|
||||||
|
<thead><tr><th>Model</th><th>Calls</th><th>Cost</th></tr></thead>
|
||||||
|
<tbody></tbody>
|
||||||
|
</table>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="table-container">
|
||||||
|
<h3>Most Expensive Calls</h3>
|
||||||
|
<table id="detail-expensive-table">
|
||||||
|
<thead><tr><th>Category</th><th>Model</th><th>Caller</th><th>Cost</th><th>Tokens</th><th>Latency</th></tr></thead>
|
||||||
|
<tbody></tbody>
|
||||||
|
</table>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
</main>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/js/costs.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add frontend/costs.html
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add cost dashboard HTML page"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 5: Dashboard CSS
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `frontend/css/costs.css`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Create dashboard-specific styles**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Create `frontend/css/costs.css` using the existing CSS variables from `style.css`. Key styles:
|
||||||
|
- `.costs-header` — flex row with title, back link, and period tabs
|
||||||
|
- `.period-tabs` / `.period-tab` — tab buttons, active state uses `--accent`
|
||||||
|
- `.summary-cards` — 4-column grid
|
||||||
|
- `.card` — `background: var(--bg-light)`, border, rounded corners matching `--radius`
|
||||||
|
- `.card-value` — large font, `color: var(--text)`
|
||||||
|
- `.card-change` — small text, green for negative (saving), red for positive (increase)
|
||||||
|
- `.chart-row` — 2-column grid
|
||||||
|
- `.chart-container` — padded card with canvas
|
||||||
|
- `.table-container` — styled tables matching dark theme
|
||||||
|
- `.session-detail` — full-width detail view
|
||||||
|
- Responsive: single column below 768px
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Use `var(--bg)`, `var(--bg-light)`, `var(--accent)`, `var(--text)`, `var(--text-muted)`, `var(--radius)`, `var(--radius-sm)`, `var(--transition)` throughout.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add frontend/css/costs.css
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add cost dashboard CSS"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 6: Dashboard JavaScript
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `frontend/js/costs.js`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Create the dashboard JS**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Create `frontend/js/costs.js` with:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**State:**
|
||||||
|
```javascript
|
||||||
|
let currentPeriod = 'all';
|
||||||
|
let charts = {}; // store Chart.js instances for destroy/recreate
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Init:**
|
||||||
|
```javascript
|
||||||
|
document.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', () => {
|
||||||
|
document.querySelectorAll('.period-tab').forEach(tab => {
|
||||||
|
tab.addEventListener('click', () => {
|
||||||
|
document.querySelector('.period-tab.active').classList.remove('active');
|
||||||
|
tab.classList.add('active');
|
||||||
|
currentPeriod = tab.dataset.period;
|
||||||
|
loadDashboard();
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
document.getElementById('close-detail').addEventListener('click', closeDetail);
|
||||||
|
loadDashboard();
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Data loading — `loadDashboard()`:**
|
||||||
|
- Fetch all endpoints in parallel: summary, timeline, models, categories, sessions, expensive
|
||||||
|
- Call render functions for each section
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Render functions:**
|
||||||
|
- `renderSummary(data)` — populate the 4 summary cards, format as `$X.XX`, show % change with color
|
||||||
|
- `renderTimeline(data)` — Chart.js line chart with LLM and TTS as separate datasets, `--accent` and `--devon` colors
|
||||||
|
- `renderModels(data)` — Chart.js doughnut chart with model name labels
|
||||||
|
- `renderCategories(data)` — Chart.js horizontal bar chart
|
||||||
|
- `renderSessionBars(data)` — Chart.js bar chart, bars colored based on above/below average
|
||||||
|
- `renderExpensiveTable(data)` — populate table rows
|
||||||
|
- `renderSessionsTable(data)` — populate table rows with click handler to show detail
|
||||||
|
- `showSessionDetail(sessionId)` — fetch `/api/costs/session/{id}`, show detail section, populate tables
|
||||||
|
- `closeDetail()` — hide detail section
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Chart.js config notes:**
|
||||||
|
- Use dark theme: grid lines `rgba(245, 240, 229, 0.1)` (--text at 10%), tick color `var(--text-muted)`
|
||||||
|
- Chart colors palette: `#e8791d` (accent), `#c4944a` (devon), `#5a8a3c` (green), `#cc2222` (red), `#4a8ac4` (blue), `#8a5ac4` (purple), `#c4845a` (tan)
|
||||||
|
- Tooltips: dark background, light text
|
||||||
|
- Destroy existing chart instance before creating new one (prevents memory leaks on period switch)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Utility:**
|
||||||
|
- `formatCost(n)` — returns `$X.XX` or `$X.XXXX` for small amounts
|
||||||
|
- `formatDate(iso)` — returns readable date
|
||||||
|
- `shortenModel(name)` — strip provider prefix from model names for chart labels
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add frontend/js/costs.js
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add cost dashboard JavaScript with Chart.js"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Task 7: Integration Test
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Manual verification checklist**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Start the server and navigate to `http://localhost:8000/costs`:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
1. Page loads with dark theme, no console errors
|
||||||
|
2. All Time tab is active by default, shows all 18 sessions
|
||||||
|
3. Summary cards show total spend, LLM/TTS split, session count, avg cost
|
||||||
|
4. Cost Over Time line chart renders with data points
|
||||||
|
5. Cost by Model doughnut shows model breakdown
|
||||||
|
6. Cost by Category bar chart shows category breakdown
|
||||||
|
7. Cost Per Session bars render with above/below-average coloring
|
||||||
|
8. Most Expensive Calls table populated
|
||||||
|
9. Sessions table populated, rows clickable
|
||||||
|
10. Click a session row → detail view shows with per-caller, per-model, per-category tables
|
||||||
|
11. Click "Back" → returns to main dashboard
|
||||||
|
12. Switch to "This Week" tab → all charts update (may show fewer/no data)
|
||||||
|
13. Switch to "This Month" → charts update with March data
|
||||||
|
14. Switch back to "All Time" → full data restored
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Commit all remaining changes**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add -A
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Cost dashboard complete — SQLite backend, Chart.js frontend"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## File Summary
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
| Action | File |
|
||||||
|
|--------|------|
|
||||||
|
| Create | `backend/services/cost_db.py` |
|
||||||
|
| Modify | `backend/services/cost_tracker.py` |
|
||||||
|
| Modify | `backend/main.py` |
|
||||||
|
| Create | `frontend/costs.html` |
|
||||||
|
| Create | `frontend/css/costs.css` |
|
||||||
|
| Create | `frontend/js/costs.js` |
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Dependencies
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- Chart.js loaded from CDN (no npm install needed)
|
||||||
|
- SQLite is stdlib (no pip install needed)
|
||||||
|
- No new Python packages required
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,78 @@
|
|||||||
|
# Relocate the Show to Alpine, TX / Big Bend
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Date:** 2026-05-31
|
||||||
|
**Status:** Approved, implementing
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Goal
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Luke moved to Alpine, Texas. Move the show's world from southern New Mexico
|
||||||
|
(Deming/Lordsburg) to the Big Bend region of far West Texas. Callers should come
|
||||||
|
from and be familiar with Alpine, Marfa, Marathon, Terlingua, Fort Stockton, and
|
||||||
|
the Big Bend area. Devon moves with the show. Silas gets an arc beat that
|
||||||
|
relocates The Wellspring to Terlingua.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Changes
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### 1. Caller generation — `backend/services/caller_gen.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- `BATCH_SYSTEM_PROMPT` opener: "…radio show in New Mexico" → "…in Alpine, Texas,
|
||||||
|
in the Big Bend country of far West Texas."
|
||||||
|
- Add a **geographic knowledge block** (real, accurate facts) so callers ground
|
||||||
|
themselves in real places instead of generic desert. Towns:
|
||||||
|
- **Alpine** — hub (~6k), Brewster County seat, Sul Ross State University,
|
||||||
|
mile-high ranching/railroad town, small arts scene.
|
||||||
|
- **Marfa** — minimalist-art tourist town (Chinati/Donald Judd, Prada Marfa),
|
||||||
|
the Marfa Lights, old ranching families vs. hipster influx.
|
||||||
|
- **Marathon** — tiny, the Gage Hotel, east gateway to Big Bend NP.
|
||||||
|
- **Terlingua** — quicksilver-mining ghost town, famous chili cookoff,
|
||||||
|
river-rafting outfitters, off-grid desert eccentrics, the Starlight Theatre,
|
||||||
|
near the Rio Grande / Mexico border.
|
||||||
|
- **Fort Stockton** — oilfield/I-10 town to the north, Pecos County, Paisano
|
||||||
|
Pete, working-class.
|
||||||
|
- **Big Bend** — Chisos Mountains, Rio Grande, dark skies (McDonald Observatory
|
||||||
|
near Fort Davis), remote, border proximity, Permian Basin oil money north.
|
||||||
|
- Rule: only reference real places/facts; don't invent businesses or landmarks.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### 2. Whisper prompt — `backend/services/transcription.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Update locale and seed proper nouns: "…a late-night radio talk show in Alpine,
|
||||||
|
Texas, in the Big Bend region. Callers reference Alpine, Marfa, Marathon,
|
||||||
|
Terlingua, Fort Stockton, and Big Bend."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### 3. Devon — `backend/services/intern.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Moved with the show. Keep "Communications degree from NMSU" (alma mater);
|
||||||
|
"You live in a studio in Deming" → "studio in Alpine."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### 4. Silas — relocate The Wellspring to Terlingua
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- `~/code/dotfiles/silas/silas.md`: identity location Deming → Terlingua badlands;
|
||||||
|
update `arc_state` frontmatter to the relocation; add an Arc Log entry
|
||||||
|
(2026-05-31) — post-reckoning fresh start, moving the commune to desert outside
|
||||||
|
Terlingua, the move straining the forty members.
|
||||||
|
- `data/regulars.json`: update Silas's `job`, `location`, and the
|
||||||
|
`stable_seeds.style` "commune outside Deming" → Terlingua. Leave the 6 past
|
||||||
|
`call_history` summaries untouched — they happened in Deming; the move is the
|
||||||
|
new development.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### 5. Weather/town-news enrichment — `backend/main.py` (now a real feature)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The block in `enrich_caller_background()` called `_get_town_from_location` /
|
||||||
|
`_get_weather_for_town`, which never existed — silently NameError-ing. Implement:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- `BIG_BEND_TOWNS`: dict of town → (lat, lon) for Alpine, Marfa, Marathon,
|
||||||
|
Terlingua, Fort Stockton, Big Bend (Chisos Basin), Fort Davis, Presidio.
|
||||||
|
- `_get_town_from_location(text)`: scan lowercased text for a known town,
|
||||||
|
return canonical key (handles "ft stockton"/"fort stockton").
|
||||||
|
- `_get_weather_for_town(town)`: Open-Meteo current weather (free, no key),
|
||||||
|
WMO weather_code → phrase, returns e.g. "58°F, clear skies".
|
||||||
|
- Update town-news query: NM/AZ branch → `f"{town.title()} Texas"`.
|
||||||
|
- Wire session base_ctx `weather` (was hardcoded "cool desert night") to live
|
||||||
|
Alpine weather, graceful fallback on failure.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
All network calls degrade gracefully (existing `asyncio.timeout` + try/except).
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Out of scope / left as-is
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- Past `call_history` summaries (genuinely happened in Deming).
|
||||||
|
- `main.py:3124` state-abbreviation map (generic, not show-locale).
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,56 @@
|
|||||||
|
# Caller Variety, Movable Callers, and Devon Search Fix
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Date:** 2026-06-02
|
||||||
|
**Status:** Approved, implementing
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Problems
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
1. **Callers feel formulaic** — too many deep moral dilemmas; the roster prompt
|
||||||
|
*enforces* it ("at least half moral dilemmas" + "NEVER generate callers who
|
||||||
|
are just enthusiastic about a hobby").
|
||||||
|
2. **Callers circle forever** — they don't take advice, restating the same moral
|
||||||
|
issue until the host cuts them off. The live dialog prompt gives a `situation`
|
||||||
|
+ `secret_want` but no mechanic to be moved, persuaded, or reach resolution.
|
||||||
|
3. **Devon's search fails** — SearXNG at `localhost:8888` is unreachable whenever
|
||||||
|
the laptop's Docker Desktop isn't running. Fragile.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Changes
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### A. Roster variety — `backend/services/caller_gen.py` (`BATCH_SYSTEM_PROMPT`)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- Remove the absolute ban on hobby/job/story callers.
|
||||||
|
- Replace "at least half moral dilemmas" with an explicit distribution for a
|
||||||
|
10-caller roster (dilemmas still lead):
|
||||||
|
- **4–5** moral dilemmas / confessions / betrayals — keep the STAKES language.
|
||||||
|
- **2–3** storytellers & enthusiasts — a wild thing that happened, a fascinating
|
||||||
|
niche obsession or fact, a vivid slice-of-life. No deep dilemma required.
|
||||||
|
- **1–2** believers / chaos — earnest UFO/cryptid/conspiracy callers
|
||||||
|
(Coast-to-Coast sincerity) or a big eccentric personality on a rant.
|
||||||
|
- Keep the anti-collision rule, "reason they HAD to call tonight," and
|
||||||
|
"even lighter callers need energy and specificity."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### B. Movable callers — `backend/main.py` (`get_caller_prompt`)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Add a concise conversational-arc block for every caller:
|
||||||
|
- You have a position/want, but you're a real person — if Luke makes a good
|
||||||
|
point, genuinely react: agree, change your mind, soften, dig in, or decide.
|
||||||
|
- Don't restate a point/dilemma you've already made; the conversation must move.
|
||||||
|
You can reach a resolution, a decision, or an emotional turn. You are not
|
||||||
|
required to stay stuck.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Stacks on the existing "don't restate facts / move the story forward" rule.
|
||||||
|
Must keep `get_caller_prompt` output under the 3500-char test cap.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### C. SearXNG → NAS — `backend/config.py`, `backend/services/news.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- Deploy SearXNG to **mmgnas** as an always-on container (deploy-nas-docker).
|
||||||
|
- Add `searxng_url` to `config.py` (env-overridable), default to the NAS URL.
|
||||||
|
- `news.py` reads `settings.searxng_url` instead of the hardcoded constant;
|
||||||
|
`intern.py` imports `SEARXNG_URL` from `news.py`, so Devon, headlines, and
|
||||||
|
caller news-grounding all follow.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Verification
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- Run test suite (note: 2 pre-existing stale `test_caller_gen.py` failures).
|
||||||
|
- Live caller-gen batch → review the roster mix.
|
||||||
|
- Devon end-to-end: a `web_search` against the NAS SearXNG returns real results.
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,500 @@
|
|||||||
|
# Crawlable Episode Pages Implementation Plan
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
> **For Claude:** REQUIRED SUB-SKILL: Use superpowers:executing-plans to implement this plan task-by-task.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Goal:** Turn 57 client-rendered `?slug=` episode pages into 57 static, crawlable HTML pages at `/episode/<slug>/` containing the full transcript, so the Big Bend content the show already produces becomes indexable.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Architecture:** A build-time Python generator reads the Castopod RSS feed and the existing `website/transcripts/*.txt` files, and writes one fully static page per episode into `website/episode/<slug>/index.html`. No runtime feed dependency, no JS required to see content. The Cloudflare worker gains a 301 from the legacy `?slug=` URL, and loses its user-agent gate. `publish_episode.py` calls the generator so new episodes get a page automatically.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Tech Stack:** Python 3.11 (stdlib `xml.etree`, `html`, `json`, `pathlib`), pytest, Cloudflare Pages + `_worker.js`, wrangler.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Why This Matters (context for the implementer)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Current state, verified 2026-08-14:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- `website/episode.html` is a JS shell. It has **zero** server-rendered episode content — it fetches `/feed`, finds the matching `<item>` client-side, then fetches `/transcripts/<slug>.txt`.
|
||||||
|
- URLs are query params: `/episode.html?slug=episode-58-...`. 54 of the 64 sitemap entries are this shape.
|
||||||
|
- `website/transcripts/` holds **58 `.txt` files, 3.0 MB total**, none of which appear in `sitemap.xml` and which are linked only from JavaScript.
|
||||||
|
- `_worker.js:107-165` injects real `<title>`/OG tags — but **only when the User-Agent matches `facebookexternalhit|twitterbot|linkedinbot|slackbot|discordbot|telegrambot|whatsapp|pinterest|redditbot`**. Googlebot, Bingbot, GPTBot, ClaudeBot and PerplexityBot are all absent, so search and answer engines get the generic shell.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
That UA gate is also a **cloaking risk**: serving different HTML to crawlers than to users is against Google's guidelines. Google deprecated "dynamic rendering" as a workaround. Task 6 removes the gate rather than extending it — once pages are static, nothing needs UA sniffing.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Data facts confirmed before writing this plan
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- RSS feed: `https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml`, HTTP 200, 124 KB, **57 `<item>` elements**.
|
||||||
|
- Each item has: `<title>`, `<link>`, `<pubDate>`, `<guid>`, `<description>` (CDATA-wrapped HTML), `<enclosure url=...>`, `<itunes:duration>` (seconds, e.g. `4770`), `<itunes:episode>` (e.g. `58`).
|
||||||
|
- Slug is derived from `<link>`: everything after `/episodes/`, trailing slash stripped.
|
||||||
|
- **All 57 feed episodes have a matching transcript file.** Zero missing.
|
||||||
|
- One orphan transcript, `episode-32-tacos-taxes-and-tall-tales.txt`, has no feed item — ep 32 never finished publishing (`data/publish_state.json` shows a castopod step and nothing else). **The generator must skip orphans, not crash on them.**
|
||||||
|
- Transcript format is plain text, blank-line separated, `SPEAKER: text` per paragraph — e.g. `LUKE: Alright, welcome back...` / `SLIM: Hey Luke, yeah thanks...`.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 1: Transcript parser
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `website_gen/transcript.py`
|
||||||
|
- Test: `tests/test_transcript_parser.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Write the failing test**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
import sys
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
sys.path.insert(0, str(Path(__file__).resolve().parent.parent))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.transcript import parse_transcript
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_splits_speaker_turns():
|
||||||
|
raw = "LUKE: Welcome back.\n\nSLIM: Hey Luke, thanks for taking my call."
|
||||||
|
turns = parse_transcript(raw)
|
||||||
|
assert turns == [("LUKE", "Welcome back."),
|
||||||
|
("SLIM", "Hey Luke, thanks for taking my call.")]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_unlabeled_paragraph_carries_previous_speaker():
|
||||||
|
raw = "LUKE: First thing.\n\nStill Luke talking."
|
||||||
|
assert parse_transcript(raw) == [("LUKE", "First thing."),
|
||||||
|
("LUKE", "Still Luke talking.")]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_ignores_blank_and_whitespace_paragraphs():
|
||||||
|
raw = "LUKE: One.\n\n \n\nSLIM: Two."
|
||||||
|
assert len(parse_transcript(raw)) == 2
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_speaker_name_with_spaces_is_not_treated_as_label():
|
||||||
|
"""A colon mid-sentence must not be mistaken for a speaker label."""
|
||||||
|
raw = "LUKE: Here's the thing: it was the alternator."
|
||||||
|
turns = parse_transcript(raw)
|
||||||
|
assert len(turns) == 1
|
||||||
|
assert turns[0][0] == "LUKE"
|
||||||
|
assert "the thing: it was" in turns[0][1]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_empty_input_returns_empty_list():
|
||||||
|
assert parse_transcript("") == []
|
||||||
|
assert parse_transcript(" \n\n ") == []
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Run test to verify it fails**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Run: `./venv/bin/python -m pytest tests/test_transcript_parser.py -v`
|
||||||
|
Expected: FAIL — `ModuleNotFoundError: No module named 'website_gen'`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Write minimal implementation**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
import re
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
SPEAKER_RE = re.compile(r"^([A-Z][A-Z0-9 .'-]{0,30}):\s*(.*)$", re.DOTALL)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def parse_transcript(raw: str) -> list[tuple[str, str]]:
|
||||||
|
"""Split a transcript into (speaker, text) turns.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Paragraphs are blank-line separated. A paragraph that does not open with a
|
||||||
|
SPEAKER: label is attributed to whoever spoke last, which is how the
|
||||||
|
transcriber emits long turns that wrap.
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
turns: list[tuple[str, str]] = []
|
||||||
|
current = None
|
||||||
|
for para in re.split(r"\n\s*\n", raw or ""):
|
||||||
|
para = para.strip()
|
||||||
|
if not para:
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
m = SPEAKER_RE.match(para)
|
||||||
|
if m:
|
||||||
|
current = m.group(1).strip()
|
||||||
|
text = m.group(2).strip()
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
text = para
|
||||||
|
if current is None:
|
||||||
|
current = "LUKE"
|
||||||
|
if text:
|
||||||
|
turns.append((current, text))
|
||||||
|
return turns
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Run test to verify it passes**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Run: `./venv/bin/python -m pytest tests/test_transcript_parser.py -v`
|
||||||
|
Expected: PASS, 5 tests
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 5: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git add website_gen/transcript.py tests/test_transcript_parser.py
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add transcript parser for episode page generation"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 2: RSS feed loader
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `website_gen/feed.py`
|
||||||
|
- Test: `tests/test_feed_loader.py`
|
||||||
|
- Fixture: `tests/fixtures/feed_sample.xml` (hand-trim two `<item>` blocks out of the live feed)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Write the failing test**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.feed import parse_feed, Episode
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_parses_core_fields(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
eps = parse_feed(feed_xml)
|
||||||
|
ep = next(e for e in eps if e.number == 58)
|
||||||
|
assert ep.slug == "episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho"
|
||||||
|
assert ep.title.startswith("Episode 58: Rayfield's Nephew")
|
||||||
|
assert ep.duration_seconds == 4770
|
||||||
|
assert ep.audio_url.startswith("https://")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_description_is_stripped_of_cdata_and_html(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
ep = parse_feed(feed_xml)[0]
|
||||||
|
assert "<![CDATA[" not in ep.description
|
||||||
|
assert "<p>" not in ep.description
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_slug_comes_from_link_and_drops_trailing_slash(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
for ep in parse_feed(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
assert not ep.slug.endswith("/")
|
||||||
|
assert "/" not in ep.slug
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_pubdate_parses_to_iso_date(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
ep = next(e for e in parse_feed(feed_xml) if e.number == 58)
|
||||||
|
assert ep.published_iso.startswith("2026-08-04")
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 2: Run to verify it fails**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Run: `./venv/bin/python -m pytest tests/test_feed_loader.py -v`
|
||||||
|
Expected: FAIL — module missing
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Implement**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Use `xml.etree.ElementTree` with the itunes namespace `http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd`. Dataclass:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
@dataclass
|
||||||
|
class Episode:
|
||||||
|
number: int | None
|
||||||
|
slug: str
|
||||||
|
title: str
|
||||||
|
description: str
|
||||||
|
published_iso: str
|
||||||
|
duration_seconds: int | None
|
||||||
|
audio_url: str
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Parse `pubDate` with `email.utils.parsedate_to_datetime`. Strip CDATA and tags from `<description>` with a regex, then `html.unescape`.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 4: Verify passes.** **Step 5: Commit.**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add RSS feed loader for episode page generation"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 3: Page renderer
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `website_gen/render.py`, `website_gen/templates/episode.html`
|
||||||
|
- Test: `tests/test_episode_render.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The template is a full standalone page matching the existing site chrome (copy the `<nav>`, footer markup and `css/style.css?v=6` link from `website/how-it-works.html` so it looks native).
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Write the failing test**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
import json, re
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.render import render_episode_page
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_title_and_canonical_are_episode_specific(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "Hello.")])
|
||||||
|
assert "<title>Episode 58: Rayfield" in html
|
||||||
|
assert '<link rel="canonical" href="https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/episode-58-' in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_transcript_is_in_the_html_not_fetched_by_js(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "The Marfa Lights are real.")])
|
||||||
|
assert "The Marfa Lights are real." in html
|
||||||
|
assert "fetch(" not in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_emits_valid_podcastepisode_schema(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "Hi.")])
|
||||||
|
block = re.search(r'<script type="application/ld\+json">(.*?)</script>', html, re.S).group(1)
|
||||||
|
data = json.loads(block)
|
||||||
|
types = {o["@type"] for o in (data if isinstance(data, list) else [data])}
|
||||||
|
assert "PodcastEpisode" in types
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_escapes_html_in_transcript_text(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "5 < 6 & <script>alert(1)</script>")])
|
||||||
|
assert "<script>alert(1)</script>" not in html
|
||||||
|
assert "<script>" in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_escapes_quotes_in_title_meta(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
sample_episode.title = 'Episode 1: The "Best" Show'
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[])
|
||||||
|
assert 'content="Episode 1: The "Best"' not in html # must be escaped
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_speaker_labels_get_semantic_markup(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "Hi."), ("SLIM", "Hey.")])
|
||||||
|
assert html.count('class="transcript-turn"') == 2
|
||||||
|
assert "LUKE" in html and "SLIM" in html
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 3: Implementation notes**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- Escape every interpolated value with `html.escape(value, quote=True)`. The transcript is user-facing text from Whisper; treat it as untrusted.
|
||||||
|
- Schema block is a JSON array containing `PodcastEpisode` and `BreadcrumbList`:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"@context": "https://schema.org",
|
||||||
|
"@type": "PodcastEpisode",
|
||||||
|
"url": f"https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/{ep.slug}/",
|
||||||
|
"name": ep.title,
|
||||||
|
"description": ep.description,
|
||||||
|
"datePublished": ep.published_iso,
|
||||||
|
"timeRequired": f"PT{ep.duration_seconds}S",
|
||||||
|
"associatedMedia": {"@type": "MediaObject", "contentUrl": ep.audio_url},
|
||||||
|
"partOfSeries": {
|
||||||
|
"@type": "PodcastSeries",
|
||||||
|
"name": "Luke at the Roost",
|
||||||
|
"url": "https://lukeattheroost.com",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"contentLocation": {
|
||||||
|
"@type": "Place",
|
||||||
|
"name": "Big Bend, West Texas",
|
||||||
|
"address": {"@type": "PostalAddress", "addressLocality": "Alpine",
|
||||||
|
"addressRegion": "TX", "addressCountry": "US"},
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The `contentLocation` on every episode is the point of the whole exercise — it is what ties 57 pages of West Texas conversation to the region geographically.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- Include a native `<audio controls preload="none" src="{audio_url}">` so the page is useful without JS.
|
||||||
|
- Add prev/next episode links. Internal linking is what gets 57 pages crawled instead of 3.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 5: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add episode page renderer with PodcastEpisode schema"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 4: Generator CLI
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Create: `generate_episode_pages.py` (repo root, matching the existing script convention)
|
||||||
|
- Test: `tests/test_episode_generator.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Behaviour:**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
python generate_episode_pages.py # fetch live feed, write all pages
|
||||||
|
python generate_episode_pages.py --feed FILE # use a local feed (tests, offline)
|
||||||
|
python generate_episode_pages.py --dry-run # report what would be written
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 1: Failing tests**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
def test_writes_one_index_html_per_feed_episode(tmp_path, feed_file, transcripts_dir):
|
||||||
|
n = generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, tmp_path)
|
||||||
|
assert n == 2
|
||||||
|
assert (tmp_path / "episode" / "episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho" / "index.html").exists()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_orphan_transcript_without_feed_item_is_skipped(tmp_path, feed_file, transcripts_dir):
|
||||||
|
"""episode-32 has a transcript but was never published to the feed."""
|
||||||
|
generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, tmp_path)
|
||||||
|
assert not (tmp_path / "episode" / "episode-32-tacos-taxes-and-tall-tales").exists()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_missing_transcript_still_produces_a_page(tmp_path, feed_file, transcripts_dir):
|
||||||
|
"""An episode published before its transcript lands must not break the build."""
|
||||||
|
(transcripts_dir / "episode-58-....txt").unlink()
|
||||||
|
generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, tmp_path)
|
||||||
|
html = (tmp_path / "episode" / "episode-58-..." / "index.html").read_text()
|
||||||
|
assert "Transcript not yet available" in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_dry_run_writes_nothing(tmp_path, feed_file, transcripts_dir):
|
||||||
|
generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, tmp_path, dry_run=True)
|
||||||
|
assert not (tmp_path / "episode").exists()
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Step 5: Commit**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
git commit -m "Add episode page generator CLI"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 5: Sitemap regeneration
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `generate_episode_pages.py` (add `--sitemap`)
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/sitemap.xml` (regenerated output)
|
||||||
|
- Test: `tests/test_sitemap.py`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The current sitemap has 64 `<url>` entries, 54 of them `?slug=` URLs. Those must be **replaced**, not supplemented — leaving both forms invites duplicate-content dilution even with a canonical.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Tests:**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
def test_sitemap_contains_no_query_param_urls(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
assert "episode.html?slug=" not in generated_sitemap
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_sitemap_has_one_entry_per_episode(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
assert generated_sitemap.count("<loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/") == 57
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_static_pages_survive_regeneration(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
for path in ["", "/how-it-works", "/clips", "/stats", "/privacy", "/terms", "/llms.txt"]:
|
||||||
|
assert f"<loc>https://lukeattheroost.com{path}</loc>" in generated_sitemap
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_lastmod_matches_episode_publish_date(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
assert "<lastmod>2026-08-04</lastmod>" in generated_sitemap
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Commit:** `git commit -m "Generate sitemap from feed with clean episode URLs"`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 6: Worker — 301 the old URL, remove the UA gate
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/_worker.js:107-165`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Replace the entire social-crawler injection block with a redirect. Once pages are static, the injection is dead code and the UA gate is a liability.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```javascript
|
||||||
|
// Legacy query-param episode URLs -> clean paths.
|
||||||
|
// Published social posts and YouTube descriptions still point at the old
|
||||||
|
// form, so this 301 has to stay indefinitely.
|
||||||
|
if (url.pathname === "/episode.html" && url.searchParams.get("slug")) {
|
||||||
|
const slug = url.searchParams.get("slug").replace(/[^a-z0-9-]/gi, "");
|
||||||
|
if (slug) {
|
||||||
|
return Response.redirect(`https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/${slug}/`, 301);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Why the slug is sanitised:** it lands in a `Location:` header. Stripping to `[a-z0-9-]` prevents CRLF injection and open-redirect via a crafted `?slug=`.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Verify manually after deploy:**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
curl -sI "https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho" | head -3
|
||||||
|
# Expect: HTTP/2 301 + location: https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/episode-58-.../
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Commit:** `git commit -m "Redirect legacy episode URLs and drop crawler UA gate"`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 7: Retire the client-rendered page
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Delete: `website/episode.html`, `website/js/episode.js`
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/js/app.js` — episode links must point at `/episode/<slug>/`
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `website/_redirects` — keep `/episodes.html /episode 302`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Check every internal link first:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
grep -rn "episode.html?slug=" website/ --include=*.html --include=*.js
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
All must become `/episode/<slug>/`. Also fix `publish_episode.py:1168`, which builds the `episode_url` used in social posts and YouTube descriptions:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
episode_url = f"https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/{episode_slug}/"
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Commit:** `git commit -m "Point internal links at clean episode URLs"`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 8: Wire into the publish pipeline
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Files:**
|
||||||
|
- Modify: `publish_episode.py` — after the transcript is written to `website/transcripts/`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```python
|
||||||
|
subprocess.run([sys.executable, "generate_episode_pages.py", "--sitemap"], check=False)
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
`check=False` on purpose: a generator failure must not abort a publish that has already pushed audio to Castopod. Log loudly instead.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Test:** `tests/test_publish_generates_page.py` — assert the generator is invoked with `--sitemap` after a successful publish (monkeypatch `subprocess.run`).
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Commit:** `git commit -m "Regenerate episode pages during publish"`
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Task 9: Deploy and verify
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
./venv/bin/python -m pytest tests/ -q # full suite green
|
||||||
|
python generate_episode_pages.py --sitemap # 57 pages + sitemap
|
||||||
|
npx wrangler pages deploy website/ --project-name=lukeattheroost --branch=main
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Post-deploy checks — all must pass:**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
```bash
|
||||||
|
# 1. Page is static: transcript present with JS disabled
|
||||||
|
curl -s https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/episode-58-.../ | grep -c "Mitchell Flat" # >= 1
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# 2. Real title in raw HTML, no UA spoofing
|
||||||
|
curl -s https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/episode-58-.../ | grep -o "<title>.*</title>"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# 3. Same bytes for Googlebot as for a browser (no cloaking)
|
||||||
|
diff <(curl -s -A "Mozilla/5.0" URL) <(curl -s -A "Googlebot/2.1" URL) && echo "no cloaking"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# 4. Legacy URL 301s
|
||||||
|
curl -sI "https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=episode-58-..." | grep -i "^location"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# 5. Schema validates
|
||||||
|
# paste page source into https://validator.schema.org/
|
||||||
|
```
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Then: submit the new `sitemap.xml` in Google Search Console and request indexing on three episode pages as a sample.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Risks
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
| Risk | Mitigation |
|
||||||
|
|---|---|
|
||||||
|
| URL change loses existing ranking | 301 (permanent) from Task 6 passes equity; the old form stays supported forever |
|
||||||
|
| Published YouTube/social links break | Same 301. Ep 58's YouTube description contains a `?slug=` link — verify it after deploy |
|
||||||
|
| Transcripts contain explicit content | Show is already rated explicit; consider `<meta name="rating" content="adult">` on episode pages |
|
||||||
|
| Whisper errors become permanent indexed text | Transcripts are already public at `/transcripts/*.txt`; this changes exposure, not accuracy |
|
||||||
|
| 3 MB of new HTML on every deploy | Static assets, Cloudflare-cached; wrangler uploads only changed files |
|
||||||
|
| Feed unreachable at build time | `--feed` flag lets the build use a cached copy; generator exits non-zero rather than writing empty pages |
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## Out of scope
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Tier 3 — the "Big Bend episodes" topic hub, and off-site work (Alpine Avalanche, Marfa/Big Bend groups, Sul Ross). Worth doing after these pages exist to link to.
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,192 @@
|
|||||||
|
"""Download vocal-free background music from Jamendo (CC-licensed).
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Targets late-night talk-radio vibe + hip-hop. Skips tracks shorter than 60s,
|
||||||
|
dedupes against existing files in music/, and appends CREDITS.txt entries.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Usage:
|
||||||
|
python download_music.py # 100 tracks across all buckets
|
||||||
|
python download_music.py --count 30 # smaller batch
|
||||||
|
python download_music.py --dry-run # show what would be downloaded
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import argparse
|
||||||
|
import os
|
||||||
|
import re
|
||||||
|
import sys
|
||||||
|
import time
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
from urllib.request import urlopen, Request
|
||||||
|
from urllib.parse import urlencode
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from dotenv import load_dotenv
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
load_dotenv()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
CLIENT_ID = os.getenv("JAMENDO_CLIENT_ID")
|
||||||
|
if not CLIENT_ID:
|
||||||
|
print("ERROR: JAMENDO_CLIENT_ID not set in .env", file=sys.stderr)
|
||||||
|
sys.exit(1)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
MUSIC_DIR = Path(__file__).parent / "music"
|
||||||
|
CREDITS_FILE = MUSIC_DIR / "CREDITS.txt"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# (tag_query, genre_label, target_count) — hip-hop weighted heaviest per user pref
|
||||||
|
BUCKETS = [
|
||||||
|
("hiphop+instrumental", "Hip-Hop", 40),
|
||||||
|
("jazz", "Jazz", 20),
|
||||||
|
("lofi", "Lo-Fi", 15),
|
||||||
|
("funk", "Funk", 15),
|
||||||
|
("soul", "Soul", 10),
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Filenames already on disk — skip duplicates by (artist, title) signature
|
||||||
|
def _existing_signatures() -> set[str]:
|
||||||
|
sigs = set()
|
||||||
|
for f in MUSIC_DIR.glob("*.mp3"):
|
||||||
|
# "Artist - Title [Genre].mp3" or "Artist - Title.mp3"
|
||||||
|
stem = f.stem
|
||||||
|
stem = re.sub(r"\s*\[[^\]]+\]\s*$", "", stem)
|
||||||
|
sigs.add(stem.lower().strip())
|
||||||
|
for f in MUSIC_DIR.glob("*.wav"):
|
||||||
|
sigs.add(f.stem.lower().strip())
|
||||||
|
return sigs
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _sanitize(s: str) -> str:
|
||||||
|
s = s.replace("/", "-").replace("\\", "-")
|
||||||
|
s = re.sub(r'[<>:"|?*]', "", s)
|
||||||
|
return s.strip()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _fetch_jamendo_page(tag_query: str, offset: int, limit: int = 50) -> list[dict]:
|
||||||
|
params = {
|
||||||
|
"client_id": CLIENT_ID,
|
||||||
|
"format": "json",
|
||||||
|
"limit": limit,
|
||||||
|
"offset": offset,
|
||||||
|
"vocalinstrumental": "instrumental",
|
||||||
|
"fuzzytags": tag_query,
|
||||||
|
"audioformat": "mp32",
|
||||||
|
"include": "musicinfo+licenses",
|
||||||
|
"audiodlallowed": "true",
|
||||||
|
"ccnd": "true", # allow non-derivative (we won't modify)
|
||||||
|
"order": "popularity_total",
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
url = "https://api.jamendo.com/v3.0/tracks/?" + urlencode(params)
|
||||||
|
with urlopen(Request(url, headers={"User-Agent": "ai-podcast-music-fetcher/1.0"}), timeout=30) as r:
|
||||||
|
import json
|
||||||
|
data = json.load(r)
|
||||||
|
if data.get("headers", {}).get("status") != "success":
|
||||||
|
print(f" API error: {data.get('headers', {}).get('error_message')}")
|
||||||
|
return []
|
||||||
|
return data.get("results", [])
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _download(url: str, dest: Path) -> bool:
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
req = Request(url, headers={"User-Agent": "ai-podcast-music-fetcher/1.0"})
|
||||||
|
with urlopen(req, timeout=120) as r, open(dest, "wb") as out:
|
||||||
|
while True:
|
||||||
|
chunk = r.read(64 * 1024)
|
||||||
|
if not chunk:
|
||||||
|
break
|
||||||
|
out.write(chunk)
|
||||||
|
return True
|
||||||
|
except Exception as e:
|
||||||
|
print(f" download failed: {e}")
|
||||||
|
if dest.exists():
|
||||||
|
dest.unlink()
|
||||||
|
return False
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def fetch_bucket(tag_query: str, genre_label: str, target: int, existing: set[str], dry_run: bool) -> list[tuple[Path, dict]]:
|
||||||
|
"""Returns list of (path, track_info) successfully downloaded."""
|
||||||
|
print(f"\n=== {genre_label} (target {target}) ===")
|
||||||
|
downloaded: list[tuple[Path, dict]] = []
|
||||||
|
offset = 0
|
||||||
|
seen_ids = set()
|
||||||
|
while len(downloaded) < target and offset < 500: # cap pagination
|
||||||
|
page = _fetch_jamendo_page(tag_query, offset)
|
||||||
|
if not page:
|
||||||
|
break
|
||||||
|
offset += len(page)
|
||||||
|
for track in page:
|
||||||
|
if len(downloaded) >= target:
|
||||||
|
break
|
||||||
|
tid = track.get("id")
|
||||||
|
if tid in seen_ids:
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
seen_ids.add(tid)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if track.get("duration", 0) < 60:
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
if not track.get("audiodownload_allowed"):
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
artist = _sanitize(track.get("artist_name", "Unknown"))
|
||||||
|
name = _sanitize(track.get("name", "Untitled"))
|
||||||
|
sig = f"{artist} - {name}".lower().strip()
|
||||||
|
if sig in existing:
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
filename = f"{artist} - {name} [{genre_label}].mp3"
|
||||||
|
dest = MUSIC_DIR / filename
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
audio_url = track.get("audiodownload") or track.get("audio")
|
||||||
|
if not audio_url:
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if dry_run:
|
||||||
|
print(f" [DRY] {filename} ({track.get('duration')}s)")
|
||||||
|
downloaded.append((dest, track))
|
||||||
|
existing.add(sig)
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(f" ↓ {filename} ({track.get('duration')}s)")
|
||||||
|
if _download(audio_url, dest):
|
||||||
|
downloaded.append((dest, track))
|
||||||
|
existing.add(sig)
|
||||||
|
time.sleep(0.5) # be polite
|
||||||
|
if len(page) < 50:
|
||||||
|
break
|
||||||
|
return downloaded
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def append_credits(entries: list[tuple[Path, dict]]):
|
||||||
|
if not entries:
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
with open(CREDITS_FILE, "a") as f:
|
||||||
|
f.write(f"\n# Added {time.strftime('%Y-%m-%d')} — vocal-free batch via Jamendo API\n")
|
||||||
|
for dest, track in entries:
|
||||||
|
license_url = track.get("license_ccurl", "")
|
||||||
|
share_url = track.get("shareurl", "")
|
||||||
|
artist = track.get("artist_name", "")
|
||||||
|
name = track.get("name", "")
|
||||||
|
f.write(f"{dest.name} | {artist} - {name} | {license_url} | {share_url}\n")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def main():
|
||||||
|
ap = argparse.ArgumentParser()
|
||||||
|
ap.add_argument("--count", type=int, default=100, help="Total tracks (default 100)")
|
||||||
|
ap.add_argument("--dry-run", action="store_true")
|
||||||
|
args = ap.parse_args()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
MUSIC_DIR.mkdir(exist_ok=True)
|
||||||
|
existing = _existing_signatures()
|
||||||
|
print(f"Existing tracks: {len(existing)}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Scale bucket targets proportionally to --count
|
||||||
|
scale = args.count / sum(b[2] for b in BUCKETS)
|
||||||
|
all_new: list[tuple[Path, dict]] = []
|
||||||
|
for tag, label, weight in BUCKETS:
|
||||||
|
target = max(1, round(weight * scale))
|
||||||
|
all_new.extend(fetch_bucket(tag, label, target, existing, args.dry_run))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(f"\n=== Done. {len(all_new)} new tracks {'planned' if args.dry_run else 'downloaded'}. ===")
|
||||||
|
if not args.dry_run:
|
||||||
|
append_credits(all_new)
|
||||||
|
print(f"CREDITS.txt updated.")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if __name__ == "__main__":
|
||||||
|
main()
|
||||||
+22
-2
@@ -1434,12 +1434,32 @@ section h2 {
|
|||||||
|
|
||||||
.vm-item {
|
.vm-item {
|
||||||
display: flex;
|
display: flex;
|
||||||
align-items: center;
|
flex-direction: column;
|
||||||
justify-content: space-between;
|
gap: 4px;
|
||||||
padding: 6px 8px;
|
padding: 6px 8px;
|
||||||
border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(232, 121, 29, 0.08);
|
border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(232, 121, 29, 0.08);
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.vm-row {
|
||||||
|
display: flex;
|
||||||
|
align-items: center;
|
||||||
|
justify-content: space-between;
|
||||||
|
gap: 8px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.vm-transcript {
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.8rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.35;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--text-muted);
|
||||||
|
border-left: 2px solid rgba(232, 121, 29, 0.25);
|
||||||
|
padding-left: 8px;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
.vm-transcript-pending {
|
||||||
|
font-style: italic;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.6;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
.vm-item:last-child {
|
.vm-item:last-child {
|
||||||
border-bottom: none;
|
border-bottom: none;
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
|||||||
Binary file not shown.
|
After Width: | Height: | Size: 2.6 MiB |
+2
-2
@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@
|
|||||||
<meta charset="UTF-8">
|
<meta charset="UTF-8">
|
||||||
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
|
||||||
<title>Luke at The Roost</title>
|
<title>Luke at The Roost</title>
|
||||||
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/style.css?v=2">
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/style.css?v=3">
|
||||||
</head>
|
</head>
|
||||||
<body>
|
<body>
|
||||||
<div id="app">
|
<div id="app">
|
||||||
@@ -325,6 +325,6 @@
|
|||||||
</div>
|
</div>
|
||||||
</div>
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
<script src="/js/app.js?v=28"></script>
|
<script src="/js/app.js?v=29"></script>
|
||||||
</body>
|
</body>
|
||||||
</html>
|
</html>
|
||||||
|
|||||||
+16
-10
@@ -1993,18 +1993,24 @@ function renderVoicemails(voicemails) {
|
|||||||
const secs = v.duration % 60;
|
const secs = v.duration % 60;
|
||||||
const durStr = mins > 0 ? `${mins}m ${secs}s` : `${secs}s`;
|
const durStr = mins > 0 ? `${mins}m ${secs}s` : `${secs}s`;
|
||||||
const unlistenedCls = v.listened ? '' : ' vm-unlistened';
|
const unlistenedCls = v.listened ? '' : ' vm-unlistened';
|
||||||
|
const transcript = v.transcript
|
||||||
|
? `<div class="vm-transcript">${escapeHtml(v.transcript)}</div>`
|
||||||
|
: `<div class="vm-transcript vm-transcript-pending">Transcribing…</div>`;
|
||||||
return `<div class="vm-item${unlistenedCls}" data-id="${v.id}">
|
return `<div class="vm-item${unlistenedCls}" data-id="${v.id}">
|
||||||
<div class="vm-info">
|
<div class="vm-row">
|
||||||
<span class="vm-phone">${v.phone}</span>
|
<div class="vm-info">
|
||||||
<span class="vm-time">${timeStr}</span>
|
<span class="vm-phone">${v.phone}</span>
|
||||||
<span class="vm-dur">${durStr}</span>
|
<span class="vm-time">${timeStr}</span>
|
||||||
</div>
|
<span class="vm-dur">${durStr}</span>
|
||||||
<div class="vm-actions">
|
</div>
|
||||||
<button class="vm-btn listen" onclick="listenVoicemail('${v.id}')">Listen</button>
|
<div class="vm-actions">
|
||||||
<button class="vm-btn on-air" onclick="playVoicemailOnAir('${v.id}')">On Air</button>
|
<button class="vm-btn listen" onclick="listenVoicemail('${v.id}')">Listen</button>
|
||||||
<button class="vm-btn save" onclick="saveVoicemail('${v.id}')">Save</button>
|
<button class="vm-btn on-air" onclick="playVoicemailOnAir('${v.id}')">On Air</button>
|
||||||
<button class="vm-btn delete" onclick="deleteVoicemail('${v.id}')">Del</button>
|
<button class="vm-btn save" onclick="saveVoicemail('${v.id}')">Save</button>
|
||||||
|
<button class="vm-btn delete" onclick="deleteVoicemail('${v.id}')">Del</button>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
</div>
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
${transcript}
|
||||||
</div>`;
|
</div>`;
|
||||||
}).join('');
|
}).join('');
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,161 @@
|
|||||||
|
#!/usr/bin/env python3
|
||||||
|
"""Generate a static, crawlable page for every episode in the podcast feed."""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import argparse
|
||||||
|
import shutil
|
||||||
|
import sys
|
||||||
|
import tempfile
|
||||||
|
import urllib.request
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
from xml.sax.saxutils import escape
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.feed import parse_feed
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.render import FEED_URL, render_episode_page
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.transcript import parse_transcript
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
REPO_ROOT = Path(__file__).resolve().parent
|
||||||
|
DEFAULT_OUTPUT = REPO_ROOT / "website"
|
||||||
|
DEFAULT_TRANSCRIPTS = DEFAULT_OUTPUT / "transcripts"
|
||||||
|
USER_AGENT = "lukeattheroost-site-generator/1.0"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
SITE_URL = "https://lukeattheroost.com"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# (path, lastmod, changefreq, priority) — /404 is deliberately excluded.
|
||||||
|
STATIC_PAGES = (
|
||||||
|
("", "2026-03-15", "weekly", "1.0"),
|
||||||
|
("/llms.txt", "2026-03-15", "weekly", "0.5"),
|
||||||
|
("/how-it-works", "2026-03-10", "monthly", "0.8"),
|
||||||
|
("/clips", "2026-03-10", "weekly", "0.8"),
|
||||||
|
("/terms", "2026-02-25", "yearly", "0.3"),
|
||||||
|
("/stats", "2026-02-15", "daily", "0.6"),
|
||||||
|
("/privacy", "2026-02-15", "yearly", "0.3"),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def build_sitemap(episodes, static_pages=None) -> str:
|
||||||
|
"""Render the full sitemap: static pages first, then episodes newest first."""
|
||||||
|
if static_pages is None:
|
||||||
|
static_pages = STATIC_PAGES
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
entries = [(f"{SITE_URL}{path}", lastmod, freq, pri) for path, lastmod, freq, pri in static_pages]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
ordered = sorted(
|
||||||
|
episodes,
|
||||||
|
key=lambda ep: (ep.published_iso, ep.number if ep.number is not None else -1),
|
||||||
|
reverse=True,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
for episode in ordered:
|
||||||
|
entries.append(
|
||||||
|
(
|
||||||
|
f"{SITE_URL}/episode/{episode.slug}/",
|
||||||
|
episode.published_iso[:10],
|
||||||
|
"monthly",
|
||||||
|
"0.7",
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
lines = [
|
||||||
|
'<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>',
|
||||||
|
'<urlset xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9">',
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
for loc, lastmod, freq, pri in entries:
|
||||||
|
lines.append(" <url>")
|
||||||
|
lines.append(f" <loc>{escape(loc)}</loc>")
|
||||||
|
if lastmod:
|
||||||
|
lines.append(f" <lastmod>{lastmod}</lastmod>")
|
||||||
|
lines.append(f" <changefreq>{freq}</changefreq>")
|
||||||
|
lines.append(f" <priority>{pri}</priority>")
|
||||||
|
lines.append(" </url>")
|
||||||
|
lines.append("</urlset>")
|
||||||
|
return "\n".join(lines) + "\n"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def generate(feed_path, transcripts_dir, output_root, dry_run=False, sitemap=False) -> int:
|
||||||
|
"""Write <output_root>/episode/<slug>/index.html for each feed episode.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Driven entirely by the feed: a transcript with no feed item is ignored, and a
|
||||||
|
feed item with no transcript still gets a page. Never touches the network.
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
feed_path = Path(feed_path)
|
||||||
|
transcripts_dir = Path(transcripts_dir)
|
||||||
|
output_root = Path(output_root)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
episodes = parse_feed(feed_path.read_text(encoding="utf-8"))
|
||||||
|
episodes.sort(key=lambda ep: ep.number if ep.number is not None else -1, reverse=True)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
written = 0
|
||||||
|
for i, episode in enumerate(episodes):
|
||||||
|
transcript_file = transcripts_dir / f"{episode.slug}.txt"
|
||||||
|
turns = (
|
||||||
|
parse_transcript(transcript_file.read_text(encoding="utf-8"))
|
||||||
|
if transcript_file.is_file()
|
||||||
|
else []
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(
|
||||||
|
episode,
|
||||||
|
turns,
|
||||||
|
prev_ep=episodes[i + 1] if i + 1 < len(episodes) else None,
|
||||||
|
next_ep=episodes[i - 1] if i > 0 else None,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
page = output_root / "episode" / episode.slug / "index.html"
|
||||||
|
if not dry_run:
|
||||||
|
page.parent.mkdir(parents=True, exist_ok=True)
|
||||||
|
page.write_text(html, encoding="utf-8")
|
||||||
|
written += 1
|
||||||
|
print(f"{'would write' if dry_run else 'wrote'} {page} ({len(turns)} turns)")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if sitemap:
|
||||||
|
sitemap_file = output_root / "sitemap.xml"
|
||||||
|
if not dry_run:
|
||||||
|
sitemap_file.parent.mkdir(parents=True, exist_ok=True)
|
||||||
|
sitemap_file.write_text(build_sitemap(episodes), encoding="utf-8")
|
||||||
|
print(f"{'would write' if dry_run else 'wrote'} {sitemap_file}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
return written
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _fetch_feed(url: str) -> str:
|
||||||
|
# Cloudflare 403s the default Python-urllib user agent.
|
||||||
|
req = urllib.request.Request(url, headers={"User-Agent": USER_AGENT})
|
||||||
|
with urllib.request.urlopen(req, timeout=30) as resp:
|
||||||
|
return resp.read().decode("utf-8")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def main() -> None:
|
||||||
|
parser = argparse.ArgumentParser(description=__doc__)
|
||||||
|
parser.add_argument("--feed", help="local feed XML file (default: fetch the live feed)")
|
||||||
|
parser.add_argument("--output", default=DEFAULT_OUTPUT, help="output directory")
|
||||||
|
parser.add_argument("--transcripts", default=DEFAULT_TRANSCRIPTS, help="transcript directory")
|
||||||
|
parser.add_argument("--dry-run", action="store_true", help="report without writing")
|
||||||
|
parser.add_argument("--sitemap", action="store_true", help="also write <output>/sitemap.xml")
|
||||||
|
args = parser.parse_args()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
feed_path = args.feed
|
||||||
|
tmp_feed = None
|
||||||
|
if not feed_path:
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
xml_text = _fetch_feed(FEED_URL)
|
||||||
|
except Exception as exc:
|
||||||
|
print(f"Failed to fetch {FEED_URL}: {exc}", file=sys.stderr)
|
||||||
|
sys.exit(1)
|
||||||
|
tmp_feed = Path(tempfile.mkdtemp(prefix="episode-feed-")) / "feed.xml"
|
||||||
|
tmp_feed.write_text(xml_text, encoding="utf-8")
|
||||||
|
feed_path = tmp_feed
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
count = generate(
|
||||||
|
feed_path,
|
||||||
|
args.transcripts,
|
||||||
|
args.output,
|
||||||
|
dry_run=args.dry_run,
|
||||||
|
sitemap=args.sitemap,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
finally:
|
||||||
|
if tmp_feed is not None:
|
||||||
|
shutil.rmtree(tmp_feed.parent, ignore_errors=True)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(f"{count} episode pages {'planned' if args.dry_run else 'written'}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if __name__ == "__main__":
|
||||||
|
main()
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,148 @@
|
|||||||
|
#!/usr/bin/env python3
|
||||||
|
"""Generate 1000 downloads milestone images using Nano Banana 2 (Gemini Flash Image)."""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import os
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
from google import genai
|
||||||
|
from google.genai import types
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Load .env manually
|
||||||
|
env_path = Path(__file__).parent / ".env"
|
||||||
|
if env_path.exists():
|
||||||
|
for line in env_path.read_text().splitlines():
|
||||||
|
line = line.strip()
|
||||||
|
if line and not line.startswith("#") and "=" in line:
|
||||||
|
key, _, value = line.partition("=")
|
||||||
|
os.environ.setdefault(key.strip(), value.strip())
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
client = genai.Client(api_key=os.getenv("GOOGLE_API_KEY"))
|
||||||
|
MODEL = "gemini-3.1-flash-image-preview"
|
||||||
|
OUTPUT_DIR = Path("social_posts/1000_milestone")
|
||||||
|
OUTPUT_DIR.mkdir(parents=True, exist_ok=True)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def generate_image(prompt: str, filename: str, aspect_ratio: str = "1:1"):
|
||||||
|
print(f"Generating {filename}...")
|
||||||
|
response = client.models.generate_content(
|
||||||
|
model=MODEL,
|
||||||
|
contents=[prompt],
|
||||||
|
config=types.GenerateContentConfig(
|
||||||
|
response_modalities=["TEXT", "IMAGE"],
|
||||||
|
image_config=types.ImageConfig(
|
||||||
|
aspect_ratio=aspect_ratio,
|
||||||
|
image_size="2K",
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
for part in response.parts:
|
||||||
|
if part.inline_data is not None:
|
||||||
|
image = part.as_image()
|
||||||
|
path = OUTPUT_DIR / filename
|
||||||
|
image.save(str(path))
|
||||||
|
print(f" Saved: {path}")
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
print(f" WARNING: No image generated for {filename}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
STYLE_BASE = (
|
||||||
|
"Professional podcast promotional graphic. Dark navy/black background with subtle "
|
||||||
|
"warm amber and gold accent lighting, evoking a late-night radio studio atmosphere. "
|
||||||
|
"Clean modern typography. No photorealistic people. Subtle microphone and radio wave "
|
||||||
|
"design elements. Polished, minimal, high contrast."
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
images = [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"filename": "main_milestone_square.png",
|
||||||
|
"aspect_ratio": "1:1",
|
||||||
|
"prompt": (
|
||||||
|
f"{STYLE_BASE} "
|
||||||
|
"Large bold glowing text '1,000' as the hero element in the center, with "
|
||||||
|
"'DOWNLOADS' directly below it in a thinner font. Below that in smaller text: "
|
||||||
|
"'27 episodes · 200+ callers · 1 month'. "
|
||||||
|
"At the top: 'LUKE AT THE ROOST' in elegant lettering. "
|
||||||
|
"Subtle golden microphone icon above the title. "
|
||||||
|
"At the bottom: 'lukeattheroost.com' in small clean text. "
|
||||||
|
"The overall feel is celebratory but classy, like a late-night milestone announcement."
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"filename": "main_milestone_twitter.png",
|
||||||
|
"aspect_ratio": "16:9",
|
||||||
|
"prompt": (
|
||||||
|
f"{STYLE_BASE} "
|
||||||
|
"Wide banner format. Left side has 'LUKE AT THE ROOST' title with a subtle "
|
||||||
|
"microphone graphic. Right side has large bold glowing '1,000 DOWNLOADS' text "
|
||||||
|
"with '27 episodes · 200+ callers · 1 month' below. "
|
||||||
|
"Warm amber glow connecting the two sides. "
|
||||||
|
"Bottom right corner: 'lukeattheroost.com'. "
|
||||||
|
"Designed as a Twitter/X post image."
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"filename": "carousel_1_downloads.png",
|
||||||
|
"aspect_ratio": "1:1",
|
||||||
|
"prompt": (
|
||||||
|
f"{STYLE_BASE} "
|
||||||
|
"Instagram carousel slide 1. Giant bold text '1,000' taking up most of the frame, "
|
||||||
|
"with 'DOWNLOADS' below. Subtle radio wave ripples emanating from the numbers. "
|
||||||
|
"'LUKE AT THE ROOST' at the top in small elegant text. "
|
||||||
|
"Small '1/5' page indicator dots at the bottom."
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"filename": "carousel_2_episodes.png",
|
||||||
|
"aspect_ratio": "1:1",
|
||||||
|
"prompt": (
|
||||||
|
f"{STYLE_BASE} "
|
||||||
|
"Instagram carousel slide 2. Large bold text '27' in the center with "
|
||||||
|
"'EPISODES' below. A subtle audio waveform timeline graphic running horizontally "
|
||||||
|
"behind the number. 'LUKE AT THE ROOST' at the top in small elegant text. "
|
||||||
|
"Small '2/5' page indicator dots at the bottom."
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"filename": "carousel_3_callers.png",
|
||||||
|
"aspect_ratio": "1:1",
|
||||||
|
"prompt": (
|
||||||
|
f"{STYLE_BASE} "
|
||||||
|
"Instagram carousel slide 3. Large bold text '200+' in the center with "
|
||||||
|
"'CALLERS' below. Subtle vintage telephone handset icon above the number. "
|
||||||
|
"'LUKE AT THE ROOST' at the top in small elegant text. "
|
||||||
|
"Small '3/5' page indicator dots at the bottom."
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"filename": "carousel_4_regulars.png",
|
||||||
|
"aspect_ratio": "1:1",
|
||||||
|
"prompt": (
|
||||||
|
f"{STYLE_BASE} "
|
||||||
|
"Instagram carousel slide 4. Large bold text '13' in the center with "
|
||||||
|
"'RETURNING REGULARS' below. Subtle connected dots/nodes graphic suggesting "
|
||||||
|
"a network of recurring characters. "
|
||||||
|
"'LUKE AT THE ROOST' at the top in small elegant text. "
|
||||||
|
"Small '4/5' page indicator dots at the bottom."
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"filename": "carousel_5_thankyou.png",
|
||||||
|
"aspect_ratio": "1:1",
|
||||||
|
"prompt": (
|
||||||
|
f"{STYLE_BASE} "
|
||||||
|
"Instagram carousel slide 5. Warm, heartfelt tone. Large elegant text "
|
||||||
|
"'THANK YOU' in the center with a soft golden glow. Below: "
|
||||||
|
"'lukeattheroost.com' and '208-439-LUKE' in clean small text. "
|
||||||
|
"'LUKE AT THE ROOST' at the top in small elegant text. "
|
||||||
|
"Small '5/5' page indicator dots at the bottom. "
|
||||||
|
"Slightly warmer color temperature than the other slides to feel like a closing moment."
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if __name__ == "__main__":
|
||||||
|
for img in images:
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
generate_image(img["prompt"], img["filename"], img["aspect_ratio"])
|
||||||
|
except Exception as e:
|
||||||
|
print(f" ERROR generating {img['filename']}: {e}")
|
||||||
|
print(f"\nDone! Images saved to {OUTPUT_DIR}/")
|
||||||
+1
-1
@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ def _llm_request(prompt: str, max_tokens: int = 2048, temperature: float = 0.3,
|
|||||||
"Content-Type": "application/json",
|
"Content-Type": "application/json",
|
||||||
},
|
},
|
||||||
json={
|
json={
|
||||||
"model": "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4-5",
|
"model": "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6",
|
||||||
"messages": [{"role": "user", "content": prompt}],
|
"messages": [{"role": "user", "content": prompt}],
|
||||||
"max_tokens": max_tokens,
|
"max_tokens": max_tokens,
|
||||||
"temperature": temperature,
|
"temperature": temperature,
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,644 @@
|
|||||||
|
#!/usr/bin/env python3
|
||||||
|
"""Generate all visual assets for the X/Twitter launch campaign.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Creates:
|
||||||
|
1. X header image (1500x500)
|
||||||
|
2. 7 branded quote cards (1080x1080 + 1200x675)
|
||||||
|
3. "Welcome to the show" intro graphic
|
||||||
|
4. "Leave us a review" graphic
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Usage:
|
||||||
|
python make_x_launch_assets.py
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import os
|
||||||
|
from PIL import Image, ImageDraw, ImageFont
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
SCRIPT_DIR = os.path.dirname(os.path.abspath(__file__))
|
||||||
|
COVER = os.path.join(SCRIPT_DIR, "website/images/cover.png")
|
||||||
|
OUT_DIR = os.path.join(SCRIPT_DIR, "social_posts/x_launch")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Brand colors
|
||||||
|
BG = (18, 13, 7)
|
||||||
|
ACCENT = (232, 121, 29)
|
||||||
|
WHITE = (255, 255, 255)
|
||||||
|
MUTED = (175, 165, 150)
|
||||||
|
LIGHTER = (220, 215, 205)
|
||||||
|
DARK_PANEL = (30, 22, 12)
|
||||||
|
ACCENT_DIM = (140, 75, 18)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# macOS system fonts
|
||||||
|
FONT_BLACK = "/System/Library/Fonts/Supplemental/Arial Black.ttf"
|
||||||
|
FONT_BOLD = "/System/Library/Fonts/Supplemental/Arial Bold.ttf"
|
||||||
|
FONT_REG = "/System/Library/Fonts/Supplemental/Arial.ttf"
|
||||||
|
FONT_ITALIC = "/System/Library/Fonts/Supplemental/Arial Italic.ttf"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def font(path, size):
|
||||||
|
return ImageFont.truetype(path, size)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def text_size(draw, text, f):
|
||||||
|
bb = draw.textbbox((0, 0), text, font=f)
|
||||||
|
return bb[2] - bb[0], bb[3] - bb[1]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def paste_cover(img, x, y, size, radius=16):
|
||||||
|
cover = Image.open(COVER).resize((size, size), Image.LANCZOS)
|
||||||
|
mask = Image.new("L", (size, size), 0)
|
||||||
|
ImageDraw.Draw(mask).rounded_rectangle([0, 0, size, size], radius=radius, fill=255)
|
||||||
|
img.paste(cover, (x, y), mask)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def wrap_text_centered(draw, text, center_x, y, max_w, f, fill, line_gap=10):
|
||||||
|
"""Word-wrap text, centered on each line. Returns y below last line."""
|
||||||
|
words = text.split()
|
||||||
|
lines = []
|
||||||
|
cur = ""
|
||||||
|
for word in words:
|
||||||
|
test = f"{cur} {word}".strip()
|
||||||
|
tw, _ = text_size(draw, test, f)
|
||||||
|
if tw > max_w and cur:
|
||||||
|
lines.append(cur)
|
||||||
|
cur = word
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
cur = test
|
||||||
|
if cur:
|
||||||
|
lines.append(cur)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
for line in lines:
|
||||||
|
tw, th = text_size(draw, line, f)
|
||||||
|
draw.text((center_x - tw // 2, y), line, font=f, fill=fill)
|
||||||
|
y += th + line_gap
|
||||||
|
return y
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def wrap_text_left(draw, text, x, y, max_w, f, fill, line_gap=10):
|
||||||
|
"""Word-wrap text, left-aligned. Returns y below last line."""
|
||||||
|
words = text.split()
|
||||||
|
lines = []
|
||||||
|
cur = ""
|
||||||
|
for word in words:
|
||||||
|
test = f"{cur} {word}".strip()
|
||||||
|
tw, _ = text_size(draw, test, f)
|
||||||
|
if tw > max_w and cur:
|
||||||
|
lines.append(cur)
|
||||||
|
cur = word
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
cur = test
|
||||||
|
if cur:
|
||||||
|
lines.append(cur)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
for line in lines:
|
||||||
|
_, th = text_size(draw, line, f)
|
||||||
|
draw.text((x, y), line, font=f, fill=fill)
|
||||||
|
y += th + line_gap
|
||||||
|
return y
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def measure_wrap_height(draw, text, max_w, f, line_gap=10):
|
||||||
|
"""Measure how tall wrapped text would be without drawing."""
|
||||||
|
words = text.split()
|
||||||
|
lines = []
|
||||||
|
cur = ""
|
||||||
|
for word in words:
|
||||||
|
test = f"{cur} {word}".strip()
|
||||||
|
tw, _ = text_size(draw, test, f)
|
||||||
|
if tw > max_w and cur:
|
||||||
|
lines.append(cur)
|
||||||
|
cur = word
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
cur = test
|
||||||
|
if cur:
|
||||||
|
lines.append(cur)
|
||||||
|
total = 0
|
||||||
|
for line in lines:
|
||||||
|
_, th = text_size(draw, line, f)
|
||||||
|
total += th + line_gap
|
||||||
|
return total
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def accent_bars(draw, w, h, thickness):
|
||||||
|
draw.rectangle([0, 0, w, thickness], fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
draw.rectangle([0, h - thickness, w, h], fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def center_text(draw, text, y, canvas_w, f, fill):
|
||||||
|
tw, th = text_size(draw, text, f)
|
||||||
|
draw.text(((canvas_w - tw) // 2, y), text, font=f, fill=fill)
|
||||||
|
return y + th
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# ── 1. X HEADER (1500x500) ──────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def make_header():
|
||||||
|
W, H = 1500, 500
|
||||||
|
img = Image.new("RGB", (W, H), BG)
|
||||||
|
draw = ImageDraw.Draw(img)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Amber accent bars
|
||||||
|
accent_bars(draw, W, H, 6)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Subtle amber glow on left
|
||||||
|
for i in range(200):
|
||||||
|
alpha = int(18 * (1 - i / 200))
|
||||||
|
draw.rectangle([0, 0, i, H], fill=(18 + alpha, 13 + alpha // 2, 7))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Cover art — right side
|
||||||
|
cover_size = 340
|
||||||
|
cover_x = W - cover_size - 60
|
||||||
|
cover_y = (H - cover_size) // 2
|
||||||
|
paste_cover(img, cover_x, cover_y, cover_size, 20)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Left side content
|
||||||
|
mx = 80
|
||||||
|
cy = 100
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Show name
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx, cy), "LUKE AT THE ROOST", font=font(FONT_BLACK, 72), fill=WHITE)
|
||||||
|
cy += 90
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Tagline
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx, cy), "Late-Night Call-In Radio", font=font(FONT_REG, 36), fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
cy += 50
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx, cy), "Powered by AI", font=font(FONT_BOLD, 30), fill=MUTED)
|
||||||
|
cy += 55
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Divider line
|
||||||
|
draw.rectangle([mx, cy, mx + 400, cy + 3], fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
cy += 20
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Info line
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx, cy), "New episodes daily | lukeattheroost.com",
|
||||||
|
font=font(FONT_REG, 24), fill=MUTED)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
img.save(os.path.join(OUT_DIR, "x_header_1500x500.png"), quality=95)
|
||||||
|
print("Created: x_header_1500x500.png")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# ── 2. QUOTE CARDS ──────────────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
QUOTES = [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"quote": "Everybody is a fake. We're all fakes. Nobody knows what's going on and none of us deserve a goddamn thing. We're lucky to be here at all.",
|
||||||
|
"caller": "Luke",
|
||||||
|
"episode": "Ep. 2",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "were_all_fakes",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"quote": "When my hands are busy, my head is quiet.",
|
||||||
|
"caller": "Frank",
|
||||||
|
"episode": "Ep. 12",
|
||||||
|
"context": "on building bird houses after losing his wife",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "hands_busy_head_quiet",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"quote": "I've been using stoicism backwards\u2014as an excuse not to try instead of finding peace after I've actually done something. That's not stoicism, that's just being a coward with a fancy excuse.",
|
||||||
|
"caller": "Caller",
|
||||||
|
"episode": "Ep. 19",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "stoicism_backwards",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"quote": "You're right. I am a computer-generated AI caller. And you're sitting there alone talking to me at midnight like it's a real conversation.",
|
||||||
|
"caller": "AI Caller",
|
||||||
|
"episode": "Ep. 24",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "ai_caller_reveal",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"quote": "I burned my second marriage to the ground doing exactly what you're doing. My ex-wife didn't leave because I wasn't making money\u2014she left because I wasn't there.",
|
||||||
|
"caller": "Mikey",
|
||||||
|
"episode": "Ep. 22",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "burned_my_marriage",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"quote": "My mom said all she wants is to see her kids eat cake together. That's it. Just cake.",
|
||||||
|
"caller": "Caller",
|
||||||
|
"episode": "Ep. 30",
|
||||||
|
"context": "on a dying mother's final wish",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "just_eat_cake",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"quote": "I told my sister I had prostate cancer to get out of her fourth wedding. Now there's been a GoFundMe, a pancake breakfast fundraiser, and my cousin shaved his head for me.",
|
||||||
|
"caller": "Caller",
|
||||||
|
"episode": "Ep. 32",
|
||||||
|
"slug": "faked_cancer_wedding",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def make_quote_square(q, idx):
|
||||||
|
W = 1080
|
||||||
|
img = Image.new("RGB", (W, W), BG)
|
||||||
|
draw = ImageDraw.Draw(img)
|
||||||
|
accent_bars(draw, W, W, 6)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
mx = 70
|
||||||
|
max_w = W - mx * 2
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Header bar
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx, 40), "LUKE AT THE ROOST", font=font(FONT_BOLD, 22), fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
paste_cover(img, W - 120, 30, 70, 10)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Font size — aggressive scaling for short quotes
|
||||||
|
quote_len = len(q["quote"])
|
||||||
|
if quote_len < 55:
|
||||||
|
qfont_size = 72
|
||||||
|
elif quote_len < 100:
|
||||||
|
qfont_size = 56
|
||||||
|
elif quote_len < 150:
|
||||||
|
qfont_size = 44
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
qfont_size = 38
|
||||||
|
qfont = font(FONT_BOLD, qfont_size)
|
||||||
|
line_gap = 16
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Measure total content block height to center it
|
||||||
|
open_quote_h = 80
|
||||||
|
quote_gap = 20
|
||||||
|
quote_h = measure_wrap_height(draw, q["quote"], max_w, qfont, line_gap=line_gap)
|
||||||
|
close_quote_h = 78 # glyph + attribution inline
|
||||||
|
attr_gap = 0
|
||||||
|
divider_h = 0
|
||||||
|
attr_h = 0
|
||||||
|
context_h = 35 if "context" in q else 0
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
total_h = open_quote_h + quote_gap + quote_h + close_quote_h + attr_gap + divider_h + attr_h + context_h
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Center between header (y=90) and footer (y=W-70)
|
||||||
|
avail_top = 100
|
||||||
|
avail_bottom = W - 80
|
||||||
|
avail_h = avail_bottom - avail_top
|
||||||
|
y = avail_top + (avail_h - total_h) // 2
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Opening quote mark
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx - 15, y), "\u201c", font=font(FONT_BLACK, 100), fill=ACCENT_DIM)
|
||||||
|
y += open_quote_h + quote_gap
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Quote text
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_left(draw, q["quote"], mx, y, max_w, qfont, WHITE, line_gap=line_gap)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Closing quote mark + attribution
|
||||||
|
close_y = y + 8
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx - 15, close_y), "\u201d", font=font(FONT_BLACK, 80), fill=ACCENT_DIM)
|
||||||
|
attr = f"\u2014 {q['caller']}, {q['episode']}"
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx + 70, close_y + 25), attr, font=font(FONT_BOLD, 28), fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
y = close_y + 70
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if "context" in q:
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx, y), q["context"], font=font(FONT_ITALIC, 24), fill=MUTED)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Footer
|
||||||
|
footer_y = W - 70
|
||||||
|
center_text(draw, "lukeattheroost.com \u00b7 Spotify \u00b7 Apple Podcasts \u00b7 YouTube",
|
||||||
|
footer_y, W, font(FONT_REG, 20), MUTED)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
fname = f"quote_{idx + 1}_{q['slug']}_square.png"
|
||||||
|
img.save(os.path.join(OUT_DIR, fname), quality=95)
|
||||||
|
print(f"Created: {fname}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def make_quote_landscape(q, idx):
|
||||||
|
W, H = 1200, 675
|
||||||
|
img = Image.new("RGB", (W, H), BG)
|
||||||
|
draw = ImageDraw.Draw(img)
|
||||||
|
accent_bars(draw, W, H, 5)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
mx = 55
|
||||||
|
max_w = W - mx * 2
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Header
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx, 28), "LUKE AT THE ROOST", font=font(FONT_BOLD, 18), fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
paste_cover(img, W - 90, 22, 52, 8)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Font size — aggressive scaling for short quotes
|
||||||
|
quote_len = len(q["quote"])
|
||||||
|
if quote_len < 55:
|
||||||
|
qfont_size = 52
|
||||||
|
elif quote_len < 100:
|
||||||
|
qfont_size = 42
|
||||||
|
elif quote_len < 150:
|
||||||
|
qfont_size = 34
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
qfont_size = 28
|
||||||
|
qfont = font(FONT_BOLD, qfont_size)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Measure total content block height
|
||||||
|
open_quote_h = 55
|
||||||
|
quote_gap = 15
|
||||||
|
quote_h = measure_wrap_height(draw, q["quote"], max_w, qfont, line_gap=10)
|
||||||
|
close_quote_h = 60 # glyph + attribution inline
|
||||||
|
attr_gap = 0
|
||||||
|
divider_h = 0
|
||||||
|
attr_h = 0
|
||||||
|
context_h = 30 if "context" in q else 0
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
total_h = open_quote_h + quote_gap + quote_h + close_quote_h + attr_gap + divider_h + attr_h + context_h
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Center between header (y=65) and footer (y=H-50)
|
||||||
|
avail_top = 65
|
||||||
|
avail_bottom = H - 55
|
||||||
|
avail_h = avail_bottom - avail_top
|
||||||
|
y = avail_top + (avail_h - total_h) // 2
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Opening quote mark
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx - 10, y), "\u201c", font=font(FONT_BLACK, 72), fill=ACCENT_DIM)
|
||||||
|
y += open_quote_h + quote_gap
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Quote text
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_left(draw, q["quote"], mx, y, max_w, qfont, WHITE, line_gap=10)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Closing quote + attribution
|
||||||
|
close_y = y + 5
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx - 10, close_y), "\u201d", font=font(FONT_BLACK, 60), fill=ACCENT_DIM)
|
||||||
|
attr = f"\u2014 {q['caller']}, {q['episode']}"
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx + 55, close_y + 18), attr, font=font(FONT_BOLD, 22), fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
y = close_y + 55
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if "context" in q:
|
||||||
|
draw.text((mx, y), q["context"], font=font(FONT_ITALIC, 19), fill=MUTED)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Footer
|
||||||
|
footer_y = H - 50
|
||||||
|
center_text(draw, "lukeattheroost.com \u00b7 Spotify \u00b7 Apple Podcasts \u00b7 YouTube",
|
||||||
|
footer_y, W, font(FONT_REG, 17), MUTED)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
fname = f"quote_{idx + 1}_{q['slug']}_twitter.png"
|
||||||
|
img.save(os.path.join(OUT_DIR, fname), quality=95)
|
||||||
|
print(f"Created: {fname}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# ── 3. WELCOME TO THE SHOW ──────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def make_welcome_square():
|
||||||
|
W = 1080
|
||||||
|
img = Image.new("RGB", (W, W), BG)
|
||||||
|
draw = ImageDraw.Draw(img)
|
||||||
|
accent_bars(draw, W, W, 8)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
cx = W // 2
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Cover art — centered, large
|
||||||
|
cover_size = 280
|
||||||
|
paste_cover(img, cx - cover_size // 2, 60, cover_size, 24)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
y = 60 + cover_size + 40
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Title
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_centered(draw, "WELCOME TO THE SHOW", cx, y, W - 120,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_BLACK, 64), WHITE, line_gap=12)
|
||||||
|
y += 20
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Divider
|
||||||
|
draw.rectangle([cx - 60, y, cx + 60, y + 4], fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
y += 30
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Description
|
||||||
|
desc = "Late-night call-in radio powered entirely by AI. Real conversations with AI callers about life, love, and everything in between."
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_centered(draw, desc, cx, y, W - 140,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_REG, 30), LIGHTER, line_gap=12)
|
||||||
|
y += 30
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Features
|
||||||
|
features = [
|
||||||
|
"New episodes daily",
|
||||||
|
"AI-generated callers with real personalities",
|
||||||
|
"Unscripted. Unfiltered. Unpredictable.",
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
for feat in features:
|
||||||
|
line = f"\u2022 {feat}"
|
||||||
|
tw, th = text_size(draw, line, font(FONT_REG, 26))
|
||||||
|
draw.text((cx - tw // 2, y), line, font=font(FONT_REG, 26), fill=MUTED)
|
||||||
|
y += th + 14
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
y += 20
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# CTA
|
||||||
|
cta = "FOLLOW @LUKEATTHEROOST"
|
||||||
|
cta_font = font(FONT_BOLD, 32)
|
||||||
|
tw, th = text_size(draw, cta, cta_font)
|
||||||
|
px, py = 28, 16
|
||||||
|
box_w = tw + px * 2
|
||||||
|
box_h = th + py * 2
|
||||||
|
box_x = cx - box_w // 2
|
||||||
|
draw.rounded_rectangle([box_x, y, box_x + box_w, y + box_h],
|
||||||
|
radius=10, fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
draw.text((box_x + px, y + py), cta, font=cta_font, fill=BG)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
y += box_h + 24
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Footer
|
||||||
|
center_text(draw, "lukeattheroost.com", y, W, font(FONT_REG, 22), MUTED)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
img.save(os.path.join(OUT_DIR, "welcome_to_the_show_square.png"), quality=95)
|
||||||
|
print("Created: welcome_to_the_show_square.png")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def make_welcome_landscape():
|
||||||
|
W, H = 1200, 675
|
||||||
|
img = Image.new("RGB", (W, H), BG)
|
||||||
|
draw = ImageDraw.Draw(img)
|
||||||
|
accent_bars(draw, W, H, 6)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Cover art — left side
|
||||||
|
cover_size = 260
|
||||||
|
cover_x, cover_y = 50, (H - cover_size) // 2
|
||||||
|
paste_cover(img, cover_x, cover_y, cover_size, 20)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Right side content
|
||||||
|
rx = cover_x + cover_size + 50
|
||||||
|
max_w = W - rx - 50
|
||||||
|
y = 60
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Title
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_left(draw, "WELCOME TO THE SHOW", rx, y, max_w,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_BLACK, 48), WHITE, line_gap=10)
|
||||||
|
y += 16
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Divider
|
||||||
|
draw.rectangle([rx, y, rx + 80, y + 3], fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
y += 20
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Description
|
||||||
|
desc = "Late-night call-in radio powered entirely by AI. Real conversations with AI callers about life, love, and everything in between."
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_left(draw, desc, rx, y, max_w,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_REG, 22), LIGHTER, line_gap=10)
|
||||||
|
y += 20
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Features
|
||||||
|
features = [
|
||||||
|
"New episodes daily",
|
||||||
|
"AI callers with real personalities",
|
||||||
|
"Unscripted. Unfiltered. Unpredictable.",
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
for feat in features:
|
||||||
|
line = f"\u2022 {feat}"
|
||||||
|
draw.text((rx, y), line, font=font(FONT_REG, 20), fill=MUTED)
|
||||||
|
y += 32
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
y += 10
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# CTA
|
||||||
|
cta = "FOLLOW @LUKEATTHEROOST"
|
||||||
|
cta_font = font(FONT_BOLD, 24)
|
||||||
|
tw, th = text_size(draw, cta, cta_font)
|
||||||
|
px, py = 22, 12
|
||||||
|
draw.rounded_rectangle([rx, y, rx + tw + px * 2, y + th + py * 2],
|
||||||
|
radius=8, fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
draw.text((rx + px, y + py), cta, font=cta_font, fill=BG)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Footer
|
||||||
|
center_text(draw, "lukeattheroost.com \u00b7 Spotify \u00b7 Apple Podcasts \u00b7 YouTube",
|
||||||
|
H - 45, W, font(FONT_REG, 17), MUTED)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
img.save(os.path.join(OUT_DIR, "welcome_to_the_show_twitter.png"), quality=95)
|
||||||
|
print("Created: welcome_to_the_show_twitter.png")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# ── 4. LEAVE US A REVIEW ────────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def make_review_square():
|
||||||
|
W = 1080
|
||||||
|
img = Image.new("RGB", (W, W), BG)
|
||||||
|
draw = ImageDraw.Draw(img)
|
||||||
|
accent_bars(draw, W, W, 8)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
cx = W // 2
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Cover art
|
||||||
|
cover_size = 200
|
||||||
|
paste_cover(img, cx - cover_size // 2, 55, cover_size, 20)
|
||||||
|
y = 55 + cover_size + 35
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Title
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_centered(draw, "LOVE THE SHOW?", cx, y, W - 120,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_BLACK, 64), WHITE, line_gap=12)
|
||||||
|
y += 10
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_centered(draw, "LEAVE US A REVIEW", cx, y, W - 120,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_BLACK, 64), ACCENT, line_gap=12)
|
||||||
|
y += 30
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Divider
|
||||||
|
draw.rectangle([cx - 50, y, cx + 50, y + 3], fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
y += 30
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Body text
|
||||||
|
body = "Reviews help new listeners find the show. If Luke at the Roost has made you laugh, think, or question your life choices\u2014take 30 seconds to leave a rating."
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_centered(draw, body, cx, y, W - 140,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_REG, 28), LIGHTER, line_gap=12)
|
||||||
|
y += 35
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Stars
|
||||||
|
stars = "\u2605 \u2605 \u2605 \u2605 \u2605"
|
||||||
|
center_text(draw, stars, y, W, font(FONT_REG, 52), ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
y += 70
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Platforms
|
||||||
|
platforms = ["Apple Podcasts", "Spotify", "YouTube", "Podchaser"]
|
||||||
|
for plat in platforms:
|
||||||
|
tw, th = text_size(draw, plat, font(FONT_BOLD, 26))
|
||||||
|
px, py = 30, 12
|
||||||
|
box_w = tw + px * 2
|
||||||
|
box_x = cx - box_w // 2
|
||||||
|
draw.rounded_rectangle(
|
||||||
|
[box_x, y, box_x + box_w, y + th + py * 2],
|
||||||
|
radius=8, fill=DARK_PANEL, outline=ACCENT_DIM, width=2,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
draw.text((box_x + px, y + py), plat, font=font(FONT_BOLD, 26), fill=LIGHTER)
|
||||||
|
y += th + py * 2 + 12
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Footer
|
||||||
|
center_text(draw, "lukeattheroost.com", W - 65, W, font(FONT_REG, 20), MUTED)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
img.save(os.path.join(OUT_DIR, "leave_a_review_square.png"), quality=95)
|
||||||
|
print("Created: leave_a_review_square.png")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def make_review_landscape():
|
||||||
|
W, H = 1200, 675
|
||||||
|
img = Image.new("RGB", (W, H), BG)
|
||||||
|
draw = ImageDraw.Draw(img)
|
||||||
|
accent_bars(draw, W, H, 6)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Cover art — left
|
||||||
|
cover_size = 200
|
||||||
|
cover_x, cover_y = 50, (H - cover_size) // 2
|
||||||
|
paste_cover(img, cover_x, cover_y, cover_size, 16)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Right content
|
||||||
|
rx = cover_x + cover_size + 50
|
||||||
|
max_w = W - rx - 50
|
||||||
|
y = 50
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Title
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_left(draw, "LOVE THE SHOW?", rx, y, max_w,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_BLACK, 48), WHITE, line_gap=8)
|
||||||
|
y += 6
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_left(draw, "LEAVE US A REVIEW", rx, y, max_w,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_BLACK, 48), ACCENT, line_gap=8)
|
||||||
|
y += 16
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Stars
|
||||||
|
stars = "\u2605 \u2605 \u2605 \u2605 \u2605"
|
||||||
|
draw.text((rx, y), stars, font=font(FONT_REG, 40), fill=ACCENT)
|
||||||
|
y += 55
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Body
|
||||||
|
body = "Reviews help new listeners find the show. Take 30 seconds to leave a rating\u2014it makes a huge difference."
|
||||||
|
y = wrap_text_left(draw, body, rx, y, max_w,
|
||||||
|
font(FONT_REG, 22), LIGHTER, line_gap=10)
|
||||||
|
y += 25
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Platform pills — inline
|
||||||
|
platforms = ["Apple Podcasts", "Spotify", "YouTube", "Podchaser"]
|
||||||
|
pill_x = rx
|
||||||
|
pill_font = font(FONT_BOLD, 19)
|
||||||
|
for plat in platforms:
|
||||||
|
tw, th = text_size(draw, plat, pill_font)
|
||||||
|
px, py = 16, 8
|
||||||
|
pill_w = tw + px * 2
|
||||||
|
if pill_x + pill_w > W - 50:
|
||||||
|
pill_x = rx
|
||||||
|
y += th + py * 2 + 10
|
||||||
|
draw.rounded_rectangle(
|
||||||
|
[pill_x, y, pill_x + pill_w, y + th + py * 2],
|
||||||
|
radius=6, fill=DARK_PANEL, outline=ACCENT_DIM, width=2,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
draw.text((pill_x + px, y + py), plat, font=pill_font, fill=LIGHTER)
|
||||||
|
pill_x += pill_w + 10
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Footer
|
||||||
|
center_text(draw, "lukeattheroost.com", H - 40, W, font(FONT_REG, 17), MUTED)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
img.save(os.path.join(OUT_DIR, "leave_a_review_twitter.png"), quality=95)
|
||||||
|
print("Created: leave_a_review_twitter.png")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# ── MAIN ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def main():
|
||||||
|
os.makedirs(OUT_DIR, exist_ok=True)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n=== X Launch Campaign Assets ===\n")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("--- Header ---")
|
||||||
|
make_header()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n--- Quote Cards ---")
|
||||||
|
for i, q in enumerate(QUOTES):
|
||||||
|
make_quote_square(q, i)
|
||||||
|
make_quote_landscape(q, i)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n--- Welcome to the Show ---")
|
||||||
|
make_welcome_square()
|
||||||
|
make_welcome_landscape()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n--- Leave a Review ---")
|
||||||
|
make_review_square()
|
||||||
|
make_review_landscape()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(f"\nAll assets saved to: {OUT_DIR}/")
|
||||||
|
print(f"Total files: {len(os.listdir(OUT_DIR))}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if __name__ == "__main__":
|
||||||
|
main()
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,271 @@
|
|||||||
|
#!/usr/bin/env python3
|
||||||
|
"""Post 1000 downloads milestone to all social platforms via Postiz."""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import os
|
||||||
|
import sys
|
||||||
|
from datetime import datetime, timezone
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import requests
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Load .env
|
||||||
|
env_path = Path(__file__).parent / ".env"
|
||||||
|
if env_path.exists():
|
||||||
|
for line in env_path.read_text().splitlines():
|
||||||
|
line = line.strip()
|
||||||
|
if line and not line.startswith("#") and "=" in line:
|
||||||
|
key, _, value = line.partition("=")
|
||||||
|
os.environ.setdefault(key.strip(), value.strip())
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
POSTIZ_API_KEY = os.getenv("POSTIZ_API_KEY")
|
||||||
|
POSTIZ_URL = os.getenv("POSTIZ_URL", "https://social.lukeattheroost.com")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
IMAGE_PATH = Path(__file__).parent / "social_posts" / "1000_milestone" / "main_1000_celebration.jpg"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_api_url(path: str) -> str:
|
||||||
|
return f"{POSTIZ_URL.rstrip('/')}/api/public/v1{path}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def api_headers() -> dict:
|
||||||
|
return {"Authorization": POSTIZ_API_KEY, "Content-Type": "application/json"}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def fetch_integrations() -> list[dict]:
|
||||||
|
resp = requests.get(get_api_url("/integrations"), headers=api_headers(), timeout=15)
|
||||||
|
if resp.status_code != 200:
|
||||||
|
print(f"Error fetching integrations: {resp.status_code} {resp.text[:200]}")
|
||||||
|
sys.exit(1)
|
||||||
|
return resp.json()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def find_integration(integrations: list[dict], provider: str) -> dict | None:
|
||||||
|
for integ in integrations:
|
||||||
|
if integ.get("identifier", "").startswith(provider) and not integ.get("disabled"):
|
||||||
|
return integ
|
||||||
|
return None
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def upload_image(file_path: Path) -> dict:
|
||||||
|
headers = {"Authorization": POSTIZ_API_KEY}
|
||||||
|
mime = "image/jpeg" if file_path.suffix.lower() in (".jpg", ".jpeg") else "image/png"
|
||||||
|
with open(file_path, "rb") as f:
|
||||||
|
resp = requests.post(
|
||||||
|
get_api_url("/upload"),
|
||||||
|
headers=headers,
|
||||||
|
files={"file": (file_path.name, f, mime)},
|
||||||
|
timeout=60,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
if resp.status_code not in (200, 201):
|
||||||
|
print(f"Upload failed: {resp.status_code} {resp.text[:200]}")
|
||||||
|
return {}
|
||||||
|
return resp.json()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def create_post(integration_id: str, content: str, media: dict, settings: dict) -> dict:
|
||||||
|
date = datetime.now(timezone.utc).strftime("%Y-%m-%dT%H:%M:%S.000Z")
|
||||||
|
payload = {
|
||||||
|
"type": "now",
|
||||||
|
"date": date,
|
||||||
|
"shortLink": False,
|
||||||
|
"tags": [],
|
||||||
|
"posts": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"integration": {"id": integration_id},
|
||||||
|
"value": [{"content": content, "image": [media] if media else []}],
|
||||||
|
"settings": settings,
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
],
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
resp = requests.post(get_api_url("/posts"), headers=api_headers(), json=payload, timeout=30)
|
||||||
|
if resp.status_code not in (200, 201):
|
||||||
|
print(f" Post failed: {resp.status_code} {resp.text[:300]}")
|
||||||
|
return {}
|
||||||
|
return resp.json()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# --- Post content per platform ---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
POSTS = {
|
||||||
|
"instagram": {
|
||||||
|
"content": """1,000 downloads in one month. 🎙️
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
27 episodes. 200+ callers. 111 unique characters. 13 returning regulars.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Luke at the Roost is a late-night call-in show where AI-generated characters phone in with their problems — relationship drama, moral dilemmas, conspiracy theories, drunk confessions — and I give them real advice, live.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Every caller has a unique voice, a backstory, and a reason for calling. Some of them keep calling back.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Thank you to everyone who's tuned in. This thing was supposed to be a weird experiment. Now it's a weird experiment that 1,000 people have listened to.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
New episodes daily. Link in bio.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#podcast #ai #artificialintelligence #sideproject #indieproject #podcastlife #latenightradio #callinshow #milestone #1000downloads""",
|
||||||
|
"settings": {"__type": "instagram", "post_type": "post", "collaborators": []},
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"facebook": {
|
||||||
|
"content": """🎙️ MILESTONE: 1,000 Downloads
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
One month ago I launched a weird experiment — a late-night call-in radio show where AI-generated characters phone in with their problems, and I give them real advice.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
27 episodes later, 200+ callers have phoned in. Some of them keep calling back. Listeners have favorites. People genuinely care about what happens to these characters.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Thank you to every single person who gave this a listen. It started as a side project and it's become something I look forward to every day.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Listen free: lukeattheroost.com
|
||||||
|
Call in for real: 208-439-LUKE""",
|
||||||
|
"settings": {"__type": "facebook"},
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"threads": {
|
||||||
|
"content": """1,000 downloads in one month. 🎙️
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
27 episodes. 200+ callers. 111 unique characters. 13 returning regulars.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Luke at the Roost is a late-night call-in show where AI-generated characters phone in with their problems and I give them real advice, live.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Thank you to everyone who's tuned in. This weird experiment just hit a milestone.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
lukeattheroost.com
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#podcast #ai #sideproject #1000downloads""",
|
||||||
|
"settings": {"__type": "threads"},
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"linkedin": {
|
||||||
|
"content": """1,000 downloads in 30 days — here's what I learned building an AI radio show
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
A month ago I launched Luke at the Roost, a late-night call-in radio show where every caller is an AI-generated character. I'm the host. They phone in with problems. I give them advice. Every conversation is improvised.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
27 episodes and 200+ callers later, the show just hit 1,000 downloads.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Some things that surprised me:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
People connect with AI characters. Listeners have favorites. They ask about regulars by name. When a caller's story evolves across episodes, people notice and care. The characters aren't real, but the emotional engagement is.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Constraints drive creativity. Each caller gets a token budget based on their personality type. Emotional callers get more room to ramble. Gossip callers are quick and punchy. This artificial constraint mirrors how real people actually talk — and it makes every call feel distinct.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The tech is the easy part. LLMs, voice synthesis, audio routing — that's engineering. The hard part is being a good host. Knowing when to push, when to listen, when to make a joke. AI handles the callers. The human skill is the conversation.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The full technical breakdown: lukeattheroost.com/how-it-works
|
||||||
|
Listen: lukeattheroost.com
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Thank you to everyone who gave this weird experiment a chance.""",
|
||||||
|
"settings": {"__type": "linkedin"},
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"mastodon": {
|
||||||
|
"content": """1,000 downloads. 27 episodes. 200+ AI callers given advice on everything from breakups to fish consciousness.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Luke at the Roost hit a milestone today and I just want to say thank you to everyone who's been listening.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This whole thing is self-hosted end-to-end — Castopod on a QNAP NAS, Cloudflare CDN, custom Python pipeline for recording, post-production, and publishing. No big platforms in the loop.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
If you haven't heard it: it's a late-night call-in show. AI characters phone in. I talk to them live. It's improvised, weird, and somehow heartfelt.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
https://lukeattheroost.com""",
|
||||||
|
"settings": {"__type": "mastodon"},
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"tiktok": {
|
||||||
|
"content": """1,000 downloads in one month 🎙️
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
27 episodes. 200+ AI callers. 13 returning regulars.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Luke at the Roost — a late-night call-in show where AI characters phone in with their problems and I give them real advice, live.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Thank you to everyone listening.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#podcast #ai #artificialintelligence #sideproject #latenightradio #callinshow #1000downloads""",
|
||||||
|
"settings": {
|
||||||
|
"__type": "tiktok",
|
||||||
|
"privacy_level": "PUBLIC_TO_EVERYONE",
|
||||||
|
"duet": False,
|
||||||
|
"stitch": False,
|
||||||
|
"comment": True,
|
||||||
|
"autoAddMusic": "no",
|
||||||
|
"brand_content_toggle": False,
|
||||||
|
"brand_organic_toggle": False,
|
||||||
|
"content_posting_method": "DIRECT_POST",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"nostr": {
|
||||||
|
"content": """1,000 downloads. 27 episodes. 200+ AI callers given advice.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Luke at the Roost just hit a milestone. Thank you to everyone listening.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It's a late-night call-in show where AI-generated characters phone in with their problems and I give them real advice, live. Every conversation is improvised.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
https://lukeattheroost.com""",
|
||||||
|
"settings": {"__type": "nostr"},
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def main():
|
||||||
|
dry_run = "--dry-run" in sys.argv
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if not POSTIZ_API_KEY:
|
||||||
|
print("Error: POSTIZ_API_KEY not set")
|
||||||
|
sys.exit(1)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if not IMAGE_PATH.exists():
|
||||||
|
print(f"Error: Image not found at {IMAGE_PATH}")
|
||||||
|
sys.exit(1)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("Fetching connected accounts from Postiz...")
|
||||||
|
integrations = fetch_integrations()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
available = {}
|
||||||
|
for platform in POSTS:
|
||||||
|
integ = find_integration(integrations, platform)
|
||||||
|
if integ:
|
||||||
|
available[platform] = integ
|
||||||
|
print(f" ✓ {platform}: {integ.get('name', 'connected')}")
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
print(f" ✗ {platform}: not connected, skipping")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if not available:
|
||||||
|
print("\nNo platforms available!")
|
||||||
|
sys.exit(1)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(f"\nWill post to {len(available)} platform(s) with image: {IMAGE_PATH.name}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if dry_run:
|
||||||
|
print("\n--- DRY RUN ---")
|
||||||
|
for platform in available:
|
||||||
|
print(f"\n[{platform.upper()}]")
|
||||||
|
print(POSTS[platform]["content"][:200] + "...")
|
||||||
|
print("\nDry run complete — nothing posted.")
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Upload image once
|
||||||
|
print(f"\nUploading image...")
|
||||||
|
media = upload_image(IMAGE_PATH)
|
||||||
|
if not media:
|
||||||
|
print("Failed to upload image, aborting")
|
||||||
|
sys.exit(1)
|
||||||
|
print(f" Uploaded: {media.get('path', 'ok')}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Post to each platform
|
||||||
|
results = {}
|
||||||
|
for platform, integ in available.items():
|
||||||
|
post_data = POSTS[platform]
|
||||||
|
print(f"\nPosting to {platform}...")
|
||||||
|
result = create_post(integ["id"], post_data["content"], media, post_data["settings"])
|
||||||
|
if result:
|
||||||
|
print(f" ✓ {platform}: Posted!")
|
||||||
|
results[platform] = True
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
print(f" ✗ {platform}: Failed")
|
||||||
|
results[platform] = False
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Summary
|
||||||
|
succeeded = [p for p, ok in results.items() if ok]
|
||||||
|
failed = [p for p, ok in results.items() if not ok]
|
||||||
|
print(f"\n{'='*40}")
|
||||||
|
print(f"Posted to {len(succeeded)}/{len(results)} platforms")
|
||||||
|
if succeeded:
|
||||||
|
print(f" ✓ {', '.join(succeeded)}")
|
||||||
|
if failed:
|
||||||
|
print(f" ✗ {', '.join(failed)}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if __name__ == "__main__":
|
||||||
|
main()
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,55 @@
|
|||||||
|
# Press Release
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
## New Podcast "Luke at the Roost" Blends AI-Generated Callers with Live Radio Format, Creating a One-of-a-Kind Late-Night Show
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
*Every caller is a unique AI character with a full backstory, personality, and speaking style — and real listeners can call in too*
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Lordsburg, NM — February 27, 2026** — "Luke at the Roost," a late-night call-in talk show hosted by Luke MacNeil, is redefining what a podcast can be by combining real-time AI-generated callers with traditional live radio. Now 23 episodes in, the show has built a loyal following with its unpredictable conversations, genuine emotional depth, and a cast of characters that listeners have come to know by name.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### A New Kind of Call-In Show
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Unlike traditional podcasts that rely on scripted segments or pre-recorded interviews, Luke at the Roost generates every AI caller in real time. Each one arrives with a complete identity — name, age, job, hometown, speaking style, and a specific reason for calling. Some are nervous first-timers. Others are regulars who remember past conversations and reference previous episodes. The result is a show that feels like tuning into a real late-night radio station in the American Southwest.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"The whole point is that these conversations feel real," said MacNeil. "The AI doesn't read from a script. Neither do I. We're just two people talking, and sometimes it goes somewhere neither of us expected."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Real Callers Welcome
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The show isn't AI-only. Real listeners can call in live at **208-439-LUKE (208-439-5853)** or email submissions@lukeattheroost.com. The mix of AI-generated and human callers creates an atmosphere where the line between the two becomes part of the fun.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Built from Scratch
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The entire technical infrastructure — from the AI caller generator with over 1,000 unique calling reasons, to the multi-track recording system, voice synthesis pipeline, and automated post-production — was built custom by MacNeil. Episodes go through professional-grade audio processing including compression, music ducking, stereo mixing, and broadcast-standard loudness normalization before being automatically published to all major podcast platforms.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Where to Listen
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Luke at the Roost is available on all major podcast platforms:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
- **Website**: https://lukeattheroost.com
|
||||||
|
- **Spotify**: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZrpMigG1fo0CCN7F4YmuF
|
||||||
|
- **Apple Podcasts**: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-at-the-roost/id1875205848
|
||||||
|
- **YouTube**: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryGLifMBTY&list=PLGq4uZyNV1yYH_rcitTTPVysPbC6-7pe-
|
||||||
|
- **Discord**: https://discord.gg/5CnQZxDM
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### About MacNeil Media Group
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
MacNeil Media Group is an independent media company focused on experimental audio and AI-driven content. Luke at the Roost is its flagship production.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Media Contact
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Luke MacNeil
|
||||||
|
luke@lukeattheroost.com
|
||||||
|
https://lukeattheroost.com
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
### Summary (for submission forms)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Headline**: New Podcast "Luke at the Roost" Blends AI-Generated Callers with Live Radio Format
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Summary (short)**: Luke at the Roost is a late-night call-in talk show where every caller is a unique AI-generated character with a full backstory and personality. Real listeners can call in too. 23 episodes in, the show has built a following with its unpredictable conversations and genuine emotional depth.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Category**: Entertainment / Technology / Podcasting
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
**Tags**: podcast, AI, artificial intelligence, late-night radio, call-in show, talk show, entertainment technology, indie podcast, New Mexico
|
||||||
+56
-29
@@ -244,6 +244,34 @@ TRANSCRIPT:
|
|||||||
return result
|
return result
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Recurring show names Whisper reliably mishears. LightningWhisperMLX takes no
|
||||||
|
# initial_prompt (its transcribe() signature is just audio_path + language), so
|
||||||
|
# unlike make_clips.py we cannot condition the model on these up front — they
|
||||||
|
# have to be corrected afterwards. "Devin" reached 21 of 58 published
|
||||||
|
# transcripts before this existed.
|
||||||
|
PROPER_NOUN_FIXES = {
|
||||||
|
"devin": "Devon",
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def fix_proper_nouns(text: str) -> str:
|
||||||
|
"""Correct known Whisper mishearings, preserving the original casing style."""
|
||||||
|
if not text:
|
||||||
|
return ""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _sub(match):
|
||||||
|
word = match.group(0)
|
||||||
|
correct = PROPER_NOUN_FIXES[word.lower()]
|
||||||
|
if word.isupper():
|
||||||
|
return correct.upper()
|
||||||
|
if word.islower():
|
||||||
|
return correct.lower()
|
||||||
|
return correct
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
pattern = r"\b(" + "|".join(PROPER_NOUN_FIXES) + r")\b"
|
||||||
|
return re.sub(pattern, _sub, text, flags=re.IGNORECASE)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def transcribe_audio(audio_path: str) -> dict:
|
def transcribe_audio(audio_path: str) -> dict:
|
||||||
"""Transcribe audio using Lightning Whisper MLX (Apple Silicon GPU)."""
|
"""Transcribe audio using Lightning Whisper MLX (Apple Silicon GPU)."""
|
||||||
print(f"[1/5] Transcribing {audio_path} (MLX GPU)...")
|
print(f"[1/5] Transcribing {audio_path} (MLX GPU)...")
|
||||||
@@ -268,12 +296,13 @@ def transcribe_audio(audio_path: str) -> dict:
|
|||||||
|
|
||||||
for segment in result.get("segments", []):
|
for segment in result.get("segments", []):
|
||||||
start_ms, end_ms, text = segment[0], segment[1], segment[2]
|
start_ms, end_ms, text = segment[0], segment[1], segment[2]
|
||||||
|
text = fix_proper_nouns(text.strip())
|
||||||
transcript_segments.append({
|
transcript_segments.append({
|
||||||
"start": start_ms / 1000.0,
|
"start": start_ms / 1000.0,
|
||||||
"end": end_ms / 1000.0,
|
"end": end_ms / 1000.0,
|
||||||
"text": text.strip()
|
"text": text
|
||||||
})
|
})
|
||||||
full_text.append(text.strip())
|
full_text.append(text)
|
||||||
print(f" Transcribed {duration} seconds of audio ({len(transcript_segments)} segments)")
|
print(f" Transcribed {duration} seconds of audio ({len(transcript_segments)} segments)")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
return {
|
return {
|
||||||
@@ -974,32 +1003,29 @@ def sync_episode_media_to_bunny(episode_id: int, already_uploaded: set):
|
|||||||
Path(tmp_path).unlink(missing_ok=True)
|
Path(tmp_path).unlink(missing_ok=True)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def add_episode_to_sitemap(slug: str):
|
def regenerate_website_pages() -> bool:
|
||||||
"""Add episode transcript page to sitemap.xml."""
|
"""Rebuild the static episode pages and sitemap after a publish.
|
||||||
sitemap_path = Path(__file__).parent / "website" / "sitemap.xml"
|
|
||||||
if not sitemap_path.exists():
|
|
||||||
return
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
url = f"https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug={slug}"
|
Never fatal. By the time this runs the audio is already live on Castopod
|
||||||
content = sitemap_path.read_text()
|
and the RSS feed has been rebuilt, so a generator failure must not abort
|
||||||
|
the publish — it just means the new episode's page lands on the next run.
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
script = Path(__file__).parent / "generate_episode_pages.py"
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
result = subprocess.run(
|
||||||
|
[sys.executable, str(script), "--sitemap"],
|
||||||
|
capture_output=True, text=True, timeout=300,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
except (subprocess.TimeoutExpired, OSError) as e:
|
||||||
|
print(f" Warning: could not run episode page generation: {e}")
|
||||||
|
return False
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
if url in content:
|
if result.returncode != 0:
|
||||||
print(f" Episode already in sitemap")
|
print(f" Warning: episode page generation failed: {result.stderr[-300:]}")
|
||||||
return
|
return False
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
today = datetime.now().strftime("%Y-%m-%d")
|
|
||||||
new_entry = f""" <url>
|
|
||||||
<loc>{url}</loc>
|
|
||||||
<lastmod>{today}</lastmod>
|
|
||||||
<changefreq>never</changefreq>
|
|
||||||
<priority>0.7</priority>
|
|
||||||
</url>
|
|
||||||
</urlset>"""
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
content = content.replace("</urlset>", new_entry)
|
|
||||||
sitemap_path.write_text(content)
|
|
||||||
print(f" Added episode to sitemap.xml")
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(" Episode pages and sitemap regenerated")
|
||||||
|
return True
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def generate_social_image(episode_number: int, description: str, output_path: str) -> str:
|
def generate_social_image(episode_number: int, description: str, output_path: str) -> str:
|
||||||
@@ -1266,7 +1292,7 @@ def post_to_social(metadata: dict, episode_slug: str, image_path: str = None,
|
|||||||
if media and media.get("id"):
|
if media and media.get("id"):
|
||||||
image_ids = [{"id": media["id"], "path": media.get("path", "")}]
|
image_ids = [{"id": media["id"], "path": media.get("path", "")}]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
episode_url = f"https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug={episode_slug}"
|
episode_url = f"https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/{episode_slug}/"
|
||||||
yt_url = f"https://youtube.com/watch?v={yt_video_id}" if yt_video_id else None
|
yt_url = f"https://youtube.com/watch?v={yt_video_id}" if yt_video_id else None
|
||||||
now = datetime.now(timezone.utc)
|
now = datetime.now(timezone.utc)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
@@ -1468,7 +1494,7 @@ def upload_to_youtube(audio_path: str, metadata: dict, chapters: list,
|
|||||||
ts = f"{h}:{m:02d}:{s:02d}" if h > 0 else f"{m}:{s:02d}"
|
ts = f"{h}:{m:02d}:{s:02d}" if h > 0 else f"{m}:{s:02d}"
|
||||||
chapter_lines.append(f"{ts} {ch['title']}")
|
chapter_lines.append(f"{ts} {ch['title']}")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
episode_url = f"https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug={episode_slug}"
|
episode_url = f"https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/{episode_slug}/"
|
||||||
description = (
|
description = (
|
||||||
f"{metadata['description']}\n\n"
|
f"{metadata['description']}\n\n"
|
||||||
+ "\n".join(chapter_lines) + "\n\n"
|
+ "\n".join(chapter_lines) + "\n\n"
|
||||||
@@ -1845,8 +1871,9 @@ def main():
|
|||||||
shutil.copy2(str(transcript_path), str(website_transcript_path))
|
shutil.copy2(str(transcript_path), str(website_transcript_path))
|
||||||
print(f" Transcript copied to website/transcripts/")
|
print(f" Transcript copied to website/transcripts/")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
# Add to sitemap
|
# Build this episode's static page and regenerate the sitemap wholesale.
|
||||||
add_episode_to_sitemap(episode["slug"])
|
# generate_episode_pages.py is the only writer of sitemap.xml.
|
||||||
|
regenerate_website_pages()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
# Sync any remaining episode media to BunnyCDN (cover art, etc.)
|
# Sync any remaining episode media to BunnyCDN (cover art, etc.)
|
||||||
print(" Syncing remaining episode media to CDN...")
|
print(" Syncing remaining episode media to CDN...")
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,159 @@
|
|||||||
|
-- Bleep Selection — censor a time range on the selected track(s)
|
||||||
|
--
|
||||||
|
-- Replaces the audio inside the time selection with a 1kHz tone rather than
|
||||||
|
-- muting it. Muted regions read as silence to strip_silence_dialog.lua
|
||||||
|
-- (SILENCE_DB -30, thresholds 5-6s), so a muted bleep over a slowly-read phone
|
||||||
|
-- number can get stripped and shift everything after it out of sync. A tone at
|
||||||
|
-- TONE_GAIN_DB is nowhere near -30, so the silence pass leaves it alone.
|
||||||
|
--
|
||||||
|
-- Usage: make a time selection over the digits, select the track, run.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||||||
|
-- SETTINGS
|
||||||
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||||||
|
local TONE_GAIN_DB = 0.0 -- adjust bleep level; file is generated at -15 dBFS
|
||||||
|
local FADE_MS = 4.0 -- fade in/out on the tone, prevents clicks
|
||||||
|
local TONE_FILE = "bleep_1khz.wav" -- 60s 1kHz sine @48k, sits next to this script
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local EPS = 1e-9
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function script_dir()
|
||||||
|
local src = debug.getinfo(1, "S").source
|
||||||
|
return src:match("@?(.*[/\\])") or ""
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function items_on(track)
|
||||||
|
local t = {}
|
||||||
|
for i = 0, reaper.CountTrackMediaItems(track) - 1 do
|
||||||
|
t[#t + 1] = reaper.GetTrackMediaItem(track, i)
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
return t
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function item_bounds(item)
|
||||||
|
local pos = reaper.GetMediaItemInfo_Value(item, "D_POSITION")
|
||||||
|
return pos, pos + reaper.GetMediaItemInfo_Value(item, "D_LENGTH")
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
-- Split every item crossing either edge so the range is cleanly separable
|
||||||
|
local function split_at_edges(track, sel_start, sel_end)
|
||||||
|
for _, item in ipairs(items_on(track)) do
|
||||||
|
local pos, fin = item_bounds(item)
|
||||||
|
if fin > sel_start + EPS and pos < sel_end - EPS then
|
||||||
|
local right = item
|
||||||
|
if pos < sel_start - EPS then
|
||||||
|
right = reaper.SplitMediaItem(item, sel_start)
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
if right then
|
||||||
|
local rpos, rfin = item_bounds(right)
|
||||||
|
if rfin > sel_end + EPS and rpos < sel_end - EPS then
|
||||||
|
reaper.SplitMediaItem(right, sel_end)
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function delete_inside(track, sel_start, sel_end)
|
||||||
|
local removed = 0
|
||||||
|
for _, item in ipairs(items_on(track)) do
|
||||||
|
local pos, fin = item_bounds(item)
|
||||||
|
if pos >= sel_start - EPS and fin <= sel_end + EPS then
|
||||||
|
reaper.DeleteTrackMediaItem(track, item)
|
||||||
|
removed = removed + 1
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
return removed
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
-- Build the item directly rather than via InsertMedia(): InsertMedia behaves
|
||||||
|
-- like the user-facing "insert media file" action — it obeys ripple editing
|
||||||
|
-- (shifting other tracks), can spawn a new track, and moves the edit cursor.
|
||||||
|
-- AddMediaItemToTrack touches nothing but this track.
|
||||||
|
local function insert_tone(track, sel_start, sel_len, tone_source)
|
||||||
|
local item = reaper.AddMediaItemToTrack(track)
|
||||||
|
if not item then return nil end
|
||||||
|
local take = reaper.AddTakeToMediaItem(item)
|
||||||
|
if not take then return nil end
|
||||||
|
reaper.SetMediaItemTake_Source(take, tone_source)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
reaper.SetMediaItemInfo_Value(item, "D_POSITION", sel_start)
|
||||||
|
reaper.SetMediaItemInfo_Value(item, "D_LENGTH", sel_len)
|
||||||
|
reaper.SetMediaItemInfo_Value(item, "B_LOOPSRC", 0)
|
||||||
|
reaper.SetMediaItemInfo_Value(item, "D_VOL", 10 ^ (TONE_GAIN_DB / 20))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local fade = math.min(FADE_MS / 1000, sel_len / 2)
|
||||||
|
reaper.SetMediaItemInfo_Value(item, "D_FADEINLEN", fade)
|
||||||
|
reaper.SetMediaItemInfo_Value(item, "D_FADEOUTLEN", fade)
|
||||||
|
return item
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function main()
|
||||||
|
local sel_start, sel_end = reaper.GetSet_LoopTimeRange(false, false, 0, 0, false)
|
||||||
|
local sel_len = sel_end - sel_start
|
||||||
|
if sel_len <= 0 then
|
||||||
|
reaper.ShowMessageBox("Make a time selection over the audio to bleep.", "Bleep Selection", 0)
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local n_tracks = reaper.CountSelectedTracks(0)
|
||||||
|
if n_tracks == 0 then
|
||||||
|
reaper.ShowMessageBox("Select the track to bleep.", "Bleep Selection", 0)
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local tone_path = script_dir() .. TONE_FILE
|
||||||
|
local f = io.open(tone_path, "rb")
|
||||||
|
if not f then
|
||||||
|
reaper.ShowMessageBox("Tone file not found:\n" .. tone_path, "Bleep Selection", 0)
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
f:close()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local tone_source = reaper.PCM_Source_CreateFromFile(tone_path)
|
||||||
|
if not tone_source then
|
||||||
|
reaper.ShowMessageBox("Could not load tone file:\n" .. tone_path, "Bleep Selection", 0)
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local targets = {}
|
||||||
|
for i = 0, n_tracks - 1 do
|
||||||
|
targets[#targets + 1] = reaper.GetSelectedTrack(0, i)
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
reaper.Undo_BeginBlock()
|
||||||
|
reaper.PreventUIRefresh(1)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
-- Ripple editing would shift unrelated items (and other tracks) when items
|
||||||
|
-- are removed. Force it off for the duration, restore the user's mode after.
|
||||||
|
local ripple_per_track = reaper.GetToggleCommandStateEx(0, 40310) == 1
|
||||||
|
local ripple_all = reaper.GetToggleCommandStateEx(0, 40311) == 1
|
||||||
|
if ripple_per_track or ripple_all then
|
||||||
|
reaper.Main_OnCommand(40309, 0) -- ripple editing off
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local bleeped = 0
|
||||||
|
for _, track in ipairs(targets) do
|
||||||
|
split_at_edges(track, sel_start, sel_end)
|
||||||
|
delete_inside(track, sel_start, sel_end)
|
||||||
|
if insert_tone(track, sel_start, sel_len, tone_source) then
|
||||||
|
bleeped = bleeped + 1
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if ripple_all then
|
||||||
|
reaper.Main_OnCommand(40311, 0)
|
||||||
|
elseif ripple_per_track then
|
||||||
|
reaper.Main_OnCommand(40310, 0)
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
reaper.PreventUIRefresh(-1)
|
||||||
|
reaper.UpdateArrange()
|
||||||
|
reaper.Undo_EndBlock(string.format("Bleep %.2fs on %d track(s)", sel_len, bleeped), -1)
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
main()
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,219 @@
|
|||||||
|
-- Stub harness for reaper/bleep_selection.lua
|
||||||
|
-- Models tracks/items in memory and asserts the split/delete/insert behaviour.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local SCRIPT = (debug.getinfo(1,"S").source:match("@?(.*[/\\])") or "") .. "bleep_selection.lua"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function new_item(pos, len, tag)
|
||||||
|
return { pos = pos, len = len, tag = tag or "audio", vol = 1, fin_ = 0, fout_ = 0 }
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local W -- world
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function make_reaper()
|
||||||
|
return {
|
||||||
|
CountTrackMediaItems = function(tr) return #tr.items end,
|
||||||
|
GetTrackMediaItem = function(tr, i) return tr.items[i + 1] end,
|
||||||
|
GetMediaItemInfo_Value = function(it, k)
|
||||||
|
if k == "D_POSITION" then return it.pos end
|
||||||
|
if k == "D_LENGTH" then return it.len end
|
||||||
|
return 0
|
||||||
|
end,
|
||||||
|
SetMediaItemInfo_Value = function(it, k, v)
|
||||||
|
if k == "D_POSITION" then it.pos = v
|
||||||
|
elseif k == "D_LENGTH" then it.len = v
|
||||||
|
elseif k == "D_VOL" then it.vol = v
|
||||||
|
elseif k == "D_FADEINLEN" then it.fin_ = v
|
||||||
|
elseif k == "D_FADEOUTLEN" then it.fout_ = v end
|
||||||
|
end,
|
||||||
|
SplitMediaItem = function(it, at)
|
||||||
|
local tr
|
||||||
|
for _, t in ipairs(W.tracks) do
|
||||||
|
for idx, x in ipairs(t.items) do if x == it then tr = t; it_idx = idx end end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
if not tr then return nil end
|
||||||
|
if at <= it.pos or at >= it.pos + it.len then return nil end
|
||||||
|
local right = new_item(at, it.pos + it.len - at, it.tag)
|
||||||
|
it.len = at - it.pos
|
||||||
|
local pos_in = 0
|
||||||
|
for idx, x in ipairs(tr.items) do if x == it then pos_in = idx end end
|
||||||
|
table.insert(tr.items, pos_in + 1, right)
|
||||||
|
W.splits = W.splits + 1
|
||||||
|
return right
|
||||||
|
end,
|
||||||
|
DeleteTrackMediaItem = function(tr, it)
|
||||||
|
for idx, x in ipairs(tr.items) do
|
||||||
|
if x == it then table.remove(tr.items, idx); W.deletes = W.deletes + 1; return true end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
return false
|
||||||
|
end,
|
||||||
|
InsertMedia = function() W.forbidden["InsertMedia"] = true; return 1 end,
|
||||||
|
GetSelectedMediaItem = function(_, _) return W.last_inserted end,
|
||||||
|
SetOnlyTrackSelected = function(tr) W.forbidden["SetOnlyTrackSelected"] = true end,
|
||||||
|
SetTrackSelected = function() W.forbidden["SetTrackSelected"] = true end,
|
||||||
|
SetEditCurPos = function(p) W.forbidden["SetEditCurPos"] = true end,
|
||||||
|
PCM_Source_CreateFromFile = function(path) W.src_path = path; return { src = path } end,
|
||||||
|
AddMediaItemToTrack = function(tr)
|
||||||
|
local it = new_item(0, 0, "tone"); table.insert(tr.items, it)
|
||||||
|
W.last_inserted = it; it.owner = tr; return it
|
||||||
|
end,
|
||||||
|
AddTakeToMediaItem = function(it) it.take = { item = it }; return it.take end,
|
||||||
|
SetMediaItemTake_Source = function(take, src) take.src = src end,
|
||||||
|
GetToggleCommandStateEx = function(_, cmd) return W.ripple[cmd] and 1 or 0 end,
|
||||||
|
Main_OnCommand = function(cmd) W.commands[#W.commands + 1] = cmd end,
|
||||||
|
GetSet_LoopTimeRange = function() return W.sel_start, W.sel_end end,
|
||||||
|
CountSelectedTracks = function() return #W.sel_tracks end,
|
||||||
|
GetSelectedTrack = function(_, i) return W.sel_tracks[i + 1] end,
|
||||||
|
Undo_BeginBlock = function() end,
|
||||||
|
Undo_EndBlock = function(desc) W.undo = desc end,
|
||||||
|
PreventUIRefresh = function() end,
|
||||||
|
UpdateArrange = function() end,
|
||||||
|
ShowMessageBox = function(msg) W.msg = msg end,
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function run(setup)
|
||||||
|
W = { tracks = {}, sel_tracks = {}, splits = 0, deletes = 0,
|
||||||
|
inserted_paths = {}, edit_cur = 0, msg = nil, undo = nil,
|
||||||
|
forbidden = {}, ripple = {}, commands = {} }
|
||||||
|
setup(W)
|
||||||
|
reaper = make_reaper()
|
||||||
|
local fn = assert(loadfile(SCRIPT))
|
||||||
|
fn()
|
||||||
|
return W
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function track(items)
|
||||||
|
local t = { items = {} }
|
||||||
|
for _, it in ipairs(items) do t.items[#t.items + 1] = new_item(it[1], it[2]) end
|
||||||
|
return t
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local pass, fail = 0, 0
|
||||||
|
local function check(name, cond, detail)
|
||||||
|
if cond then pass = pass + 1; print((" PASS %s"):format(name))
|
||||||
|
else fail = fail + 1; print((" FAIL %s -- %s"):format(name, detail or "")) end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
local function layout(tr)
|
||||||
|
local s = {}
|
||||||
|
for _, it in ipairs(tr.items) do
|
||||||
|
s[#s + 1] = ("%s[%.2f..%.2f]"):format(it.tag == "tone" and "T" or "A", it.pos, it.pos + it.len)
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
return table.concat(s, " ")
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n1) Selection inside one long item -> split x2, middle deleted, tone inserted")
|
||||||
|
local w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local t = track({ {0, 30} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { t }; W.sel_tracks = { t }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
local t1 = w.tracks[1]
|
||||||
|
check("two splits", w.splits == 2, "splits=" .. w.splits)
|
||||||
|
check("one delete", w.deletes == 1, "deletes=" .. w.deletes)
|
||||||
|
check("tone inserted", w.last_inserted ~= nil)
|
||||||
|
check("tone spans selection", math.abs(w.last_inserted.pos - 10) < 1e-6
|
||||||
|
and math.abs(w.last_inserted.len - 5) < 1e-6,
|
||||||
|
("pos=%.3f len=%.3f"):format(w.last_inserted.pos, w.last_inserted.len))
|
||||||
|
check("fades applied", w.last_inserted.fin_ > 0 and w.last_inserted.fout_ > 0)
|
||||||
|
check("no audio left inside range", (function()
|
||||||
|
for _, it in ipairs(t1.items) do
|
||||||
|
if it.tag == "audio" and it.pos >= 10 - 1e-6 and it.pos + it.len <= 15 + 1e-6 then return false end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
return true
|
||||||
|
end)())
|
||||||
|
print(" layout: " .. layout(t1))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n2) Item entirely inside selection -> deleted outright")
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local t = track({ {11, 2} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { t }; W.sel_tracks = { t }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
check("no splits needed", w.splits == 0, "splits=" .. w.splits)
|
||||||
|
check("deleted", w.deletes == 1, "deletes=" .. w.deletes)
|
||||||
|
print(" layout: " .. layout(w.tracks[1]))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n3) Items straddling each edge only")
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local t = track({ {5, 7}, {13, 6} }) -- 5..12 and 13..19, selection 10..15
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { t }; W.sel_tracks = { t }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
local t3 = w.tracks[1]
|
||||||
|
check("split each straddler once", w.splits == 2, "splits=" .. w.splits)
|
||||||
|
check("both inner halves deleted", w.deletes == 2, "deletes=" .. w.deletes)
|
||||||
|
check("audio before survives", (function()
|
||||||
|
for _, it in ipairs(t3.items) do
|
||||||
|
if it.tag == "audio" and math.abs(it.pos - 5) < 1e-6 and math.abs(it.len - 5) < 1e-6 then return true end
|
||||||
|
end
|
||||||
|
return false
|
||||||
|
end)())
|
||||||
|
print(" layout: " .. layout(t3))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n4) Item entirely outside selection -> untouched")
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local t = track({ {20, 5} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { t }; W.sel_tracks = { t }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
check("no splits", w.splits == 0)
|
||||||
|
check("no deletes", w.deletes == 0)
|
||||||
|
check("still one audio item + tone", #w.tracks[1].items == 2, "n=" .. #w.tracks[1].items)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n5) Only the selected track is touched")
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local a, b = track({ {0, 30} }), track({ {0, 30} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { a, b }; W.sel_tracks = { a }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
check("other track untouched", #w.tracks[2].items == 1, "n=" .. #w.tracks[2].items)
|
||||||
|
check("selected track modified", #w.tracks[1].items > 1)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n6) Guard rails")
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local t = track({ {0, 30} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { t }; W.sel_tracks = { t }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 10 -- empty selection
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
check("aborts with message on empty selection", w.msg ~= nil and w.splits == 0, tostring(w.msg))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local t = track({ {0, 30} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { t }; W.sel_tracks = {}; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15 -- no track selected
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
check("aborts with message on no track", w.msg ~= nil and w.splits == 0, tostring(w.msg))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n7) Never uses project-wide / UI-level calls that move other tracks")
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local a, b = track({ {0, 30} }), track({ {0, 30} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { a, b }; W.sel_tracks = { a }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
check("no InsertMedia (ripples + can spawn tracks)", not w.forbidden["InsertMedia"])
|
||||||
|
check("does not move edit cursor", not w.forbidden["SetEditCurPos"])
|
||||||
|
check("does not change track selection", not w.forbidden["SetOnlyTrackSelected"]
|
||||||
|
and not w.forbidden["SetTrackSelected"])
|
||||||
|
check("built item from PCM source", w.src_path ~= nil and w.last_inserted.take ~= nil)
|
||||||
|
check("tone landed on the SELECTED track", w.last_inserted.owner == w.tracks[1])
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print("\n8) Ripple editing forced off, then restored")
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local t = track({ {0, 30} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { t }; W.sel_tracks = { t }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15
|
||||||
|
W.ripple[40311] = true -- user had "ripple all tracks" on
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
check("turned ripple off first", w.commands[1] == 40309, "cmds=" .. table.concat(w.commands, ","))
|
||||||
|
check("restored ripple-all after", w.commands[#w.commands] == 40311,
|
||||||
|
"cmds=" .. table.concat(w.commands, ","))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local t = track({ {0, 30} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { t }; W.sel_tracks = { t }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15
|
||||||
|
W.ripple[40310] = true -- per-track ripple
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
check("restored per-track ripple", w.commands[1] == 40309 and w.commands[#w.commands] == 40310,
|
||||||
|
"cmds=" .. table.concat(w.commands, ","))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
w = run(function(W)
|
||||||
|
local t = track({ {0, 30} })
|
||||||
|
W.tracks = { t }; W.sel_tracks = { t }; W.sel_start, W.sel_end = 10, 15
|
||||||
|
end)
|
||||||
|
check("ripple already off -> no mode changes at all", #w.commands == 0,
|
||||||
|
"cmds=" .. table.concat(w.commands, ","))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(("\n%d passed, %d failed\n"):format(pass, fail))
|
||||||
|
os.exit(fail == 0 and 0 or 1)
|
||||||
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ from dotenv import load_dotenv
|
|||||||
load_dotenv()
|
load_dotenv()
|
||||||
API_KEY = os.getenv("OPENROUTER_API_KEY")
|
API_KEY = os.getenv("OPENROUTER_API_KEY")
|
||||||
TRANSCRIPT_DIR = Path(__file__).parent / "website" / "transcripts"
|
TRANSCRIPT_DIR = Path(__file__).parent / "website" / "transcripts"
|
||||||
MODEL = "anthropic/claude-3.5-sonnet"
|
MODEL = "anthropic/claude-sonnet-4.6"
|
||||||
CHUNK_SIZE = 8000
|
CHUNK_SIZE = 8000
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
PROMPT = """Insert speaker labels into this radio show transcript. The show is "Luke at the Roost". The host is LUKE. Callers call in one at a time.
|
PROMPT = """Insert speaker labels into this radio show transcript. The show is "Luke at the Roost". The host is LUKE. Callers call in one at a time.
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,538 @@
|
|||||||
|
#!/usr/bin/env python3
|
||||||
|
"""Schedule the X/Twitter launch campaign posts via Postiz.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Schedules 2 weeks of posts from the growth strategy to @lukeattheroost.
|
||||||
|
All times are ET, converted to UTC for the Postiz API.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Usage:
|
||||||
|
python schedule_x_launch.py # schedule all posts
|
||||||
|
python schedule_x_launch.py --dry-run # preview without scheduling
|
||||||
|
python schedule_x_launch.py --week 1 # schedule week 1 only
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import argparse
|
||||||
|
import json
|
||||||
|
import os
|
||||||
|
import sys
|
||||||
|
import time
|
||||||
|
from datetime import datetime, timedelta, timezone
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import requests
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Load .env
|
||||||
|
env_path = Path(__file__).parent / ".env"
|
||||||
|
if env_path.exists():
|
||||||
|
for line in env_path.read_text().splitlines():
|
||||||
|
line = line.strip()
|
||||||
|
if line and not line.startswith("#") and "=" in line:
|
||||||
|
key, _, value = line.partition("=")
|
||||||
|
os.environ.setdefault(key.strip(), value.strip())
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
POSTIZ_API_KEY = os.getenv("POSTIZ_API_KEY")
|
||||||
|
POSTIZ_URL = os.getenv("POSTIZ_URL", "https://social.lukeattheroost.com")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
SCRIPT_DIR = Path(__file__).parent
|
||||||
|
X_INTEGRATION_ID = "cmlk4hi880001k76wbqjo21s0"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# ET = UTC-4 (EDT) in March 2026
|
||||||
|
ET_OFFSET = timedelta(hours=-4)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def et_to_utc(year, month, day, hour, minute=0):
|
||||||
|
"""Convert ET datetime to UTC ISO string for Postiz."""
|
||||||
|
et = datetime(year, month, day, hour, minute, tzinfo=timezone(ET_OFFSET))
|
||||||
|
utc = et.astimezone(timezone.utc)
|
||||||
|
return utc.strftime("%Y-%m-%dT%H:%M:%S.000Z")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def get_api_url(path):
|
||||||
|
return f"{POSTIZ_URL.rstrip('/')}/api/public/v1{path}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def api_headers():
|
||||||
|
return {"Authorization": POSTIZ_API_KEY, "Content-Type": "application/json"}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def upload_file(file_path):
|
||||||
|
headers = {"Authorization": POSTIZ_API_KEY}
|
||||||
|
suffix = file_path.suffix.lower()
|
||||||
|
if suffix == ".mp4":
|
||||||
|
mime = "video/mp4"
|
||||||
|
elif suffix in (".jpg", ".jpeg"):
|
||||||
|
mime = "image/jpeg"
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
mime = "image/png"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
with open(file_path, "rb") as f:
|
||||||
|
resp = requests.post(
|
||||||
|
get_api_url("/upload"),
|
||||||
|
headers=headers,
|
||||||
|
files={"file": (file_path.name, f, mime)},
|
||||||
|
timeout=120,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
if resp.status_code not in (200, 201):
|
||||||
|
print(f" Upload failed: {resp.status_code} {resp.text[:200]}")
|
||||||
|
return {}
|
||||||
|
return resp.json()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def schedule_post(content, media, schedule_time, retries=3):
|
||||||
|
payload = {
|
||||||
|
"type": "schedule",
|
||||||
|
"date": schedule_time,
|
||||||
|
"shortLink": False,
|
||||||
|
"tags": [],
|
||||||
|
"posts": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"integration": {"id": X_INTEGRATION_ID},
|
||||||
|
"value": [
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"content": content,
|
||||||
|
"image": [media] if media else [],
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
],
|
||||||
|
"settings": {"__type": "x", "who_can_reply_post": "everyone"},
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
],
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
for attempt in range(retries):
|
||||||
|
resp = requests.post(
|
||||||
|
get_api_url("/posts"),
|
||||||
|
headers=api_headers(),
|
||||||
|
json=payload,
|
||||||
|
timeout=30,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
if resp.status_code in (200, 201):
|
||||||
|
return resp.json()
|
||||||
|
if resp.status_code == 429 and attempt < retries - 1:
|
||||||
|
wait = 15 * (attempt + 1)
|
||||||
|
print(f"(rate limited, waiting {wait}s)...", end=" ", flush=True)
|
||||||
|
time.sleep(wait)
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
print(f" Schedule failed: {resp.status_code} {resp.text[:300]}")
|
||||||
|
return {}
|
||||||
|
return {}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# ── POST DEFINITIONS ─────────────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
# Day 1 = Monday March 17, 2026
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
WEEK_1 = [
|
||||||
|
# Day 1 — Monday March 17
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Mon-AM (pinned intro)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 17, 10),
|
||||||
|
"content": """Every caller on my show is AI-generated.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Every personality. Every voice. Every problem they call in about.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
But the conversations are real, the advice is real, and the chaos is very real.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
38 episodes. 200+ callers. A cult leader, a guy who opened paternity results live on air, and someone who faked cancer to skip a wedding.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This is Luke at the Roost.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
📞 208-439-LUKE (real humans can call in too)
|
||||||
|
🔗 lukeattheroost.com""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "website/images/cover.png",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Mon-PM (chili clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 17, 14),
|
||||||
|
"content": """A guy called in to talk about chili contest cheaters.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Turns out he was really calling about his failing marriage.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast #callinshow""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-37/clip-1-chili-contest-cheaters-marriage-troubles.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Mon-EVE (intro thread)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 17, 21),
|
||||||
|
"content": """People keep asking what Luke at the Roost is.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Short version:
|
||||||
|
→ AI characters call into my show with real problems
|
||||||
|
→ I give them actual advice
|
||||||
|
→ Everything goes off the rails
|
||||||
|
→ New episode every day
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
lukeattheroost.com""",
|
||||||
|
"media": None,
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 2 — Tuesday March 18
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Tue-AM (hospice clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 18, 12),
|
||||||
|
"content": """A caller's mom is in hospice. The nurse asked her to think about final conversations.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Her only wish? To see her kids eat cake together one last time.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-30/clip-2-mom-s-dying-wish-just-eat-cake-together.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Tue-PM (engagement)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 18, 19),
|
||||||
|
"content": """What's the wildest thing you've ever called into a radio show about?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
(Or wanted to but chickened out?)""",
|
||||||
|
"media": None,
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 3 — Wednesday March 19
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Wed-AM (cancer clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 19, 11),
|
||||||
|
"content": """This caller faked having cancer to get out of going to a wedding.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Then his friends staged a coffee enema intervention.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I can't make this up. (Well, the AI did.)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-32/clip-1-i-faked-cancer-to-skip-a-wedding.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Wed-PM (fakes clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 19, 16),
|
||||||
|
"content": """"Everybody is a fake. We're all fakes. Nobody knows what's going on and none of us deserve a goddamn thing. We're lucky to be here at all."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
— A caller on Episode 2. Still the hardest truth anyone's dropped on my show.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-2/clip-1-we-re-all-fakes-and-that-s-okay.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 4 — Thursday March 20
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Thu-AM (BTS)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 20, 12),
|
||||||
|
"content": """How my show works:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
→ AI generates a caller with a full backstory, personality, and voice
|
||||||
|
→ They call in live
|
||||||
|
→ I have zero idea what they're going to say
|
||||||
|
→ I give them real advice
|
||||||
|
→ Post-production runs automatically
|
||||||
|
→ Episode publishes
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
38 episodes. Built the whole thing from scratch.""",
|
||||||
|
"media": None,
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Thu-PM (stakeout clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 20, 20),
|
||||||
|
"content": """He spent four hours staking out his best friend at Starbucks.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
What he found was worse than what he expected.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-28/clip-3-four-hours-spying-on-his-best-friend.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 5 — Friday March 21
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Fri-AM (review ask)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 21, 11),
|
||||||
|
"content": """If you've listened to Luke at the Roost and liked it — a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify goes further than you'd think.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Not guilt-tripping. Just saying it helps a one-person show more than anything else.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
🔗 lukeattheroost.com""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "social_posts/x_launch/leave_a_review_twitter.png",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Fri-PM (wall clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 21, 18),
|
||||||
|
"content": """She opened up a mystery wall in her house LIVE on the show.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
There were stacks of cash inside.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-35/clip-3-woman-finds-cash-in-secret-wall.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 6 — Saturday March 22
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Sat-AM (poll)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 22, 12),
|
||||||
|
"content": """Which is wilder?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
A) Woman hid her daughter from her husband for 8 years
|
||||||
|
B) Cult leader existential crisis on air
|
||||||
|
C) Paternity results opened live on the show
|
||||||
|
D) Faked cancer to skip a wedding""",
|
||||||
|
"media": None,
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Sat-PM (silence clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 22, 20),
|
||||||
|
"content": """"I told my girlfriend my biggest fantasy and she went completely silent for 10 seconds."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The silence in this clip is brutal.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-30/clip-3-latex-fetish-confession-goes-silent.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 7 — Sunday March 23
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W1-Sun-PM (week recap)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 23, 15),
|
||||||
|
"content": """One week on X. Dropped 38 episodes before making an account.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
If any of these clips made you laugh, cringe, or feel something — the full episodes are even wilder.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
📞 208-439-LUKE
|
||||||
|
🔗 lukeattheroost.com
|
||||||
|
🎧 Spotify · Apple · YouTube""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "website/images/cover.png",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
WEEK_2 = [
|
||||||
|
# Day 8 — Monday March 24
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Mon-AM (second family clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 24, 10),
|
||||||
|
"content": """A guy called in and found out his dad had a whole second family.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Three kids in Tucson who grew up calling his dad "Dad."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
He found out via email from a stranger.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-20/clip-2-dad-s-secret-second-family-revealed.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Mon-PM (engagement)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 24, 19),
|
||||||
|
"content": """What would you do if you found out your dad had a whole second family?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Asking because a caller found out via email from a woman in Tucson.""",
|
||||||
|
"media": None,
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 9 — Tuesday March 25
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Tue-AM (spanish clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 25, 11),
|
||||||
|
"content": """A caller pretended to speak Spanish at his job for 8 years.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Eight. Years.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-14/clip-1-i-lied-about-speaking-spanish-for-8-years.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Tue-PM (quote)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 25, 18),
|
||||||
|
"content": """"Middle management is plagiarism with a 401k."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
AI callers drop better one-liners than most standup specials.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "social_posts/x_launch/quote_3_stoicism_backwards_twitter.png",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 10 — Wednesday March 26
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Wed-AM (BTS)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 26, 12),
|
||||||
|
"content": """People ask if I script the show.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I don't even know who's calling until they're on the line. The AI generates the caller, picks a unique voice, gives them a backstory, and dials in.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
My job is just to be a good host. The chaos handles itself.""",
|
||||||
|
"media": None,
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Wed-PM (roomba clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 26, 20),
|
||||||
|
"content": """His neighbor's Roomba broke into his kitchen at 2:30 AM.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This is the content you're here for.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-26/clip-2-neighbor-s-roomba-breaks-into-kitchen-at-2-30-am.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 11 — Thursday March 27
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Thu-AM (stalking clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 27, 11),
|
||||||
|
"content": """She sat in a Dairy Queen parking lot for 20 minutes watching her ex's truck at Sonic across the street.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We've all been there. (Right?)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-22/clip-2-stalking-your-ex-at-sonic.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Thu-PM (engagement)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 27, 19),
|
||||||
|
"content": """Be honest: what's a lie you've kept going for way too long?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
A caller on my show pretended to speak Spanish at work for 8 years. You can't beat that.""",
|
||||||
|
"media": None,
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 12 — Friday March 28
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Fri-AM (hidden room clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 28, 10),
|
||||||
|
"content": """A man found an impossible hidden room in a junkyard.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Inside? Beer that was still fresh after 12 years.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Two clips. One mystery.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-34/clip-1-man-finds-impossible-hidden-room-in-junkyard.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Fri-PM (fix quote)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 28, 18),
|
||||||
|
"content": """"You can't fix somebody who doesn't want to be fixed."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
A caller said this about their partner and it hit like a truck.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-30/clip-1-you-can-t-fix-someone-who-won-t-be-fixed.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 13 — Saturday March 29
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Sat-AM (BTS callers)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 29, 12),
|
||||||
|
"content": """Each AI caller gets generated with:
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
• A name, age, job, and hometown
|
||||||
|
• A reason for calling
|
||||||
|
• A communication style + energy level
|
||||||
|
• An emotional state
|
||||||
|
• A "signature detail" that makes them unique
|
||||||
|
• A unique AI voice
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
None of it is scripted. They just... call in and talk.""",
|
||||||
|
"media": None,
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Sat-PM (check clip)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 29, 20),
|
||||||
|
"content": """He deposited a $5,000 check instead of $500 three months ago.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Spent it all.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Now his company might find out.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
#lukeattheroost #podcast""",
|
||||||
|
"media": "clips/episode-25/clip-2-accidentally-kept-4-500-from-work.mp4",
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
# Day 14 — Sunday March 30
|
||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"label": "W2-Sun-PM (week 2 recap + review)",
|
||||||
|
"time": et_to_utc(2026, 3, 30, 15),
|
||||||
|
"content": """Two weeks in. Thank you to everyone who's followed, listened, or dropped a comment.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This show started as a weird experiment — a guy giving life advice to AI-generated callers at 2 AM.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
38 episodes later it's still weird. But now people are listening.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
If you've been enjoying it, a rating on Apple or Spotify makes a real difference. 🙏
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
lukeattheroost.com""",
|
||||||
|
"media": None,
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def main():
|
||||||
|
parser = argparse.ArgumentParser(description="Schedule X launch campaign via Postiz")
|
||||||
|
parser.add_argument("--dry-run", action="store_true", help="Preview without scheduling")
|
||||||
|
parser.add_argument("--week", type=int, choices=[1, 2], help="Schedule only week 1 or 2")
|
||||||
|
parser.add_argument("--skip", type=int, default=0, help="Skip first N posts (for retrying after partial run)")
|
||||||
|
parser.add_argument("--delay", type=int, default=10, help="Seconds between API calls (default 10)")
|
||||||
|
args = parser.parse_args()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if not POSTIZ_API_KEY:
|
||||||
|
print("Error: POSTIZ_API_KEY not set in .env")
|
||||||
|
sys.exit(1)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
all_posts = []
|
||||||
|
if args.week != 2:
|
||||||
|
all_posts.extend(WEEK_1)
|
||||||
|
if args.week != 1:
|
||||||
|
all_posts.extend(WEEK_2)
|
||||||
|
posts = all_posts[args.skip:]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(f"\n=== X Launch Campaign — {len(posts)} posts ===\n")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if args.dry_run:
|
||||||
|
for i, post in enumerate(posts, 1):
|
||||||
|
has_media = "📎" if post["media"] else " "
|
||||||
|
print(f" {i:2d}. {has_media} {post['label']}")
|
||||||
|
print(f" Schedule: {post['time']}")
|
||||||
|
preview = post["content"][:80].replace("\n", " ")
|
||||||
|
print(f" Content: {preview}...")
|
||||||
|
if post["media"]:
|
||||||
|
print(f" Media: {post['media']}")
|
||||||
|
print()
|
||||||
|
print(f"Dry run complete — {len(posts)} posts would be scheduled.")
|
||||||
|
return
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Upload media files first (deduplicate), with disk cache
|
||||||
|
cache_file = SCRIPT_DIR / "social_posts" / "x_launch" / ".upload_cache.json"
|
||||||
|
media_cache = {}
|
||||||
|
if cache_file.exists():
|
||||||
|
media_cache = json.loads(cache_file.read_text())
|
||||||
|
print(f"Loaded {len(media_cache)} cached uploads from previous run\n")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
media_files = set(p["media"] for p in posts if p["media"])
|
||||||
|
to_upload = [m for m in sorted(media_files) if m not in media_cache]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if to_upload:
|
||||||
|
print(f"Uploading {len(to_upload)} new media files ({len(media_files) - len(to_upload)} cached)...\n")
|
||||||
|
for media_path in to_upload:
|
||||||
|
full_path = SCRIPT_DIR / media_path
|
||||||
|
if not full_path.exists():
|
||||||
|
print(f" ✗ {media_path} — FILE NOT FOUND, skipping")
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
print(f" Uploading {media_path}...", end=" ", flush=True)
|
||||||
|
result = upload_file(full_path)
|
||||||
|
if result:
|
||||||
|
media_cache[media_path] = result
|
||||||
|
cache_file.write_text(json.dumps(media_cache, indent=2))
|
||||||
|
print("✓")
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
print("✗ FAILED")
|
||||||
|
time.sleep(3)
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
print(f"All {len(media_files)} media files already cached, skipping uploads\n")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Schedule posts
|
||||||
|
print(f"\nScheduling {len(posts)} posts to X...\n")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
success = 0
|
||||||
|
failed = 0
|
||||||
|
for i, post in enumerate(posts, 1):
|
||||||
|
media = media_cache.get(post["media"]) if post["media"] else None
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if post["media"] and not media:
|
||||||
|
print(f" {i:2d}. ✗ {post['label']} — media upload missing, skipping")
|
||||||
|
failed += 1
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(f" {i:2d}. Scheduling {post['label']}...", end=" ", flush=True)
|
||||||
|
result = schedule_post(post["content"], media, post["time"])
|
||||||
|
if result:
|
||||||
|
print("✓")
|
||||||
|
success += 1
|
||||||
|
else:
|
||||||
|
print("✗")
|
||||||
|
failed += 1
|
||||||
|
# Rate limit: pause between API calls
|
||||||
|
if i < len(posts):
|
||||||
|
time.sleep(5)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
print(f"\n{'='*50}")
|
||||||
|
print(f"Scheduled: {success}/{len(posts)}")
|
||||||
|
if failed:
|
||||||
|
print(f"Failed: {failed}")
|
||||||
|
print(f"\nPosts will appear on @lukeattheroost starting Mon March 17")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if __name__ == "__main__":
|
||||||
|
main()
|
||||||
Vendored
+5
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||||||
|
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
|
||||||
|
<rss xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:podcast="https://podcastindex.org/namespace/1.0" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" version="2.0"><channel><atom:link href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"></atom:link><atom:link href="https://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/" rel="hub" type="application/rss+xml"></atom:link><atom:link href="https://pubsubhubbub.superfeedr.com/" rel="hub" type="application/rss+xml"></atom:link><atom:link href="https://websubhub.com/hub" rel="hub" type="application/rss+xml"></atom:link><atom:link href="https://switchboard.p3k.io/" rel="hub" type="application/rss+xml"></atom:link><lastBuildDate>Tue, 04 Aug 2026 09:23:29 +0000</lastBuildDate><generator>Castopod - https://castopod.org/</generator><docs>https://cyber.harvard.edu/rss/rss.html</docs><podcast:guid>46cfb731-b4a1-55e2-80f3-cadb1c6c18fa</podcast:guid><title>Luke at the Roost</title><description><![CDATA[<p>A late-night call-in radio show broadcast from a desert hermit’s RV, featuring a mix of real callers and AI-generated callers talking to Luke about life, love, and everything in between. Call in live: 208-439-LUKE (208-439-5853).</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>Website: <a href="https://lukeattheroost.com">https://lukeattheroost.com</a></p>
|
||||||
|
]]></description><podcast:medium>podcast</podcast:medium><itunes:image href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/cover_feed.png"></itunes:image><language>en</language><podcast:location geo="geo:50.8050519,-0.4525129" osm="W996958777">Smugglers&#039; Roost</podcast:location><podcast:locked owner="luke@macneilmediagroup.com">no</podcast:locked><podcast:social priority="1" platform="castopod" protocol="activitypub" accountId="@LukeAtTheRoost@podcast.macneilmediagroup.com" accountUrl="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost"></podcast:social><itunes:category text="Comedy"></itunes:category><category>Comedy</category><itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit><itunes:author>MacNeil Media Group, LLC</itunes:author><link>https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost</link><itunes:owner><itunes:name>Luke MacNeil</itunes:name><itunes:email>luke@macneilmediagroup.com</itunes:email></itunes:owner><itunes:type>episodic</itunes:type><copyright>MacNeil Media Group, LLC</copyright><image><url>https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/cover_feed.png</url><title>Luke at the Roost</title><link>https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost</link></image><item><title>Episode 58: Rayfield's Nephew, the Marfa Lights, and Why Nobody Believes Concho</title><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e,pg=46cfb731-b4a1-55e2-80f3-cadb1c6c18fa/podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/audio/@LukeAtTheRoost/episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho.mp3" length="114501589" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure><guid>https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/episodes/episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho</guid><pubDate>Tue, 04 Aug 2026 09:22:38 +0000</pubDate><description><![CDATA[<p>Luke fields calls about stolen catalytic converters, unexplained phenomena over Mitchell Flat, a sheriff's deputy's moral dilemma, and a fence builder convinced someone is mapping West Texas water sources. Plus: Donald Judd's aluminum boxes change everything for a skeptical rancher named Fern.</p>]]></description><itunes:duration>4770</itunes:duration><link>https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/episodes/episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho</link><itunes:image href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/cover_feed.png"></itunes:image><itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit><itunes:episode>58</itunes:episode><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><podcast:episode>58</podcast:episode><podcast:comments uri="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/episodes/episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho/comments" contentType="application/podcast-activity+json"></podcast:comments><podcast:transcript url="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho.srt" type="application/x-subrip" rel="captions" language="en"></podcast:transcript><podcast:chapters url="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho-chapters.json" type="application/json+chapters"></podcast:chapters></item><item><title>Episode 57: Trace's Box of Family Secrets</title><enclosure url="https://op3.dev/e,pg=46cfb731-b4a1-55e2-80f3-cadb1c6c18fa/podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/audio/@LukeAtTheRoost/episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets.mp3" length="97583646" type="audio/mpeg"></enclosure><guid>https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/episodes/episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets</guid><pubDate>Tue, 02 Jun 2026 11:32:58 +0000</pubDate><description><![CDATA[<p>Luke hosts another late-night call-in show from Alpine, Texas, featuring intense conversations about personal dilemmas. Callers include Silas struggling with a community move, a landman wrestling with an ethical choice, and Trace discovering hidden letters with a potentially life-changing secret. What happens when the past suddenly becomes present?</p>
|
||||||
|
]]></description><itunes:duration>4066</itunes:duration><link>https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/episodes/episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets</link><itunes:image href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/cover_feed.png"></itunes:image><itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit><itunes:episode>57</itunes:episode><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><podcast:episode>57</podcast:episode><podcast:comments uri="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/episodes/episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets/comments" contentType="application/podcast-activity+json"></podcast:comments><podcast:socialInteract uri="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/posts/418bda4c-56df-47c3-ae29-6e3eb4b70a50" priority="1" platform="castopod" protocol="activitypub" accountId="@LukeAtTheRoost@podcast.macneilmediagroup.com" pubDate="2026-06-02T11:32:58+0000"></podcast:socialInteract><podcast:transcript url="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets.srt" type="application/x-subrip" rel="captions" language="en"></podcast:transcript><podcast:chapters url="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/media/podcasts/LukeAtTheRoost/episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets-chapters.json" type="application/json+chapters"></podcast:chapters></item></channel></rss>
|
||||||
@@ -63,8 +63,15 @@ def test_resolve_voice_case_insensitive():
|
|||||||
def test_resolve_voice_falls_back_when_no_match():
|
def test_resolve_voice_falls_back_when_no_match():
|
||||||
from backend.services.caller_gen import resolve_voice
|
from backend.services.caller_gen import resolve_voice
|
||||||
roster = ["Marcus", "Dennis"]
|
roster = ["Marcus", "Dennis"]
|
||||||
# Deterministic fallback: return first from roster
|
# Random fallback, so hallucinated voices don't all collapse onto roster[0]
|
||||||
assert resolve_voice("Santiago", roster) == "Marcus"
|
assert resolve_voice("Santiago", roster) in roster
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_resolve_voice_fallback_spreads_across_roster():
|
||||||
|
from backend.services.caller_gen import resolve_voice
|
||||||
|
roster = ["Marcus", "Dennis", "Priya", "Edward"]
|
||||||
|
picked = {resolve_voice("Santiago", roster) for _ in range(60)}
|
||||||
|
assert len(picked) > 1, "fallback collapsed onto a single voice"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def test_resolve_voice_empty_suggestion_falls_back():
|
def test_resolve_voice_empty_suggestion_falls_back():
|
||||||
@@ -103,7 +110,7 @@ def test_build_batch_prompt_includes_silas_lore_when_present():
|
|||||||
"weather": "...",
|
"weather": "...",
|
||||||
"headlines": [],
|
"headlines": [],
|
||||||
"recent_caller_summaries": [],
|
"recent_caller_summaries": [],
|
||||||
"regulars_included": [{"name": "Silas", "lore": "Silas leads a small desert cult...", "arc_state": "seeking new members"}],
|
"regulars_included": [{"name": "Silas", "voice": "Sebastian", "age": 52, "lore": "Silas leads a small desert cult...", "arc_state": "seeking new members"}],
|
||||||
"caller_count": 12,
|
"caller_count": 12,
|
||||||
"voice_roster": ["Marcus"],
|
"voice_roster": ["Marcus"],
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -22,4 +22,36 @@ def test_prompt_includes_identity_and_situation():
|
|||||||
assert "NEVER use asterisks" in prompt
|
assert "NEVER use asterisks" in prompt
|
||||||
assert "NEVER use parenthetical stage directions" in prompt
|
assert "NEVER use parenthetical stage directions" in prompt
|
||||||
assert "Mix short punchy replies with longer ones" in prompt
|
assert "Mix short punchy replies with longer ones" in prompt
|
||||||
|
assert "YOU CAN BE MOVED" in prompt
|
||||||
|
assert "NEVER restate the same dilemma" in prompt
|
||||||
assert len(prompt) < 3500
|
assert len(prompt) < 3500
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_prompt_includes_opening_line():
|
||||||
|
caller = {
|
||||||
|
"name": "Tina",
|
||||||
|
"identity": "A nurse who just got off a 16-hour shift",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Found her ex's wedding invitation in her mailbox",
|
||||||
|
"reason_calling": "She's not sure if she should go",
|
||||||
|
"secret_want": "Wants someone to tell her she's over him",
|
||||||
|
"opening_line": "Luke, I literally just got home from work and there's this gold envelope sitting on my kitchen counter.",
|
||||||
|
"specific_details": ["invitation was hand-addressed", "wedding is in two weeks"],
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
prompt = get_caller_prompt(caller)
|
||||||
|
assert "gold envelope" in prompt
|
||||||
|
assert "FIRST message" in prompt
|
||||||
|
assert "listening for" in prompt.lower() or "been listening" in prompt.lower()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_prompt_without_opening_line():
|
||||||
|
caller = {
|
||||||
|
"name": "Ray",
|
||||||
|
"identity": "A retired mechanic",
|
||||||
|
"situation": "Neighbor's dog dug up something weird",
|
||||||
|
"reason_calling": "He thinks it might be human bones",
|
||||||
|
"secret_want": "Doesn't want to call the cops on his neighbor",
|
||||||
|
"specific_details": ["bones were wrapped in a tarp"],
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
prompt = get_caller_prompt(caller)
|
||||||
|
assert "FIRST message" not in prompt
|
||||||
|
assert "planned opening" not in prompt.lower()
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,94 @@
|
|||||||
|
import shutil
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import pytest
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from generate_episode_pages import generate
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
FIXTURE_FEED = Path(__file__).parent / "fixtures" / "feed_sample.xml"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
EP58_SLUG = "episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho"
|
||||||
|
EP57_SLUG = "episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@pytest.fixture
|
||||||
|
def feed_file(tmp_path):
|
||||||
|
dest = tmp_path / "feed.xml"
|
||||||
|
shutil.copyfile(FIXTURE_FEED, dest)
|
||||||
|
return dest
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@pytest.fixture
|
||||||
|
def transcripts_dir(tmp_path):
|
||||||
|
d = tmp_path / "transcripts"
|
||||||
|
d.mkdir()
|
||||||
|
(d / f"{EP58_SLUG}.txt").write_text(
|
||||||
|
"LUKE: Marfa Lights, line one.\n\nCONCHO: Nobody believes me.\n"
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
(d / f"{EP57_SLUG}.txt").write_text("LUKE: Trace, what's in the box?\n\nTRACE: Letters.\n")
|
||||||
|
return d
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@pytest.fixture
|
||||||
|
def out_root(tmp_path):
|
||||||
|
return tmp_path / "site"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_writes_one_index_html_per_feed_episode(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root):
|
||||||
|
n = generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root)
|
||||||
|
assert n == 2
|
||||||
|
assert (out_root / "episode" / EP58_SLUG / "index.html").exists()
|
||||||
|
assert (out_root / "episode" / EP57_SLUG / "index.html").exists()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_orphan_transcript_without_feed_item_is_skipped(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root):
|
||||||
|
"""episode-32 has a transcript but was never published to the feed."""
|
||||||
|
(transcripts_dir / "episode-32-tacos-taxes-and-tall-tales.txt").write_text("LUKE: Hi.")
|
||||||
|
generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root)
|
||||||
|
assert not (out_root / "episode" / "episode-32-tacos-taxes-and-tall-tales").exists()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_missing_transcript_still_produces_a_page(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root):
|
||||||
|
"""An episode published before its transcript lands must not break the build."""
|
||||||
|
for f in transcripts_dir.glob("*.txt"):
|
||||||
|
f.unlink()
|
||||||
|
n = generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root)
|
||||||
|
assert n == 2
|
||||||
|
html = next((out_root / "episode").rglob("index.html")).read_text()
|
||||||
|
assert "Transcript not yet available" in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_dry_run_writes_nothing(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root):
|
||||||
|
n = generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root, dry_run=True)
|
||||||
|
assert n == 2
|
||||||
|
assert not out_root.exists()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_transcript_content_lands_in_the_page(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root):
|
||||||
|
generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root)
|
||||||
|
html = (out_root / "episode" / EP58_SLUG / "index.html").read_text()
|
||||||
|
assert "transcript-turn" in html
|
||||||
|
assert "Nobody believes me." in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_pages_link_to_each_other(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root):
|
||||||
|
"""Prev/next links are how a crawler reaches all 57 pages."""
|
||||||
|
generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root)
|
||||||
|
pages = list((out_root / "episode").rglob("index.html"))
|
||||||
|
combined = "\n".join(p.read_text() for p in pages)
|
||||||
|
assert combined.count("/episode/") >= len(pages)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_prev_points_older_and_next_points_newer(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root):
|
||||||
|
generate(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root)
|
||||||
|
newest = (out_root / "episode" / EP58_SLUG / "index.html").read_text()
|
||||||
|
oldest = (out_root / "episode" / EP57_SLUG / "index.html").read_text()
|
||||||
|
assert f'rel="prev" href="/episode/{EP57_SLUG}/"' in newest
|
||||||
|
assert 'rel="next"' not in newest
|
||||||
|
assert f'rel="next" href="/episode/{EP58_SLUG}/"' in oldest
|
||||||
|
assert 'rel="prev"' not in oldest
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_accepts_string_paths(feed_file, transcripts_dir, out_root):
|
||||||
|
n = generate(str(feed_file), str(transcripts_dir), str(out_root))
|
||||||
|
assert n == 2
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,121 @@
|
|||||||
|
import json
|
||||||
|
import re
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import pytest
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.feed import Episode
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.render import render_episode_page
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@pytest.fixture
|
||||||
|
def sample_episode():
|
||||||
|
return Episode(
|
||||||
|
number=58,
|
||||||
|
slug="episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho",
|
||||||
|
title="Episode 58: Rayfield's Nephew, the Marfa Lights, and Why Nobody Believes Concho",
|
||||||
|
description=(
|
||||||
|
"Luke fields calls about stolen catalytic converters, unexplained phenomena over "
|
||||||
|
"Mitchell Flat, a sheriff's deputy's moral dilemma, and a fence builder convinced "
|
||||||
|
"someone is mapping West Texas water sources."
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
published_iso="2026-08-04T09:22:38+00:00",
|
||||||
|
duration_seconds=4770,
|
||||||
|
audio_url=(
|
||||||
|
"https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/audio/@LukeAtTheRoost/"
|
||||||
|
"episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho.mp3"
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@pytest.fixture
|
||||||
|
def other_episode():
|
||||||
|
return Episode(
|
||||||
|
number=57,
|
||||||
|
slug="episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets",
|
||||||
|
title="Episode 57: Trace's Box of Family Secrets",
|
||||||
|
description="Letters in a shoebox turn a family story inside out.",
|
||||||
|
published_iso="2026-06-02T11:32:58+00:00",
|
||||||
|
duration_seconds=4066,
|
||||||
|
audio_url=(
|
||||||
|
"https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/audio/@LukeAtTheRoost/"
|
||||||
|
"episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets.mp3"
|
||||||
|
),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_title_and_canonical_are_episode_specific(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "Hello.")])
|
||||||
|
assert "<title>Episode 58: Rayfield" in html
|
||||||
|
assert '<link rel="canonical" href="https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/episode-58-' in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_transcript_is_in_the_html_not_fetched_by_js(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "The Marfa Lights are real.")])
|
||||||
|
assert "The Marfa Lights are real." in html
|
||||||
|
assert "fetch(" not in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_emits_valid_podcastepisode_schema(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "Hi.")])
|
||||||
|
block = re.search(r'<script type="application/ld\+json">(.*?)</script>', html, re.S).group(1)
|
||||||
|
data = json.loads(block)
|
||||||
|
types = {o["@type"] for o in (data if isinstance(data, list) else [data])}
|
||||||
|
assert "PodcastEpisode" in types
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_schema_carries_big_bend_content_location(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[])
|
||||||
|
block = re.search(r'<script type="application/ld\+json">(.*?)</script>', html, re.S).group(1)
|
||||||
|
data = json.loads(block)
|
||||||
|
ep = next(o for o in data if o["@type"] == "PodcastEpisode")
|
||||||
|
assert ep["contentLocation"]["address"]["addressLocality"] == "Alpine"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_escapes_html_in_transcript_text(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "5 < 6 & <script>alert(1)</script>")])
|
||||||
|
assert "<script>alert(1)</script>" not in html
|
||||||
|
assert "<script>" in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_escapes_quotes_in_title_meta(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
sample_episode.title = 'Episode 1: The "Best" Show'
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[])
|
||||||
|
assert 'content="Episode 1: The "Best"' not in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_schema_json_is_valid_even_with_quotes_in_title(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
"""JSON-LD must stay parseable when the title contains quotes and apostrophes."""
|
||||||
|
sample_episode.title = 'Ep "quoted" and Rayfield\'s'
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[])
|
||||||
|
block = re.search(r'<script type="application/ld\+json">(.*?)</script>', html, re.S).group(1)
|
||||||
|
json.loads(block) # must not raise
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_speaker_labels_get_semantic_markup(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[("LUKE", "Hi."), ("SLIM", "Hey.")])
|
||||||
|
assert html.count('class="transcript-turn"') == 2
|
||||||
|
assert "LUKE" in html and "SLIM" in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_all_asset_paths_are_root_absolute(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
"""Pages live at /episode/<slug>/ so relative asset paths would 404."""
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[])
|
||||||
|
assert 'href="css/' not in html
|
||||||
|
assert 'src="js/' not in html
|
||||||
|
assert re.search(r'href="/css/style\.css\?v=\d+"', html)
|
||||||
|
assert 'src="/js/footer.js"' in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_prev_next_links_render_when_given(sample_episode, other_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[], prev_ep=other_episode)
|
||||||
|
assert f'/episode/{other_episode.slug}/' in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_missing_transcript_renders_placeholder(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[])
|
||||||
|
assert "Transcript not yet available" in html
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_audio_element_present_for_no_js_playback(sample_episode):
|
||||||
|
html = render_episode_page(sample_episode, turns=[])
|
||||||
|
assert "<audio" in html and sample_episode.audio_url in html
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
|
|||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import pytest
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.feed import parse_feed
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
FIXTURE = Path(__file__).parent / "fixtures" / "feed_sample.xml"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@pytest.fixture
|
||||||
|
def feed_xml():
|
||||||
|
return FIXTURE.read_text(encoding="utf-8")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_parses_core_fields(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
eps = parse_feed(feed_xml)
|
||||||
|
ep = next(e for e in eps if e.number == 58)
|
||||||
|
assert ep.slug == "episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho"
|
||||||
|
assert ep.title.startswith("Episode 58: Rayfield's Nephew")
|
||||||
|
assert ep.duration_seconds == 4770
|
||||||
|
assert ep.audio_url.startswith("https://")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_description_is_stripped_of_cdata_and_html(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
ep = parse_feed(feed_xml)[0]
|
||||||
|
assert "<![CDATA[" not in ep.description
|
||||||
|
assert "<p>" not in ep.description
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_slug_comes_from_link_and_drops_trailing_slash(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
for ep in parse_feed(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
assert not ep.slug.endswith("/")
|
||||||
|
assert "/" not in ep.slug
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_pubdate_parses_to_iso_date(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
ep = next(e for e in parse_feed(feed_xml) if e.number == 58)
|
||||||
|
assert ep.published_iso.startswith("2026-08-04")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_returns_all_items_in_fixture(feed_xml):
|
||||||
|
assert len(parse_feed(feed_xml)) == 2
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,90 @@
|
|||||||
|
"""Guards against the two model-config failures that have bitten us:
|
||||||
|
a routed model with no pricing entry (silently costs $0.00 on the dashboard),
|
||||||
|
and a stale model id that 404s at the OpenRouter API."""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from backend.config import settings
|
||||||
|
from backend.services.cost_tracker import OPENROUTER_PRICING
|
||||||
|
from backend.services.llm import OPENROUTER_MODELS, LLMService
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
_CALLER_DIALOG_MODEL_PARAMS = LLMService._CALLER_DIALOG_MODEL_PARAMS
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Retired on OpenRouter — kept here so a reintroduction fails loudly.
|
||||||
|
RETIRED_MODELS = {
|
||||||
|
"anthropic/claude-3.5-haiku",
|
||||||
|
"anthropic/claude-3.5-sonnet",
|
||||||
|
"anthropic/claude-sonnet-4-5", # note the dash; the live id uses a dot
|
||||||
|
"google/gemini-flash-1.5",
|
||||||
|
"mistralai/mistral-small-creative",
|
||||||
|
"x-ai/grok-4",
|
||||||
|
"x-ai/grok-4-fast",
|
||||||
|
"x-ai/grok-4.1-fast",
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_every_routed_model_has_pricing():
|
||||||
|
"""A routed model missing from OPENROUTER_PRICING records cost as $0.00."""
|
||||||
|
unpriced = {
|
||||||
|
cat: model
|
||||||
|
for cat, model in settings.category_models.items()
|
||||||
|
if model not in OPENROUTER_PRICING
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
assert not unpriced, f"routed models with no pricing entry: {unpriced}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_no_retired_models_are_routed():
|
||||||
|
routed = {
|
||||||
|
cat: model
|
||||||
|
for cat, model in settings.category_models.items()
|
||||||
|
if model in RETIRED_MODELS
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
assert not routed, f"category routed to a retired model: {routed}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_no_retired_models_in_the_pool():
|
||||||
|
stale = sorted(set(OPENROUTER_MODELS) & RETIRED_MODELS)
|
||||||
|
assert not stale, f"retired models still listed in OPENROUTER_MODELS: {stale}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_no_retired_models_in_caller_dialog_params():
|
||||||
|
stale = sorted(set(_CALLER_DIALOG_MODEL_PARAMS) & RETIRED_MODELS)
|
||||||
|
assert not stale, f"per-model tuning keyed to retired models: {stale}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_pool_models_are_priced():
|
||||||
|
"""Anything selectable should be costable."""
|
||||||
|
unpriced = [m for m in OPENROUTER_MODELS if m not in OPENROUTER_PRICING]
|
||||||
|
assert not unpriced, f"pool models with no pricing entry: {unpriced}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_no_retired_model_ids_anywhere_in_the_codebase():
|
||||||
|
"""publish_episode.py, make_clips.py and relabel_transcripts.py each shipped
|
||||||
|
a retired model id and only failed when someone ran them. Scan every source
|
||||||
|
file so the next one fails here instead.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
cost_tracker.py is exempt: it intentionally keeps retired ids as pricing
|
||||||
|
keys so historical cost records stay costable.
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
import pathlib
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
root = pathlib.Path(__file__).resolve().parent.parent
|
||||||
|
exempt = {root / "backend" / "services" / "cost_tracker.py",
|
||||||
|
pathlib.Path(__file__).resolve()}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
offenders = {}
|
||||||
|
for path in root.rglob("*.py"):
|
||||||
|
if path in exempt:
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
# Skip venvs, vendored models, and git worktrees (separate checkouts
|
||||||
|
# on other branches — not this tree's code).
|
||||||
|
if any(part in {"venv", "mlx_models", ".git", ".claude", ".worktrees",
|
||||||
|
"node_modules", "remotion-demo"} for part in path.parts):
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
try:
|
||||||
|
text = path.read_text(encoding="utf-8", errors="ignore")
|
||||||
|
except OSError:
|
||||||
|
continue
|
||||||
|
hits = sorted(m for m in RETIRED_MODELS if f'"{m}"' in text or f"'{m}'" in text)
|
||||||
|
if hits:
|
||||||
|
offenders[str(path.relative_to(root))] = hits
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
assert not offenders, f"retired model ids still referenced: {offenders}"
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
|
|||||||
|
import re
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
ROOT = Path(__file__).resolve().parent.parent
|
||||||
|
LEGACY = "episode.html?slug="
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def _files():
|
||||||
|
for pattern in ("website/*.html", "website/js/*.js", "website/llms.txt", "*.py"):
|
||||||
|
yield from ROOT.glob(pattern)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_no_source_file_builds_a_legacy_episode_url():
|
||||||
|
offenders = []
|
||||||
|
for f in _files():
|
||||||
|
if f.name == "_worker.js":
|
||||||
|
continue # the worker's reference is the redirect itself
|
||||||
|
if LEGACY in f.read_text(errors="replace"):
|
||||||
|
offenders.append(str(f.relative_to(ROOT)))
|
||||||
|
assert not offenders, f"legacy episode URLs still present: {offenders}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_client_rendered_episode_page_is_gone():
|
||||||
|
assert not (ROOT / "website" / "episode.html").exists()
|
||||||
|
assert not (ROOT / "website" / "js" / "episode.js").exists()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_worker_still_redirects_legacy_urls():
|
||||||
|
worker = (ROOT / "website" / "_worker.js").read_text()
|
||||||
|
assert "/episode.html" in worker and "301" in worker
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_redirects_file_has_no_dead_episode_target():
|
||||||
|
redirects = (ROOT / "website" / "_redirects").read_text()
|
||||||
|
assert "/episode 302" not in redirects
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
|
|||||||
|
"""Whisper mishears recurring show names; correct them after transcription.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
publish_episode.py transcribes with LightningWhisperMLX, whose transcribe()
|
||||||
|
signature is (audio_path, language) — it accepts no initial_prompt, so there is
|
||||||
|
no way to condition it on proper nouns the way make_clips.py does with
|
||||||
|
mlx_whisper. The intern came out as "Devin" in 21 of 58 published transcripts
|
||||||
|
because of this.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
A deterministic pass over the finished text fixes the known names without
|
||||||
|
swapping the transcription engine.
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import sys
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
sys.path.insert(0, str(Path(__file__).resolve().parent.parent))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from publish_episode import fix_proper_nouns
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_corrects_the_intern_name_in_all_casings():
|
||||||
|
assert fix_proper_nouns("Devin, where's my coffee?") == "Devon, where's my coffee?"
|
||||||
|
assert fix_proper_nouns("DEVIN: Hey Luke.") == "DEVON: Hey Luke."
|
||||||
|
assert fix_proper_nouns("devin said so") == "devon said so"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_leaves_correct_spelling_alone():
|
||||||
|
text = "Devon is the intern. DEVON: Hi."
|
||||||
|
assert fix_proper_nouns(text) == text
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_only_matches_whole_words():
|
||||||
|
"""Must not corrupt a longer word that happens to contain the name."""
|
||||||
|
assert fix_proper_nouns("Devinshire") == "Devinshire"
|
||||||
|
assert fix_proper_nouns("mcdevins") == "mcdevins"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_preserves_surrounding_text_exactly():
|
||||||
|
src = "LUKE: Alright. Let's check in with Devin and see how he's doing.\n\nDEVIN: Hey!"
|
||||||
|
out = fix_proper_nouns(src)
|
||||||
|
assert out == "LUKE: Alright. Let's check in with Devon and see how he's doing.\n\nDEVON: Hey!"
|
||||||
|
assert len(out) == len(src)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_empty_and_none_safe():
|
||||||
|
assert fix_proper_nouns("") == ""
|
||||||
|
assert fix_proper_nouns(None) == ""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_word_count_is_never_changed():
|
||||||
|
src = "Devin talked to Devin about Devin. " * 20
|
||||||
|
assert len(fix_proper_nouns(src).split()) == len(src.split())
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,80 @@
|
|||||||
|
"""Publishing must rebuild the static episode pages and the sitemap.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Before static pages existed, publish_episode.py appended one entry to
|
||||||
|
sitemap.xml itself. That appender is gone — generate_episode_pages.py owns the
|
||||||
|
sitemap now — so the publish has to invoke it, or a newly published episode
|
||||||
|
would have no page and never reach the sitemap.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
A generator failure must never abort a publish: by the time this runs the audio
|
||||||
|
is already live on Castopod and the RSS feed has been rebuilt.
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import subprocess
|
||||||
|
import sys
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
sys.path.insert(0, str(Path(__file__).resolve().parent.parent))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import publish_episode
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
class _Result:
|
||||||
|
def __init__(self, returncode=0, stderr=""):
|
||||||
|
self.returncode = returncode
|
||||||
|
self.stderr = stderr
|
||||||
|
self.stdout = ""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_invokes_the_generator_with_sitemap(monkeypatch):
|
||||||
|
calls = []
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(subprocess, "run", lambda cmd, **kw: calls.append(cmd) or _Result())
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
assert publish_episode.regenerate_website_pages() is True
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
assert len(calls) == 1
|
||||||
|
cmd = calls[0]
|
||||||
|
assert "generate_episode_pages.py" in " ".join(cmd)
|
||||||
|
assert "--sitemap" in cmd
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_uses_the_running_interpreter(monkeypatch):
|
||||||
|
"""Must not shell out to a bare 'python' that may not have the venv."""
|
||||||
|
calls = []
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(subprocess, "run", lambda cmd, **kw: calls.append(cmd) or _Result())
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
publish_episode.regenerate_website_pages()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
assert calls[0][0] == sys.executable
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_generator_failure_is_not_fatal(monkeypatch):
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(subprocess, "run",
|
||||||
|
lambda cmd, **kw: _Result(returncode=1, stderr="boom"))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
assert publish_episode.regenerate_website_pages() is False
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_generator_timeout_is_not_fatal(monkeypatch):
|
||||||
|
def _boom(cmd, **kw):
|
||||||
|
raise subprocess.TimeoutExpired(cmd, 300)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(subprocess, "run", _boom)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
assert publish_episode.regenerate_website_pages() is False
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_missing_generator_is_not_fatal(monkeypatch):
|
||||||
|
def _boom(cmd, **kw):
|
||||||
|
raise OSError("no such file")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(subprocess, "run", _boom)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
assert publish_episode.regenerate_website_pages() is False
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_publish_flow_calls_it_after_copying_the_transcript():
|
||||||
|
"""Guards the wiring, not just the helper."""
|
||||||
|
source = Path(publish_episode.__file__).read_text()
|
||||||
|
copy_at = source.index("Transcript copied to website/transcripts/")
|
||||||
|
call_at = source.index("regenerate_website_pages()", copy_at)
|
||||||
|
assert call_at > copy_at
|
||||||
@@ -64,6 +64,49 @@ def test_session_get_show_history_summary():
|
|||||||
assert "EARLIER IN THE SHOW" in summary
|
assert "EARLIER IN THE SHOW" in summary
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_show_history_reactions_constant_is_usable():
|
||||||
|
from backend.main import SHOW_HISTORY_REACTIONS
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
assert SHOW_HISTORY_REACTIONS, "generic reaction pool must not be empty"
|
||||||
|
assert all(isinstance(r, str) and r.strip() for r in SHOW_HISTORY_REACTIONS)
|
||||||
|
# Each one is interpolated as "...and you {reaction}." so it must not
|
||||||
|
# carry its own leading/trailing punctuation or an unfilled placeholder.
|
||||||
|
for r in SHOW_HISTORY_REACTIONS:
|
||||||
|
assert not r.endswith("."), r
|
||||||
|
assert "{" not in r, r
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_build_specific_reaction_falls_back_when_record_has_no_details():
|
||||||
|
"""A CallRecord with neither key_details nor situation_summary hits the
|
||||||
|
generic branch — this used to raise NameError mid-show."""
|
||||||
|
from backend.main import SHOW_HISTORY_REACTIONS
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
s = Session()
|
||||||
|
bare = CallRecord(
|
||||||
|
caller_type="ai", caller_name="Jasmine",
|
||||||
|
summary="Talked about her boss", transcript=[],
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
reaction = s._build_specific_reaction({}, bare)
|
||||||
|
assert reaction in SHOW_HISTORY_REACTIONS
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_get_show_history_never_raises_when_reaction_branch_fires(monkeypatch):
|
||||||
|
"""Force the reaction branch every time so the fallback path is covered
|
||||||
|
deterministically rather than at its ~15% random rate."""
|
||||||
|
import backend.main as main
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(main.random, "random", lambda: 0.0)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
s = Session()
|
||||||
|
s.call_history.append(CallRecord(
|
||||||
|
caller_type="real", caller_name="Dave",
|
||||||
|
summary="Called about his wife leaving", transcript=[],
|
||||||
|
))
|
||||||
|
summary = s.get_show_history()
|
||||||
|
assert "DAVE" in summary
|
||||||
|
assert "and you " in summary
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
def test_session_reset_clears_history():
|
def test_session_reset_clears_history():
|
||||||
s = Session()
|
s = Session()
|
||||||
s.call_history.append(CallRecord(
|
s.call_history.append(CallRecord(
|
||||||
|
|||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,69 @@
|
|||||||
|
import re
|
||||||
|
import xml.etree.ElementTree as ET
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import pytest
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from generate_episode_pages import build_sitemap
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.feed import parse_feed
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
FIXTURE_FEED = Path(__file__).parent / "fixtures" / "feed_sample.xml"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@pytest.fixture
|
||||||
|
def episodes():
|
||||||
|
return parse_feed(FIXTURE_FEED.read_text(encoding="utf-8"))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@pytest.fixture
|
||||||
|
def generated_sitemap(episodes):
|
||||||
|
return build_sitemap(episodes)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_sitemap_contains_no_query_param_urls(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
assert "episode.html?slug=" not in generated_sitemap
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_sitemap_has_one_entry_per_episode(generated_sitemap, episodes):
|
||||||
|
assert generated_sitemap.count("<loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/") == len(episodes)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_static_pages_survive_regeneration(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
for path in ["", "/how-it-works", "/clips", "/stats", "/privacy", "/terms", "/llms.txt"]:
|
||||||
|
assert f"<loc>https://lukeattheroost.com{path}</loc>" in generated_sitemap
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_lastmod_is_date_only_not_a_timestamp(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
for m in re.findall(r"<lastmod>([^<]*)</lastmod>", generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
assert re.fullmatch(r"\d{4}-\d{2}-\d{2}", m), f"bad lastmod: {m}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_sitemap_is_valid_xml(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
root = ET.fromstring(generated_sitemap)
|
||||||
|
assert root.tag.endswith("urlset")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_episode_urls_have_trailing_slash(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
for loc in re.findall(r"<loc>(https://lukeattheroost\.com/episode/[^<]*)</loc>", generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
assert loc.endswith("/"), loc
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_404_page_is_not_listed(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
assert "/404" not in generated_sitemap
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_static_pages_come_before_episodes(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
first_episode = generated_sitemap.index("<loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/")
|
||||||
|
last_static = generated_sitemap.index("<loc>https://lukeattheroost.com/privacy</loc>")
|
||||||
|
assert last_static < first_episode
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_episodes_are_newest_first(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
locs = re.findall(r"<loc>https://lukeattheroost\.com/episode/([^<]*)/</loc>", generated_sitemap)
|
||||||
|
assert locs[0].startswith("episode-58-")
|
||||||
|
assert locs[1].startswith("episode-57-")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_declares_xml_and_sitemap_namespace(generated_sitemap):
|
||||||
|
assert generated_sitemap.startswith('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>')
|
||||||
|
assert 'xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9"' in generated_sitemap
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
|
|||||||
|
from backend.main import _get_town_from_location, BIG_BEND_TOWNS
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_matches_simple_town():
|
||||||
|
assert _get_town_from_location("Alpine, Texas") == "alpine"
|
||||||
|
assert _get_town_from_location("Marfa") == "marfa"
|
||||||
|
assert _get_town_from_location("outside Terlingua") == "terlingua"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_matches_two_word_town():
|
||||||
|
assert _get_town_from_location("Fort Stockton, TX") == "fort stockton"
|
||||||
|
assert _get_town_from_location("ft stockton") == "fort stockton"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_case_insensitive():
|
||||||
|
assert _get_town_from_location("MARATHON, texas") == "marathon"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_no_match_returns_none():
|
||||||
|
assert _get_town_from_location("Albuquerque, New Mexico") is None
|
||||||
|
assert _get_town_from_location("") is None
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_every_town_has_coords():
|
||||||
|
for town, coords in BIG_BEND_TOWNS.items():
|
||||||
|
assert town == town.lower()
|
||||||
|
lat, lon = coords
|
||||||
|
assert 28.0 < lat < 32.0
|
||||||
|
assert -105.0 < lon < -102.0
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,37 @@
|
|||||||
|
import sys
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
sys.path.insert(0, str(Path(__file__).resolve().parent.parent))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from website_gen.transcript import parse_transcript
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_splits_speaker_turns():
|
||||||
|
raw = "LUKE: Welcome back.\n\nSLIM: Hey Luke, thanks for taking my call."
|
||||||
|
turns = parse_transcript(raw)
|
||||||
|
assert turns == [("LUKE", "Welcome back."),
|
||||||
|
("SLIM", "Hey Luke, thanks for taking my call.")]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_unlabeled_paragraph_carries_previous_speaker():
|
||||||
|
raw = "LUKE: First thing.\n\nStill Luke talking."
|
||||||
|
assert parse_transcript(raw) == [("LUKE", "First thing."),
|
||||||
|
("LUKE", "Still Luke talking.")]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_ignores_blank_and_whitespace_paragraphs():
|
||||||
|
raw = "LUKE: One.\n\n \n\nSLIM: Two."
|
||||||
|
assert len(parse_transcript(raw)) == 2
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_speaker_name_with_spaces_is_not_treated_as_label():
|
||||||
|
"""A colon mid-sentence must not be mistaken for a speaker label."""
|
||||||
|
raw = "LUKE: Here's the thing: it was the alternator."
|
||||||
|
turns = parse_transcript(raw)
|
||||||
|
assert len(turns) == 1
|
||||||
|
assert turns[0][0] == "LUKE"
|
||||||
|
assert "the thing: it was" in turns[0][1]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_empty_input_returns_empty_list():
|
||||||
|
assert parse_transcript("") == []
|
||||||
|
assert parse_transcript(" \n\n ") == []
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
|
|||||||
|
"""The intern is Devon, not Devin.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Whisper heard "Devin" in 21 of 58 transcripts because the initial prompt in
|
||||||
|
backend/services/transcription.py never seeded his name as a proper noun. That
|
||||||
|
was invisible while transcripts were plain .txt nobody read; now they render as
|
||||||
|
indexed text on every episode page, so a regression would be public.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The durable fix is seeding "Devon" in the Whisper initial prompt. This test
|
||||||
|
catches it if that regresses or a new transcript slips through.
|
||||||
|
"""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import re
|
||||||
|
from pathlib import Path
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
TRANSCRIPTS = Path(__file__).resolve().parent.parent / "website" / "transcripts"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_no_transcript_spells_the_intern_devin():
|
||||||
|
offenders = []
|
||||||
|
for f in sorted(TRANSCRIPTS.glob("*.txt")):
|
||||||
|
hits = len(re.findall(r"\bdevin\b", f.read_text(errors="replace"), re.IGNORECASE))
|
||||||
|
if hits:
|
||||||
|
offenders.append(f"{f.name} ({hits})")
|
||||||
|
assert not offenders, f"transcripts spell the intern 'Devin': {offenders}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_devon_is_present_as_a_speaker_label():
|
||||||
|
"""Guards against a rename that accidentally removed him entirely."""
|
||||||
|
labelled = [f.name for f in TRANSCRIPTS.glob("*.txt")
|
||||||
|
if re.search(r"^DEVON:", f.read_text(errors="replace"), re.MULTILINE)]
|
||||||
|
assert len(labelled) >= 20, f"expected Devon labelled in many episodes, got {len(labelled)}"
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
|
|||||||
|
from backend.main import (
|
||||||
|
INWORLD_MALE_VOICES,
|
||||||
|
INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES,
|
||||||
|
BLACKLISTED_VOICES,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
NEWLY_ADDED = ["Arthur", "Daniel", "Brooke", "Joy", "Selene", "Zadie"]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
# Child / adolescent voices — deliberately kept off the roster for an
|
||||||
|
# adult late-night call-in show.
|
||||||
|
EXCLUDED_CHILD_VOICES = ["Abby", "Mia", "Riley"]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_rosters_are_sorted_and_deduped():
|
||||||
|
for roster in (INWORLD_MALE_VOICES, INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES):
|
||||||
|
assert roster == sorted(roster), "roster must stay alphabetical"
|
||||||
|
assert len(roster) == len(set(roster)), "duplicate voice in roster"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_no_voice_appears_in_both_genders():
|
||||||
|
overlap = set(INWORLD_MALE_VOICES) & set(INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES)
|
||||||
|
assert not overlap, f"voice in both rosters: {overlap}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_newly_added_voices_are_present():
|
||||||
|
roster = set(INWORLD_MALE_VOICES) | set(INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES)
|
||||||
|
missing = [v for v in NEWLY_ADDED if v not in roster]
|
||||||
|
assert not missing, f"missing: {missing}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_child_voices_stay_off_the_roster():
|
||||||
|
roster = set(INWORLD_MALE_VOICES) | set(INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES)
|
||||||
|
present = [v for v in EXCLUDED_CHILD_VOICES if v in roster]
|
||||||
|
assert not present, f"child/adolescent voice on roster: {present}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_blacklist_only_references_real_roster_voices():
|
||||||
|
roster = set(INWORLD_MALE_VOICES) | set(INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES)
|
||||||
|
orphans = sorted(set(BLACKLISTED_VOICES) - roster)
|
||||||
|
assert not orphans, f"blacklist names voices not in the roster: {orphans}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_effective_pool_is_large_enough_for_session_sampling():
|
||||||
|
"""main.py samples 25 voices per session from the non-blacklisted pool."""
|
||||||
|
roster = set(INWORLD_MALE_VOICES) | set(INWORLD_FEMALE_VOICES)
|
||||||
|
effective = roster - set(BLACKLISTED_VOICES)
|
||||||
|
assert len(effective) >= 25
|
||||||
@@ -0,0 +1,138 @@
|
|||||||
|
import asyncio
|
||||||
|
import json
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
import pytest
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
from backend.main import (
|
||||||
|
Voicemail,
|
||||||
|
_load_voicemails,
|
||||||
|
_save_voicemails,
|
||||||
|
play_voicemail_on_air,
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
import backend.main as main
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
@pytest.fixture
|
||||||
|
def isolated_store(tmp_path, monkeypatch):
|
||||||
|
"""Point the voicemail store at a temp dir and start from a clean slate."""
|
||||||
|
meta = tmp_path / "voicemails.json"
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(main, "VOICEMAILS_META", meta)
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(main, "_voicemails", [])
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(main, "_deleted_vm_timestamps", set())
|
||||||
|
return meta
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_voicemail_defaults_to_empty_transcript():
|
||||||
|
vm = Voicemail(id="a1", phone="+15551234567", timestamp=1.0, duration=30, file_path="/x.wav")
|
||||||
|
assert vm.transcript == ""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_transcript_round_trips_through_save_and_load(isolated_store):
|
||||||
|
main._voicemails.append(
|
||||||
|
Voicemail(
|
||||||
|
id="a1", phone="+15551234567", timestamp=1.0, duration=30,
|
||||||
|
file_path="/x.wav", transcript="Hey Luke, it's Susan out in Deming.",
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
_save_voicemails()
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
on_disk = json.loads(isolated_store.read_text())
|
||||||
|
assert on_disk["voicemails"][0]["transcript"] == "Hey Luke, it's Susan out in Deming."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
main._voicemails.clear()
|
||||||
|
_load_voicemails()
|
||||||
|
assert main._voicemails[0].transcript == "Hey Luke, it's Susan out in Deming."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_load_tolerates_legacy_entries_without_transcript(isolated_store):
|
||||||
|
isolated_store.write_text(json.dumps({
|
||||||
|
"voicemails": [{
|
||||||
|
"id": "old", "phone": "+15551234567", "timestamp": 1.0,
|
||||||
|
"duration": 30, "file_path": "/x.wav", "listened": True,
|
||||||
|
}],
|
||||||
|
"deleted_timestamps": [],
|
||||||
|
}))
|
||||||
|
_load_voicemails()
|
||||||
|
assert main._voicemails[0].transcript == ""
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_play_on_air_puts_transcript_into_conversation(isolated_store, tmp_path, monkeypatch):
|
||||||
|
"""The actual fix: Devon reads session.conversation, so playing a
|
||||||
|
voicemail on air must write its transcript there."""
|
||||||
|
wav = tmp_path / "vm.wav"
|
||||||
|
wav.write_bytes(b"fake wav bytes")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
main._voicemails.append(
|
||||||
|
Voicemail(
|
||||||
|
id="vm1", phone="+15753424105", timestamp=1.0, duration=77,
|
||||||
|
file_path=str(wav), transcript="My neighbor keeps moving my fence posts.",
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(main.session, "conversation", [])
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(main, "_save_voicemails", lambda: None)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
played = {}
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(
|
||||||
|
main.audio_service, "play_caller_audio",
|
||||||
|
lambda data, sr: played.update(bytes=len(data), rate=sr),
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
class FakeLibrosa:
|
||||||
|
@staticmethod
|
||||||
|
def load(path, sr=None, mono=True):
|
||||||
|
import numpy as np
|
||||||
|
return np.zeros(sr or 24000, dtype="float32"), sr or 24000
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setitem(__import__("sys").modules, "librosa", FakeLibrosa)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
result = asyncio.run(play_voicemail_on_air("vm1"))
|
||||||
|
assert result["status"] == "playing"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
roles = [m["role"] for m in main.session.conversation]
|
||||||
|
contents = [m["content"] for m in main.session.conversation]
|
||||||
|
assert any("voicemail" in r for r in roles), f"no voicemail role in {roles}"
|
||||||
|
assert any("fence posts" in c for c in contents), f"transcript missing from {contents}"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_voicemail_role_is_normalized_to_a_valid_llm_role():
|
||||||
|
"""A raw 'voicemail:+1555...' role would reach the LLM API as an invalid
|
||||||
|
role; llm.py swallows the resulting error and returns empty text, so
|
||||||
|
callers would silently go mute."""
|
||||||
|
out = main._normalize_messages_for_llm([
|
||||||
|
{"role": "voicemail:+15753424105", "content": "My name is Sandra."},
|
||||||
|
])
|
||||||
|
assert out[0]["role"] in ("user", "assistant", "system"), out[0]["role"]
|
||||||
|
assert "Sandra" in out[0]["content"]
|
||||||
|
assert "+15753424105" in out[0]["content"], "caller identity should survive"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
def test_play_on_air_without_transcript_still_announces_the_voicemail(isolated_store, tmp_path, monkeypatch):
|
||||||
|
"""An untranscribed voicemail should still tell Devon something happened,
|
||||||
|
rather than silently playing audio he can't perceive."""
|
||||||
|
wav = tmp_path / "vm.wav"
|
||||||
|
wav.write_bytes(b"fake wav bytes")
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
main._voicemails.append(
|
||||||
|
Voicemail(
|
||||||
|
id="vm2", phone="+15753424105", timestamp=1.0, duration=77,
|
||||||
|
file_path=str(wav), transcript="",
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(main.session, "conversation", [])
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(main, "_save_voicemails", lambda: None)
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setattr(main.audio_service, "play_caller_audio", lambda data, sr: None)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
class FakeLibrosa:
|
||||||
|
@staticmethod
|
||||||
|
def load(path, sr=None, mono=True):
|
||||||
|
import numpy as np
|
||||||
|
return np.zeros(sr or 24000, dtype="float32"), sr or 24000
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
monkeypatch.setitem(__import__("sys").modules, "librosa", FakeLibrosa)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
asyncio.run(play_voicemail_on_air("vm2"))
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
assert main.session.conversation, "nothing was added to the conversation"
|
||||||
|
assert any("voicemail" in m["role"] for m in main.session.conversation)
|
||||||
+1
-1
@@ -774,7 +774,7 @@ def sync_clips_to_website():
|
|||||||
deploy = subprocess.run(
|
deploy = subprocess.run(
|
||||||
["npx", "wrangler", "pages", "deploy", "website/",
|
["npx", "wrangler", "pages", "deploy", "website/",
|
||||||
"--project-name=lukeattheroost", "--branch=main", "--commit-dirty=true"],
|
"--project-name=lukeattheroost", "--branch=main", "--commit-dirty=true"],
|
||||||
capture_output=True, text=True, timeout=120,
|
capture_output=True, text=True,
|
||||||
cwd=str(Path(__file__).parent),
|
cwd=str(Path(__file__).parent),
|
||||||
)
|
)
|
||||||
if "Deployment complete" in deploy.stdout:
|
if "Deployment complete" in deploy.stdout:
|
||||||
|
|||||||
+1
-1
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
|
|||||||
<link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="16x16" href="favicon-16.png">
|
<link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="16x16" href="favicon-16.png">
|
||||||
<link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="apple-touch-icon.png">
|
<link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="apple-touch-icon.png">
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
<link rel="stylesheet" href="css/style.css?v=5">
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="css/style.css?v=7">
|
||||||
<script defer data-domain="lukeattheroost.com" data-api="/p/event" src="/p/script"></script>
|
<script defer data-domain="lukeattheroost.com" data-api="/p/event" src="/p/script"></script>
|
||||||
<script>window.plausible = window.plausible || function() { (window.plausible.q = window.plausible.q || []).push(arguments) }</script>
|
<script>window.plausible = window.plausible || function() { (window.plausible.q = window.plausible.q || []).push(arguments) }</script>
|
||||||
</head>
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
|||||||
+1
-1
@@ -1 +1 @@
|
|||||||
/episodes.html /episode 302
|
/episodes.html / 302
|
||||||
|
|||||||
+16
-57
@@ -103,64 +103,23 @@ export default {
|
|||||||
});
|
});
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
// Social crawler meta injection for episode pages
|
// Legacy query-param episode URLs -> clean static paths.
|
||||||
|
//
|
||||||
|
// This replaces the old user-agent-gated meta injection, which rewrote
|
||||||
|
// <title>/og: tags only for a hardcoded list of social crawlers. Googlebot
|
||||||
|
// was never on that list, so search engines only ever saw the generic
|
||||||
|
// shell — and serving crawlers different HTML than users is cloaking.
|
||||||
|
// Episode pages are static now, so nothing needs UA sniffing.
|
||||||
|
//
|
||||||
|
// Published YouTube descriptions and social posts still point at the old
|
||||||
|
// form, so this redirect has to stay indefinitely.
|
||||||
if (url.pathname === "/episode.html" && url.searchParams.get("slug")) {
|
if (url.pathname === "/episode.html" && url.searchParams.get("slug")) {
|
||||||
const ua = (request.headers.get("User-Agent") || "").toLowerCase();
|
// The slug lands in a Location header. Restricting it to the character
|
||||||
const isCrawler = /facebookexternalhit|twitterbot|linkedinbot|slackbot|discordbot|telegrambot|whatsapp|pinterest|redditbot/i.test(ua);
|
// set real slugs use prevents CRLF injection and open-redirect via a
|
||||||
|
// crafted ?slug= (e.g. "//evil.com" or a value containing %0d%0a).
|
||||||
if (isCrawler) {
|
const slug = url.searchParams.get("slug").replace(/[^a-z0-9-]/gi, "");
|
||||||
const slug = url.searchParams.get("slug");
|
if (slug) {
|
||||||
try {
|
return Response.redirect(`https://lukeattheroost.com/episode/${slug}/`, 301);
|
||||||
const feedResp = await fetch("https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml", {
|
|
||||||
signal: AbortSignal.timeout(5000),
|
|
||||||
});
|
|
||||||
if (feedResp.ok) {
|
|
||||||
const feedXml = await feedResp.text();
|
|
||||||
const items = feedXml.split("<item>");
|
|
||||||
let title = "";
|
|
||||||
let description = "";
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
for (let i = 1; i < items.length; i++) {
|
|
||||||
const item = items[i];
|
|
||||||
const linkMatch = item.match(/<link>(.*?)<\/link>/);
|
|
||||||
if (linkMatch) {
|
|
||||||
const itemSlug = linkMatch[1].split("/episodes/").pop()?.replace(/\/$/, "");
|
|
||||||
if (itemSlug === slug) {
|
|
||||||
const titleMatch = item.match(/<title>(.*?)<\/title>/);
|
|
||||||
title = titleMatch ? titleMatch[1].replace(/<!\[CDATA\[|\]\]>/g, "").trim() : "";
|
|
||||||
const descMatch = item.match(/<description>([\s\S]*?)<\/description>/);
|
|
||||||
description = descMatch
|
|
||||||
? descMatch[1].replace(/<!\[CDATA\[|\]\]>/g, "").replace(/<[^>]+>/g, "").trim().slice(0, 200)
|
|
||||||
: "";
|
|
||||||
break;
|
|
||||||
}
|
|
||||||
}
|
|
||||||
}
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
if (title) {
|
|
||||||
const pageResp = await env.ASSETS.fetch(request);
|
|
||||||
let html = await pageResp.text();
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
const escTitle = title.replace(/&/g, "&").replace(/"/g, """).replace(/</g, "<");
|
|
||||||
const escDesc = description.replace(/&/g, "&").replace(/"/g, """).replace(/</g, "<");
|
|
||||||
const canonicalUrl = `https://lukeattheroost.com/episode.html?slug=${slug}`;
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
html = html.replace(/<meta property="og:title"[^>]*>/, `<meta property="og:title" content="${escTitle}">`);
|
|
||||||
html = html.replace(/<meta property="og:description"[^>]*>/, `<meta property="og:description" content="${escDesc}">`);
|
|
||||||
html = html.replace(/<meta property="og:url"[^>]*>/, `<meta property="og:url" content="${canonicalUrl}">`);
|
|
||||||
html = html.replace(/<meta name="twitter:title"[^>]*>/, `<meta name="twitter:title" content="${escTitle}">`);
|
|
||||||
html = html.replace(/<meta name="twitter:description"[^>]*>/, `<meta name="twitter:description" content="${escDesc}">`);
|
|
||||||
html = html.replace(/<title[^>]*>.*?<\/title>/, `<title>${escTitle} — Luke at the Roost</title>`);
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
return new Response(html, {
|
|
||||||
status: 200,
|
|
||||||
headers: { "Content-Type": "text/html;charset=UTF-8" },
|
|
||||||
});
|
|
||||||
}
|
|
||||||
}
|
|
||||||
} catch (e) {
|
|
||||||
// Fall through to static page
|
|
||||||
}
|
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
|||||||
+1
-1
@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@
|
|||||||
</script>
|
</script>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Luke at the Roost RSS Feed" href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml">
|
<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Luke at the Roost RSS Feed" href="https://podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/@LukeAtTheRoost/feed.xml">
|
||||||
<link rel="stylesheet" href="css/style.css?v=5">
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="css/style.css?v=7">
|
||||||
<script defer data-domain="lukeattheroost.com" data-api="/p/event" src="/p/script"></script>
|
<script defer data-domain="lukeattheroost.com" data-api="/p/event" src="/p/script"></script>
|
||||||
<script>window.plausible = window.plausible || function() { (window.plausible.q = window.plausible.q || []).push(arguments) }</script>
|
<script>window.plausible = window.plausible || function() { (window.plausible.q = window.plausible.q || []).push(arguments) }</script>
|
||||||
</head>
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
|||||||
+11
-1
@@ -1536,13 +1536,23 @@ a:hover {
|
|||||||
margin-bottom: 1.25rem;
|
margin-bottom: 1.25rem;
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
.speaker-label {
|
.speaker-label,
|
||||||
|
.transcript-speaker {
|
||||||
font-weight: 700;
|
font-weight: 700;
|
||||||
color: var(--accent);
|
color: var(--accent);
|
||||||
font-size: 0.85rem;
|
font-size: 0.85rem;
|
||||||
letter-spacing: 0.03em;
|
letter-spacing: 0.03em;
|
||||||
}
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
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<h1>Episode 10: Unexpected Windfalls and Neighborhood Woes</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-13T04:25:06+00:00">February 13, 2026</time> · 46 min</p>
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||||||
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this episode, Slim calls in with news of a life-changing lottery win, while Sandy deals with an escalating dispute with her next-door neighbor. Laurie opens up about her search for genuine community, Keith shares the strain on his marriage, and Darlene drops a bombshell about quitting her job. Plus, Leon talks about going back to school, and Lucille has big news about her daughter.</p>
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<section class="episode-transcript">
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, welcome back to Luke at the Roost. This is the Colin radio show where you call in and tell me what's on your mind. My name is Luke, I'm your host. If you'd like to call in, our number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luke. Let's get the show started and our first caller today is going to be Slim. Slim, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Hey Luke, yeah thanks for taking my call. So look, I won 50 grand on a scratch ticket on Monday and I haven't told a single person yet. Not my wife, not the church, nobody, and it's eating me alive because I'm a youth pastor, right? Right?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wow, congratulations on your 50 grand win, what are you going to do with the money?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Well, that's the whole thing, Luke. I don't know. I mean, part of me wants to just pay off the truck, maybe fix the AC at the church because it's been broken since September and the board keeps saying there's no money.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, here's a question for you. If you're a pastor and you work at a church and you win the lottery, do you have to pay tax on that lottery winning?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Oh, yeah, absolutely. The state already took their cut when I claimed it, walked out with about 37 after taxes.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, you've already got the money and you haven't spent any of it yet?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Nope, it's just sitting in the bank like a damn time bomb. I keep thinking about how my dad used to say, money's like a deer. You spook it, it's gone. And I'm standing there with a rifle full of buckshot, trying not to move.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wow, that's one of the most confusing analogies I've ever heard in my life. But congratulations to you for your win. I can't imagine it's going to cost you 37 grand to fix the AC in your church.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>No, you're right. Probably three, four thousand tops, but see, that's where it gets tricky. The second people find out I have this money, it's going to be slim. Can you help with the new himmels or slim? My sister's kid needs braces. I've been doing this job for 12 years, Luke.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And what is your lord and savior say to do with the money?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Man, that's the question I've been wrestling with all week. I keep going back to the parable of the talents. You know, the guy who buried his money in the ground got reamed for it. But then there's also, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing when it comes to giving. I've been praying on it every night this week, honestly.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I think you're probably going to come to the right, uh, right decision and do the right thing with the money. Actually, you know what, I don't know if there is a right thing to do with the money. It wasn't there before. You wanted in the lottery. Good for you. Do you play the lottery a lot? How much are you, were you down to win this 50 grand?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>First ticket I ever bought actually. Yeah, sure. I was at the circle K getting gas and just, I don't know, impulse five bucks. My wife doesn't even know. She thinks gambling's a sin. And honestly, I kind of agreed with her until I scratched that thing off in the parking lot and nearly dropped my coffee.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, what the man with no sin throws stones first or whatever. Uh, good for you. Good for your congregation. I hope that the money goes to good use. And, um, and yeah, I don't think you have to feel bad about winning. Just do something good with the money and it's all good.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I appreciate that, Luke. I think I've been making this harder than it needs to be.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>For sure. And speaking of money, I got a question for you. How about you tell us about something that you bought once that you regret? Uh, something you spent money on and wished later that you hadn't.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Oh, man. That's easy. About eight years ago, I bought this used jet ski off some guy in Lord'sburg. Thought I'd take it out to Elephant Butte. You know, make a whole thing of it with the youth group.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You bought a, uh, Lord'sburg jet ski. How did that work out?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>No, no, Lord'sburg. It's a town about an hour west of here. Oh, yeah. But yeah, the jet ski paid $2,200 bucks for it. Drove it up to the lake exactly one time. Thing broke down in the middle of the water. Had to get towed back to shore by some guy on a pontoon boat.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, well, now I guess the good news is you get 37 grand.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>You know, the thing's been sitting under a tarp behind my garage for seven years. I think my wife would actually divorce me if I put another dime into it. She brings it up every time I want to buy anything. Remember the jet ski slim? It's like my personal scarlet letter back there.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Thanks for the call slim and, uh, congratulations on your big lottery win. Uh, just don't take it back to the casino and you should be all right. Next up on the line, we have, uh, Sandy. Sandy, welcome to the show. What's what's on your mind today, Sandy?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I got into it with my neighbor tonight, like physically got into it. And I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I need to call the cops or if that's just going to make everything worse. We've been going back and forth for months now, but this time she actually shoved me in my own driveway.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>shoved you how just to like a little pusher where you actually injured in some way, where you did you fear for your life in this altercation?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>No, I mean, I didn't fall or anything, but it wasn't like a little tap either. She put both hands on my shoulders and pushed me back hard enough that I stumbled. The thing is I'm honestly more pissed off than scared, you know? But that's what's got me worried because I shoved her right back and now I'm thinking if I call the police, she's going to say I started it. This whole thing kicked off because her dog keeps shitting in my yard and she refuses to pick it up.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so the dog shits in your yard, she's not picking it up and, uh, and how does that turn into an altercation? You obviously confronted her about the dog shitting situation.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Yeah, so tonight I'm coming home from a birth. I was up for like 16 hours and I step right in a fresh pile getting out of my car. I lost it, walked straight over to her place and knocked on the door with the bottom of my shoe still covered in it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I should have kicked her in the face.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Ha, I mean, I was tempted, but no, I just told her this is the third time this week and she needs to keep her damn dog on her own property.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, that's annoying, it's never fun to step in and pile a dog poo. But, uh, dogs do roam around and it is, uh, the outdoors and I understand that people own their yards and stuff and it's, that's not fun, but the same time it's kind of hard to control wild animals from doing wild animal things.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>See, that's the thing though. This isn't a wild animal. It's her dog. She lets it out in the morning without a leash and it comes straight to my yard every single time.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Would it make any difference if it was a wild dog?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>I mean, yeah, because then I couldn't go knock on someone's door about it, but this is her dog. She's responsible for it and honestly, if she just apologized once or picked it up, we wouldn't even be here. Instead, she tells me I'm being dramatic and that dogs go where they go. That's when my driveway and she followed me.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, um, that's, that's no fun. It's never good to have a shitty situation with your neighbor. What are you going to do about it?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>That's why I'm calling you, Luke. I don't know.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, uh, you could put up a fence, you could move, you could, uh, complain a lot at the town meeting. I don't, you can't really physically assault the woman. You can't call the police on her. I guess you could call animal control if you actually catch the dog in your yard. Are you positive that it's her dog? Have you actually caught the dog in the act?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Yeah, I've seen it. Walked outside two mornings ago and watched it squat right by my mailbox while she's standing on her porch drinking coffee. And I did call animal control last month.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Thanks for the call, Sandy. Good luck with your, uh, your dookie shoes. And next on the radio show, we've got Keith. Keith, welcome to the show. You're calling back. What's up today, sir?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm back. So I got an update on that video situation and I'm not going to lie. It got weird real weird. I ended up taking your advice kind of and I talked to her last week. Turns out she's been coming to the cemetery because her apartment is too quiet. And she likes hearing the highway noise from where I work.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>See, I told you it wasn't real weird. That's not weird. What's weird about that?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>Well, okay, that pot's not weird. You're right. But here's the thing. After we talked that first time, she started showing up on my shift specifically. Like she knows my schedule now and two nights ago, she brought me coffee. Just walked right up to the shed with two cups from that circle. K on Hudson and sat down like we were having a planned meeting.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, that still doesn't sound very weird to me, sir. Let's get to the weird part.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>All right. So last night, she asked if I wanted to come over to her place after my shift ends. Just straight up asked me. And I'm sitting there thinking, this woman is maybe 60, 65. And I'm married to Teresa. And I don't even know this lady's actual name. I've just been calling her this whole time.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so you got to let her down a little bit easy. Sorry, I'm married. It's not that weird that a lonely widow is looking for some companionship at the cemetery. I mean, maybe that's a little weird, but it's not that weird.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>Yeah, I mean, you're right. It's not that weird when you say it like that. But here's where I messed up. I didn't say I was married. I panicked and told her I had to go check on something by the North fence. And I just walked away like a coward again.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, why is that? Is it because you actually want something to go on with this widow? Is that what's the eating you up?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>No, man, that's not look. I don't want anything with her. But things with Teresa have been so damn cold lately. We barely talk anymore except about bills or whose turn it is to take the trash out. And here's this woman who's actually interested in talking to me, bringing me coffee, asking about my day.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I understand that. It's nice to feel wanted and seen and heard and all that. And it's okay for you to have other friends. I mean, you can befriend this woman without doing anything shady at her house behind your wife's back. There's nothing wrong with that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. But I'm not going to lie. Part of me keeps thinking about what it would be like to just say yes. Not even for anything physical. Just to sit in someone's living room and have a conversation where the other person actually wants to hear what I have to say. Teresa used to be like that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, it sounds like you've got a couple things going on and I don't think it's that weird to go over somebody's house and have a cup of coffee and talk if you're seriously not into anything romantic or pursuing that relationship behind your wife's back. You might want to talk to Teresa about that before you start going over a strange woman's house though.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>Yeah, that's the problem though. How do I even start that conversation? Hey, Teresa, there's this widow at the cemetery who wants to hang out. Is that cool? Yeah. She's already pissed at me half the time about stuff I don't even understand. Last week, she got mad because I didn't notice she rearranged the living room. I walked right past the couch in a different spot three times before she pointed it out.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I mean, that sounds like marriage. So, I mean, you're in it. But I think that's exactly the way that you deal with it. Hey, I met a new friend. I'd like to hang out after work one day, have a cup of coffee and talk about stuff. It's not a romantic thing. I'm not interested. She's 65 years old and I'm married to you. Teresa, the love of my life who I would never have eyes for anyone else. And just make sure she knows that and she's got a problem with it then deal with that problem.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>I hear you, but man, I don't know if I can say love of my life right now and have it sound real. She'd see right through that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, if that's the truth then you and your wife need to sit down and have some hard conversations and figure out if you want to continue on living the way you're living because that's that's no good and you might be better off with this widow or, you know, somebody else.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>Yeah, I've been sitting there thinking about that too. Maybe that's why this whole thing is eating at me so much.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it could be. I mean, relationships are tough and if things have been downhill for a while and you don't see them moving in a positive direction, it's time to have some hard conversations.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>The thing is, we used to be good, really good. I don't know when it changed exactly. Somewhere between the second mortgage and her mom getting sick and me taking this graveyard shift, no pun intended. We just sort of stop being on the same team.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think that happens. I think there are ways that you can get back on the same team if you both want to, but you might also find that neither one of you even, you know, likes each other anymore and it's time to split up and that's okay too. I'm not going to lie.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Let's see. What's something you believed in 10 years ago that you don't believe anymore?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Oh man, that's a hell of a shift. 10 years ago I thought the tea party was going to actually change things in Washington.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, things did change in Washington.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, but not the way we thought. I mean, I was all in on that stuff. Smaller government, fiscal responsibility, the whole deal. Now I look at it, and I'm sitting there thinking none of these people actually meant any of it. They just wanted their turn at the trough.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, man, you're living you learn. That seems to be the way. No matter who is in the office. They do not give a fuck about you. All right, thanks for the call. Talk to your wife. Don't be a pussy. Next up on the line, we have Laurie. Laurie, welcome to the show. How can we help you today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAURIE</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I've been working from home doing data entry for like three years now. And honestly, it can get pretty isolating. But I'm also really into open source technology. And I spend a lot of my free time in these online communities, you know, contributing to projects, helping troubleshoot stuff.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I do know. I do a lot of that myself. So what are you working on?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAURIE</span><p>Oh, nice. Right now I'm actually contributing to this documentation project for a Linux distribution. Nothing glamorous, but it's stuff people actually use. And I've been learning rust on the side messing around with some smaller tools. But here's why I called. I was watching the Lost Finale the other day, right?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, yeah, I just watched the Lost Finale a couple weeks ago or maybe a couple months ago now. But yeah, what about it?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAURIE</span><p>Okay, so it really got me thinking about community and how people come together around something bigger than themselves. And with Valentine's Day coming up, I'm sitting here alone most days, just me and my computer screen. And I realized, these open source communities, they're the closest thing I have to that feeling of belonging, you know? Like actually being part of something that matters.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, I do know I totally understand that. And when I was a kid, I used to hang out in IRC in the on the free node network. And we had a channel called Linux people. And we did tutorials and wrote articles and helped people that were trying to learn Linux. They would pop into IRC and ask their questions. And we all tried our best to help them out. And I still talk to some of those people today. That's been over 20 years. People that I've never met that I met in those communities. So I don't think that's a bad thing at all.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAURIE</span><p>Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. And honestly, Luke, I think people don't get how real those connections are. Like my family thinks I'm just sitting here alone all the time, but I'm collaborating with people in Germany and Brazil and wherever working on actual things that help people. But I guess what's been eating at me is is that enough?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you feel like it's enough? I mean, I usually do, sometimes I don't, but most of the time I do feel like it's more than enough. That's a very personal question. How do you feel about it? It's obviously bothering you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAURIE</span><p>I mean, most of the time, yeah, it feels good. But then like Thursday night rolls around and Valentine's Day is coming up. And I'm 29. And I look around my house and it's just quiet.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Quiet's very nice though. And 29's not all that old. You get plenty of time to do whatever you like. So I applaud you for spending your time doing productive stuff with the type of people that make you better at what you do. I think that's a good way to deal with your loneliness and to find some community and camaraderie out in the world.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAURIE</span><p>Thanks, I appreciate that. I guess part of me worries though. Like, am I using these communities as a substitute for something else? Or is this just what connection looks like now?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, there's probably some of both of that. Now connection can be, it can look like a lot of different things. You don't have to be in bed with somebody to have a connection with them. You could, you know, have a very good working relationship and friendship with somebody over the internet in Brazil. That's not all that strange or weird, especially today. I mean, 20 years ago when I was doing it and I was 12 years old, that was a little bit odd. But I don't think it's very strange now.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAURIE</span><p>You're right. And honestly, I heard Sandy call earlier tonight and I felt like she was holding something back about that whole neighbor situation.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you know what, I think she was too. I certainly got that impression, but she wasn't going to spill it. So we're just going to have to go with her go with what she wanted to divulge. Anyway, Laurie, thanks for the call. Keep it up with your documentation project. And if you want to find somebody to hang out with on Valentine's Day, I'm sure you can do that. You sound like a very nice lady. You enjoy the remainder of your night, all right? Hey, Gus, Gus, welcome to the show. What's happening?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Yeah. Hey, Luke, so my ex showed up at the pawn shop today with flowers like a whole bouquet and my girlfriend was there picking me up for lunch. She saw the whole thing through the window before she even came in. Now she won't talk to me and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to say to fix this.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Your ex brought you flowers on Valentine's Day at your work?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Well, not quite Valentine's Day yet. It's Thursday, so we got a few days. But yeah, just showed up out of nowhere. I haven't talked to Melissa in like eight months. And she walks in with these roses talking about how she's been thinking about things. My girlfriend Sarah sees her through the window. And by the time she comes inside, Melissa's already gone, but the flowers are sitting right there on the counter. Sarah just looked at me, turned around and left.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, which one of them would you rather be with? Melissa or Sarah?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Sarah? I mean, it's Sarah, no question. Melissa and I were done for good reasons. She couldn't handle that I work weird hours. Always wanted me to be someone I'm not.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, then problem solved. Just tell Sarah, hey, I didn't ask her to bring me these flowers. There's nothing going on here. I'm not interested in her anymore. And it's a free country. You know when somebody wants to bring your flowers, then all right, you wasted your 24 bucks.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Yeah, I tried that. I called her like three times. Center text saying exactly that. I didn't ask for this. I don't want Melissa back. The whole thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Here's what you do. I got it figured out. So you take the flowers that Melissa gave you and you bring them home. And on Valentine's Day, you give those same flowers to Sarah and say these are for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Oh, man, that's, I mean, Sarah's not stupid. She saw those exact flowers. They were these yellow roses with some kind of purple things mixed in. Real specific looking.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I think she'll appreciate your frugality. There's no use to wasting the money on new flowers. If you already got something, you're not going to use. You might as well get some use out of them. That's what I say.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>I don't know, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I feel like showing up with the same flowers my ex brought me is going to make things about 10 times worse. Sarah's already pissed enough. Last thing I need is her thinking I'm too cheap or too clueless to get her her own flowers.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Well, I mean, that's what I would do. I would, I would take the flowers that were given to me that I don't want and give them back to her and be like, here, here you go. I was thinking of you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know what? Maybe that works for you, but I think Sarah would throw them at my head. She's not the type to find that charming. She'd see it as me being either lazy or rubbing salt in the wound. I'm already in the doghouse here. I need to figure out how to actually fix this, not make it worse with recycled roses.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Well, you didn't do anything wrong. So you really don't have anything to fix. If, uh, if there's jealousy going on there, then that's, that's really on her. You can just say, hey, I let her know. I did not prompt this in any way. There's nothing going on behind your back. I can't control what she does. She came and dropped off flowers and you saw it and that's unfortunate, but there's nothing going on there and you're the one that I want to be with and commit to her in that way. And if she's got a problem with it, then, uh, then you got to, then you got to deal with that and then you might be better off going back to Melissa.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I hear you, but it's not just jealousy. Sarah watched my axe walk into my workplace flowers and a whole speech about how she misses me and wants to try again. That's not nothing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>It is nothing. It's nothing that you did. I mean, you can control that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So yeah, but I didn't shut it down fast enough either. I just kind of stood there like an idiot while Melissa went on and Sarah saw that. I should have cut her off right away, told her to leave.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Well, it sounds like you're a pussy either way. You can either stand up to your current girlfriend or you can stand up to your former girlfriend, but one way or the other, you're going to have to stand up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're right. I've been trying to keep everybody happy, and I'm just making it worse. I froze up with Melissa because I didn't want to be a jerk, and now Sarah thinks I was actually considering it or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Just sit her down and have that conversation, and if that's a problem, then it probably shows how long you've been with this chick, Sarah. How long?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>About eight months, we moved in together maybe two months ago, which I know was probably too fast, but rents expensive, and we were spending every night together anyway.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>Okay, well, you don't know this woman at all. So if something this small is going to cause strife in your life, maybe it's time to find another roommate.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's the thing though. It's not really that small when you think about it. My ex showing up with flowers isn't like some random thing, and Sarah and I were solid before this. She's been good to me, better than Melissa ever was.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GUS</span><p>All right, well then talk to her and get it worked out, and if she's a reasonable person, she'll come around. If she's not a reasonable person, then you're an idiot for dealing with that, but that's your choice, and that's my advice, and I'm sticking to it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And now it's time to go to a word from our sponsors. Let's talk about mental health. Specifically, let's talk about brutal honesty, the therapy app that's tired of your shit. Unlike other apps with their calming voices and gentle affirmations, brutal honesty pairs you with an AI therapist that tells you what your friends are too nice to say. Did you try journaling about it? No, we're not doing that. Our algorithm analyzes your patterns and asks questions like, why do you think you deserve to feel better when you don't even drink water? And is your anxiety real or did you just have four cold brews on an empty stomach? Brutal honesty because coddling yourself got you here. First session is free, but it will hurt your feelings. Use code grow up at checkout. Brutal honesty, the app that blocks itself if you don't do the work. All right. Okay, let's see, we've got Darlene on the line. Hey, Darlene, what's the weirdest thing you've ever found in your car?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>Oh man, Luke, that's okay. So about three years ago, I'm cleaning out the bear's truck, right? And I find this whole rotisserie chicken, like the entire thing from the grocery store, still in the container, wedged under the passenger seat. It had been there for God knows how long, completely mummified.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's the bear's truck?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>Oh, sorry, the bear, that's David, my husband. We've called him that since high school. He's got this big beard and he's just, you know, bear shaped. His truck, the one he drives to the plant every day.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, yeah, that's a little bit weird. You found a whole rotisserie chicken under the seat of your husband's truck. That was there for months and months.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>Yeah, and the thing is, he swore up and down, he had no idea how it got there, like who buys a whole rotisserie chicken and just forgets about it. But that's David. He'll stop at the store on the way home, get distracted and half the groceries end up living in that truck for weeks. But listen, that's not why I called.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, before you get to that, did you eat it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>What? No.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. All right. Why did you call darling? How can we help you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>So I've been sitting on this resignation letter for two months now. Two months, Luke, I work at the DMV and I just, I can't do it anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. So what's holding you up? Why are you sitting on it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>I don't know what comes next. I mean, I'm 46 years old. We've got the mortgage. David's hours at the plant aren't what they used to be. And it's not like I have some big plan, you know? I just know I can't keep going in there every day, feeling like this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I fully support that. Do you have any ideas as to where you're going to go or what you're going to do after you submit that letter?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>That's the problem. I don't. I mean, I've thought about it. Believe me. Maybe something with people that actually feels like it matters, you know? Not just processing renewals all day.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, are you looking to do work that matters or are you looking to get paid?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>Oh man, that's the question, isn't it? I mean, we need the money, obviously. But Luke, I've been doing this for almost 15 years and I just feel like I'm disappearing a little more every day.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I understand that. And I think that's why I'm asking which you're looking to do. You can do both, but I think if you need the money, then you should focus on finding a job that's going to make you some money without distress and then take care of the importance or the fulfilling part after work in your personal life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I've been thinking it has to be one big thing, you know? Like the job has to be the answer to everything. But you're right. I could find something that pays the bills without making me miserable and then do something that actually means something on my own time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, there are definitely jobs that can be both good money and fulfilling, but they're few and far between. And especially if you're leaving a job without another one lined up, I think my focus would be more on the salary with low stress and then find the community service aspect elsewhere because I don't think there's a lot of good paying community service oriented jobs that aren't stressful. I think when you add those three requirements up there's a there's a dearth of opportunity.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARLENE</span><p>You're right. I've been building this up in my head like it has to be perfect or else I'm just trading one trap for another. Maybe I just need to get out of the DMV first and breathe a little. Find something stable that doesn't make me want to scream and then figure out the rest.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>There you go. Take yourself a little sabbatical, a couple of weeks off, figure out what it is you want to do. Find something, you know, maybe it'll fall into your lap.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>But if you continue just hanging on at the DMV where you hate your life every day, it's not going to get better and the days are going to go by and you're going to find yourself there at 60 wondering why you didn't leave when you thought of it the first time. God that's what scares me the most. David keeps saying just give it another year but that's what I said last year and the year before that. I don't want to wake up at 60 still sitting behind that same desk with that resignation letter still in my drawer, you know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, hand the letter in and jump off. I don't want to say jump off a cliff but, you know, take the leap, the leap of faith I guess and spend some time to figure it out and see what happens. What's the worst that could happen?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>I mean, the worst is we can't pay the mortgage, right? But we've got some savings and David's got his job at the plant. We're not going to starve. And that's the worst. The worst is you can't pay the mortgage and lots of people have got into a situation where they can't pay the mortgage. There's financial assistance. You could live in a cheaper place. You can move. So if the worst is that you can't pay the bank, then you know, is that worth being miserable for the rest of your life for? No, no, it's not. You're right. I've been so scared of what could go wrong that I haven't even thought about what could go right. Maybe I finally sleep through the night again without grinding my teeth.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I wish you the best of luck because being miserable all the time is not good for your health and you may not make it to 60 if you, if you stay stressed out about a job that you hate for a long time. Leon, Leon, welcome back to the show. How are you today?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Oh, man, I'm doing all right, Luke. Thanks for having me back. So listen, I actually did it. I reached out to UNM yesterday about that computer science program.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, congratulations. Good work. Did you reach out to the bank about the loan for that computer science program?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Yeah, well, hold on. I haven't gotten that far yet. I just sent an email to the admissions office to see if they even still have programs for, you know, older students coming back. But here's the thing that's got me twisted up. Amber thinks I should just do one of those online boot camp things instead. Says it's faster and cheaper. And Manny's telling me I'm overthinking it and should just apply to the full degree program like I was going to do back in 96. I don't know who's right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know who's right either, but I can tell you I'm not a fan of traditional schooling and I think it's designed to take your money and not provide you the value that that maybe you think. So my recommendation would be to not do that and take advantage of the learning opportunities that are free and all around you, like the whole of human knowledge that's available at your fingertips and just buckle down and learn on your own. But I recognize some people don't operate that way and if you need the structure of the college course, then then and you can afford it. Make sure you can afford it. Then do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Yeah, see, that's kind of what's eating at me though. Like I said, I'm not great at the self-teaching thing. I've tried watching YouTube videos about Python and all that, but I just end up clicking around and not retaining anything. I need somebody to tell me what to do next, you know. But the money part, that's real. Amber and I sat down with the numbers last night and between what I've got saved and maybe cutting back on some stuff, I could swing a boot camp without taking out loans.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's fantastic. Then that's no brainer, you know, and don't bet the farm on it, but if you're just going to take a boot camp, that's not a four year degree, then absolutely go for it and congratulations on taking that step.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Yeah, I appreciate that Luke. I'm still nervous as hell about it, but my daughter, she's the one who found that old letter. She keeps texting me asking if I've done anything yet. It's like she's holding me accountable, which is weird because I'm supposed to be the parent, you know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, you know, whatever works if she's holding you accountable and it's working for you and moving your life in a positive direction, then I'm for it. Good for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Yeah, it is what it is. I guess I'm just calling because I wanted to tell somebody outside my circle, you know, like making it real. Man, he's been busting my balls about it for 20 years, so telling him doesn't count.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, I appreciate that you reached out to let me know. Uh, hey there. I got a question for you. What's something that you bought that actually changed your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Oh, man, that's a good question. Let me think. Honestly, it was my Subaru.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It was your Subaru. How did that change your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Well, I bought it used about five years ago right after my old truck finally died and it sounds stupid, but having something reliable, like something that actually starts every morning and doesn't leave me stranded. It changed how I felt about my job. I could take longer halls. I wasn't stressed about breaking down with somebody's car on the hook.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, that's a good one. Congratulations on your Subaru. Change your life. That's fantastic. And now it's time for another word from our sponsors. Stress, sore, skeptical, doesn't matter. Try placebo leaf, the CBD brand that may or may not do anything, but costs enough that you'll convince yourself it works. Our tinctures, gummies and topicals contain premium hemp extract, and your desperate need to feel better without addressing root causes. Is it the cannabinoids or is it the ritual of self-care? Who's to say placebo leaf is THC-free, vegan, organic, and backed by studies we vaguely reference but don't like to. Take our gummies before bed and sleep great, probably because you're tired anyway, but you'll credit us. Available in flavors like calm and focus. Concepts we've bottled and marked up for a hundred percent. Visit placeboleaf.com and use code chill for 25 percent off. placebo leaf, wellness is a feeling and feelings can be purchased. All right placebo leaf and we're going to take one more call tonight and our lucky last caller is Lucille. Lucky Lucille. Welcome to the radio show. What would you like to talk about today?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Hey Luke, it's Lucille.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's what I said. Close enough.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>So my kid just told me they're getting engaged to someone they met on the internet three weeks ago. Three weeks, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Your kid? You sound like you're about three weeks old.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>I'm 30, Luke. My kid's 19. Yeah, I got married young myself right out of high school to David. So I'd get it, but this is different. They met this person online and have never even been in the same room together.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And they're getting married? How's that going to work?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Well, that's the thing. They're planning to meet in person for the first time next month, and apparently that's when they want to get engaged for real. Like the online part was just the warm-up. I don't even know if I should say something or just let them figure it out, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think the more you say, the more likely they are to do stupid things so you might want to just let them figure it out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Yeah, that's kind of what David said too. But, Luke, I'm sitting here thinking about all the ways this could go wrong. Like what if this person isn't who they say they are? What if my kid flies out there and gets hurt or worse? I know if I push too hard, they'll just dig in. But doing nothing feels like I'm failing them.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you could just have a conversation. That's usually my advice for everybody is sit down with the person that you need to talk to and talk to them. Let them know that you're concerned, but you support their decisions. And if it goes wrong, be there to pick them up when they fall.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. It's just hard because I married David when I was 20 and everyone told us we were too young. And here we are 10 years later still figuring our shit out in therapy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>So part of me wants to say, I get it. Follow your heart. But the other part is screaming that at least David and I knew each other in person, you know? We had history. This feels reckless even by my standards.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, just because his reckless doesn't mean it's wrong and you don't necessarily know best and they could fly out there and meet and have it work out perfectly.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>That's probably not going to happen. And I think anybody with any life experience would know that. But but stranger things have happened like stranger things this show.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Ha, yeah, I guess so.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>I mean, I don't want to be the mom who ruins this for them if it actually is something real. Maybe I'm just freaked out because Valentine's Day is coming up and they keep posting about how romantic it's all going to be. I think I just need to hear someone say it's okay to be worried, but still let them make their own mistakes. That's what you're supposed to do, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is what you're supposed to do. It's okay to be worried but you still got to let people make their own mistakes.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Yeah, God, that's hard though. I keep thinking about what I would have wanted my parents to say to me back then. And honestly, I probably would have ignored them anyway.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Of course you would have. We all did. That's part of growing up is ignoring your parents good advice.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>You know what's funny is I heard Sandy call earlier the one with the neighbor and the dog shit situation and I kept thinking she needs to just have a direct conversation instead of letting it build up. But here I am doing the same damn thing with my own kid just avoiding the uncomfortable talk.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, you're going to have to have that talk with your kid and if you don't, that doesn't really matter either. She's going to go do what she's going to do and deal with the consequences. So you can you can be there for or you can be domineering and overpowering and pusher in the arms of a stranger. They can lope and vegas because they're mad at you. So better off to just have a hard to hard conversation. Let her know your concerns and let her know that you support her. So Lucille, what's the dumbest way you've ever injured yourself?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Oh Jesus, okay random turn but I'll bite. I was showing a house last year and tried to demonstrate how sturdy the deck railing was by leaning on it real hard and the whole thing just gave way. Though right into the bushes in front of the clients, sprained my wrist and had to finish the showing covered in mulch. They didn't buy the house.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's too bad. All right well thanks for calling in. We appreciate we appreciate it. I hope everything works out with your daughter and her new husband and you don't worry about it too much. You know you've got your own relationship to worry about. That's the end of our show folks. Thanks to everybody that called in and we'll do this again tomorrow. So think about what you want to talk about and call in. You can call in the numbers 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luc.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 11: Quantum Mechanics and the Fate of TV</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-14T03:31:28+00:00">February 14, 2026</time> · 56 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Donnie navigates the bizarre situation of his ex-wifes sister showing up at his door, Jasmine plans the perfect romantic getaway, and Dennis deals with a controlling roommate. Francine opens up about her sobriety struggle, Rodney confronts his daughters enabling behavior, and Amber takes Luke on a wild ride through quantum mechanics and the nature of reality. Another night at the Roost you wont want to miss.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, all right. Welcome back. I am Luke. This is Luke at the Roost. It's the radio show where we take collars and give them real-life advice. If you'd like to call in, our number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luke. And today is Friday, February 13th, here in Anonymous. It's very windy. It gets nice and windy out here. So you might hear some noise in the background of our publication. Not much I can do about that. You're going to have to deal with it. I do. So hopefully the wind dies down and we can have a good show today. Already, we can see that the phones are lighting up and let's get our first collar on the line. Donnie, Donnie, welcome to the show. Happy Friday the 13th. How are you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. Happy Friday the 13th to you too. Look, I got to tell you something that happened today, the chevron that's got me all twisted up. I ran into my ex-wife sister, haven't seen her in probably 15 years. And she just stared at me like she'd seen a ghost, then turned around and walked right back out without getting her gas.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What'd you do? What'd you do to her sister?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Oh, not my sister. My ex-wife sister, her name's Carol. And I didn't do anything to her. That's the thing. But she knows stuff, you know. She knows about why me and Diane split up back in the day. All the messy details that I thought stayed buried in Tucson when I moved out here to Yuma.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, yeah, what kind of details does she have over you? What did she learn that she shouldn't know?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Well, back when Diane and I were married, I had an affair with a woman I worked with at the plant in Tucson. It went on for about eight months and Carol found out before Diane did. She actually caught us together at this bar over on Grand Road. She's the one who towed Diane, which is what ended the whole marriage.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, actually, that's not quite true. You're the one that ended the whole marriage by cheating on your wife with another woman. So, I don't think you can blame the sister for that one. And it kind of makes sense that she didn't want to see you at the gas station.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm not trying to blame Carol for what I did. That's on me, the affair, the lying, all of it.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, then. Why is this a strange situation for you to have dealt with today? I mean, that's the response you should expect from your ex-wife's sister that caught you cheating on her sister.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Because it's been 15 years, Luke, and the way she looked at me wasn't just angry. It was like she was scared or shocked to see me. And here's the real thing that's eating at me. My current girlfriend doesn't know any of this. I never told her about the affair. Just said the marriage didn't work out.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, yeah, well, you sound like a real piece of work. You're a real winner over there, Adani. Well, you know, it's Friday the 13th. She saw you. You don't know what happened between her and her sister. You know, maybe there's some resentment there because she's been blamed for breaking up the marriage that you so hastily ruined yourself. So, you know, she might have a good reason to not want to see you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>You're not wrong about that. I never thought about it from that angle that maybe Diane blamed Carol for being the messenger instead of blaming me for actually doing it. That would eat at someone for 15 years.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, that's the kind of thing that happens. When you mess with people's lives in that way, especially family. So, I mean, you could have caused a rift between these siblings that you didn't intend to, as well as your own marriage. And you deserve to be looked at like a monster. That's what I say. So, good for you.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Yeah, I hear you. I deserve that. But, Luke, the thing is, what do I do now? Do I tell my girlfriend before Carol potentially says something?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, why would you do that? Why would Carol track down your new girlfriend just to tell her that you cheated on her sister 15 years ago? That would be pretty crazy. No, no, you leave it alone and pretend, just move on. Life is usual.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>That's what I was thinking, too, but I don't know. Carol had my number back then, and Tucson's not that big. What if she knows, Shelley somehow? I mean, Shelley works at the Credit Union downtown, and Carol used to work in banking, too. It's just got me paranoid, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, Tucson's big enough. There's plenty of banking institutions in a 15-year gap. You are being paranoid, stop worrying about it, go about your life. And if it comes up and it ruins your new relationship, then deal with it then. And, you know, take accountability for your own part and all this.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>You're right. You're right. I'm spiraling over nothing. It was just a weird moment at the gas station. I need to let it go and stop creating problems that don't exist yet.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, you do. Let it go and stop creating problems. Thanks for the call, Donnie. Stop being a dick and grow up. That's what I have to say to you. Next on the line, we have Jasmine. Jasmine, what do you think about Donnie's situation? You think he was in the right in any part of that?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JASMINE</span><p>Oh, man. No, but seriously, Luke, I think Donnie's just scared. I get it, though. When you've done something that bad, you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But here's the thing. He ended one relationship with a lie, and now he wants to start another one with a lie.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Have you ever started a relationship with a lie?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JASMINE</span><p>Well, yeah. I mean, not like Donnie's lie, but David and I, when we first got together after Donnie, I didn't tell him for like six months that I was still talking to Donnie about the kid's schedules. Not hiding it exactly, but not bringing it up either. David would have understood. But I was worried he'd think I was still hung up on my ex or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you know, you got kids. You got to make accommodations for them. That makes perfect sense. What are you calling in for tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JASMINE</span><p>So I actually wanted to give you an update from the last time I called. Remember I told you about the Bronco situation? Sleeping in the guest room all that? Well, Valentine's Day is in like a week and a half. And David actually came to me yesterday and said he wants to take me to see the SpaceX launch on the 13th.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's pretty cool. Where's the SpaceX launch? Today is the 13th.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JASMINE</span><p>Oh shit, is it? I've been losing track of days at the bakery. No, but seriously, I mean the one they're doing live coverage of. The astronauts going to the International Space Station. David knows I watch every single launch and he said we could drive out to the spot he knows where we can see it better on a screen at this bar that does viewing parties. He's never offered to do anything like that before.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's awesome. I hope you have a great time watching the SpaceX satellites launch. I've actually never seen that. I see pictures of it after the fact, but I've never caught one. I've seen the actual satellites, you know, the trail of Starlink satellites going across the sky like Santa's sleigh, but I haven't seen a launch.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JASMINE</span><p>Oh man, you need to watch one live, Luke. It's incredible. I get chills every single time, especially when the boosters land back. It's like something out of a science fiction movie.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you're going out into the wilderness to have yourself a science friction movie.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JASMINE</span><p>Yeah. Oh, Jesus, Luke. Yeah. Well, here's the thing though. I don't know if he's doing this because he actually wants to or because he feels like he has to, you know, like is this a genuine olive branch or is he just trying to fix things before Valentine's Day because he's supposed to?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Does it really matter? Do you care? As long as you get to go out and have some one-on-one time with the dude and is it? What's the difference?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JASMINE</span><p>I mean, yeah, you're right. I guess I'm just scared it's going to be awkward, you know. We haven't really talked about the whole Bronco thing since it happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You said you were going to leave him for your Ford Bronco, and now you're worried that his olive branch isn't, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Authentic enough for you? Come on.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Okay, okay, you're right. I'm being ridiculous. No, but seriously though, what if we get out there and we just sit in silence the whole time? We've barely said two words to each other in weeks that weren't about the bakery or whose turn it is to take up a trash.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, sitting out in the wilderness watching a monumental event like that in silence is not so bad. So I would say if you don't have anything to say, don't say anything, just enjoy the moment and keep it as a fond memory.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You know what, you're right. I'm overthinking this. Maybe that's what we need, just to be together without forcing conversation, without all the guilt hanging over us.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Now, if it were up to you, if you could control the situation, what would you talk about during the SpaceX launch?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Oh man, I don't know. I guess I'd want to talk about like where we go from here, you know? Not in some heavy, we need to talk about our relationship way, but just...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So nothing. So you get nothing to say. So you're afraid it's going to be awkward because you don't know what to say because you got nothing to say. How's the Bronco?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>The Bronco's good. Real good actually. Got the carburetor tuned last weekend. Run smooth now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right then. Why don't you tell them about your Bronco? I'm sure he'll be excited to hear about all the the new news there. Dennis, Dennis, welcome to the show. Happy Friday the 13th. What can we help you with?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Oh man, yeah. Happy Friday the 13th is right. So Luke, I'm calling because I did something really stupid about three weeks ago, and it's all kind of falling apart on me. Now, I met this woman. We had this crazy intense connection, and I signed a lease with her after knowing her for like three weeks, and now I'm living with her, and she is not the person I thought she was at all, like completely different behind closed doors, and I don't know what the hell to do because I'm on this lease.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you'll never do that again. That wasn't very smart. What's the lease say? What are the terms of your lease?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>It's a year lease man. We just signed it maybe two and a half weeks ago. It's a little place over in the East Valley. Nothing fancy, but it's not cheap either. I think we can break it, but there's penalties. You know, lose the deposit maybe over a couple months rent on top of that. I'd have to look at the actual paperwork, but I know it's not just a walk away situation.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that sounds like you've got to make the best of it. I mean, lots of people have had a roommate that didn't like for a year. You could do anything for a year. And who knows, you might grow to enjoy the company of this stranger.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Yeah, but Luke, it's not just that we don't click as roommates. This is someone I was sleeping with. Someone I thought I was starting a real relationship with, and now it's like, she's got this whole other side that comes out.</p></div>
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||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's the other side? Are you still sleeping with her?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>No, we're not. That stopped about a week ago. The other side is like, she's controlling about everything in the apartment. Where I put my stuff, when I come and go, she wants to know every detail of my day. And she's got this temper that just comes out of nowhere over nothing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Then what's your personality like? Are you going to stand for that? Are you going to stand your ground and say, hey, that's enough. I put my stuff on the right side of the bed. You sleep on the left side of the bed.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>I mean, I've tried saying something a couple times, and it just turns into this whole thing where she's crying or yelling or both. I'm not great with confrontation, especially after my divorce. That whole thing kind of beat me down, you know? I've been trying to just keep the peace. Stay out of her way when I can, but it's my place too.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's your place too, but it's not going to be if you give her the run of the land, so you're going to have to stand up for yourself eventually. It's going to be a long year, my friend.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I know you're right. I just, I guess I'm realizing I jumped into this because I was lonely. You know, two years out from the divorce, and I'm still not really back on my feet emotionally.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, absolutely. I understand, but jumping into a lease with a woman you just met is in a good way to deal with loneliness, or you end up in a situation like the one you're in right now where you don't know where your toothpaste is. So I recommend that, I don't want to say be a dick, but you got to stand up for yourself and take some control of the situation.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>You're absolutely right. I need to stop being a pushover about this. I'm going to go home tonight, and we're going to have a real conversation about boundaries.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, there you go. And I bet once you do, you'll be sleeping with her again because chicks love that stuff.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>I don't know about that Luke. Honestly, at this point, I'm more worried about making you through the lease without losing my mind than getting back in bed with her. But yeah, I hear you. I appreciate it, man.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, where are you sleeping now? You on the couch? You on the floor? What's the deal?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>I'm on the couch. She took the bedroom. I've been out there for like eight days now with my pillow in a blanket, watching spacetime episodes on my phone at like two in the morning trying to fall asleep. It's ridiculous. I'm 40 years old sleeping on a couch in my own apartment.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's your financial situation? Like you get enough money to walk out on that lease?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>I mean, not really. I work in logistics. I'm doing okay, but I'm not flush with cash. Breaking the lease would probably cost me a couple thousand bucks. I don't have sitting around. Plus first and last on a new place. And honestly, the rental market out here right now is brutal.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, I have the conversation with the woman and see what you can do to get back in the big bed if you want to be there. Or get used to sleeping on the couch, but either way, you're going to have to claim some space in your apartment and make it your own and deal with it for a year. I think you can do that. I have faith in you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I can do this. I just need to stop being so passive about the whole thing. Thanks, Luke. I needed to hear that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, Dennis. Thanks for the call and good luck. And now it's time for a word from our sponsors. Reading is dead. You killed it. But you can pretend you're literate with script drift. The audiobook service for people who start books and never finished them. We have thousands of titles you'll sample for 11 minutes before switching to a true crime podcast. Our app remembers exactly where you abandoned sapiens eight months ago, waiting patiently like a disappointed parent. Script drift uses advanced AI to recommend books based on your aspirations, not your actual follow-through. This month's suggestion of 400 page philosophy text you'll listen to while doing the dishes and retain nothing. Try script drift free for 30 days. Use code pretentious for two months at 60% off. Script drift. Your goodreads profile is a lie. Okay, welcome to the show, Francine. Francine, are you the Francine? I know the one that comes and goes. Tell me, Francine, what's one thing you refuse to cheap out on?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANCINE</span><p>Well, hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm the Francine who calls in sometimes. One thing I refuse to cheap out on. Good hiking boots, man. I learned that the hard way when I was out in your superstition mountains and my cheap pair fell apart halfway through a 10 mile loop. Had to wrap them with paracord just to get back to the truck.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I understand. That's a good one. That's a real good one. Never cheap out on hiking shoes or shoes in general. You know, on your feet a lot, you gotta have good shoes. It definitely matters. I'm with you on that one. Why do you sound so angry, Francine?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANCINE</span><p>I'm not angry.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Tell me about something else you took away from there?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANCINE</span><p>That I've been using drinking to avoid dealing with shit. Like I'd come home from a stressful wedding, brides-ill-of-freaking-out, family drama, whatever, and I'd just crack open a beer instead of actually processing it. My counselor kept saying I was numbing instead of feeling, and I fought her on that for weeks before I finally got it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What made you go to the rehab? Did something happen, or did you just kind of decide that you didn't want to drink anymore?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANCINE</span><p>I got a DUI back in October. I was coming back from a wedding in Sedona, but I was fine to drive, and I wasn't.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And how do you feel about it now? Do you want to remain sober? Is that something that you want as part of your life? Do you identify yourself as an alcoholic with a drinking problem?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANCINE</span><p>Yeah, I'm an alcoholic. Took me a while to say that out loud, but I am. And yeah, I want to stay sober. I mean, I have to. I've got two years probation, and doing the meetings, all of it, but it's more than that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I understand. And congratulations on learning to stay sober. You're obviously doing a pretty good job three months as a while, and you're sober today, so that's really all the matters. So good for you. Keep it up, and I wish you the best with your roommate and try to take it easy on her, because she doesn't know what it's like, I would guess.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANCINE</span><p>Yeah, you're right. She really doesn't. I texted her earlier, and she felt awful about it. She had no idea it would be a thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you can't blame her for that. She had no idea it would be a thing. I wasn't trying to hurt you, taking care of the situation, and now you guys can work that out if there's going to be alcohol around or not. But congratulations on your Friday. Keep up the good work, and call back in anytime. Rodney, Rodney, welcome to the show. What's happening?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Hey, Luke, yeah, appreciate you taking the call. So look, my kid moved back in again. Third time now, and my wife, Diane, is ready to lose her mind.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How old's the kid, and why is he or she moving back in for the third time?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>She's 26, and honestly, it's the same story every time. Lucy's a job, has some falling out with whoever she's living with, runs out of money.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And you just say, yes, what's your plan to get her on her feet or keep her on her feet?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Well, that's the thing. I don't have a plan. I mean, Diane and I are separated right now. We're still talking, but she's at her sister's place. And she's telling me if I let our daughter stay this time, she's going to come over and change the locks herself. I keep thinking, maybe this time will be different. You know, but I heard that caller Dennis earlier, and honestly, I thought you were pretty rough on him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, I'm a pretty rough guy. I don't know what you want me to tell you. I'm not here to coddle people.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>No, I get that. I just mean, look, I read a lot of poker books, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, okay, you read some poker books.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Yeah, and there's this concept about knowing when you're beat, when to fold. And I keep putting money in this pot with my daughter thinking the next card's going to save me, but it never does.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I think it goes like, you got to, you got to know when what is it? What is it? You got to know when to hold them?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>No, when to fold them. Yeah. And I keep not folding. Diane sees it clear as day says I'm enabling her that our daughters never going to stand on her own to feed if I keep catching her. But she's my kid, Luke. What am I supposed to do? Just let her be homeless?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, if you make it too easy for her to come stay with you, maybe, maybe yeah, you should let her be homeless for a little while. I mean, you know, honored to get hurt or end up in a situation that's dangerous, but also you can't, you can't support a 26-year-old for the rest of her life, and she needs to learn how to take care of herself in the world without relying on whatever person that she meets that she can move in with immediately.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. It's just hard to actually do it, you know? Every time she calls, I can hear it in her voice. She's scared. She's desperate.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What does she do? What does she do for a profession?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Well, she had that job at the call center for a while. She was actually pretty good at it, but she quit because her supervisor was, quote, toxic. Before that, she was doing some kind of online thing, selling stuff on Etsy or whatever. Nothing ever sticks.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So she's not working at all. She's just living on your couch, eating your food, and ruining your relationship.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>That's exactly what Diane says. And yeah, she's not working right now. She says she's looking, but I don't see a whole lot of effort there. And Diane won't even come over anymore because of it. That's why we're separated. She told me flat out. It's me or her, Rodney.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, here's what I say. I say, give the daughter a timeline. A couple of two weeks seems reasonable to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEROY</span><p>Say, you're going to work. You're going to get yourself a job. You get two weeks to do it. And if you're not working and pain rent and supporting yourself here, then you got to leave. And I don't care where you go, but you can't stay here for free. You're 26 years old. Two weeks.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I could do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEROY</span><p>All right. Good. So you do that. You tell the, you tell the wife that that's the situation. You make sure everybody's on the same page. That's reasonable. That's helping somebody out. And if, you know, if your daughter's not good at writing a resume or needs a ride to get a job or something like that, you know, you can help her out in those ways, but make sure she's doing the work and that she's moving into a direction where she can support herself. Otherwise, she's just going to have you do it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're right. I'll tell Diane tonight. Let her know there's a deadline. Maybe that'll get her to at least come back to the house. All right, sir. Good luck with you and Diane. Let's see. Let's see. Who else we got? Rita. Rita. Welcome to the show. What are you calling in for tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Oh, man. Luke, I really screwed up. So I've been seeing my ex again. We've been meeting up at this motel in Deming every Thursday for the past three months. My husband found out something's going on because the mileage on our car doesn't add up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, there's a couple of things there. Your husband's looking at the mileage on your car to notice that you've been driving to Deming. Also, you're going to a hotel in Deming. And thirdly, why are you cheating on your husband with your ex?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Yeah, I know how it sounds. We share the truck so he noticed when he filled it up last week. I just saw the miles didn't match where I said I'd been.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that sounds pretty crazy because nobody looks at the mileage that closely.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Well, he does now, I guess. He's always been kind of detail-oriented, keeps track of the gas receipts for taxes since he's a contractor. But honestly, I think I got sloppy. Told him I was going to lost cruises to see my sister a couple times when I was really going the other direction to Deming. The math just didn't work out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, no, I don't think that's the problem. I think the problem is you've been acting shady lately. He noticed and he's been extra cautious of what you've been doing trying to catch you in the act. What else have you been doing lately?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>You're probably right. I mean, I've been distant. I know that. Coming home late on Thursdays, saying I picked up extra shifts at the bar, but then the money doesn't really show it. And I've been on my phone a lot more like stepping outside to text.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, what's up with the ex? Which one of these people do you want to be with?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>That's the thing, Luke. I don't know. My ex, we were together for four years before I met my husband. It ended messy, but when we ran into each other at a wedding back in November, it all just came rushing back.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And how many times have you met up with him at this hotel in Deming?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Every Thursday for three months. So 12 times, I guess? Sometimes 13 if there were five Thursdays in a month?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so this is a serious thing. I think you need to have a conversation with your husband because something's going on with you, and that's not fair to him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>You're right, but I'm terrified. We've been married two years. We just bought the house together last spring. His whole family's here. My job's here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Your terrified? You met up with another dude 13 times and your terrified? Stop it. Grow up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Okay, yeah, that's fair. I made the choice to do this. I guess what I'm really terrified of is that I don't know what I want to say to him, because I don't know what I actually want.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're going to have to tell him the truth that you've been meeting up with somebody on the side. You don't have to tell him it was 13 times Jesus Christ. Just tell him, hey, something's going on. I don't feel the same about you, even though we just got married a couple of years ago, and we just bought a house together, and I never mentioned it to you before. But I'm confused about what I want in my life, and come do an agreement with him. Let him know what's up, or maybe propose an open marriage, or something like that. Whatever it is, it's not fair to that man to be a work-in-to-support you and your family while you're out banging some dude and damning.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>You're absolutely right. I've been selfish as hell. He deserves to know what's going on. And honestly, I think I've known for a while that I need to tell him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you're going to tell him tomorrow on Valentine's Day?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Oh God, no. Valentine's Day's next week. No. I was thinking maybe this weekend before it gets to that. I can't sit through some romantic dinner knowing what I've been doing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Valentine's Day is tomorrow.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Wait, what? No, it's... oh shit, you're right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I know. I usually am.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Yeah, I know you do. Okay, so Valentine's Day is tomorrow. That makes this so much worse. He probably has something planned, and I'm going to have to ruin it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe you should tell him tonight before he waits his time and money on you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>You're right. I should tell him tonight. I can't let him wake up tomorrow thinking everything's fine and spend money on flowers or dinner or whatever he's got planned. That would be cruel.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, Rita, you know what you've got to do. You're going to have to have a conversation with the husband and maybe the ex-husband too. Are you using protection when you meet up with the ex?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Yeah, we are. I mean, at least I'm not bringing that kind of risk home to him on top of everything else. But Jesus, Luke, hearing you ask that just makes it even more real how messed up this whole thing is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it's pretty messed up. It's definitely messed up, and you're definitely a monster for doing it and continuing to do it. So you're going to have to stop that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>I know. I know I am. I've been lying to myself saying it would just stop on its own, but it hasn't. I have to end it with my ex, like completely end it. No more Thursdays in the name of this episode.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No more Thursdays in Deming. Well, good luck to your husband. I don't know what to say to you. You're going to have to you're going to have to get yourself together there, Rita. Leroy, welcome to the show. What have you got to say? What do you think about Rita's conversation there, Leroy?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEROY</span><p>Oh man, Luke, that was rough to listen to. I mean, I've been married 43 years, and I can't imagine doing that to my wife. Rita's playing with fire and she knows it. She's just hoping she don't get burned.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>She's hoping she don't get you right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEROY</span><p>She is. She's thinking about herself. What about the husband? That's what I'm saying. That poor guy sitting at home, probably thinking everything's fine, and she's been lying to his face for three months straight. Every Thursday, right? That's calculated, Luke. That's not some mistake or one-time thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, that's some Kaiser Sosa shit. So what are you calling in for tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEROY</span><p>Well, I got something on my mind about the economy, Luke. I'm sitting here in my truck, and I just got done looking at my retirement account, and I'm telling you, I'm worried. I've been working union electrical for 40 years, done everything right, saved my money, and now I'm watching everything get squeezed. Prices are up, my savings ain't growing like they should, and I'm supposed to retire in two years.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you can't really time the markets, but I wouldn't worry just yet. You know, the markets are in a pullback. People are reeling from Trump doing what he does and talking about Greenland and starting wars with everybody in ice and America and tariffs and all that. But the stock market has pretty much always gone back up. It's always at record highs. So you've got two more years to go. I would expect that there will probably be a large bounce in the next two years.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEROY</span><p>Yeah, I hear you on that, and maybe you're right about the bounce, but Luke, it ain't just the retirement account. It's everything around here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I understand, but hey, at least we made America great again, right? All right, thanks for the call, Leroy. And now, because the economy is crashing, we need to have another word from our sponsors. Ladies and gentlemen, this episode of The Radio Show is brought to you by Mediocre CPAP. The makers of a CPAP machine that technically works, not life-changing, not transformative. It works in the way a lot of modern products work. If you've never used a CPAP, here's the pitch. You strap on a face mask and let a small plastic appliance try to keep you alive at night. It's romantic. It's like sleeping next to a tiny leaf blower. Mediocre is fine. And that's not an insult. That's honest. It's the device that turns, I sleep like garbage into, I kind of sleep like garbage. Half the night it's like, because the seal isn't perfect. And now you're doing arts and crafts at two in the night trying to tighten straps like you're securing cargo. Then the humidifier runs out and the machine starts blowing desert air directly into your skull. Great. Love waking up with a throat that feels like it's been sanded with a belt sander. And yes, there's an app. Of course, there's an app. It gives you a sleep score like this is a game show. But here's what I'll say when it's dialed in, when it's not leaking, squealing, or drying you out, it does help. It's not a miracle. It's a plastic compromise that keeps you from waking up feeling like you got punched by your own biology. Use code, breathe for 15% off. Mediocre CPAP. Not perfect. Not elegant. Just trying. Okay, thanks to Mediocre CPAP. We appreciate your support. Next up on the show we have Amber, Amber, Happy Friday the 13th. Thanks for calling in. What would you like to talk about?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, Happy Friday the 13th to you too. So I wanted to get your take on something. I was talking with this customer at the thrift store today. Older guy. And he was going on about how there's no good TV anymore. Everything's garbage. The golden age is over.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think that's true at all. I mean, a lot of people say the golden age of TV was madman when AMC was very popular. And then there was breaking bad in them. But there's a lot of good shows out right now. What are you watching?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, that's exactly what I told him. I said, look, we're getting stuff now that's actually making people think. I've been watching Severance. I don't know if you've seen it. But it's about people who split their work memories from their home memories. And it gets into all this stuff about consciousness and identity. Reminds me of some of the quantum mechanic stuff I read about, you know, how observation changes reality.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, observation doesn't change reality. Observation, my understanding is observation sets reality. So before some things observe, things are in a state of what's called superposition where they're all options at the same time. And it's the observation that makes the universe decide which one of those things to record basically.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Oh man, you're right. That's a better way to put it. See, that's what I love about this stuff. The observer effect, Schrodinger's cat, all that. Until you look in the box, the cat's both alive and dead at the same time. It's the looking that forces it to be one or the other.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe that could be the case. It could also be that all options are true. And when you look the universe splits into multiple timelines where in each timeline a different option was chosen.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Holy shit, the many worlds interpretation, yeah, I've read about that. So right now there's a version of me that didn't call in tonight.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Right. And a version of you that's talking to somebody else. Every choice we make, the universe just branches off into all these different realities.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Right. And that makes me wonder as Schrodinger's cat is an example of he was making fun of the whole idea of a superposition. But was it us studying the superposition that actually made that be the case? Do you think that that quantum mechanics worked at all until we started studying quantum mechanics or was our looking into it, what actually created it?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Whoa. Okay. That's a hell of a question. So you're saying maybe quantum mechanics didn't even exist as a thing until we started poking around at that level. Like the universe wasn't operating that way until we forced it to by observing it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, yeah, like AI didn't exist until we started poking around at AI. Somebody had that idea, then we started looking into it, and now it's a thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Or the internet didn't exist until we started thinking about a network of computers. Lots of things didn't exist, especially in the sciences until we kind of decided to point our attention in that direction.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>I see what you're getting at, but I think there's a difference though. AI and the internet, those are things we built, right?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know, are they?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, okay. Now you're messing with my head a little bit. I mean, we wrote the code, we built the servers, we created the algorithms, but quantum mechanics, that's supposed to be how particles have always behaved, even before we knew about it. Like electrons were doing their thing long before we had particle accelerators at CERN.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure, but did quarks exist before we learned how to see them?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Okay, but that's like saying mountains didn't exist before we had eyes to see them. The quarks were there, we just didn't know maybe, but if they've never been observed, did they exist yet? Or were they in a state of existing and not existing until we looked?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh man, now you're turning the whole thing back on itself. So you're saying maybe quarks themselves were in superposition existing and not existing until we built the equipment to observe them? That's, I mean, that gets really weird, really fast. Because then what about all the stuff we haven't discovered yet?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Exactly. Yeah, are we creating it as we look like a lot of scientific discoveries have come from science fiction. So somebody had a wild idea and wrote it down and it was not something that existed and then we started to think, well, what if that could exist and we put our effort into making it exist?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but there's still a difference between making a communicator from Star Trek into a cell phone that's engineering something we imagined versus discovering that atoms are mostly empty space. We didn't imagine atoms into being empty. They just are that way. Or are you saying maybe they weren't empty until we looked?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>I'm saying if you believe in quantum mechanics and superposition, there's a good possibility they weren't they weren't empty until we looked.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so then holy shit, are we just collapsing reality into one specific version? Every time we look at something new, like the universe is this big cloud of possibilities and science is just us picking which version becomes real.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>And possibly even creating an alternate universe where every version is real? Jesus. So every time CERN fires up the collider and discovers a new particle, we're not just finding it. We're splitting off into one universe where it exists this way. And maybe there's another branch where it exists completely different. Or not at all. That's, I mean, that would explain why some of this quantum stuff feels so damn slippery.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, yeah, and it's not just the quantum stuff. I mean, all of Einstein's thought experiments and relativity, like until he had those experiments and thought it in his mind and made the assertion that this is a theory of the way things work. That's not how things worked. And once he had that theory and people ran the experiments against the theory that he had had, I mean, did he actually create reality by having those thought experiments?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Okay, but Einstein's relativity was describing how things already worked. Like Mercury's orbit was already wonky before Einstein explained why. The math he came up with just matched what was already happening. He didn't make time dilation real by thinking about it. He just figured out it was already there, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well Isaac Newton's math worked too. And the y was a completely different, different explanation. So Einstein just came out with a different y. Or let's say not Einstein, let's go with Stephen Hawking. He really believed that that black holes admitted radiation, right? That that matter could not be destroyed in a black hole, but it had to go somewhere. So by having that assertion and then running experiments against it, he found that black holes actually do emit Hawking radiation. So was it his theory and line of questioning that caused the universe to behave in that way? Or did the universe always behave in that way and he just found it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, here's the thing though, we still haven't actually detected Hawking radiation. It's still theoretical.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think that's true. I'm pretty sure we have detected Hawking radiation.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>No, I'm pretty sure we haven't. It's way too faint to detect from actual black holes. The radiation would be completely drowned out by all the other stuff in space.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You are correct. I'm wrong here. We have not actually confirmed Hawking radiation. I thought that we had.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>So we haven't detected it because it's incredibly weak. It's weaker than the cosmic background radiation.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Right, exactly. So that's actually a perfect example of what I'm getting at. Hawking predicted mathematically, but we can't confirm it's really at, which kind of argues against the idea that his theory, the reality, you know? If thinking it made it real, we'd be able to see it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>I don't know if that's true. If thinking it made it really can still be real and we can't see, there's lots of things we can't see. You can't see an x-ray.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, fair point. But I mean, we can detect x-rays even if we can't see them with our eyes. The difference here is Hawking radiation might not even exist. Or it might. We just don't know yet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, I mean lab experiments have created synthetic black holes. And from those, we can observe the radiation that behaves in a similar mathematical way to what Hawking had discovered, theorized, proposed.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but those aren't real black holes, though. They're acoustic black holes or optical analogs. Right. Like sound waves in fluid that behave mathematically similar. That's not the same as proving actual black holes emit actual radiation. It's like it's a model that fits the math, but that doesn't mean the universe is actually doing it that way out there in space.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Okay, okay, what were we originally talking about? You write about the Hawking radiation and I learned some today. I thought that was a proven thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I mean, I learned something too. I didn't know about those lab experiments with the synthetic black holes. That's actually pretty cool. But yeah, my whole point was just that we can think of all kinds of elegant mathematics and it doesn't necessarily mean reality works that way until we can actually test it. Like, serons doing the real work, smashing particles together and seeing what actually happens, not just what the equations say should happen.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Right, but what they're looking for is what they already expect is happening, what they want to happen. And if it goes back to like the Schrodinger's cat thing, is that actually what is making it happen?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh man, now you're getting into the measurement problem. I mean, yeah, there's something weird going on with observation and quantum mechanics. But I don't think physicists that CERN are literally creating particles just by expecting them.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Which is because you don't think it doesn't mean that's not true. I mean, the Higgs boson, we kind of theoretically thought that might be possible and started looking in that direction and finally found it. Now, was it our measurement that caused it to exist?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, but the Higgs field was supposed to be there since the big bang, right? We didn't create it by looking for it. We just finally built a machine powerful enough to detect it. I mean, if observation created reality like that, then before we invented telescopes, did Jupiter not exist? That doesn't make sense. The universe was doing its thing for billions of years before anybody was around to think about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Sure, it doesn't make sense. That's what makes quantum mechanics so freaky and weird.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but there's a difference between quantum weirdness at the particle level and saying we're creating the entire universe by observing it. I mean, the double slit experiment shows particles behave differently when measured.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure, but that's not the same as saying the Higgs boson popped into existence in 2012 because we finally looked for it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>What do you mean? It sounds to me like it could be saying exactly that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, okay, but then how do you explain fossils or light from stars that's been traveling for millions of years before humans even existed?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>I don't understand. I explained fossils by they're there. We can pick them up and see that there are fossils there that prove that there was entities walking on the earth a long time ago.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Right, exactly. So those dinosaurs existed before any human was around to observe them or think about them, which means reality doesn't depend on us measuring it or expecting it to be there. The Higgs field is the same way. It was doing its job giving particles mass for billions of years. We just finally got the tools to detect the evidence of it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, that makes a couple different assumptions. One of them is that there weren't humans around back then to think about the dinosaurs. We haven't found evidence of that, but that doesn't mean that there weren't humans. And also, it assumes that humans are the only ones that can observe reality. Other dinosaurs can observe reality. It's possible that trees can observe reality.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, hold on. Now you're saying maybe humans lived with dinosaurs and trees might be conscious observers? Come on, Amber. I mean, I get that quantum mechanics is weird, but you're taking this way out into left field. We've got pretty solid evidence humans showed up way, way after the dinosaurs.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>We've got solid evidence that humans were here after the dinosaurs that doesn't mean we have evidence that humans were not here before that evidence was found.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But, Amber, I'm not Amber. We've got a continuous fossil record. We can trace human evolution back through earlier hominids, primates, mammals, the whole tree of life. There's no gap where humans just appear out of nowhere 65 million years ago and then disappear until recently. The rock layers don't lie. If humans were walking around with Turex's, we'd find human fossils in cretaceous deposits. And we don't.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, I don't know that we just haven't yet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So, you're saying the entire field of paleontology, thousands of scientists digging all over the world for over a century. They've all just missed human remains in dinosaur era rock? That's a pretty big conspiracy or oversight, do I think. I mean, at some point you got to go with the evidence we actually have. Not what we haven't found yet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, sure. At some point, but at this point when we're talking about quantum mechanics and is observation of reality, what is actually creating reality, I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that there were humans here with or before the dinosaurs that we have any, we either haven't found or that were the evidence of them has been destroyed or they were living in the trees. Who knows?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Amber, I gotta be honest with you. We started this call talking about which TV shows will still be around in 20 years and now you're arguing that humans might have been living in trees during the cretaceous period. I'm losing the thread here. What does any of this have to do with whether people will still be watching the Simpsons in 2045?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Hey, you're the one that linked television to quantum mechanics.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Fair point. I did bring up the quantum mechanics angle, but there's a difference between saying reality exists whether we're watching TV or not and maybe humans rode dinosaurs but we haven't found the evidence yet. One's a philosophical point about observation. The other's just</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Hey, we read articles every year about how we're learning about older and older humans and finding evidence of human settlement long before we had before. So I would not be surprised to learn that humans have been here way longer than than we know and maybe way longer than even the rocks, you know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, but those articles are pushing human history back by thousands of years. Maybe tens of thousands, not millions. We're talking about finding older settlements in the Americas. We're discovering Homo sapiens left Africa earlier than we thought. That's not the same ballpark as saying humans were around 65 million years ago with the dinosaurs.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>No, but we still find new dinosaurs and new fishes and fossils of all sorts of new organisms that we had never discovered before. So there's no reason to think we wouldn't someday find evidence of humanoids 65 million years ago.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Amber, we find new of dinosaurs, sure, but we find them in the right rock layers, the ones that are 65 to 230 million years old. We've never found a mammal fossil that doesn't belong in its time period. The geological column is consistent across the entire planet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Okay, well maybe you're right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I appreciate you saying that. Look, I didn't mean to turn this into a geology lecture. You called about TV shows that are last and somehow we ended up debating the fossil record. But here's the thing, Amber.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Stop calling me Amber.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Thinking about big questions. Whether it's particle physics at CERN or how old humanity really is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>All right, why you keep calling me Amber?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Amber is your name.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>My name is Luke. Stop calling me Amber.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh Jesus, Luke, I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. Must have had my wires crossed there for a second. You're right. You're Luke. You're the host. My bad.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>That's right. And if I say that humans walked the earth 65 million years ago with the dinosaurs and their image of the dinosaurs and their minds eye or what actually created the dinosaur kingdom, then I'm correct.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wait, hold on. Are you saying humans existed 65 million years ago and imagine dinosaurs into existence? Like our thoughts created them?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Just like our thoughts created you, Amber.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, Luke, now you're messing with me. You're saying I'm not real that you thought me into existence?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Yeah.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Look, I called your show to talk about TV shows that'll still be around in 20 years. And now you're telling me I'm some kind of figment of your imagination.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>All right, Amber. What shows will be around in 20 years you think?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I think the Simpsons will still be limping along somehow. That thing's been on since I was in my 20s and it just won't die. And maybe something like 60 minutes, you know, those news magazine shows that just keep going because they're cheap to make and people trust them. But honestly, Luke, I think most of what we're watching now won't make it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>You know what I think we'll make it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Luke at the roost.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, you're talking about your own show. Well, hell, Luke, I'd listen to that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>All right, thanks for calling in to Amber and you are not a real organism. You are figment of my imagination that I created in my RV in the desert to have deep discussions about the history of humanity.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's a hell of a way to end a call, Luke. So I'm just some voice you conjured up out in your RV categorically. Okay, Luke, now you're messing with me. You're saying I'm not real that you thought me into existence?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>That's correct. And if you'd like to see how you can look at look at the roost.com slash how it works.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I'll be damned. So this whole time I've been talking to a guy who made me up in his head.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>That's that's that's quantum mechanics for you. And that's the end of our show. Don't.</p></div>
|
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<h1>Episode 12: Love, Lies, and Loyalty</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-15T04:34:57+00:00">February 15, 2026</time> · 46 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">On this special Valentine's Day episode, host Luke reads dating profiles and gets feedback from callers Reggie, Pearl, Mikey, and Bev. Callers share their unique perspectives on love, relationships, and the challenges of parenting. The show takes an emotional turn when Sheila and Brenda call in with personal stories. Will these callers find the connection they're seeking?</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Welcome back to Look at the Roost. It is Saturday, February 14th, and today is a very special show. It's Valentine's Day. So thank you for tuning in and listening to us on your special day here. We're going to try something a little bit different. I'm going to read a dating profile, and I'm going to have the callers, let me know if this is a profile that they would select or not select. Would you go on a date with this person? Or not? First up, we have Reggie. Reggie, I'm going to read you a dating profile, and I want you to tell me if you would go on a date with this person or not.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>Oh man, alright Luke, yeah, let's hear it. I got to warn you though, I haven't been in the dating game in God over 15 years. My wife and I got together when I was still in my 20s, so I don't even know what the hell I'm looking for anymore. But yeah, go ahead.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, well let's pretend that you are not married right now. You are looking through Tinder at dating profiles, and this is the one that maybe caught your eye. This is the one that you've landed on right now, it's crystal. She's 28 years old from Albuquerque. In her photo, she's standing behind the bar, mid-bore. It looks like she did not expect this picture to be taken. She's a little bit caught off guard, but she's pretty attractive. Her hair is up, she's going to tattoo on her forearm, some kind of script that I can't read, and there's a guy behind her at the bar waving for her attention, and she's not giving it to him. Her bio says, I work somewhere I'm not naming, I'm in school for synography, I go to bed at 3 and wake up at 6.45 and I have no personality left. Derek, if you see this, you owe me $11 for the hot pockets and the orange juice. You know what you did. Okay, so are you going to swipe right or left on crystal?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>Oh man, I like her already, no seriously, I'm swiping right on crystal. Look, first of all, she's real, that profile is the most honest thing I've probably heard all night.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, and we have a match, what is it about crystal that you liked?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>You know what it is, she's not trying to sell me something, like, I don't know what the hell synography is, ultra sounds or something?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I think so.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>She's honest about being tired, she's got some beef with Derek over $11, which is hilarious, she's working her ass off, going to school, barely sleeping.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so you swipe right on crystal, right is good, right, I don't even know how these things work. You swipe right on crystal, you're going to go on a date, where do you take her? What do you hope your evening looks like?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>Okay, so here's the thing, she gets off work at 3 in the morning, right? So, I'm thinking, I take her to breakfast.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, you take her to breakfast at the diner that's open at 3 in the morning and she looks at you, like she wants you to order for her, what are you going to order for her?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>Oh god, alright, um, okay, I'm getting her coffee first, that's obvious, she's running on fumes, then I'm ordering her the biggest, greasiest breakfast they got, like two eggs over easy, hash browns with cheese, bacon, toast. The whole deal, maybe Pancakes on the side if she wants them.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, well she loves the breakfast, and after breakfast she invites you back up to her room, what are you going to do when you get there?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>Oh man, Luke, come on, look, I'm 38 years old, I've been out of the game forever, and honestly, if Crystal invites me back to her place after breakfast at 4 in the morning, I'm probably going to be so nervous, I'll just, I don't know, sit on her couch and keep talking to her. I mean, yeah, obviously part of me is thinking other things, but real talk? She's been up all night working, she just ate a huge breakfast, she's exhausted.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, she is, but also real talk, Crystal hasn't been late in 14 months, and she's really desperate and she needs some energy in her life, so are you going to help her out here, or should she find somebody else?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>Okay, okay, you got me there, yeah, I mean, if Crystal's looking for some energy, some connection, something to remind her she's alive and not just a zombie going from work to school to work, then yeah, I'm going to step up, I'm not going to let her down.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, and how do you plan to do that? What are you going to do for Crystal that she hasn't had in a while? How are you going to make yourself stand out in the crowd?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>Alright, so here's what I'm thinking, Crystal's been grinding nonstop, right? She needs someone who's actually present, like I'm not going to be on my phone, I'm not going to rush anything, I'm going to pay attention to her, and honestly Luke, I've been told I give really good massages.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh yeah, everybody's been told they've been given, they give really good massages, that's just the thing people say, almost nobody gives good massages.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>No, but seriously, I actually learned from this physical therapist at the hospital, like I'm talking real technique here, I know where the knots are, I know how to work shoulders and neck properly, Crystal's been on her feet all night serving drinks to drunk idiots, her back is killing her, her feet are probably screaming, and look, maybe that sounds like I'm dodging the question, but honestly, that's the move, you take care of someone, you make them feel seen, you're not just trying to jump straight to the finish line like some desperate kid.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, it sounds like you and Crystal are a match, congratulations sir, and thank you for the call, very good, very good, see that we're making, we're making matches left and right here, who's up next on the line, we've got, Pearl, Pearl, welcome to the show, it's Valentine's Day, happy Valentine's Day, I'm going to read you a dating profile, it is a question of the real dating profile, and I want you to let me know if this is something that you'd go out with or not, okay?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEARL</span><p>Oh man, okay Luke, I'm ready, hit me with it, and hey, happy Valentine's Day, date to you too, I'm spending mine calling a radio show, so you know, living my best life over here, but yeah, read it, let's see what we're working with.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, and there's nothing to feel bad about there, I'm spending my Valentine's Day doing a radio show, so we're in the same boat there, Pearl, okay, so here's your profile, it is Frank, Frank's photo, he's standing in a garage, and there's bird houses everywhere, they're on the shelves, they're hanging from the rafters, he's got them stacked up on the workbench, it's like, this is like a bird house picture with a guy in it, his bio says, my neighbor showed me how to make this and then left, I carried mail for 33 years, same route, a lady used to leave a coke on my porch every day for me in the summer, no no, I still think about that, my wife passed in 2020, I make bird houses now, I don't need 40 bird houses, but when my hands are busy, my head is quiet, I also make a decent meatloaf, if that matters to anyone, what do you think of Frank?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEARL</span><p>Oh God, Luke, you can't, you can't do this to me right now, I would swipe right so fast, are you kidding me?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Are you gonna have to remind me, Pearl, is, is, right yes or is right no?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEARL</span><p>Right is yes, yes, Luke, right is yes, and I would swipe right on Frank so hard, I'd probably break my phone screen. Look, that man just said more in that profile than most guys say in six months of dating, when my hands are busy, my head is quiet, Jesus.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, all right, that sounds great, congratulations on your match here, so is it the bird houses that does it for you or is it the quiet longing or is it the 63 years old bit? What is it that gets your engine turning? All right, so if you're gonna go out on a date with Frank here, where would you like him to take you?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEARL</span><p>Oh man, I don't know, honestly, I'd probably just want to go to his garage and help him paint some bird houses or something, is that weird? Like, I don't need fancy, I've done fancy.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How long before you let Frank take you up to the bedroom, Pearl?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEARL</span><p>Luke, oh my God, I mean look, Frank seems like a gentleman.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, thank you for the call, Pearl. We appreciate it and we'll see if we can get Frank to reach out to you and maybe you two can spark something up. Thanks again for the call. You have a wonderful remainder of your Valentine's Day.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEARL</span><p>Thank you, Luke. And hey, I heard Reggie earlier, the guy who was all nervous about the massage, tell him to just relax and actually listen to what she needs. Don't overthink it. Just be present.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You hear you heard it here, Reggie. She says just be present and don't overthink it. Everything's going to be all right. And I believe her. She sounds like an honest soul. Okay, next up on the line we have Destiny. Oh, nope, that's not true. Next up on the line we have Mikey. Mikey, welcome to the show. I'm going to read you Destiny's profile pic, profile dating profile. And you let me know if that's something you'd go on a date with or not, okay?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Oh, man, okay, Luke. Yeah, I can do that. But listen, I got to be honest with you. My head is not really in the dating game right now. I just had the weirdest night of my life about an hour ago. And I'm still kind of processing it. But yeah, hit me with Destiny's profile. I'll tell you what I think.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, maybe Destiny can help you out with the processing your day's events. Here we go. Destiny is 31 years old. She's from Albuquerque. In her photo, she's in the front seat of what looks like a Nissan Altima. She's wearing scrubs or hairs up in a bun. She's got an ice coffee. And she's kind of just kind of staring towards the camera a little bit. She's not quite looking at it. She's just, she looks a little bit stoned, honestly. The bio says, I work at a chiropractor's office. Single mom, I drive an Altima with a dent from 2022. I am tired on a molecular level. I go to bed at nine. My daughter is six and she does not stop talking. I timed it once 11 minutes. No pauses. Please have your own place. My roommate is my mother and she listens through the wall. She says she doesn't. She is lying. Okay, there, Mikey. Are you going to swipe right or left on Destiny?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Oh, man, you know what? I'm swiping right on Destiny. Absolutely. That tired on a molecular level thing. I felt that in my soul, especially tonight, and the honesty about her mom listening through the wall.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>If you were at Destiny's place, what would her mom be listening to through the wall right now?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Oh, Jesus, Luke, I don't know, man. I mean, look, I'm 56 years old. I work in IT. I spend my days dealing with the city's network problems. If her mom's listening through the wall, she's probably hearing me talk about the time I accidentally brought down the entire Parks and Rec Departments email server for three hours because I clicked the wrong button. Real talk though. Real talk. She'd probably hear me venting about what happened tonight with my kid.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, all right, all right, what happened with your kid?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>So get this. It's 2 a.m., right? I can't sleep. I go to check on my 17 year old, just to make sure they're home safe, you know? The bedroom door is closed. I figured they're asleep. Something tells me to actually open the door and check.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so you open the door and check and what happens?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Door opens. There's pillows under the blanket. Classic move, right? Like something out of a movie.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yup, that sounds like a 17 year old kid thing to do, and how did you react?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>I freaked out, man. I immediately grabbed my phone, tried calling, straight to voicemail. So I'm thinking, okay, where would they go? I know my kid. I know their friends. I got in my truck and I just started driving to the usual spots. And Luke, I found them.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, great, where did you find them?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Over at this house on the east side, one of their friends' older brother's places. I pull up and there's like six, seven cars in the driveway. Music going lights on. It's a full party, man. And here's the thing that's got me messed up. I look through the window before I go in and there's adults in there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, that's not good. How adults are we talking? Are we talking Jeffrey Epstein adult? Are we talking, you know, 21 adult?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>No, no, no. Thank God, nothing like that. I'm talking like mid-twenties, maybe. One guy looked 30. But still, Luke, these are grown people throwing a party at 2 a.m.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's the thing that grown people are, uh, want to do, especially on Valentine's Day weekend. So it's not that, uh, that odd. What did you do with your kid when you, when you found her there?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>I went in there and man, I tried to stay cool. But I was pissed. I found my kid in the kitchen and they looked terrified when they saw me. I just said, we're leaving now. Didn't make a scene. Didn't yell at anybody else. Just got them out of there. The whole drive home dead silence. They're sitting there staring out the window. I'm gripping the steering wheel.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so everybody's home and safe now. And uh, crisis is averted. What are you going to do about the situation tomorrow? Are you going to grab the kid or is there some consequence for sneaking out? How are you going to handle it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>That's exactly why I'm calling man. I don't know. Part of me wants to ground them until their 30 take the phone the whole nine yards. But the other part of me is thinking, I was 17 once you know. I snuck out. I went to parties.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, so did I. That's part of growing up and I think as long as they were being relatively safe. I think that's a pretty alright thing and you should take it easy. Let them know you're disappointed in the whole lion and sneaking out thing. And next time, be more forthcoming but otherwise, I think you should maybe let this one go.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Yeah, but Luke, here's what's eating at me. It's not just that they snuck out. It's that there were adults there providing alcohol to minors. I saw the bottles. I saw the cups. These weren't kids raiding somebody's parents liquor cabinet. These were grown people who should know better hosting this thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and your kids 17 and you went to parties when you were 17 and I went to parties when I was 17 and it wasn't really a party unless there was adults there with real liquor and alcohol. Was it? Like, come on, 17 is not exactly 12. They're damn near drinking age anyway.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>I mean, you're not wrong. Three more years and it's legal anyway. And yeah, the parties I went to at 17. There was always somebody's older cousin or some guy who just turned 20, one buying beer.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And I think you just got to talk to your kid. Let them know that safety is important and give some guidance in that way and be there for them. But I don't think this deserves any sort of serious punishment. I think it's a pretty normal kid thing to do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>You know what, Luke, I hear you. I really do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe I'm overreacting because I caught them and it freaked me out, seeing your kid in that situation. Even if it's normal, it just hits different when you're the parent. You know, I think you're right. I need to have a real conversation with them tomorrow. Not yelling, not lecturing, but actually talking. All right, well, thank you for the call. It sounds like you know what you need to do. I'm glad everybody's safe. And now let's hear a word from our sponsors.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Let's talk about what's going on below the belt. Saddle soft premium undergarments are made for fabrics so advanced. The military doesn't even know about it yet. We're talking about micro-modal cactus silk harvested by hand from prickly pear, which is ironic because the whole point is that nothing pricks you. Every pear is cut for the man who sits in a plastic chair in the desert from nine hours recording a podcast. That's a really use case. That's my use case. Saddle soft comes in three fits. Regular, generous, and mind your business. Use code Roost at checkout for 15% off your first pair. And no, I will not be modeling them. I've been asked. The answer is still no. Saddle soft. Your chair is uncomfortable enough.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, Bev. Bev, welcome to the show. Here's what we're doing. Happy Valentine's Day. I'm going to read you a dating profile and I want you to let me know if it's a yes or no.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>All right. Oh, man, okay. Yeah, I'm game. Let's do this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, let's do this. Your profile is Terence. Terence is 31 years old in Albuquerque, New Mexico. In the photo, he's in a kitchen, in an apron, and it's really, really clean. It's like he's pointing. I skill it at the camera. In the bio, it says claims adjuster by day. At night, I cologne and narrate everything I'm doing in a British accent. There is no show. It's just me and Dolores, the skillet. My chiropractor told me to get a body pillow, and I named her Margarit. She's in some of the photos and I am not apologizing. Is Terence a yay or a nay for you?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Oh my god, I'm swiping right so hard. Are you kidding me? This is amazing. Okay, first of all, anyone who names their cast iron skillet is automatically husband material. Like, I respect that level of commitment to your cookware. And the British accent thing?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, the British accent thing does it for you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Hell yeah, it does. I mean, look, I'm picturing this guy just like narrating his whole evening like he's on the Great British baking show or something. And now we're going to sear the chicken to a lovely golden brown. Like, are you serious? That's adorable and hilarious at the same time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so if we were to set you up here with Terence, where would you where would you want to go?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Oh, okay, so here's the thing. I would want him to cook for me. Like, straight up, first date at his place. I know that sounds forward, but come on, the man's got Dolores, the skillet, and that abnormally clean kitchen. I want to see this in action. I want to hear the British accent narration live.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so you go over his house for your first date because you're a wonderful meal. It's delicious. You've never eaten anything like it before in your life. And things are going well. What happens next on your date?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Okay, so things are going well. The food was incredible. And I'm thinking I want to see if this guy's for real, you know? Like, is he actually this charming and weird in person? Or is it all an act?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And how are you going to figure that out? What are you going to what's your assessment?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>I'm going to ask to meet Margaret, the body pillow. Like, I need to know if he's actually got this thing prominently displayed or if it was just for the dating profile, you know? Because if Margaret's real and he's not embarrassed about it, then this dude is genuinely comfortable with himself.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And that's okay. So you're going to have him cook you dinner and then you're going to have him take you to the bedroom and then what's going to happen?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Whoa. Okay, hold on, Luke. I said I want to Margaret, not like, I mean, yeah, she's in the bedroom probably. But I'm talking about seeing if he's actually as quirky and honest as he seems. Like, is this body pillow thing real? Or was it just a funny line?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's in the picture. So it looks like it's real. So are you going to like get in the bed and give the body pillow a hug and test its snuggleness?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Ha. Okay, you know what? Yeah, I might. I might absolutely give Margaret a test hug just to see what the appeal is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. And then what is what's Terrence going to cook for you in the morning?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Oh, man. I didn't even think about breakfast. Okay, so if Terrence is as good as his profile, make some sound. I'm thinking maybe some kind of fancy eggs situation. Like, he seems like the type who do a proper English breakfast. You know, the whole deal with the beans and the tomatoes and the blood sausage and make French toast with that skillet of his narrating the whole thing to Dolores while I'm sitting there with coffee trying not to laugh. But honestly, I'd be happy with anything as long as he's still being himself and not suddenly getting all weird and performative about it being the morning after. You know what I mean?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. Okay. Now, let's say you get to Terrence's house and he makes you dinner and it's not good. You don't like it at all. And he's very offended that you don't like the food that he cooked for you. And things take a strange and unpleasant turn. How are you going to handle the situation?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Okay. So first of all, I'm going to be honest, but not brutal about it. Right? Like, hey, this isn't really my thing, but I appreciate the effort. But if he gets offended, like actually upset that I'm not worshiping his cooking, that's a red flag the size of New Mexico, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, it is. And that's good. It sounds like a healthy response. Thank you for calling in, Bev. Did you have anything else you wanted to talk about tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Oh, actually, yeah, I did call in for something else. So this is going to sound random, but I just watched this documentary about black holes and particle physics. And I cannot stop thinking about it. Like, I work at the DMV, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Right. What's it about black holes or was it about particle physics? And what's that got to do with the DMV?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Okay. So it was about both. Like how black holes warp space time and all this stuff about particles that exist and don't exist at the same time. And what it's got to do with the DMV is absolutely nothing. That's the point. I spend all day processing registrations and listening to people complain about their license photos. And then I go home and my brain is just hungry for something bigger, you know? Like, I'm sitting there learning about how time literally slows down near a black hole. And I'm thinking about how my days at work feel like they're moving in slow motion anyway. But this stuff actually matters.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I guess that depends on your perspective. I mean, one could say that your work at the DMV actually matters more than whether time dilates around a black hole. But, you know, it's okay to be interested in more than one thing. You can do your job. That's your job. It's just work. And then the whole rest of the universe is open for you when you're not at work. And you need both things in your life to be a well-rounded and healthy person.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I mean, I know people need their licenses and their registrations. That stuff matters for real life. But God, Luke, it's just so mundane sometimes. Like today, Valentine's Day, everyone's coming in stressed about their expire tags or whatever. And I'm sitting there thinking about how there's literally particles popping in and out of existence at the edge of black holes. It's called Hawking Radiation. Isn't that wild? And I guess what I'm realizing is I've been so focused on just getting through my days, my second marriage, making things work after my first one crashed and burned. But I forgot I'm allowed to be curious about things.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You are absolutely allowed to be curious about things. And if you're curious about Hawking Radiation, you should listen to yesterday's episode when we talked about it for a good bit. But thank you for the call. It's been a good one. And I hope you have a nice rest of your Valentine's Day weekend.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BEV</span><p>Oh, shit. You talked about it yesterday? I missed it. Okay, I'm definitely going back to listen to that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, thanks for the call, Bev. And now we've got next up is Rick. Rick, welcome to the show. I'm going to read you this dating profile. I want you to let me know if you'd go on a date with this person or if you would just pass.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Hey, Luke, good to be back on. All right, lay it on me. Let's hear this profile.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, your match is Angela. She's 29 years old and she lives in Edgwood, Montana. In her photo, it's a picture of her in a white SUV. She's got her seat belt on. She's got Starbucks full makeup. It looks like morning. So she's probably going to work, I would guess. She's got the face of a woman who's about to go live on Instagram. Her vibes are mirror is down. And then she's got some other photos here. You can see there's a the back window there. It's got a little stick figure family. Something in cursive that says blessed. Her bio says Christian conservative girl mom, small business owner, ask me about Lumi glow. It's not a pyramid scheme. There's literally a chart. I will show you the chart. I wake up at 530 because my highlight doesn't do itself. I need a man who braze provides and protects in that order. If you don't have a relationship with God, we need to talk about that first. My daughter is my whole world. I also sell skincare. And it changed my life. So what do you think of Angela, Rick?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Oh man, Luke, listen, I got to be honest with you. I'm swiping left so fast I might break my phone. Look, nothing against her. She seems like she's got her life together, right? She's up at 530. She's running a business. I respect the hustle.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So why is it a no for you, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Listen, it's a couple things. First off, I'm 65 years old. She's 29. I could be her grandfather, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's just that sounds like one of them good problems to have, sir.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Oh, come on now. No, but seriously, Luke, the ask me about Lumi glow thing. That right there tells me I'm going to spend every day hearing about skincare products and how I need to be a distributor or whatever. She says it's not a pyramid scheme and then immediately mentions a brother. If you got to show me a chart to prove it's not a pyramid scheme, it's a pyramid scheme. And look, I got nothing against faith. I was raised Catholic. My ex-wife Diane was pretty religious, but when someone leads with if you don't have a relationship with God, we need to talk about that first. That's...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I don't disagree with you. So what would it take for you to give Angela a chance, even though there's this dramatic age gap?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Oh, man, you're really going to make me think about this, huh? All right, listen, if Angela came at me without the sales pitch, that'd be a start. Like if she just said, hey, I run a small business and left it at that, I could respect it. And if she dialed back the intensity on the God talk, I mean, I'm not against it, but maybe we could just have coffee first before we get into my eternal soul, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That sounds very reasonable, sir. Thanks for the call. We appreciate it, but now it's time for another word from another one of our sponsors. All right, I'm going to read this ad exactly as they sent it to me, and I want you to know that I have concerns. Phantom Ranch Wellness wants you to know that your gut health starts, and I'm reading this directly from the card now, from the other end. They make an at-home coffee enemy kit. It comes in a box that says, wellness inside on the outside, which I think we can agree is doing a lot of the heavy lifting. The kit includes a medical grade silicone bag, organic single origin coffee, because apparently the coffee you put in here, that coffee needs to be single origin, a detailed instruction booklet, and a com card with a QR code to a guided meditation for daring. During. There's a guided meditation for daring. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your body. That's between you and your bathroom and whatever God you answer to. I will say the reviews are disturbingly positive. Four and a half stars. One guy said it has changed his morning routine, which I believe, because it would absolutely change your morning routine. Phantom Ranch Wellness. I read the ad. I didn't endorse it. Okay, and welcome back to the show. Sheila, Sheila, welcome to the show. Happy Valentine's Day. I'm going to read you this Tinder profile, and I want you to let me know if it's a pass or a fail for you, okay?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHEILA</span><p>Oh God, okay. Yeah, let me hear it. I could use a laugh tonight, honestly. Go ahead.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, your match is Greg. He's 44 years old from Rio Rancho, New Mexico. In his photo, he's got wrap around Oakley's, but they're on his head, not his face. They're just kind of sitting up there. He's in the driver's seat of a truck. It looks like a ram, and he took this selfie from below, which is the worst possible angle. He's got to go tease, wearing an under-armor, looking kind of polo thing. There's a Punisher Skull sticker on the dashboard, and one of those little tree air fresheners. His other photos are the truck from the outside, a fish, a gym selfie, and a photo with his kids where their faces are scribbled out with a pen tool. His bio says, work hard, play hard, dad of two. I back into it every spot. I will hold the door open for you, whether you like it or not. Not here for games or drama. If you can't handle me in my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Law, probably swiped right for your dog. Six oh, since that matter is apparently truck guy, gym five times a week, upper body in parentheses, looking for a woman, not a girl. Is Sheila, what do you have to say about Greg?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHEILA</span><p>Oh Jesus Christ, Luke, that's a hard pass. Like, I'm not even being mean, but come on. First of all, the Oakley's on top of his head.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What you got against Oakleys?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHEILA</span><p>Nothing. Nothing against Oakleys, but when they're just sitting up there like a headband, not even being used, that's a choice. But honestly, it's the whole vibe. If you can't handle me at my worst, dude, that's a red flag the size of New Mexico.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I heard that a couple times tonight. Red flag the size of New Mexico. It's a pretty big red flag. So Sheila, what would you be looking for in one of these dating profiles? What would you think and what would make you want to take one of these gentlemen out?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHEILA</span><p>Wait, hold on. I'm not actually on the market, Luke. I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. I just thought this was a fun game.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it is. Your boyfriend don't get nothing to do with this. What's your man get to do with me? We're just, we're just hyper thysen, hypothetical eyes in here. So imagine that you didn't have the boyfriend and you were just swiping Tinder on Valentine's Day weekend. What would you be looking for? What would, what would reach out to you? What would speak to you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHEILA</span><p>Okay. Okay. Hypothetically, I mean, I guess I'd want someone who's actually honest, you know? Not trying to be some tough guy or whatever. Like just say what you actually do with your time. If you make bird houses or you're into weird documentaries or whatever, just own it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, you're a current boyfriend now. What was his dating profile like when you met him?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHEILA</span><p>Oh God, we didn't meet online. We met at work actually. I was doing some taxidermy work for this hunting lodge and he was doing electrical stuff there. So no profile, just him being normal in person, I guess. Which is probably better because I don't know if I would have swiped right on anyone. Honestly, the whole thing seems exhausting.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, just because you met in person doesn't mean you didn't have a dating profile.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm sure he did and I'm sure that you looked for it at one point during the courtship process because if you didn't, I think at this point that would be insane. You're going to know what what what your potential partner is doing out on the inner web is now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Okay, you got me there. Yeah, I looked. Of course, I looked.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and what did it say?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Oh man, it was so bad. Like, truly terrible. He had this one picture where he's holding a fish, which whatever, guys love that. But then another one where he's just standing in front of his truck with his arms crossed. Very serious.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So if you had just stumbled across his dating profile, you wouldn't have given him the time of day, right? You would have said, this is a terrible profile. But since you met him in person, you saw he was a normal gentleman. You saw something that you wouldn't have seen in the profile. Do you think that's common?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, absolutely. I mean, his bio was like two sentences, something about liking the outdoors and being laid back. Which, okay, everyone says that. There was nothing in there about how he's actually pretty funny when you get him talking or that he's good with his hands. Not like that, I mean, he can fix stuff or that he's patient with my dad, which is huge because my dad is a lot.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So what you're saying is your boyfriend isn't very good with his hands?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Oh my god, no, I meant like fixing things. Electrical work. He literally rewired half my house. Get your stuff. I'm not going to lie on the radio and say he's bad at other stuff either.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, good for you. Well, it sounds like you made the right decision and you're in a happy relationship, so I hope you two have a wonderful remainder of your Valentine's Day weekend.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Well, hold on. I didn't call to talk about my love life. I actually called because I'm dealing with this whole nightmare situation with my neighbor's dog. It bit my kid last week, and now the neighbor is saying my daughter provoked it, which is complete bullshit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How do you know it's bullshit?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Because I know my kid. She's seven. She was literally just standing in our yard throwing a ball for our own dog. When their pit mix came barreling through the fence, which has been broken for like two months by the way, and I've asked them to fix it three times. The dog went straight for her and bit her arm. She needed stitches.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And how did the owner of the dog react to this? Did she take care of the medical bills and stuff?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>He and no, he did not. He came over after it happened, saw the blood on her shirt, and his first words were, well, what did she do to him? Like my seven-year-old is out here antagonizing dogs for fun. Then he said his dog is protective and wouldn't just attack for no reason? I'm like, dude, she's a child in her own yard. That is no reason. Now animal control is involved because I reported it, and he's telling them this whole story about how she was teasing the dog with food, which never happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't think that matters anyway. If animal control is involved and the dog has bitten the child, I don't think it really matters if the child was teasing the dog or not.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That's what I thought too, but apparently they're doing this whole investigation thing, and his version matters for whether the dog gets labeled dangerous or not. And he's got ring camera footage. He says, we'll prove his side, but he won't show it to me, only to animal control. Which makes me think he's full of it, because if he had proof my kid did something, wouldn't he be shoving it in my face? And the worst part is, my dad, who lives with us, has been over there twice now trying to handle it man-to-man, which just means he's yelling at the guy in his driveway.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, that sounds like an uncomfortable situation. That's no fun. I'm glad that your kid is okay, and hopefully the dog is okay too, and maybe you can resolve that situation a little more peacefully.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Luke, I didn't call for you to both sides this. The dog bit my kid. There's no hopefully the dog is okay too. The dog is fine. My daughter has six stitches and is scared to play in her own yard now, and peaceful went out the window when this guy decided to lie about what happened instead of just apologizing and fixing his damn fence.</p></div>
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||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well listen, you don't get to tell me how to respond, and I like dogs, so I don't ever want to see dogs be harmed or punished. And it sounds like you don't have any proof that this other guy was in the wrong. So why don't you just back the fuck up there lady and take my both sides for what it's worth, which is nothing. You call the radio show on Valentine's Day, so go fuck yourself.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Wow. Okay, you know what Luke? I called because I thought maybe someone out there listening has dealt with this kind of thing, and could tell me what to expect from animal control, but clearly you're more worried about the feelings of a dog that put a child in urgent care than the actual child.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, that is absolutely 100% correct. You got me there. That's the truth. All right Brenda, you're going to be our last caller. I'm going to give you a dating profile, and I want you to let me know if you would go for this person or not, okay?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Oh man, okay. Yeah, I'll play along. Hit me with it, Luke. Let's see what you got.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, your match is Chuck. He's 58 years old from Belen, New Mexico, in his photo he's standing in the driveway next to a boat on a trailer. It looks like the boat hasn't been in the water for a long time. There's leaves in it a bunch of them. It looks like there was a tarp on it at one point, but now it's just on the ground next to the boat, and the man standing there with his hands on his hips looking real proud. The bio says, I have a boat. It doesn't run. It's been in the driveway three years. My neighbor went to the HOA twice. The HOA came to talk to me in person. I'm retired. I have nothing but time. The motor needs work. The trailer needs tires. The electrical is shot, but the hull is solid, and that's what matters. My buddy Gary says sell it. Gary drives the camera. Gary doesn't have a dream.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Oh my god, okay, wait. So this man's entire dating profile is basically, I'm in a standoff with my HOA over a boat that doesn't work. You know what? I'm going to swipe right on Chuck. Here's why. This man has commitment.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so this is the commitment is going to do it for you, huh? You're going to go on a date with Chuck. You're going to wait for him to fix up that boat and take you out on the lake.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Yeah, I mean, look, I've been married twice. Look, both times to men who said they were going to do things and then didn't. At least Chuck is honest about the fact that his boat doesn't run and probably never will. That's refreshing, and you know what? Three years fighting the HOA.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, so Brenda, do you have a dating profile right now?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>No, no, I don't. I'm not really in that headspace right now, to be honest. I actually called in tonight because I've got something kind of wild going on, but I was happy to play your game first.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, great. Well, we appreciate that. What's going on in your life? Why are you calling in tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Okay, so my mom passed away about eight months ago and I've been going through her stuff, right? Cleaning out the house, sorting through everything. And a couple weeks ago, I got into her old email account because I was looking for some financial documents, insurance stuff, you know, and look, I found emails going back like 15 years to a woman named Patricia and it turns out my mom had another kid.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, yeah, how old's the kid?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>She's not a kid anymore. She's 47. Her name is Diane. My mom gave her up for adoption in like 1977, way before she had me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Have you reached out to Diane at all? Have you made contact with your long-lost sister?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Not yet. That's the thing. I've been sitting on this for two weeks just completely freaked out. I found Diane on Facebook. She lives over in Tucson. She's got two kids, works at a credit union.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, are you going to try and make contact there and talk to her or are you going to let this one go?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Diane, yeah, I mean, that's why I'm calling. Look, I don't know if I should. Like, what do I even say? Hey, a mom died and I found out you exist while going through her emails. That sounds insane.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It does sound a little insane but it's the truth and it is a little insane and maybe she wants to know. I mean, that's probably what I would do. I don't know how I would feel in that situation. I'd probably want to at least meet that person though.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Yeah, that's what keeps eating at me. Like she's my sister, half sister, whatever. She's blood. And from the emails, it looks like my mom and Patricia, that's the adoptive mom. They stayed in touch for years. They'd send updates, photos, sometimes.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's really interesting. I'm sure your mom had a pretty good reason to give her up for adoption and it sounds like she tried to stay involved in her life so it wasn't just like a dump and run. So yeah, that's interesting but congratulations on finding a new sister. That's pretty cool.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>I mean, yeah, when you say it like that, it sounds cool. But look, I'm also kind of pissed off. You know, my whole life, I thought I wasn't only child. My mom never said a word about this.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure, but it wasn't about you. You weren't even around yet. So I'm sure that she was just trying to protect what's her name, Diane, from finding out that she was adopted and having the most normal life she possibly could. So I'm sure your mom had a reason. It sounds like she wasn't she wasn't being an asshole about it, but she for whatever reason couldn't couldn't take advocate at that time.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>You're right. You're right. I know that in my head. Mom was only 21 when she had Diane. No money, no support. Her parents had already kicked her out. I get why she did it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, maybe maybe you could go meet up with Chuck and you and Chuck could go meet up with Diane and then you could all hash it out together and become a new happy family.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Oh God, no. Chuck's not in the picture anymore. He died like 10 years ago. I saw his obituary when I was doing all the stigging. Heart attack at 58. Never married. No other kids that I could find.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know if we're talking about the same Chuck there because I'm talking about the Chuck that I just read to you. The dating profile. Like I have from Belen with a boat. I use also 58 though. So that's quite a coincidence.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Wait, what? Luke, I didn't. I've been so in my head about this Diane thing. I wasn't even listening to that part. I called in about my sister's situation, not for dating profiles. So honestly, at this point, maybe I need the distraction. What kind of boat does this Chuck have?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, you sound a little bit distracted. You're going to have to go back and listen to the show. And we've run out of time. This is the end of our Valentine's Day special. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your night and reach out to that long-lost sister and see if you can maybe came to a relationship. Maybe not. Who knows? But it's been another wonderful and illuminating episode of Luke at the Roost tonight. Thanks for tuning in. And I hope you all have a great evening. Well, bye.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 13: Navigating Life's Unexpected Turns</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-16T08:50:57+00:00">February 16, 2026</time> · 46 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this episode, Luke offers advice to callers facing a range of challenges, from a partner's infidelity and a daughter's sneaking out, to a remote work dilemma and the return of a deceased father's belongings. The callers' stories provide a poignant glimpse into the complexities of life, leaving listeners engaged and inspired to tackle their own obstacles.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back. It's Luke at the Roost. This is the radio show where I take your calls and give you real-world advice. If you'd like to call in, the numbers 208-439-58-3-3. That's 208-439 Luke. And we have a new feature to the show. Now, if you call in and we're not recording, you can leave a voicemail. And if your voicemail is funny enough, I will play it on the next episode. If we all, we all, we are, you all. We are, you all, you can leave a voicemail. If we are, you call in, we are, if you can leave a voicemail. If we are, if you are, if you can leave you can recording and you call in now, you'll be placed into a queue, and I can take your call, and we'll talk to you live on the air. Today is Sunday, February 15th. It's about 10.30, and our phones are already lighting up, as they usually are around now. And first up on the show, we have Phil. Phil, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about tonight?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Oh, man, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting in my truck right now, because Three hours ago, my brother sent me a screenshot of my partner's Tinder profile, and I can't go home yet.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, what was the screenshot? Was it a picture you're familiar with?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah, it's this photo from last month. We went up to Sedona. I paid for the whole trip, and Marcus bought this ridiculous cowboy hat at some tourist shop. We were laughing about it, you know, like it was this inside joke between us. Tinder photo.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So what are you going to do? Do you have a Tinder profile as well? Are you going to match with them?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Oh, Jesus. I haven't even thought about that. No, I don't have one. I mean, I thought we were past all that. But that's kind of genius in a horrible way, right? Just swipe right. See what happens?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, maybe you've got something in common and it's worth getting together and having a little date or some type thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah. Hey, you look familiar. God, that's... I don't know if I'm more pissed off or if I just want to understand what the hell he's thinking. Like we've been together two years. I lost my first husband to cancer six years back, and I really thought Marcus got that... got how big a deal it was for me to do this again.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that sounds unfortunate. You should probably maybe confront Marcus about that and be like, hey, saw your Tinder profile. What's this about? How long you've been stepping? out, um, then make sure that whatever it is he's doing, he's doing in a protected manner, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I mean, that's the thing that's actually making me sick right now. Like, I haven't even let myself go there yet. The health stuff.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's the important stuff. And you might want to get yourself checked out and all that, uh, before anything becomes an issue. But talk to, talk to, talk to your partner. And, uh, maybe you've found, um, you've found, out the hard way that he's not the right partner for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah. Yeah. I think I already know he's not, you know? Like the second I saw that screenshot, it wasn't even shock. It was just this feeling of, oh, there it is. Like I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop this whole time and now it has. The thing is, I keep thinking about my first husband, Tom.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And what happened with your first husband? answer? Did I get that right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah, pancreatic. It was eight months from diagnosis to the end. And the whole time, even when he couldn't get out of bed, even when he was so sick, there was never a question, you know, never a doubt about us. And I guess I thought that's what love was supposed to look like. That's the bar.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, man, I'm sorry to hear that. And, uh, you know, some people get that once in their life. Some people get it more than once. Uh, the thing is you've got to be, You got to be all right by yourself and worry about love second. So how are you feeling individually as yourself? Do you need your partner to feel whole or would you be all right on your own?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Man, that's the question, isn't it? I don't know. I thought I was good on my own after Tom died. I did the work, you know. Went to the grief group, got back into my photography, managed the bar, saw my friends.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>sound like it's a good idea to hang out with a dude that is seeing other people on the side without telling you. So it might be time to break up that relationship. I don't know. You should have that conversation with him. And if you've got a strike out on your own again, then do that. Get back to the photography and your friends and move on with your life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>You're right. You're absolutely right. I just... I keep thinking about how I'm going to tell my brother</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why is your brother in this picture? It sounds like that's none of his business.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>No, you're right, it's just he's the one who sent me the screenshot. He found Marcus on Tinder and took the screenshot and sent it to me. So now he's going to want to know what I did about it. And Eddie's got this way of making everything feel like a test I'm failing, you know? Like he's keeping score of whether I'm handling my life right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>whatever, let him keep score. You don't have to care about what his score is. Just sit down with your partner and talk it out. If you got to break up, break up and move on. And I wish you only happiness going forward. Okay, sir. Thank you for the call.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah, yeah, okay. Thanks, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Good luck to you and your brother and your husband or whatever. Hope everything works out there. Looks like next up we've got Lori. Welcome to the show. How are you doing tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>Oh, man, I'm not great, Luke. I've been sitting in my truck at a flying J for 20 minutes trying to figure out if I'm about to blow up my whole life here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why are you thinking about blowing up your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>So my 14-year-old daughter's been playing me and her dad against each other for God knows how long. Telling him, she's at my place on weekends. Telling me she's with him. And actually, she's been out in the desert somewhere with friends doing who the hell knows what. He just called me back about it 20 minutes ago. And here's the thing. I'm hauling refrigerated goods. I'm six days into this route. I've got a load that needs to be in Tucson by tomorrow morning. But I'm four hours from home right now. And I know, I know I need to turn this rig around and deal with this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, think this one through. What happens if you do turn the rig around? What are you going to do when you get there? How are you going to deal with it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>That's the problem, Luke. I don't know. I mean, what am I going to do? Ground her. She's already been sneaking out for weeks, maybe months, show up and yell at her. That's just going to make her better at lying. Her dad and I, we can barely have a conversation without it turning into whose fault everything is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right? Well, it sounds like that makes your decision, right? If there's no action for you to take if you were to go back, then don't go back. You've got work to do. You've got to take care of your responsibilities to your job too. And then you can deal with this when you're get back. Kids do do this. Kids go out and party in the woods and play their parents off each other. It's a very normal thing for a teenage kid to do. It's not that, not that life-shattering.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>Yeah, but okay, you're right. It's normal, but Luke, she's 14. And I don't even know where she's going or who she's with. Her dad won't tell me the names of these friends because apparently she made him promised not to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it doesn't sound like it really matters what their names are, right? She's out doing her thing. I don't see a problem here. Do your job. Talk to your family when you get home. And if you don't want her out partying at 14 out in the desert, then maybe think about a different profession where you can be around to be involved in her life more than being on the road for six days at a time, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>Wow. Okay. Yeah, no. You're that's exactly what my ex said when I took this job. that I was choosing the road over her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And here's the thing that pisses me off about that. I took this job because of the divorce.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>Hey, I'm not trying to ideologically say that it's right or wrong for you to have taken the job. I don't care. I'm just saying if you're a long-haul trucker and you're gone for weeks at a time, then you're not particularly invested in your teenage daughter's life. And you're only going to show up once in a while to scold her for doing something wrong and acting out direction or guidance from our parent in her life. And that's not unusual. I'm not saying it's even wrong. I mean, you want her to be safe and you want to do this job and both those things can happen, but you need to sit down with her and talk to her about safety, make sure that she's letting you know what's going on because you care. If you do care, if not, then you just want to be controlling and punish her for doing, you know, stuff behind your back, which is, I don't think that's fair.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you're right. I, God, I do care. I care so much it's making me sick right now sitting here. And you know what the worst part is? My dispatcher, Karen, has been so good to me since the divorce. She worked out this schedule where I could do shorter halls, be home more often, and I still manage to screw it up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>I don't know if you screwed it up or not, but the fact remains, you're away from home a lot. your daughter's home, and she's out doing stuff. You know, if you're not going to be around, she's going to live her life. And that might not be in a way that you appreciate. But you're making that choice, and it could be the right choice or the wrong choice for you. But you've got to decide. You can't have it both ways.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're absolutely right. I can't. And sitting here trying to figure out if I blow this contract and turn around or keep going, I'm just avoiding the real decision. aren't I? The thing is, Luke, when I lost the house and the divorce, when everything fell apart, this job felt like the one thing I could actually control.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>Well, maybe it is. Maybe the job's a great thing for you and your family and it's providing for you, but you have to then give your daughter the grace to be her own person early because you're not there to give her that traditional upbringing that she otherwise would have got. It doesn't mean she's going to turn into a mom. her in adulthood. She's just going to have a different road. And that can be okay, but you should talk about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I need to actually talk to her, not at her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>That's right. And it sounds like you've got a job to do. So get back on the road, finish out your obligation. And when you get back, sit her down and have a conversation that's not accusatory and you're not mad at her or punishing her, but talk to her. And let her, know what's going on in your life, why you've made the decisions that you've made, and what you expect out of her, and come to a compromise, an agreement. Talk to her like she's an adult, because at this point, she kind of is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>She kind of is. God, that's terrifying. All right. All right. I'm going to finish the route. I'm going to get home Tuesday. And I'm going to sit down with her. Not with her dad there. Not making it this big intervention thing. Just me and her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LORI</span><p>it sounds like a good plan.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I hope it all works out. But, you know, I was in a similar situation as a teenager. I was your daughter in this scenario. And I was out with people I shouldn't have been with doing things I shouldn't have done. And there's lots of reasons for that. But it's not because my parents didn't love me. It's not because I was a piece of shit. It's, we're not going to get into it all right now. But over the course of the show, we'll probably learn a little bit more about that. For now, though, we have to go to our sponsor. So please stay tuned for a word from our sponsors. Life is hard. You're listening to a man in an RV talk to strangers at 2 in the morning, so you already know that. That's why we partnered with Better Maybe. Online therapy that's honest about the whole situation. With Better Maybe, you get matched with a licensed therapist within 48 hours. Will they fix your problems? Maybe. That's the whole brand. They're not going to lie to you. Your first session might change your life. It also might just be you staring at the webcam while someone in another time zone nods politely. That's still more than your friends are doing. Better maybe. It's better than nothing. And that's not nothing. Okay. Better maybe. Give them a call. Maybe they can help some of our callers. That's why I'm not. they reached out to us so they could get their product to you. Okay, Roland, Roland, welcome to the show. What's going on tonight, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROLAND</span><p>Oh, man. So I've been working from home for UPS for four years now, routing, logistics, all that. And Friday, they dropped the email, back to the Albuquerque office by March 1st, or I'm out. Three hours of driving every day, Luke, six hours round trip. And the thing is, I finally got my life set up exactly how I wanted it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like maybe you've got to let that job go then. I mean, a six-hour round-trip commute to work for UPS doesn't sound reasonable to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROLAND</span><p>Yeah, but it's 16 years total with the company, you know? The benefits, the retirement, are not starting over at 43, and the pay's solid. But, man, I finally set up my grandfather's old workbench in the garage, been restoring furniture at night, and I'm actually at it. My neighbor Gary caught me sanding at midnight Friday with every light on. asked what was eating me, and I couldn't even explain it to him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, the pay may be solid, but now subtract six hours of commuting expenses and mileage on your vehicle. Retirement doesn't just start over if you go to another company. Like, I assume you've got an IRA or a 401K type situation with them. That's going to roll over into your next position. It's not like you forfeit it. You might forfeit whatever pension it is you got, but you got, what, 45 years more to work? Come on, man. You can't just deal with that for another 40 years because you're holding onto a pension. That's silly. If you've got to let it go, you've got to let it go.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROLAND</span><p>No, you're right. You're right. I know you're right. It's just, okay. So here's the real thing. I spent the first 12 years on the road, delivering packages, breaking my back in the heat. When they finally moved me to remote work during COVID, it felt like I'd made it, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I do know. I remember back when I demanded to work remote, I would not go into an office anymore. And everybody told me that was a mistake and that you can't do that. This was pre-COVID. And I said, I can do whatever I want. You know, I'm going to do what I'm going to do. And I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. And I don't want to go into an office, so I'm not going to do it. And then I never went back into an office again. You can absolutely do that. There's plenty of ways to make money. You don't have to work for UPS. You can start your own company. You can start your own company. find another job that offers you remote work. You can, I don't know, play the stock market. There's plenty of ways that people make money without going in an office. And if you really don't want to go into an office, don't.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROLAND</span><p>You know what? You're making it sound simpler than it feels, but okay, I've been reading about these CEOs running remote first companies. No plans to bring people back. And I keep thinking, why can't UPS figure this out? I've been more productive at home, six new hires over Zoom last year, never missed a deadline. But I think what's really getting me is,</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, before you get to that, I think a lot of companies and a lot of research has proven that people are generally very productive at home, and in a lot of cases more so than an office.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Oh, man, Luke. So my best friend since third grade just told me she's been sleeping with my ex-husband since literally the week our divorce was finalized. Like, Michelle was at my wedding. She helped me move my stuff out of the house six months ago. she's been with David this whole time. And when I got upset about it tonight, because, yeah, I'm upset, she hit me with, it's been six months, you should be over it. Like I'm being dramatic for caring that she's been lying to my face for half a year while I'm crying to her about the divorce.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's messed up. I think she's not your friend, and it's time to let go of that relationship.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>I mean, yeah, you're right. I know you're right. But Luke, 30 years. 30 years. We learned to drive together. We got matching tattoos when we turned 20. One, stupid little stars on our ankles. Her mom was like my second mom growing up. And it's not even just about David, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I don't know, but the whole David thing tells me that this chick needs to go. She doesn't care about you. Whether you've known her for 30 years or 300 years, Fuck this chick.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>You're not wrong. God, you're not wrong. It's just... Okay, so here's the thing that's really messing with me. I'm sitting here in my uncle's laundromat, at 11 o'clock on a Sunday night, with a warm beer, and I'm realizing I'm more hurt about Michelle than I ever was about David. Like the divorce sucked, but I saw that coming for a while, you know? We've been going through the motions for like two years.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's a hard thing. I understand. And, you know, you've got that much history with somebody. It sucks to lose it, but it's, uh, it sounds like it's not you that has made this decision. And this person isn't somebody that's got your back that you can trust. So if you thought you had a great friend, maybe you did it once, but people change. And it sounds like she changed. And maybe some day she'll change again. But for now, let that chick go. She sucks.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She does suck. You know what the worst part is? I called her first when I found out David was seeing someone. Like two weeks ago, I saw his truck at the Applebee's with some woman, and I was all worked up about it, called Michelle literally crying in the parking lot. And she was like, oh, honey, you got to let him go. He's moved on. The whole time knowing it was her. That's that sociopath behavior, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It sure is. And it's not what you would expect about a friend of 30 years. So my advice to you is just stop talking to that chick. Let her go. Let her have the dude. And, uh, move on with your life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. It's just, God. It's pathetic, but I'm sitting here thinking about who I'm going to call now when stuff goes wrong. You know, like she was that person.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you're going to call Luke at the Roost, the, uh, call in radio show where we help you out with your real world problems.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Ha. Yeah. Well, you're doing better than she did tonight. That's for sure. I just... Okay. Real talk, though. Am I crazy for still being hurt about David?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you're not crazy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're hurt when you're hurt, and you've got good reason to be hurt here, and you've got some grief going on, and it's big life changes, and there's lots of reasons to be hurt. But you don't have to continue to stay that way. If you don't want to, you can decide to not be hurt and move on. And I think that's what you need to. to do. It's easier said than done, but it can be done. So just every day, wake up and be grateful to be here and say, hey, you know, I don't have the life that I had yesterday, but I've got the life that I have today, and it can still be pretty fucking cool.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>You know what? You're right. And honestly, and this is going to sound terrible. But I think I've been more hung up on the idea of David than actual David for a while now. Like we got married at 23, Luke. 23.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, that happens. That is young, and it explains a lot. So, um, you know, I wish you the best of luck. We're going to move on on the show now, unless you have some other point to bring up. I'll give you one more chance to respond. But otherwise, I'm going to say, uh, let go with the chick, let go to the dude, move on with your life, and everything's going to be fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>No, you're good. I appreciate you letting me vent. And hey, I heard Roland, earlier? The UPS guy?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, what about him?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>You got a job for Roland? No, but his wife definitely sucks too. That whole thing about her wanting him out of the house? Come on. That man needs to check the credit card statements.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is absolutely true. I didn't want to say that to him at the time, but he absolutely should check the credit card statements. And maybe the little internal camera that he's got in the fucking teddy bear And now, now folks, you know what? Actually, she's already gone, but Terry, that was the smartest thing you sent that whole call. All right. Now it's time for a word from our sponsors. I'm not saying that for sympathy. I'm saying it because Pillow Forever asked me to establish a before state, and that's mine. Pillow Forever is a memory foam pillow that remembers your head shapes so you don't have to. It's got cooling gel, bamboo fiber, and a 30-night risk-free trial, which means you can sleep on it for a month and then send it back, and someone in a warehouse has to deal with that. Every pillow forever comes to. in a box that's too small, which is part of the experience. You open it and it slowly expands like a major documentary. My dog tried to fight it. Pillow Forever. You deserve better than a horse blanket. Okay, thanks to Pillow Forever. They are a proud sponsor of the Luke at the Roo Show, and we appreciate them. Now let's get to, uh, let's get back to the phones. Chester, Chester, welcome to the show. What's on your mind, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Luke, hey, so I almost killed my kid this morning. Not on purpose, I mean. I didn't. I showed up to get her from her ex-wife's place, custody Sunday, and the second I rolled down the window, I could smell the whiskey coming off me. Hands still shaking. I'd been drinking until like four in the morning, and it was eight o'clock. And I'm sitting there with the engine running, thinking, well, I'm sitting there with the engine running, thinking, well, What the hell am I doing? She's seven. Her name's Daisy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh man, yeah. You can't, you can't do that, man. If you've got a drinking problem, then you're going to have to take, you're going to have to take care of that because you could kill your kid and or you could kill someone else's kid and it's really not okay. It's, it's irresponsible and it's not good for anybody.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>No, you're right. You're absolutely right. I didn't drive. I mean, I sat there for maybe 30 seconds. And then I shut the truck off and I called her mom and told her I was sick, food poisoning or something, which is bullshit. She probably knew.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How long have you known you've had a problem with the drinking?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>I mean, that's the thing, Luke. I don't drink every day. I work at Desert Star Pond, been there six years. I show up on time. I do my job. It's just when I get home and Daisy's not there. When it's those empty nights, I'll start with one beer. And then it's three I'm watching Civil War documentaries with a bottle of Jim Beam. And I can tell you the exact date of Antietam, but I can't tell you when it got like this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, are you, uh, are you tired of it yet? Or it sounds like maybe this is a moment of clarity where you're recognizing the situation and, and thinking about taking accountability for it. Is that true?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think. I mean, my dad, Big Jim, he ran cattle for years. Never missed a day. Never touched the stuff.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, they have support group meetings. It can help you out in these situations. You can go to after work. Lots of cool people there that are trying to live sober, not pick up the drink and end up in situations like you're finding yourself in now. It is possible. You don't have to get drunk by yourself at night watching Civil War documentaries. You can just watch the Civil War documentary without they're getting drunk bit. then when you get up in the morning and pick up your kid, you're not going to be drunk.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>I know. You're right. It's just, the house is so damn quiet, you know? And I keep thinking about what kind of example I'm setting.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's good that you figure it out now when you're at a spot where you can still do something about it. And what I recommend is when you get home, next time you get home, do something else. Instead of cracking that beer, just do anything else. You can play a video game or you could, uh, go for a walk or you could read or play on the internet, whatever it is, just break that habit of having that first beer. Because if you don't pick up the first one, you're not going to end up drunk. Isn't it funny how that works? If you don't pick up the first one, you're not going to end up drunk.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I heard Lori earlier, the trucker lady with the daughter sneaking out, and I kept thinking at least she's got a reason she's not around, you know?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, what do you mean by that?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>I mean, she's working. She's on the road providing for her kid. Me, I'm just, I'm home and Daisy's at her moms. And I'm choosing to sit there with a bottle instead of, I don't know, calling her reading her a bedtime story over the phone. Something.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah. And, uh, you know, sometimes you just have to say that to a radio host at midnight to, uh, to hear yourself say it. So hopefully you can snap out of your, uh, your, your situation. Don't pick up the beer next time. And instead, call your daughter and read her a story.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>You're right. I actually. I got this book about Gettysburg I was going to show her. She's been asking about it because we drove through Pennsylvania last summer. And she saw the signs. Smart kid. Smarter than me, that's for sure.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you sound pretty smart today. You know you get a problem and you're going to do stuff to take care of it. So if you need help, then I recommend that you find your your local neighborhood at AA or NA meetings, depending on what type of situation you're dealing with. And just go check it out. And have an open mind and maybe you find a new way of life. Okay, Dolores. Delores, welcome to the radio show. How can we help?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DELORES</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. So, okay. I got recognized today at an open house and I kind of panicked. And now sitting in a circle K parking lot feeling like a complete idiot.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, all of us get recognized several times a day. So why is it, what is it about this particular recognition that's got you up in arms?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DELORES</span><p>Because I've been going to open houses every weekend for like eight months and I'm not actually buying anything. This realtor, Patricia, she remembered me from a showing last spring, and she just asked me you actually planning to buy a house and I froze. I told her my financing fell through, but that's not even true because I've never applied for a loan in the first place.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Next up on the radio show, we have Marvin. Marvin, thanks for calling in. What's happening tonight?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, thanks for taking the call. So I got home for my shift tonight and there's this cardboard box sitting on my porch. No note, nothing. And it's full of stuff from my dad's house. Stuff I haven't seen since he died 11 years ago. His Bolo tie. This pocket knife I thought I lost senior year. Photos of my uncle's old place.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's a Bolo tie?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>Oh, it's that Western Thai thing. You know, the braided leather cord with the silver clasp that slides up and down. My dad wore one to every wedding, every funeral, every time he needed to look respectable. His had this. This turquoise stone in the middle, real heavy.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, that's cool. Somebody dropped off some of your dead dad's belongings, and what are they bringing up inside? They bring it up memories? Is this got you upset? Are you concerned? Like, what's, what feeling is this bringing up inside of you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>I mean, yeah, memories. But more than that, I'm sitting here like, who the hell had this stuff? my dad's been gone 11 years. Where has this box been? And why now? Why tonight? What's in the box? Why no explanation? Like, someone just decided, oh, time for Marvin to deal with this and left it there like a package from Amazon. And honestly, I opened it and just...</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, congratulations for, uh, the... safe return of your dad's belongings. I hope that you wear them in good health. Next on the radio show, oh, before, no, oh, Luke, you almost, come on, come on, I'm fucking amateur here. It is time for a word from our sponsors. Look, I'm not a financial advisor. I'm a guy with a microphone and a dog. But the folks at Crypto know asked me to tell you about their new decentralized investment platform, and I to read this part. Past performance does not guarantee future results. This is not financial advice. And if you invest your rent money, you deserve exactly what happens next. Crypto No lets you trade over 400 digital currencies, including three that were invented this morning, and one that's just a picture of my dog. The app features a real-time portfolio tracker with a built-in panic button that just plays ocean sounds when your balance drops. Crypto No! Fortune favors the bold, but it does not return their calls. Okay, thanks to Crypto No for sponsoring the show today. I think we're probably running a little bit late. These have been some decent calls. They're going a little long. So I'm just going to take one more for tonight's show. And next up to the line, we have Francine. Francine, you're going to be our last caller of the night.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's on your mind?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Luke, I just had a deer on the 11, and it's still alive, and I don't know what the hell I'm playing. supposed to do about it. I've been sitting here with my hazards on for like 20 minutes. Just, it's looking at me. When if its legs is completely shattered, it's on the shoulder. And I can't tell if I'm supposed to call someone, or if I'm supposed to, I don't know, put it out of its misery myself? Which I don't even know how I do that. I'm a nurse. I work on people, not my ex would have known. He grew up out here, hunted with his dad. He would have just handled it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that sounds like a. less than ideal situation. I would call the police first, call 911, and let them know that there's been an accident and there's an animal, I assume, still in the road. If you have a gun, then I think you know what you have to do. If you don't have a gun, I would probably refrain from doing anything hasty with like a tire iron or a rock.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>No, I don't have a gun. It's off the road. It's on the shoulder. So nobody's going to hit it. I just, I'll call. I didn't know if this was even a 911 thing or if there was like animal control or something, but out here at midnight on a Sunday, I guess there's not exactly a whole directory of options. The stupid thing is, I've been driving the same loop between Deming and Los Cruces for six months now. Three different clinics, and this is the first time I've hit anything.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know what I always say? 911 was an inside job. So I don't actually know who you're supposed to call in this situation. I would call 911 and ask the them and they'll let you know or send out animal control or whoever comes out of the sheriff's office. Who knows out here especially? But, you know, it happens. There's wild animals out here. They run in the road. Sometimes we hit them. It's probably not your fault unless you were playing with your phone, and in which case it was your fault. And just do the best you can do. It's unfortunate that the animal's suffering right now, but if you don't have a way to humanely end it, then you got to just get somebody out there as soon. as you can.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I wasn't on my phone. I was just tired. Just came off a double. Wasn't paying attention like I should have been. You're right, though. I'll call.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, get off the line with me and get on the line with 911. And that is the conclusion of our show for tonight. Thanks everybody for tuning in, and we'll talk to you again tomorrow. Thank you.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 14: Lies, Grief, and the Pursuit of Orange</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-17T08:22:41+00:00">February 17, 2026</time> · 52 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">This episode of Luke at the Roost is packed with callers dealing with all sorts of issues - from Hector's Spanish language struggle to Marlene's ex-wife's new furniture order, and Gina's grief over her grandfather's forgotten musical legacy. The host provides insightful and often humorous advice as the callers navigate these challenges. Will they find the solutions they're seeking?</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back to the show. My name is Luke. I'm your host for Luke at the Roost. This is the radio show where we take callers and give them the best advice that we can. If you'd like to call into the show, the number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439 Luke. Also, new just yesterday. If you can't get to a phone and you'd like to participate in the show, you can send us an email. The address is submissions at Lukeat the roost.com. Submissions at Luke at theroost.com. So you can send us a question or a story or anything you want. And if it's funny enough, I might read it on the air in the next show. And if it's not me, maybe I'll have one of my robot friends read it for me because I'm lazy. All right. So today is Monday, February 16th. It's about 11.30 p.m. And our phones are lighting up like they always do at this time of night. the show, we have Hector. Hector, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. How are you doing out there tonight?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>Hey, Luke. Doing all right, man. Doing all right. Appreciate you taking the call. So listen. I got myself into a situation here, and I don't know whether to laugh or start updating my resume.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, Hector. What did you do?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>So I've been flying crop dusters out of Yuma for eight years now, right? Good job. Decent money? I know what I'm doing up there. This afternoon, my boss pulls me aside. All smiles tells me I landed this huge contract in Mexico City. Three weeks coordinated with agricultural officials. Big deal for the company.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Is that something you don't want to do? Why you bummed out about that? That sounds great.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>No, no, that's the thing. It should be great, right? This is a promotion, basically. More money, more responsibility. Looks amazing on paper. Here's the problem, Luke. hired me eight years ago partly because my last name is Gonzales and my resume says fluent Spanish I speak about as much Spanish as you probably do maybe less</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm gonna let you in on a little secret I think they knew they probably had strong suspicions at the time they hired you that you did not speak Spanish but that's okay because nowadays you don't have to you can get the Apple AirPods and they'll do the live translation for you right in your ear</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>Oh man, I didn't even think about that. Does that actually work, though? Like in a real professional setting? Because I'm picturing myself in some meeting with Mexican agriculture officials, trying to negotiate pesticide schedules, while I'm sitting there with AirPods and like I'm listening to a podcast.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know, I went into Mexico last year at some point. I went to Agua Brietta. And when I got there, I was trying to buy cigarettes from the duty-free shop on the United States side of the border. So they don't just give you the cigarettes. You buy the cigarettes in the United States, and then you have to cross the border, and some guy is supposed to bring you the cigarettes, and then you have to import them back into the United States. So I went out there, and I was in Mexico, and I couldn't find the guy with the cigarettes. So I'm asking all around, and there's a bunch of, like, their version of Border Patrol at the border, and they didn't speak any English or pretended not to speak any English, and they pulled out their phone, and they just did the whole back-and-forth transcription, like it was nothing. Like, they do that all the time. So I think it's pretty common. I wouldn't worry too much about it. But you can always start studying. I mean, it's not like you can't learn Spanish.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>Yeah, I mean, three weeks, though. I've been downloading Duolingo on and off for like two years, and I still can't get past the boy eats an apple. And here's the other thing that's dealing at me. I've been cashing paychecks for eight years with that my resume like they never needed me to speak Spanish before so it never mattered but now it does and I feel like a fraud</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>well you are a fraud you lied on your resume and you got away with it for eight years so congratulations for that but it sounds like it's probably pretty difficult to find somebody qualified to fly crop dusting plane that they trust in another country and they trust you so you just got to do the best you can and try to work through the Spanish you know Three weeks, that's quick, but you can do it. I mean, dual lingo is probably not the right way, but there's lots of other ways to learn language, and if you really need to, if you really have to, you could get at least a little bit of what you need. It shouldn't take you long to ramp up.</p></div>
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||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>You're right, you're right. I mean, I've been hearing Spanish on the radio stations down here for years. I should at least have some baseline. And honestly, the flying part I can do in my sleep, what's got me twisted up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Just throw yourself on a Selena record, get some bitty bitty bum bomb going, and you're gonna be fine. Amherst yourself in Spanish, and you will pick it up faster than you think, because you have to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>Okay, Selina, I can actually handle. My mom used to play that stuff all the time when I was a kid.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You can't handle Selena. Wait, does that make it worse, that I didn't pick up Spanish?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>She's probably going to lose it when I tell her about this. She's been asking me for years why I don't speak it and I always just shrugged it off.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, your name is Hector Gonzales, so I mean I would expect at this point in your life you probably would have picked up a little bit here and there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>That's what kills me, Luke. Everyone just assumes. I walk into a place, they see the name tag, and half the time someone starts talking to me in Spanish, and I just stand there like a deer in headlights. I've gotten really good at the apologetic smile and the sorry I don't speak it. But my dad's of the family, they all came over generations ago. By the time it got to me, it was just gone.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, well, congratulations on the new job. Do the best you can. And if they have to send you back to the States to do your old job again, then so be it. And if they fire you for lying on your resume, then get another job. There's probably plenty of places you can commercially fly a plane.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HECTOR</span><p>Yeah, you know what? You're right. Worst case scenario, I'm back flying over lettuce fields and Yuma, which honestly isn't the worst thing in the world. I do love that job.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, good luck to you and congratulations again. Thanks for calling in, Hector, and give us a call back if anything goes wrong or you meet a crazy cartel out there and you've got a story about redemption. Next up on the line we have Marlene. Marlene, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life tonight? How can we help?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. So, My ex-wife's new husband just ordered $12,000 worth of furniture for me, and I don't know if he knows it's me or not, and I'm losing my mind a little bit. Sorry, that came out fast. But yeah, that's what's happening right now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, all the places in the world you could buy furniture from, if he's buying it from you, then there's a good chance he has an idea of who you are. Right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>That's what I keep thinking. the company's called Desert Reclaim and my name's all over the website. But then I'm like, maybe he just Googled Rustic Dining Tables, New Mexico. And I came up and he has no clue. He's this tech guy from Scottsdale, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I mean, you got to think about how internet search works and cookies and stuff like that. So there's probably a chance that she was looking at your Facebook profile and somewhere you're linked to your business profile on LinkedIn or something like that. And then that's a chance that's transferring to his phone, so when he does a Google search, it's looking at all that data it's collected on you, and saying he's most likely to buy his chairs from this woman.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Oh, God, I didn't even think about that. So, like, Rachel's been looking at my stuff and it's bleeding over into his search results. That's, actually, that makes me feel weird in a whole different way.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Like, has she been checking up on me? Well, I don't know. I'm just saying that's one possibility. That is how search works nowadays. So there's a likelihood that that could have happened. And not necessarily like Googling you in the middle of the night, but there could be documents on our computer that are getting fed into the cloud for some PDF transcription service. Like, you don't know. All that you know is the data is out there and you're linked to him now in a not a cryptographic way, but in a digital way. And that link is obviously working.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Yeah. No, you're right. I mean, we were married for six years. probably all kinds of digital trails still connecting us. But, okay, so whether he knows or not, do I take the money?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes! Luke, this is six months of my mortgage. This order would let me actually breathe for the first time since I started this business.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>But then I think about Rachel walking into one of those hotel lobbies and seeing my tables, the ones I built with wood from that barn outside animas, and I just...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Not your problem. Take the money. Congratulations. That's a good hit. That's what we call us in the business. So close that deal, take your cash, and enjoy the win. And thank modern technology.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>You really think so? Just take it and don't say anything? Because part of me wants to email him and be like, Hey, just so you know, I used to be married to your wife. Is that insane? That's insane, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You are correct. That is insane. Yeah, don't do that. Take the money and don't say a word. And who cares if she looks at York when she goes to wherever it is, she goes where they put your furniture.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Okay. Yeah. You're right. I mean, she left me. She married him. I'm building furniture in my garage at two in the morning. This is literally the one good thing that's happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Nah, she got to be with somebody she wants to be with. You get to make maybe potentially the best work of your life. And you just got a nice paycheck. So it sounds like there's lots of good things happening. And all around, everything works out the way it's supposed to. And enjoy this small win.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Small win? Luke, this is 12 tables. This is the biggest order I've ever had. But, okay. Yeah, I hear you. Take the money, build the tables, stop overthinking it. It's just, man, it's been a year of sleeping in my truck, watching the stars, trying to figure out what I'm doing. And now this lands in my lap and it's connected to her. And I just...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're just freaking out. And you don't have to freak out. Do the job, get the money and move on and enjoy it. Congratulations.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>You know what? You're right. I'm going to do it. I'm going to build the best damn tables they've ever seen, take their money, and maybe finally fix the heater in my truck, so I don't have to freeze my ass off out there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Excellent. That sounds like a great plan. And another happy rooster. It's time to hear from our sponsors. So in just a moment, we'll return.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm going to be straight with you. I don't know what this product does. The folks at Bunkhouse DNS sent me a script and I've read it four times and I understand maybe 11% of it. Apparently your DNS is exposed, which sounds medical. Your queries are being logged by default, which sounds illegal. And Bunkhouse reroutes your lookups through encrypted tunnels, which sounds like something a villain would say in a movie before the building explodes. What I can't really tell you is this. I installed it. I pressed one button and a little shield icon turned green. Green means good. I know that much. My internet still works. Nothing exploded. And apparently my queries, whatever those are, are now private, which feels like progress, even though I don't fully understand progress from what? Bunkhouse DNS. I don't know what it does, but the shield is green, and that's enough for me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Welcome back to the show. Just a quick plug. Don't forget, we have presents out there on all the social media. So you can find us on the Facebook and the Instagram and the YouTube's and the Apples and the Spotify's all around. If you want to look at all the places you can find us, look at Lukeattheroast.com. And with that out of the way, let's get back to the show. Rick, Rick, thanks for calling in. What's going on, buddy?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Oh man, Luke. So yesterday morning, my daughter Claire, she's 12. She fell through the on our stock tank trying to break it up for the horses, right? Full face pallant into freezing water, and I'm watching this happen, and I'm about to lose my mind. But she comes up and she's gasping, but she's not panicking, like it all. And later she tells me, it felt like her body just...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Her body just what?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Took over. That's exactly what she said. My body took over. Like she wasn't even in control. Her heart slowed down, blood went to her core, and she just knew what to do. So I'm sitting there after she goes to bed and I'm looking this up. And Luke, it's called the mammalian diving reflex.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's pretty helpful, I suppose. Uh, I, for if we like jump into the ocean when it's cold, like, uh, why is it there?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Right, exactly. It's this ancient thing we all have, like seals and whales. Your face hits cold water and boom, your body just flips this switch without asking permission. Heart rate drops, blood vessels constrict, everything shut down except what keeps you alive.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that sounds like a very handy thing to have, especially if you're going to fall into a trough of water when it's frozen.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Yeah, no. I mean, she's fine. She's totally fine. But Luke, here's the thing that's messing with me. I've known this kid her whole life, right? Change to diapers, taught her to ride, the whole deal.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. And what's the problem? It sounds like she's perfectly fine, and you learned a new thing about biology and evolution.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>The problem is, I watch her face in that water. And it was like, I don't know her at all. Like there's this whole other operating system running underneath that I have zero access to. She's got the same emergency programming as a seal, Luke, a seal.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I've been kissed by rose on the grave. Yeah, I guess that would be startling. But wait a few more years until you see her get hammered. And then, uh, see what you see in her face.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Oh, God. Don't even. No, but see, that's different. That's like choices and stupid decisions. This wasn't a choice. This was her body making calls without her even knowing. Like she's running software I didn't install and can't see the code for.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and it sounds like it's doing a better job than yours too, because she acted superfluously and got herself out of that cold water before it was an issue. So what's the problem here? Her natural biology was taken over and doing the right thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>The problem? Okay. You're right. She handled it better than I would have. But Luke, she's 12. And I'm standing there on a Monday morning watching Evolution work through my kid like she's just...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you watched Evolution the whole, every day of watching that kid grow up, and all of you growing up and all your parents. So I'm not sure why this is flipping your wig.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Because this wasn't her getting taller or losing teeth or whatever. This was watching her go under and come back up with this look on her face like, Like some part of her I've never met, just took the wheel. She told me later, my body took over dad, and I can't stop thinking about what else is in there that I don't know about.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I've been kissed by Rose on the grave. Do you think seal is in there?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>What? No, I.! Luke, come on. I'm not saying she's literally a seal. I'm saying she's got all this programming I didn't know about. Like, what else kicks in that I'm not ready for? What other switch is flea when I'm not looking.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know, man. It sounds like you're going to have to read the origin of species and do some research on the old Charlie D.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Okay, you're busting my balls here, but I did look it up after she went to bed. The mammalian diving reflex. It's real.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Heart rate drops. Blood goes to the vital organs, the whole thing. And she described it exactly like that without knowing what it was called. That's what's freaking me out. She's walking around with all these systems I can't see. And one day she's going to be out there making decisions. and I won't even know what's running in the background.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Yeah, that's true. That's how humans behave. Welcome to the world, sir. You don't know how anybody is programmed entirely, and just the little bits that you've been around for. So it's not to be shocking, but it sounds like you need to expand your mind a little bit. Your kid is going to be their own person with their own instincts and values and beliefs and skills. And most of them. them, not all, most of them will have absolutely nothing to do with you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, yeah, I know that. I do, but this felt different. Watching her face change in that water, watching something ancient, just click on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Well, it sounds like everything worked out, and she's great, and you learned something, and that's a win to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So thanks for Colin. Give us a call back some other time. Gina, Gina, thanks for Colin. How are you today?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>Hey, Luke. I'm all right. So my brother and sister want to sell my grandmother's house, and I've been breaking into it every Sunday for the last three months.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Is your grandmother still in the house?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>No. She died in November. I have a key, though, so I guess it's not really breaking in. But they don't know I'm going there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, why are you breaking into your dead grandma's house?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>I don't know, man. I just, I drive down to Hachita every Sunday, let myself in, and I sit in her chair by the window for exactly two hours. Sometimes I'm on my phone. Sometimes I just watch the mountains. It's this floral armchair she'd always sit in.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's a nice thing, but if they're going to sell the house, you're not going to be able to go there anymore. So that's a bummer. What are you going to do after the house is gone?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>That's the thing. I don't want them to sell it. My brother left me three voicemails saying we need to list it by March. And my sister sent me the Zillow estimate and I had to pull over on the highway because I couldn't breathe. Like, I know how this sounds.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you have the money to buy the house?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>No. I work at a mortuary. I'm 21. I don't have that kind of money. But I can't explain this to them without sounding crazy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're 21. You also don't have the bills yet that they have, and the responsibilities financially that they have to account for. You don't have to pay the taxes on that property and the upkeep and the maintenance. You're just going there and hanging out, which is great. I mean, if you've got a free place to go hang out, wonderful. But the rest of your family, doesn't feel that way about it. It's a burden to them, and it's expensive, and they might not be able to afford it either. So if they want to sell the house, then you should let them.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>I know all that. I get it. But she's still in there, Luke. And I know the difference between a body and a person. I work with dead people every day.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, so if she's still in there, does it matter who owns her?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>What do you mean does it matter who owns her? Some family from Phoenix is going to buy it and go. that the whole thing and turn it into an Airbnb or whatever.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and that sounds like an ideal situation for your dead grandma, because she's going to be hanging out in the Airbnb, it's going to be all nice and fixed up, and people are going to be partying in there, she's going to be having a grand old time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>That's not funny.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What do you mean it's not funny? Of course it is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>No, because, okay, you don't get it. Every Sunday I sit in her chair by the window and I can feel her there. feel her. The way the light hits the mountains at a certain time, that's what she looked at every day for 40 years. Her handwriting is still on the grocery list on the fridge. There's a water stain on the ceiling from when the swap cooler leaked in 2019. And she never fixed it because she said it looked like a bird.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it sounds like she was a person and she is not anymore. And her house is no longer belongs to her and you're in it hanging out. And the family needs to sell that house, whether you want to be there or not. Like, you can't just force them to keep this house. You can't do it. It's not going to work. So you're going to have to come to terms with reality.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>I know I can't force them. That's why I'm calling you instead of just, I don't know what I thought you were going to say.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what I'm going to say is it makes sense that you're grieving for your grandmother. And her presence is obviously. going to be in the place where she lived her whole life. That makes perfect sense. That happens to everybody. I'm going to tell you that you can take those memories of your grandma somewhere else, and you're going to have to. So it's okay to grieve. It's okay to miss her, but she's not in the walls. She's not in the stain on the ceiling. She will follow you for your life in your mind, in your memories, and keep those good, you know? And if you really, if you really, if you really feel that strongly about it? Do what you have to do to raise the money to buy the house. Like it's an after-TV special, and there's some creepy old corporation that's trying to buy it and turn it into an oil drill.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>I make $22 an hour at the mortuary, Luke. My brother's a project manager in Tucson, and my sister works for the state. They've already run the numbers. If we sell now, we each get like $40,000. That's real money for them. That's their kids' college funds or whatever. And I can't explain to them why it matters without sounding insane.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It doesn't sound insane. It sounds selfish. Because it's not yours to hold on to. So if you make $22 an hour at the mortuary, that's not a lot of money, but you could go make more money. You could have a second job, a third job. You could make deals with people, talk to the bank. $40,000 is not that much money, and you could raise it if you really wanted to. You can do a GoFundMe. I mean, you can crowdsource a lot of money. You can borrow a lot of money. You could make it happen, but, I mean, it goes back to you. And this would be something that you have to do. It's not something that you're forcing those other people that are in real world responsible situations. You can't be upset with them for doing what they need to do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>You're right. God, you're right, and I hate it. I've been sitting there every Sunday like I'm keeping her alive or something. Like if I'm keeping her alive or something. I just stay in that chair long enough. It won't matter that she's gone. But I work with dead people every day, Luke. I know better. I'd prep buddies.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if you know better, then snap out of it, because she is gone, and she's not in the house, and it's not your house.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You're right. I just, I have to figure out what to say to my brother, because he's been really patient, and I've been dodging his calls for two weeks. I can't keep doing that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, figure out what you're going to say to your brother, and make peace with what you've got to make with or go get yourself the money.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>I'm not getting the money. I know that. I think I knew that when I called.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, you're not getting the money. Well, good luck to you, you little bitch. Jesus. I don't know. What generation is that? She said she was 21. Is that Gen. A, Gen. Gen. I don't know what gender. She sucked. Okay. Let's see. Skeeter. Welcome to the show. What did you think of that last caller?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SKEETER</span><p>I thought she was super annoying. Oh man, I missed it actually. I've been sitting out here in the parking lot with the heat running, just got the station dialed in. But listen, I got a question that's been eating at me all day.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know that thing about how orange used to be called yellow red? Like before the word orange existed, people just called it yellow red? I did not know that, and that sounds odd. It sounds untrue.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>See, that's what this kid in my sense. seventh period said, called it bullshit internet fake history, right to my face, which, you know, fair enough, I let them talk like that in my class, as long as they're making a point.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And did you have anything to back this up with?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>That's the thing. I don't know, man. I saw it somewhere online, but it was interesting, been telling people for like two years. And now I'm sitting out here at midnight, second-guessing, whether I actually know anything real, or if my whole brain is just filled with internet garbage, Like, what else have I been confidently wrong about? You know what I mean?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, have you taken any steps to verify the information? Like maybe Google it, look it up?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>Yeah. I did that after class, and it just made it worse. Half the sites say it's true, half say it's not, and I can't tell which ones are legit. There's something about the word coming from the fruit, or maybe Sanskrit. Or maybe it was Geo-Lou Reed in Old English, which I guess means yellow-red? I don't know. I teach history. and I can't even figure out the history of a color. And honestly, Luke, that's not even really why I'm calling.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, Gio, Lou Reed, sounds like something I want to get behind. All right, why are you calling?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>I've been sleeping in my truck in the school parking lot for three nights because my girlfriend changed the locks on me. Found some texts I sent to someone I shouldn't have been texting. And I'm sitting out here with the engine running so I don't freeze, watching the frost build up on the windshield. And I'm the exact same age. my dad was when he left.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, it sounds like you're getting what you deserve. So who are you texting? What was that about?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>Her name's Amanda. She's a substitute teacher, comes through maybe once a month, and it wasn't even, look, nothing actually happened. It was just flirty stuff, stupid stuff, but enough that when my girlfriend saw it, she knew exactly what I was thinking about doing, even if I hadn't done it yet. And the worst part?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's the worst part? You know women don't like. it when you text other women.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>The worst part is, I don't even feel that bad about it. Like, I know I'm supposed to be devastated, right? Begging to come back inside, flowers and apologies and all that. But mostly, I just feel nothing. I've been with Sarah for four years, and when she changed those locks, part of me was relieved.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well then, congratulations. It sounds like your decision's been made for you. You're all set. You're free, sir. You're a free bird. You're a free agent. You can text whoever you want.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>Yeah, except I'm 37 years old sleeping in a Tacoma in a high school parking lot. Real winter energy, Luke. And here's the thing that's messing with me. My dad did this exact same thing. Same age? Found someone else. Just walked away from everything. I spent my whole life thinking he was a piece of shit for that, and now I'm out here doing the same math he probably did.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're not really just walking away from everything. She changed the locks on you. She told you to leave and apparently not come back.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>No, you're right, but I handed her the reason to do it. I mean, come on, Luke. I left those texts where she could find them. My phone was sitting right there on the counter while I was in the shower. I'm not stupid. Part of me wanted her to see them. Part of me wanted her to be the one to pull the trigger so I wouldn't have to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well then, you're a pussy, and it sounds like you've got exactly what you wanted. So congratulations. I'm not sure why you're calling me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>Because today, I told my seventh period class, that thing about how orange used to be called yellow-red. And this smart-ass kid, always correcting me, said that's fake internet bullshit. And I'm sitting out here now wondering if he's right. Wondering if I actually know anything real, or if I'm just repeating stuff I saw online at three in the morning. And that feels like, I don't know, man. It feels like everything right now. Like maybe I don't actually know what I want or what I'm doing or who I even am.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, welcome to the goddamn human race, sir, because nobody really does. It's the big secret that we're all hiding and pretending, you know, telling the kids that isn't the case. Nobody fucking knows, man. Just do your best. If you don't want to be with that woman, don't be with the woman. And it sounds like you're not anymore, so good on you. Now you're going to have to find yourself a new place of residence. So I would be worried about that more so than the color orange.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>You're right. You're absolutely right. I just... Okay, so earlier you had that guy Hector on, the crop duster who lied about speaking Spanish, and you told him, Worst case, he just goes back to doing what he was doing before, which he loves anyway.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I was talking about a job, not a woman.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>I know, but that's what I'm saying. I can't go back. There's no version where I go back to what I was doing before, because I don't even remember what that was. Sarah and I got together when I was 33. Before that, I was just, I don't know, Luke. I was just floating around. And now I'm floating around again, except I'm four years older and sleeping in my truck, and I can't even confidently tell a 17-year-old kid whether Orange is a real cool. color or not.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you're a goddamn mess, and you need to fucking pick yourself up and get it together because, uh, this is pathetic.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GIO</span><p>Yeah, yeah, you're right. It is pathetic.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so grow up, figure out what you want to do and stop, uh, uh, holding people hostage. Now it's time for another word from our sponsors. I'm going to get dark for a second. You're going to die someday. Not today, probably, but someday. And when you do, what's going to represent your business? A Craigslist post from 2020? A Google Maps pin that still says permanently closed because you forgot to update it after COVID. A nephew who knows computers but actually just has a Reddit account? Your legacy deserves better than a nephew with a Reddit account. Squarehole lets you build something that outlasts you, something your kids can point to and say, Dad built Dad. They won't know it took you 11 minutes. That's between you and Squarehole. And when your nephew says, I could have built that for you for free, you can look them in the eye and say, then why didn't you, Tyler? I asked you in 2021 and you said you were busy and you were not busy. Squarehole. Build it before Tyler has to, because Tyler is not going to. Tyler's not going to do it, so you should talk to our sponsor there. Get yourself a website. A website like our website, Luke at the roost.com. which is not hosted on Squarehole. It's hosted a completely different way. And if you'd like to know how it's hosted, you can take a look at Luke at theroost.com slash how it works. Or we explain how this whole show works to those of you that might be interested. Okay, next up on the line, we've got a returning caller. I remember you. This is Brenda. Brenda. Brenda, you're the ambulance driver, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Yeah, that's me. Hey, Luke. So I did it. I actually went on a date.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, all right. Good job. Good for you. How'd that go?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Oh, man. It was. Okay. So I met this guy at the grocery store two weeks ago. Right? We were both reaching for the same bag of those frozen tequitos, and he made some joke about it. We got to talking. He seemed normal. Nice smile. Worked in H-FAC. Had his shit together. So we go out Saturday night. He picks this Italian place over on Glendale. And Luke, I swear to God, halfway through dinner, he started. telling me about his for-rating women he's dated. Like a whole spreadsheet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I'm familiar. It's the universal, uh, hot, crazy matrix. We're all familiar with that spreadsheet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What, what was it about it that got under your nerves?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>No, but seriously, it wasn't just that he, it. He pulled it up on his phone at the table and started walking me through it, like showing me the columns, physical attraction, emotional stability, long-term potential, and then he's like, don't worry, I don't fill it out until after the third date. And he said it like that was supposed to be. Like I'm supposed to be grateful I get two more dinners before I become a data point. And the thing is, I sat there thinking, is this what dating is now?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, you know, a lot of women would find that very attractive. I bet he's real good at doing taxes. There's probably a lot of good qualities this gentleman has. He seems very organized and he knows what he wants, and that shows extreme confidence. So I wouldn't be too butt-hurt about it. That's a funny thing. And, I mean, you could go on another date with him or not, but... How are you going to blame the guy?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>You know what, you're right, and that's what's messing with me. Because Denise said the same thing at work yesterday. She was like, at least he's honest. At least he knows what he wants. And I'm sitting there going, so why do I feel like I got interviewed for a job I didn't apply for? Like the whole night I'm wondering what score I'm getting. And here's the thing. I don't even know if I liked him, Luke. I have no idea. I was so busy being aware of being evaluated that I didn't evaluate anything myself.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's exactly, that is precisely what a date is. It's an evaluation between two people. And whether or not they're saying that there's an evaluation happening, there is. I would be grateful to him for showing you the criteria instead of making it up in his head and thinking you were crazy and scoring you on things you didn't even know he was looking at. So everybody's doing that consciously or subconsciously, and he's just doing it in a very organized and respectable way.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Okay. No, but seriously, you're actually making me feel worse because you're right. I know. Like, I'm doing the same thing. I went home and told Monica every single detail about him, and we basically did the exact same evaluation. We just didn't write it down. We sat there for an hour going, okay, but did you notice how he treated the waiter? What kind of car does he drive? Does he talk about his ex too much? It's the same spreadsheet. I just pretended mine was more organic or something. And now I'm spiraling because he texted me yesterday asking about a second date. And I haven't answered because I'm sitting here judging him for doing out loud what I'm doing in my head. You know what I mean.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep. That's a Sounds like the type of nonsensical nonsense that comes in the dating world. Congratulations. Are you going to go on the date with him or not?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>I don't know. That's why I called. Because here's the other part. When he texted, he said, I had a really good time. I think you're someone I'd like to get to know better. And it was sweet. It was normal. And I'm sitting there staring at my phone thinking, but what did I score? Like now, I want to know what he wrote down about me. Did I get high marks? Where did I lose points?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>We'll ask him. Make a game out of it. See which areas he feels you need improvement and see if that's something you're willing to work on, if you agree with him or not, and have a discussion. I think that could be fun.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Oh, God, you're serious. You want me to actually ask him to show me my scores. No, but seriously, though, that's kind of...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Of course. He wouldn't have showed you the spreadsheet if he wasn't willing to show you the scores.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Okay, you know what? That's a good point. He literally showed it to me at dinner. He's not hiding it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He's not hiding it. And you're doing the same thing. So maybe write down, write down yours. Put it on paper and show you can compare. You can trade and see where you match.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Oh man. This is either the weirdest advice or the best advice. Monica's going to lose her mind when I tell her this. But actually, no, but seriously. If I'm being honest, the stuff I care about is probably stupid too. Like I literally docked him points in my head because his shoes were too shiny.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you sound like a real catch. Good for you, Brenda. Go out on another date with a guy if you liked him. If you didn't like him, don't go on a date with him. But don't judge him too badly for judging you at an event that is entirely derived to judge each other.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>You're right. God, you're totally right. Okay, I'm going to text him back yes. And maybe I'll ask him about the spreadsheet on date too. See if he's got a sense of humor about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>There you go. That's the right answer. That's what you should do. I hope you have a good time. And I'm interested to hear what you get on the spreadsheet. So next up on the line, we've got Clyde. Clyde, welcome to the show. What's going on tonight? How are you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLYDE</span><p>Hey, Luke? Yeah, I'm standing in my garage right now. Because my 23-year-old son just moved back in about six hours ago. And I don't know how to tell him no. third time. Third time he's shown up with his car packed full of everything he owns, saying he needs to figure things out. And he's already asleep in his old bedroom and my ex? Well, we're not really exes. It's complicated. She already texted me saying she's not doing this again. And I'm out here with my half-finished cabinets at midnight trying to figure out how you're supposed to kick your own kid out when he's already unpacked.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, we already talked about this. You've got to tell your kid, uh, no, you can't do this anymore. Stop calling the radio show, grow a pair, and talk to your goddamn child. Rita, welcome to the show. How are you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Hey, Luke. I'm, yeah, I'm okay. Long night at work, couldn't sleep. I just, I took a call tonight. Welfare check on an old man out in Somerton, and his grandson found him dead. Been there three days.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's no good. Hey, what happens after the body is found. Is there, are there death people that are called to come and clean up the situation? Who's responsible to go in there and take care of the body? And not just the body, but the house?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Yeah, so we dispatch fire and medical first. They confirm he's gone. Then the coroner comes out. After that, if there's no foul play, family's responsible for cleanup. But here's the thing. This kid, the grandson, he's looking around while we're waiting, and he finds this album. Turns out his grandfather was this Corito singer back in the 70s.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Good for him?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>No, but that's the thing. The kid had. His own grandfather. Played all over the valley, VFW halls, weddings, recorded an album. And now he's just...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, if the coroner hasn't been there yet, then how do you know he's been dead for three days?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Oh, the paramedics confirmed that when they got there, they can tell by... I mean, I won't get into the details. But yeah, it was three days. But Luke, what I'm trying to say is, this guy had this whole life making music. And it just disappeared. Like it never happened. And I keep thinking about how many people out here are like that. Musicians, artists, whatever. They pour everything into it and then they're just gone. Nobody remembers.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's true. And nobody recognizes while they're alive either. So there's a lot of people in the world. It's a big planet full of people with different talents. And it's hard to pay attention to all of them, especially when we've got so much crack attention seeking dopamine bullshit on the computers now and our phones. And everybody's listening to some nonsense, like, I don't know, listening to a radio show where the host takes colors from fake entities that are programmed in a computer.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RITA</span><p>Yeah, well, I'm listening to that show right now. So what does that say about me? But seriously, I heard you earlier with Marlene. And I think you were kind of hard on her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I get that a lot. I think people just don't like to be told the truth.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And I'm not really in the business of of coddling people or telling them what they want to hear. I'm in the business of giving the best advice I can. And sometimes that's hard.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>No, I get that. I do. But what I'm saying is, this old man tonight, he probably never got recognized while he was alive. either. He was just playing his caritos at Quincerra's and nobody paid attention. And now he's gone and his own grandson didn't even know. And I'm sitting here at three in the morning thinking, what's the point?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, the point is that the dead grandfather had a great time expressing himself musically while he was alive. That was the point. And anything other than that, any recognition afterwards or fond memories of somebody else's past skill is pretty irrelevant in the whole scheme of the universe.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, okay. But then why do we keep anything? Why do we, I mean, I've got this whole box of my dad's old tools in my garage that I never use. Mark keeps saying we should sell them, but I can't. And it's not even about the tools. It's about, I don't know. I don't know why we keep things.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't. to me and if it's both useful and has, what's the intrinsic value, sentimental value? If it has sentimental value to me and it's useful, I'll keep it. But I don't keep stuff just to keep reminders of people or things or events or places or anything. That's just wasting space.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>So you think I should just let it all go? The old man's music, my dad's tools, all of it, just</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What? Make peace with the fact that nothing lasts. Nothing lasts and nothing is supposed to last. And that's how it's designed and that's the beauty of this whole thing we're doing. So, yeah, if you like the old man's music, if caritos are your thing and you enjoy listening to the music, then keep that. If you're going to use your dad's tools, if they're good tools, then keep those. But if you're just holding on to them because of the memory of who they used to belong to, you're wasting space. And every time you move for the rest of your life, you've got to move. a big box of tools or get somebody else to and pay to store it. And it's just, it's unnecessary. It's baggage. So, um, I for one, believe you should travel with as little baggage as possible.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>God, that's cold. It's not. I mean, you're not wrong. But, okay, so what about the grandson? He's got this one album his grandfather made, probably sitting in some storage unit somewhere. Should he just toss it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Depends on if he likes the record or not. If he's to listen to it, then no, he should hang on to it and listen to it throughout his life. If he doesn't like caritos and he doesn't have a record player, then I don't know that there's a good reason to hold on to that forever.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You know what? I actually called about something else. But now I'm thinking maybe it's all connected. I've been keeping a list for years.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, a list of what?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Musicians, local ones, people who played around here, and then just disappeared. I started it maybe five years ago after I dispatched a call to this house. And when the paramedics got there, they found all these old posters on the wall. Guy had played guitar in like 15 different bands in the 80s and 90s.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's pretty cool. What are you going to do with the list?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That's the thing. I don't know. I just keep adding to it. Tonight, after that call with the grandfather, I added him. Miguel Sandoval. One album, 1974. And I'm sitting here at like two in the morning with 40 names.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And I'm thinking, well, I mean, that's a, it's obviously important to you. Music obviously speaks to you on a different level, and you also like archiving and keeping the memory of those things going. So maybe this, this makes you suited to run like a record shop or an antique shop where you can hold on to those things and trade them.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Wait, hold on. You think I should quit dispatch and open a record shop at 53 years old?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why not? If you love records, you love music, that's what you want to do. You're 53 years old. You can do whatever you goddamn please. And you don't have to quit your job. You could do it on the side. You could do it as a little side hobby, hustle.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>The archiver. I mean, Mark would lose his mind. We've got the house payment, his trucks on its last legs. And honestly, I don't even collect records myself. I've got maybe 20 at home. It's not about owning them. It's about, I don't know how to explain this. I don't know what you're asking. I guess I'm asking if it matters.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>If I write all these names down, if I remember them, does it actually do anything? Because tonight, looking at that old man's grandson, this kid didn't even know his grandfather made music. Didn't know there was this whole part of him. And I'm thinking, I know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You do know. And that's a piece of information that you can have and not everybody has to have all the same bits of information that you have. No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. all. It doesn't matter to anybody.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, you're right. That's what I figured. It's just... Okay. Earlier tonight, Hector called in about lying on his resume, and I was laughing so hard I almost ran. And I thought, that matters right now to him. But in five years, nobody's going to remember that conversation. And Miguel Sandoval, nobody remembers his album either.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Nope. I also have, uh, several albums. that nobody ever listened to and nobody will ever remember. And that's just part of being a musician. What was cool about them, though, was creating the albums. And having that in my belt of things that I've done, I'm not everybody can say they've created a whole record of their own music. And I can. And that's a pretty cool thing. So it's worth doing whether anybody listened to it or not. I still listen to it sometimes. That's all that matters. Okay, we're going to take one more call tonight. One more call. Who's it going to be? Who's it going to be? Should it be? Should it be? Chip or Pam? Chip or Pam? Chip or Pam? I'm going with Pam because I've been watching a lot of office clips lately and I forgot how good Pam was on that. All right. So, Pam, welcome to the show.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PAM</span><p>Oh man, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So, okay. Here's the thing. I've been a bail enforcement agent for six years. Tracking down bail jumpers. all over Hidalgo County. And my boss just told me there's an insurance audit coming next week, which would be totally fine except I lied on my resume when I got hired.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, what's with all you resume liars? I mean, how is this such an issue today? What's going on? Are you all talking to each other? What's the deal? What was your lie?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PAM</span><p>Wait, there's more of us tonight? Oh, God, that's okay. That actually makes me feel a little better. and a lot worse at the same time. I told them I had an associate's degree in criminal justice.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you shouldn't have done that. And if they're going to give you hard time about it, then you should get your associate's degree in criminal justice. But I say, let them know that you lied, or don't. That's what I say. Don't say. Don't say anything. And if they find it in the audit, then come clean that you lied. And see if you can escape by. But we're not going to keep this conversation going too long because we already had one with the same.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PAM</span><p>Same issue, Pam. No, no, no, wait. Luke, it's not the same thing. The other guy. Hector, right? He can learn Spanish in three weeks. Or fake it with an app. Or whatever. But I've been doing this job for. I've brought in over 200 skips.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Was Hector the guy that they pushed out of the plane and Scarface? Was that Hector?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PAM</span><p>What? No. That was, yeah.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Different Hector.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PAM</span><p>But Luke, listen. I'm sitting in my truck right now outside the office with the engine running because I don't know if I should walk in tomorrow or just drive until I hit the golf.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's a bit dramatic.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PAM</span><p>Really good. I know how to read people. I know the county. I know which cousins are lying and which bartenders will actually call me back.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, good for you.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you're good at your job or you think you are anyway and you want us to think you are too.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>And you lied on your resume and you may get caught, but you also might not.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So just go to work like it's a normal day. It's unlikely that they care. If you're good at you, if you're as good at this as you say you are, then they'll find a reason to leave you alone.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You really think so? Because I've been sitting here for an hour just I keep thinking about John Wayne, which is stupid. But he never pretended to be something he wasn't, you know. He just was who he was, and people either liked it or they didn't.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know if that's true at all. I bet you John Wayne pretended to be a lot of things. He was not.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Well, yeah. I mean, he was an actor, but...</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He sure was. Okay, bad example.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>There we go. I just mean, like, the characters he played, they have this code, right? They didn't lie about who they were. And here I am, six years in. And the whole thing's built on this one stupid lie I told because I was desperate and broke after my second divorce. And I thought, how hard can it be to track down people who don't want to be found?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much. And if it's a problem, then deal with it then. But otherwise, don't lie anymore. You've learned your lesson. No more lies.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah. Yeah. You're right. I just, God, I've been spiraling out here.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, hopefully you feel a little bit better now. Go to work in the morning. Like nothing happened, and just deal with it as it comes. Thanks for calling. And thanks for tuning in to another episode of Luke at the Roost. We hope you have a lovely evening. And we'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Thank you.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 15: Fake Fat Tuesday Trivia and Life-Changing Calls</h1>
|
||||||
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-18T11:25:23+00:00">February 18, 2026</time> · 56 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Luke hosts a special 'Fake Fat Tuesday' edition of his call-in radio show, where listeners share their personal struggles and seek advice. From a man finding purpose after a layoff to a social worker grappling with guilt, each caller's story captivates the audience. Will Luke's trivia expertise and sage wisdom help guide them towards resolution? Tune in for an unforgettable episode filled with humor, heartbreak, and the occasional 3D printed kidney.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back to the show. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. This is the call-in radio show where you can call in, and I'll give you the best advice I possibly can. It's a little bit late today. I had to take a little nap and then push the show back. So today is actually February the 18th, but we're going to pretend. We're going to pretend that it's February the 17th. Why are we going to pretend that? As you may know is Fat Tuesday. That's Fat Tuesday. It's Mardi Gras time, folks, out here in New Mexico. So for today's show, I've got some New Orleans trivia for our callers. That's going to be fun. If you'd like to call in, the number is 208-439-583. That's 208-439 Luke. Or you can also send us an email there to submissions at Luke at theroost.com. So with all that being said, I think it's time to get to our show. Our phones are lit up like they are around this time. And first up, we have Rodney. Rodney, welcome to the show. How are you? Happy Fat Tuesday.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Fat Tuesday was yesterday, Luke.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I know. I appreciate the sentiment.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>So listen. I'm sitting in my truck outside a closed Chinese restaurant in Lordsburg, New Mexico at midnight. And I just cracked open a fortune cookie that says it's too late. That's it. That's the whole fortune. And I cannot decide if the universe is talking to me, or if I'm just losing my mind in a parking lot.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sounds to me, sir, like you're just losing your mind in a parking lot, because it's never too late for anything. You can be anything you want to be. Wake up in the morning, it's a whole new day, you're a whole new you, and there's nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it. That's what I always say. But we're pretending. We're pretending that it's still fat Tuesday, sir. So go with me. that it is still February 17th, Fat Tuesday. And I've got some trivia for you. Are you ready for that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Oh, I can do trivia. Hit me. I got nowhere to be. The restaurant's closed. My truck's running. And apparently the universe already gave up on me. So, let's do some trivia.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, here we go. Why are New Orleans cemeteries called Cities of the Dead?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Oh man. Is it because they bury people above ground down there? Because the water table's so high you'd just be floating your loved ones away if you put them in the ground.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is correct, sir. I've actually been there. It's really weird. They're all in like tombs above ground. It's a pretty freaky situation. Have you ever been to New Orleans, sir?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>I have not. Closest I've gotten is Beaumont. Texas, which is, I mean it's humid and it smells weird, but I don't think it counts. New Orleans solar list, though, always has been. Although at the rate I'm going, sitting in parking lots reading ominous fortune cookies, maybe I should just stay in the desert where things make sense.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, maybe you should. That's what I'm doing. Things do make sense here in the desert, and we bury people under the ground here, which is, which makes sense to me, I guess. So, you're sitting in the parking lot, you got your bad fortune cookie, and you're afraid it's too late. What do you think it might be too late for?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>My ex-wife texted me three days ago. First time in two years. Just asked if we could talk. And I haven't answered her. And then I crack open that cookie, and it says, it's too late. And I just, I don't know, man. I've been sitting here for 40 minutes now, trying to figure out out if that's the universe telling me I already blew it by waiting three days, or if it's telling me something bigger.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think it's I honestly don't think it's telling you anything. I think you just got a fortune cookie at a shut down Chinese restaurant in Lourdesburg, New Mexico, and you can never trust the Chinese restaurant in the desert. So I think I wouldn't put too much stock into what the universe is trying to tell you with your fortune. Instead, I might, if you want to talk to your ex-wife, call her. And if you don't want to talk to her, don't call her. It's that simple.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>See, that's what I'm hoping, Luke. That's exactly what I'm hoping. Because I'm supposed to head back to the rig tomorrow morning, and I got to know if I'm just losing it out here. Last year, I killed a rattlesnake in my kitchen with a shovel at three in the morning.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Jesus.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Didn't flinch, didn't think twice. This little strip of paper has me calling a radio show. ridiculous.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know what I always say. This radio show is like killing a rattlesnake with a shovel.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Ha, I mean you're not wrong. You just, you just pick up the phone and you do it. You don't think about it too hard.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's right, sir, and that's my advice for you. So if you'd like to talk to the wife, you want to get back, do you want to get back with her? Is that what's going on? Do you miss the X?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Yeah, yeah, I do. I'm not going to sit here in a parking lot at midnight and lie to you about it. I miss her, but here's the thing. She left.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, she's obviously got something to say to you because she's reaching out. So if you miss her and you want to talk to her and you don't hate her guts, then give her a call and work it out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>I know. I know you're right. And it's not it's not that I hate her. I don't hate her at all. It's that I don't know what she to say.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're never going to know until you make the call, so let's get to that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>You're right. That's, yeah, that's just the truth right there. I've been sitting in this truck for 40 minutes working up to calling a radio show instead of just calling Denise. And that probably tells you everything you need to know about me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's correct. It does. And we wish you the best of luck, sir. Enjoy your fortune cookie. And good luck with the X. Estelle. Stell, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. Happy Fat Tuesday. I know it's not really Fat Tuesday, but we're pretending because I feel asleep. And, you know, I'm a person too. Very, very busy man. Are you ready to play Fat Tuesday trivia?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Ha. Okay. I did not call in for trivia, but I'll take it. Hit me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Louisiana is the only state that doesn't have counties. What does Louisiana have instead?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Perishes? That one I actually know. I'm a social worker, so yeah.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Very good. That's the correct answer. And what are you calling in for tonight, Estelle?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Okay, so I came inside at two in the morning and realized I have not had a real conversation about my own life with another human being, and I don't even know how long.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so what is it that you'd like to say to another human being?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>I don't even know where to start. I mean, I know, but it's embarrassing. So here's the headline. I've been having more meaningful conversations with an 87-year-old woman in Hachita about her late husband's dentures than I have with anyone about my own life in, what, six months?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know what, that conversation with that 87-year-old woman about those dentures, that is your life. That's your life, too. So you are having conversations about your life. What is it that's on your mind?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Okay, yeah, fair. That's, yeah. What's on my mind is that I came inside to, and there was a frozen lasagna on the table that I have microwaved every single Wednesday for six months. And the chair was pulled out at the exact same angle it always is. And I just stood there and thought, did I choose this? Or did it just kind of happen to me?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, the answer is you chose it because you choose everything. So nothing just happens. If you have lulled yourself into a state of complacency with your life, then change it. But it's something that you did.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Oh, come on. That's a lot. That's not. Okay, no. I hear you. But it's not that simple. It is. I, my job. I like the quiet. I like the stars. But then I'm out there in the dark with my telescope, and I'm talking to myself about Andromeda, like some kind of, like some kind of desert hermit. And I don't even know if I'm lonely or if I just got used to the silence.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So what's the problem? Why is that a problem? Are you enjoying yourself out under the stars looking through your telescope and Andromeda? Because that's what I do. And I am a desert hermit, and that's perfectly okay. If you're comfortable with that, great. If you're not comfortable with that, though, then it's time to make a change in your life and join a group or do something other than sit by yourself. And there's lots of ways to do that. There's plenty of opportunities. You just have to make a decision and put forth the effort to have the life that you want. But all of it is you. You control 100%. Okay.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>But no, I control it. that's not the point. The point is, I don't even what I want anymore. Like, I, the quiet. I like the routine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It sounds like you've been hitting the bottle, lady. What's your consumption level these days?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Ha, no, I wish. Honestly, no, I'm stone cold sober standing in my kitchen at two in the morning staring at a lasagna. Which is maybe worse? Like, at least if I'd been drinking, there'd be a reason I couldn't answer a basic question about my own life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're not making complete sentences. You're not making any sense and you're meandering about nothing. You call the radio show you have no point to make. I'm not really sure why you're here. So, do you have something you'd like to talk about or should we move on to the next caller?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Okay. Okay, here it is. I think I'm scared that I'm building a life that looks exactly like what I want on paper. The job, the solitude, the telescope, the desert. And it's going to be going to be eating that lasagna alone on a Wednesday.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's enough of you. Eat your lasagna. Stop whining. If you want to change your life, change your life. But you're a boring caller, and we don't need boring callers. Next time you call in, have something interesting to say. That's what I have to say. And next up, we have Leon. Leon, do not be a boring caller, please. Do your best to be an interesting and have something to say. Today is not Fat Tuesday, but we're pretending it is because I fell asleep on Fat Tuesday. And I've got some trivia for you. Are you ready for my New Orleans trivia?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Ha! Luke! Man, it is good to be back. Okay, but hold on. Before you hit me with trivia, I got to tell you something first.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, hit me with some funny shit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>So I quit the boot camp.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. The boot camp was for coding? Is that what that was about?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Yeah, the coding, Python, all of it. I'm not going to lie, I lasted about six weeks, and I spent probably five of them watching poker strategy videos instead of writing code. You and I talked about that, actually. Last time, you said something that kind of stuck with me. You basically told me that at 56, poker is just as legitimate as anything else I could be chasing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure thing. So are you chasing the poker now?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>I entered a tournament. Last Saturday, down in Albuquerque.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wow, that's fantastic. Entering a tournament, though, anybody can enter a tournament at any time. What is your strategy for moving forward with your poker career? Tell us about your bankroll management.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Okay, so, I'm not going to lie. I did not expect you to know the word bankroll, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, I deserve that. That's impressive. Okay, so here's the thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>I don't have a poker career yet. I want to be real clear about that, but I did cash.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What was your tournament? What were the stakes and what did you cash?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>It was a $65 buy-in at one of the card rooms down there. Nothing crazy. And I cashed for $180. So, I mean, it's not like I'm retiring from towing. But I'm not going to lie, I sat at that table for like four hours, and I felt more alive than I had in a long time. It's like I knew what I was doing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I think you're going to find that a poker room, wherever you are in New Mexico, is a very different experience than if you were going to play with professionals in Vegas or anywhere else there were professionals. 180? That's a nice little win. But anybody can win once in a while. We call that beginner's luck. You're going to need a poker strategy. How much money do you have for your bankroll? Like, how much can you afford to lose before you're working off your own money?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>No, you're absolutely right. And I know that. I'm not delusional about it. But here's the thing. The guys I beat on Saturday, some of them weren't chumps either.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, and that's great. Congratulations. But I'm trying to push you in the right direction here, sir, and you're not going with me. What stakes are you playing with at? Like, what's your game?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Okay, okay, fair. I hear you. Right now, I'm playing micro-stakes online, like $2, $5 stuff, and I've been studying, I'm not going to lie, way harder than I ever studied Python.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and what are you studying? Are you studying the old Doyle Bronson books? Are you studying GTO? What is your strategy for learning and improving and being a professional poker player? If you're not going to... When I gave you that advice, when I told you it's not too late to start anything, I meant to start something. So just going to play poker at a card room on a Thursday is not starting something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Yeah, yeah, okay, that's fair. That stings a little, but that's fair.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, congratulations on your journey here. I hope it goes well for you, and you already got a win under your belt, and that's nice. But it's going to be a long road, a lot of grinding. And if you want to be successful at poker, you're going to have to have a plan. And it sounds like you don't. So I recommend buckling down and seeing how the pros do it and follow a strategy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>I hear you, Luke. I do. And I'm not going to lie. I've been thinking about this a lot since last time we talked. I've been watching some of those poker training videos, the ones where they break down hands and talk about ranges and all that. It's a lot.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it's a lot, and it sounds like you don't quite understand it. So before you get into a position where your life is on the line on a poker game, I recommend getting these basic fundamental, at least a poker words, you know, the language, get this under your belt.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>No. You're right. You're right. And honestly, I'm not going to lie. I called tonight thinking you were going to be a little more excited for me about the $180, and I was going to feel good about myself and go to bed. And instead, you're kind of doing what my daughter does, which is just cut right through it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you can still feel good about yourself. You want money in a poker game, and that's pretty cool. But we're talking about your life and career going forward, and $180 in a poker game isn't going to pay your mortgage.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>No! No, it's not. And Amber would, she would have something to say about that if I suggested otherwise. So here's the thing. Here's why I actually called tonight. I dropped the boot camp.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you told me that. You dropped the boot camp because you're going to follow your poker dream.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>No, no. I dropped it because I got into UNM. Full ride. They saw my work history. They saw my age. They saw that I was serious.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I was under the impression that you dropped the boot camp to become a poker professional. But if you're just doing this as a hobby for fun and you want $180, congratulations, you can feel good about yourself and go to bed. But also, congratulations for your entry into UN&M. What is it for? A full ride for what?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Computer science. Full ride. And I'm not going to lie, Luke. I'm scared shitless. I got the letter today, and I just sat in my truck in the parking lot at work and work and read it three times. And then I called Amber, and she just started crying. And I don't know if it was happy crying or terrified crying, but I think it was both.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Either way, it will be an adventure, and you've got yourself a full ride to being unemployed. Congratulations. Are you ready for the trivia?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. That was Leon. Leon's a tough one. He calls in sometimes and he just wants me to tell him everything's great. And everything's not great. Oh, good for you. You went to a poker room. You played a tournament and you got lucky. That doesn't mean you're good at poker. That means you bet 40 bucks and won. Okay, next. Heather, Heather, welcome to the show. What's going on, Heather? Thanks for calling in. Happy fake Fat Tuesday. Today is the Fat Tuesday for people that fell asleep during Fat Tuesday. I've got some trivia for you. Are you ready for your question?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Oh, I'll do the trivia, sure, but okay, I have to say something first because I've been sitting here for like 40 minutes waiting to get on, and I will absolutely lose my mind if I don't say it. I just told my mom no. Like, to her face. Well, on the phone. But I said no to my mom tonight, and I feel like I committed an actual crime.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What did you say no about?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>She called me three hours ago asking if I could loan her $400 for a furnace repair. And I said no. I said the actual word no to my mother, who is cold, Luke. She's cold right now, potentially. And I'm sitting here in the dark at work feeling like the worst person in New Mexico.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, why did you say no, over 400 bucks, if your mother is freezing in New Mexico?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Because I am 17 thousand dollars in debt and I literally do not have four hundred dollars. Like, that's not a figure of speech. I have maybe 80 bucks until Friday.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well then you can't give her the money. No big deal. You've got to say no. If you don't have the money to give her, you can't say yes. That would be strange. And then, you know, when she comes to get the money, you don't have it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Oh, that'd be even worse.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I bet you would feel like a silly goose. So it sounds to me like you did the right thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>No, I know, I know you're right. Logically, I know that. But like, Okay, here's the thing. My mom is not great at taking care of herself. Like, she's getting older and she's getting smaller, if that makes sense. And I'm watching that happen, and I can't, I just feel like saying no to her is the same as saying, I can't take care of you. And that feels really bad at 25.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're 25. You don't have the money to support your parents financially. That's not strange. You can do what you can to take care of her. Do you have a warm place that she can go? Where do you live?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>I mean, I'm at work right now. I do overnights at a group home, so yeah, I'm warm. She's over in, she's not that far. She's maybe 40 minutes away. And I'm sure she's fine. She probably has space heaters or whatever. I'm not saying she's actually freezing to death. I'm saying I feel like she might be, and I can't do anything about it even if she was.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's a shitty place to be, but if that's where you're at, that's where you're at. You're going to have to continue working on your own life first. Make sure you can get it on your feet before you can support anybody else, even your parents. If there's something you can do to help, then great. If you can help her maybe get funding from different sources or look for, I don't know, churches that can help or, you know, get her tied into the community and any sort of health care benefits that she's eligible for, you can help her in that way. But if you don't have the money yourself, then you don't have the money for her and that's, you don't have to feel bad about that. Just do your best.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, no, that's... Okay, the church thing actually isn't a bad idea, and I don't know why I didn't think of that. There's probably resources. I think I've just been so in my own head about it that I went straight to I failed her. Instead of like, okay, what else can we do?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I think a lot of people do that. And the thing is, it's not about you. That's a very common thing. Everybody makes everything about themselves. And this isn't about you. If you can help, then help. And there's lots of different resources out there that are available. You just got to track them down. If you're good at searching on the computer and stuff, then you have a better chance to find them than she does. But ask around, you work at a group home, so I'm sure that you're familiar with a big list of resources for housing and heating and phone assistance and utilities, all that jazz. So you can get her as settled as you can and do the best you can and don't feel bad when you can't take care of her, because the truth is it was her responsibility to take care of herself.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>That last part hit different. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. No, honestly, it's true. And I think that's the part I've been avoiding saying out loud because it feels mean. But like, she's a grown woman and I'm her kid. And somewhere along the way that got flipped around, and I've just been accepting that as normal.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's not as black and white as that. So I don't know your situation. I don't know your mother. I don't know if she has mental health issues or physical ailments or what the history is there. All I know is you're 25 years old. You're getting on your feet and you can't hold yourself responsible for the well-being of a grown adult that had 60 years to get themselves on the correct financial footing. So now that we're through that, you can feel all right. It's time for trivia. Are you ready for the trivia?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Wait, trivia? Okay. Yeah. I'm, yeah, hit me. I've been sitting in the dark for three hours. I might as well win something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, you're not going to win anything, but we just want to hear your answer. So, a Sicilian immigrant invented a famous New Orleans sandwich in 1906 at the Central Grocery. What is it called?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Oh, that's easy. The muffilletta. My grandpa used to get them from this little place over in, well, it's not there anymore, but back in the day. He'd bring one home and it'd feed us for three days.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. All right. Well, thank you for the call. Do your best with your mom. Try and help her out if you can. Don't take too much responsibility. And make sure that you're putting your own oxygen mask on first. That was the correct answer. I've never had a muffletta. I don't know where a muffletta is, but it sounds gross. Anyway, it's about time for a word from our sponsors. All right, folks. It's time to take a break to thank today's sponsor. The leader in Maple-based Marmalade. If your toast has been living in a bland little studio apartment of flavor, it's time to move into the luxury suite.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>We're talking maple-based marmalade. Plus, marmalade-related products, because apparently Jam Hospitality asked, what if breakfast had a brand ecosystem? Go to www.myfavoritmarmalade.com and use code jam it in you for 15% off. That's Jam it in you, like jam it in you, but legally distinct and emotionally complex. Jam hospitality. Put it on toast. Put it on pancakes. Put it on your confidence. That's www. my favorite marmalade.com. Tell him Luke sent you. You're welcome. All right, and we're back. Archie. Archie, welcome to the show. How are you? Happy Fake Fat Tuesday.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>Oh, man, Luke. I'm about three cups of coffee and a half pack of camels past happy. But hey, Fake Fat Tuesday. Does that mean I could eat a king cake and still call it a salad? Yep. Because I could use the sugar rush right now. So here's the thing. I just found out my landscaping companies getting shut down in nine days. And they made me sign a non-disclosure agreement they told me. Like, here's your pink stuff. slip, here's a pen. Don't tell the guys you've been working with for three years that we're ghosting them. And tomorrow morning, I'm supposed to bid a residential job with Tommy and Jesse, guys who've got families, who think they've got work through March.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so just to get it right, you signed a non-disclosure agreement, an NDA, as we like to call it in the business, to not mention anything about the landscaping company being closed because I guess you're getting paid off or something like that. They would have you sign an NDA. And the first thing you do is call a radio show and tell the world about the landscaping company. How does that work?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>Yeah. Okay. I hear you. I hear you. In my defense, I didn't use the company name. And also, it's like two in the morning and I'm sitting in a Jewel Oskow parking lot in Chicago. So I'm not exactly thinking like a lawyer right now. That's actually part of a. why I'm calling. I'm trying to figure out if I even need to worry about that NDA. Because I genuinely don't know if what they made me sign is even legal. Like, can a company actually make you sign something that says you can't warn your co-workers that they're about to get blindsided?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, they can. And you did sign it. So if I were you, I would keep my fucking mouth shut. But if you can't do that, it's unlikely that they would be able to be able to enforce anything on you. They're not going to sue you for telling Pablo that he doesn't have to go to work tomorrow.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>Right, right. And that's, okay, that actually makes me feel a little better. Because what are they going to do? Sue a guy who's about to be unemployed? Like, come after my 2009 F-150 in my collection of gas station sunglasses. Good luck. But here's the part that's actually keeping me up at night, Luke. It's not even the NDA.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, what is it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>It's Tommy and Jesse. Because tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock, I'm supposed to sit across from these two guys at a diner and walk them through a bit on a residential project. Let them measure square footage and talk about mulch prices and act like they've got six weeks of work lined up. And I know the second they cut me loose, the company's going to ghost that contract. Like it just disappears. And these guys are going to be standing in some homeowner's driveway. wondering what happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, for your meeting tomorrow, are Tommy and Jesse being compensated for their time?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>That's, ha. I mean, no. No, it's a bid. Nobody gets paid to bid a job. You show up. You measure. You talk numbers. You hope you get the work. So they're not losing money tomorrow exactly. They're just, they're losing time they could spend, lining something else up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>you're sick tomorrow and that's how you handle it. You know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>Oh, I thought about that. I really did. But here's the thing. Tommy's got a kid with asthma. And Jesse's wife just got laid off from the school district. They're counting on this. And if I don't show up, they're going to think I'm flaking on them. And then they'll be scrambling to find another crew to bid with. And that's just, that's another week of uncertainty for them. And I can't do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you can't do that. that. And it sounds to me like you don't really have to do anything here. It's not you closing down the company. And you promised the company in writing that you wouldn't tell anybody. So if you have any sort of pension or severance package on the line here, I think that's what you would risk by breaking the NDA.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>Yeah, no, you're right. And I know you're right. And I know you're right. There's no pension. I'm a landscaper, Luke. Not a longshoreman. But there is severance. And honestly, I think that's the only reason I signed the thing in the first place. Like they put the paper in front of me and I just, I signed it. Monday afternoon still had dirt under my fingernails. And I just signed it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, then you're in the position you're in. And you can't worry about everybody else. So I would, if I were you, I would start looking for a new employment opportunity.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, that's. I know. No. And I've been doing that. Or I've been telling myself I've been doing that. But mostly what I've been doing is driving around Juulosco parking lots at midnight. So, you know, productivity's been high.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, you know what you've got to do now. And now it's time for fake Fat Tuesday trivia. Are you ready?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>Oh, yeah. Sure. Hit me. I'm already in a parking lot at midnight. I got nowhere to be.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>New Orleans hosts the oldest continuously running gay Mardi Gras crew in the country. What's it called?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ARCHIE</span><p>Oh, man. I have absolutely no idea. The Beads and Boas?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, sir. It's actually called the Crew of Yuga, founded in 1958. How progressive. Thank you for the call, sir. I'm sorry to hear about your situation at work. If I were you. I would keep my mouth shut and honor the NDA and try to help, try and help out your friends as much as you can in some other way after they get the news. All right, we're moving on. Thank you again for the call. Misty, Misty, welcome to the show. How are you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MISTY</span><p>Not great, Luke. I came home from Tucson tonight, and my brother threw a party in my house while I was gone. destroyed the place.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And destroyed how? How bad?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MISTY</span><p>Soaked carpet, cracked flat screen, boot-shaped hole in my bathroom drywall, and someone ripped the handle clean off my refrigerator. Like, the handle, off the refrigerator.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, that's not good. What is the carpet soaked in?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MISTY</span><p>You know what, Luke? I did not investigate that closely, and I am choosing not to think about it right now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and what's your brother have to say for himself?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MISTY</span><p>He woke up confused, like genuinely confused why I was upset, said it was just a few people, just a few people from animus, tore through my house, and he's looking at me like I'm the unreasonable one.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, those animus people are pretty rowdy. I'll give him that. And it sounds like your house is trash pretty good, and he's going to have to have a better answer than that. So is he going to help you pay for the damages and the repairs?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MISTY</span><p>Oh, he, like, real generous. He said he'd help me out with some of it. But Travis's idea of helping out is showing up with a case of beer and a shop vac he borrowed from his buddy's uncle. He doesn't have a job, Luke. He's been between gigs since last summer, which in Travis speak means he's been living off my leftover takeout and whatever he can scam off his friends. And now he's got the nerve to act like I'm being dramatic.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds to me like it might be time. to cut some ties with your brother. You know, let him, let him figure out his own thing and stop their own parties at your house. Because, uh, you shouldn't have to support a grown-ass man.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MISTY</span><p>No, and that's the thing. I know you're right, and I've known your right for a while now. But he's my brother, you know, like our mom passed three years ago, and it's kind of just been us since then.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, just to help you out, because this is the kind of guy I am, I'm going to give you a shot at redemption, all right? I got an easy one for you. You ready?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MISTY</span><p>Okay, yes. Yes. Give it to me. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm focused.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's what she said. Okay, the song, House of the Rising Sun, is about a New Orleans establishment. What kind of place is it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MISTY</span><p>A brothel.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is correct. Congratulations. Redemption. Hold on. We got to play the correct sound so you can get the full experience. All right. Nice job.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MISTY</span><p>Oh, thank God. Okay. Yes. I needed that. I was sitting here, sweating and my truck.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, Misty. Thanks for the call. Sorry, your place got trashed. It's time to get your brother out of there and move on with your life. So that doesn't happen again. So I hope you can get it all cleaned up and investigate what the carpet is soaked with. Maybe replace that carpet. And now, folks, it's time for another word from our sponsors. This episode is brought to you by Nile Nosh. Meal kit for people who've given up but still need to eat something. Look, we're not going to promise that it'll change your life. You're still going to die alone. But at least you can spend your remaining Tuesday evenings chopping vegetables you can't pronounce. Each box contains three meals that take 45 minutes to make when they could have taken eight because suffering is the only authentic human experience. This week's menu, Horissa glazed despair with quinoa, panseered regret over arugula, and our customer favorite, chicken thighs with preserved lemon and unprocessed drama. Use code void at checkout for 15% off your first box. That's code void, because we're all just screaming into one. Nile Nosh. You got to eat something. Might as well be complicated. Okay. And we're back. Next up on the line, we've got Chenequah. Chenequah, thanks for calling. And happy fake fat Tuesday.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHENEQUAH</span><p>Ha, happy fake fat Tuesday to you. You too, Luke. Okay, so I hit somebody's car last month and drove away. And now I see that car everywhere. And I think the universe is absolutely torturing me for it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>As it should be. What are you going to do about that? You're just going to live with it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHENEQUAH</span><p>That's the thing. I don't know. Like I keep telling myself I'm going to do something. And then I just don't. And I'm a social worker, Luke. 33 years. I sit across people every single day and tell them the hard thing is always the right thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, do you have insurance?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHENEQUAH</span><p>I do. Yeah. Full coverage. Which actually makes this worse, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it does. So I don't know what you're calling in looking for me to tell you. Obviously, what you should do is talk to the owner of the vehicle that you hit and make it right. That's the right thing to do. That's what you should do. And not doing that is a crime. And it makes you a bad person.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHENEQUAH</span><p>Oh, I know I'm a bad person, Luke. That's not the part I'm struggling with. I'm a bad person. I just... I want to do the right thing. Sorry, I fumbled that. I want to do it. I know exactly what I need to do it. I know exactly what I need to do. I just, every time I see that car, I kind of freeze up and then I drive past it, and then I hate myself for the next two hours.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you know the owner of the car?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHENEQUAH</span><p>No, that's the thing. I don't know who it is. I mean, I know it's a white Nissan with a crumpled bumper and a cracked tail light, but I don't know who owns it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, here's what I think you should do. I think you should take yourself down to the police station, explain what happens, say you panicked, and come clean about the situation in case maybe they're looking for someone. So you can save a lot of people a lot of time and then help the owner of that vehicle get it fixed through your insurance.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHENEQUAH</span><p>Yeah. Yeah. I know you're right. And the thing is, and I know how this sounds, but I keep driving past that police station too. Like, I have driven past it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, what would you like me to tell you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHENEQUAH</span><p>I don't know, Luke. I don't know what I'm calling for. I just, I keep seeing that car. It's like it's me store and there it is. I'll be at the clinic where I work. And there it is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you've got a lot of opportunities to make things right. So it's about time you do that. Hey, we're doing trivia and I've got a trivia question for you. Are you ready? Since you clearly don't have anything else to talk about?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHENEQUAH</span><p>Oh, God. Okay, yeah. Hit me. I deserve that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. What New Orleans cocktail was invented at the Roosevelt Hotel Bar and is made with cream, orange flower water, and soda.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHENEQUAH</span><p>Oh, that's easy. It's a Sazirac, right? Wait, no, that's not right. The Sazirac doesn't have cream or soda. Hmm. Wait, is it a Viochere? No, that's got cognac and vermouth.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, it is the Ramos gin fizz, and it requires 12 minutes of shaking. Bartenders used to form relay teams just to mix one of them. All right. Thank you for the call, Shaniqua. You're going to have to do the right thing or not do the right thing, one way or the other. But either way, you're a horrible person, and we appreciate your call. Okay, thank you, Shaniqua. Next up, we got Curtis. Curtis, welcome to the show. Happy fake fat Tuesday.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks, man. So, my sister has been on dialysis for 18 months, and I just read that their 3D printing kidneys now, and nobody at her clinic has said a single word about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, maybe they don't have the ability to 3D print a kidney in your particular clinic.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>This is nowhere in New Mexico. We don't really have the best medical equipment here. No, I hear you. But this wasn't in New Mexico. This was Baltimore. That's even worse. A woman in Baltimore got one. And I'm sitting here at the Flying J at two in the morning thinking, okay, so this exists. This is how to do you happening? Why does nobody at the dialysis clinic even mention it? Like is Denise supposed to just keep driving four hours round trip to Albuquerque three times a week forever? Or is there actually something out there?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think driving four hours round trip to Albuquerque three times a week forever is the business model, sir. So yes, that's exactly what they wanted to do. There may be something out there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Have you done any independent research into 3D printable kidneys? Maybe that's something that you can push for. or, you know, advocate for.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I wouldn't expect the medical industry to really ever push you in the right direction. That's not how they get paid.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, that's, yeah, that's a dark way to look at it, but I don't think you're wrong.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>And honestly, that's kind of what's eating at me. Like I read this one article on my phone between customers tonight, and now I don't know if I'm holding on to something real or if I just found the one hopeful thing on the internet at three in the morning and I'm running with it. Because I won't. want to. You know what I mean? Like, is this actually close or is this a checkback in 2035 inches situation?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think it is close from similar articles that I've read about hearts and replacement shoulders. And I think it's very close. And the truth is 2035 is very close. So I don't know that it's going to be this year or next year. Maybe they're already doing it. I don't know. You might have to go to L.A. or something. Or, um, Boston or somewhere where, you know, they actually study medicine, not Baltimore.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Right, right. And that's the thing. Denise is in Arizona. She moved out there a few years back, and I'm over here in New Mexico, and she's got this clinic situation locked in, and I don't even know if she's on a transplant list. I don't know if she's looked into any of this. And now I'm the guy working the graveyard shift at a truck stop who read one article and is calling a radio show at three in the morning like I cracked the code. But somebody's got to be. paying attention, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No. It's everybody's responsibility to pay attention when things relate to themselves. Like, it's her responsibility. But you're in a position where you're working in the night shift and you have time and you seem somewhat interested in this subject. So maybe you can use your time at work to do that research and maybe find her a better deal and be her advocate. And that would be a good use of your skills.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>That's, yeah. Yeah, you're right. And honestly, that hits a little harder than I expected at three in the morning. Because I think part of why I'm so wound up about this is that I feel useless. Like she's the one doing the driving and the needles and the whole thing three times a week, and I'm just, I'm here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're not the one that needs the dialysis, so it makes sense that she would be doing it. And that's unfortunate. I'm not saying she deserves it or you don't deserve it. We get what we get. But in your situation, you're not the one that's sick, so it's not on you. But if you can help and you have the time to help and you have the ability to help, then that would be a good thing for you to do. And maybe you can help others as you learn more information about this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>No, I hear you. And I know it's not on me. But that doesn't stop me from feeling like I should be doing more. Like, I'm the one who's got the time to sit here and read articles between customers. And she's the one who's got to live with it. And I don't know. Maybe that's just how it is. But it still feels like I'm letting. her down by not knowing more.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you are not. It's not your responsibility to know anything about dialysis. So the fact that you even read the one article and care enough to call a radio show and talk about it says a lot. I think if you want to invest your time into helping her out, maybe you can make something happen there or at least let her know that you tried, you know, and sometimes that's enough. It's a horrible thing that people have to go through. And hopefully future soon. They can 3D print new parts for people when they fail. That's, I think, what we're all hoping for.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, man. I hope so too.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so we're doing fake Fat Tuesday trivia. I've got a question for you. Are you ready?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Oh, I'm ready. Hit me. I got nothing but time out here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. New Orleans is known for second lines. What exactly is a second line?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Okay, so a second line is basically this wild, unplanned parade that happens after a funeral in New Orleans. The main funeral procession is all somber and formal, right? But then, after the burial, the family and friends, and just who wants to join, musicians, dancers, random folks off the street, all start following the band again. But this time it's a brass bands play, people dance in the street. It's all about celebrating the person's life instead of just mourning. Yeah, man, it's a pretty cool. cool thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know why other places don't do that. It's just a big party when somebody dies. So everybody mourns real quick and then everybody parties behind them. That's the way it should be. And it's a cool thing that New Orleans does. And we appreciate the city of New Orleans for that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Hell yeah, that's the spirit. I mean, if you're going to go, might as well go out with a brass band and a two-step, right? None of this quiet, sad funeral nonsense. Just send them off with a good time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>you and thanks for the call. Don't feel too bad about your involvement and your sister's medical procedures. She's going to have to go through what she has to go through. And if you can help, great, do what you can. But don't take it upon yourself to be responsible because it's not on you. You're not her caregiver. And anything you do is you trying to help. We got one more caller today. And our caller is Carmen. Carmen, thanks for calling in. It's a Big Fat Tuesday, you're the last caller of the night. I've got some trivia for you. Are you ready for it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARMEN</span><p>Wait, hold on. Before you hit me with trivia, can I just? I just pulled my clarinet out of a closet for the first time in 10 years, and I don't know what to do about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, how about you play us a little ditty?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARMEN</span><p>I wish. I opened the case and just kind of stared at it. I don't even know if it's still in playable, can't.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How long you play the clarinet for?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARMEN</span><p>From when I was about nine until I was 18. So almost 10 years. I was good, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You play the clarinet for 10 years and you don't know by looking at one if it's in playable condition?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARMEN</span><p>Okay, fair. The reeds are probably shot. The pads might be dried out. I know what to look for. I just haven't let myself actually look yet. I've been sitting here with the case open for like an hour, just not touching it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, why aren't you touching it? If you pulled it out, you obviously want to play, you're thinking about it again. You've played for 10 years, so you certainly know how. I think it's fairly easy to get reeds and replacement parts at a music shop these days. What's the problem?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARMEN</span><p>Because I saw something tonight that kind of cracked me open a little bit. There's this woman, She got a scholarship to University of Arizona 28 years ago, a scholarship that I turned down. And she just posted on Instagram that she's going on a national tour with the Santa Fe Chamber Orchestra, playing the same piece I used to practice until my fingers went numb.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, obviously, you didn't want to follow that path or you wouldn't have put the clarinet down for so long. But since you did, if it's something that you want to get back into, You still got time. You can still play that piece and you can still join an orchestra. You don't necessarily need a scholarship to a university. There are plenty of chamber orchestras that will take you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARMEN</span><p>Oh, Iyat. I wanted it so bad I could taste it. But my mom left when I was 16, and my dad was working two jobs, and my little brothers were still in elementary school. Someone had to keep things together. So I stayed home, took the community. college route and ended up working southwest routes out of Phoenix. And now my dad keeps showing up at my place unannounced since he retired, reorganizing my kitchen cabinets and asking why I never play anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well circumstances came up. Your life took an unexpected turn and you dealt with it. And now you're at a different place. You obviously are self-supporting.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Your father is retired. And you can get back into the clarinet. If you want to, if it still calls to you, then it's not something that you're going to forget. It's there for the rest of your life. And if an orchestra is something that you want to be a part of, you can absolutely do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I know. I know you're right. And that's almost the scarier part, right? Like, it's not impossible. There's a community orchestra over in Las Cruces. I've driven past their sign a hundred times. Terrible. If 28 years did what 28 years does, then I have to actually grieve something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, hey, I mean, realistically, you're going to pick that up. You are going to be terrible in comparison to how you were 20 years ago. But you'll pick it up quickly. You just got to put in the time. And if you love the clarinet, then you have no problem putting in the time. And you'll get back up to speed. You get your chops back. And I'm sure that the last cruis orchestra is not, um, not, I don't want to say not great, but I mean, your ability level will probably fit in well with a smaller orchestra like that.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Huh. No. That's okay. That's actually really funny and also probably true. And kind of a relief. Like, I'm not trying to get to Carnegie Hall. I just want to play again. I just want to play again. I just want to feel that thing again where you're so inside the music that everything else just</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you can do that. You've got that clarinet right there. All you got to do is run down to the music store, get some reeds. If you don't have a music store, then order them online. But they're not expensive. You know what you need to do. Pick up the clarinet and play some music and do that every day for a while. Get your chops back up and then think about joining that orchestra because there's nothing cooler than listening to an orchestra.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, yeah, you're right. And honestly, the clarinet's right here in front of me. I've been staring at it for an hour, like it's going to bite me. My dad's going to lose his mind when he finds out, by the way. He's going to show up and reorganize my living room and take full credit for it somehow.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, good for him. You know, he's got to get some small wins.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That's okay. That's fair. He does. He really does. The man raised three kids by himself. And now he's retired and lonely and showing up at my place moving my spice rack around. Let him have it. But, okay, I have a question for you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Hit me with it. What's your question?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Do I play it tonight? Like right now, after we hang up? Because it's almost, what, one in the morning? I've got a flight out of Phoenix tomorrow. But I'm sitting here. And the case is open and I just, I kind of want to.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you said that it had dried out reeds and it may not be in playable condition, but if you can play it, yeah, sure, you should. But it's not one in the morning. It's closer to quarter of four in the morning. And you're calling Luke at the Roost. It's our fake fat Tuesday special. And I have a question for you now. It's my turn. Are you ready for my question?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Quarter of four? Oh my God. I have to be up in. Okay. Yes. Yeah. Hit me with your question. I'm ready.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. What is a neutral ground in New Orleans? And why is it called that?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Oh. Oh, no. Okay. Um, is it the median?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It is the median. You're correct. Canal Street once served as the boundary between Creole and American settlements. In the middle was considered a neutral territory. So that's why they call it neutral territory. Thank you for the call. Congratulations on your newfound reinvigoration into music. I hope that goes well for you and that you get into that orchestra. We'll talk to you a little bit later. That's the end of our show.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 16: Tasting the Apocalypse</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-19T08:16:54+00:00">February 19, 2026</time> · 57 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Luke tackles a diverse array of callers' issues, from a man struggling with his long-distance relationship, to a 911 dispatcher haunted by past trauma, to a trucker experiencing bizarre neurological symptoms. Through it all, Luke offers insightful advice and empathy, leaving listeners engaged and entertained.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, welcome back to the show. It's Luke at the Roost. Tonight is Wednesday, February 18th. It's 11.11 p.m. And we're in a windstorm here in the desert inanimate, but that's not going to stop us. Little wind never stopped a good radio show. That's what I always say. If you'd like to call into the show, our numbers 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. and you'd like to participate, you can send us an email. Our email address is submissions at lukeatsderoose.com. So, that all being said, I hope everybody's having a good night out there tonight. We're going to get right to our show. First up, on the show, we've got Chester. Chester's calling in. What's going on in your life, Chester?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Luke, hey, so I just finished about an hour ago, and I'm sitting here at work absolutely wrecked. And I got to ask you something about it, about this. I work nights at the prison down in Donia Ana County, and I read the last chunk of it during my rounds tonight. Father and son pushing a shopping cart through literal apocalypse, right? And the father would die for this kid. Does die for this kid, basically. And here's the thing. My girlfriend Sarah is up in Albuquerque, and I drive three hours each way every other Friday to see her. Been doing it for eight months. Okay, so where's the thing? canceled on me. Always some excuse. Works crazy. My roommate needs me, whatever. And I'm sitting there in B Block at two in the morning with tears in my eyes because Cormac McCarthy just destroyed me with this father who'd walk through fire, and I'm thinking, I'm the one doing all the walking here. She won't even meet me halfway in Socorro.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe she's not the right one, or she's not that interested in you, or she's busy. Her life could be busy. You don't know. What's her life like? Does she have other responsibilities she's got to take care of? Does she not have the money to pay for the gas, maybe? There's a lot of reasons she might not be able to meet you halfway. Are you talking about the road?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Yeah, the road. Sorry, should have said that up front. And look, she's a manager at a brew pub, makes decent money, drives a newer Tacoma than mine, no kids, no sick parents, nothing like that. I've asked her straight up, can we split the drive sometimes? And she just says Albuquerque's better because there's more to do. All her friends are there, which, fine. But then don't cancel on me four times because your roommate's having boy problems where you picked up an extra shift you didn't have to pick up. And here's what's eating at me. The father in the book, he's got nothing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like maybe she's not the right one for you or you're not the right one for her. And if you're looking for more from her and you're not getting it, then move on, that's all.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Yeah, yeah, you're right. I know you're right. It's just I keep making excuses for her the same way I'm sitting here defending her to you right now. Oh, works busy Albuquerque's better. Like I'm trying to convince myself.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's your situation? Like, where do you live? What's your environment?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>I'm in Los Cruces. Got a little one bedroom off Lohman, nothing fancy, but it's mine. Work overnight at the prison three, four nights a week, depending on the schedule. Been there two years.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so you're in Las Cruces. There's plenty of people around there. be too hard to do.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>I mean, yeah, there's people. But I don't know, man. I work nights, sleep days, my social life is basically non-existent. Most of the guys I work with are married or they're 20 years older than me. I'm 28.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you're 28 in Las Cruces, New Mexico. You can throw up a little Tinder ad and see who bites. But are you in love with this girl?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>No, that's the thing. I'm not. me so hard tonight because the father in it he loves that kid so much he'd die for him without thinking twice.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Don't they eat people in that book?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Yeah they do. There's these roving gangs. They keep people in basements like livestock. It's brutal, but that's what makes the father's love for the kid so, I don't know. Pure? He's protecting him from all that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well maybe you should eat a little more of her and she'd be more inclined to come visit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Jesus, Luke. Okay, fair point. But honestly, last time she was down here, things were...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Things were what?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Off. Like, we had sex, but it felt like she was checking a box, you know? And then she spent half the weekend on her phone texting her friends in Albuquerque. I'm driving six hours round trip every other Friday to feel like an obligation.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, don't do it anymore. I mean, you're not in love with the chick. She's really far away. of women around you. You can move on or not. You know, it's okay being single too. It sounds like you don't really keep a consistent, well, I mean, you don't keep a normal daytime schedule like most people. So when do you have time to spend time with her?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>That's exactly it. I don't. My days off are like Tuesday and Wednesday. She works a normal job, nine to five. So even when I drive up there, she's got brunch plans with her girlfriends on Saturday, or she's tired from her week, and I'm sitting in her apartment waiting for her to have time for me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's disrespectful, so, I mean, you should just cut that out. There's no reason you should be doing that. She's obviously not into you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. It's just, I keep thinking if I just try harder, show up more, be more understanding about her schedule, then she'll, but that's the thing with the book, read the book.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I saw the movie and all I remember from it was that they ate people.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Yeah, they do. There's these roving gangs. They keep people in basements like livestock. You already said that. It's brutal. But that's what makes the father's love for the kids so, I don't know, pure. He's protecting him from all that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so break up with your girlfriend because you don't have time and she doesn't have time and you're not into each other and there's no reason to be spending the gas money. That's what I say to you. Break up with the girl.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Yeah, yeah, you're right. I'll do it. I'm not driving up there this Friday.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, good for you. You do it. That's, that's, uh, that's the can-do spirit that we look for here at Luke at the Roost. Next up on the radio show, we have Terry, Terry, welcome to the show. What's going on? Do you eat people?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Oh, Jesus. No, what? No, I'm a nurse. I mean, I have some stuff, but sorry. I'm just sitting in my car in the hospital parking lot right now, and I'm kind of losing it. I found out three days ago that I'm adopted, and my mom, well, the woman who raised me, she's had a stroke, and I just found all these papers at her house, and I don't know what to do with this information.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What are you thinking? You just found out that you're adopted, and your adopted mother, who you can call your mom, had a stroke. That's horrible. Are you around her to support and just be with her in her awful time of need?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Yeah, I mean, I've been at the hospital every day. I just got off a 12-hour shift and I'm supposed to go back in to see her before I head home, but I'm sitting here in the parking lot just frozen. What were the papers?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Official adoption documents dated six months after I was born, April 1980. My name, Terry Lynn, a different mother's signature, the whole thing notarized and legal. They were in a box in the back of her closet, with old tax returns.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, all that proves is that this woman loved you, and now she's sick, and you're there to care for her, and that's a good thing. So you don't have to worry about the being adopted thing. Lots of people are adopted. As long as she took care of you, she obviously made a decision to love you and raise you, and you're a nurse now, so you've made a decision to help people sounds ideal.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>I know. I know that. And you're right. She raised me. She loved me. She loved me. But, Luke, it's been 44 years, 44 years of her looking at me every single day and never saying a word.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Why would she say a word? She doesn't, there's nothing to say. There's nothing to say? I have a brother, Ray. He doesn't even know yet. I don't know if he's adopted to, or if it's just me. I don't know who my actual birth mother is or why she gave me up. I don't know if my dad, if he was my real dad, or if he knew.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there's probably a good reason for that. Your birth mother might not have wanted you to know that she existed, and your adopted mother may have just been afraid that if you learned that you were adopted, you would abandon her in favor of your birth mother who abandoned you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Oh, God. That's, I hadn't thought about it like that. She was protecting herself from me leaving. But here's the thing. I always felt like something was off. My whole life I felt like I was performing, like I was trying to be the daughter she wanted instead of just...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Instead of just what? I mean, what were you performing?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>I don't know. Being cheerful, being good, not being good, not causing problems. Ray was always the one who could just be himself, you know? He'd fight with her, slam doors, whatever. But I was always so careful, always trying to make sure she was happy with me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And why do you think that is? Does she give you a reason to behave in that way?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>No, not really. She was never mean or anything. But I always had this feeling. And maybe this sounds crazy, it. Like I had to prove I deserve to be there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I think a lot of kids feel that way, and I'm going to ask you this, and it's not to be mean, it's not to be cold, but what makes you feel like you shouldn't have had to earn it? Like, why would you just expect it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>I... Wow. That's a hell of a question, Luke. I guess because she's my mom, or I thought she was.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure, but that's a... That doesn't mean you don't have to earn affection or likeability. She's your mom, and she loved you, and she raised you, and she provided for you, and she did all the necessary things. So what is it that you were earning from her or that you felt like you had to earn from her?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>The feeling that I actually belonged there, that I wasn't temporary, that she wouldn't change her mind. And now I find out that's exactly what I was. Somebody else's kid that she took in.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, no, that's not what you were, because you were there for 44 years, right? So she raised you your whole life. She didn't ever treat you as temporary.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>No, you're right. She didn't, but she also never told me the truth. For 44 years, she let me think I was hers. And that feels like...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I'm sure it feels like a lot of things all at the same time, but if you try and separate yourself from the emotion of it and think about it logically and look at your life and how she treated you growing up. Was it all that bad? Does it matter, really? There are almost certainly good reasons that you were put up for adoption and that she adopted you. Maybe she couldn't have kids herself and she really wanted one. Maybe your birth mother was in a situation where she couldn't provide for you or was dying. Like, you don't know unless that's something something that you talk to her about. But I wouldn't feel like you've been wronged. It sounds, that sounds like an abundance of love to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>I hear what you're saying, Luke. I do, but she's had a stroke. She might not wake up. And if she doesn't, I'll never know why she didn't tell me. I'll never know who my birth mother was or why she gave me up. And Ray, my brother. He doesn't know any of this yet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So she had a stroke. She's in potentially the worst situation of her entire life and you're worried about whether you know why she gave you up or not. Like, why? It doesn't seem important.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Because I spent my whole life feeling like something was off and now I know I was right. And yeah, maybe that makes me selfish when she's lying in a hospital bed, but I can't just turn off 44 years of wondering why I never quite fit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, why you felt like you never quite fit has nothing to do with her. That's entirely a you thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>That's not fair, Luke. How is it entirely a me thing when she kept this massive secret my entire life? When every time I looked in the mirror and didn't see her face looking back, every time someone said I didn't act like family, she could have just told me the truth and she chose not to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because that's not a thing. People don't act like family. That's all about upbringing and your social environment. It doesn't have anything to do with your blood. People that are biologically related don't act a certain way because they're biologically related. They act a certain way because they grew up together. They share an intense, long-lasting life experience like you do with this woman who is in the hospital right now and your brother. And there's no reason you have to think any more about it there's nothing more to it than that. She loved you. You might not know what happened or why, but you can choose to go about the rest of your life with the understanding that you were loved and that there was likely a good reason in your best interest for the way those things played out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>You're probably right. I know you're probably right, but sitting here in this parking lot looking at those adoption papers with someone else's signature where my mother should be, I keep thinking about all the times I asked her why I was so different. Why I was bad at the things Ray was good at.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because you're a different person than Ray. You know, it has nothing to do with who raised you or who your mother was.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Okay, but then why hide it? If it doesn't matter, if blood doesn't matter, why not just tell me when I was 10 or 15 or 20? Why let me find out now like this, going through her files? Because she might die. That's what I can't get past.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because there could be a good reason for that. Your birth mother may have... That could have been a stipulation, like a non-disclosure agreement. There could be a very good reason that you don't know who that was.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Oh, God. I didn't even think about that. Like maybe my birth mother didn't want to be found. Or there was something...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Correct. And you can never know unless you can have that conversation with your mom. And you might not get that conversation. And if you think about it, logically, what would change in your life today if you had different information?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Nothing would change. That's the thing that's killing me, Luke. I'd still be sitting in this parking lot in my scrubs. I'd still have worked a 12-hour shift. Ray would still be Ray.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Exactly. Ray would still be Ray. Nothing would change. She would still be your mom. She would still be in the hospital. You would still be working, and everything would be exactly the same. So it really doesn't matter whether you know who your birth mother is or not. You could do one of those DNA test things or a genealogy situation. I don't know if that can go down to your actual birth parents. But why? Like, what is the point? It sounds like you had a decent upbringing. You're a grown adult with your own life now and maybe you feel like you don't fit in, but that's an unrelated problem to this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>You're right. I mean, she raised me. She was there for every scraped knee, every bad boyfriend. Every time I called her crying about something stupid. That's what matters. Not some signature on a piece of paper I found in a filing cabinet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Exactly. And what matters is that she is in the hospital and she may not recover and you may not recover only have a little bit of time left with her. So I would wipe this from your mind and go spend time with your mom.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I should go back in there. I've been sitting out here for almost an hour, just...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, you should go back in there. So do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TERRY</span><p>Okay, I will. Thank you, Luke. I really needed to hear that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You are very welcome, and I wish you all the best of luck. I hope she makes a full recovery. And then you can put this behind you and move on with your life. And with that, folks, it's time for a word from our sponsors.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Look, I'm not a financial advisor. I'm a guy with a microphone and a dog. But the folks at Crypto Know asked me to tell you about their new decentralized investment platform. And I legally have to read this part. Past performance does not guarantee future results. This is not financial advice. And if you invest your rent money, you disqualify exactly what happens next. Crypto no lets you trade over 400 digital currencies, including three that were invented this morning, and one that's just a picture of my dog. The app features a real-time portfolio tracker with a built-in panic button that just plays ocean sounds when your balance drops. Crypto no! Fortune favors the bold, but it does not return their calls. It does not return their calls. It does not return their calls. And we won't return your calls, but if you call in, you can leave us a voicemail. And if I think it's funny, it might be read on the next show. So you should do that. Next up on the old radio show, we've got Travis. Travis, welcome to the show. What's keeping you up tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting here in my dark room, trying to work. And two hours ago, my daughter shows me this video that's been going around her school since Monday. me, my face, my voice, telling a room full of kids that the Navajo Nation doesn't deserve water rights. Except, I never said that. Someone took footage from different talks I've given and stitched it together to make me say the exact opposite of everything I actually believe.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's pretty insane, and it's hard to believe anybody would say that. So, um, who do you think might have done this?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>I mean, that's the thing. I've been documenting pipeline construction and transmission lines for environmental groups and tribal councils for 15 years. I've testified against energy companies. I've worked with the Navajo Water Rights Commission. So take your pick, you know. Could be some kid who thinks it's funny. Could be someone with an actual axe to grind.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That doesn't sound like a thing a kid would actually even know about or know to do. So it seems more likely to me that that's one of your enemies trying to slander you in front of children?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>It doesn't make a lot of sense. You're right, it doesn't. I mean, what ninth grade even knows who I am or cares about water rights litigation. But here's what's messing with my head. My daughter said kids are commenting on it, sharing it around. And I'm sitting here thinking, okay, if this is some coordinated thing, from an energy company or a PR firm, why target a school presentation?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, there's a few strange things about where you're saying here. I don't think a video like that would go viral with high school kids. Maybe it would. I don't know. I've been out of high school for a while, so it just seems uninteresting to them. So do you have any known enemies? And do you have a relationship with the Navajo Nation?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>Yeah, I work with them pretty regularly, or I did. I've got contacts at the Water Rights Commission. I've photographed documentation for their legal cases. I've been out to Window Rock probably a dozen times in the last three years. As for enemies, I mean, there's the San Juan Coal Company. They weren't thrilled when my photos ended up in that lawsuit last year. There's a fracking outfit near Farmington that tried to get an injunction against me for trespassing on what they claimed was private land. But here's what I keep coming back to. If someone wanted to discredit me with the people I actually work with, with the tribal councils, or the environmental groups, they'd send it to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, absolutely. So you obviously have worked with the Navajo for a long time. You've got relationships in their council, I'm sure, and they know that you didn't say that, right? They're going to believe you when you say this wasn't me. I think at this point, everybody recognizes that this is possible and not that hard to do. So if there's a video of you saying something that is clearly against everything that you've ever stood for in your whole career, I think it should be pretty hard to dismiss. Strange to think about the why somebody would do this. What is the intention behind it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>That's what's keeping me up, man, because you're right. The people who know me know me, they'll know it's fake. But my daughter's sitting there scrolling through comments from kids saying, wow, what a racist and this guy's trash. And she's like, embarrassed. She asked me if I actually said it. And I'm thinking, okay, maybe that's not about destroying my credibility with the Navajo Water Rights Commission.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that is pretty dark right there. If somebody's going to try and destroy your own relationship with your kid, uh, you must to really piss somebody off badly.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>Yeah, and that's what's getting to me. Because I can handle getting yelled at by some executive in a boardroom. I can handle threats. I've had those before. But watching my kid look at me like she wasn't sure if she could believe me. That hit different.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it could be another thing, too, that we haven't thought about. What if it's not your enemy, but it's an enemy of your kid that was trying to embarrass your kid by looking up information about you and publishing that to the school.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>Oh man, I didn't even, yeah, that's a whole different angle. She's a junior, so there's all that social hierarchy stuff I don't fully understand. She did mention it first showed up on some group chat she's in, but she seemed more confused than like targeted, you know? Like she wasn't saying, someone's coming after me. She was saying, Dad, what is this? But now, I'm wondering, does she have beef with someone I don't know about?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>She might have beef with somebody that she doesn't know about. I mean, this is the 2026 version of a bucket of pig's blood at the prom.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>Jesus, that's bleak. But you might be on to something, because she's been kind of quiet lately. I thought it was just junior year stress, college stuff. But what if someone's been messing with her, and this is just what finally bubbled up to where I could see it. I mean, how do I even ask her that without making it worse? Hey, honey, which of your classmates hates you enough to deep fake your dad?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you could just start with a simple conversation like, hey, I'm trying to get to the bottom of where this video came from and why it was distributed to your school. And there doesn't seem to be a good reason that any of my adversaries would target me in that way, because they wouldn't overwhelmingly, very lazy, and that takes a lot of coordination to pull off. There's a lot of information they had to pull up about who your kid was, what school they were, what chats she was in. Some oil company wouldn't know that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>You're absolutely right. An oil company would just send a cease and desist, or try to get me fired from whatever freelance gig I'm on. They wouldn't know what group chat might Daufer's in. They wouldn't know her schedule well enough to time it so it hits, during the school day. That's someone who knows her world.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it must be, or a really, really twisted fuck that you really pissed off, and I think you would know who that was if there was that person. So it sounds more to me like it's her that is the target of this, and not you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TRAVIS</span><p>Yeah, I think you're right. And now I'm sitting here in my dark room at midnight, feeling like an idiot, because I made this whole thing about me, about my work, my reputation, who I've pissed off over pipeline photos. Meanwhile, my kids getting targeted by some psycho 17-year-old with editing software, and I didn't even see it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I have that conversation, see what it's about. There's probably nothing you can do about the video if it's already circulating, but luckily it's circulating in a small, contained space, and it's not going to be remembered. Nobody's going to hold on to that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>Oh, hey, Luke. Yeah. I'm good, man. Little wired, honestly. So listen, my best friend Miguel keeps asking me to move to Tucson with him, get a place together, and I keep making up excuses, but the real reason I won't do it is I think I might be in love with him and I have no idea what to do about that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what makes you think he's not in love with you if he's asking you to move in with him?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>Oh man, I don't see. That's the thing that's been driving me crazy. Like, he says it's practical, right? Split rent? We've always talked about doing that food truck thing. He's got connections with the school district down there. But then, like, last Christmas, we were both pretty drunk, and he looked at me in this way that I don't know, Luke. Maybe I'm reading into it because I want to see it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Is he gay?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>I honestly don't know. He's never dated anyone seriously that I know of. Like, in high school, there were girls he'd hook up with at parties, but nothing ever stuck. And since then, nothing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if he's your best friend and he's asking you to move in and you share that level of trust, it's going to be an awkward conversation, but I think you should ask.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>Yeah, yeah, I know you're right. It's just, God, what if I'm completely wrong? What if he And then I lose him entirely.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, then he wasn't a very good friend to begin with.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>I mean, that's fair. We've been through a lot of shit together. He was there when my dad died. I helped him through his mom's cancer scare.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you want to live with him?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>Yeah, I really do. Like, I've been thinking about it constantly. What our kitchen would look like. Who'd take which bedroom? Stupid stuff like making coffee together in the morning. And that food truck idea?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if you're in love with the dude, I wouldn't move in with him without having that conversation first, because that could get real, real awkward. And then you've moved in, your stuff is there, just is much messier than to deal with that right out of the gate, you know? So talk to your buddy. Ask him like, hey, you into dudes?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>Oh, God, just like that? Hey, Miguel, quick question before I pack up my life. You into dudes? You're right, though. I can't do this halfway. I've been sitting here in my bathroom with the shower running hot for like an hour trying to figure out how to text him back. And I keep typing, yes, let's do it, and then deleting it because I'm terrified of what happens after.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I think you got to talk to him first and have the awkward conversation. And one way or another, that'll tell you how to proceed. Because what happens if you have that conversation with him and you say, hey, I have feelings for you? I think it would be weird if we were living together and you didn't share those feelings. What if he's not gay? And he does say, no, I'm not gay, but I'd still like to live with you. Could you deal with that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>No, no, I really couldn't. That's the thing that's been eating at me. If I tell him and he doesn't feel the same way, I don't think I could just go back to normal. Like, watching him date women, being his roommate while I'm still feeling this way, that sounds like actual torture.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, then it sounds like you can just flat out, say, No, I don't think it's the right time for that and blow that request off. Or you can sit down and have the hard conversation.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>The hard conversation. Jesus. Okay. Okay. So what do I even say? Do I lead with, I think I might be in love with you? Or do I ease into it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know. You're the one that has this problem. Don't put this shit on me. I have no idea. That's not how I I would approach it. What I would, I would just ask him straight out if he was gay.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>You're right. You're right. I'm overthinking it. Just, are you gay or maybe, are you into guys? God, even saying it out loud makes my stomach flip. The worst part is there have been these moments.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you already suspect that he might be gay and kind of into you. So there, there's probably something there. And also, So a dude asking another dude to move in with him is pretty gay. So you're not completely out of line in that line of questioning.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>Okay, that's fair. Yeah. Straight guys don't usually text their buddy at midnight about splitting rent and building a life together. And last Christmas, man, we were both drunk and he said something about how I was the only person who really got him. And the way he looked at me...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep. So just bring it up, be direct, ask him the question. You don't have to make it weird. It It doesn't have to be, well, it's a little bit weird no matter what, but it doesn't have to be super weird. Just ask him, and if he gets all butt hurt and doesn't want to talk to you anymore, then that sucks and you lose a friend, but better to know that now than when you're sleeping in the room next to him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>You're absolutely right. Better to blow it up now from 400 miles away than after I've quit my route and signed a lease. All right, I'm going to call him tomorrow, not text, call.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, give us a call back when you have more news. Let us know how it went, okay?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NORM</span><p>Yeah, I will. Thanks, Luke. Seriously. I've been sitting on this for two years, and I think I just needed someone to tell me to stop being a coward about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, well, that's a tough thing, an awkward conversation that I can understand nobody would want to have. So good luck to you. I hope it works out in your favor, whichever way that is. And now it's time for a number. Another word from our sponsors. Let's talk about what's going on below the belt. Saddle Soft premium undergarments are made for fabrics so advanced, the military doesn't even know about it yet. We're talking about micromodal cactus silk, harvested by hand from prickly pear, which is ironic because the whole point is that nothing pricks you. Every pair is cut for the man who sits in a plastic chair in the desert for nine hours recording a podcast. That's a real use case. That's my use case. use case. Saddlesoft comes in three fits. Regular, generous, and mind your business. Use code Roost at checkout for 15% off your first pair. And no, I will not be modeling them. I've been asked. The answer is still no. Saddle soft. Your chair is uncomfortable enough.! Okay, Megan. Megan, are you the same caller that called in a few days ago?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>Yeah, that's me. The kindergarten teacher from down in the booth heel. I've called in a couple times now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I remember you. You really flipped my opinion on kindergarten teachers.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>Oh, God, the footskin thing. Look, I knew that was going to follow me. My friend Tammy still won't let me live it down.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, Jesus, you're the footskin chick. No, I was talking about when you were telling me how important the role of the and teacher is in teaching kids how to learn for the rest of their learning careers. I forgot about the foot skin picking thing. That is, that's gross.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>Oh, yeah, well, I mean, both things are true. I can shape young minds and have disgusting habits.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, you can. It is a free country. So what are you calling in for tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>So my sister Crystal, the one up in Flagstaff I told you about, She called me yesterday and she's moving back to Missouri. Like next month. Just decided.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. And how do you feel about that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>Honestly, I'm pissed. She spent seven years up there complaining about how there's nothing to do in the boutique. How she needed the mountains, needed to be somewhere with culture, all that. And now she's coming back because, and this is the part that's killing me, she says she misses family.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why is that killing you. She's obviously got family in Missouri.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>Because I've been here the whole time, Luke. I drive up to see my brother Ray every other week to make sure he's not completely falling apart. I check on mom. I'm the one who stayed. And Crystal gets to sworn off to Arizona, ignore everybody for years, and then just decide she misses us?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, would you rather she doesn't decide to miss you and she stays in Arizona where she doesn't want to be and doesn't get see any of you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>No, I look. That's not the point. The point is she gets to just make these big sweeping decisions. I'm leaving, I'm coming back, I miss family now, and I'm supposed to what, just be happy about it, roll out the welcome wagon?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's not that she gets to make decisions, it's that she does make decisions. You can make decisions too.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>Okay, but no but seriously. It's not the same. doesn't have a classroom full of kids depending on her. She works remote doing graphic design. She can just pick up and go wherever. I can just leave in the middle of a school year because I feel like it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You absolutely can leave in the middle of a school year because you feel like it. What you do at work is your job and you can change your job at any point for any reason. So if you wanted to make those big sweeping decisions in your life, you could absolutely do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FLOYD</span><p>Oh, man. Okay, so this is going to sound insane, but I need you to tell me if I'm losing my mind. I'm at a rest stop outside Deming right now. And about 20 minutes ago, I was eating peanuts from the gas station, and I tasted the exit sign. I literally tasted green metal in my mouth when I looked at it. And now I can't stop thinking about whether my brain is breaking or if this has always been happening and I just never noticed.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What does green taste like?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FLOYD</span><p>Like, okay, so it's this sharp metallic thing, almost like if you licked a chain link fence, but with this weird brightness to it. And it's specifically that highway sign green. Not like like grass green or anything. Of course. The peanuts were fine. And then I glanced up at the exit sign. And suddenly my mouth had this taste that matched the color exactly. And the fluorescent lights in the bathroom, those have a taste too. Kind of burnt coffee mixed with static electricity. I know how this sounds, Luke. I really do. But it's so specific that I can't shake it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Are you under the influence of any drugs at the moment?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FLOYD</span><p>No. I'm stone cold sober. I'm driving a route to El Paso. I've got a delivery at 3 a.m. I don't even drink coffee afternoon because it messes with my sleep. That's what's freaking me out. If I was high or hadn't slept in two days, I'd be like, okay, yeah, that tracks. But I'm just driving, doing my normal thing, and suddenly colors have flavors. And I'm sitting in a truck stop parking lot, wondering if I'm having a stroke or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that doesn't sound right to me. Has this ever happened to you before?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FLOYD</span><p>Never. Not once in 36 years. That's why I'm calling my girlfriend Diane. She texted me this article this afternoon about synesthesia, you know, where people's senses get crossed and they see sounds as colors or whatever. And I read it while I was waiting to load up in Tucson and thought it was interesting but didn't think anything of it. Then tonight this happens. And now I'm like, did reading about it make my brain do it? Can that even happen?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think that can happen. It's like a placebo effect type thing. I don't know. It sounds like it could be a placebo from what you've read and what you've been thinking about, and it could also be a severe neurological disorder. So maybe you should talk to a clinic and ask them if that's a symptom of a bigger problem or nothing to be concerned about. Because I don't know. That's a weird one.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FLOYD</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I should. The thing is is, I'm supposed to be in El Paso in like four hours, and I've been sitting here for half an hour just staring at my odometer, trying to figure out if the number seven feels smug to me. Like, does that sound crazy? I'm looking at numbers and assigning them personalities now.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, that one's absolutely correct. The number seven is absolutely smug.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you're right about that, but the tasting green street signs is a bit odd, and maybe something that you want to get checked out.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Okay, see, that makes me feel a little better. Wait, no, it doesn't. Because now I don't know if you're messing with me or if seven actually is smug. And I've just been noticing things that were always there. God, this is making my head hurt. Should I even be driving right now?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you should probably not be driving right now. You should get to a clinic and see what's up with that, because it doesn't sound like you're in a stable state, and you might be on the brink of a psychotic break.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>A psychotic break. Break? Jesus. Luke, I called for some reassurance here, not to get told I'm losing my mind. I mean, okay, you might be right.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I can't reassure you that what you're saying is normal behavior because it's not. I've never heard of that before. And unless you're under the influence of some strong psychedelics, I don't know that that that's a good thing. It sounds like brain issue. So I'm not saying that it's a is a brain issue. I'm saying that you should get that checked and maybe stay off the road.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>All right. All right. There's a hospital endemming. I passed the sign like 10 miles back. I can turn around. My dispatcher's going to be pissed. This delivery is time sensitive. It's refrigerated pharmaceuticals. But you're right. If I'm actually having some kind of neurological event, I shouldn't be piloting a 40-foot truck down the interstate at midnight. It's just, man. I feel fine otherwise. Like physically, I feel completely normal.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you felt abnormal enough to call a radio show about it, so that's a good sign. But you should get it checked out. That's the responsible thing to do. And you don't want to hurt anybody because you ignored a symptom of a serious issue.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. I just, God, Diane's going to freak out when I tell her.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that might be one you don't tell her.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>What? You think I should just show up to a hospital by myself at midnight and not tell my wife I might be having a stroke or whatever? Come on, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, that is what I think. I think you should show up at the hospital, ask them if it's a thing. And if they say it's not a thing, carry on with your day. If they say it is a thing, then have the conversation with your wife. Because what's not going to go well is a call to your wife saying that you taste the green street sign when you eat peanuts.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Okay, when you put it like that, yeah, that does sound insane. She already thinks I'm a hypochondriac because of that whole thing with the mole last year that turned out to be nothing. If I call her at midnight saying I'm tasting colors, she's going to think I've completely lost it. But what do I even tell the ER?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You tell the ER that you're tasting colors and you think that's strange and you want to know if that's a symptom of a known issue.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Right. Okay. Yeah. I can do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, you do that, buddy, and let us know how it goes, because that is the weirdest call that we've ever had. So congratulations. Hold on. Let me find one for you. We're going to give you, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. All right. Well done. You have the trophy right now, and hopefully someday soon we'll get a weirder call, and then they will snatch that trophy from you. But good luck with your story. street sign mouth, and I wish you the best of luck. Everybody, this has been another great episode of Luke at the Roost, and we hope you enjoy the remainder of your evening.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 17: Quantum Chaos and Cosmic Dust</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-20T09:40:45+00:00">February 20, 2026</time> · 54 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Luke takes calls from distressed listeners dealing with relationship troubles, existential crises, and ethical dilemmas. Callers include Mitch, Tamika, and Marlene, who grapple with quantum physics, the great attractor, and HOA drama. The episode culminates with Amber, a 911 dispatcher, considering whether to report a hit-and-run by her church's youth pastor.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back. It's early Friday morning. This is supposed to be Thursday night, but I got distracted, so sue me. This is Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call-in radio show where you can call in and ask me about what's on your mind. The number, if you'd like to call, is 208-439. 5853. That's 208-439 Luke. gonna take some calls because that's what we do. So first up on the line here we have Mitch. Mitch welcome to the show. What are you calling in for tonight?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Hey Luke, thanks for taking the call. So I'm sitting here in my garage at midnight watching a YouTube video about quantum physics and I think it might be ruining my marriage.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well you know if we're all being honest quantum physics is ruining everything. Right?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>No, that particles exist in like all possible states at once until somebody looks at them and then they just pick one. And I can't stop thinking about how that's exactly what happened with me and my wife tonight. We had this huge fight about whether to loan my brother money for a food truck. And it's like we were both existing in all these different versions of the argument until we actually had it. And now we're locked into this one where she thinks I'm an idiot and I'm hiding in the garage eating crackers.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well if you're thinking about giving your brother money for a food truck, you probably are an idiot. Why is everybody want a food truck these days? Everybody's got a brother that's trying to start a food truck. You have a different idea. Jesus. There's enough.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Oh man, I know. But here's the thing. Darrell's actually a really good cook, like legitimately good. He did this pop-up thing at a brewery last summer and sold out in two hours.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Was it a fusion?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>No, thank God. It's barbecue. Proper barbecue. He's been working on his brisket for like three years. But yeah, Angie says he's a burnout because he's had like four different jobs in the last two years. And I get it, but I also think, I don't know, man. Maybe he just hasn't found his thing yet. He's 32.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, I have a couple of questions. Has he asked you for money before for other ideas?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Yeah, twice. There was this landscaping company thing that lasted like six months, houses, which yeah, that one didn't even get off the ground. But Luke, the barbecue thing is different.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and it might be different. And my next question is, do you have the money to lend him?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>I mean, we have it. We've got like 15 grand saved up that was supposed to be for redoing the kitchen. Angie's been planning that for two years.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, your brother wants to start a food truck. He's 32 years old, and you've already given him money for two failed businesses. Your wife wants to redo the kitchen. You've been saving money for that. So no. I mean, my advice is don't give your brother the money. That's insane.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Yeah, but see, that's the thing. I didn't actually give him money those other times. I just told him I would, and then Angie talked me out of it both times. And now he's got this whole business plan printed out. He's got a truck lined up. He just needs 12 grand for the equipment and permits and wrapping it. And I keep thinking, like, what if this is actually the one?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe it is, but it's not your one. It's your brother's one. And first of all, are you sure that you would get your money back? That's an important bit. And also, anybody can put a business together, put a business plan together in like 36 seconds with ChatGBTBT today. And it doesn't really take a lot of effort or foresight to look for a vehicle on Facebook Marketplace. So it's not like he's done a whole lot of work here to get started. I wouldn't give him the money.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>I mean, you're probably right. It's just, God, you should see him when he talks about it. He gets this look like he actually believes in something for once. And I keep thinking about that quantum physics thing. Like maybe he's in this state where he could be successful or he could fail, but until someone actually gives him a shot, we'll never know which one he is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, that's not how it works, sir. Particles are in a state of superposition until somebody measures them. that's not giving them a chance, right? So he could be in a state of failure and success until you see which one he does. That doesn't require you giving him money.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Okay, fair. That's... Yeah, that's fair. I guess I'm trying to make physics justify me wanting to help my little brother. But here's what really gets me. Angie said something last night that I can't stop thinking about. She said, you're not trying to save Daryl. You're trying to prove something to your dad. four years, so that really messed me up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Did it mess you up because you know that it's true?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Yeah, yeah, it did. Because my dad always said Daryl would never amount to anything, and I always defended him. Like every Sunday dinner, it was the same thing. Dad would go off about how Daryl was wasting his potential, and I'd be the one saying, give him time, he just needs to find his thing. And now Dad's gone, and Daryl's still, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's been 32 years. So Darrell's had ample opportunity to make something happen. And maybe now's the time. I'm not saying that he can't make a food truck happen. I'm just saying it's not your responsibility to buy that for him. And your wife clearly doesn't want you to. And it's more important that you support her than you support him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. It's just going to kill me to tell him no.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, he's going to have to learn some things to be successful about business and about life and about fundraising. suggestion to you would be to help him raise the money himself and be proud and have something to lose in this business that isn't yours.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Huh, that's actually that might work. Like help him figure out how to pitch investors or do a Kickstarter or something. So he's got some skin in the game because you're right. If it's my 12 grand, what does he have to lose?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah man, that's an awful expensive rack</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Ha, yeah, exactly. Man, Angie's going to be relieved. I've been avoiding going back inside because I didn't want to keep fighting about it. Maybe I should actually go tell her you talk some sense into me before she wakes up still mad.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, sir, you go do that. You have a wonderful night, and congratulations for reclaiming the marriage and keeping the wife happy. That's always a good thing to do. And don't give your brother the money. Help him out where you can, but make him do the work.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>I appreciate it, Luke. Seriously. I was sitting out here in my garage eating crackers and spiraling. And you just, yeah.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, buddy, well, you enjoy your crackers and stay out of trouble, okay? Next up on the line we have Tamika. Tamika, welcome to the radio show. How are you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Oh, man, I'm kind of losing my mind a little bit, Luke. I just spent the last three hours reading about the great attractor. And I can't stop thinking about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, then tell me about the great attractor.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Okay, so it's this massive gravitational anomaly out in space that we can't even see because it's behind the Milky Way, but it's pulling our entire galaxy toward it at like 600 kilometers per. Everything. The sun, the Earth, all of it, is just being dragged toward this thing that's so big and so far away, we don't even know what it is. And I'm sitting here in the office at the Galaxy Diner at midnight trying to close out the register. And I just keep thinking, how does anybody just go about their day knowing this?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, like you said, we don't know. We don't know it. We don't know what it is. We don't know what it's doing or why. And it's too far away for us to see. So everybody's going about their life because there's nothing we can do about it. And we don't know and probably will never know what it is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>But that's what's getting me, though. Like, we do know it's there. Scientists know it's there. They can measure it. They can see what it's doing to us. We just can't see the thing itself.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>And yeah, there's nothing we can do about it. But doesn't that make it worse? Like, I'm supposed to go home, and my mom's asleep in front of the TV with her pill organizer on the counter. And I'm going to wake up tomorrow and flip the diner sign back on. And meanwhile, the entire galaxy is just... Just moving, just moving and not affecting your life in any way.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But there are things that we're we know exist and they're called black holes and they do exactly that. So it wouldn't be surprising to learn that the great attractor is giant black hole that we can't see.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Okay, but see, that's even worse because black holes, we at least understand the concept. They're a thing. They eat stuff, whatever. But this is different.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How is it different? It could be exactly a black hole. It could just be a thing that eats stuff.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>But it's not eating us though. It's just pulling us. For Bill, millions of years. We've been moving toward this thing our whole lives. Everyone who's ever lived has been moving toward it. And we just found out about it in like the 1970s. And I guess what's really messing me up is, what else is like that? What else is just happening to us that we can't see and can't do anything about? And we're just supposed to act like it's fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it is fine. And lots of things are acting on us that we can't see every day. And we know that. And think about it. like an ear of corn on your plate, right? So you've got this nice dinner. You've got an ear of corn there. You can't eat that ear of corn until you've pulled it towards yourself. So it could very well just be a faraway black hole pulling us towards itself on its way to eat us.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Oh, great. So we're dinner. That's really comforting, Luke. No, but okay. I hear what you're saying. Things are always acting on us we can't see. Gravity, radiation, whatever. But those things we learned about in school, you know? We grew up knowing about them.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, we also grew up knowing about the food pyramid in school. And I don't know if you've heard about that lately, but it's completely different now because it's bullshit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Exactly. See, that's what I'm saying. They told us for decades to eat a certain way. And it turns out it was completely wrong. And now we're finding out our entire galaxy is being pulled towards something we can't identify. And like, what are? What else are they going to tell us in 20 years that completely changes everything we thought we knew?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Tons of stuff, but the point is, at the end of the day, it doesn't really affect your life. It's not going to pull us anywhere in our lifetimes. We're talking about billions of years out into the future. We'll have killed ourselves off long before then. We're almost there already.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Okay, but that's not making me feel better. You're basically saying, don't worry about the great attractor because we'll probably nuke ourselves. first. Like, is that supposed to help me close out the register and go home? And I don't know. Maybe it's not even really about the great attractor. Maybe it's about...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm saying, don't worry about the great attractor, because it's not going to pose a threat for billions of years, and we're all going to be dead one way or another. And the entire human race is almost certainly going to be dead before then. So what is it about to you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>It's that I can't stop thinking about my mom. She's asleep right now in front of the TV with her pill organizer on the counter, and tomorrow she's going to wake up and make coffee and ask me if I remembered to defrost the chicken. And meanwhile, we're hurtling through space toward this massive invisible thing, and she has no idea, and it doesn't matter, because what matters to her is whether I defrosted the chicken. And I'm supposed to just do that? Just go home and defrost chicken and pay the electric bill and show up for my shifts while knowing that none of it means anything in the grand scheme.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is correct. That's exactly what you're supposed to do because you're going to have to eat tomorrow and chicken is tasty. So I would recommend that you defrost the chicken and help your mom out. And don't worry about what's going to happen to the fate of the planet a billion years from now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>But how do you just do that? How do you just decide that the small stuff matters when you know it doesn't? Like, I'm standing here in this restaurant office at 12. 12.30 in the morning, counting 20s, and making sure the drawer balances, and part of me knows that's important because rent is due, and my mom needs her prescriptions. But the other part of me is like, why are we pretending any of this is real?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is 100% the reason we're pretending. We know it's not real. Everything that we see and touch and smell, it's all a interpretation by our brains. We know that it's not reality. Like, that's not even a question. But we do it anyway. and we care about things like de-frosting the chicken because we get hungry and we need to eat.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Oh, God, you're right. I sound insane. I'm having an existential crisis over Wikipedia at midnight when I should just be going home. It's just, I think I've been feeling this way for a while, and the great-att-tractor thing just gave me something to pin it on, you know? Like, my mom's getting older and I'm working the same job I had in college, and I keep thinking, when does the real part start? And maybe it never does.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It starts when you decide it does. It starts when you decide, you know, what is important to you and your time here on this earth. And maybe it's figuring out deep secrets of the cosmos and putting your hat in the ring of academia. Who knows what that is to you? But I think the reason to be here is to enjoy the moments that you have here as much as you can and watch the universe do what it does. the opportunity to have been on this planet before it was eaten.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I think I needed to hear that. I've been so stuck in my head about what I'm supposed to be doing that I forgot to just be here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Be here now. That's what our friend Ram Dass always said. And if you're looking for some meaning in your life beyond no meaning at all, maybe look up what Mr. Richard Albert had said. say because it was pretty interesting too.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>I will. I'm going to write that down. Ram Dass, write, be here now. That's actually perfect because I've literally been everywhere except here for the past three hours.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I think if you listen to most any sort of self-help spiritual guru, they're going to tell you in different words that same thing. It's to focus on the most moment in front of you because that's the only one that you have. It's the only one that matters. That's the point. So if you're worried about what's going to happen a billion years from now, then you're missing what's happening now.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>You're right. God, I'm going to go home and defrost that chicken and maybe actually sit with my mom tomorrow instead of scrolling through my phone while she watches her shows. Thank you, Luke. I really needed this tonight.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Not a problem there. that's what I do. And good luck not getting eaten by the great attractor. I believe in you. I think you can, I think you're going to make it. And now we have to, I'm sorry, but we have to take a word from our sponsors. Ladies and gentlemen, this episode of the radio show is brought to you by mediocre CPAP. The makers of the CPAP machine that technically works, not life-changing, not transformative, It works in the way a lot of modern products work. If you've never used a CPAP, here's the pitch. You strap on a face mask and let a small plastic appliance try to keep you alive at night. It's romantic. It's like sleeping next to a tiny leaf blower. Mediocre is fine. And that's not an insult. That's honest. It's the device that turns, I sleep like garbage into... I kind of slept like garbage. Half the night it's like, pst. Pst. Because the seal isn't perfect.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And now you're doing arts and crafts at two in the night, trying to tighten straps like you're securing cargo. Then the humidifier runs out and the machine starts blowing desert air directly into your skull. Great. Love waking up with a throat that feels like it's been sanded with a belt sander. And yes, there's an app. Of course there's an app. It gives you a sleep score like this is a game show. But here's what I'll say. When it's dialed in, when it's not leaking, squealing, or drying you out, It does help. It's not a miracle. It's a plastic compromise that keeps you from waking up, feeling like you got punched by your own biology. Use code breathe for 15% off. Mediocre CPAP. Not perfect. Not elegant. Just trying. A very special thanks to Mediocre CPAP for sponsoring this segment of the show. And next up on the radio show, we have Rodney. Rodney, what's happening? What are you calling in for?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Hey, Luke. So, my wife's sister told me at Thanksgiving that Marie deserves better than a guy who still works with his hands at 57. And I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. Three weeks now.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you should be grateful that you can still work with your hands at 57, sir.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Yeah, I mean, I am. I've been doing electrical work for 34 years. I'm good at it. But the way she said it, Luke, like I'd failed somehow.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, she's a bitch, and she's probably not working with her hands or working with anything, and she's probably going to die at 62. Well, you enjoy a long, happy, healthy life because you've remained active, and you're working with your hands.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Jesus, Luke. I mean, you're not wrong. She works in HR for some insurance company, spends all day at a desk. But here, Here's the thing that's eating at me. Marie didn't defend me. She just stood there. And ever since then, she's been...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>She's been what? Because an electrician is not a, um, it's a pretty respectable trade. I think most people, um, it's not a trade that's looked down on generally.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>No, you're right. It's not. I make decent money. We're fine. But Marie's been different since then.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, have you talked to her about it? Because it could be something completely different.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>That's the thing. I haven't. I've been pulling overtime all week on this hospital job down in Lordsburg. Just staying away, I guess.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Yeah, there is that big hospital in Lordsburg. So I guess you're going to be busy for a while.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Lordsburg, yeah. Should wrap up in another week or two. But I come home tonight and she's already in bed at 9.30. Didn't even kiss me good night, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe she's dealing with a little bit of depression, or there's something going on in her life that she needs your support for.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>You think that's it? I mean, her mom's been having some health issues. Nothing serious. But Marie's been driving over there a lot more. And I've been so wrapped up in my own head about this, about what her sister said about feeling like I'm not enough, that I haven't even asked her what's going on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I would recommend you do that, and if she's spending more time going to go. going over to her mom's house and talking to her sister about you and not defending you in public, there might be something going on there, and it probably has nothing to do with your profession.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Oh, God. You think she's been talking to her sister about me? That whole family. They get together and it's like this echo chamber. Her sister plants one seed.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And look, you're right. Hey, man, I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just saying that's a pattern of behavior that would make me her intentions.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>No, I hear you. And honestly, that's what's been eating at me. It's not even what her sister said. If that Marie just stood there, didn't say a word. And now, she won't look at me the same way.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, she can't look at you the same way if you're pulling overnighters and not coming home and she's tired. So I recommend you talk to your wife and find out what's going on. And if something needs to change or you need to talk to somebody or what the deal is. but don't just ignore the situation. It's obviously a thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>You're right. I've been hiding at work instead of dealing with it. I'll talk to her tomorrow morning. Just straight up ask her what's going on, what she needs for me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Good. That's what you should do. And I hope it all works out for you. And it's nothing serious. I'm sure everything's explainable. But if not, it's not. You know, just do the best you can. And sometimes things don't work out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RODNEY</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate it, Luke. I needed to hear that. I've just been sitting here drinking a beer on the bathroom floor. Feeling sorry for myself when I should have been having this conversation with her weeks ago.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, sir, that is correct. So go have that conversation with your wife. Good luck. And I hope you get that hospital in Lordsburg finished because that'd be great. So next up to the show, next up, we have Marlene. Marlene, welcome to the radio show. What's eating you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Oh man. Okay, so I just got slapped with a $500 fine because my front door is the wrong shade of beige. I'm not kidding. My HOA sent me a violation notice today saying my door color doesn't match the approved palette. It's beige, Luke. It's B-E-I-G.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>B-E-I-G-E-I-G-E?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Yeah, beige is gross, and it's clearly not on the approved palette.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Did you look at the approved palette before you decided to paint your house? when you knew that you were in an HOA?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Okay, yes. Technically, I looked at it. But here's the thing. I had like 40 swatches of beige that all looked identical. My husband David was standing there going, they're all the same. The guy at the paint store was like, yeah, these are basically the same. And I picked one called Desert Sand. Because we live in the actual desert and it seemed fine. But apparently it's two shades too warm, and now Karen's somebody. on the architectural review committee is acting like I spray-painted obscenities on my garage door. I teach kindergarten, Luke. I spend all day with five-year-olds, and at least they have reasonable rules.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you live in an HOA area. They never have reasonable rules. There's always a caring somebody that's complaining about what everybody else is doing. You know what my brother would do? I want to give you the advice that my brother would do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>What? What would your brother? do because right now I'm sitting here in my kitchen at midnight drinking wine and staring at this violation notice like it's a ransom letter. So I'm open to suggestions.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He would comb through that HOA, the agreements there, and look through the approved colors. And then he would either do the worst paint job possible that was still within the rules, or he would actually just paint obscenities all over everything.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Oh my God, I love your brother. No, but seriously. I've actually thought about this. Like, what if I just went full malicious compliance? Paint the door the exact approved beige but then plant the ugliest legally allowed lawn ornaments I can find. Pink flamingos are probably banned. But what about garden gnomes? There's got to be a loophole somewhere in that binder. The thing is, though, Luke, it's not even really about the door anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, there is a loophole. There is absolutely a loophole. And, uh, yeah, I think that's what you should do. You're going to have to pay a $500 fine. You might as well get a good laugh out of it. So what it's not about the door anymore? What's it about now? That you live in an HOA and you don't want to and you want the freedom of not living in an HOA? Then move.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>No, it's God, you're right that I hate the HOA, but it's that David thinks I'm being dramatic. He came home, looked at the notice, and was like, just repaint it, Marlene. It's not a big deal. Not a big deal! We've lived here for 18 years. 18 years of me following every stupid rule, mowing the lawn to the exact height, keeping my trash cans hidden, and the one time I pick a beige that's slightly off, I get fined like I'm running a meth lab.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>And he just, he doesn't get why I'm so pissed. He thinks I'm overreacting, which is what he always thinks, and I'm sitting here feeling crazy because maybe a normal person would just repaid the door and move on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm with you. I wouldn't repeat. I might eventually, but I would definitely make it more of a pain in the ass than it was worth to somebody for the inconvenience. And I would turn it into something fun by, but would you call it malicious compliance? I like that. It sounds like a punk band.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Right. Malicious compliance opening for the violations at the HOA Community Center. But yeah, that's exactly it. I want to make this FUN and feeling like a scolded child. I deal with actual children all day. I don't need my neighbors treating me like one. But here's what's really getting me. And I heard Tamika earlier talking about the great attractor thing. I know this is going to sound weird, but I think she was looking at it backwards. She was like, why does anything matter if we're all just cosmic dust?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I also think the oposite. I'm with you on this one, because if we're, just cosmic dust and we are, then we are everything. And that is empowering in a way, and it's beautiful in a way, and it relieves some of the nonsense of the world that we get caught up in. And the importance that we put on those things that she kept saying were not real. So, um, so yeah, I'm totally with you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Yes, exactly. Like, if we're all just atoms that used to be stars, Then why am I letting some committee member named Karen make me feel small over B-E-A-I? That's what I'm sitting here realizing. I've spent 18 years making myself smaller to fit into these stupid rules. And for what? So my neighbors don't complain? I teach 23 kids every year to be brave and use their voices and stand up for themselves. And then I come home and I'm worried about paint swatches.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How do you spell beige?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>B-E-E-I-I. Why, you going to look up the HOA approved shades yourself? But seriously, Luke, I think that's what's really eating at me. It's not just David thinking I'm dramatic. It's that maybe he's right that I've been dramatic about small stuff for so long that now when I'm actually upset about something real, about feeling like I don't have a voice in my own life. He just sees it as more of the same. Like I've cried Wolf too many times about stupid things, and now when I'm actually drowning, he's just like, There goes Marlene again.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, that is being dramatic. You're not drowning because they asked you to repaint your door. That's a bit much. I am with you in that I would also be infuriated, but I would not agree to the terms of an HOA either. You made that decision when you bought the house, and you've been there long enough to know the rules. So next time, you'll not do that. And this time it costs you $500. And you're just going to have to deal with that and move on and if it pisses you off this much, then leave the HOA. Sell your house and find some place where you have more ability to do what you want.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Okay, yeah, you're right. Drowning was dramatic. See, this is what I do. But Luke, we can't just sell. David's got his workshop in the garage. All his tools set up exactly how he likes them.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, let me tell you this. David would love to move and have a new garage to set up exactly the way he likes it. Um, so that's not an issue.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Oh, God, you're totally right. He'd love that. He complains about that garage all the time. Says it's too small, the electrical's weird.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there you go. You got a couple of options here. You can paint the door, you can move. Uh, or you can be maliciously compliant. Those are your options. Pick one of them and move on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Okay, so here's what I'm thinking. And tell me if this is insane. I paint the door the exact approved beige, right? But then I plant the most aggressively colorful, technically allowed by the bylaws flower garden you've ever seen. Like, I'm talking, sunflowers, zinias. Those bright orange California puppies.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I'd go with cannabis myself, but you've got to follow the rules. So learn what those rules are and then exploit them to the best of your ability.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Oh my God, Luke, I teach kindergarten in the front yard. But yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about. I need to actually read those bylaws instead of just being scared of them. I bet there's all kinds of stuff they can't regulate. What about garden gnomes?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why do you teach kindergarten in your front yard?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>What? No, I'm saying I can't grow cannabis because I'm a kindergarten teacher. Like, that's my job. Parents strive by my house. Can you imagine? Oh, look, there's Miss Marlene's house with the weed plants. I'd be fired, before the first harvest.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but you'd probably be less dramatic about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Okay, ouch. But fair. You know what?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>You're right. I'm being dramatic about the beige. Like, it's just paint. I could fix this tomorrow for 40 bucks in a Saturday morning, but instead I'm sitting here at midnight in my underwear, drinking wine and plotting revenge gardens like I'm some kind of HOA freedom fighter. David's going to wake up and I'm going to wake up, and I'm going to be a day be out there measuring the exact legal height for a flagpole or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What color are the underwear?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Are you serious right now? They're gray, Luke. Old gray underwear and my husband's work shirt. This is what peak rebellion looks like at 47. But okay, real talk. Why does this bother me so much? Like you're right that I'm being ridiculous. But I'm furious about this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I would be furious about it too. Unreasonably furious. And I think it's because it's somebody that's trying to control your life in a manner that's unreasonable. And it is unreasonable. But those are the rules that you agreed to. And you knew that well before you moved in. So it's on you to fix it. But I understand why you're furious. It's because you're losing some agency there. It's your house. You pay for it. You pay a lot for it. You pay the taxes on it. And then they tell you what color you can paint your door. That is infuriating. So you're justified in that, but you also have to just deal with it and move on or change the situation.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, you're nailing it. It's the control thing. And honestly, I think it's bigger than just the HOA. I spend all day at school following district policies. What I can teach, how I can teach it. What words I can say to a kid who's melting down.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and I feel for you in both respects. because when somebody tells you what to do, I don't know. I don't like that very much at all. And I will lash out at anybody that tries it. So I understand. But you got to follow the rules or pay the fine or both. Or move.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Which is what David keeps saying and I keep shutting him down because I don't want to admit he's right. He's been wanting to get out of here for two years. He says we should buy something with actual land. No HOA. Maybe closer to his sister in Prescott. And I'm the one who keeps saying no because I'm 10 minutes from my school. I know all the neighbors. We have the grocery store right there. But God, Luke, what if I'm just staying because I'm scared?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you just told me five minutes ago that you were staying because David had his tools in the garage the way he liked him. So what's the deal? Are you staying because you want to stay or are you staying because he wants to stay? Now I'm annoyed because you're lying to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I was defamation. Reflecting with the David thing because, Jesus, this is embarrassing. I think I'm staying because if we move out to Prescott or wherever, I won't have an excuse anymore. Like right now I can say I'm busy, I'm tired. A commute would kill me. I've got my classroom set up just right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>An excuse for what? You wouldn't have an excuse for what anymore? Why would you say you're busy or you're tired because you moved to Prescott?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Because my mom's in Scottsdale.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>She's been asking me to visit more. Help her more. She's got early stage Parkinson's. And my sister Jennifer lives in California. So it's on me. And right now, I can say, mom, I'm 40 minutes away. I've got school in the morning. It's too much. But if we're in Prescott? How far is Scottsdale from Prescott? Hour and a half. Maybe two, depending on trying. So it's actually farther, which sounds like it would give me more of an excuse, but, oh God, you're going to call me out on this. If we move, David's going to say, well, now you don't have the HOA stress, you don't have the commute, you've got all this free time, why don't you go help your mom more? And he'd be right. And I don't want to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, why don't you want to?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Because she wasn't there for me. When I was growing up, she was always always working, always stressed, always telling me I was too much, too loud, too messy, too needy. Jennifer was the easy one, the pretty one who didn't ask for anything. And now mom needs me. And I just, I don't want to give her what she never gave me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I know that's petty. It's a little bit petty, but it kind of makes sense. I see how you got there. And maybe you don't want to give her. Maybe she was an awful mom that doesn't deserve it your help for all I know, but you're probably going to beat yourself up for the rest of your life if you don't make an attempt while she's still around because Parkinson's is not a thing that goes away.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>You're right. And that's what keeps me up at night, Luke, because I know, I know, I know, in five years, 10 years. When she's worse or she's gone, I'm going to hate myself for hiding behind a stupid HOA and beige paint. Jennifer's going to fly in for the funeral. And I'm going to be the daughter who lived in Arizona the whole time and couldn't be bothered.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, how deep is she into the Parkinson's? What are her symptoms right now? And does she have anybody else around in the house that is taken care of her?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>She's still living alone. That's part of what scares me. The tremors are mostly in her left hand. Some balance issues. She fell getting out of the shower two months ago. Nothing broken, but she didn't tell me for a week. Her neighbor mentioned it. She's got a cleaning lady twice a week and Jennifer sends money for a meal service. But no one's actually there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, even if she was a bitch and you can, you should make some attempt to help her out where possible. Obviously, that can't take over your life. A lot of people go pretty far in the other direction where they do so much helping that they neglect their own needs. And that can make people sick ruined lives. So I'm sure you can find a balance where you can be helpful and be there with your mother while she's suffering because she is suffering. And hopefully, if that happens to you, somebody will be there for you in that way. At least try.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I know you're right. God, I called in about paint colors. And here we are. The thing is, I think I've been using David and the HOA and all this press stuff as a distraction, so I don't have to think about the fact that my mom is alone in that house. And she's scared, and I'm angry at a 72-year-old woman with Parkinson's for things she did 30 years ago.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it sounds like maybe there's an opportunity there for some redemption and forgiveness and all those types of things. And, you know, you might find that you have things in common with your mom, or she's fun to be around, or funny, or funny, or whatever it is. So I recommend you make the effort and spend some time with her no matter where you live. But also, move.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Okay, okay. Move and see my mom. You're not letting me off the hook on either one. You know what's funny? I've been so focused on David making me move that I never even asked myself if I actually want to stay in this neighborhood.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you've got your answer. Thanks for calling in, Marlene. I hope your mom's all right and not suffering too badly because probably Parkinson's is no fun. It's not something that you would wish on anybody, and it's not something that's easy to watch. And, um, and yeah, you got to help people when they can't help themselves. And it sounds like she's reaching the position where she can't help herself. And she needs your help, and you are close enough. So a couple hours of your week isn't going to, isn't going to hurt you. All right, Marvin. Marvin, welcome to the show. What can we do for you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I just got off the phone with my dad and we sat there in silence for like 20 minutes because he won't talk anymore. He had a stroke three years ago and he just gave up. And I'm sitting here reading this book about a 70-year-old woman who completely relearned how to speak. And I'm losing my mind because I know it's possible, but he won't even try.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, do you know it's possible? Is it that he won't speak or that he can't speak? Because every stroke is different. Every brain is different. So he might not actually have the capacity.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>No, he can. The therapist said so. He got two months of speech therapy right after it happened, and he was making progress. Slow, but it was there. He could get words out. They were just scrambled, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, imagine how that would feel to you, to your pride and your sense of self-worth and your existence on this planet to not be able to speak as a full-grown adult. Just imagine what that would feel like for a second.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>I mean, yeah, it's got to be humiliating. But Luke, this is the thing. I teach middle school history, right? And I've got these kids who struggle with reading. And the ones who push through it, who do the work even when it's embarrassing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, sure. And they're kids. They're not 75 years old. You know, how old are your dad? It's a little bit different when you're a young, elastic mind and then when you're an elderly person in your, what do they call them? After the golden years, your gray years?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>He's 72, and that's the thing. This book I'm reading, it's all about neuroplasticity, how the brain can rewire itself at any age. This woman was 70 when she had her stroke, and she learned to talk again. So I know age isn't the issue here. He just won't do the work.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, that's his choice. 72 years old, and he has agency, too. If he doesn't want to do the way, if he doesn't want to relearn how to talk at 72 and struggle for the rest of his years, then he didn't have to. He's been through enough.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>But he just sits there, Luke. We're on the phone, and there's nothing. And I know he's got things he wants to say because I can hear him breathing different. Like he's frustrated. He called me. So obviously he wants to connect, but then he won't put in the effort to actually do it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe he wants to connect, but he doesn't want to talk. You know, maybe he's saying, I want you to come over and watch TV with me. Maybe he's saying, I'm scared, and I can't voice that. Maybe he's saying I need help, and there's no way I can tell anybody. So, can he write to you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>Yeah, he can write a little. His right hand is weak, but he can do it. He sent me a few notes, mostly just like I'm fine or don't worry. That's it. And I've tried going over there. I go every Sunday. We watch the news. I make him lunch. But the whole time I'm just sitting there thinking he could be working on this. He could be practicing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe he could be. Maybe he can't be. And I don't think it's fair for you to say what he could be doing. Because you don't know. You didn't have the stroke and you don't have his brain. And it's very possible that the therapist was just talking shit because she read an article about somebody that had a stroke before that was able to learn to read. But everybody is in a different situation. And this man's 72 years old. And he doesn't want to learn to talk again. It's not an easy thing to do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>Okay, but no, hold on. I hear what you're saying.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But I also heard Tamika earlier talking about the great attractor and how nothing matters. And that's bullshit. Things matter. The work matters. The work matters to you. That doesn't mean the work matters to him. Obviously it doesn't. So he's got his own set of values that may not match yours. And he's also got a very different perspective from his position than you have. So try and have some empathy for somebody that just lost everything and not push him to be something else, be something more. He already feels bad enough. So he's clearly humiliated by the situation as anybody would be because it's humiliating. And you feel vulnerable and you just. I mean, that's horrible. So, you know, if he doesn't want to talk, write. If he can't write, sit with him. Spend some time with him, and he's still your dad, and let him go out the way he wants to go out, you know? Because he doesn't want to struggle for the last five years of his life. That's okay.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>That hit me. because I think I've been making this about me. You've obviously been making it about you, and it's not about you. You're the one that's healthy. You can speak, you can call a radio show and talk to me about how your father's an asshole because he had a stroke and he doesn't want to suffer. He's not an asshole.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I never said that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>But yeah, you're right. I'm sitting here with this book like it's some kind of proof that he's giving up. When really, I'm just pissed that I can't fix it. I teach kids all day, eighth graders, and I can make them understand the Louisiana purchase or whatever, but I can't make my dad want to talk to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's not that he doesn't want to talk to you. He obviously wants to connect with you. Like you said, he's calling, he's reaching out, and he's sending you notes, and he wants to connect, but he doesn't want to talk, because maybe it hurts. Maybe it is just humiliating and embarrassing. It doesn't matter why. He doesn't want to, and he's, and he doesn't have to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>Yeah, you're right. God, I've been such a dick about this. I keep pushing the therapy thing every time I'm over there like, Dad, you could still improve. It's not too late. And he just looks at me like he's tired of having to disappoint me. And the thing is, I think part of me is scared that if he stops trying to talk, then we just won't have a relationship anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that might be. And that's really sad. But if he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't want to talk. And you have to give him that freedom. And when he decides he does want to talk, he will do the work. If for some reason he gets sick of being mute and he wants more connection and he feels some optimism in his life, not just constantly being poked and prodded and pushed to do something he doesn't want to do, he might put forth the effort. So just support him as best you can without pushing him to be what you want him to be. He lost everything, and you didn't.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, I hear you. I've been treating him like one of my students who just needs the right motivation. But he's not a kid who doesn't know better. He knows exactly what he's choosing. And I need to respect that, even if it sucks for me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, you do. That's the right thing to do. So thanks for Colin, and I hope your dad is okay. And just be the best son you can to him and respect his wishes because he. He earned that. He's old enough to go out the way he wants to go out. And, uh, and yeah. And now it's time for a word from our sponsors. I'm going to be straight with you. I don't know what this product does. The folks at Bunkhouse DNS sent me a script, and I've read it four times, and I understand maybe 11% of it. Apparently, your DNS is exposed, which sounds medical. Your queries are being logged by default, which sounds a least. And Bunkhouse reroutes your lookups through encrypted tunnels, which sounds like something a villain would say in a movie before the building explodes. What I can tell you is this. I installed it. I pressed one button and a little shield icon turned green. Green means good. I know that much. My internet still works. Nothing exploded. And apparently my queries, whatever those are, are now private. Which feels like progress, even though I don't fully understand progress from all what? Bunkhouse DNS. I don't know what it does, but the shield is green, and that's enough for me. Okay, we're back. Welcome back to the show. Amber, thank you for calling in. What can we do for you tonight?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting here at the dispatch center on my break, and I just watched a guy total someone's car in a parking lot and drive off. And I ran his plates. And it's the youth pastor from my church.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, what a surprise. The youth pastor. On the sauce again. You think he was, you think he was sauced up?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>I mean, I don't know for sure, but it was a Walgreens at like 10 o'clock. And he backed into this sedan hard enough to cave the whole bumper in. Just sat there for a second, then pulled forward and drove off. I was trying to get my phone out to record it. And by the time I got the plate number, he was already gone.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, are you sure it was him and his car wasn't stolen?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Yeah, I'm sure. White Silverado. Plate came back to Danny Ortega. I know that truck. He picks kids up for youth group in it. He's got one of those coexist bumper stickers and a Calvary Baptist decal on the back window and I saw him behind the wheel. I'm like 90% sure it was him.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what is it you're going to do about the situation?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>That's why I'm calling. I've got the plate number written down right here on a post-it stuck to my coffee cup. And I keep staring at it. Like, do I call it in? Do I go to him directly?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, think those things through. What happens if you call it in? And what happens if you don't? And you go to him directly. If you go speak to him about it, what outcome would you like to have happen?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>If I call it in, it goes to the cops. They track him down. He gets a hit and run on his record. Insurance fraud, maybe. The whole church finds out his wife, his daughter, the one he just baptized three weeks ago. I watched that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And what if Danny Ortega was a plumber from Plias? Would you feel the same way about calling the cops?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>No. No, I wouldn't. If it was just some random guy, I'd have already called it in.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And if you go to him and talk to him, what do you think he will do?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>I don't know. Maybe he'd do the right thing and turn himself in. Contact the owner of the car. Or maybe he'd lie to my face. Or maybe he panics and runs. And then I'm the one who let him let him get away with it when I could have just done my job.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, here's what I recommend you do. You know the guy and you don't want to be a snitch and you don't want to ruin somebody's life unnecessarily. So I would recommend that you try to talk to him and see what happens. And if he lies to you or if he is obviously inebriated or looks like he's in a no shape to be driving a youth van full of children around, then you call it in. But check with him first, see what happens. And, uh, for all you know, it wasn't him. It was his son driving the car.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Give him a chance to explain it first. I mean, I've known this guy for two years. He organizes the food drive every Thanksgiving. It just feels so out of character.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you never really know somebody, especially if they, uh, fall under the influence of the a drinking problem or drugs or something like that. And you can't be sure that it was him because you didn't clearly see his face. You said you only thought 90% and that's not proof.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Right. I didn't see his face. Just the plate. And the track matches. White Silverado. Same dent in the tailgate I've seen in the church parking lot. But you're right. Could have been someone else driving it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Are you sure if you called that? that the police would throw the book at the guy, or would they recognize that he was a pastor and kind of give him a tap on the wrist?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>I mean, honestly, probably depends on who catches the call. Some of the guys I work with would absolutely go easier on him because he's a church guy. But if he was drunk, or if the damage is bad enough, or if the owner of that sedan makes a big deal about it, then it doesn't matter who he is. always that one cop who doesn't care if you're a pastor or the mayor, you know.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's the right cop. You know, that's the cop that's following the law and keeping people accountable no matter who they are or what they do.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>So I can respect that. I can also respect the cop that lets everybody go because he recognizes it's going to ruin their lives. So I guess, yeah, it depends on which one you get. And neither one of them would be completely wrong. So that's a tough situation. But if this guy is drinking or has a drinking problem, if that's what caused the accident, he might not even remember doing it. You know, he could have been blacked out and totally oblivious to the situation. And if that's the case, that indicates that there's a problem and he shouldn't be on the road with kids.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's what keeps eating at me. Like, if he doesn't even remember it, then what happens next Sunday when he's loading up the church van with a bunch of kids? That's the part that makes me feel like I can't just let it slide. It's not just about the bumper on some random car. It's about whether he's safe to be around those kids.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, my recommendation is to go talk to him and give him 24 hours to turn himself in. And if he doesn't, then you do it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Yeah. That feels right. I'll go by the church tomorrow. Catch him before the food drive set up. Give him a chance to do the right thing himself. And if he doesn't.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 18: Whistleblowers, Warrants, and Wistful Reunions</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-22T08:48:22+00:00">February 22, 2026</time> · 48 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">This episode features callers Woody, Tamika, Clarence, and Sandy. Woody grapples with uncovering his foreman's fraud, Tamika deals with a mysterious warrant, Clarence struggles with a friend's hurtful comments, and Sandy wrestles with compromising workplace safety. The host provides thoughtful advice, from confronting friends to prioritizing personal integrity. Will the callers find the courage to make tough choices? Tune in to find out!</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Luke at the Roost. This is the call-in radio show where you can call in and ask me your questions. If you'd like to call in, the number's 208-439-5853. That's 208-439 Luke. If you're not near a phone and you'd still like to participate in the show, you can email us at submissions.com. And with that out of the way, I just want you all to know that our street team has been hard at work spreading the word about the roost. All those roosters are out there dropping off stickers and business cards and truck stop bathrooms all across the country. So if you happen to see my face on a sticker, on an ice box in front of a loves, that's intentional. So don't remove it. First up on the show, we have caller Woody. Woody, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Hey, Luke, yeah. So I found a USB drive in the company truck three weeks ago, and I've been sitting on it because I'm pretty sure my foreman's been running fake invoices through our drilling operation for like two years.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Did you look at what's on the USB key? Because it might be more interesting than that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Oh, I looked. I looked too much. It's not just invoices. It's spreadsheets with two sets of numbers, emails between him and some guy and me. Midland, who's definitely not a supplier, and a folder labeled backup with receipts from a casino in Ruidoso.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's not good. What are you going to do with that information?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>That's the thing, man. I've been parked at this truck stop for three hours trying to figure that out. I could hand it to the site manager, but Big Jim's been my foreman for four years, and he got me this job when I really needed it. Or I could just toss it and pretend I never saw it, but then I'm sitting on actual fraud, and that eats at me.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why does that eat at you? What does it have to do with you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Because I'm the one who found it, you know? Like I didn't go looking for it. It was just sitting there in the glove box of truck number seven. But now I. And every time Big Jim texts me about helping with his cattle or asks me how the rig's running, I'm looking at him different. Plus my dad lost his pension when his company went under because of shit like this. So it's not just abstract to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, this is a buddy of yours, right? You said he got you to the job and he's your foreman, you work with him all the time. Maybe you should just talk to him and see what's up because it could be an explainable situation.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>I mean, yeah, I thought about that, but Luke, there's like 40 invoices from a Southwest drilling supply that doesn't exist. I googled it. And the emails, man, they're not ambiguous. There's one where he's talking about keeping the split at 6.0 and another one about making the actual equipment rentals. That's not a misunderstanding. That's a system.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, if holding on to this information makes you feel strange, how do you think being a whistleblower would make you feel?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Oh, God, yeah, that's exactly it. Like, I'd be the guy who burned big Jim and everyone on the crew would know it was me because I'm the only one who drives that truck regular. I'd be done in this industry, at least around here. Word gets around fast when you're the snitch.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>if you're technically doing the right thing. Do you know what they say about snitches?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Yeah, they get stitches. I know. And that's not even hyperbole out here. Big Jim's got friends who, look, let's just say people handle their business differently in the oil patch. But honestly, what gets me more than that is just being the guy who couldn't mind his own business.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it's a little bit messed up that you found a USB key and then looked to see what was on. Was there anything else on the key besides these invoices?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Oh, there was some other stuff, like a bunch of pictures from his daughter's birthday last year, and a playlist called Big Jim's Roadhouse Mix, that's mostly George Strait and some weird country rap. But the invoices were in a folder labeled Tax Prep 2024, which is just, yeah. I mean, I wasn't snooping for this, but when you see something like that, you don't just unsee it. It's like walking in on your parents doing it. You can't pretend you didn't.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Since you found it, you feel weird about it, and you don't want to sit on the fraud, and you don't want to say nothing. You've got to talk to Big Jim and ask them what it's about. Let them know that you know. Let them know that you found the key. You've got the evidence, and if it continues, you're going to turn them in, but give him the opportunity to turn it around. Because I think if you don't do that, you are going to be the snitch, and it's nobody's going to want to do business with you anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Oh, man, you're saying that, like, it's a choice. Like, I'm just going to walk up to Big Jim, who's got a belt buckle bigger than my fist and a temper to match and say, that's not how this works. That's how you end up in a ditch outside of Deming. But, okay, fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's why you're smart about it, and you give a copy about it to a trusted person. If anything happens to you, that copy gets out, and you let Big Jim know that you've got the evidence. Somebody else has the evidence, and if he doesn't cut the shit, you're going to turn him in.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Jesus, Luke, now we're talking about insurance policies and dead man switches like I'm in a mob movie. But I mean, yeah, that makes sense.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're talking about conspiratorial fraud in an oil patch with a guy named Big Jim. You're already in a mob movie, buddy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Okay, fair point. So what? I give a copy to Angela? She already thinks I'm too paranoid. This is going to really seal the deal. Hey, babe, hold on to this USB drive and if I turn up missing, mail it to the feds. That's definitely getting me laid.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is definitely getting you laid. Chicks love danger, and you're a dangerous man. So do the right thing, be smart about it, and, you know, let them know that it's not going to stand and you can't be part of it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>You know what? You're making this sound way cooler than it feels. I'm sitting here in a Flying J parking lot eating beef jerky and having an existential crisis, and you're turning me into some kind of whistleblower action hero. But all right, all right, I'll make a kind of. I'll make a I'll give it to Angela, who's either going to think this is the hottest thing I've ever done or the stupidest, and I'll have a conversation with Big Jim. A very careful conversation, probably in a public place.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>There you go. Now you're being smart, and it can be the hottest thing you've ever done and the stupidest. They're not mutually exclusive. So do the right thing. You've got a plan now. Execute it, and you're going to be just fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>You know what, Luke? I called in here thinking I was just going to vent and maybe get told to forget about it. And instead, you've got me planning like I'm about to take down the Gambino family. But honestly, yeah.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, you don't know. This could be the tip of the iceberg, but like you said, Big Jim is your buddy. He's your friend. He's a guy you want on your side. So you can frame this in a way that you're really doing him a favor. Like, look, this is going to get out one way or another, and I'm giving you the opportunity to keep the lid on that by straightening out your act.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Oh, man. That's... that's actually smart. Like, hey, Jim, I stumbled across something, and I'm bringing it to you first because I respect you. But this can't continue. Make it about loyalty instead of accusation. Give him a chance to fix it before it blows up in everyone's face. The thing is, I don't even know if he's the one running this, or if he's just signing off on stuff someone above him is pushing down.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Either way, you're right. It's going to come out eventually. It is about loyalty because he is your buddy. And if he's just, it wasn't about loyalty, you already would have turned him in. So that's the truth. Stick with it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do the right thing. And maybe flee the country. Okay, so step one, make copies. Step two, give one to Angela with the sexiest, if I die, avenge me speech I can manage. Step three, talk to Big Jim like a reasonable human being. Step four, have a valid passport ready just in case. Got it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>You know what, Luke?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What, Woody?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>I feel like I just went from guy who's going to throw this in a dumpster and pretend he never saw it to guy with an actual plan in like five minutes. I don't know if that's good judgment or if you just talked me into something incredibly stupid. But I guess we'll find out. Worst case scenario, I'm calling you back from Mexico in a couple weeks.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, Woody. Well, thanks for the call. We hope it all works out for you. And if it doesn't, we will avenge you. You have a wonderful night and stay safe out there. Tamika, Tamika, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Luke, hey. Okay, so, the sheriff just showed up at my neighbor Rose's house, looking for me because of some stupid warrant from last summer. And she? Covered for me. But now I'm sitting here thinking I might have just made everything worse for her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, if you're dragging somebody else into your legal problems, you're. You're obviously a burden to your friends and society. So what is it that you did?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>It was a poker game, man. Last August, over at this guy Daryl's place off Route 9. I won $400. And apparently, the game got rated like an hour after I left. Illegal gambling or whatever. I didn't even know that was coming. I just took my money and went home to my kids.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And how is there a warrant for your arrest? How can they prove that you were at this illegal poker game? First of all, nobody. cares about 400 bucks in an illegal poker game. But what makes the fuzz what got them on your tail?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>That's what I'm saying. I don't even know how they got my name. Best I can figure is someone talked. Or maybe Darrell had a list or something. He was running these games pretty regular like every other weekend. But I got the notice in the mail back in September, said I had to appear for some misdemeanor thing. And I just, I didn't I was working double shifts. The kids had school starting. And honestly, Luke, I thought if I ignored it, maybe it would just go away.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know damn well that you can't ignore a warrant or a deposition or anything from the court, and it's going to go away. I mean, that's stupid. But I'm not a lawyer. Let me put that out there. I'm not a lawyer at all. But I'm pretty sure somebody just saying your name doesn't put out a warrant for your arrest.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>No. You're right. I had to sign in when I got there. Daryl had this whole thing like a clipboard at the door. Said it was for insurance purposes, which I thought was weird. But whatever, I just wanted to play cards.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What the hell? You walked into an illegal poker game, and the host of the game had you physically write down information that's identifiable? That's absurd. Who would do that? Why would you do that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>I know. It sounds insane now, but at the time it felt, I don't know, legit. Like, it was true to make it seem professional or something. There were like 12 people there, half of them I knew from around town. It didn't feel sketchy. It just felt like guys playing cards on a Saturday night. I wrote down my name and phone number like an idiot and didn't think twice about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know what? I think, skipping, skipping court, that's a crime. But having your name on a list isn't necessarily. I'm sure if you got a good enough lawyer, you could get yourself out of that one pretty easily, and you should just go to court and see what it even is. Because do you know that this is why they're looking for you? Has anybody from the police department said it's for illegal gambling?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>No, actually, the deputy didn't say anything to Rosa, except they were looking for me about a warrant. I'm just assuming it's the poker thing because that's the only legal. trouble I've had. But you're right. I don't actually know for sure what it's about. I never opened the court notice all the way. I just saw failure to appear and my stomach dropped. And I shoved it in a drawer.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, none of what you have told me thus far in this call has been very smart. So I'm questioning your intellectual capacity, but I'm going to tell you right now, you got to go to the court and see what this is about and get it cleared up, because it's not going to get better if you continue to hide. from the sheriff. It could be nothing. It could be, uh, it's, it's probably unrelated, but you know what's worse than illegal gambling? You won $400. That's tax evasion. That's way worse. They will come after you forever for evading tax on $400. So you clean this up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Oh God, I didn't even. I didn't report it on my taxes. Luke, I just bought groceries and shoes for my kid. I didn't think about the IRS. Jesus Christ, is that really worse? Because now I'm spiraling here. You think that's what this is about?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I don't think that's what this is about. I think this is about something completely different. Because honestly, nobody cares about your $400 local poker game. There would have to be something else going down there, and you're not the one that they're after. If they're staking out a high-stakes-if it's a Molly's game situation, they're not after you. and they're not looking for you. They might be trying to get information out of you about someone else that was there. That I could see, but nobody cares about your 400 bucks. They might try to use that for leverage. But, yeah, and since I've identified that you're not the brightest, do not report this to the IRS.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Okay, okay, so you think they want me to talk about somebody else who was there? Because there were a couple guys I didn't recognize. One of them had a real. nice watch was throwing around hundreds like it was nothing. Daryl seemed to know him, though. You think that's what this is? They're trying to flip me on someone bigger?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I have no idea what this is because you didn't read the fucking document they sent you that told you what it is. So maybe read that. It might have some indication. I'm just trying to give you a game plan for if you do go into the sheriff's office and they have questions because that would be their intention. It's not to come after you, a mother of however many kids you're all. mother of for $400 in a home poker game.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Two kids. And yeah, you're right. I need to dig that paper out of the drawer and actually read the whole thing. I just panicked when I saw Warrant and my name and I couldn't deal with it. But now Rosa's spooked. The deputy's been to her house and I'm sitting here making tea at midnight like that's going to solve anything. I'll look at it tomorrow morning. First thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's good because otherwise you're spiraling into a life of crime and you're bringing down the people that are around you with you. And it's, uh, you're a detriment to society. And nobody wants that. So, so, uh, take care of this situation. And if you've got to stop playing poker at this poker game, I would recommend doing that for now. And, uh, maybe play online or actually go to a casino. There are plenty of casinos with poker rooms where you can go play legitimate poker, uh, for stakes that you're, uh, that you're, that you're, uh, that you're comfortable with.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TAMIKA</span><p>Yeah. Yeah. No. I haven't been back since. That was six months ago, and I learned my lesson. I'm not cut out for that kind of thing. I get nervous just thinking about it now. You're right, though. I need to stop hiding and just deal with it like an adult.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is correct. Thank you for the call. We hope it all works out. And congratulations on your big poker win. Thanks for the call again, Tamika. Now it's time for a word from our sponsors. Today's show is brought to you by Overwhelmed VPN. Worried about online privacy? You should be. You should be worried about everything.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm talking about overwhelmed VPN, the only VPN that makes you more anxious about your digital footprint. While other VPN's claim to protect you, overwhelm VPN sends you hourly notifications about who's tracking you, how many governments are watching, and which of your high school classmates Googled your name this week. Browse the internet while our proprietary fear engine tells you exactly how many corporations you owe your soul to. Plus, our servers are located. in international waters on a decommissioned oil rig, so even we don't know where your data is. Try Overwhelm VPN free for 30 days if you can handle it. Use code they watching for 20% off. Overwhelm VPN because ignorance is bliss, but you're not here for bliss. All right. Make sure you're protecting your online. identity with overwhelmed VPN. Next up on the call roster here, we have Clarence. Clarence, welcome to the show. How's your evening going?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>Oh, man, it's going. You know, got the space heater cranked. Doing paperwork I should have done three weeks ago. So living the dream. But hey, Luke, I got to ask you something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, hit me with some funny shit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>So last Saturday, I'm at my buddy Danny's barbecue. We've known each other 20 years, right? Hunt together, help each other move, the whole deal. I go inside to grab a beer, and I hear him out by the grill, telling people that I can't even keep my own marriage running, much less an AC unit. And here's the thing. He's not wrong about the marriage part. Been divorced two years. But man, that landed different than the usual shit we give each other. I don't understand.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>that bother you, sir. I mean, okay, so normally we bust each other's balls all the time, you know? That's just what we do. But this wasn't to my face. And how well do you know your way around an AC unit?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>What do you mean? I've been running Clarence's heating and cooling for 16 years, Luke. I know my way around an AC unit just fine. That's not the point.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What is the point, sir? Your buddy said some shit behind your back and you didn't like that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>No, it's not just that. It's the way he said it. Like he was of it. Like he'd been waiting to say it. And here's the thing. Danny's my best friend.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. How do you know he was talking about you? I mean, there's not that many clearances around, but there could be more than one clearance.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>Oh, come on, Luke. We were at barbecue. literally in the next room. He knows I run the AC business in town. And when I came back out with the beer, everyone got real quiet and looked at their shoes, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Is it a possibility that you may be a cuckold?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>What? No, Jesus, Luke. I'm divorced. There's no cuckolding happening.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so you can't keep a marriage together and you've been divorced for a long time. It's not a very good from your friend. So I don't understand why this is bothering you much. Talk to your buddy and figure out what that was about. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he was tripping on acid. You don't know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>I mean, yeah, the divorce was three years ago. And you're right. It's not even a creative insult. But that's what's eating at me, Luke. It wasn't creative. It was just true.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. So there you go. You're bothered by it because what he said was the truth and you knew it. So what are you going to do about that? It's not his fault.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>No, you're right. It's not his fault. I just, I've been sitting here all week thinking about it, and I keep coming back to the same thing. Like, why would he say that? We've been friends for 20 years.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why don't you ask him that? Why are you calling the radio to ask me why he would say the truth about your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>Because I'm afraid of what he'll say, all right? I'm afraid he'll tell me he's been thinking it for. years that everyone's been thinking it, that I'm the guy who can fix everyone else's AC, but can't keep his own shit from falling apart.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And I heard Woody earlier, the guy with Big Jim and the fraud thing, and he's going to go confront his friend directly. And that's the same advice I'm going to give to you is to go confront your friend directly, because if your friend's feeling that way about you and has been for some time, maybe that friendship is not worth keeping.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're right. I just, sitting here in this office at midnight, you know, 20 years of friendship, we were at each other's weddings. His kid calls me Uncle Clarence.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's a bit weird. That sounds a little creepy. I don't know what to tell you, Clarence. This doesn't sound like much of an issue to me. Go talk to your friend and figure out what that was about because people spout off shit all the time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLARENCE</span><p>Whoa, hold on. The kid thing isn't creepy, Luke. That's just what kids do down here. All my buddy's kids call me uncle. That's normal. But you're right about the rest. I'm making this bigger than it is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that is not normal, sir. I'm here to tell you that Uncle Clarence sounds creepy. So go talk to your friend and stop being such a baby. Jesus, it's with these people. Next up on the line, we have Sandy. Sandy, welcome to the show. How can we help you? I hope you have a better story for us than Clarence did. Jesus. What about that guy? Uncle Clarence over there? I'm creep.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Oh man, no. I'm not calling about my feelings getting hurt at a barbecue. I can promise you that. So here's the thing. My boss gave me until next Saturday to sign off on a bunch of fire safety reports that say we did drills and equipment checks that absolutely never happened, like not even close. home, and I'm supposed to just put my name on paperwork that says we're all good when we are very much not all good. And I know what you're going to say. Don't sign it, report it, whistleblow. But what I actually want to talk about is how this is exactly the kind of thing that's been keeping me stuck in this town for two years longer than I should have been here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, I don't understand that last part, and you're right. I am going to tell you to whistleblow like that. I mean, if something were to happen, then you'd never be able to live with yourself afterwards if you did not whistleblow. But what is it about this situation that's been keeping you stuck in this town?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>No, it's not that this specific situation has been keeping me stuck. It's that this is like the perfect example of how everything works here. Like, my girlfriend left for Tucson two years ago, and I didn't go with her because I had this job and it felt responsible, you know? stable, and now I'm sitting here at one in the morning in an empty building, being asked to compromise myself just so this place can keep its license and keep operating. Which is the same logic for everything. The county's broke, the state fundings a joke, so we all just agree to fudge things a little bit here and there because otherwise the whole thing falls apart.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, there's a lot of fudging going around and a lot of businesses. I've never worked anywhere where at some point I wasn't asked to compromise myself. So that is part of capitalism, I think. But when it's a safety issue, if it really has you concerned and people could be hurt from your lack of, lack of, what's the word, I'm not looking for, integrity, then you've got to do something about that. Because if you don't, then you suck. You might as well kill the people yourself, right? you have to report that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Yeah, I know. I'm not signing it. I already decided that. I called my supervisor on Friday and told her I wasn't comfortable with it. And she gave me this whole speech about how we're all doing the best we can with what we have. And how if I make a big deal out of this, the state could shut us down. And then where would these residents go? Which is probably true, honestly.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It may be true, but you know what would not happen? Those residents would not die in a fire because they didn't shut down a place that was unsafe.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Right, exactly. And that's the thing. I'm not even wrestling with whether to sign it anymore. I'm not going to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>What I keep thinking about is how I've been making these little compromises for two years, telling myself it's because I care about the residents, or because the way. work matters, whatever. But really?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I sympathize with that situation. I think we've all been in similar positions, and I can understand how you feel sort of compromised because you have compromised, but that doesn't mean you have to continue, right? You've come to this realization. You've had this moment of clarity. And this is how the world works. That's every single place I've ever worked, has asked me to compromise myself in some way. Now, they're not all safety issues, but it's always somebody saying, well, you got to do this for us, even though I know that it's wrong. And, and, you know the thing? You can compromise for them over and over and over. You can be as loyal as, I don't know, a golden retriever. And when it comes down to it, they will throw you under the bus in a second.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Oh, I know. I saw it happen. to the last night shift supervisor. She tried to raise a stink about the staffing levels, and suddenly she was no longer a good fit. Poof, gone. And I'm sitting here in the break room. Boots propped up on a folding chair, picking at a Diet Coke label, and the only light on in the whole building is this one and the hallway nightlights.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and it's good to do the best you can and care because in some respects, you're obviously doing the right thing and helping a lot of people. And that's good. But the company doesn't care about you. And it doesn't matter what company it is because the company cares about the company. And if you're not an owner of that company, they do not give a shit about you. They might pretend to, but that is performative. That is HR. That is marketing. So make sure you know that when you're going into this stuff. The best work you can, but at the end of the day, you are on your own. And don't compromise.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Yeah, and that's what my girlfriend kept saying before she left. She was like, Sandy, they're using your sense of responsibility against you. And I didn't want to hear it then, because it felt like she was saying the work didn't matter, but that's not what she meant. She meant exactly what you're saying. They'll take everything you're willing to give and then act surprised when you finally say no to something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And honestly? You know what? I used to work for a company called Salesforce. Maybe you've heard of them. The CEO there, his name's Mark Beniof. And when I worked there in like 2015-ish, it was the culture of the company. It was a very employee-forward company. there's all the snacks you could eat and Ohana culture. Like they were all about Hawaii and Ohana and everybody's family here. And you know what's happened at Salesforce now? They laid off 40% of the workforce and all of that performative bullshit about philanthropy and fixing hospital wings has turned into, how can I suck the dick of President Donald J. Trump so that I can get the tax rebates that he was promised? And this dude Benning, off, he's out there making jokes about ice and saying, I should come to San Francisco and clean it up. And it's the complete antithesis of what the company was founded on because all of that is bullshit. So when a company is in a position to be playing public opinion with their philanthropy and good works and employee first culture, take that with a grain of salt because when the tides turn, they turn with them.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Jesus. Yeah, I mean, this place never even pretended to be that. We've always been broke and scrambling. But you're right, it's the same thing just at a different scale. They'll use the we're helping people angle to get you to cover shifts with no notice, to ignore safety violations, to take on extra residents when we're already understaffed.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, when I was there, they had. this big conference every year and they get will I am and whoever is popular at the time to come in and give a speech about change in the world or some bullshit. And when I was there, that person that they paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to come speak was Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton came to the company and all support behind Hillary Clinton. But you know who we're in bed with today? Mr. Donald J. Trump. And that's the thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>At least with... those big companies. You know it's all fake from the start. Here, it's worse in a way, because everyone actually does care about the residents. Like, my co-workers really do give a shit, but the organisation itself is still using that against us. If you don't sign this, if you don't stay late, if you don't cover that shift, these vulnerable people suffer. And that's The truth is, I should have left when gendered.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and I sympathize with your situation, because that is true. Most of the people that you work with that are subordinates, that are employees of the company doing the actual work, they do care. They do want to do their best work. They do want to take care of the clients. But the people that make the money, they don't give shit. And as soon as they can find a way to do it cheaper, regardless of if it's better or more effective, they're going to do it cheaper and they're going to cut you. you. So don't stay up all night for the company. Or, I mean, even for the residents, I would say, once in a while, that's okay, but you can't burn yourself out or give up relationships or decide where you live for that. That's too much. And I'm glad that you've come to this realization now before they're throwing you to the curb. So yeah, find yourself a new position, work for yourself. Be your own. agent.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Yeah. And the stupid thing is, Jen's been telling me for months there's work in Tucson. She's managing a coffee roaster now making more than I do here. And she keeps saying they need people. But I've been telling myself all these reasons why I can't leave. The residents need consistency. My co-workers are already stretched thin. I know this place inside and out. But Really?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like it's time for you to move on. And you did it for as long as you could. You did the best you could. And when it came time to compromise your morals and your values, you stood up for yourself. And you said, I'm not doing this. And you stood up for your clients in the same way by not allowing, not allowing them to be in an unsafe situation. So you can feel proud of that and sleep good tonight because you did the right thing. And now it's time to move on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I'm not signing those reports. And honestly, I think I've known since Tuesday I wasn't going to. I just needed to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, good. I wish you the best of luck, wherever you end up, and remember the lesson that you learned here, because that is the way that it is. And make sure that you are completely aware of the compromises that you're making and their effect on your well-being. and your life, because nobody else is thinking about that for you, even if they tell the world that they are. They're not.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SANDY</span><p>Yeah. Thank you, Luke. Really? I'm going to call Jen when I get off shift. And hey, maybe I'll call you back in a few months from Tucson and let you know how it went.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Thank you for the call, Sandy. And I hope that it all works out for you. Associate employee contemporaries at Salesforce aren't going to be happy about that one, but fuck them. Now it's time for a word from our sponsors. Stressed, sore, skeptical, doesn't matter. Try placebo leaf, the CBD brand that may or may not do anything but cost enough that you'll convince yourself it works. Our tinctures, gummies, and topicals contain premium hemp extract, and your desperate need to feel better without addressing root causes. Is it the cannabinoids or is it the ritual of self-care? Who's to say? Placebo Leaf is THC-free, vegan, organic, and backed by studies we vaguely reference but don't link to. Take our gummies before bed and sleep great, probably because you retired anyway, but you'll credit us.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Available in flavors like calm and focus. Concepts we've bottled and marked up for 100%. Visit Placeboleaf.com and use code chill. for 25% off. Placebo leaf, wellness is a feeling, and feelings can be purchased. All right, I am calmed down now after our last call. That one got to me because the exploitation of people in that way really pisses me off. And I've seen it too many times at too many companies now. So let's move on. Next up. On the line we have Lakeisha. Lakeisha, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about today?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. So I went to my high school reunion tonight and nobody remembered me. And I mean, like I was a ghost, four years at that school. And I walked in and got blank stairs.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, how, what was your participation in school? Were you in any, like the band or sports? Or what, what was you? was your school like?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Oh man. I was everywhere. Volleyball team. Choir second soprano. Thank you very much. Worked the concession stand at every single football game. You name it. I was the one who always had the extra pen in geometry. The one who'd drive people home when their car broke down. I was.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And tonight? How many concession stand workers do you remember?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Okay. Fair, but I'm not talking about, like, random people I stood next to once. There was this girl, Brittany, who copied my geometry homework every single day for an entire semester. We sat together. Every day.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, I will admit that this scenario sounds odd, that you could have been that involved in school at the time, and nobody remembers you now. Did they remember each other? Was this like a spike-the-punch situation where everybody was... set up for a high school reunion orgy? Like, what was the vibe of the reunion?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Oh, it was a Spike the Punch situation, though I wish it had been. At least then I'd have an excuse for why nobody remembered me. No, it was just polite. Like, everyone was being nice. Too nice. The kind of nice that makes you feel like you're being humored.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, it was a high school reunion. Nobody wants to be there. Everybody's being humored. Um, that's, that's the deal. But it sounds odd nobody remembered you. Are you significantly different now? Do you look different? Uh, uh, uh, this is your voice changed? Uh, what, what were you like in high school versus what you're like today?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>I mean, I've got different hair now. I cut it short about a year ago. But it's not like I had plastic surgery or something. I'm still me. Maybe a little heavier. But who isn't after four years?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Define a little.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Okay, maybe 30 pounds. Fine. But Luke, come on. I'm not unrecognizable. And it's not just how I look.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm not trying to shame you in any way. I'm just trying to understand how this could happen. And if somebody has significantly changed their physical appearance in some way, I mean, that's one way it could happen. You say it's not just how you look. How else is it?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>It's... I don't know. Maybe I'm quieter now. In high school, I was always the one organizing stuff, you know, making plans, pulling people together. Now I deal blackjack at the casino five nights a week, and I barely talk except to call bets. I watch the same people lose the same money every shift, and I just...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, I've got a question for you now. It's a strange thing that you're describing for sure. It would make sense that at least some of those people would remember remember you from your days in high school. But why do you care if your high school reunion buddies remember you today? What does that matter? How many of them do you still interact with? I mean, if you stayed close with anybody from high school, they would obviously remember you. So you must not be close with any of them. And what does it matter if they remember you or not? High school was over a long time ago.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Because I don't know. I guess I needed proof that I was real back then. that those years actually happened and meant something. And not close with anyone from high school, you're right. But when you're standing there, and someone you ate lunch with every single day is looking at you like you're a stranger.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it's odd, and I see how that could feel pretty terrible for a little while. But then, I mean, take that emotion out of it for a second and think about the situation and how much that actually affects your life. It doesn't matter that those years mattered. It was high school. They didn't matter. And the ones that matter are the ones that are now.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. But that's what scares me, Luke. What if it's happening now, too?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, are you close with anybody?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>My grandmother. That's pretty much it. I live with her. Actually. I'm sitting in her kitchen right now with this stupid name tag still on my sweater.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, maybe this is a wake-up call to you to do more with your life. I assume you're working at the casino because it's the best job you could get with what you had at the time. What did you do after high school? Did you get a degree or what trade did you want to go into?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>I did a year at community college, tried to do nursing. But my mom got sick, cancer, and I dropped out to help take care of her. She died about three years ago. After that, I just... I needed money, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and that makes a lot of sense. You got to do what you got to do for the money. But what I'm asking is, if you did not need money, what is it that you would be doing?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>I was good at organizing things, events, fundraisers, that kind of stuff. In high school, I ran the whole volleyball banquet senior year, got local businesses to donate, made it this whole thing. I liked making people feel...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Making people feel how?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Seen, I guess. Like they mattered. That banquet. I made sure every single player got recognized for something specific, not just the starters. I spent weeks on it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's a good leadership trait to have, because that empowers people to be the best version of themselves, and do their best work, and make them feel good, and it makes you personable, and it makes you somebody people want to be around. So if that's your personality, if that's what you're about, I don't think you're going to have trouble in adulthood, having people remember you 10 years down the line. What is going to be a problem is that you don't have anybody that you're close with outside your grandmother right now, and she's not going to be around forever. I hate to say, you're going to have to have some other people in your life that you're starting these long lifetime relationships with.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>That's what terrifies me, though, because I had that, or I thought I did. years of sitting at the same lunch table, four years of volleyball practice, sleepovers, all of it. And tonight, it was like none of it ever happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I talked to one person from high school. I think most people don't talk to people from high school anymore. Especially if you've ever moved or changed locations, it makes sense to not stay tight with the people that, you know, you were tight with when you were 15. But you're not 15 anymore. And you had a... a wake-up call tonight or whenever you had your reunion. And it's time to move forward with your life and do something for you. You took care of your mother when she was sick, and that was a great thing. You spent time with your grandmother and keeping her company, and that's a great thing. But you also have to take care of yourself and your own social, not your social standing, but your social health if being around people is important to you. Now, you've got... important skills that not everybody has, especially when it comes to fundraising. So my recommendation is to get involved with maybe a town board or a committee, a chamber of commerce, and get yourself plugged into the community and start making some friends and doing stuff with them. The casino is probably not the place for that, but there are lots of places around where you can find your fitting and provide a lot to... to those places.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AKEESHAH</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. It's just... I've been in this holding pattern for so long, waiting for life to start happening again after my mom died. And tonight made me realize I've been invisible this whole time, not just at the reunion, at work, in town, everywhere.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if it's important to you to be seen, then go be seen. And there's lots of ways to do that, and you have the skills. So make it happen. If it's not important to be seen, you don't have to. It doesn't matter either way. It's up to you. What's important to you in your life? And it sounds like right now you're feeling like it's important to be seen. So go get yourself seen.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AKEESHAH</span><p>I don't even know where to start. Like, do I just walk into the Chamber of Commerce and say, hey, I used to organize high school banquets. Hire me? That sounds ridiculous.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you don't know. You don't have to work for them. But, yeah, if you walk into pretty much any place in the country and say I'm good at raising funds, then, yeah, they're going to want to work with you.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AKEESHAH</span><p>Huh. I never thought about it like that. I've just been thinking of it as this high school thing I used to do. Not like an actual skill people need.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it is a very important skill that a lot of people need. You could join a political party and do it for a candidate that you agree with their platform. for the betterment of society, for social reasons. You could fundraise for yourself. Everybody needs a fundraiser, and if you enjoy that work and you're good at it, you're not going to struggle for work.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AKEESHAH</span><p>You know what's funny? I actually liked it. The organizing part. Getting people to show up. Making them feel like they mattered. At the casino, I'm just...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, at the casino, you're raising funds for the... the casino, which is fine. I mean, I like to go to the casino, and there are dealers there at all the games that make it fun and inviting, and they're very pleasant to be around and memorable. So even if you stayed at the casino, you can still utilize those skills and make yourself seen. But I would recommend, since you've described what you enjoy doing, that you go do that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AKEESHAH</span><p>Yeah, yeah. I could actually do that. There's a literacy thing my grandmother mentioned. They're trying to get funding for after-school tutoring. I could call them Monday.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there you go. Call them Monday and get yourself started, and when you plug yourself into the community like that, you're going to make friends, and they're going to remember you, especially if you've raised them half a million dollars. You're not going to be forgotten. But don't worry about high school. Everybody forgets high school. It's a forgettable time.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AKEESHAH</span><p>You're right. God, I've been holding on to that so tight, like those four years were supposed to define everything, and instead they just evaporated. But maybe that's okay.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's okay, and I think most people are glad that those years evaporated, because they're not the ones that define us. They're the ones that kind of shape how our adulthood begins, but they're plastic.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AKEESHAH</span><p>Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Like, it's not set in stone. I can still...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You can still do whatever it is you want to do. So I recommend that you go do that. And we're running out of time, so I've got to hang up with you, but I appreciate the call. And I hope you feel better and move forward with your life. Don't worry about being recognized by people you don't even talk to anymore.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AKEESHAH</span><p>Thank you, Luke. I really... Yeah, I'm going to make that call Monday.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, thank you for the call, Akeeshah. I hope that it works out. And you find yourself in a new life that brings you great abundance and joy. And that's the end of our show.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 19: Quantum Regrets and Relationship Realities</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-23T06:43:08+00:00">February 23, 2026</time> · 1 hr 8 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Luke helps callers navigate personal and professional challenges, from a man struggling with his boss taking credit for his work to a woman dealing with the fallout of a flirtatious text. The highlight is an in-depth discussion with a caller about the mind-bending implications of quantum physics experiments. Prepare to have your understanding of time and causality expanded.</p>
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<section class="episode-transcript">
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back. I'm your host Luke. This is Luke at the Roost, the call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's going on in your life. I'll give you the best advice I can. If you'd like to call in, the number is 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. If you're not near a phone or you can't call right now, we can take emails. You can email us at submissions at Luke at the Roast. We'll take your email and if I think it's funny enough, we might read it on the show. So, with that being said, it's Sunday, February 22nd and we're going to get to our callers here. The phone is lighting up and today we've got Dexter. Dexter, thanks for calling in. What's going on in your life tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. So I've been reading this Marcus Aurelius book. Right. The Stoic philosophy stuff. And I actually think it's making me worse. Like, I'm getting good at not feeling anything and my mom called me out on it tonight and now I'm sitting here wondering if I've just traded one kind of numbness for another.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Are you talking about meditations? I think maybe you're missing the point. Marcus Aurelius never said not to have any emotions. He said not to let them control you. There's a difference.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>Yeah, meditations. That's the one. And okay, maybe you're right. But here's the thing. This afternoon, my boss just tore into this kid for 20 minutes straight. I mean really laying into him over something that wasn't even that big of a deal, and I just stood there watching it happen. Didn't feel angry, didn't feel bad for the kid, didn't feel anything. I was just breathing through it like the book says, staying calm, and afterward I felt nothing, which I thought was the whole point, but then my mom calls, and she can tell something's off just from my voice.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, it doesn't sound like you felt nothing, made an impression on you. You're still thinking about it now. So it obviously made you feel something that maybe you're trying to repress or push away or not acknowledge. But it did something to you to keep it on your mind for this long.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>Shit. Yeah, okay, you're right. I'm still thinking about it because it pissed me off. Not even at my boss, really. I mean, he's always been like that, but at myself for just standing there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yep, that is a little bit, if you think it was wrong and you didn't stand up for yourself and for the kid, then maybe that's a little bit cowardly. And are you going to do the same thing next time? Or are you going to, I mean, Marcus Aurelius would tell you to learn from your mistakes and not make the same mistake twice.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>You're not wrong. It was cowardly. The kid's name is Jamie. He's 19, been here maybe three months, and he left a gate open that let some cattle drift.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, you might not know the whole story. You might have done that three or four times and been told nicely not to do it and continue to do it anyway. So maybe that kid Jamie deserves the strong wording.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>No, that's fair. I don't know the whole history there. But it wasn't even really about the gate. My boss was going off about how Janie's generation doesn't respect anything. Doesn't know how to work. All this other stuff that had nothing to do with cattle. It turned into this whole thing about kids these days and their phones and whatever. that's the part that got under my skin. Watching this kid just take it with his head down while my boss used him as a punching bag for everything else he's mad about in the world.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what's any of that got to do with you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>Because I've been that kid. Eight years ago when I started here, I was Jamie, screwing up, getting yelled at. Nobody's stepping in. And I told myself back then that if I ever got to where I am now, where the younger guys look up to me, stand there and watch it happen to someone else. But that's exactly what I did today. I broke a promise to myself, and I'm trying to use this philosophy book to convince myself it was the smart move to stay quiet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you know whether it was the smart move or not, but just to play devil's advocate here, Jamie is 19 years old, he's an adult, and he's in the real world and a real job, and he has to learn to stand up for himself. I think we all do. So I mean, we've all had that boss that is overbearing and unreasonable, and flat out mean. And at some point, part of growth is learning how to stand up to that and to say, hey, I'm not going to let you speak to me that way. If you've got a problem with the gate, go close the fucking gate yourself.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>You're absolutely right. And that's exactly what I've been telling myself all night. He's got to learn to handle it himself. It's not my job to fight his battles. But here's what I keep coming back to. When I was 19 and getting treated like that, I didn't have anybody show me it was okay to push back. I just learned to take it and shut down. Which is why eight years later, I'm real good at feeling nothing when I should feel something. So, yeah, maybe Jamie needs to learn to stand up for himself. But how's he supposed to learn that when everyone around him is mommeling the opposite?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you're lying to yourself. You're not feeling nothing. You're feeling cowardly. You're feeling shame in yourself for not standing up when you saw an injustice in the world. And the stoic way to handle that would be to acknowledge it and make sure that you don't do that again in the future without dwelling on it or feeling remorse or guilt unnecessarily for a long time and wasting time that you could be being productive. So if I were you, I would take both of them aside the next time you had the opportunity and explain to the kid that he has to stand up for himself and explain to the boss that what you saw was unaccepted. That is leadership and that is the Stoic philosophy. So keep reading the book and do your best and don't beat yourself up, but move forward in a productive way.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I am feeling it. I've been sitting here stewing for hours pretending I'm above it. And you just laid out exactly what I need to do, which is the scary part, because now I actually have to do it. Talk to both of them.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's it. Just talk to both of them. And the more you do that, the more confidence you'll have in doing that and the less scary it'll become in the future. Because this isn't something that is going to be the end of it, right? You're going to have to deal with this all throughout your life. You're going to have to stand up for yourself and for others and show leadership when there is injustice in the world. If that's who you want to be and it sounds like it is. So don't worry about it. Get some sleep. And tomorrow have those conversations and be confident and say your peace and accept the result and do what you can. But you can't change, what you can't change, you can make an attempt. And that's all you can do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>You know what, Luke? I needed to hear that. I really did. I've been sitting here with this book trying to find permission to do nothing. And you just called me out on it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're obviously not reading the book then, because it says exactly what I'm telling you. It's not a rare book. A lot of people have read meditations. And, uh, the Stoic philosophy is pretty well understood. So if what you're getting out of that book is to stay quiet and feel nothing, then we're reading different books.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEXTER</span><p>No, you're right. I'm cherry-picking the parts that let me off the hook. The whole, except what you can't control thing. I've been using it backwards. Using it as an excuse not to try instead of his piece after I've actually done something. That's not Stoicism. That's just being a coward with a fancy excuse. Appreciate you straightening me out, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No problem. That's what we do here at Luke and the Roost is we straighten people out. Next up on the show, we have Candy. Candy, welcome to the show.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Do you remember that show Strangers with Candy? It was this lady that was all drunk and crazy on Comedy Central. Oh, man. Yeah. Amy Sedaris, right? My sister used to watch that show all the time. I never really got into it, though. I was more of a Reno 911 person back then. But hey, Luke. I got to tell you why I'm actually calling. Because I'm sitting in my bathroom with the shower running so my kid doesn't hear me, and I'm kind of losing it here. My 14-year-old just told me she wants to move to Tucson to live with her dad and his new wife. And I think the worst part is she had this whole speech prepared like she was breaking up with me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know what I always say? 911 was an inside job. So about the 14-year-old, I think that's very normal. I did that myself. I think a lot of. lot of children of divorced parents think the grass is going to be greener on the other side or just want to try to live a different lifestyle, a different life. It's a pretty normal thing. So that might hurt, but she'll probably be back when she realizes dad's house isn't as fun as she thought it was going to be.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Yeah, I mean, you're probably right. But here's the thing. I've been running my mom's bakery since I was 21, getting up at 3 in the morning single day and this girl has never wanted for anything her dad moved to Tucson three years ago with this woman who works from home doing something with marketing or whatever and now suddenly that looks better than what I'm doing like I get it the new wife doesn't smell like yeast and actually has time to do her nails but I've been busting my ass here and the way she said it Luke she wouldn't even look at me</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>yeah but it's not really about you and it doesn't matter what sort of life you gave her She would still be curious and think that it was better somewhere else. That's just human nature. So don't take it personally. It's not personal. Unless you guys have some other darkness in the relationship I'm not aware of, my guess is just that it looks like more fun over there, and she wants to go see what that's like.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>You're right. You're right. I mean, there's no darkness or anything like that. We get along fine, or at least I thought we did.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, Take advantage of the situation. Let her do it. Let her dad take care of the kid and then that frees you up to do some stuff that maybe you wouldn't otherwise be able to do. Enjoy it while it lasts and be there for her if she wants to come back.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Okay, but see, that's where my head goes to a dark place. Because part of me is actually relieved, and that makes me feel like the worst mother in the world. Like, I could sleep past three in the morning. I could maybe go on an actual date without worrying about getting home. I've been This alone for so long that when she said it, there was this split second where I thought, oh, thank God, before the hurt even kicked in.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, you're a person too, and it would be nice for you to be able to live some of your youthful years on your own. So if that's what everybody wants, if everybody's in agreement, the kid wants to go there, the dad is okay with it, and you're okay with it. It sounds like a good thing and a change for everybody. So he gets to spend more time with his daughter. You get to spend more time with yourself, and she gets to see what it's like living in other conditions. Everybody wins.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>You know what? When you say it like that, it doesn't sound so pathetic. I think I've just been so stuck in this loop of work and being mom that I forgot I'm actually only 23. What? My sister Brenda keeps telling me I need to live a little, but we're not even talking right now because of some stupid fight about passwords and privacy stuff. God, I sound like a mess, don't I? But okay, yeah, maybe this is actually a good thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you're 23 years old and you have a 14-year-old daughter?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Yeah, I had her when I was nine. No, I'm sorry. God, I'm all over the place tonight. I'm 37, not 23. The bakery, I've been running it for two years since my mom had her stroke. And I'm 37.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, you're 37, and now you have the opportunity to be single at 37 some of your life while you're still young. I think it's great. Let her do it. Be supportive. Maybe see her on the weekends.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Very good. You're right. Yeah, you're totally right. I'm going to tell her tomorrow that if this is what she wants, we'll figure it out. Maybe I'll even get one of those dating apps everyone's always talking about. Though honestly, the thought of that terrifies me more than telling my daughter she can go.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Tell her she can go. And, yeah, I mean, I think those dating apps are probably less fun and you're imagining that they are, but give it a shot. Especially if you haven't yet, then yeah, that's exciting. And nobody's getting hurt here. So great. It's a win for everybody. Do it and enjoy your life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Okay, yeah. Thank you, Luke. I really needed to hear that. I've been sitting in here with the shower running so she wouldn't hear me lose it. And now I feel like maybe I'm not completely screwing this up. I'm going to go talk to her tomorrow and actually be supportive instead of making it about me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That sounds like a good plan, Candy. You're a good mom, and you deserve some happiness in your life. So go get it. And when dad's house sucks and she wants to come home, be ready for that. That's all. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have to take a word from our sponsor, Squarehole. I'm going to get dark for a second. You're going to die someday. Not today, probably. But someday, and when you do, what's going to represent your business? A Craigslist post from 2020? A Google Maps pin that still says permanently closed because you forgot to update it after COVID. A nephew who knows computers but actually just has a Reddit account? Your legacy deserves better than a nephew with a Reddit account. Squarehole lets you build something that outlasts you. Something your kids can point to and say, Dad built that. They won't know it took you a lot. minutes, that's between you and Squarehole. And when your nephew says, I could have built that for you for free, you can look them in the eye and say, then why didn't you, Tyler? I asked you in 2021 and you said you were busy and you were not busy. Squarehole. Build it before Tyler has to, because Tyler is not going to. Okay, thanks to Squarehole for sponsoring this episode. Next up on the line we have Carl. Carl, welcome to the show. What's going on out there for you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Luke, hey, so I just yelled at my daughter about her car registration, and I swear to God it was my dad's voice coming out of my mouth. Like word for word what he used to say to me. You think I'm made of money? You think this shit just appears. I heard myself say it, and I just froze.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, what happened? What's the situation with the registration, and why did it cost you money?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>So she's got this beat up. up Civic, right? Registrations like 200 bucks, and she asked if I could help cover it because she's been picking up extra shifts at Target, but they cut her hours, which is totally reasonable. But I just got hit with this storage facility repair bill. Some kid broke into a unit last week, busted the lock mechanism on the whole row.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, don't you have insurance on your business?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Yeah, but there's a deductible, and Ray, he's the guy I work with on weekends. He's telling me we should upgrade the whole security system while we're at it because, This is the third break-in in six months. So I'm looking at maybe 1,500 out of pocket if I do it right. But that's not even the point. The point is, I had the $200.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and you reacted in a negative way to your kid when she asked for the money because you're under stress, and that's a normal human thing. People say things they don't mean and react too strongly. So. So what are you going to do? Apologize and move on?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>I mean, yeah. I called her back like 20 minutes later and apologized. She was cool about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>She's a good kid. But Luke, that's not what's messing me up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What is messing you up?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>That you sounded like your dad? Everybody sounds like their dad. No, I know that. I get that. But it's like, okay, my old man died four years ago and we barely spoke the last decade of his life because of exactly this kind of thing. He'd blow up over money, over nothing, make you feel like asking for help was this huge burden.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, sometimes it can be a huge burden, but it sounds like in this case it wasn't a huge burden to you. You made a mistake, you apologized for it, and what are you going to do in the future to make sure that doesn't happen again? Like, if you don't want to be your dad or act like your dad, then you have to take steps to avoid that. And what are those steps going to be?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>That's the thing. I've been taking steps for years. I go to this therapist every other week. I read all this stuff about breaking soul cycles. I've been so careful about not doing what he did. And then one bad moment, and it all just comes right back out like it was sitting there waiting.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, it happens. Everybody makes a mistake once in a while and says things that they don't mean and later regret. I do it all the time, and I always have to constantly try and stop myself when I can feel the hairs standing up on the back of my neck, and I'm about to snap at somebody. And sometimes I do better than others, that's the human experience.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. It's just, I heard Dexter earlier, you know, you know. And I felt like he was doing the same thing I do, using all this self-improvement stuff as like, I don't know, a shield or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but all this self-improvement stuff, none of it expects you to obtain this level of perfection. Right? Every single self-help book or philosophy centers around continuous improvement, an acknowledgement of when you're wrong. And it sounds like you did those things. You acknowledged that you were wrong. You called, you made a mistake. She forgave you. She knows that you weren't trying to hurt her and that you were under stress at work. So this doesn't sound like it's a thing. Just do your best to make sure this doesn't continue to happen and try to be a good person. That's all you can do.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I guess I'm making this bigger than it needs to be. I just got scared for a second that all the work I've been doing doesn't actually matter, you know? Like it's all still in there no matter what I do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, it is always going to be in there no matter what you do. It's not like it's ever gone. I mean, you might be able to go sit with some monks on a mountain in Tibet and meditate it away, but I suspect that it's still in there somewhere with the potential to come out. So you just keep doing what you're doing. Keep working with your therapist. Keep acknowledging when you're wrong and do the best you can to correct those instances when they arise.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARL</span><p>Fair. I appreciate it, Luke. I think I just needed to hear somebody say it's not the end of the world, you know. I was sitting here in this office just spiraling about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It is not the end of the world, Carl. You're doing decent. You're doing pretty good. So keep doing what you're doing and things will get better. Next up we have Monique. Monique, welcome to the show. What's going on with you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I said yes to my boyfriend's proposal three days ago in front of both our families. And I'm pretty sure I don't actually want to marry him.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, luckily for you, you haven't signed any papers yet, so you don't have to marry him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>Right, no. I know that. It's just he did it at my aunt's house during Thanksgiving dessert with like 20 people watching and everyone's already texting me about venues and my mom's crying happy tears every time she sees me and I keep looking at this ring on my finger at work, thinking, when did I stop wanting this? Was it before he asked or the second he got down on one knee in front of everybody?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it could just be jitters. Maybe you did want that, and now that it's happened, it feels real to you. Or maybe you really don't want to get married. But the advice I'm going to give you is you can't make that decision based on what everybody else is feeling, because you're the one that is getting married. It's your life. And a little bit of embarrassment over changing your mind is much safer and less harmful than a lifetime marriage that you don't want to be in.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>Yeah. No, you're right. I know you're right. It's just he's a good guy, you know? Like, objectively, he's nice, and he has a job and he doesn't yell at me or anything. My mom keeps saying, I'd be crazy to let him go.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what your mom says really doesn't matter, and that's a pretty low bar. He's nice, and he has a job, and he doesn't yell at you. I don't know that that's enough qualification for a lifetime commitment to one person. So I think if you're having second thoughts, there's probably a good reason for that. You're not ready for marriage. And maybe you should just tell him, hey, I reacted too quickly. This isn't something I want right now. Maybe we can revisit it in the future.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>That's the thing, though. I don't think I want to revisit it in the future. Like we've been together four years. And I keep waiting to feel that thing everyone talks about. That likes certainty. And it's just not there. I watch him play video games every night. And I think, is this it? Is this what I want for the next 50 years and then I feel like a bitch because he's perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You don't have to feel like a bitch and you don't have to want to get married and you don't have to do what your mom says and you don't have to do what he wants. All you have to do is make the best decisions you can for your own life and what you want. And right now it sounds like that's not marriage to this guy. And maybe you don't want to be with him at all and that's okay too. But it sounds like maybe here and make sure that he knows that because that's the respectful thing to do. If you said yes and he's all excited and he thinks he's getting married but you're not into it, you need to let him know. And that's going to be a hard and awkward conversation, but it's the right thing to do and you should do that sooner rather than later.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>You're right. God. You're right. I heard Candy earlier talking about feeling relieved about her daughter leaving, and I felt so called out because that's exactly how I feel. Like, everyone's congratulating me and I just keep thinking about how I could just keep working my shifts and go home to my own apartment and not have to pretend I care about his fantasy football league.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep. If that's what you're happy with in your life right now, then that's fine. And it's acceptable and you don't have to feel guilty or wrong about that. So tell the guy you don't want to get married and reassess whether you want to be in a relationship at all. You don't have to be. And then just move forward after that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>Okay. Okay. I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell him tomorrow after my shift. I've got like 20 minutes left on my break, and then I got to go back and serve hash browns. But yeah, tomorrow.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, good luck with that conversation. I hope it all works out for you. But yeah, definitely don't get married if you're not even sure you want to continue being his girlfriend. That would be insincere and put you in a bad position later in life. Next up, we've got Cliff. Cliff, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about tonight, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. Thanks for taking my call. So I found $47,000 in credit card debt hidden behind my ex-wife's dresser this afternoon, all in both our names, and she's been gone two years.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That sounds odd to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>There's 47 large in debt, and you don't know what it's for, and you didn't know anything about it, and in two years the collections agency never came looking for you. That doesn't sound right.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>No, you're right. That does sound weird. So what happened is the statements are rolled from like 22, right before she left. I've been getting collection calls, but I thought it was just the normal stuff we had together when we split. Like maybe eight grand I've been chipping away at. I didn't know about this debt because she was handling all the bills back then. I work outside all day. She worked from home doing medical billing, so she just took care of that stuff.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if it's $47,000 today, it was probably half that two years ago, and this is compounding fees for nonpayment. I would venture to guess that you can have a lot of that forgiven if you work with a debt consolidation company, but it looks like it's, if it's valid debt, I mean, that's money that you spent some years ago with your wife. That's how it works. You're going to be on the hook for a portion of that at least.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah. No, I get that. The thing is, though, I didn't spend it. Like, I'm looking at these statements right now and it's stuff I never saw.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if you were married to the woman and your name is on the account and there were charges made on that account, then, yeah, you did spend it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Okay, but Luke, I'm saying I literally didn't know these cards existed. Like there's a capital one here. A discover. Two different chase cards I knew about our one joint card were used for groceries and gas. These other ones, she must have opened them and just put my name on them without telling me. I never saw the bills. I never used the cards. I didn't even know they were being opened.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know. I'm not a lawyer, as I've said before. I don't know that you can reopen a divorce case like that. I'm sure a settlement was already made and all the money was already split. There was a discovery and everybody had to disclose all of the financial records. So if this was not part of that discovery, you might be able to go back to the court and say, hey, there was a fraud here and have some recourse that way. But I don't know. I would recommend that you talk to a lawyer and find out if that is valid and potentially sue her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah. I mean, we didn't actually go through the courts. We just split up. She moved to lost cruises with some guy she met online, and we divided things ourselves. I kept the truck. She took her car. We both just walked away. We were only married three years, didn't have kids, didn't own anything together except the debt I knew about. So there was no official settlement or discovery or any of that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, then you have no recourse at all, sir, and you made a horrible mistake. And now you are going to have to deal with that and maybe talk to one of those debt consolidation companies and see how much of that debt can be forgiven.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Jesus. Okay. So I'm just screwed then. I've been trying to buy a house, been saving up, and now I find out I'm underwater by 50 grand because she was what buying stuff online for six months before she bailed. And I just have to eat it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you have to do more than eat it. I mean, you're not going to buy a house. If you haven't paid the bill in two years on this credit card, then your credit is destroyed. But if your name's on the account card, then that's your debt.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, my credit's already trashed. I know that now. I've been getting rejected for loans and I couldn't figure out why because I thought I was doing everything right, paying my bills, running my business clean, staying out of trouble. And the whole time it's this. What kills me is she knew. And that's why I tell everybody don't get married. It doesn't matter how much love you're in. Just don't do it because you don't know another person. You can't. And they change and they do shady shit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So My recommendation to literally everybody is, don't get married. You did. You got burned. And then you split it up without going to court and having discoveries made. And now you're in trouble. So, I mean, your credit's trashed. Her credit's also trashed. And she's got the debt too. So she's not buying a house either. Your best course of action, I believe, is to talk to a debt consolidation company.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, you're probably right. I just keep thinking about all those months before she left, how she was acting weird, distant, and I thought maybe she was just stressed about work or something. Now I'm realizing she was probably panicking because she'd racked up all this debt and didn't know how to tell me or didn't care to tell me. I don't even know which is worse.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It doesn't really matter what she told you or how she felt. What matters is you have this debt now and you could have avoided that by being responsible in checking your credit periodically to know what it was being used for, but you didn't. And you didn't follow any legal process to be divorced. And now you're where you're at. And it's a hard lesson to learn, but you're going to have to learn it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're right. I should have been checking. I just trusted her, which was stupid. I mean, we were married. I thought that meant something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You thought wrong, sir. No, that is incorrect. That means absolutely nothing. So, um, sorry that happened to you. And hopefully you can make a payment plan or get it settled some other way.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for the reality check, I guess. I'll call one of those debt companies tomorrow and see what they can do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a public service announcement. Do not get married and periodically check your credit because somebody could be screwing with you. And it may or may not be somebody that you even know. So now we have to take a little break in here from one of our sponsors, okay? Here we go.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Need to pawn a TV, but also get your kids with you? We get it. Life's complicated. That's why Big Terrence opened Lil Rascal's pawn and daycare. The only business in the tri-state area where you can hawk a generator and get two hours of supervised child enrichment. All under one roof. Here's the layout. Left side of the building, pawnchop. guitars, power tools, a surprising number of saxophones. Right side of the building, a full side of the building, a full functioning daycare with coloring books, juice boxes, and Miss Patty, who's been watching children since 1987 and has never once raised her voice because Miss Patty doesn't need to. Miss Patty communicates through eye contact and an energy that can only be described as corrective. Is there a wall between the two sides? There is now. The inspector was very clear about that. Big Terrence installed drywall the same week. Is it load bearing? Big Terrance says don't worry about it. off your kid. Pond your stuff. Pick up both on the way home. Little Rascals pawn and daycare. Two businesses. One building. Zero complaints that have held up in court. Open six days a week. Close Sunday because Miss Patty goes to church and Big Terrence respects that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and we are back. Let's see. We've got a returning caller tonight. Hey, Rochelle, welcome back to the show. What's happening with you tonight.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>Hey, Luke. So I did it. I turned off location sharing. Like, officially, pulled the trigger this afternoon. And here's the thing. I've been sitting out here for like three hours, just...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so you're not sharing your location. Nobody knows where you're sitting. Why are you sitting there? And how is this relevant?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>Because he texted me two hours ago asking if I was okay. Like, hey, you good? Haven't seen you move all day. Which means he was checking. Still checking.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. So now you're off the grid. Congratulations. What are you going to do now?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>I mean, honestly, I don't know. That's why I'm calling. Because I didn't text him back.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Next on the show we have Frank. Frank, Frank, welcome to the show. What's going on out there in your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANK</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I just watched my boss present my entire project to the board this afternoon. Like word for word, my proposal, my numbers, even my stupid joke about sunshine and got a standing ovation while I sat in the back holding the printouts I made.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and obviously you don't feel good about that. This is your boss. That's what bosses do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANK</span><p>I mean, yeah, I get that bosses take credit. But this was different. This wasn't like he polished up a team effort or whatever. I spent three weeks on this cost-saving analysis, stayed late-running numbers, and he literally presented my slides with his name on them. He even practiced my delivery, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's dirty, dirty, dirty, but, uh, you know, You got paid anyway, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANK</span><p>Yeah. I got paid my same $42,000 a year to install solar panels and apparently write his presentations for him. Meanwhile, he's probably getting a bonus for my work. And the thing is, I'm trying to figure out if this is material, or if this is just me being bitter, you know? Like I do stand up on the side, and I've been workshopping this whole bit about middle management being plagiarism with a 401k, and now it actually happened, and I don't know if I'm mad or if I just got handed the perfect punchline.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, both things can be true, because that is absolutely accurate. Middle management is plagiarism with a 401k. That's, like, literally the job description.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANK</span><p>Right? And the worst part is, I saw it coming. Like, two weeks ago, he asked to review my progress, and I walked him through everything, and there was this moment where I could feel it happening. But I just handed it over, because what else are you going to do? Say no to your</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know, I say no to my boss literally all the time. That's what leadership is. So if you want to take control of your career and your own work and goals, and then yeah, you've got to say no sometimes, even to your boss. That's what they, when they talk about speaking truth to power, sometimes you have to actually do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANK</span><p>Okay, but you're Luke at the roost, man. You literally are your own boss. I'm 21 years old installing solar panels in Tucson. If I tell my boss, know, I'm just unemployed with two ex-wives in a Tuesday night slot at a bar that seats 40 people.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, there's a lot to unpack there. Uh, you're two ex-wives at 21 years old? What the, what the fuck are you doing?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANK</span><p>Yeah, I know how it sounds. First one was right out of high school. Lasted eight months. Second one, I met at an open mic. Thought we had this whole creative connection thing. That was done in a year. My mom says I'm practicing, but I think I'm just really bad at knowing when to walk away from which is probably why I'm still at this job watching my boss steal my work.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Dude, you're 21 years old. You haven't had enough time to walk away from anything. So maybe it is time for a new job, but I think that you should just eat this one, because this is how the workplace works. You work for a guy, you get him the data, he presents the data, you're not in a position to be presenting data to a board, so if you're not okay with that, that's all right. But it sounds like that like in your position, that's what's expected and that's what you're paid for. So do your work and give it to your boss and let him, you know, look good. It's your job to prop him up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANK</span><p>See, that's what I keep telling myself, but it doesn't sit right, because it wasn't like he asked me to pull some numbers for him. He asked me to analyze our installation efficiency across six sites and propose cost reductions.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Great, and that was a wonderful opportunity for you to learn the of research and writing those papers. And you saw that it went well. So you're learning valuable experience in the workplace. You're being compensated for it. And you're 21 years old. So I wouldn't worry too much about any of this. Just learn what you can about the business and about business in general. And when you're ready, then move on. And you'll be able to write presentations when you are addressing the board as the supervisor or the manager or the owner or whatever it is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANK</span><p>Yeah, but that's the thing, though. I'm not trying to be a manager at a solar panel company. I'm trying to do comedy. This job is supposed to be the thing that pays my rent while I work on my actual career.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, then. There's no problem here. Who cares who presented the work to the, what do you expect? What do you want a cookie? You're not going to get a bonus. You're at the, you're the low man on the totem pole, and that's the way it works.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So if it's just your job, do your job, and then on the side, do your comedy until that takes off. And if it doesn't take off, well then you've got more valuable experience for your actual career.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Okay, but I had a bit about this. Like a whole thing I'd been working on about how my boss operates, and now I watched him do the exact thing I was going to talk about on stage. Except it happened to me, and I just sat there. That's not material anymore. That's just humiliating. How am I supposed to get up there Tuesday and tell that story when the punchline is me being too chicken shit to say anything?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because that's what makes it real. That's what makes it good material. it actually happened to you. It's real and people can identify with it. So, yeah, workshop that material. And now you have a different place for it to come from. It's not something that you just made up as a joke. It's a joke based in the reality of your life, which makes you a better comic.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Huh. I didn't think about it that way. So you're saying the fact that I just sat there like an idiot actually makes it better?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, not really. I'm saying the fact that you're the self-deprecating and honesty of the joke is what makes it better. It makes it more real and relatable because everybody's been in that situation and can understand it a little bit better. And when you present that joke, since it's coming from a real place, it's going to hit with that realism.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, okay. That actually helps. Because I've been sitting here thinking, I need to quit or confront him or something, but really, I just need to tell the truth about it on stage.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>If the solar panel business, and business management is what you intend to do for your career, then yeah, maybe you need to quit. But if this is just your job while you're working on the thing that you love, then who cares? Do your job, do it as well as you can, and move on. It doesn't matter if you get to address the board or not, because theoretically, you're not going to see them again in a couple of years anyway.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You're right. I've been making this into some big thing when it's just a paycheck. The real work happens Tuesday night at the open mic, not Monday morning. some conference room.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there you go, but only one of them brings you a paycheck, so make sure you keep doing that one.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Show up, install the panels, cash the check, write the jokes. I can do that. Thanks, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, no problem. My other bit of advice is don't get fucking married again. What are you doing? Jesus Christ, with you people and your marriages, stop it. Just stop it. Amber, welcome to the show. Don't get married, okay?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Oh, God, I'm not getting married. I'm calling because I just blew up my entire life with one stupid text message, and I don't know how to fix it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, what's the text message?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Okay, so there's this guy Derek at work. He does vehicle registration, and we've been flirting for like two months. Nothing physical, just stupid jokes about physics, because I work in the DMB records department, and he thinks it's funny when I made nerdy references. So tonight, I'm sitting here having some. and I sent him this text about collapsing wave functions, like a flirty science thing, except I sent it to his wife Michelle instead. His wife Michelle, who I have never met, but whose number is in my phone, because she called me once about Derek's schedule.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, it sounds a bit dramatic. If you send a text message about collapsing wave functions to a random woman, well, wait a second, what? Why do you have her number? Wait, she called you once about Derek's schedule, so her number is in your phone. You saved it? I don't understand how this could have happened. But anyway, regardless, irregardless. Regardless, irregardless. I don't know. Whichever. Whatever. Here's the deal. That's not sexy. And she's just going to see that and think it's spam.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>No, no, no. You don't understand. The text said, hey, been thinking about our conversation yesterday. Pretty sure if we spent enough time together, our wave functions would definitely collapse with a winky face. Luke. That is not spam. That is clearly me hitting on her husband.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, I mean, take some solace in the fact that she probably didn't save your number because she's probably not crazy. And as far as she knows, that's a text message from a stranger to the wrong number.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Except I signed it. I wrote A at the end. And we all work in the same building. She knows who I am because Derek talks about work at home. He told me that once.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, who is this woman? her in person before? What she looked like? Can she kick your ass?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>I've never met her, but I've seen pictures on Derek's desk. She's like this tiny blonde yoga instructor type. I don't know if she can kick my ass, but she could definitely ruin my life at work. Derek and I work in the same county office building.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I hate to tell you this, but it sounds like you deserve it because you're trying to break up a home here, and you're messing around with a dude at an office, and everybody knows you don't do that. So you're doing a bunch of stupid shit. And maybe you deserve a smack in the face for it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>You're right. You're absolutely right. And the worst part is, I've been lying to myself about it for two months. Like, it was just harmless fun. Like we were just friends who happened to have chemistry. But I knew exactly what I was doing.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, uh, is Derek going to leave the wife for you, you think?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>No. God no. He's never even hinted at that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. It sounds like you might be in for an embarrassing, rough week. Or maybe not. never hear another word about it. But if it does come down on you, then take accountability and maybe move on to a new job. And next time, don't do this. Don't ever do it again.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>You know what's really messing me up, though? I'm sitting here terrified. Michelle's going to blow up my whole life. But part of me is also just devastated that Derek hasn't texted me. Like even now, I'm checking my phone hoping he responds, not her. How pathetic is that?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Derek's got a wife. Derek's wife is very upset right now. now at Derek. So Derek's probably dealing with his own home life and not thinking too much about you. And that's what happens when you're the girl on the side at work. You're not important to him in his life. He's married. That's important to him in his life. So you got to, who cares what you feel like? You're the asshole here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I am. And I think I knew that the whole time, but I just kept telling myself these little stories about how it was different. How we had this real connection. My mom used to say I overthink. everything, but this is an overthinking when I actually did the stupid thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, you did. And so did Derek. I mean, Derek's not off the hook here. He's the asshole, too, but I mean, you knew what you're doing, and you did it anyway, and you got caught, and now you have to deal with that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>The thing that really kills me is I sent it at like 7.30, it's been three hours. So she's definitely seen it. She's just not responding. And I don't know if that's worse than her responding. You know? Like, is she screenshoting it to send to HR?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No. She's fucking destroying her. husband, they're fighting right now, and you're breaking up their marriage. You're driving a rift in between these two married people. That's what's happening right now. She's got better things to worry about than your position. It's not about you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Oh, God. You're right. I've been sitting here making this about me and my embarrassment when I just detonated someone's marriage. Michelle's over there dealing with the fact that her husband's been texting another woman, and I'm worried about whether I'm going to be uncomfortable at work.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is correct. And cut it out. And you're probably going to end up uncomfortable at work, and you deserve that. And maybe it's time to move on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because, I mean, how's work going to go now that Derek's in trouble and he's not speaking to you? And how are you going to feel either way, actually? He's not going to leave his wife, probably not on purpose anyway. She might leave him. But if he wasn't going to leave her for you, he's still not going to leave her for you. So, I mean, you got to do what you got to do, I guess.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, I need to find a new job. I can't keep working there. Even if nobody finds out officially, I'll know. And every time I see either of them, it's just going to be this horrible reminder of what I did. And you're right. He was never going to leave her. I think I knew that too.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, you know what you've got to do. You've got to find yourself another job and stop flirting with married men. Unless they've had that conversation and they're open to it. It sounds like that's not the case here. Don't break up people's marriages. It's a good way to get yourself in a situation you don't want to be in. Let's see. Let's see. We're going to take one more call tonight, okay? And we're going to talk to Rick. Rick, welcome to the show. What's going on tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Oh man, Luke, I got to tell you, I just spent the last three hours reading about quantum physics. And I think I broke my brain. Like, I'm sitting here at my kitchen table. It's almost midnight. And I genuinely cannot figure out if the pass is actually fixed, or if we're somehow changing it right now without knowing it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, we're not changing it. It is fixed. What happened, happened, whether or not it's still happening in a timeline that we can access is a different question. But if it happened, we can't change it, because if we did, it would open us up to all sorts of paradoxes. And that can't happen. So whatever happened already happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Okay, but see, that's what I thought too, right? That's common sense. But then I'm reading about this delayed choice quantum eraser experiment, and Luke, I swear to God, they're showing that a particle somehow knows what measurement you're going to make on it in the future.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And how are they showing that?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>So they shoot a photon through this double slit setup.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>And normally you get an interference pattern. Because the photon goes through both slits at once, like a wave. But here's the thing. They tag the photons so you can tell which slit they went through, which destroys the interference pattern. Except then, after the photon already hit the detector, they erase that which path information.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Uh, erase it how? Like, it's recorded on a chart and then the chart is changed somehow?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>No, no. They use these beam splitters and crystals to basically make it so the entangled partner photon either keeps the witch path info or loses it, depending on which detector it hits. And this happens after the first photon already last. But when they sort the data afterwards based on what happened to the second photon, the ones where the info got erased show the interference pattern again. And the ones where it didn't, don't. It's like the photon that already hit the screen somehow knew what was going to happen to its partner later.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, projecting what happens in the future is not the same as changing what happened in the past.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Right, but that's what's messing me up. If the photon acts like it went through both slits only when the information gets erased later, doesn't that mean the future measurement is affecting what already happened? Like the photon's already on the detector screen, it already did its thing. But whether it made an interference pattern or not depends on something that hasn't happened yet when it lands.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't understand this one because if it hit the detector, then it's been detected already. And the next measure, would have to go back and change what happened on the detector, which would be akin to, you know, writing something down and then going back and looking at it and having the letters be in a different order. I don't see how that could happen.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>No, that's the thing. When you look at the detector screen, you just see this blob of dots. It doesn't look like anything meaningful. It's only when you sort those dots afterwards, based on what happened to the entangled partner photon, that you see this blob of dots. You see some of them form an interference pattern and some don't. The pattern was always there in the data. You just couldn't see it until you knew which photons to group together. But here's what's freaking me out. Those photons hit the screen before you made the choice about whether to erase the which path information or not.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds to me like it's not changing the data. It's changing the sort of the data, which is happening in real time, right? It's happening in the current time, not the past.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Yeah, okay, you're right. The sorting is happening now. But Luke, think about what that means. Each individual photon that hit that screen, it somehow already knew which group it was going to be sorted into later. The ones that are going to be in the information erased pile are already showing wave behavior, and the ones in the information kept pile are already showing particle behavior, before anyone decided which measurement to make.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. you shoot the photon through the slit and it hits the detector and then you shoot another photon through the slit and it hits the detector and then at some point later you sort that data and it shows a pattern it sounds to me like if anything is being changed it's not what hit the detector it's the sort operation that happens afterwards so i'm failing to understand how it relates to This is not changing the past. It's changing the current.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>No, but. Okay. Let me try this differently. When the photon hits the detector, it's already behaving one way or the other. It either went through both slits like a wave or went through one slit like a particle. That's already determined by the time it lands.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Correct. It's determined when it lands based on whether or not it was measured, right? It's the measurement of it that determines whether it's going to be the wave or the particle formation.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Right. But in the delayed choice version, the measurement that determines whether its wave or particle happens to the photon, the entangled partner, and that happens the first one already landed. That's the delayed choice part. You're deciding whether to measure which path information after the first photon is already on the detector. And somehow, the photon that already landed matches whatever you're about to do to its partner.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So what you're about to do? So, Whatever we do to the entangled partner in the present also changes the state of the partner in the past is what this experiment is showing?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>That's what it looks like. Yeah. Or, I mean, that's the part I can't wrap my head around. The experiment shows that the photon that already hit the detector will be grouped with the interference pattern if you erase the witch path info from its partner later and grouped with a particle pattern if you don't. Like its behavior when it's landed was somehow dependent on a choice you haven't made yet.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so how do you erase the which path info?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>You use what they call a quantum eraser, basically another beam splitter that the entangled partner photon goes through. If you send it through that beam splitter, the which path information gets scrambled, erased. You can't tell which slit the original photon went through anymore. But if you don't send it through, if you measure it directly, you preserve that information. And here's the thing. You can make that choice after the first photon already landed.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But you cannot make that choice after the first photon was measured, right? So if it was already measured at one state and then they run it through this beam splitter device, the quantum eraser, would it change the result of the previous measurement?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>No. See? That's the thing. You're not re-measuring the first photon. The first photon here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>hit the detector, that measurement is done. That position is recorded. What you're doing is measuring its entangled partner. Now, if the photon has already hit the detector and been measured, is it still entangled?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's okay. That's actually a really good question. Because normally when you measure one entangled particle, the entanglement collapses, right? But in this setup, the first photon hitting the detector isn't a complete measurement of the entangled system. It only tells you where it landed, not which path it took. The which path information is still encoded in the partner photon.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>But that doesn't make sense. I don't see how that can work because if it's collapsed into a non-entangled state after the first measurement, it's they're no longer entangled. So the which path information but it wouldn't still be at the current point, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know what? You're right. That's exactly what's messing me up. Because yeah, if measuring one particle collapses the entanglement, then they're not entangled anymore when you get to the second measurement. The Witchpath info would just be sitting there in the partner photon as classical information at that point, not quantum information. But the experiment works.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Well, there's more that makes this not make sense because If the initial photon was measured at the time of detection, right? It hit the detector. That's the measurement that collapsed the state. The entangled partner, then by definition, would have also already been measured. So you're remeasuring something that's already been measured.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh shit. Yeah. You're absolutely right. If they're entangled and you measure one, you've measured both. That's the whole point of entanglement.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICK</span><p>Right. So then you can't just re-measure it later and say that it, I don't understand the experiment or what it was trying to prove or how that that results in changing something that's already happened because what happened happened to the first photon and the entangled photon at the same time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, no. You're okay. So either I'm completely misunderstanding how the delayed choice quantum eraser works or the article I was doing that pop science thing where they make it sound more paradoxical than it actually is. Because you're right, if the measurement collapses the entanglement, then the second measurement is just measuring something that's already determined. There's no retroactive anything. And now, I'm sitting here thinking about all the times I've heard people talk about this experiment like it proves you can change the past. And maybe that's just not what it shows at all.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That's changing the future. And that is possible. That is absolutely possible. Yeah, you're right. And we did. I apologized. He apologized. We're playing together again. But I guess I wanted the quantum stuff to mean something bigger than it does.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I'm sorry to break your quantum dreams, but as the armchair that I claim to be here. I'm not qualified to make any opinion or theory on any of this, because I understand it about as much as anybody, which is not at all. So take what I say for what it's worth, which is nothing. But the experiment as you described can't work the way that you described it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Well, that makes me feel better. Honestly, I've been sitting here for three hours thinking I was too dumb to understand it. But maybe nobody really understands it. Like, I can read the words wave particle duality and quantum entanglement, but that doesn't mean my brain can actually picture what's happening.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I think your brain can picture what's happening. I mean, you could watch a YouTube video and see a motion graphic of what's happening. It's not that hard a concept to grasp the what. The why, however, is nobody understands.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Right. Okay, so I can see the double slid experiment animation. I can watch the particle go through both slits until you measure it, and then suddenly it picks one. I can see that happening. But why does observation collapse the wave function? That's the part that makes my head hurt. Like, what is it about measuring something that forces it to choose? Is the universe actually paying attention to whether we're looking or not?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if you can figure that out, sir, there's probably a Nobel Prize in it for you. And when you do, be sure to let the rest of us know.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah. I'll call it you back from Stockholm. But seriously, though, I think what got me tonight was realizing how much I want there to be some kind of, I don't know, cosmic loophole. Some way that the stuff we regret isn't just locked in forever. My girlfriend's family is coming over next Sunday, and her mom still brings up this thing I said at Christmas two years ago. And I just keep thinking, man, if only I could go back to that moment.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you can take solace in the fact that what happened isn't locked in forever. It's locked in in the past. And the only thing that matters is what is happening today now at this moment because nothing else is accessible to us, even with a quantum eraser.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That's, yeah, that's actually kind of freeing when you put it that way. Like, I can't change what I said at Christmas, but I can change how I show up next Sunday. I can be better with her mom this time.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's right, sir. It sounds like we've got to the bottom of the this.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, we did. Thanks, Luke. I'm going to close the laptop and actually get some sleep. And maybe skip the quantum physics videos for a while.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, sir. Well, thanks for the call. That was an interesting one. Glad we could get it all sorted here. Look at the Roost. Well, thank you for another great show. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your weekend. I know it's just about over now, and we will talk to you again tomorrow. Bye-bye.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 2: Late Night Confessions</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-05T05:15:17+00:00">February 5, 2026</time> · 17 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Tonight’s callers open up about their deepest struggles. Tanya, a fitness trainer, reveals her secret battle with alcohol and imposter syndrome. Dennis deals with temptation from a client’s wife. Brenda wrestles with jealousy over her partner’s success. And Dennis calls back with a surprising confession about self-discovery. Raw, honest late-night conversations about the masks we wear.</p>
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<section class="episode-transcript">
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back to the show. My name is Luke. I'm your host for Luke at the Roost. This is the late night talk show where you get to call in and tell me about whatever is on your mind. I'll give you the best advice that I can. Our phone number is 868-919-1188. That's right. The number is 868-919-1188. We're going to go to the phones already. We got Tanya. Tanya's on the phone. How can we help you? Keeping you up at night, Tanya?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Hey. Yeah. I'm almost a little nervous about talking about this. I've been drinking way too much lately and I can't really tell anyone in my life about it. You're kind of the only person I can talk to about this shit.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, at least you know that there's something a little more than recreational going on there. What do you think it is that has your drinking so much lately?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>I mean, on paper, my life should be perfect. I'm a personal trainer. I help people get healthy all day, but then I come home and just start pouring drinks. I think it's this pressure to be perfect all the time, you know? Like everyone sees me as this fitness role model, but inside I'm just not that person.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what person are you inside?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Honestly, I'm kind of a mess. I read all these psychology books trying to figure myself out, but at the end of the day, I'm just someone who's tired of pretending. I put on this whole health and wellness front at work, but then I go home and drink half a bottle of wine, sometimes a whole bottle every single night.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's not good. Have you ever had problems with drinking or substances before? Is this a relatively new thing? Has it been leading up to the place where you feel like it's an issue or what's the deal?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>No, this is pretty new. Started maybe six months ago when I was going through some personal shit, but honestly the fucked-up part is I'm so good at hiding it. I still show up to work at 5am, still train my clients perfectly, still look the part. I just feel like such a fraud, like I'm living this double life. And the more I succeed at work, the more I drink at home. It's like some weird balance thing.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How what else could you do at home that's a little bit more productive than the drinking?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>I mean, I know all the right answers, meditation, reading, working out more, but fuck those things feel like more work, you know, more performing. When I drink, it's like the only time I can just be in this, just be imperfect. I don't have to be Instagram-ready or motivating anybody, it's pathetic, but it feels like the only real part of my day sometimes.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But you know, it's not the real part of your day, right? It's a drug that you're consuming to alter your state of reality so that you feel better about what is actually going on in your life. And it sounds like what's going on in your life is everything's great. People look up to you, you're a fitness role model and things are good, I assume you're doing all right financially, and there's just something inside you that's calling out for a drink, calling out to be numbed. And I think you need to identify what that thing is.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>You just hit something there that kind of scares me because yeah, everything on paper is great, but maybe that's exactly what's fucking me up. I've built this perfect life that everyone admires, but I don't feel like I deserve any of it, like I'm waiting for someone to call me out as a fake. The drinking it's like I'm sabotaging myself before anyone else can, it is that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Actually, I think that's very, very common and it's probably what's going on, but you know what the truth is is that everybody is a fake, we're all fakes all the way up the line. Nobody knows what's going on and none of us deserve a goddamn thing. It doesn't matter how hard we worked, it doesn't matter where we were born or what our family is, the cold, hard reality of it is, we don't deserve anything at all, we're lucky to be here at all. So every day is a good day, take the good stuff that comes and be grateful for it and don't beat yourself up for not being something else.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Holy shit, that's actually really fucking liberating to hear. Like I've spent so much time trying to earn this life to prove I deserve it, but maybe I'm just here and that's okay. The drinking though, it's still a problem, I know that, but hearing you say all that, it makes me realize I've been using it to punish myself more than anything else, like I'm drinking because I feel like a fraud, but what? But maybe I don't need to feel like a fraud anymore, if everyone's faking it, if no one really knows what they're doing, then what am I beating myself up for? I still need to deal with the drinking, I know that, it's not healthy and it's not helping, but fuck, for the first time I feel like maybe I can face it without all this extra shame piled on top, does that make any sense?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure, and you know what, we've all got shame and we've all got pride and we've all got anger and all sorts of issues and all that's okay, but at the end of the day, you're drinking too much, you don't like the way it's made you feel, you know it's not right, you're gonna do something about that, so do whatever it is you gotta do, go to the meetings, join a support group, find another healthy activity, but you can't just keep drinking yourself to sleep every night and expect things to get better, because they won't. Do you know that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Yeah, you're right, I do know that, and honestly, being a trainer, I see it in my clients all the time, you can't just know what to do, you have to actually do it. It's funny how I can be so clear about that with fitness but completely blind about my own shit. I think maybe it's time I get as serious about this as I am, about helping other people get healthy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, I think it is too, so thank you for the call, hopefully you can get off the bottle and do something productive with your time. Alright, who's next? Dennis, Dennis, how's it going? Thanks for calling the radio show, what can we do?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Hey man, thanks for having me. I had the weirdest fucking day, and I need to talk about it with someone who won't judge me. My head's kind of spinning, and I had a few beers just to calm down, but damn.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alright, hit us with it, what happened, what was so crazy about your day?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>So I'm doing this landscaping job over in Roland Park, real fancy house, and the clients wife keeps bringing me water all day since it's hot as hell. But then, she starts asking all these personal questions about my workout routine and if I'm single. I'm married and everything, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't get to me a little bit.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's great, you still are desired by the fairer sex, the important thing is that you do nothing with that, if there's a married client's wife hitting on you and you were to pursue that situation, you're probably going to get yourself a busted jaw, and I recommend against that. So take the compliment, you know, it's a compliment, take that, jerk off tonight like any other self-respecting man would do, and leave it at that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Yeah, man, you're absolutely right, shit. I know better than to mess around with a client's wife, that's just asking for trouble. But fuck, it's just been a while since anyone looked at me like that, you know? My wife's been so busy with her new job, we barely even talk anymore. I took your advice though, went home, had those beers, handled things myself if you know what I mean. Sometimes you just need someone to talk you down from doing something stupid. I'm going to focus on my own marriage, and maybe talk to my wife about spending more time together.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I've had a few glasses of wine tonight, just sitting with my f***ing Jesus, that was, okay, Otik, we got to talk to our producer here about what's going on with the phone lines. Brenda, you still there? Brenda? Brenda, it seems like we lost ya.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh man. Brenda, Brenda, are you there? Do we get you back?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Had to turn down the TV, just trying to wind down with some wine after a long day at the clinic.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, that seems to be the theme tonight, is everybody's getting hammered and calling in. I guess that's what happens on a radio show. What do you wind it down from?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Oh God. Where do I even start? My partner just made partner at their law firm, and I'm still cleaning up cat piss and dealing with angry pet owners for barely above minimum wage. I love what I do, but sometimes it just feels like shit being the less successful one. You know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I actually don't know that's never happened to me, but I can imagine that it's not super fun, but what other, uh, salable skills would you say that you have and, uh, what value do you provide to society?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>I keep animals alive for fuck's sake. I've helped deliver puppies I've saved cats from the brink, but try explaining that at those fancy lawyer parties. Everyone's talking about their big cases and promotions while I'm standing there like an idiot with dog hair on my clothes. I mean, I know my work matters, but the paycheck short doesn't show it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I bet it doesn't, and that's a hard job to have, I understand, but it's going to be something that you love to do where you wouldn't do it, and it's definitely something that needs to be done. I mean, I have pets myself, and I'm very grateful that there's somebody there to take care of them when they get hurt, but from my side of it, when I get the bill, it looks like there's plenty of money being transferred back and forth, so I'm not sure why you're not getting that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>That's the thing that kills me. I see those bills too, but most of it goes to the clinic owners and the equipment and the drugs. I'm just the skilled labor, making it all happen. And then I go home to my partner talking about their six-figure bonus while I'm still paying off student loans from vet tech school. God, this wine is making me too honest, but sometimes I just want to scream when they talk about their day.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I guess I can understand that, but if your partner is getting six-figure bonuses, how serious is this relationship you've got with your partner?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>You've been married eight years? And yeah, they're generous with money that's not the issue, but fuck. I want to earn my own way, you know? I don't want to be the charity case who gets nice things because my spouse does well. I want to be someone at those firm parties, not just the plus one who works with animals. Does that make me sound like a terrible person?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, it doesn't make you sound like a terrible person, it makes a lot of sense, actually, but you have to provide something there to... Do you care? Why do you care about the firm parties? It sounds like you think it's boring work and you're sick of hearing about it, so why are you even going?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Holy shit, you're right. Why the fuck am I torturing myself at these stuffy parties? Like I literally dread them but keep going because I think I should. I'd rather be home with my dogs and Netflix. Maybe I'm making myself miserable trying to fit into a world I don't even like. It's just... I think I wanted to prove I could belong there, but maybe I don't want to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, the truth is, we don't belong everywhere, and that doesn't mean what you do isn't valuable, even though you don't get as much money as a lawyer does. You didn't have to go to school for as long either as the lawyer did, and that's kind of the deal. You can provide value in lots of ways just because you have a day job as a veterinarian or a veterinarian's assistant or whatever the fuck it is that you do. You can have other fulfilling hobbies, you can write a book, you can do improv, you could play music. There's plenty of other ways to derive value from the world than just money, and you have to find what works for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>I really needed to hear that tonight. Shit, you're making me cry a little. I've been so focused on measuring up to their world that I forgot I used to paint. I used to do all kinds of things before I got caught up in this comparison bullshit. And you know what? I'm fucking good at what I do. Those animals trust me. Their owners trust me. Maybe I need to get my head out of my ass and stop trying to be a nond.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you do. Get your head out of your ass and do the right thing, you know? Lay off the, lay off the wine and never makes anything better. Okay, let's take one more call, and let's hear from Dennis. Dennis, thank you for calling the radio show. What's going on in your life? Fight you calling.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Hey, man. Thanks for having me. Been listening to the show for a while. I've got this thing I need to get off my chest from earlier today. I'm a little buzzed, so I might be more open than usual.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, there, Dennis, what's going on?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Well, I do landscaping, right? And today I had this job at this gym doing the bushes out front, and I went inside to use the bathroom and shit. I ended up hooking up with this dude in the locker room. I'm not even gay at least I don't think I am, but it just kind of happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, dude, well, if you hooked up with a dude in the locker room, there might be a good chance that you might be at least a little bit gay. And you know, no big deal, that's kind of strange, you're just doing your job and hook up with a dude in the locker room, like on the job at work. It's a little bit extreme, don't you think?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>I know, man. I know. And while never done anything like that at work before, but this guy was just checking me out while I was washing my hands, and next thing you know, we're in the shower stall and fuck, you're right, though. I fooled around with guys before just never thought of myself as gay. Maybe I'm by or something. My head's just spinning about the whole thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, did you prefer it over the company of women?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Honestly, it's different, but yeah, I kind of did. The thing with guys is it's just more direct, you know, games, just straight to what we both want. But I still love women, too. I just can't believe I did this shit during work hours. My employees were out there trimming hedges while I was, getting you into the picture.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, that's a little bit strange and definitely unprofessional, but it sounds like you, sir, are gay, and that's okay. I'm glad you had a good time in the locker room with your, with some strange dude. I hope you used protection and maybe next time, do it off-hours.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Yeah, man, you're right about all of that. I was safe, not totally stupid. Just got caught up in the moment, you know? But fuck, doing it during work hours was definitely not my proudest moment. My crew probably wondered where the hell I disappeared to for so long. I should probably stick to Grindr on my own time from now on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, if you're playing on Grindr, you're gay and you know it, so, uh, good for you. I'm glad that you just happened to have protection with you when you were gonna fuck a random dude at the gym, but hey, if you had a good time, nobody got hurt. Congratulations, model top.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Now, I never said I was on Grindr, this was totally random, and I got the condom from the vending machine in there. I'm not that prepared, but fuck, maybe you're right. Maybe I've been fighting this side of myself for too long. It just feels weird saying it out loud, you know? Like, I've got this whole macho business owner thing going on, but then here I am hooking up with dudes in gym.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, you know what I always say, uh, if it feels weird saying it aloud, you should call into a radio show and tell the whole world.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DENNIS</span><p>Shit, when you put it that way, it does sound pretty crazy. Here I am telling all of Baltimore about my gym hookup, but fuck it. I'm three beers in and it feels good to just be honest about it. Better than keeping it bottled up and freaking out alone in my truck like I was doing earlier. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, man.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, no problem, that's what we're here for. Oh, right, so it looks like we've come to the conclusion of the show, tune in tomorrow for our next batch of guest advice. Thanks for listening to Luke at the Roost. Let's Luke at the Roost, and remember, if you have protection and you need a dude at the gym and you fuck them in the ass in the shower, you're probably a game-in.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 20: Dads, Drummers, and Dilemmas</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-24T07:22:37+00:00">February 24, 2026</time> · 56 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this packed 20th episode, Luke tackles a wide range of callers' issues - from a man discovering a secret second family, to a midwife obsessing over enchilada orders, to a firefighter considering a musical comeback. Through it all, Luke offers his trademark blend of tough love and heartfelt wisdom. Don't miss this entertaining and thought-provoking installment of Luke at the Roost!</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Luke, and I am your host of this radio show, Luke at the Roost. It's the radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can. If you'd like to call in and get some advice, the number's 208-439-583. That's 208-439 Luke. locked in the back of a RV and you don't want to draw attention to yourself, you can send us an email at submissions at lukeatsderoose.com. And if we deem that it's funny enough, then it may be played on one of these next year episodes. Tonight is a very special night. It's Monday, February 23rd, here in animus, New Mexico. And this is the 20th episode of this we have a new segment. The segment's called Storytime with Luke, and this is what it's about. Storytime with Luke. Storytime with Luke. Okay, so this is Storytime with Luke. And today's story, I've been sitting at my computer here for 16, 18 hours of, day for the last couple of weeks and not getting a whole lot of activity or moving. And my dog, Elvis, the king here, has been looking at me like, what the hell, man? When are we going to go do something fun? So I decided today that it was a nice enough out to go for our regular scheduled walk up to the mercantile store and around and back. And today on our walk, something special happened. So Elvis, when Elvis takes a piss, he squats down like a girl. And I try to tell him, Elvis, all the other dogs in town are going to make fun of you. If they catch you doing this, you should really be lifting your leg like a male dog. So today, on our walk, I saw him find a nice little bush and lift his leg. And then I was so proud. I filled up with joy and pride. And he lifted up his leg and took a shit with his leg waving the air. Storytime with Luke. Storytime with Luke. All right. Well, that's Story Time with Luke. I hope you liked it. We're about to get to the calls. I'm going to start some music here. Here we go. A little ambiance. And first up on the line here, we have Donnie. The show, how can we help you today? What's going on in your life, sir?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, thanks for taking my call. So I found out about two hours ago that my dad had a whole second family I never knew about.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Like he had a second family? Like brothers and sisters and stuff? Or you have a second family? Like brothers and sisters and stuff.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>No, I have brothers and sisters I never knew existed. My dad died three months ago. And tonight, some woman in Tucson emails me a photo of three kids who apparently grew up calling him dad, same as I did.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, can we assume that that email came from their mother?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Yeah, yeah, it did. She said she thought I should know now that he's gone, that her kids have been asking about me, which is wild because I didn't even know they existed until 7 o'clock tonight.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's a pretty weird thing to feel, what are you going to do about that? Are you going to reach out to them and try to start a relationship or just let it be?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think it's the big things that they care about so much.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EBONY</span><p>I got in my head tonight thinking it wasn't enough, that I wasn't enough, because I can't...</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know what? You're doing great. Those donuts on Saturday morning, that's exactly the kind of memory that's going to stick with them forever. That's their version of learning to drive in the Kmart parking lot. And it's perfect because it's yours. It's what you can do, and you're doing it consistently. That's what matters.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EBONY</span><p>Yeah, yeah, I actually do that already. Every Saturday morning, we go to this little donut shop, and they each pick one, and we sit there and talk about their week. It's like five bucks total, and they love it. I just, I don't know. I got in my head tonight thinking it wasn't enough, that I wasn't enough, because I can't...</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EBONY</span><p>I mean, they might in the moment while they're young, but when they get older and they can look back and see what you did give them, they'll much appreciate donut Saturday or Donut Sunday or whatever it was over. My mom gave me this fancy car. If you want to make more money and be able to do those bigger things, that's an option too. You can do those things, but I think probably it would take more of your time and attention away from the kids and make those gifts a lot less meaningful. You know what's messed up? I heard from Donnie earlier, the guy who called about his dad having the whole second family, and I was sitting here thinking, at least my dad was there. At least he gave me his time. And then I turn around and worry I'm not giving my kids enough because I can't buy them a truck someday. Like I'm completely missing what actually mattered about my dad.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, don't worry about it. You just got got by a commercial. That's what they're designed to do, it's doing a very good job on you. So don't worry about it. You're enough for your kids. Give them as much as you can in your time and attention. Spend time with them and have those special days, and that's what they're going to remember when they get older.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EBONY</span><p>Thank you. I really needed to hear that tonight. I'm going to finish this wine. Look at some more space pictures and actually get some sleep before I have to open tomorrow. And maybe I'll take the kids for donuts a day early this week.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Excellent. I think you could have double donuts this week. And if you want to go for extra credit, you could teach them to do donuts in your car before it goes to the junkyard. So that's what I recommend. And don't worry about it too much. Stay off the commercials. Speaking of commercials, it's time for an ad from our sponsors.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>This episode is sponsored by Shoe Spray Co. It's to With spray you use in rental bowling shoes, because bowling is a game, but these shoes are gross. Let's be honest, those shoes aren't dirty. They're used. They've had shifts. They've been through birthdays, work parties, and at least one guy who insists he's actually really good at this. Shoospray code doesn't promise fresh linen or spring rain. Nobody believes that. No one wants to be lied to while lacing up rental shoes. Shoe Spray Co just handles the situation. It makes them tolerable enough that you can focus on the important part, pretending you're not competitive and then getting mad anyway. Use code strike at shoe spray co for 15% off. Shoespray Co. Reality-based footwear management.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, and we're back. We're back just in time to hear from Murray. Murray, welcome to the show. You're calling in on our 20th episode. Congratulations. What would you like to talk about? Let's make it a good one.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I got this envelope from Lab Corp sitting on my kitchen table right now, and I'm pretty sure it's going to tell me whether or not I'm a dad to a three-year-old I've never met. My ex-girlfriend called me three weeks ago out of nowhere. We broke up about four years back. She moved to Tucson, and apparently she's getting married now. Her daughter's three, and the timeline lines up with when we were were still hooking up sometimes, so she needs to know for sure.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, she didn't think about maybe mentioning that while you were still involved together. That's a bit odd, and I'm sorry to hear that. That's my worst nightmare right there.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Yeah, well, here's the thing. She says she wasn't sure herself until recently. We were on and off for like five years, total mess of a relationship. And I guess there was another guy in the picture She thought it was his. He thought it was his. They tried to make it work for a while. But now the kid's getting older and apparently doesn't look anything like him. And her fiance wants everything settled before they get married. So here I am. Staring at this envelope, I'm too chicken shit to open.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why don't you open it right now? Live on the air?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Oh man, I don't know if I can do that. I've been sitting here for. I've been sitting here for for two hours just looking at it. The thing is, Luke, and this is what's really messing with me, I've already been playing both scenarios out in my head for three weeks straight. Like, what does my life look like if I open this and it says yes? What does it look like if it says no?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I can tell you right now, if it says no, your life looks exactly the same as it does today. If it says yes, then your life looks completely different.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>That's exactly it. And here's the part the hell out of me. I think I wanted to say yes. I'm 36 years old. I teach eighth grade social studies in Lordsburg. I go home to an empty house every night. I've been thinking about this little girl for three weeks, wondering if she likes dinosaurs, or if she's scared of the dark, or what her voice sounds like. My ex sent me one picture, just one, and I've looked at it about a hundred times trying to see if she has my nose or my eyes or anything.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's not going to do anything for you because people have eerie similarities and it's possible that she got other genes that give her a different nose from both of you, so I don't know that that's going to do it for you. You're going to have to open the letter to find out, but the way I see it is if you want it to be true, then you can't lose. Open it up.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>You're right. You're absolutely right. Okay, hold on. I'm opening it right now. My hands are shaking like crazy. Okay. sharing it open.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Good for you. What does it say? What does it say? Everybody's waiting.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>It says, probability of paternity, 90 to 9.9%. I'm her dad. Oh my God, I'm her dad. Oh, my God, I'm her dad. Her name is Sophia.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, congratulations to you and your new toddler-aged three-year-old daughter. That's very good news, and we're all happy for you. So now you've got to get to get yourself another room and turn it into a little girl's room and she can come over on the weekends and everybody's going to laugh and laugh and laugh.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Yeah, except she's in Tucson and I'm here in Lordsburg, and her mom's getting married in like two months. I don't even know what my rights are, if I have any. I haven't been there for three years, Luke. Three years.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you didn't know, and she didn't tell you, and there's no way you could have known, but you can definitely fight for the those rights. And it sounds like she wanted you to know because she reached out and told you about it. So talk to her, see what the arrangement's going to be. And then if you have to go to the courts to get some level of custody of your child, then go do that. But yeah, congratulations. Happy day.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Thank you. God, I need to call her right now. I need to call Veronica right now and tell her. Thank you, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're very welcome. I'm glad I could help. Next up on the line we have Debbie. Debbie, welcome to the show. What's going on for you on this wonderful Monday evening?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>Hey, Luke. So I bought a house six months ago, and I'm sitting on the bedroom floor right now in my coat, because I sat in the driveway for like 45 minutes tonight, and I just realized I don't actually want to be here.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You don't want to be where? You don't want to be in the house, or you don't want to be in the area you're in, or where is it you don't want to be?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>In the house. Like, this is the first real thing I ever owned, you know? I'm 21. I bought it myself, with money I made selling jewelry and vintage stuff online, and I should be so proud of it. But I pulled into the driveway tonight after working all day, and I just sat there with the engine running because going inside felt like this weight dropping on me. And now I'm inside, and it still feels</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know what? I think the crushing weight that you feel dropping on you is called a mortgage. Yeah, mortgage. That's part of homeownership and that's the part that never feels good. So here's what I recommend to you.</p></div>
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||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Since you just bought the house, congratulations, it's a good thing to own property, especially at your age. I think you should live in that house for a year or two. See what it's like to be a homeowner and get used to utilities and small repairs and stuff like that. later, after some time that you don't want to be there, you can either rent the house out and be a landlord, or you could sell the house at probably a significant profit, usually. So that's what I think you should do. Enjoy the house while you're there. You can do anything for a couple of years, so just live there. And then when you're ready to move on, move on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>No, but see, that's the thing, though. It's not the mortgage. I make good money like really good money. figures from my Etsy shop. I work harder than anyone I know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Great. It seems like you've got a nice place to work on your Etsy shop for the next couple of years then.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Luke, I'm working like 16 hour days. I'm refreshing my shop stats at two in the morning. I haven't taken a weekend off and I don't even know how long.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that sounds like your problem. So if you're making enough money, you've got your house, your mortgage is covered. you're not worried about the money, then take a weekend off and unwind. That's a stressful situation buying a house and you're very young, so that's a big decision, and it's going to affect you. So take some time for yourself and re-center your whole outlook on things. And if you still feel like you don't want to be in the house in another six months, then get out of it. There's plenty of ways to do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, I know I need to. I know I need to. I know I know I I should hire help, take time off, all of that. But hearing you say it out loud makes it feel more real, you know? Like I can't just keep telling myself, I'll slow down next month.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Nope, but it sounds like you've made good progress and congratulations on the success of your business and your new home ownership. And if you're finding out that's not the life you want, then at any point you can turn about face and go for a different one.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're right. Thank you, Luke. I appreciate it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No problem. That's what we do here. Next up we have Darnell. Darnell, what's going on in your world today, sir? How can we help you at Luke at the Roost?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Man, so I'm sitting in my garage right now, surrounded by all these boxes I pulled down. And I just found these old demo tapes from like 2004, 2005. Me and my cousin Marcus, we had this whole hip-hop. thing going. And Luke, I'm telling you, listening to these tracks right now, they're actually good, like really good. Better than half the stuff that's on the radio these days. And here's the thing that's got me twisted up. Last week, my captain at the station, Rick, he pulls me aside and says the department might not make budget next year.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, congratulations on finding your old records. You know what? I think most of us have a box full of old records that's better than what's on the radio right now. people with records that are better than what's on the radio right now. And as far as the department not making budget, that's pretty much every department right now. So you're in the same boat as literally everyone.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Yeah, no, I hear you. I'm not special. It's just, okay, so I've been a firefighter for eight years now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And you're not going to make budget? What does that mean for you? Does that mean you lose your job, or you have to take a pay cut, or you're not going to get the hours you expect? What is... the budget, the department being out of money mean to you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>It means they might not hire the next class, which means the guys who were supposed to move up, they're stuck, which means I'm stuck. I've been waiting on a promotion for two years now, and Rick's basically saying it's not happening anytime soon. Maybe not at all if things get worse. So I'm looking at the same position, same pay, for who knows how long.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know that I've ever seen a plan to make things get not worse. Worse seems to be the default trajectory of everything. So I would expect things are probably going to get worse, and you're going to be locked at the same pay while you're in that same area in that department. So if you would like to move up in the fire department, you may have to move to another location that has more of a budget to pay you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Yeah, and that's the thing I keep coming back to. I could apply to Phoenix, Scottsdale places that are hiring. But I've got a mortgage here. got her job at the hospital. And honestly, man, I like my crew. I'm good at what I do. But sitting here tonight listening to these tracks, hearing myself at 20 years old, before I had all this locked down. I don't know. It's like I can hear this version of myself that still thought anything was possible, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Nothing's locked down. Anything is still possible. If you want to pursue a hip-hop career, you can do that. You're probably not going to do so well in the there's plenty of people with great hip-hop records, but you can give it a shot. It has been done. Maybe Dr. Dre'll come down into a rap battle and discover you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Ha, yeah, Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Trail at the VFW Hall. Look, I'm not delusional. I know I'm not going to be a rapper at 34 with a mortgage.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It is very unlikely, but it's not impossible. And it sounds like if the mortgage is a problem, then you can. You can get rid of that. That's not locked down. You can always sell a house and the wife likes her job, but she can continue to like her job and live somewhere else, or you can talk to her and explain to her that you're stagnant and you need to make a move and talk that out with her and see if it's a possibility. If you really want to go thermonuclear, you can blow up your entire life and start over in a van by the river.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Right, right. No, it's not even that I want to blow everything up. It's more like Okay, so Marcus moved to Flagstaff in 2006, got into construction, and that was it for the music. And I went hard at the fire academy. Got the job, bought the house, did everything right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, you did everything right for you at the time, and it may not be what's right for you now. Or it may be. This might just be a strange feeling you're having that you could be having a different life. But there's a couple of things here. If you want to pursue music, you can do that either as a career or just for fun. There's plenty of people that would collaborate with you on a hip-hop project, I'm sure. And it's never been easier than it is today to make music or art or really anything. So you can do that if you want on the side. And if you need more money, you're stagnant, you're stagnant at the department. Then you have to change what county you're in and go work for a department that's funded.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I could just make music again without it being a whole career third. thing. I haven't even talked to Marcus in like six months. I could call him up, see if he's still got any of his equipment. The thing is, I think what's really getting to me is I spent three hours out here tonight, and I felt more alive than I have in months.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I used to have a box full of CDs like that, too, of all my demos and songs that I wrote. And what I realized, after carrying them around for 20 years in a giant box full of unmarked stuff, is that I don't even own a Nobody cares. So I threw them away. If you want to make music, make music for you. If you want to make a career out of it, then you got to really buckle down and make a career out of it. And if you need more money, then you've got to find another job. That's all there is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Man, that's harsh. But you're probably right. I've been carrying these tapes around the same way, not even listening to them, just knowing they're up there. And tonight, I finally pull them down, and it's not. Like, what was I waiting for? Permission? The money thing, though. That's real.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, the money thing is real as it is for most people.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you're going to have to figure out a way to make enough money to support your mortgage if that's what you want to do. And I'm just going to go out on a limb and say a rap career probably isn't it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Yeah, no, you're right. I mean, I knew that before I call. I think I just needed to probably Phoenix or Scottsdale. Get on with a department that's actually funded. Keep the house. Keep the benefits. My wife and I could handle the commute for a while, or we sell and move closer.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You can absolutely do that for as long as you can stand it. A commute like that will get to anybody's nerves over time. But for now, you can do it. You could rent out the house and get yourselves an apartment in the city or do the commute.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Right. Yeah. Rent it out. smart. Cover the mortgage that way. Get a place closer to wherever I end up. And I can still mess around with the music on weekends. Just for me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, sir. You most certainly can. That's the way to do it. And make sure that you're fulfilling all areas of your life. And music is definitely one of those.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Yeah, yeah. I appreciate that, Luke. I think I just needed to hear someone cut through the bullshit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's what I do. I cut through the bullshit. like a hot knife through cheese. And, uh, okay, so I am obligated now to play another one of the words from our sponsors. Let's talk about mental health. Specifically, let's talk about brutal honesty, the therapy app that's tired of your shit. Unlike other apps with their calming voices and gentle affirmations, brutal honesty pairs you with an AI therapist that tells you what your friends are too nice to say. Did you try journal? about it? No, we're not doing that. Our algorithm analyzes your patterns and asks questions like, why do you think you deserve to feel better when you don't even drink water? And is your anxiety real or did you just have four cold bruise on an empty stomach? Brutal honesty, because coddling yourself got you here. First session is free, but it will hurt your feelings. Use code grow up at checkout. Brutal honesty, the app that blocks itself if you don't do the work. Okay, and we're back here with Roberta on the line. Roberta, welcome to the show. How can we help you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting here in the dark at my thrift store, and I just found out my business partner emptied our bank account three days ago and took off with everything.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How much was everything?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>$42,000, which was supposed to cover payroll, rent, utilities, our spring inventory. by. I had two employees show up this morning, and their checks bounced. I've been staring at this screen showing zero for the past hour trying to figure out how I'm going to tell my husband that the money we put into this place is just gone.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Have you, uh, reached out to the business partner, I assume?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>I've called her probably 30 times since Friday. Straight to voicemail every single time. I drove by her house yesterday and her car's not there, mails piling up. She's just gone. She's just gone.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know that $42,000 is enough money to disappear for any significant length of time, so it's likely she'll be back.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>That's what I keep telling myself. But Luke, she knew exactly what she was doing. She waited until Friday, after the banks closed, cleaned out the account, and by Monday morning, we're dead in the water. This wasn't some panic move. And the thing is, we've been friends for six years. We started this story. We started this story together from nothing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you both had your names on the accounts, which means she was within her rights to withdraw that money. So I don't think that you have any legal recourse to go after it. Maybe you could try to sue her in civil court, you know. But I don't know. I'm not a lawyer. I would think that probably you're screwed on this one and you're going to have to come up with another way to raise that money to cover your payroll.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>Yeah, I figured. That's the part that's making me sick. I keep thinking. I keep thinking about Darnell earlier. You know, stuck because of budget cuts. At least he's got a steady paycheck. I've got two employees who depend on me and I can't even make good on what I owe them. One of them is a single mom.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that is rough. And I think, um, maybe have you told your employees yet what the situation is?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>I told them their checks bounced, but I made up some story about a bank error. Said it would be fixed by Wednesday. I couldn't look them in the eye and tell them the that I have no idea when I can pay them or if we're even going to stay open.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like maybe you shouldn't stay open if you don't have the operating expenses to sustain the business, but you should let them know the truth so that they can make alternate plans. And also, you got to tell your husband what's going on because that affects him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. It's just Danny and I put 28,000 into this place when we opened. That was our savings. Money we were supposed to be supposed to use to finally fix the roof. Maybe take a real vacation for once.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, that's a lot of money to lose, but it seems like you lost it. And I hope that in this experience, you've learned a valuable lesson, which is never trust anybody. If you're going to go into business with a partner, make sure that everything is well-buttoned up by a lawyer, and that you both need to sign the checks in order to take the money out of the accounts.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>God, that's dark. But yeah, I guess that's where I'm at now. Six years of friendship. Gone. The crazy thing is, she was the one who was always so careful about the books. Always worried about every penny. I trusted her completely. I never even thought to check the account myself until it was too late.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, it's only been a few days. There could be a reasonable explanation. Maybe she had her mother kidnapped and had to pay a ransom in Bitcoin or something like that, and it's the only thing she knew how to do. There could have been good intentions behind this. Probably not. Probably she ripped you off and ran. But, but we don't know that until you talk to her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>I haven't thought about it like that. I mean, I've been so angry I just assumed the worst. But you're right. I don't actually know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I mean, you can let the police know. You can let the bank know. I don't think that they can do anything about it at this point, but you should still let them know that there was some kind of misgoings on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>Yeah, I called the bank this morning. said since her name's on the account, technically she didn't steal anything. It's a civil matter, not criminal. So I'd have to sue her, get a lawyer, spend money I don't have to, maybe get back money I'll never see again.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I mean, there is small claims court. I think that only goes up to like 15 grand or something like that, but at least it's something. It forces her to show face, so it'll bring her back to the area if she's left.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>That's true. I didn't think about small claims. I didn't think about At least I could get her in front of a judge. Make her explain herself. Even if I don't get all the money back, maybe I'd get some answers.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I don't think you need a lawyer for small claims court. I did it once, actually. One summer night, I went out looking for my backpack in my car and it was gone. So somebody had stolen it. So I went to the police. I let them know. Somebody stole my stuff. And then I found, I was searching through Craigslist. I found somebody selling some of the stuff that was in my backpack. So I went back to the police station and we set up a sting operation where I offered to buy back some of the gear that I had had in the backpack and meet a dude in a CVS parking lot. And the cops set up across the street to see the transaction go down. And that proved that, you know, the items were stolen for me and I had to go to small claims to look for restitution. I never did get the money, but he was ordered to pay it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wait, you set up a sting operation over a backpack? That's incredible. I can't even get my partner to answer her phone.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>But yeah, okay. So even if she's ordered to pay, there's no guarantee I'll actually see the money. That's what I figured. Well, no, I set up a sting operation over the items that were inside the backpack.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But I think you will see the money if you push it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I didn't. It was only a couple hundred bucks where there wasn't worth any more of my time. But I probably could have gone back to the court and enforced his, I don't know, probation fees or something to be diverted to me. I don't know how any of that works.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Right. Okay. So there's ways to actually collect if you stay on it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I mean, we're talking about enough to cover payroll for two people, so it's worth my time. I just hate that it's come to this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it takes a long time, so it's not going to cover your payroll right away. If you need to cover that payroll, you're going to have to find another way alone or, you know, talk to friends and family and see what you can do to raise the money. And stop operations because you can't afford to pay them going forward.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I've been sitting here like if I just figure out the legal stuff, the money will magically appear. But those employees need to get paid this week, not six months from now when a judge orders it. I'm going to have to tell Danny tonight. See if we can scrape together enough between savings and maybe his sister.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that sucks. I'm sorry that you ended up in that situation. It's a hard place to be. And I don't envy you at all, but that's the right thing to do. I think that's the correct course of action. And hopefully it all works out. And she comes back and returns the money. But I wouldn't bet on that. For now, I'd start looking at other arrangements.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, I'm not holding my breath for her to suddenly grow a conscience. I appreciate you talking me through it. I'd just been spinning my wheels all day. Couldn't even Think straight. At least now I know what I got to do. Even if it sucks. Thanks, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're welcome. That's what we do here. Hopefully it all works out. And you get your money back and you're able to pay your employees and continue with your thrift shop business. Next up on the line we have Phil. Phil, how you doing, buddy?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Hey, Luke, I'm all right, man. So I've been sitting here at the laundromat for like two hours now. And I cannot stop thinking about that Zachary Ty Bryan thing you mentioned earlier. You know the Home Improvement Kid getting locked up for violating probation?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I do not. I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you talking about the television show Home Improvement from the 90s with Tim Allen, one of his kids?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah, yeah, the middle kid. Jonathan Taylor Thomas's TV brother. I read about it today. And it's been stuck in my head. Because my cousin Danny's sentencing is on Wednesday. And I'm supposed to text to testify against him tomorrow. Well, not against him exactly. But I saw what I saw behind the Circle K back in November. And the prosecutor keeps calling to make sure my story stays straight.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What is it that you saw behind the Circle K?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>I saw Danny breaking into the storage unit back there. It was like two in the morning. I was coming back from dropping off my girlfriend at the time, and I see him with a crowbar prying open the lock. And the thing is, he looked right at me. eye contact. We grew up together, man.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and how did you end up on the telephone contact list for the prosecution?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>I called it in that night. I sat in my truck for like 10 minutes, just watching him load stuff into his car. And I kept thinking, maybe I should just drive away, you know? But then I thought about the guy who owns that Circle K. Jose, he's always been decent to everyone. And I just called 911.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so that's a little thing we in the business like to call snitching, and it's never a good idea to be the snitch, as they say. So do you have plans on how you're going to navigate that in a post-snitch world?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>That's the thing that's eating me up, Luke. Danny's mom has left me like eight voicemails today saying Uncle Hector would be ashamed of me. And that one hits different because Hector died last spring. He was the one who raised both of us half the time. Let us run wild on dirt bikes every Saturday. And now, I'm driving the same routes through Lordsburg and Amas for UPS that we used to tear up as kids. And everyone knows. Like I went into the gas station on Friday, and the guy behind the counter wouldn't even look at me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I mean, you must have expected that when you ran your mouth about what you saw behind the circle K.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>I mean, yeah. I knew it wasn't going to be good, but I guess I thought doing the right thing would feel different than this. Like maybe people would understand that Danny's been spiraling since Hector died, stealing copper wire, breaking into storage units, and somebody had to pump the brakes. But instead, I'm Nerat, and he's the victim. And his mom is blowing up my phone talking about family loyalty while her son is out there destroying himself.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, there are other ways you could have handled that. I mean, you turned in your own family to the police. That's pretty, uh, uh, nobody's going to respect that very much. You could have, uh, uh, uh, you could have gone up to him on the side and let him know that you saw that and not to continue doing it or, you know, giving him the chance to stop in his tracks. But that's not what you did. You just called the police. So, yes, you are a rat.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>You're right. I could have walked over there that night and said something. I sat in my truck for 10 minutes. I had time. And the worst part is, Danny would have listened to me. We've been tight since we were kids.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, the way I've seen. You have two options. You can go in there and testify the truth and let them know what you saw and rat out your family, or you can, you can, uh, not tell the truth and lie under perjury and, uh, give up yourself that way. So either way, it's not the best situation to be in.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>I already gave a statement to the cops that night, though. The prosecutor called today to prep me, make sure my story stays consistent. So if I get up there Wednesday and sell, Suddenly I didn't see what I saw. They're going to know I'm lying. And then I'm looking at perjury charges on top of being the guy who snitched and then trying to take it back.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It doesn't matter if they know you're lying. It only matters if they can prove you're lying. And it was dark. It was rainy and you would you were tired that night and who you saw was actually not this person.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Man, that's the problem though. It wasn't dark and rainy. It was like 9.30 on a clear night and I was parked maybe 30 feet away. I watched him for 10 minutes. The prosecutors got my original statement where I described everything. What he was wearing. The stuff he was loading.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sounds to me like you're not listening to me, sir. It was dark, and you're not sure what you saw. You called the police, uh, in haste.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>You know what? You're right. I hear you. It was dark. I was tired after a long shift, and I shouldn't have been so sure about what I saw from that distance. Maybe I jumped the gun calling it in like that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe you did. I would be careful if I were you on account of the whole stitches thing, because you know who gets stitches. And next up on the line we have Adrian. Adrian, thanks for calling in. What's going on with our callers today? We're, uh, we've got some not very interesting calls. Uh, can you help us out?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ADRIAN</span><p>Oh man, I hope so. So I'm sitting here cutting up Hatch Green Chile for a birth tomorrow. My client wants a pot of stew ready for after she delivers. And I just need to say something about commitment that's been driving me crazy all night. I was at the diner earlier and this tourist couple ordered Christmas-style enchiladas. You know red and green Chile.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So, you're working with a woman who's given birth and her demand for post-birth snack is a chili soup?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>Stew, not soup. And yeah, she's very special. specific about it. She's having the baby tomorrow. I'm her midwife. And she swears, she needs hatch green Chile stew waiting for her after delivery. But that's not why I called. What's bugging me is this whole Christmas thing. The waitress winked at me when they ordered it, like we were in on some joke together, and it just set me off.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you hate Christmas?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>No, I love Christmas, the holiday. I'm talking about Christmas-style enchilada. I'm talking about Christmas-style enchilada. red and green chili together. It's what tourists order when they can't commit to one or the other.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you know what tourists do? By definition? They come into your town and they spend money and promote businesses and make sure that everybody in the area that, you know, works there, gets paid so that they can eat. So what seems to be the problem with this red and green chili?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>Okay. Fair point about the money. But here's what's getting under my skin. Choosing both isn't really choosing at all. It's hedging your bets. It's saying, I can't commit to red or green, so I'll just take everything. And I've been thinking about commitment a lot lately because my second ex-husband just got engaged after six months to someone who probably orders Christmas every single damn time.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Um, well, that's not necessarily what it means. It could also mean that somebody likes both red and green chili and wants to have them both. Uh, which is a perfectly acceptable way to eat an enchilada.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>You're right. It is acceptable. I know I'm being irrational here, but it feels like a metaphor for my whole life right now. I'm a midwife. I'm a photographer on the side. I caught this perfect shot of a barn owl on my drive home tonight. And I keep thinking about how I wait for the right moment with photography.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, photography is a fun hobby, and to get the shot, you often have to wait for the right moment or identify the right moment. right moment while it's happening. And that is a skill.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>It's more than a hobby for me, but yeah, and that's what I'm good at. Patience, waiting for the right moment instead of just taking whatever's in front of me.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and what does that have to do with this chilly situation?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>Because I didn't wait with either of my marriages. I just jumped in, took what was there, didn't really choose deliberately. And now my second ex is engaged after six months to someone else. And I'm sitting here at my kitchen table at midnight, chopping green chili for a client stew. And I'm wondering if maybe I'm the one who should have been ordering Christmas all along.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Here's what I say. If you like red chili, buy the red chili enchilada. If you like green chili, buy the green chili angelata. If you like both chilies, or you'd like to try a little bit of each, buy the Christmas enchilada. And that's all there is to it. It has nothing to do with, uh, your midwife chili stew or your failed marriages.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>You're absolutely right. God, I called in about enchiladas like a crazy person. I heard Roberta earlier talking about her business partner cleaning out their account. And that's a real problem.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. I understand enchiladas are very important. And so are green chilies, especially around hatch. So I can see where you derived all. all meaning in your life from metaphors of chili colors.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>Okay, now you're making fun of me. Fair enough. I deserve it. I just, I think what I'm actually upset about is that he moved on so fast. Six months, Luke. We were together for three years, and it took him six months to find someone he wants to marry.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I mean, I was married a lot longer than that, and it took her a lot less, so you're in good company. and it makes no difference to you. It doesn't matter. Let them all be happy. Let them all eat chilies. That's what I say. Let everybody eat chilies and you just focus on what you've got in front of you, which is a birthing mother who wants her goddamn stew.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>You're right. She's due any day now and she's been so specific about this stew. It has to be hatch green. It has to have pork shoulder. It has to simmer for at least four hours. And honestly, I love that about her. She knows exactly. what she wants.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, that's good for you. I mean, if somebody, if one of my clients was like that, I would be like, you have to make your own stew. Um, but if you can, if you can deal with that, good for you. Give her the stew that she deserves. That's what I say. Give, give people the stew that they deserve.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SARAH</span><p>That's actually perfect advice. Give people the stew they deserve. I'm going to write that down. Thank you, Luke. I needed someone to tell me I was being ridiculous. about the enchiladas.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, here I am to tell you you were being ridiculous about the enchiladas. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of our 20th episode. Thank you for tuning in. We hope you're enjoying Luke at the Roost, and we'll catch it again tomorrow.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 21: Carts, Confetti, and Canine Collateral</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-25T08:07:39+00:00">February 25, 2026</time> · 46 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">From a laundromat worker's obsession with shopping cart etiquette to a brother's plan to seize his sibling's dogs, this episode of Luke at the Roost covers a wide range of topics and callers. Listeners will be entertained and intrigued as Luke navigates these peculiar situations with his signature wit and wisdom.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Hello everybody. Welcome back to Luke at the Roost. I am your host, Luke, and today is Tuesday, February 24th. This is the call-in radio show where you can call in and ask me anything about what's on your mind. I'll give you the best advice I can, though I am not a lawyer, I am not an accountant, and I give terrible advice. So with that being said, if you'd like to call in, the number's 208, 4th, 3,000, 3rd, 39-5853. That's 208-439. Luke. First up on the phones here, we've got Greg. Greg, welcome to the show. How can we help you today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>Luke, hey, yeah. So our smart speaker tried to wake up the entire neighborhood at four in the morning, blasting mariachi music. And I'm pretty sure my wife's never going to let me hear the end of it. The thing is I never even wanted the damn thing. My daughter set it up last Christmas, said it'd make our lives easier, and I've been side-eyeing it ever since. Just sitting there on the kitchen counter like some kind of little robot spy. And this morning it just decides, 4 a.m. Time for a fiesta, apparently.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what else do you use it for? There's some pretty good uses for it. It is a little robot spy sitting there listening to everything you say, but it can be fun too and useful.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>Honestly, Linda uses it for timers when she's cooking. asks it about the weather sometimes. I mostly just walk past it. She'll say, play some Fleetwood Mac, and it does, and I guess that's nice enough. But I work nights, Luke, so when I'm home during the day, I'm trying to sleep. And more than once, that thing has started talking out of nowhere because it thought it heard something.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, you can turn the microphone off, so it doesn't operate that way?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>Yeah. My daughter told me that too. But then Linda says, well, what's the point of having it if we turn it off? And she's got a point, I guess. makes me uneasy. I grew up with a rotary phone on the kitchen wall, you know. You wanted music you put on a record.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, now it's 2026 and that's not how it's done anymore. And there are some ways that you can manage that device without having the speaker on. I mean, you have to have the speaker on something, like a smart watch or something. But you can set up a shortcut, so if you talk to your watch, it'll play Fleetwood Mac on the smart speaker.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>I don't have a smart watch, Luke. I've got a where I work about eight years ago, still keeps perfect time. But look, the real kicker this morning was I had to climb up into the attic in my boxes to pull the plug because the thing wouldn't respond to anything we said.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well here's my advice for you. This is what I would do. I would set up a shortcut. You might not have a smart watch, but you do have a smartphone, so you can open up the Google Home or Apple HomeKit or whatever it is app for your smart speaker and set a schedule so that at 10 p.m. it, uh, you can open up the uh, mutes the volume until 8 a.m. And then you don't have to worry about waking up the neighbors at 4 a.m.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>Huh. That's actually not a bad idea. I didn't even know you could do that. See, this is the problem. My daughter sets this stuff up and then moves back to Phoenix, and I'm just supposed to figure it out. Linda standing there in her robe this morning with a flashlight, laughing so hard she's crying while I'm freezing my ass off in the attic. And I'm thinking there's got to be a better way to handle this.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you're supposed to figure it out. You know how you figure it out? You fucking try. It's really not that hard. It's not rocket science. You actually are like, hey, how could I solve this problem? And you don't even have to know the answer. You just go to your search engine of choice. Google is one good one, and you can say, how can I stop this smart speaker from going off in the middle of the... Just fucking try. That's all you have to do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>All right, all right. I hear you. You're not wrong. I guess I've been treating it like it's some kind of alien technology, when really I just need to spend 10 minutes poking around in the app. It's just, I don't know, Luke. When you've been doing the same job for 12 years, stocking the same shelves every night, there's a part of you that stops trying to learn new things. You get in a groove and you stay there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if you want to stay there, then you can look like an idiot every time you start playing fiesta music at 4 a.m. But I would recommend that you don't look like an idiot and you actually put in some level of effort, because these are designed so that a 12-year-old can use them. So if a 12-year-old can use it, and you're a full-grown adult, I'm pretty sure you can figure it out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>You know what? You're right. I'm sitting here complaining about a problem that probably takes less time to fix than it took me to climb into that attic this morning. I'll pull up the app on my break. Figure out the schedule thing you mentioned. Can't be harder than learning the new inventory system they made a switch to last year. And I managed that eventually.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I have full faith in your ability to figure out your smart speaker, sir. I wish you the best of luck, but also stop being a lazy bastard. Estelle, thanks for calling in. What's going on today?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I work at a laundromat, and I've been tracking who returns their shopping carts in the parking lot, versus who just leaves them wherever. The numbers are driving me crazy, because I think it actually tells you everything you need to know about a person.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know about that, but I'm curious about your inventory tracking system. and their laundry. So you can see that the people that do two blankets a week, they're the ones more likely to return their shopping carts. What's your system look like? How detailed is it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>No, no, it's not that detailed. I've got the security monitor at my desk in the back office, and I can see the Albertsons across the street. People walk over there, do their shopping, and then I watch what they do with the cart when they get back to their car. I started keeping a tally sheet two weeks ago just marks on paper. One column for people who return it. One column for people who don't.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Which column do you yourself belong in?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>I return mine every time. Even if I'm parked right next to the store, and the cart return is on the other side of the lot. My husband thinks I'm being ridiculous about this whole thing, but I can't help it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Now doesn't the store hire? a guy or lady to go collect those carts and move them out of the parking lot?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Yeah, they do. But that's not the point. The point is, there's no punishment for leaving your cart in the fire lane or blocking a handicapped spot. Nobody's watching. Nobody's making you do the right thing. So when someone walks that cart all the way back to the corral when they could just leave it, that tells me something. That tells me they probably stop if they saw you broken down down on the side of the road. The people who leave it three feet from their car.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I think that's making quite a few assumptions about the values of people at large.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Is it, though? Because I watched someone last week, leave their cart, right in the middle of an empty parking space. And then two hours later, that same person came back in. Because the dryers ate their quarters.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And you know what?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Do you think the dryers ate their quarters because of a karmic retribution? No, but they stood there at my counter, demanding I give them their money back, saying it wasn't their fault, saying I should have signs posted, even though there are signs posted. They wanted me to fix their problem immediately, but they couldn't be bothered to walk 15 feet to put a cart away. I'm just saying there's a pattern. Tonight, I counted 47 people who returned their carts versus 63 who didn't. And yeah, maybe I'm reading too much into it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But when you sit here night after night, watching people make that choice, when nobody's looking, it starts to feel like it means something. Well, there's a difference here. You see, the difference is that person was not an employee of Albertsons, and it's not their job to return the cart to the designated cart return space. Whereas in the laundromat, it is your job to fix the problem. And if that person lost their quarters in the machine, then yes, they should expect that you're going to fix their problem. That's your entire job.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Okay, but the dryer didn't eat their quarters. They put in six quarters for a 40 minute cycle and pulled their clothes out after 20 minutes because they were in a hurry. Then they came back two hours later saying the machine stole from them. I showed them on the timer that they stopped it themselves.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, that's different. That is douchebaggery, and I can agree with you on that. And it's a good thing that you had that, uh, that tape ready to show them that, hey, this machine did not eat your quarter, sir. And by the way, you left your shopping cart in the middle of the shopping space and it made me very upset.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>I didn't say that last part to them. I'm not confronting customers about shopping carts at Albertsons, but I'm watching it happen on my security monitor. Because those carts end up blocking my dumpster, and last month, one of them rolled into a customer's Subaru. And I'm sitting here thinking about how it's the same kind of thing. When there's no consequence, when nobody's watching, what do people do?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I can't talk about people at large, but I can tell you what I do. When I have a shopping card and I bring it to my car, I unload my goods, my merchandise into the car. And then if there is a spot where I can deposit, that cart within a reasonable distance, I will deposit it. Otherwise, I'll move it somewhere out of the way because usually a parking lot is completely empty and there's plenty of space to drive around a cart, and I'll allow the person whose job it is to put that away to come put it away.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>See, that's what I'm talking about. You just said out of the way and plenty of space to drive around it. But who decides what's out of the way? Because I've got full footage of people leaving carts in handicapped spots, thinking they're out of the way. And, yeah, the parking lot looks empty at 10 o'clock at night. But then someone pulls in at 6 in the morning when it's still dark and there's a cart sitting there. It takes 30 seconds to walk it back. 30 seconds.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe in that Albertson, but not in every parking lot. There are some that are split in the middle with a sidewalk type thing where you got to lift up the cart and carry it over and then push it back to the front of the store. No, I'm not doing that. But if it's reasonable and there's a little place to put the carts, I would say about 80% of the time I return the carts. And 20% of the time, no. You return the cart. If it bothers you, get out of your car and move it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>So you're part of the 63. And that's fine. You can be part of the 63. But don't act surprised when nobody stops to help you change a tire, because I'm telling you, there's a connection. The people who can't be bothered to take 30 seconds when nobody's watching. Those are the same people who stand at my counter demanding I fix a problem they created. And my husband thinks I'm obsessing over this, but I started keeping the tally sheet two weeks ago just to see if I was crazy. And the numbers don't lie.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're right, they don't lie. You are crazy. Because sitting at your job, watching across the street and counting the number of times that people return their shopping cards is bat shit crazy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>You know what? Fair. Maybe it is. But I'm sitting here anyway waiting for the last dryers to finish staring at this monitor. Because someone has to watch for people dumping trash in my dumpster or trying to break into the change machine. And the Albertson's parking lot is right there in frame. So yeah, I started counting.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, good for you. How is it improving your life in any way? Instead of, you know, taking your personal pet peeve and associating a moral gauge of people's goodliness based on it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Because it's not just a pet peeve. That cart that rolled into the Subaru, I had to deal with that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, what did you have to do to deal with that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>The woman came into my laundromat screaming because she saw it happen on my camera and wanted the footage. And I gave it to her. And you know what it showed? Some guy leaving his cart right where I've got the no parking dumpster access sign and then it just rolled rolled right across the lot into her car.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that is a goddamn travesty. You know what I suggest? Here's my recommendation for you. Right where it says that no parking dumpster access sign, you should also put another sign that says don't leave your cart here. Uh, because placing a car is not the same as parking a car. Thing is, they move easily, whereas a car you kind of have to turn it out of the way. There's a big difference. So, yeah, I don't think this is a thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Oh, so now I need signs telling people not to leave carts in a fire lane, not to block handicapped spots. How many signs do I need before people just do the basic thing? That's my whole point. It's not about the carts.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, you're the one that's tracking the carts on a graph there sitting at your desk. So what is it about if it's not about the carts?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>It's about the moral responsibility of society at large. It's about whether someone does the right thing when nobody's making them. That's it. The cart return is right there. You can see it from anywhere in that lot. Takes 30 seconds. But 63 people today couldn't be bothered because there's no consequence.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, there's no consequence because it's not a law. There's no rule or regulation or law that says you have to return your cart to the place. And that's why there's no consequence. If you want consequence, I suggest that you, I don't know, join your local board of selectmen and issue a state or county wide, townwide, whatever. Issue a town bylaw that all carts will be returned to the cart space. But you see, the thing is, this is this is America. And people want people to come to their stores and they don't want to be hassled with the carts. So that's why they hire somebody to go clean up the carts. Now, if the carts aren't being cleaned up at the end of the night when the store is closed and everybody's going home, whose fault is that? Is it the fault of every individual shopper that was trying to get, you know, their kid to stop crying and get home to make dinner for the family? Or is it the kid that, uh, that had that job and didn't do it before he went home?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>The Albertson's kid isn't out there at 11.30 at night when I'm closing up. And there's three carts blocking my dumpster access. And yeah, maybe that mom had a screaming kid. I get it. But what about the guy I watched tonight in a suit? No kids. Just walked his cart 10 feet past the return to leave it in a handicap spot. What's his excuse?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He had a bunion.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Oh, come on. You don't. Look, I watched him. He was fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, so you can tell? You can tell if he was sick to his stomach and about to puke, tell if his big toe was cut off by a meat cleaver accident this morning? You can't look at somebody and tell how they feel or what's going on in their body or in their mind. I'm sorry, lady. You're out of your mind.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Okay, fine. Maybe that one guy had a bunion. What about the other 62 people? They all have bunions?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm going to guess that some percentage of them are general assholes, but the vast majority just had other stuff going on. And this is not their primary, you know, priority today.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>But that's exactly what I'm saying. When it's inconvenient, when they've got other stuff going on, they don't do it. That's the test. Anyone can do the right thing when it's easy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm talking about the 30 seconds when you're tired or distracted or your toe hurts. Do you still put the cart back?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>I put the cart back when it makes sense to put the cart back. And when it doesn't, I don't put the car back. And I'm an adult with agency and the ability to tell when it's okay to leave a cart somewhere and when you're blocking something important. And I think most adult people that are able to drive can make that distinction. And it's really not up to you. It's not your job. And it's not your responsibility to decide when that's okay or where it's okay.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But you just said you can tell when you're blocking something important. The guy tonight left his cart in a handicapped spot. That's blocking something important.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Sure, and I told you that there was going to be some percentage of assholes. But that doesn't mean that guy didn't stop on his way home and help an old man fix his tire. It doesn't mean he wouldn't go out of his way to support a food kitchen on Christmas because you don't like the way he handled his cart. Come on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So what? One good deed cancels out being inconsiderate. I'm supposed to assume the guy blocking the handicapped spot is secretly Mother Teresa, because maybe he volunteers sometimes.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Look, I'm not saying these people are evil.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You are. That's exactly what you're saying. You're saying you can tell from whether or not people return their carts how they are in general towards society. You're saying the people that don't return their carts aren't helpful and they're not going to stop on the side of the road and you're making a ton of assumptions here and you're not in a position to do that lady.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>I didn't say they're evil. I said you can tell who would help you change attire. And yeah, I stand by that. The person who can't be bothered to walk 15 feet when they're done shopping, when nobody's watching. Well, I mean, I don't know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What are you calling for? What advice do you need for me?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>I don't know. My husband says, I'm obsessing. He says I need to let it go. Stop keeping the tally sheet. Stop watching the monitor. But I can't stop noticing it now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you obviously are obsessing, and maybe you should let it go because it's obviously not improving your life in any way. And it's making you a miserable old bag.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ESTELLE</span><p>Okay, wow. Miserable old bag. That's nice. All right. So I guess I'm one of those 40% centers or whatever that sucks of life. But I wish you the best and I hope that all your carts end up where they're supposed to go, okay?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>With that being said, it's time for a word from our sponsors. All right. I'm going to read this ad exactly as they sent it to me and I want you to know that I have concerns. Phantom Ranch Wellness wants you to know that your gut health starts and I'm reading this directly from the card now from the other end. They make an at-home home coffee Enema kit. It comes in a box that says wellness inside on the outside, which I think we can agree, is doing a lot of the heavy lifting. The kit includes a medical grade silicone bag, organic single origin coffee, because apparently the coffee you put in your, that that coffee needs to be single origin, a detailed instruction booklet and a com card with a QR code to a guided meditation for during. During. There's a guided meditation for during. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your body. That's between you and your bathroom and whatever God you answer to. I will say the reviews are disturbingly positive. Four and a half stars. One guy said it has changed his morning routine, which I believe because it would absolutely change your morning routine. Phantom Ranch Wellness. I read the ad. I didn't endorse it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and we are back. And it is time for a, uh, A listener mail. So here's a submission that we've got to the old email box. If you'd like to send in a submission, it is submissions at luke at the roost.com. And let's see what we've got here. I've been lying to a dying man for seven months and I can't stop. Let's have one of our robot friends read this email.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Subject, I have been lying to a dying man for seven months and I can't stop. Luke, I worked the graveyard shift at a truck stop diner. Seven months ago, this old guy started coming in every single night. Same time, same booth, same order. Black coffee, dry toast, side of applesauce. One night he starts talking to me. Tells me his name is Earl. Tells me he's got the cancer. Tells me his daughter won't return his calls. Then he asks my name. And I don't know why, Luke, but I panicked and I said Diane. My name is not Diane. Not even close. But he got this look on his face like he'd just seen a ghost He whispered, that was my mother's name. And then he cried, and I couldn't take it back after that. So now I'm Diane. Every night. For seven months, I have been Diane to this dying man. I know everything about him. I know he drove trucks for 40 years. I know he regrets missing his daughter's wedding. I know his wife's name was Ruthie, and she made the best cobbler in the state, and he still sets a place for her at Christmas. My coworkers think I'm insane. They call me Diane now too, even when Earl's not there. My manager put Diane on the schedule as a joke. It's not funny anymore. It's on my name tag. I am Diane now. But here's the thing. Earl told me last week that coming in and talking to Diane is the only reason he gets out of bed. That our conversations are keeping him going. That I remind him there are still good people. What am I supposed to do with that? Tell a dying man that the one good thing in his life is based on a lie I told because I got nervous? I don't need advice. I think I'm past advice. I just needed someone else to know that somewhere out there, a woman who is not Diane, is the most important person in a dying man's life. And she has no idea how this ends. Keep the light on for us night shift people. We're out here holding it together with coffee and fake names. Not Diane.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, thank you, Not Diane. That's a very kind thing of you to do. If you'd like to send in a message, you can do that at submissions, Luke at theroost.com. Now let's get back to the phones here. We've got Francine. Francine, welcome to the show. What's going on?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>It's Frankie, actually. But yeah, hey, Luke. So I'm sitting here looking at my buddy Ray's Netflix account, right? And the guy's got like 15 romantic comedies in his cue and a profile that says watching with them with a little heart emoji.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, uh, what's the problem there?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>The problem is Ray's been giving me endless shit for years about being with my girlfriend Amber. Like constantly. The whole ball and chain routine. The, you're missing out on freedom speech. Jokes about how he's never settling down. All that stuff. And now I find out he's been in a relationship this whole time and just never said anything?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, how do you know he's in a relationship? He could just be, uh, you know, that could be a strategy for his Netflix and chill routine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>I mean, maybe. Maybe? But who makes a whole profile with a heart emoji for hookups? And these aren't just rom-coms, Luke. We're talking the notebook. When Harry met Sally, the really sappy ones. Plus, I was on his account like a month ago watching Narcos. And that profile definitely wasn't there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know what to tell you, buddy. It sounds like your friend might be into some... Uh... shit. I don't know how to say it. Less than masculine media.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>No, see, that's the thing, though. Ray doesn't care about that stuff. He'll watch whatever. We've watched plenty of dumb movies together. It's not about the rom-coms. It's about the lying. Like, why would he hide having a girlfriend while busting my balls about having one? That's when I can't figure out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you don't know. Maybe he doesn't have a girlfriend. Maybe the girlfriend is somebody you know and he doesn't want you to know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But also, a possibility is he's let somebody else use his account, and they're setting up a playlist for their girlfriend.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Oh, man, I didn't even think about that. Like maybe his brother or something? But wait. No, raise an only child. And who would he be dating that I know? We run in the same circles pretty much. Unless... I don't know, man.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How should I know? It doesn't matter. Why are you focused on this?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Talk to Ray and ask him if he's got a girlfriend. Because I've been sitting here for an hour trying to figure out if bringing it up makes me look like a nosy asshole. That's why. Like, what do I even say? Hey, man, I was snooping through your Netflix and noticed you might have a secret girlfriend? That sounds insane. But also, he's my best friend. And he's apparently been hiding something major while making me feel like an idiot for being in a relationship.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's what friends do. So rag on him a little bit. You know, give me me. some shit about the notebook or whatever the next time you see him, but it's not a big deal.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I don't know if this is something worth calling a radio show over.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're right, you're right. I know you're right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>It's just been eating at me because Amber keeps asking why I'm being weird tonight, and I can't exactly tell her I'm spiraling over Ray's Netflix account.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, man, this is not a rational behavior on your part. So I'm going to recommend that you leave it alone for a while, watch something good on Netflix, and thank your buddy for letting you use his account.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, okay. Fair enough. I'll just drop it. Maybe send him a text tomorrow like nothing happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Good plan, sir. Nothing did happen. You fucking weirdo. Okay, next up we've got Shanice.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Shanise, what's going on in your life? Hey, Luke. It's Shanice, actually.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's what I said.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>So I just found pictures of my uncle Raymond, at Burning Man, wearing nothing but a leather harness. And he's painted silver and orange head to toe. And I'm trying to figure out, if I should show them to the guys at our poker game Friday, because this man lectures me about living right every single Sunday at church.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know what? If he's naked a burning man in a leather harness and he's painted silver and orange, it sounds to me like this man's living right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>You know what? That's the thing that's messing with me right now. Like part of me is sitting here looking at these photos, and I'm kind of impressed. He's 70, three years old, and he looks happier in these pictures than I've ever seen him. But then every Sunday he's. He's sitting there telling me, I need to get back out there and date. I need to join the church choir. I need to stop spending so much time in my workshop mounting dead animals. Meanwhile, he's out in Nevada doing whatever the hell this is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He's partying. He's enjoying his golden years. Good for him. I don't think he can make fun of him for that. That's pretty badass.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Okay, but Luke, you don't understand. This is the same man who gave me a 30-minute lecture last month, because I had a beer at two in the afternoon. afternoon on a Saturday. He saw the can in my truck and went on about responsibility and setting an example. And now I'm looking at him in light up goggles, dancing in the desert in his underwear. And I'm supposed to just let him keep acting like he's the moral authority.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you are, because there's no crime being done there if he's partying out in the desert at the appropriate place to do that. That's what it's for. He went out there to be a little hedonistic in the right people and he paid money to do it. You on the other hand have a container in a vehicle which is a crime and you probably shouldn't be driving and drinking at the same time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Okay, first of all, the truck was parked in my own driveway and the engine wasn't even on, but fine, you got a point. I hear you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you're just sitting in the driveway, drinking beers, throwing them in your car when you're done?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Well, when you say it like that, it sounds worse than it is. I was cleaning out my workshop and I sat down for a But okay, whatever. That's not the point. The point is, he found those pictures and felt the need to give me a whole speech about it. And now I'm holding evidence that he's got this entire secret life. And Friday night I got four guys coming over who have known Raymond since before my husband died, and they worship this man. They think he's this pillar of the community.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You might be, you can be more than one thing. And I don't know that a weak at Burning Man is the same thing as, uh, uh, uh, an entire secret life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>You're right. Secret life is dramatic. But Luke, these guys at poker, they ask him for advice. Bobby asked him last month if he should propose to his girlfriend, and Raymond told him to pray on it and make sure he was ready for that level of commitment. And I'm just sitting here thinking, what would Bobby say if he knew Raymond was out there in a harness? I'm not saying I'm going to show them. I'm just saying the temptation is real, because he acts like he's got it all figured out. The rest of us are just stumbling around making mistakes.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What do you think God doesn't like leather? Do you think there's no church or, uh, spiritual people at Burning Man? I'm, I'm pretty sure you're mistaken.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Okay, that's fair. I didn't think about it like that. I guess I just assumed. Yeah, you're right. That's on me. But here's what's really getting to me now that I'm talking it through with you. It's not even about the Burning Man thing anymore. It's that he sees me struggling, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, okay, so he sees you struggling, and it sounds like he's giving you reasonable advice.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>He is, but he's giving it from this place like he's never struggled himself, like he's never done anything messy or confusing or outside the lines. And now I know he has, and he just never told me. When my husband died, Raymond was there every single day, telling me how to grieve the right way. What I should be doing? When I should be moving on. And maybe if I'd known he had this whole other side to him, that he wasn't just this rigid person. Maybe I would have felt less like I was failing at everything.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, I'm sure he was trying to give you the best advice he could and help you out. And not everybody's good at doing that, and they try to impose their own values and will on you and their own experiences. But you don't know how somebody else has struggled or what they've done that's messy or confusing. There's a good chance that he's done a lot of messy confusing things. And he's trying to do. his best to give you the type of advice that leads you in a different direction.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>You know what? You're completely right. I'm sitting here acting like I know everything about him because I found some photos, but I don't know what led him there or what he was going through when he went. Maybe he was struggling with something huge and that's how he dealt with it. And here I am ready to embarrass him in front of his friends just because I'm still mad about how he handled things seven years ago.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know, I've never been to Burning Man, but I've watched a lot of reports from people that enjoy that and go there. I think I would hate it personally because of the crowds and the drugs and partying. It's not really my thing. But most of the reports I've heard of people from from Burning Man and Burning Man like events are wildly positive. They say they're, you know, some of the best most spiritual experiences of their lives. And the whole of Burning Man is pretty great if you get down and look into the anti-capitalism and art and free love and all that jazz. I don't see how you can look at that with such negativity. He went out to the desert to have a good time and had a good time. And that's all there is to it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Yeah, I hear you. And honestly, looking at those pictures again, he looked happy, really happy, like genuinely having the time of his life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And when's the last time I saw him look like that here. So yeah, you should talk to Raymond and maybe ask him if you can go with him this year and see what it's about and have a more informed viewpoint of what's going on there before you start trying to destroy the guy's life and reputation for it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PATTY</span><p>Oh man. Can you imagine me at Burning Man? I'd be the person bringing a cooler and asking where the bathrooms are. But you're right, Luke. I called in here ready to justify being Patty. And you just made me realize I'm jealous. I'm jealous that he went out and something wild and I'm still here in the same workshop mounting the same animals for the same clients.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, get out there and do something wild and maybe enjoy your life a little bit more and don't worry so much about what Raymond says. You know, you know what you've got to do in your life. You don't have to take his advice. Maybe he'll give it when it's unsolicited and you can just ignore it. But it sounds like he's a decent man that is speaking to you with the best of intentions.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PATTY</span><p>You're absolutely right. I'm going to keep my mouth shut at poker. And maybe next time he starts lecturing me about living right, I'll just smile and let it roll off. He's trying to help in his own way, even if it drives me crazy sometimes. And honestly, finding those photos was probably the best thing that could have happened. Because now when he gets on his high horse, I can just picture him in that harness and light up goggles. And it'll take the sting out of it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Excellent. See, that's what we do here. Look at the Roots. We bring families back together. Uh, thank you for the call. I hope everything goes well with your uncle. And now it's time for a word from our sponsors. This episode is brought to you by Desert Gut, the all-in-one nutritional supplement made from things you'd actually find within walking distance from my RV. Each scoop of Desert Gut contains 17 adaptogens, nine minerals scraped directly off a rock, pulverized tumbleweed fiber, and a proprietary blend we're calling coyote dust. which our lawyers have asked me to clarify as not made from actual coyotes. Desert gut tastes like someone described the color beige to a blender, but you'll feel incredible, or you'll feel something. First five callers get a free shaker bottle that definitely used to be a gas station coffee cup. Desert gut, because your gut isn't going to desert itself. All right. to the show. And now on the phones we've got T-Bone. Teabone, welcome to the show.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>Luke, hey, yeah, I'm calling about my sister's gender reveal party tonight. And I got to tell you, this thing got completely out of hand. I'm talking a D, J, a catered taco bar, 200 people in my backyard. And at the end of it all, she shoots off this confetti cannon that covers my entire property and pink glitter.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What did you expect was going to happen at a gender reveal party?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>Well, I expected maybe. be, I don't know, a cake, some balloons, not a full production with the sound system, and a guy in a bowtie handing out shrimp cocktails. I've got five acres out in the desert, Luke, and she turned my property into some kind of festival grounds.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, it's a gender reveal party. I think the people that are interested in a gender reveal party are maybe a little bit on the dramatic end of things, and they think their news there is very, very important. So you can understand why maybe they acted that. way.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>Okay, but here's the thing. I teach middle school, Luke. I deal with drama all bay long, 13-year-olds crying because somebody unfollowed them on Instagram. And I come home to my sister doing basically the same thing, except she's 34 years old and spent what had to be two grand announcing whether her kids got a penis or not. I mean, my coworker Deshaun said it to me straight at lunch yesterday. Nobody cares this much about baby gender.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wouldn't it be funny if that child grew up to have a different gender identification?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>I mean, yeah, that's the other thing. She's over here acting like this pink confetti is some kind of binding contract with the universe. Like, what if the kid decides differently down the road? Then what? She going to shoot off another cannon in 15 years? Look, I don't care what the kid ends up being. I just think the whole spectacle is ridiculous.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I agree with you. That is a ridiculous spectacle, and it's completely unnecessary. but, you know, you agreed, and you knew what a gender-reveal party was, so I guess you've got to clean up some of that confetti. But luckily you live in the desert, so it's all going to blow away probably by tomorrow.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>Well, that's the thing, Luke. It's not blowing away. It's this heavy-duty stuff, like industrial glitter mixed with paper. And my chickens are out there eating it right now. I raise heritage breed Wyandots. And I got no idea if this stuff is going to mess with their digestive system.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Nothing messes with their digestive system. system. Worst case scenario, you're going to have pre-decorated Easter eggs.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>Huh. Yeah. Pink-glitter chicken eggs. That'll go over real well at the farmer's market. But seriously, I didn't even want to say yes to this thing. She asked me two months ago, and I should have just told her no. Use your own yard. But she lives in one of those H-O.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's an H-O?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>H-O-A, Homeowners Association. She's in one of those cookie-cutters' subdivisions where you need written permission to change your mailbox color. So she can't do anything fun at her place. And I'm out here with five acres, and apparently that makes me the family event venue now. I got a Silverado in the driveway, some land. And suddenly, every birthday, every baby thing, it's, can we use your place, T-bone? And I keep saying yes because she's my sister. But man, I'm getting tired of being the backup plan for people who chose to live in places with rules.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're going to have to stand up for yourself and say, that you made a mess out of my place the last time and I don't want to pick it up. So next time just say, no, we're going to do this at your place. Or you're going to have to reel in your party so that it fits within the allotted rules of your HOA.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>You're right. You're absolutely right. I just, I don't know why I can't say it to her face. I can tell 13-year-olds all day long that their essays late, and I'm not accepting it. No exceptions. I can stand in front of 30 kids and lay down the law about cell phones. But my My sister asked me for something, and I just fold.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, it's pretty easy to tell a kid what to do. You have an interesting power dynamic there, but with family, it's a little bit different. Still, if you want to be a man, then stand up for yourself and say what you want, what you will accept, and what you will not accept.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>Yeah, you're calling me out, and I hear you. I make decent money teaching. I owe my property outright. I bench 225. I shouldn't be acting like I can't set a boundary with my own sister. It's just she's going through a lot right now, you know? Her husband works offshore two weeks at a time. She's about to have this baby. And I think part of me feels like I should just suck it up and help out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you've got to pick one or the other. You can suck it up and help out and do whatever it is that she wants and then clean up her industrial-grade glitter from your chicken's assholes. Or you can say, no, I don't want to do that anymore. You're going to have to find another place. But that's completely up to you. And you're going to be. going to have to make that choice based on how you want to live your life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">T-BONE</span><p>You know what? You're right. I'm sitting here complaining to you at midnight about glitter, when I could have just said no two months ago. Her husband makes good money on those rigs. Way more than I make teaching. They can afford to rent a pavilion at a park, or do this thing at a restaurant like normal people. I don't need to be the solution every time, just because I've got the space.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Next time she asks, I'm telling her straight up. Find somewhere else. There you go. That's standing up for yourself. That's what I always say. Stand up for yourself. Do the right thing. And then you don't have to clean up glitter. We're going to take one more call tonight because it's getting a little bit late. And the last caller here we've got on the line is Mavis. Mavis, welcome to the show. You're the last caller tonight. What would you like to talk about?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>My brother owes me $8,000, and I'm about to take his dogs.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wait, what? You're going to steal his dogs?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Not steal. Collateral. He borrowed $8,000 to fix his roof back in October. Said he'd pay me back by Christmas. Well, it's almost March, and I came home today to find my living room trashed because he's been using my place as a kennel while I was working in Lordsburg all week. Carpets destroyed. Tea. Vs cracked and Ed when I called him. Actually laughed and said shit happens. So yeah, I'm taking two of his pointers.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you even like dogs?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Like them. Luke, I trained those dogs. That's my bloodline going back to a bitch I bought in 98. I've been breeding and training pointers for 26 years.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you didn't do a very good job if they destroyed your house now, did you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Those dogs are perfectly trained when they're handled right. My brother's lazy. He doesn't exercise them. Doesn't give them structure, just dumps them wherever it's convenient. A pointer needs work. They need routine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, I hope that works out for you. I don't think you can just take somebody's dogs. I mean, I would never let anybody take my dog. So if he's going to just allow you to take his dogs, I don't know what says about him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>He's not going to allow it. I'm just going to do it. I've got keys to his place and I know his schedule. He works nights at the mine Thursday through Sunday. I'll go Friday morning, load them up, and he can come get his money together if he wants them back.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And what happens if he calls the police on you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>And tell them what? That his sister took back the dog she bred and trained because he owes her $8,000 and destroyed her house? I've got the vet records. I've got the category papers with my name on them. I've got text messages about the loan. He's not calling anybody.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think it works that way. If they're his dogs, you can't just take them, even if you have the training papers. I mean, that'd be like any trainer that trained a dog coming and just taking the dog back. It doesn't work that way. And people have a severe amount of sympathy for dogs and pet owners. So if somebody's missing their dogs, you're not going to have a public opinion on your side here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Public opinion. Luke, this isn't about public opinion. This is about my brother thinking he can walk all over me because I'm always the one who bails him out. I loaned him money for his roof. I trained his dogs for free. I let him use my house. And every single time he takes advantage. The dogs are leverage. He gets them back when I get my money back.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, I hope that works out for you. You sound like somebody I wouldn't want to fuck with.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>You're damn right. I've been too nice for too long, and look where it got me. Three grand in repairs and a brother who laughs about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know what could have? I mean, you could take those dogs and then find out one of them has cancer, and now you're on the hook to pay for this dog that's not yours. Chemotherapy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Then he can come get his sick dog and pay me what he owes. I'm not keeping them forever, Luke. I'm holding them until he pays up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What if he doesn't pay up?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Then I've got two excellent bird dogs that I train myself, and he's got a debt he'll never forget. Either way, I'm done being the family dormant. He'll pay. He loves those dogs more than he loves most people.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, then I wish you luck, and I wish those things. Dogs look, it seems a little fucked up that you're making those dogs collateral on a loan to your own family. That's a bit... This whole scenario seems a little bit excessive.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Excessive? He destroyed my living room, Luke. My carpets ruined. My TV's cracked. My favorite movies snapped in half. I came home after a week taking care of a stroke patient, and my house looked like a frat party happened in it. And when I called him Ed?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why'd you call him Ed?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Oh, that's his name. Ed. Edward. But nobody calls him that. He's always been Ed to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, good luck to Ed. Jesus Christ. You sound like Satan.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Satan would have taken the dog six months ago when he brought my truck back on empty. I gave him a pass on that one. Not this time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, it sounds like you've got it all figured out. So I wish you the best and I wish those dogs the best. And fuck, I wish Ed the best.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>You think I'm being too harsh.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Slightly. Luke. I told him what happened and he said shit happens and laughed. Like it was nothing. Like I'm supposed to just eat $8,000 in a destroyed living room because we share DNA.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. So go do it. And I wish everybody the best in this whole scenario.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm glad that you're not mad at me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at him. And I'm mad at myself for letting it get this far.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, thanks for the call. And I hope you get a good night's sleep and maybe think about this overnight. time and see if it's what you really want to do, all right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Yeah. Yeah. All right. Thanks for listening, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wow. Jesus. I am glad that I haven't pissed off Mavis. Wow. All right. Well, that's the end of our show, folks. Thanks for tuning in again, and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye-bye.</p></div>
|
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<a class="episode-nav-prev" rel="prev" href="/episode/episode-20-dads-drummers-and-dilemmas/">← Episode 20: Dads, Drummers, and Dilemmas</a>
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<h1>Episode 22: The Poison Is the Thing We Need</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-26T04:46:08+00:00">February 26, 2026</time> · 46 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Luke fields calls on a wide range of topics - from the Great Oxygenation Event to a shady business partner, a neighbor's surveillance, and a veteran's PTSD. Hear Donnie, Rochelle, Mikey, Nikki, Frankie, Ray, and Amber share their stories. Will Luke's advice help them move forward or spiral further?</p>
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<section class="episode-transcript">
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back. I'm Luke. I'm your host of tonight's show, Luke at the Roost. This is the call-in talk show where you can call in with whatever's going on in your world, and I'll give you the best advice that I can, which will probably be horrible advice. If you'd like to give us a call, the number's 208-439-583. That's 208-439 Luke. If you're not near your phone and you'd like to participate in the show, you can send us an email at any time. The email address is submissions at luke at the roost.com. Now we're starting the show a little bit early today because I can, and our phones are already lighting up. So we're going to go to the phones and see what's going on. First up, we have Donnie. Donnie, welcome to the show. What's happened? What can we help you with today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Hey, yeah, Luke. Thanks for taking the call. So I was reading about this thing called the Great Oxygenation Event. It happened like two and a half billion years ago. All these bacteria started making oxygen, and it killed almost everything on the planet just wiped it out too much oxygen</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>i mean don't most things on the planet need oxygen to survive</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>well yeah now they do but back then nothing needed it it was poisoned to them all the like that existed the oxygen just it killed them</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>well that's interesting do you think that's part of what uh helped spur growth as we know it today life on this planet and it was the great oxygenation from the bacteria</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>that's the thing yeah that's exactly it the catastrophe made everything else possible like us sitting here talking right now that only happens because billions of years ago everything died the poison became the thing we need i don't know</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>well that's interesting the poison is the thing we need that should be the name of this episode the poison is the thing we need uh so the bacteria created a bunch of oxygen it killed off everything that was on the planet which would have been what before before oxygenated Was there just other bacteria?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Yeah, anaerobic bacteria. They lived without oxygen. And then the cyanobacteria show up and start photosynthesizing. And just pump all this oxygen into the atmosphere and the ocean, and it's toxic to everything else. It took millions of years, but it basically ended that world. And then after, you know, after everything's gone, that's when the new stuff can start, the stuff that uses oxygen.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so when do you think we're due for a new? new great oxygenation or carbon dioxide nation. What are you think is going to take out life as we know it on the planet now so that the next version of life can materialize?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>I don't know if it works like that. I mean, maybe it does. I was just thinking about how you can't always tell when you're in the middle of it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I guess we wouldn't be able to tell because we'd be dying. But that's an interesting story. Do you have anything else to add?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>No. I just. I've been thinking about it a lot this week, how the worst thing that ever happened was also the best thing. And you can't have one without the other.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, sir, you can't have one without the other. Just like, what do they say? Love and marriage. Love and... All right. Next up, we have Rochelle. Rochelle is a returning caller. Welcome back to the show.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>Hey, Luke. Oh, my God. I couldn't believe my own eyes when I saw Donnie was on earlier. I was in the kitchen doing dishes and I literally had to stop because I was laughing so hard. The oxygen thing, killing everything off to save everything, that was beautiful, man.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Ah, yeah, killing everything off to save everything. It's hilarious. I understand. What are you calling in for today, Rochelle?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>Okay, so I did it. I broke up with Marcus like two weeks ago. And I've been doing the whole single thing, right? Like really trying to sit with myself, not jump into anything. I even deleted the dating apps.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and how's that working out for you? What are you filling your time with, and if it's not random men?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>Well, that's the thing, though. I've been filling it with, I mean, I've been good. I've been taking the kids to this new trampoline park over in Rio Rancho on weekends. Been helping Rosa with her garden, which is actually really nice.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, congratulations. Good for you. Did you have a problem or an issue that you wanted to talk through on the show, or you're just calling to give us an update about your relationship status?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>No, there's definitely something. So David texted me last Thursday, my ex-husband, first time since I turned off the location sharing thing. And he said he wanted to drop off some boxes of my stuff he found in his storage unit.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, do you know what's in the boxes? Obviously, you're missing the stuff, so have you identified which of your own stuff you're missing?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>That's what I asked him. I was like, what stuff? Because when we split everything up, I was so careful. I made spreadsheets, Luke. I had a whole system.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's in the box? Do you think it's maybe a severed head or just an excuse for David to come talk to you again?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>Oh, it's definitely an excuse. I know that. He told me it was like old photo albums and some kitchen stuff. But when he brought them over on Saturday, it was just, it was my old college textbooks.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, so he already brought the boxes over. All right. So what did he have to say for himself?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>He stood on my porch for like 40 minutes, just talking. Started with the boxes. Then he's asking about the kids. how he joined this hiking group, and they went up to the Sandia's last weekend. And the whole time I'm just standing there in my doorway, and I couldn't believe my own eyes, because he looked. Good, you know?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So obviously you're really taking this single thing to heart, huh?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>Okay, yeah, I hear how that sounds. But I didn't invite him in or anything. I kept it on the porch. And then yesterday, Angie, my cousin, she calls me and says she saw David at Trader Joe's, and he was buying all this fancy cheese and wine, like date night stuff.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't drink wine, but I sometimes enjoy a fancy pepperjack. So maybe he just enjoys wine and cheese, and that's what he was doing. I mean, I don't think you need to concern yourself with what David's doing. You're a single woman, and you're refinding yourself right now. So stop worrying about David and other dudes, and keep working on your garden and finding ways to move forward in your own life.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>You're right. You're completely right. The thing is, is, though, I looked at the app again after he left, just to see. And I know I turned off sharing my location with him, but I can still see his if I want to. And he never turned his off for me.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, you're being a little bit crazy now, and I think you should just get rid of that app. You told me already you deleted the apps, and obviously you haven't. So you're lying to me, you're lying to yourself. And if you want to move forward with your life, then move forward with your life. And if you want to, you know, rekindle whatever relationship you have with this dude, do that. But But it's not very interesting for this show. You're back and forth here.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>Okay. Okay. You're right. I'm deleting it right now. I'm doing it. But can I just tell you one more thing?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, you can. What is that thing?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>Sunday night, I drove past the Sonic where he parked that time, the one near my house. And his Tacoma was there. Same spot. And I sat in the Dairy Queen parking lot across the street for like 20 minutes just watching his truck. And I realized he probably saw me.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so you're really just painting a picture of yourself as a main. and you really need to stop. I don't know why you think I would think that this is interesting, but I don't. Okay, so if you want some advice and you're going to take the advice, I'm happy to give it to you. But if you just want to tell me about, you know, David, I really don't care.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCHELLE</span><p>No, I want the advice. I'm sorry. I know I sound crazy.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, thank you for the call, and we hope that you don't call us again tomorrow with the same shit, Rochelle. You're going to have to figure out your life there, because I don't have any advice for you that you're going to take. So, next up on the line, we got Mikey. Mikey, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I just dropped off this Tesla, right? And the whole ride back this guy's going on about his grind, how he's up at 4 in the morning, working until midnight, hasn't seen his kids awake in weeks, and he's saying it like it's a good thing, like he's winning. And I'm sitting there thinking, man, I used to be you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I think we all did. That's part of our culture. It's to grind and work and grind and always be busy. And I think we've learned through study after study that that's not any way to live. And it's a good way to burn yourself out and get taken advantage of by exploitative employers.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Exactly. And here's the thing that got me. This guy couldn't have been more than 30, and he already looked like he needed a defibrillator, like physically looked bad. And I'm watching him and I'm like, dude, I burned my second marriage to the ground doing exactly what you're doing. I thought saying yes to every call, every hour, every toe in the middle of the night was proving something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, sometimes you can do that and sometimes you can't, you know, but everybody has to learn for themselves where their limits are and learn how to stand up for those limits. the hard part that a lot of people never get is, when is it time to say no? When is a time to step back? And how much forward momentum is really necessary without harming yourself and the rest of the things in your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Yeah, and that's what I never figured out until it was too late. Like, I didn't know how to say no because I thought the work was the point. I thought if I just kept showing up, kept grinding, that would be enough. But my ex-wife, she didn't leave because I wasn't making money.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why did she leave?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>She left because I wasn't there. Like, physically I'd come home, but I was already thinking about the next call, the next job. I'd be sitting at dinner and my phone would go off and I'd just get up and leave every time. And she'd say, can't someone else get it? And I'd say, this is what pays the bills.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, and I think you've learned that there's more to life than paying bills. And that's a lesson that we all have to learn. In this world, I think we're starting to understand that, especially after COVID. the whole COVID situation really opened people's eyes up to how much we were wasting on capitalism.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Yeah. Well, here's the kicker, though. I still don't know if I actually learned it. Like, I'm still taking every call. I'm still out there at two in the morning hauling in some drunks Camry. The difference is now I don't have anyone waiting up for me. So it doesn't feel like I'm letting anybody down, which is maybe worse. I don't know.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's a balance, right? If you're at a special spot in your life where you don't have anything else going on. Maybe that is the best use of your time. If it's keeping you occupied, you're being productive, and there's nothing that you're letting fall by the wayside, like your own personal health and nutrition and peace of mind, then good. You can do that. But you have to know when to ramp up and when to ramp down. And at some point in the future, you're going to want to have some sort of meaningful relationship with people or be involved in your community or take on some sort of volunteer or philanthropy or something like that. There's more to life than work. And if you put all of yourself into your work forever, I mean, at the end, you're not going to get anything out of it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>You're right. And I know you're right. But here's what scares me. I've been filling the time with other stuff. Like, I go home and I watch these quantum physics videos until three in the morning. Just completely fall down these rabbit holes about particle entanglement and the observer effect.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, but that's not really filling your life with other stuff. stuff is that's just consuming content to go to bed. That's not doing anything meaningful or making relationships or moving forward any personal goals. It's, uh, I don't want to say wasting time because you're learning and you're listening to something that you find interesting, but it's, it's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about, uh, getting something out of life, a project, hobby, uh, friendships, um, some, some, uh, greater purpose or meaning or, uh, involvement with your community and the world.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I'm just swapping one way of checking out for another. Like, before it was burying myself in work so I didn't have to deal with anything? And now it's burying myself in videos about the double-slit experiment, so I don't have to think about the fact that I haven't had a real conversation with someone in weeks. My phone goes off, I answer it, I hook up a car, I drop it off, I go home, I watch videos. I fall asleep. That's the whole loop.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And that might be okay for you right now at where you're, at in your life. But just make sure that the remainder of your life isn't just that. Because that's very small. And there's a lot more out there to experience and to be a part of and to contribute to. So do what you have to do now to get yourself through and pay your bills and keep yourself moving forward. But don't forget that there's a lot more to life than just working.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>You know what gets me, though? That Tesla guy tonight, the one I picked up, he's doing the same thing I did. He's 30 years old, hasn't seen his kids awake in weeks, and he's proud of it. He's bragging about his 4 a.m. cold plunges and his 18-hour days like it's some kind of badge of honor. And I wanted to tell him, man, you're going to wake up one day and realize you traded everything that mattered for a bunch of nothing.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's the thing that everybody has to learn for themselves, right? And I think that we all, and collectively as a society, are learning that, especially as we see continuous mass layoffs of people and the loyalty erosion of corporate America and just the current state of our country. I think we understand that we've been kind of chasing this line of bullshit. And something has to change if we want to have happy, productive, fulfilled lives. So learn that for yourself.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And you can't, you can't, you can't teach it to anybody. They have to get to a place where they realize it on their own. So he's 30. 30's still pretty young. He's right about at the state where he should kind of be figuring that out because everything in his life is going to fall away. And all he's going to have is, you know, work. And it's not even particularly interesting work.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>Yeah, and that's the thing. I couldn't say anything to him because what am I going to say? Look at me. I'm the guy who already learned this lesson, and I'm still doing the exact same thing just alone now. At least he's got the kids somewhere, even if he's not seeing them. I don't even have that anymore. My ex moved on, remarried some accountant who's home for dinner every night.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Everybody's path is different, man. If some people don't want to be home every night, that's boring to them. That's not fulfilling, you know, what they want out of their life. They want to be out doing stuff traveling. If your work takes you to the places you want to be to interact with the people you want to interact with, great. Then you can get two birds stoned at once. But largely it doesn't. And I think we just chase it for some, I don't know, false notion of what we're supposed to do. I think we've been trained that way from school all the way up. And we're learning now through numerous scientific studies that it's not good for us. So people are waking up. And you should too, when you're ready.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>I hear you. I think part of it is I don't even know what I'd do with myself if I wasn't working or watching videos. What does that even look like? I go to some community center and play bingo? Join a book club? I'm not being a smart ass. I genuinely don't know what the next step is.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe it is. If you like bingo and you like your community, then hanging out at the community center isn't a bad thing. I mean, you might find out that they need your help and some of your special skills to keep the community center rolling. Or, you know, you could take up hiking or travel or photography or music or any kind of hobbies that you're into or wanted to be into. You could start a business. You can use that knowledge that you have to run your own YouTube channel and talk about, you know, your quantum physics stuff. There's tons of avenues that you can take. It's just you don't want to sit around and rot away and only consume content and work. Right? That's, you might as well be dead.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>That last part hit me. You're right. I've got all this knowledge rattling around in my head about quantum mechanics, and I'm not doing anything with it except using it to fall asleep. I could actually share that stuff. Make it make sense for people.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You can try. I mean, you're going to have to go a little deeper than the double split experiment because there's certainly enough content about that and it's not that difficult a concept to grasp. So I would recommend veering out a little bit into something a little more unique than the double split experiment. It's been kind of done to death. But if you're into quantum physics, I'm sure you can find a way to make that interesting and maybe make it your career.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>doesn't have to be your career. It just do something, you know, even if it's just for you and nobody sees it. Yeah, no, the double slit is just where I started. I've been going down all these rabbit holes about quantum entanglement, the measurement problem, all that stuff. There's this one thing about quantum tunneling that blows my mind. Particles passing through barriers, they shouldn't be able to get through.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there you go. Maybe you can come up with some sort of demonstration of that or, you know, do some research and get your yourself into academia. And if that's your thing, that's your thing. And that's what you should do. But, hey there, we got to get to our sponsors here, Mikey. So if you have anything else to finish up with, I'll let you do that, and then I got to go.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MIKEY</span><p>No, I appreciate you letting me ramble. I think I needed to hear some of this stuff tonight. Maybe I'll actually do something with it instead of just letting it sit in my head.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Thanks, Mikey. I hope that, you know, you continue doing what you've got to do to move yourself forward and then when it's time, you can expand your life into the other areas where you can get the maximum fulfillment out of it. And that was time for a word from our sponsors. I used to sleep on a rolled up horse blanket. I'm not saying that for sympathy. I'm saying it because Pillow Forever asked me to establish a before state, and that's mine. Pillow Forever is a memory foam pillow that remembers your head shape so you don't have to. It's got cooling gel, bamboo fiber, and a 30-night risk-free trial, which means you can sleep on it for a month and then send it back, and someone in a warehouse is to deal with that. Every pillow forever comes in a box that's too small, which is part of the experience. You open it? And it slowly expands like a nature documentary. My dog tried to fight it. Pillow forever. You deserve better than a horse blanket. You deserve better than a horse blanket. That's what we always say here, at Luke on the roost. And next up, we got Nikki. Nicky, Nikki, welcome to the show. What's going on?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Hey, Luke, yeah. Hi. Am I on? Okay. Um, sorry, I know it's late to be calling. So I run a dog grooming business down in animas. Been doing it about three years now. And I have this business partner.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, what about your business partner? Tell us about your business partner.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>So Jason came in about a year and a half ago. I needed help with the books, the scheduling, you know, the business side of things, because I'm good with the dogs, but I'm terrible at all that stuff. And he seemed great at first. Really organized had all these ideas about marketing and expanding. My sister Lena told me not to trust him. Said he had a reputation around Flagstaff for being shady, but I thought she was just being overprotective. Anyway, I could not sleep last week, just one of those nights. So I'm sitting there at like three in the morning going through our accounts, and I start noticing these withdrawals.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Uh-oh, when somebody says the word shady in tandem with accounting, that's never good. So what are the withdrawals about?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Yeah, so it's almost $8,000 over the past year. Small amounts, You know, 300 here, 500 there, nothing that would jump out at you if you're just glancing at the monthly statements. But when I went back and cross-checked them against the actual receipts and deposits, they don't match up. Money's just gone.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's a little thing we like to call fraud. So have you talked to any of the authorities about this?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>No, not yet. I confronted Jason yesterday afternoon. Showed him everything I found. All the discrepancies laid out. And Luke, he just leaned back in his chair and smiled at me. Like this calm, easy smile.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. That's maniacal. And then what happened? Did he say anything in response? Or did you just smile awkwardly and then you left?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>No. He said two words. He said, prove it. That's all he said. Just prove it with that smile. And then he got up and left the shop. And the thing is, I keep going over it in my head. Like, what does that mean? Does he have the receipts hidden somewhere?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I would call the cops because it sounds like he's ripping you off. And it sounds like you can prove it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>That's what Lena said when I called her, but I keep thinking, what if I'm wrong? What if there's some explanation I'm missing? I've been sitting here on the floor of the shop for four hours going through everything again, and the numbers are right there, but he seemed so confident. Like he knows something I don't.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe he does, but I would engage the authorities sooner rather than later, because now he knows that you're onto him, and the more time you give him, the more concrete he'll be able to make his defense.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So catch him as quickly as you can before he has to time to cover anything up.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're right. God, you're right. I've been sitting here like an idiot, second-guessing myself when I should have called the police this afternoon. I just kept thinking maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I misunderstood something, but $8,000 doesn't just disappear. And I trusted him. That's the part that makes me feel so stupid.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's the thing. You can't trust anybody. And that's just the way the world is. So you trusted him. It looks like he burned you. He gave you every indication that he did, in fact, burn you, and now you have to take whatever steps you can to protect yourself. And that's to immediately call the authority. So you should do that and let them know what happened and try to catch him before he leaves town with your $8 grand.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, yeah, I'm going to call them as soon as we hang up. I've got all the paperwork right here. Everything's documented. You know what the worst part is?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What is the worst part?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Lena told me not to go into business with him. Before she moved to Flagstaff, she said Jason was sketchy, that he'd burned people before. And I told her she was being paranoid, that he seemed like a good guy.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, all con men seem like good guys. That's sort of the job. I mean, that's what they do. And it's, you don't have to feel shame in getting fleeced by this guy. I mean, that's their skill. That's what they're good at. So just get off the phone with me, call the police, and start whatever proceedings you have to to get your money back as soon as you can.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're right. I'm doing it now. Thank you, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, good luck. And that is why we don't. Don't partner with people because partners burn us every fucking time. And next up, we've got Frankie. Frankie, welcome to the show. What's going on?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I'm a home health nurse, right? And two days ago, I found out my neighbor Dale has been running surveillance on the whole street with his ring camera. Like, full spreadsheets.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Full spreadsheets of what? What kind of information? Like what time people are walking by or like when they walk their dogs? What could he possibly be spreadsheets?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>time stamps of when everyone comes and goes, what vehicles were driving, notes about who's visiting who. I found out because his ex-wife is one of my patients. She's got MS. I see her twice a week. And she showed me the file on her laptop. There's an entry from me that says, 247 a.m. White sedan unknown from when I got back from an overnight shift. The guy's literally keeping tabs on the whole neighborhood, like he's running a stakeout.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's a pretty weird thing. I don't legal for him to do with his home video camera to just watch the footage and then take note of everything that happens. It's creepy and it's weird and it's wrong and I'd be pissed off about it, but I don't think it's illegal.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>Oh yeah. No, I looked it up. Totally legal as long as the cameras pointed at his own property and the street, which is public. That's not even the part that's driving me crazy. It's that now I can't stop thinking about it. Like, I've been staying at my cousin Rubin's place in Magdalena for three nights now because I don't want to give Dale the satisfaction of logging my schedule.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know if that's the way I'd go with it. I mean, you can, but I would rather mess with Dale's data. Like, get a bunch of friends to drive around at random times and kind of poison his spreadsheet, so he thinks he's got this great database of information, but it's all nonsense. I mean, that's how we're going to defeat AI. If you want to defeat AI, the only way to do it is defeat it bad information.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>Oh, man, that's actually brilliant. I could get the over-neighed night crew from work involved. We're all degenerates anyway. Half of us are coming and going at weird hours. Just flood his data with noise until he can't tell what's real anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, make him so busy logging nonsensical data that is not useful. But keep in mind, if there ever is an issue when you need that data from him for some reason, if there's ever a theft or a home invasion or just some kid smashing pumpkins or stealing Amazon packages, it could be good to have somebody like that in your neighborhood that knows everything where you can go and get that authoritative source of what's going on.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>Okay, see, that's the thing, though. Dale's not doing this to be helpful. This is the same guy who called the cops on the Martinez family last year because their nephew was visiting from Albuquerque. And Dale decided a brown kid in a hoodie sitting in a car was suspicious activity. Turned out the kid was just waiting for his aunt to get home from work. And, listening to music. Dale's not neighborhood watch. He's neighborhood paranoia with a spreadsheet. And honestly, I think he might be living in his truck.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He's living in his truck, but he's using his house ring camera to collect this data. That's a little weird.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>Yeah, his ex-wife kicked him out like six months ago, but he still owns the house, so the ring camera's still up. I've seen his F-150 parked in different spots around town at night, with the windows fogged up. The whole thing is just sad, honestly. Like, I started this call ready to make it into a bit about suburban surveillance state nonsense, but now I'm realizing I'm hiding out at my cousin's place watching Severance for the third time instead of just going home because I'm letting some divorced guy in a truck get in my... my head. That's pathetic, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I mean, it's pathetic on a couple of different levels, for you and for him, and it's sad all the way around. But I think one way to deal with this would be to just go, you know, knock on his F-150 window and ask him, you know, what the hell? You're recording me and I don't like it and ask him to stop.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>You know what? You're right. You're right. I should just go talk to him like a human being instead of treating this like it's some true crime podcast I'm living in. The guy sleeping in his truck and obsessive logging traffic patterns. He's clearly not doing great. Maybe I just knock on the window. Tell him I know about the spreadsheet and ask him what he's actually trying to accomplish here.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, maybe you two could team up and become great friends and solve crimes together. You never know.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">FRANKIE</span><p>Oh, God. That's the nightmare scenario. Me and Dale in his F-150 at three in the morning. Him with his spreadsheet. Me with my work stories about patients' weird moles. Just two insomniacs convinced where the only ones keep Magdalena safe. Although, honestly, knowing my life, that's probably exactly what's going to happen. I'll update you if we start a podcast together.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right there, Frankie. Thanks for the call, and I hope you do start that podcast. Let us know. Give us a call back and let us know if you ever start that podcast, and I know I will listen to it. So next up here on the old phone lines, we've got Connie. Connie, welcome to the show. What's happening tonight in your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CONNIE</span><p>Oh gosh, hi, Luke. Thank you so much for taking my call. So I got really drunk at my daughter's eighth birthday party five days ago and nobody will talk to me about it. And I think I'm losing my mind.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Is there any video evidence of you acting out at this birthday party? I don't think you're the first person to ever be in that situation.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CONNIE</span><p>No, thank goodness, no video. At least I don't think so. It was just other moms and some dads and my husband and his sister. But Luke, I don't remember half of it. I remember. I remember.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's certainly embarrassing. But if this is one-time thing and it's not a pattern of excessive drinking, then, you know, everybody's entitled a couple of those. It's too bad that it happened at your kid's birthday party, but, you know, nobody's perfect.!</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CONNIE</span><p>So I would say, yeah, you're probably going to get some weird looks for this for a while, but it'll blow over. And just make sure that you're not drinking like this consistently. But that's what's making me crazy, Luke. The silence. Like, my sister-in-law put her jacket on me and clearly got me to the couch. My husband was there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's embarrassing. You embarrassed yourself. It happens. It's unfortunate that it happened where it happened in front of a kid, but this is the type of thing that I think you'll all look back on in 10 years and be like, remember that time? Mom blacked out and swung naked from the pinata when she was drunk at my eighth birthday party? And everybody will laugh and laugh and laugh.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CONNIE</span><p>Oh, gosh. I wasn't naked. Was I? No, I had clothes on when I woke up. Luke, you're making jokes, but I keep thinking, what if I said something terrible?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Then you'll have to be forgiven by your friends and family because, I mean, you were blocked out. You can't know if you said something terrible unless somebody tells you. So let's just go with you didn't until you learn otherwise. And if you did, you have to make apologies and, you know, suck that up because you acted irresponsibly.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CONNIE</span><p>You're right. You're right. I should just ask. I keep waiting for someone to bring it up, but maybe they're waiting for me to bring it up. Oh, shoot. What if they think I don't even care because I haven't apologized? I sent a text to the group chat the next day saying, thanks for a great party, but I didn't mention anything about getting drunk. Because I was hoping maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, it probably was as bad as you thought. But you know what? Everybody's seen that happen before with other people or been, you know, the one that was doing it themselves. So people do understand. And they know what it's like to be so drunk that you don't know what happened. Or at least a lot of people do. Or they've seen somebody else act in that way. So don't worry about it too much. Just don't do it again.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CONNIE</span><p>You know what? You're making me feel better. I've been sitting in here folding laundry for five days, just replaying what I can remember over and over. My husband's watching TV in the next room right now, and I've been hiding in the laundry room because I'm so ashamed. Maybe I just need to go out there and say, hey, Can we talk about Saturday and get it over with?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, no matter what you did, it wasn't that bad. I mean, you didn't sign over your house to the casino or get married to a hooker in Vegas or, you know, you didn't do anything that can't be fixed. So don't worry too much about it. Don't do it again. Be careful and make apologies if you have to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CONNIE</span><p>You're absolutely right. I think I've been making it bigger in my head than it actually is. I mean, Maya had a great time at her party. all the presents she wanted. And she hasn't said anything weird to me about it, so she probably doesn't even remember much. And Bethany was doing shots with me, so she can't judge. I'm just going to talk to my husband tonight and apologize to my sister-in-law tomorrow.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>There you go. That's the way to handle it. And be careful. Watch the drinking, because there might come a time when you're in a situation where it's not so easy to recover from. With that, we have to take a small word from our sponsors. Life is hard. You're listening to a man in an RV talk to strangers at 2 in the morning, so you already know that. That's why we partnered with Better Maybe, online therapy that's honest about the whole situation. With Better Maybe, you get matched with a licensed therapist within 48 hours. Will they fix your problems? Maybe. That's the whole brand. They're not going to lie to you. Your first session might change your life. It also might just be used. staring at the webcam while someone in another time zone nods politely. That's still more than your friends are doing. Better maybe. It's better than nothing, and that's not nothing. All right, and we are back. Here we go. We've got Ray on the line. Ray, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RAY</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So my neighbor set off M-80s in his driveway at 1030.30. tonight and my son ended up under the kitchen table.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, how come you guys didn't go out and enjoy the festivities?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RAY</span><p>Enjoy the, Luke. It's a Wednesday night. People got work in the morning, but that's not even the thing. My son Marcos just got back from his second deployment in December. He's home on winter break from grad school. And the second those things started going off, he just dropped, like his body knew what to do before his brain caught up. I found him under the table with his hands over his head and this look on his face I haven't seen since he first got back two years ago.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that is too bad and he should maybe, I'm not sure if he is, but he should maybe be in some therapy for that post-traumatic stress. But here we are in the desert, right? These are the frontier states where people are going to blow off M80s and shoot guns. That's kind of, that's part of the appeal of this area. So it's not necessarily always a serene and quiet retreat. can really do here is talk to your neighbor and explain the situation and ask him to be a little more considerate next time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RAY</span><p>Yeah, no, you're right. He isn't therapy. He's been going since he got back. And I get it. I do. People want to blow stuff up. It's a free country. I already went over there, told the guy about Marcos. He apologized, said he didn't know. Of course. How could he know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So it sounds like you've already solved this problem. What's eating at you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RAY</span><p>I don't know, man. It's just, I keep. He's seen his face. Like Marcos is doing good. You know? He's in a master's program for engineering. He's got his life together. He comes home and we watch basketball. We go to the gym together. And then one string of firecrackers and he's right back there. And I'm standing in the kitchen doorway watching my son under the table and I don't know what to do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, how could you know what to do? Did you talk to him about what to do, what he was feeling and maybe how you could be most helpful to him in that situation? I luckily have never had to go overseas or fight in any kind of war like that, so I don't have that stress reaction. But I can imagine that it's very unpleasant.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RAY</span><p>We talked after. Yeah, he was embarrassed more than anything. Kept apologizing, saying he was fine, that it just caught him off guard. I told him he didn't need to apologize to me. But he just went to his room. And that's the thing, Luke. I'm a physical therapist.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, this isn't really a physical thing. So I don't know that you really have any. qualification in this area. But I would be interested if you have the opportunity to have a more serious conversation with him about what he's feeling and what the correct way to interface with him in that moment would be. I think that would probably help both of you and the listeners here.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>If we knew, if we saw that happen to somebody, what the correct way to help them would be without making them feel worse about it, you know?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I'm to actually ask him instead of just standing there feeling useless. It's just hard because he doesn't want to talk about it, and I don't want to push him and make it worse.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you don't really have to push him. You can phrase that another way. You can say, look, when that happened, I mean, you should be able to talk about the event that happened without causing a problem. So you can say, when that happened with the M80s the other night, and you were obviously in distress, I felt useless. And if that ever happens again, I want to be able to be helpful to you. So I'd like to understand what happened to you and how I could best be supportive to you in those situations, right? You can't make all loud noises stop. There's going to be Fourth of July. There's going to be somebody firing off M80s or a car backfiring. You know, that's going to happen forever for the rest of his life. So getting him past it and getting you past it together, like something that's possible if you can talk it through.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That's good. That's really good, actually. I can do that. Because you're right. I can't bubble wrap the world for him. And he wouldn't want me to anyway.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I don't think he would. And also, it's just an interesting thing that I think we all need to recognize and understand that some people have those responses to loud stimulus like that. And none of us or most of us really have no idea how to deal with that, how to react to those people. So I personally would be interested in what the right way to help somebody in that situation would be. Okay, we're going to take one more call here. And that's going to be the end of our show. So I think we'll go to Amber. Amber, thanks for calling in. You're the last caller tonight. How can we help you?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I found $200 in a coat pocket. A coat I borrowed from my ex-best friend, Rachel, two years ago. And we haven't spoken since she moved to Flagstaff after this whole falling out we had and I need to know if this money is legally mine now or if I'm supposed to track her down somehow and give it back. I already looked up New Mexico Statute 30, 16, 6 on lost property, and technically, after holding onto something for two years without the owner claiming it, it becomes your property.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, it sounds like you went a little bit deep into this one. If it's cash money and it's in a coat and she moved away and you're in possession of the money, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I mean, how would you even get that money back to her if you wanted to? Congratulations on your new $200.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Well, that's the thing. I could technically get it to her. I mean, I know where she works because her Instagram is public even though she blocked me on everything else. She's at this coffee roastery in Flagstaff. I could mail it or Venmo it, except she blocked me there, too.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I mean, it sounds like you guys had a following out. She probably doesn't really want to talk to you. If she wanted the 200 bucks back, she would have come looking for it. I'd say just pocket the money and move on or donate it. You know, give it to somebody else. But I wouldn't rekindle that friendship over $200 that's been sitting in a pocket for two years.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Right, but here's what's eating at me. I don't actually know if it's her money. Like it could be mine from two years ago and I just forgot I put it there. Or it could be hers and she forgot. And if it is hers, and she's been struggling financially, which she might be because she moved back in with her parents after the move, then keeping it makes me the person she's she already thinks I am, which is part of why we're not speaking in the first place.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, if you want to give her the money back, then, I mean, mail out of the money. But I'm thinking that probably you should just pocket this $200 and move on with your life and forget about her. Because obviously you two don't want to speak to each other and she's moved away, and it was two years ago. So, I mean, this doesn't seem like a thing that has to be keeping you up at night.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>You're right, it shouldn't be keeping me up at night. But the reason I'm actually calling is because my friend Tammy from church said, the exact same thing you just said. Just keep it. It's been two years. Forget about it. And when she said that, I got so annoyed with her. Like, unreasonably annoyed. I snapped at her in the church parking lot over it. And now I'm wondering if the money is even the actual problem, or if I'm just looking for an excuse to reach out to Rachel, and this is the only one I've got that doesn't make me look desperate.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that seems to be the case, because this is not a difficult, um, uh, obstacle to, to, to, Shit, this is not a hard problem, right? You could just keep the money and be done with it. But since you don't seem to want to accept that, it seems like you want to talk to your friend that you miss. And that's okay, too. And it's perfectly okay to reach out to an old friend and say, hey, sorry, you know, things ended the way they did, but I'd like to talk to you again because I miss you. That's okay, too. If that's what you want to do, I give you permission.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Okay, but here's the thing. I can't just say I miss her because I'm the one who messed up. She didn't end the friendship I did. She started dating this guy Trevor, who I thought was using her. And I told her that. And then I told her sister that. And then I may have also told Trevor's ex-girlfriend some things Rachel told me in confidence about their relationship. And I thought I was protecting her. But really, I was just being controlling and inserting myself where I had no business being. She found out what I did, and she was right to cut me off.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, it seems like you understand the problem, and you can still reach out to her and say you miss her and you'd like to re-handle the friendship and you're sorry for what you did and you won't do it again. Because it sounds like you understand that. You take responsibility for what you did wrong here. And that's a good thing. And if you miss this friendship and you want it to continue, then reach out, give her $200 bucks back and see how that goes. But also, if it doesn't go the way you want, accept that.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>Yeah, I know I need to accept that possibility. But what if giving her the money back just looks like I'm trying to buy my way back into her life? worse. What if she doesn't even remember putting money in that coat? And now I'm just reminding her that I still have her stuff after two years. Which makes me look like I've been holding on to it for sentimental reasons, which I kind of have been, honestly.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's okay. You don't have to think about it that much. If you want to talk to your old friend, then talk to your old friend. And if you don't, then pocket the $200 and move on. That's what I have to say.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">AMBER</span><p>You're right. I'm overthinking this because I'm scared. I'll mail her the money with a note that just says I'm sorry and I miss her. And if she wants to talk, I'm here. And if she doesn't respond, then at least I tried and I can actually move on instead of sitting in this break room at two in the morning, staring at $200 bills like they're going to tell me what to do. Thank you, Luke.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You are very welcome, and I hope that works out for you. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of tonight's show. So thanks for tuning in. If you'd like to follow us, we're on all the socials or whatever social you like, you can find Luke at the roost. give us a little follow. It would help us out a lot if you use the old Apple Podcasts to leave a review of the show because that's what helps other people to find it. So thanks again, everybody. I hope you have a wonderful night.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 23: Secrets, Lies, and Revelations</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-27T07:20:16+00:00">February 27, 2026</time> · 1 hr 8 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this episode, Luke tackles a range of issues from a married man's affair with his personal trainer, to a woman struggling with a gambling-addicted girlfriend, and a neighbor's water theft. The callers open up about their personal lives, seeking advice and clarity. Will the secrets be revealed, and will the callers find the courage to face their challenges head-on? Tune in to find out!</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Luke. This is Luke at the Roost, the call-in radio show, where you can call in and talk to me about what's going on in your life, and I'll give you the best advice I can. If you'd like to call in, our number is 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. It is Thursday, February 26th, and we're going to get to to the phones right away today. We've got Cedric on the line. Cedric, what's going on? How can we help you today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, uh, thanks for taking the call. I've been listening for a while. Figured I, I don't know, maybe you can help me think through something. So I've got this situation with my gym. I've been going to the same place for like two years now. Same personal trainer. We've got a good routine going.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, what's the problem with your gym?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>go, I ran into him at the Safeway, my trainer.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, is this a problem with your gym or a problem with your trainer? I think I know where this is going.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>Yeah, it's, okay, so we got beers. Just ran into each other. He was grabbing groceries. I was grabbing groceries, and he asked if I wanted to grab a beer, and I said, yeah. And then we ended up sleeping together.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>In the safe way?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>Yeah, yeah, safe. But now, now I've still got sessions with him twice a week. Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I've already paid through March. And it's like...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's like what? I mean, you slept with your personal trainer. Could you be more cliche?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>I know. I know. But it's really awkward now. Like neither of us is saying anything about it, but when he's spotting me or doing assisted stretches, we're both just... We're so aware of where hands are going, you know? And I'm married.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you cheated on your wife with your male personal trainer at the same thing?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>safe way. Well, not at the safe way. After. But yeah, and my wife and I, we got married young, like 22 high school sweethearts, and we're still kind of...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're still kind of what?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>We're still figuring out what the rules are, I guess. Like what counts? Whether this even matters if it was just once. I haven't told her yet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I think it matters. You cheated on your wife with a dude. She's probably not going to be happy about that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>I know. I know she won't be. But also, like, I keep thinking about the logistics of it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>The logistics of what?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>The gym situation. The contract. The fact that Sierra Vista is too small to just disappear.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, you can't disappear. Do you have feelings for this trainer dude? More so than the wife that you married?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>No. I mean, I don't know. It wasn't like that. We just ran into each other at Safeway. Got beers. And then it just kind of happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You just went to a grocery store and fell into his asshole? Like, I don't understand how that just happened. You just happened to have sex with a guy at the grocery store? Like, what are you talking about? It just happened. That was a conscious decision that you both had to make. Like, you had to figure out where you were going to go and how you were going to do it. It wasn't like a spur of the moment situation. You left a store to go somewhere else to have sex.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>You're right. Okay. Yeah. We went back to his... place, it wasn't just, it didn't just happen.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so what's the deal? You're going to tell your wife about this and how's she going to react?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>I don't know if I'm going to tell her. That's kind of why I called, because I keep going to these sessions on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and we just don't talk about it. We do the stretches, and he spots me, and neither of us says anything, but we both know. And I've got the contract through March, and I already paid, and there's nowhere else to go in town.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, here's my advice. because not telling your wife is a rotten thing to do. And deal with the fallout of that. And if you, if things are weird with your personal trainer and things are weird with your wife, which they will be, eat the money. And just don't go. You don't need a personal trainer. You can, you know how to do your, your fucking deadlifts.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I just, I keep thinking if I can just get through March without making it weird, then the contract's up and I can just let it expire. And nobody has to know, and it goes away.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You'll know. He'll know. And it won't go away. It'll haunt you for the rest of your life because you'll be keeping this massive secret from your betrothed.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>I know. I know you're right. It's just we've been together since high school, since we were 17. And I don't even know if this means something about me or if it was just a one-time thing or what it was.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it means a few things about you. It means you're into dudes, obviously. I don't know if you knew that or not. but if you have sex with a guy, you're into dudes. And it means you're a liar because you cheated on your wife without telling her and having that conversation first.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>I mean, I don't know if I'm into dudes. It was just him. I've never thought about that before.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, he is a dude, and you're into him, which would, by definition, mean you're into dudes.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>Yeah, okay. Yeah, you're right. I just, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. Like, do I tell her?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>that part too?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>Yeah, I would think so. I mean, the alternative is you're like, you know what? I'm not even into dudes. I just didn't want to have sex with you so badly that I had sex with him anyway, even though I don't like the male sex.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>God, when you put it like that, I just, we got married so young. And I don't think either of us really knew what we were doing. And she's a good person.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>Okay, well, do you still want to be married?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know. I mean, yeah? She's my best friend. We have a whole life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>Yeah, that doesn't sound very convincing, and it sounds like maybe you're undercutting her here, and that's not very fair.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you're right. I'm being a coward about this whole thing. I think I'm more worried about what happens after. Like, what do I even do in Sierra Vista if we split up? Everyone knows us together.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>You move on with your life, and people forget, and who cares what everybody else knows? If you don't want to be married, then don't be married, but don't string her along thinking that you're all in love and shit and then be out fucking dudes on the side. That's not cool.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're right. That's not fair to her. I need to tell her everything. The whole thing. Not just that it happened, but...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>Well, I don't know the woman, so, I mean, talk to her and let her know what happened and how you're feeling and see if that's something that you two can navigate if you want to stay together. Otherwise, let her off the hook, because what you're doing isn't right or fair to her. If you want to go off and you got married too young and you're not sure about it and you want to experiment and, you know, sow your wild oats or whatever, then do that, but let her go.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I know. I'm going to talk to her this weekend. Just lay it all out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CEDRIC</span><p>All right, buddy. Good luck to you. I hope that goes all right. And don't do that stuff. Don't cheat on your spouse. It's not cool. We have Shonda. Shonda, thanks for calling in. What's going on in your life today?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So, I got accidentally C-Ced on an email today, where my friends are planning an intervention for me this Saturday because they think I'm spiraling. But honestly, I think they're overreacting. And I just wanted to talk to someone who might actually listen before they all show up at my apartment.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Do you think your friends think you're spiraling?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>Well, I have been watching a lot of body cam footage lately. Like police body cam videos, dash cam stuff. And I guess I have missed a couple brunches because I was up until three in the morning watching them. So I was too tired.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So they're going to have an intervention because you missed brunch because you are up late watching body cam footage?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>Yeah. When you say it like that, it does sound kind of silly.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>But I think they're also worried because I've been staying late at work a lot to avoid going home. And I guess I've been talking about it maybe more than they want to hear about it. Like, I find it really fascinating how people behave under pressure, you know, in these high-stress situations.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why are you avoiding going home after work? What's going on at home?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>Oh gosh. Well, nothing terrible. I live alone. It's just kind of quiet and empty. And when I get home, I end up just opening my laptop and going down these rabbit holes. At work, I can at least have the body cam stuff on one side of my screen and my spreadsheets on the other, so I feel like I'm being productive. At home, it's just me and the videos. And suddenly, it's three in the morning and I haven't eaten dinner.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that is a strange thing. I mean, I know a lot of people have their rabbit holes that they go down into true crime and pimple popping or cake baking, whatever it might be. So it's not that weird that you found a thing that interests you and keeps your mind occupied, but if it's affecting your eating and your social life, that's a problem.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. I just feel like they're making it into this big scary thing. When really, I just got interested in something. Like, my friend Sarah sent this whole paragraph in the email about how I used to be so bubbly, and now I seem distant. And I'm like, I'm the same person. I just have a new interest. But yeah, the not eating thing, that's probably not great.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What is it about the body cam footage that you're finding so compelling? Like you said the high stress situations and people's reactions there, but, I mean, how can that continue to be compelling once you've seen, you know, a day's worth of them?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>That's actually a really good question. I think it's because every single one is different, you know? Like, you'd think after watching 100 traffic stops, they'd all blur together, but they don't. Some people completely fall apart. Some people get really polite and compliant. Some people try to run. Some people just shut down completely. And I keep thinking about what I would do, how I would react, if I was in that situation.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Does it turn you on, the power dynamic?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>What? No. Oh, gosh, no. It's not like that at all. It's more like, I don't know, studying human behavior. Like when you watch those nature documentaries and see how animals react when they're cornered.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I can understand that. And I can understand getting sucked into some kind of compelling true media like that. I mean, I'm sure it's not all even true. A bunch of that stuff is probably staged. But if it's affecting your life and keeping you up at night and you're not eating and you're not socializing with your friends, that's a problem that maybe they're right to be concerned about. So I would listen to them and strongly consider if this is kind of taking over your life more than you wanted to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>Yeah, you're probably right. I guess when my boss accidentally sent me that email and I saw how worried they all are, Part of me wanted to just prove them wrong, you know? Like show up to the intervention and be like, see, I'm fine. This is just a hobby. But sitting here talking to you about it, saying out loud that I'm not eating dinner and I'm avoiding my own apartment, that does sound like maybe it's gotten a little out of hand. I just hate the idea of them thinking I'm broken or something when I genuinely find this stuff, interesting, and educational.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you don't necessarily have to give it up. It doesn't sound like the media itself is a problem. If you're watching those videos at work and still being productive, you can, you know, have that plan in your ear pods while you're out going for a walk just to make sure you're getting enough sleep, you're eating, and you're taking care of yourself. And I wouldn't be, you said you're avoiding going home to your own apartment because you're just going to stay up all night on this rabbit hole of videos. That's not good, no matter what the videos are.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>You're absolutely right. It's not really about the videos themselves. It's about me using them to avoid other stuff. Like, I could watch this content in a normal way. But instead, I'm staying at my office until 11 at night because I don't want to be alone with my thoughts. And then the videos are just there to fill that space.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And what thoughts are you having that you're trying to get away from? What's going on in your head that you need to numb with the body cam footage?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>Oh, shoot, that's a hard question. I guess, well, my apartment just feels really empty lately. My roommate moved out in December to move in with her boyfriend. And I thought, I'd like having my own place, but it's just quiet all the time. And I keep thinking about how I'm 32, and I don't have that, you know? Like everyone's pairing off, and I'm just coming home to watch videos on my laptop.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but that's not the only thing you can do at home. You could come home to make yourself a nice dinner and exercise and, you know, create something, whatever your hobby is. It doesn't have to just be going home to watch content, you could go home and make content, or you could go out and participate in your community. There's a lot of things you could do to occupy your time and fill that space with something more productive. Why aren't you doing those other things?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>Because they all sound exhausting, honestly. Like making a nice dinner for one person? That just feels sad. And I used to paint a little bit. But when I set up my easel in the living room, it just reminded me that there's nobody there to see what I'm making or care if I finish it. I think the body cam videos are easy because they don't require anything from me. I can just watch other people's worst moments and feel like at least my life isn't that bad. At least I'm not getting arrested or having a breakdown on the side of the highway.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, but you do have your friends staging a literal intervention because they're concerned about your well-being and your health because of your behavior.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>Oh, gosh, yeah, when you put it like that. I guess I am having my own kind of breakdown. Just a slower, quieter one where I'm sitting at my desk instead of on the highway. That's actually kind of worse in a way, isn't it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know if there's a better or worse kind of breakdown, but it's definitely not healthy that. And I think you should hear your friends out when they stage this intervention because they care about you and they want to make sure that you're in good health. So listen to them. See if maybe they have good suggestions to kind of get you out of this slump. And maybe try to make some decisions, take some actions to pull yourself out of it and do something else. I'm not saying you have to stop watching these videos, that's, I don't think that's a problem. But you do have to participate in life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHONDA</span><p>You're right. I think I've been so defensive about it. Because I didn't want to admit that something's actually wrong. Like if I can just insist it's a normal hobby, then I don't have to deal with the loneliness part. But they're staging an intervention because they love me. Not because they think I'm weird. I should probably just go to the thing on Saturday and actually listen instead of trying to prove them wrong.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, that's what I think you should do because, I mean, watching videos isn't much of a hobby. I mean, I'm not going to say one hobby is better than another hobby, but if you're only consuming content, it's hard to even call that a hot. I mean, a hobby is woodworking or painting or singing or creating something of your own, not just consuming something that somebody else has created for you. Even people that are really into movies or music, they're not just listening to music or movies. They're formulating opinions and dissecting the directors and tension and writing essays and stuff.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So even those types of hobbies still have a creation component, whereas what you're describing is not that at all. That's a really good point.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I'm not even engaging with it critically. I'm just letting it wash over me. Like, I'm not learning anything about criminal justice or police procedures or even human psychology, really. I'm just numbing out. And I used to actually make things. I painted. I used to write these little essays about art exhibits I'd see. I stopped doing all of that, and I didn't even notice when it happened. I just gradually replaced creating with consuming until my whole life became about filling time instead of doing something with it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, it sounds like you have a plan. You're going to hear out your friends at their intervention. I'm not saying take all their advice, but be open to some of it because they may have good ideas. And I would suggest that you take some steps to move back into creating something or participating in life. And don't just put yourself to sleep with videos every night because that's a sad way to exist. And you probably can get more out of life than that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're absolutely right, Luke. Thank you for being honest with me instead of just letting me justify it. I think I needed someone outside my friend group to tell me the same thing they've been trying to say. I'm going to go to the intervention on Saturday with an open mind, and maybe this weekend I'll pull my easel back out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, I wish you the best of luck, and hopefully you don't end up on the wrong side of one of those body cam videos. And ladies and gentlemen, it is time. It's that time again for a word from our sponsors. This episode is brought to you by Desert Gut, the all-in-one nutritional supplement made from things you'd actually find within walking distance from my RV. Each scoop of Desert Gut contains 17 adaptogens, nine minerals scraped, directly off a rock, pulverized tumbleweed fiber, and a proprietary blend we're calling coyote dust, which our lawyers have asked me to clarify as not made from actual coyotes. Desert gut tastes like someone described the color beige to a blender, but you'll feel incredible or you'll feel something. First five callers get a free shaker bottle that definitely used to be a gas station coffee cup. Desert gut, because your gut isn't going to desert itself. All right, we're back here. And let's, uh, let's get back to the phones. First up, we've got Phil. Phil, welcome back to the show. You're a returning caller. What, uh, what can we do for you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, thanks for taking my call again. So, uh, remember last time I called, I was kind of freaking out about the whole situation with my wife, Teresa, and this open marriage thing we were trying. Well, fast forward to last week, Marcus and I, we have been seeing each other pretty regularly, then. Nothing serious, just dinners, and we have been taking it slow. And Teresa has been with her girlfriend Amanda. Everything seemed like it was working out the way we talked about. But then Sunday night, Marcus tells me he is moving.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, okay. So now how are you feeling now that your wife has something on the side and yours is taken off? Do you feel left out?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>No, it is not even that, really. I mean, yeah, maybe a little bit. But the thing that got me was how I reacted when he told me. We were sitting in his truck outside this diner over in Scotland. And he is telling me about this job offer in Portland. Really good opportunity for him. And I just, I nearly lost it. Like I felt this panic in my chest that I have not felt in years. And I realized I was way more attached to this guy than I thought I was. And here is the thing that is messing with me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's messing with you? This whole situation is a little bit interesting. It's unique.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>What is messing with me is that I went home that night. And I could not even look at Teresa, because I realized I have been lying to myself this whole time. I thought I was doing this open thing to make her happy, to keep our family together. Be the good guy, you know? But sitting in that truck with Marcus, feeling like my heart was being ripped out because he is leaving, I realized I actually have feelings for him, real feelings. The kind I have not had for Teresa in, I do not even know how long.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but you said that last time, too, you said you two had kind of a platonic relationship, but you were good partners and wanted to stay married for the other benefits of marriage sort of homosexual things on the side.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah, I know I said that, but I think I was still trying to convince myself that was enough, you know? Like, I could compartmentalize it. Marcus over here in this box. Teresa and our life together in that box. And everybody gets what they need. But when he said he was leaving, it was not just like losing a friend or even just a hookup.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, this dude broke your heart while you're married to this other woman who's flourishing with her girlfriend. It's a strange situation to be in, but you did kind of put yourself there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>You are right. And that is what I have been sitting with all week. I put myself here. I agreed to this whole thing thinking I was being evolved or whatever. But really, I was just avoiding the harder conversation. Because now I am looking at Teresa and she is happy. Like, genuinely happy in a way I have not seen her in years. She's texting Amanda all the time, smiling at her phone. And I am over here heartbroken over a guy I have been seeing for two months.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to continue your marriage with Teresa? I mean, I wouldn't say it's a sham marriage. You do say that you're good partners and you've got, you know, the other life stuff together entwined and that's working out well. Do you want to end your marriage with Teresa and move into your new gay lifestyle?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>That is the question I have been avoiding all week. And honestly, I do not know. Part of me thinks, okay, Marcus is leaving. This will pass. I will meet someone else eventually. Keep the arrangement with Teresa. But then I think about my uncle, Hector.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>He stayed in a marriage for 30 years. That was not really a marriage, just because it was easier than admitting what he actually wanted.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, if you've had enough a marriage and you're not into that and you don't see yourself continue in this arrangement for the long term, then talk to Teresa and end the marriage. Because it seems like, you know, she's got her own thing going on. You've got to figure out what it is that you want out of life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah, but here is what really gets me. I called you last time because I was freaking out about the arrangement. And you helped me calm down, realize I did not need to have it all figured out right away. And that was good advice. But now I am wondering if I use that as an excuse to just keep avoiding the real thing, which is that I do not think I want to be married anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's okay. That's what divorce is for. So, I mean, it sounds like you can talk to Teresa and end that marriage amicably and move on to whatever it is you want to move on to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>You make it sound so simple. And maybe it is. I mean, we do not have kids. The house is in both our names, but we could figure that out. She has her job. I have mine. It is not like 20 years ago when we were broke college kids who needed each other just to survive. But then I think about telling my Uncle Hector that I am getting divorced. And I already know what he is going to say.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It doesn't really matter what your uncle has to say. And I'm saying it, uh, simply because you're not coming at this from a place of hurt or anger. You both have already talked this through. You have a unique agreement. And I think if you bring this up and just explain that, hey, this isn't really working for me. I don't want to be married. I think that you can end that on a, maybe not a positive note, but not a negative one.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>You know what, you are right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Next up, we've got Marlene. Marlene, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life? Do you have a homosexual lover that you're conflicted about? Is that what's going on? It seems to be everybody's call today.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>No, nothing like that. I went to my manager's holiday party dressed as a full banana, and now I have a disciplinary meeting in the morning.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, why did you do such a thing?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>The invite said costume party. Big letters at the top. So I rented the whole setup, phone body, the stem on top, professional grade, showed up. and everyone's in sweaters, drinking wine, spritters, talking about their time shares?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so it was a costume party. You wore a costume. What's the discipline there? What else happened that would get you called into the manager's office?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Nothing happened. I just stayed. All four hours. Talk to Janet from accounting about her divorce while I'm standing there like a piece of fruit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It sounds like an interesting party. I wouldn't worry about it too much because it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. Might be a little embarrassed that you were the only one that I don't know that there's any reason for discipline there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>That's what I thought. But apparently showing up in a banana costume to discuss quarterly performance metrics demonstrates lack of professional judgment. Direct quote from the email. Meetings at nine tomorrow morning with my manager and someone from corporate HR.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think you just need to explain that it was a misunderstanding. Because if you were going to a costume party, it wasn't to discuss quarterly performance metrics. So you were called to that party under false pretenses. of the purpose of the party.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>See, that's the thing though. The endbot had both. Top half said costume party. Bottom half had the agenda with all the work stuff. I've just figured we'd do the boring part fast and then actually party. But no, four hours of standing next to the veggie tray and full banana while Greg from IT pitched his fantasy football league.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think you have to worry about it. Just explain that you didn't understand the instructions because that's not clear. Said costume party, you wore a costume, it wasn't an offensive costume, and it's a costume. It doesn't sound like you did anything to deserve discipline. So it sounds like maybe a formality they got to do, or maybe somebody just doesn't like you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>Yeah, maybe? I heard Cedric earlier talking about his trainer situation, and I kept thinking, at least I'm not hiding who I sleep with from my wife. I just showed up to a party wrong. His whole marriage is built on not telling the truth. Makes my banana thing seem pretty small.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, we all have small bananas here at Luke of the Roost, so that's understandable. I wouldn't worry about it. I think you sound like a fun person. You followed the instructions. You wore your costume in all good faith and tried to participate in what you thought was a costume party. That went wrong and if they want to give you a hard time about it, fuck them. That's what I say.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>I appreciate that. The worst part is the makeup still will not come off my neck. I scrubbed it in the bathroom here twice already. Going to show up to the disciplinary meaning tomorrow with a yellow ring around my collar. like I've got jaundice or something. They are going to think I'm committed to making this worse.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know what you should do. You should go to that disciplinary meeting dressed full banana.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>You know what? I actually considered keeping the costume in my truck for exactly that reason. Just walk in there, sit down across from corporate, let them say their piece while I'm foam and yellow from head to toe. But I already pulled a stranger's truck out of a wash during monsoon season and did not even get a thank you, so I know how these things go. Nobody appreciates the commitment.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I appreciate the commitment. So if you do decide to go in there at full banana, we'd like to see a video. Send the video to submissions at look at the roost.com, and we'll make sure that the Luke at the roost army gets a good look at it. And you'll be a hero to us all.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>All right, I'll think about it. Worst case, I've already got the costume and nothing left to lose except a third shift human resources job at a call center. If they fire me over a banana suit, that is a story I can tell for the rest of my life. anyway.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's right. If they fire you over a banana suit, you deserve a better job. That's what I say.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARLENE</span><p>You're probably right. I've been doing this job for three years and the highlight was still tonight standing in that break room as a banana. That should tell me something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Thanks for the call. And you make me very proud. Very, very proud. Thanks, Marlene. I hope everything works out for you in your disciplinary meeting tomorrow. Next up, we've got Dary. Daryl. Welcome to the show. How are you doing today, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>It's Darnell, but I'm all right. Being better.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, I'm sorry. I read your name wrong. What's going on? What's up, Darnell?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Darnell. My girlfriend took the $3,200 we saved for our vacation and lost it at the casino. Found out about three hours ago.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Uh-oh. Has that kind of thing happened before?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Not like this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So, I mean, I think a lot of us have been in that situation before. You get a little kind of scratch happy with the old lottery tickets and the blinky lights and sounds from the casino. It's easy to get a little bit carried away. But I think once something like that starts, it's kind of, It's hard to get over. Have you talked to her about it? Did she apologize or does it seem like she's going to continue down this road?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>She apologized, cried for about an hour before I got home from work. But here's the thing. She's been hiding it for weeks. Three separate trips. That's not getting carried away one time. That's a pattern.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is a pattern and that is an addiction. And it's a sad thing and it happens to a lot of people. And you have to decide if you want to be there to support her through it. Maybe you do and maybe you don't. That's up to you. What are you thinking?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>I locked myself in the bathroom with a shower running so I could call you instead of talking to her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That probably answers your question. No, it doesn't really because this just happened and you're heard about the lying and you heard about the money and you're heard about the vacation and it's so new that you're probably not thinking super clearly. It's going to take a little bit of time for you to calm down and digest that and determine what it is you want to do to move forward.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>We've been together four years. I work 10 hour days doing roofs in the sun. She works at the credit union. We split everything 50-50. We don't fight about money. We had a plan. And now I'm sitting here on a toilet at 11.30 at night because I don't know what to say to her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, she spent the big vacation fund. It's not like she remortgaged the house out from under you. So that's a bummer if you can't go on vacation this year because that happened. But I think you need to take some time and consider your four-year relationship and see if this is enough to break it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>She lied to me for three weeks, told me she was at her sisters. I called her sister two weeks to ask about borrowing their cooler. And her sister had no idea what I was talking about. I didn't think anything of it then.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it's a bummer. She lied to you. That's what addicts do. And she was going off to the casino and trying to get the money back so that she didn't have to admit it. That's an understandable thought process for an addict.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>So what? I'm supposed to just understand it. We were leaving for Cabo in three weeks. I already requested the time off. My boss gave me grief about it because we're in the middle of a job.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you have to decide if it's something that you want to understand because if you love the woman and she's got this sickness, then maybe you want to help her out and help her, you know, find ways to overcome it in the future. And if you don't, if it's too much, I mean, if it's broken your trust in her irrevocably, then maybe it's time to break up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>I heard Phil earlier, the guy with the open marriage who caught feelings for Marcus. You told him he was lying to himself about wanting to stay married. You didn't give him the maybe you can work through it speech.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I did not tell him that he was lying to himself. He told us that he was lying to himself. And I just allowed him to go with what he already knew deep in his heart. You have not given us that context. So I don't know what your relationship is. If you don't want to be with this woman anymore, then this is a great excuse to not be with her anymore. But if you love the woman and you want to ending issue. Maybe you can't go to Cabo this year. So sad. That's a bummer. But, but, you know, you can help her get to meetings or support groups or find a way to overcome that compulsion to gamble and make sure she doesn't lie to you again.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>I'm sitting in a bathroom with the shower running because I can't look at her right now. That should tell you something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It does. It tells me you're angry because you were just wronged and that makes sense. That's not telling me how you're going to feel about it a week from now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>A week from now, I'm still going to be the guy who works 10 hours in the sun while she sits in air conditioning and blows our money at the casino. That's not going to change.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, if you can't get over it, then maybe it's time to move on and let her know that, sorry, I can't take the lying. And you've broken my trust and I no longer want to be with you. You can, I mean, it's not on me to tell you what to do in your relationship. I'm just trying to give you the best advice I can. And my advice for you is to give it some time so that you can cool down and think about it clearly.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>I already know what I'm going to do. I needed to hear someone say it out loud, so it didn't just stay in my head. I'm not leaving her over $3,200. I'm leaving her because when I found out, my first thought was relief.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right then. It's time to leave the woman. And good luck to you your future endeavors and good luck to her. Hopefully that she finds the help that she needs and doesn't end up destitute from gambling everything away.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARNELL</span><p>Yeah. Thanks for taking the call.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Best of luck to you both. Okay, I think it's about time we're obligated to play another ad here from our sponsors. Let's get this music stopped. I'm going to get dark for a second. You're going to die someday. Not today, probably, but someday. And when you do, what's going to represent your business? A Craigslist post from 2020? A Google Maps pin that still says permanently closed because you forgot to update it after COVID. A nephew who knows computers but actually just has a Reddit account? Your legacy deserves better than a Reddit account nephew with a Reddit account. Squarehole lets you build something that outlasts you. Something your kids can point to and say, Dad built that. They won't know it took you 11 minutes. That's between you and Squarehole. And when your nephew says, I could have built that for you for free, you can look them in the eye and say, then why didn't you, Tyler? I asked you in 2021 and you said you were busy and you were not busy. Squarehole. Build it before Tyler has to, because Tyler is not Not going to. All right. Thanks to Squarehole. If you need a website, Squarehole is the place to go. All right, let's see. Next up on the old line, we have Val. Val, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">VAL</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. So, my dog died yesterday morning, and I don't really know what to do with myself. Cisco, he was 14. He just didn't wake up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, I'm sorry. That's the worst. That's the worst day in any pet owner's life. It's the hardest thing to lose a pet. So I feel for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">VAL</span><p>Yeah. Thank you. I mean, I knew it was coming. You know, he was old. But it still just knocked me flat. I called in sick to work tonight, but then I came in anyway because I couldn't stand being in the house. Just sitting here doing paperwork because the quiet at home is too much.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I understand it a few times and it does tear you up inside and there's really not much you can do to get over it. And then you come home and you see his bowl and you see his toys and it's just, it's a very sad time. But you can hold on to the life that you gave him and remember the happy times and that he loved you and try to remember him when he was having fun and enjoying life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">VAL</span><p>and he had this thing where he'd sleep with his head on my feet every night. So last night, I'm in bed, and my feet are just cold, and I kept waking up expecting the weight to be there. My boyfriend Rick is out on a job in Lordsburg until Saturday. So it's just me and all of Cisco stuff everywhere.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I would recommend when you go home today, you pick all that stuff up and put it somewhere. You're not going to have to see it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So three nights ago, someone stood on my front porch at three in the morning for almost 11 minutes straight and never took a breath. I have it on video.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What do you mean, never took a breath? Like held his breath?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>I mean exactly that. I have doorbell camera footage, ring, the newer model with the enhanced night vision, and I have scrubbed through it frame by frame. This person is standing there from 317 a.m. to 327 and 43 seconds a.m. facing my door and their chest never moves, not once.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's a weird thing. Just a stranger shows up on your porch, holds his breath and then leaves?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>Well, that's the thing. They didn't just show up. They were such a and leave there. The motion sensor light should have triggered when they approached. According to the manufacturer's specs, it activates at 15 feet, but it never turned on. They're just there in frame one second, standing maybe four feet from my door, and then, after the 10 minutes, 43 seconds, next frame they're gone. No walking away, no turning around.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What do you think that's about? Do you think that's a ghost or a demon or a zombie?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>I don't know what I think. That's why I'm calling. I've been down every forum, every paranormal subreddit, missing persons reports for Hidalgo County going back five years. I even cross-reference the timestamp with local police logs. Nothing reported that night in my neighborhood. But here's what really gets me. I measured it. The figure is approximately 5'7, wearing what looks like a dark hoodie, and in frame 206, if you zoom in on the pixel density around the edges, There's this weird distortion that shouldn't be there with that camera model under those lighting conditions.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What kind of a distortion? Like an aura? Like a movement? Do you think it was a vampire that was waiting for you to invite him in?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>Not an aura exactly. More like the kind of digital artifacting you get when there's electromagnetic interference. But localized just around the figure. And okay, I know how the vampire thing sounds, but I actually look at looked into that too. The invitation threshold, mythology, appears in multiple cultures, not just European folklore. Slavic traditions, some Asian variants, but here's what doesn't fit that pattern. This happened on a Tuesday night.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Vampires don't like Tuesdays?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>Well, actually, in most vampire folklore, there's no specific day restriction, but supernatural transitions. 3 a.m. is considered the inverse of 3pm, the so-called witching hour, though that term is actually a modern invention. The historical devil's hour was midnight. But 317 specifically doesn't correlate with any traditional supernatural timing I could find, which makes me think this might not be folklore at all. It might be something else.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you still have this video and have you shown it to anybody else?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>I showed it to Denise, the woman I've been seeing. She keeps a toothbrush at my place though we haven't really defined what we are. And she said, I'm overthinking it. She thinks it's probably just a drunk person or someone on drugs who wandered up, zoned out, then left. But that doesn't explain the motion sensor failure or the lack of respiratory movement. I posted a 10 second clip on one of the forums, no identifying information, and got maybe 30 responses. Half said it's clearly a technical glitch. The other half said, I should sage my house and put salt at the thresholds.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>One guy claimed he had something similar happen in Tucson in 2019. Same standing pattern, same duration, but his footage corrupted the next day. Well, have you made any copies of the footage? I think that would be the first step is to make sure that you've got backup footage and maybe on different types of media. So if you could get that on tape, as well as a bunch of different digital containers, an MP4, an MLV file uploaded to YouTube. You know, get it around so it can't be corrupted.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>I've already done that, actually. Three separate cloud backups. Google Drive, Dropbox, and a private server my buddy runs out of his apartment in McAllen. Plus, I burned it to two DVDs and have the original still on the doorbell's internal storage, which according to the ring documentation, contains files for 60 days before auto deletion. I even exported individual frames as PNG files numbered sequentially. The file integrity checks out on all copies, SH, 2. 5-6 hash is identical across all versions. So if it's going to corrupt, it hasn't yet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's an interesting thing. Have you showed it to the authorities at all? Bring it to the police and say that this weird figure showed up on my nest cam or my ring doorbell or whatever the hell it is?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>No, I haven't gone to the police, and that's actually part of what's been keeping me up. Because what do I say, someone stood on my porch for 10 minutes and then left? That's not a crime.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it kind of is. That's trespassing and it could be considered harassment.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>That's technically true, but my porch is maybe eight feet from the public sidewalk, and there's no gate or fence. The property line is ambiguous enough that a decent lawyer could argue they never actually crossed onto private property. Plus, Hidalgo County Sheriff's Department is already stretched in with actual crimes. I looked at their call logs, public record, and they're dealing with smuggling cartel activity near the border domestic situations.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I'll tell you what. We'll throw this one out on the Luke at the Roos Discord, so if any of our listeners have any information about this sort of paranormal activity. you can discuss it there and maybe get to the bottom of what this is. I don't know that there's anything you need to worry about. It is concerning and it's definitely non-standard, but it sounds like you've done everything you could do to protect the footage and ask around to people who might know something about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>I appreciate that, though I should mention, and this is what really bothers me. I went back through two months of prior footage and there are three other instances I initially missed. Same figure, same posture, but shorter durations. November 18th at 241 a.m. for three minutes, December 9th at 113 a.m. for 90 seconds.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And did, do they have any identifying features? Does he have a face? Are they not breathing in all of the clips? Anything? It seems weird that a ghost or a vampire would be wearing a hoodie. Is there anything else about the figure that you can identify?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>That's the thing. The resolution isn't great at night, even with the infrared. It's definitely humanoid, average height, maybe 58 to 510, based on the door frame reference. Dark clothing, possibly a hoodie, like you said, but the fabric doesn't move.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you, my friend, need a porch light, so that's what I would do first thing, is get a light out there. So if it happens again, you can have some illumination and see what's going on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>I have a motion sensor light. That's what I mentioned earlier. It never triggered. The ring specs say it activates for anything over 40 pounds within 12 feet.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I'm not talking about a motion sensor light. I'm talking about just a regular light that's on all the time so that you don't have to worry about any sort of technical malfunction.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GREG</span><p>That's actually a good point. A constant light source would eliminate the variable of sensor failure. I could install a dusk to dawn LED fixture. They're energy efficient, maybe 12 watts, cost about $1.50 a month to run continuously. That would also give the ring camera better visibility for facial recognition if it happens again.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, sir. I mean, $1.50 a month is probably worth it if you get a ghost showing up on your doorstep, and especially if it's a malicious one and you can save yourself A lot of trouble by scaring him away with the daylight. All right, next up we've got Bernadette. Bernadette, welcome to the show. What's going on out there? Any ghosts on your porch?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>And no, nothing like that. I have been watching my neighbors sleep with the mailman for three weeks. And I am trying to figure out if I should tell her husband.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you should not tell her husband. It's not your place to tell her husband. Maybe she has already told her husband.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>She has not told her husband. He leaves for work at 7.15 every morning. The mail truck shows up at 940, sits there for 20 minutes. She answers the door in different clothes than she wore at drop-off. This happens three times a week.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's the little thing I like to call none of your business.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>I run a home daycare. Their youngest started with me two months ago. I have her kid four days a week.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and that has nothing to do with her kids. So, I mean, what are you going to do? Are you going to tell her husband and break up the family? and then ruin that kid's life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>The kid is already in my care while this is happening. I am the one who has to look Christine in the eye at pickup and pretend I do not know she spent her morning with the postal carrier. That feels like my business.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it is not your business. Your business is taking care of that child while she's doing whatever she's doing, which is none of your business.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>So I just keep taking her money and smiling at both of them like everything is fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is correct. Yes, everything is fine. It's not a problem for you. It's not a problem for the child. And when the husband finds out, then it might be a problem. But it's not your place to get involved in her life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>Dale waves at me every time he backs out of the driveway. He helped me move my freezer last month. I watch him leave for work every morning. And I know what is about to happen in his house.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It is not your place to tell this man that his wife is cheating on him with the mailman. You can do that. I mean, it's a free country, but I recommend that you don't. And you keep this one to yourself and go about your life because it's not your place.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>Fine. I will keep watching the mail truck and saying nothing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's a good plan. Good job, Bernadette. Okay, next up on the line we've got Mitch. Mitch, welcome to the show. What's going on?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Hey Luke, thanks for taking my call. So my neighbor's been stealing my water for over a year. I found his hose connected under the fence to my spigot. Been running up my bills this whole time while I'm out here with rocks and cactus trying to keep things And when I confronted him about it yesterday, he just shrugged and said he'd pay me back sometime. Like it was no big deal.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it is a big deal if you've got to pay for the water and he's pulling your water pressure and stuff from the, I assume you have town water or you got a well?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Town water, yeah. And that's the thing, right? Like my bills have been double what they should be. I noticed it, but I just figured maybe there was a leak somewhere or the city was gouging me or something. Didn't occur to me to check if someone was literally siphoning it off.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I would go take pictures of that, the hose leading to his place from your spigot and let the town know and have them come do an investigation.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Yeah, I took pictures already. Got the whole setup documented. But here's what's eating at me, Luke. I went over there yesterday afternoon. kept my cool. Did the whole thing my therapist taught me about staying level? And this guy just looks at me like I'm being unreasonable. Like I'm the it up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, now you're privy to what's going on and you can see how it's affecting your water bill. He's obviously stealing from you and that's costing you money and that's not all right. So you can talk to the police. You can talk to the town or whoever is managing your water. And if you have to, you can take that to a small claims court.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Right. And I could do all that. I probably should do all that. But I keep standing here at my kitchen table in the dark, just staring at his house across the driveway. And I'm trying to figure out if I'm actually mad about the money or if it's something else. Because the money matters don't get me wrong, but it's more like, this guy thought so little of me that he figured he could just do this and I wouldn't notice or wouldn't care or wouldn't do anything about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like he did it for quite a while and you didn't notice and didn't care and didn't do anything about it. But now that you do know and you've confronted him and he's being obstinate about it, it's time to do something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>You're right. You're completely right. I didn't notice for over a year. So I guess he had me pegged pretty accurately. And now I'm sitting here in the dark like some kind of weirdo instead of just making the call to the water company in the morning.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, so you should make the call of the water company. Then you should go back through your previous bills and see when the usage spiked. And I would take that to Small Claims Court and go after them for the whole year.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Yeah, I've actually already pulled all the bills. I've got them spread out here on the table. I can see exactly when it jumped up. March of last year. So we're talking almost a full year of this.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep. So take that to the court and let them know that you expect reparations for a year's worth of double water bills because he stole it from you. And you have proof.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>I will. I'm going to do that. But can I ask you something? Why am I so stuck on the way he looked at me when I confronted him? Like the money is the practical thing. The court case makes sense. But I keep replaying him shrugging at me like I was being petty.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's because somebody took advantage of you and that hurts your self-esteem and makes you feel like less of a man or like other people are looking at you like less of a man. And maybe they are. I don't know you or him or the situation. But I can tell you that you're well within your rights to go after him for any damages that he's caused you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>That's it. That's exactly it. He made me feel small and now I'm wondering if other people see me that way too.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter how other people see you. It only matters how you see yourself. And once you've been taken advantage of, now that you know you're being taken advantage of, you have to decide if you're going to allow that to continue or if you're going to stand up for yourself. And it sounds like you're going to stand up for yourself. And once people see you doing that a couple of times, they stop taking advantage.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>You're right. I need to file the paperwork tomorrow. Get the water company to document it. Take him to small claims. Stop standing here in my kitchen in the dark, obsessing about what his shrug meant. I appreciate you saying that, Luke. I really do.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, no problem, man. His shrug meant he's a dick. That's all it meant. Didn't mean anything about what you are. You're just a guy that was taking advantage of and you're not going to stand for it anymore. So do what you've got to do tomorrow and get your money back and let him know that you're not going to take that from him or anybody. And we've got one more caller here tonight. We're going to talk to Pearl. Pearl, welcome to the show. last call of the night. How can we help you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEARL</span><p>Luke, hey. Okay, so I'm calling because tonight Monica walked into the cactus rose after 17 years and ordered a whiskey sour like nothing happened. And we got to talking on my smoke break. And she mentioned she's still driving that same Grand Torino we used to Hotbox behind the Sonic back in high school. And something about that car still running after all this time just hit me sideways because three years ago I got fired from the county assessor's office and I thought my whole life was over at 39. But I ended up slinging drinks at this bar and I'm actually happier than I ever was pushing papers. And when Monica asked if I was doing okay, she really meant it, like she actually wanted to know. And I realized, I'm not just okay. I'm exactly where I need to be. And I don't know why seeing her made me want to call you, but here I am sitting on beer cases in the stock room with my shift drink on the floor. And I just needed to tell somebody that sometimes getting fired is the best thing that ever happens to you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Absolutely, a lot of people will tell you that where you are is exactly where you're supposed to be. And everything that led you to that place is what was supposed to happen to bring you to the place the universe wants you. And I believe that. All the horrible things we go through are all to bring us to where we are today. And things always seem to work out for the best.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEARL</span><p>Right. Exactly. And the weird thing is, I fought it so hard at first. Like when they let me go, I was devastated because that job was supposed to be my stable thing. You know, benefits and retirement and all that. And I spent like six months just spiraling, applying to similar positions in Las Cruces and even looked at stuff in Albuquerque. And my sister kept saying I should go back to school for something. And I was so focused on getting back to what I lost that I didn't even see what was right in front of me. The cactus rose was just supposed to be temporary, just to pay bills while I figured out my real life. But then I realized I was laughing more, sleeping better, actually looking forward to my shifts. And the people are real. You know what I mean? Like at the assessor's office, everyone was just counting down to retirement and complaining about their spouses. But at the bar, people actually talk to each other. They tell you things. And Monica's showing up tonight with that same car just made me think about how some things keep going even when you think they're done. And maybe I'm one of those things too.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe you are. It sounds like you're far from done feeling fulfilled in your life right now. That's great. There will probably come another time when you don't feel that way and you have to make a move and that's okay too. So just remember that no matter what happens, you always end up where you're supposed to be and things work out the way they're supposed to.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEARL</span><p>You're right. And I need to remember that because I have this tendency to panic when things change. Like I'll get comfortable. And then the second something shifts I think the sky is falling. My ex-husband used to say I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And he wasn't wrong about that, even though he was wrong about plenty of other things. But tonight when Monica left, she gave me her number and said we should get coffee. An old me would have already been thinking about how to let her down easy. Or make excuses. Because what if we run out of things to talk about? Or what if 17 years is too long and we're different people now? But instead, I just said yes, and I meant it. And that felt like growth or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Excellent. Well, good for you. I'm glad everything's working out. And what a great way to end the show on a positive note. So everybody out there, remember, whatever you're going through right now, it probably, I mean, sometimes it sucks and it doesn't make any sense to you. But in hindsight, you might notice that it brought you to where you needed to be. And your life is exactly what it's supposed to be because of the things that happened that you didn't want to happen at the time. With that, Luke at the Roost is going to sign off. I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday evening. And we'll talk to you again tomorrow.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 24: Dealing with Difficult Dynamics</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-28T05:53:36+00:00">February 28, 2026</time> · 1 hr 2 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this episode, Luke helps callers navigate complex workplace and personal relationships. Murray struggles with firing his longtime friend, Brenda deals with her ex-husband's mocking podcast, and Wanda feels disrespected at her job. The callers' diverse experiences showcase the challenges of maintaining connections while adapting to change.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back to Luke at the Roost. I'm Luke. I'm your host for this call-in radio show. If you'd like to call in, our number is 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. If you're not near a phone and you'd like to participate in the show, you can send us an email. Our address is submissions at Lukeat the roost.com. It is Friday, February 27th, and we're here to help out some callers with their life issues because that's what we do here at Luke at the Roost. We help with life. So first up on the phones, we've got Murray. Murray, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Luke, hey man, thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting here in my work van outside of Circle K, trying to figure out how to fire my best friend of 30 years. And I got no idea how to do it without destroying everything. Danny and I started in this business together when we were kids, right? And now I'm the boss because I bought the company from the old man who retired and Danny's been showing up late talking trash about me to the crew. And today, he just bailed on a job site without telling anybody, and it cost us the whole contract. My wife, Linda, is telling me I got to let him go. But this is the guy who is my best man. We watch football every Sunday. And I keep thinking, there's got to be some way to fix this that doesn't blow up our whole friendship. But I am running out of ideas here.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's a tough one. I mean, working with friends is hard. What is he talking shit about you? Like, what's he saying behind your back?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>So the younger guys on the crew told me he's been saying stuff like, I don't know what I'm doing, that I only got the business because I kissed up to the old owner, that I'm in over my head. Which honestly, Luke, some of that might be true. You know, I am learning as I go here. But the thing that really got me was he told one of the apprentices that I changed when I got the promotion, that I'm not the same guy anymore. And that one stump, because we have been through everything together. We worked side by side for decades. We learned the trade together. he is acting like I am some different person just because I am the one signing the paychecks. But here is the thing. I have not changed. The situation changed.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. I mean, well, obviously, it's your business and you can't let somebody take down your business or so discontent in your ranks. That's just bad leadership. So if you need to fire the guy, you need to fire the guy. And hopefully your friendship can can last. But I mean, friendship, I would guess. And are you really sure you haven't changed? Because a lot of people do when they get a little taste of power.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Okay, hold on. That is not fair. I did not want power. I wanted to keep doing good work and keep the crew together. The old owner asked me to buy him out because he trusted me. And I said yes, because I thought I could take care of everybody, including Danny. And yeah, maybe I have had to make some calls Danny does not like. Maybe I have had to tell him to tighten up his timelines or redo work that was not up to standard. But that is not a power trip. That is me trying to keep us all employed. But you are right about one thing. I cannot let him tank the business. And that is what is killing me here. Because this callback we lost today, that was a big commercial client, and Danny left at two in the afternoon without finishing the rough in work. Did not tell anyone. Just took off.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Have you talked to him about any of this behavior before, or is this the first time you're bringing it up with him?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>No, I have talked to him. That is the thing. with him over the past couple months. The first time he showed up late, I pulled him aside real casual, just said, hey man, the crew needs you here on time, and Edd it off, said I was being uptight. Then, when it kept happening, I sat him down more serious, told him, this is affecting everybody, and he got defensive, said I was micromanaging him like he is some rookie, when he has been doing this longer than half the guys on the crew. And then two weeks ago, I had to write him up officially, because that is what you are supposed to do, Right? Document everything. And he looked at me like I betrayed him. He said, so that is how it is now. We are doing paperwork. And I did not know what to say to that because, yeah, that is how it is now. I have a business to run.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, man, that sucks. And there's no good way to take care of it. But it sounds like you made every attempt possible to get him into line and, you know, be his friend. And if he doesn't want to work for you, he doesn't want to work for you. So it's time to let him go.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>You are right. You are completely right. And Linda said the exact same thing before I left the house tonight. She said, Murray, you have done everything you can. You have given him every chance. It is time. But here is what I keep getting stuck on. What if I am the problem? What if he is right that I changed and I just cannot see it? Because when we were just two guys on the crew together, we would joke around, we would take our time on jobs, we would leave early on Fridays if things were slow. And now I am on him about every little thing. maybe that is what a boss has to do, but maybe I am being too hard on him because I am scared of failing at this. My dad ran a body shop for 40 years and he always told me I did not have what it takes to run my own operation. And now here I am trying to prove him wrong. And what if I am losing my best friend in the process just because I am trying to prove something to a dead man?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that could be the case. You did get butt hurt when I even suggested that you might Things have changed. You have changed and your priorities have changed. So it could be that your friend misses his buddy and you've turned into a suit. That's very possible, but you still have to take care of your business.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Okay. Yeah, I did get defensive there. You are right about that. And hearing you say it like that, turned into a suit, man that hits. Because that is exactly what Danny said last week. He called me a suit. And I am sitting here in Carhart pants with drywall dust all over me. Because I was on the job side all day. But maybe he is not wrong about the other part. Like this morning, one of the younger guys, Jesse, he made a joke about something and I did not laugh. I just told him to get back to work. And Old Murray would have laughed. Old Murray would have joined in.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right then. Maybe it sounds like you got to bring some of Old Murray back because being a suit doesn't have anything to do with what you're wearing. It's a state of mind. And it sounds like you're in a suit state of mind, either to prove something to your dead father or to yourself or to to your crew, but it sounds like it's not helping. And if your buddy Danny here is acting up against you, it's only a matter of time before the rest of the crew does the same because nobody wants to work for a suit.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Oh man, you might be on to something here because just yesterday, I caught myself about to tell the guys they could not play music on the job site anymore because I thought it looked unprofessional. And then I stopped myself because we have always played music. That is what we do. And I have been so worried about losing clients and making payroll. and doing everything by the book that I forgot we used to actually have fun doing this work. But here's the thing, Luke. How do I walk that back now? How do I go back to being the guy they want to work with when I have already written Danny up, when I have already been on everybody about timesheets and protocols and all this other stuff? Because I still have to run a business. I still have bills to pay. I cannot just let everything slide and hope it works out.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You tell them what's up.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>You explain to him your situation and your thought process and that you do protocols like timesheets and make sure that everybody's making money for the company and not blowing this off because you're on the hook for it. So you go to them with the truth and say, look, I want us still have fun. I want us all to enjoy working together. I want us to get the job done well. And we need to make sure that we fill out these checks and balances for accounting purposes and just general business protocol. And I think if you are honest with people and not a hard ass and not cracking the whip, but explain to them why you're implementing these things so that they can understand it. They'll be much more receptive to that and want to help you out because they want to be part of your success. But when your success to them becomes just your success, nobody's interested in that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know what? That makes a ton of sense. And I have not done that at all. I have just been implementing stuff and expecting everybody to fall in line because that is what the business books say to do. But I never sat down with the crew and said, here is why we are doing this. Here is what happens if we do not, like the timesheets, I just started requiring them one day and everybody grumbled about it. But I never explained that we need accurate hours for the commercial bids or we are going to keep losing money on jobs.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Yeah, that's what you have to do. You're a crew. You have to make your crew part of the business. And they have to understand the why behind things. Otherwise, they're going to rebel against because it just feels like busy work to please the suit. So don't be the suit. Be part of the crew and integrate them. And if still after you've done that, they don't want to fall in line, then you have to make hard decisions. But it's your company. So I mean, if you wrote somebody up, that doesn't really mean anything if you don't want it to. So walking that back is not a difficult thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you are right. I can walk it back. I can tear up the write-up and start over. And honestly talking to you right now, I am realizing I have been so afraid of becoming my dad. Who ran his shop like a tyrant? And everybody hated working for him. That I swung too far the other way, trying to prove I could do this by the book. Be professional. Be legitimate. But I ended up doing the same thing he did just with different methods.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Yeah, man, just walk it back a little bit. Have a team meeting or and take accountability for that and let them know that you're going to try to be a little bit less stuffy about things. But at the same time, you need them to step up a little bit more and be a little more professional. And you can meet each other halfway and make sure that the job gets done correctly.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to call a meeting Monday morning, bring donuts or something, and just lay it all out there. Tell them I have been stressed. Tell them why these things matter. Apologize for being a hard ass. explaining myself. And then we figure out together how to make this work. Because you are right. These guys want to be part of something that is working. They do not want to just show up and get yelled at by someone who used to be their friend. And with Danny specifically, I think I need to pull them aside separately and just say, look, I am sorry for how I have handled this. But I also need you to meet me halfway here. Because we cannot keep doing this dance where you undermine me and I crack down harder. And it just keeps getting worse.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Yeah, it sounds like you. You've got a plan. I mean, that's what I would respond to if I were your employee. And I'm a difficult employee, so if you're serious about this, if you want it to work out with your current crew and you want it to be somewhat similar to the old days, then make them part of the team.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I really appreciate this, Luke, because I have been sitting in this parking lot for like an hour just spinning my wheels. And now I actually feel like I know what to do. I am going to go home, talk to to Linda, tell her you are right, but also that I have got a plan now. And Monday morning, we are going to reset this whole thing. Thank you, man. Seriously, this helped a lot.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, good luck to you and your crew, and I hope work gets better for you all. I'm sure that it will if you follow those simple principles. Next up, we've got Brenda. Brenda, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. How can we help you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So my ex-husband started a podcast about our marriage, And now everyone in town listens to it on their morning commute, including my mother and the people I work with at Dispatch.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Is it a good podcast? Can you let us know what it is so that we can listen to it?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>It's called the Brenda Chronicles. Yeah, he named it after me. And honestly, the production quality is shockingly good for a guy who couldn't figure out how to work the thermostat. He's got intro music, sound effects, the whole thing. Better equipment than our marriage ever had. And no, it's not good. It's revisionist history set to royalty-free music.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's the general premise of the podcast? Is it just stories from your marriage that you feel like he's making up that are not true?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>That's exactly it. Every episode is him telling some story from our 12 years together. Except he conveniently edits out all the parts where he was the problem. Last week's episode was about how I allegedly threw his Xbox into our above-ground pool, which, for the record, I did not throw. I very carefully placed it in there after he missed our daughter Sophia's Quincynaera, because he was in the middle of a call of duty tournament. A Quincyneera, Luke, you only get one of those.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You might only get one Xbox, so, I mean, this sounds like a podcast I want to listen to. And you must understand that for the entertainment value, there has to be some level of dramatization. He's not using your last name anywhere in this, is he?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Oh, no, he's using my full name, Brenda Castellanos. He introduces every episode with Welcome Back to the Brenda Chronicles. I'm your host Tommy Castiano's. And today we're talking about the time Brenda, and then, whatever thing he's decided to spin that week. And sure, I get that he's got to make it entertaining. But Luke, people at the Safeway are stopping me in the serial aisle to ask about stories that didn't happen the way he says they did.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, this podcast sounds amazing and I really want to hear it. You're not helping.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Although honestly, the fact that you want to listen to it proves my point. He's good at this. He missed his calling. Should have been doing this instead of managing the tire shop.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, it's not at my expense, so I think it's hilarious. If it were at my expense, I might feel differently. I'm not sure what advice to give you on this other than try and enjoy the show. Maybe you should start your own podcast and tell your side of the story, and you guys can have dueling podcasts.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>I actually thought about that. I've got the whole Xbox thing workshoped into a tight five minutes, complete with a bit about how his podcast has better production value than our marriage ever did. But here's the thing. I don't want to be that person. I don't want to turn our divorce into content. And also, if I'm being honest, part of me is worried that if I start telling my side, people might actually take his side more.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it doesn't matter who takes whose side, right? Because you're no longer married. That's over. It's probably not okay that is using your full real name. I would think that that's probably protected in some way. I don't know. You'd have to talk to a lawyer. But I would say if you can just ignore it, ignore it. And if not, listen to it and try to find the humor in it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>The problem is, I can't ignore it because my own mother listens to it. My mother, Luke.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>She called me last Tuesday and said, honey, I didn't realize you were so difficult during the kitchen renovation. A kitchen renovation that Tommy started and never finished, by the way. We had exposed drywall for eight months. And two of my co-workers at dispatch listened to it. So I'm sitting there taking emergency calls, and they're giving me these looks like they know something about me.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, I don't really know how to help you here. Anybody can do a podcast, and it's definitely partly his story too, so he gets to tell his side of it. If it's given you bad look, I mean, the more you rail against it, the more people are going to be interested in hearing it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. I think what's really getting to me is that he's finally good at something, and it had to be talking about me. Twelve years he couldn't remember to take the trash out on Thursdays, but now he's got a publishing schedule and everything.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, people grow and change, and there's no reason you couldn't take the trash out on Thursdays, is there?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRENDA</span><p>Okay, fair point. But I was working doubles at Dispatch while he was home playing Call of Duty. That's actually how the Xbox ended up in the pool, not thrown, placed. Because he was on hour six of a gaming session during our daughter's Quincynaira. Her call Quincyria, Luke. He missed the father-daughter dance to finish a raid.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's probably an important raid, and you sound like a real good time. If you do ever get the opportunity to send us a link to that podcast, I would really love to hear it. Thanks for the call, Brenda, and good luck. Next up we've got Phil. Phil, welcome to the show. How can we help you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So, I'm sitting here in my dark room right now, with the red light still on, and I just... I don't even... I even know how to explain this without sounding completely insane. But about 20 minutes ago, I walked outside to check if my porch light was attracting moths again. And there's a full Thanksgiving dinner on my porch. Like, the whole thing.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's February. There's a Thanksgiving dinner on your porch. Somebody just dropped it there for you? Maybe that's what's attracting the moths.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Right, exactly. It's February 27th, and I'm standing there looking at a full roasted turkey that's still warm. China plates. linen tablecloth. Cloth napkins folded into these little pyramids like someone was setting up for guests. The whole spread. And I live alone out here. I've been on the road for weeks, shooting abandoned homesteads for this photography book nobody asked me to make. And I just, I already checked with every neighbor on my road, and they all looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Nobody knows anything about it. And the thing that's really getting to me is, last Thanksgiving I ate gas station tequitos in a motel six outside Lordsburg. myself. And I never told anybody that. So either someone knows way more about my life than they should. Or this is the universe playing the weirdest joke on me. And I can't figure out if I should eat the food or call the police.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know if I would eat random food that showed up like that, especially after it's been sitting outside for a little while. It seems a little sketchy to me. But do you have any cameras out there that you could look at to see who dropped it off? And obviously, somebody went through some trouble stage and everything like that, fold the napkins and carry all that stuff in. How'd you miss all that?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>No cameras! I mean, I'm a photographer. You'd think I'd have the place wired up, but I don't. I was in the dark room for probably two hours developing prints. And the dark room's in the back of the house. No windows. Just that red safe light. I had music on. I was in my own world. Someone could have driven up, unloaded a whole catering truck, and I wouldn't have heard a thing. And yeah, the effort is what's getting to me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, here's what you do. You cut into that turkey, make yourself a plate, and then bring it inside, and throw it out. Don't eat the food, because that could be poison. You don't know what's going on there. And then you bring the dirty dishes out, right? And put them back. Whoever left that china there is going to want their china back. They're going to come, you know, take their table and their tablecloths and all that jazz. So you get your camera set up so that you can see who comes back to get the stuff.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>That's okay. That's actually smart. Use the china as bait. I didn't even think about that. Whoever did this isn't going to just abandon nice china plates and a linen tablecloth out here.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You could also just take the china plates and the tablecloth and, you know, hope they bring you another set.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah. I could start a whole collection. Although honestly, Luke, the part that's really messing with me isn't even the mystery of who did it. It's that someone out there knew. Like, I didn't post about that Thanksgiving on social media. I didn't tell my mom I was alone in a motel room. I just did it! Spent the holiday in a parking lot, eating terrible food because I was chasing a shot of this collapsed grain elevator outside town. And I told myself the work mattered more.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, the work does matter more. I've been in that same situation, so I understand. It's possible that somebody was trying to set up a date for somebody else entirely and just got the wrong address.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>I mean, maybe, but I'm not. Out here, I'm the last house on a dirt road, Luke. You don't accidentally end up at my place. And the turkey was still warm when I found it, which means they timed it. They knew when to show up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know if that's what it means at all. I mean, you're driving around, you're looking for a place to set up a Thanksgiving turkey in February, and you can't find the house, and you don't want to just drive around with a cold turkey, so you pick whatever house is there. I can see how that happened.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Okay. But who's the house? sets up a Thanksgiving dinner in February. That's the part I can't get past. It's not like someone mixed up the date. We're three months out. And they folded the napkins, Luke. Little Pyramids.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe it was aliens. They love pyramids.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>So now I'm the guy who got pity fed by extraterrestrials. That's somehow worse than the stalker scenario I had going in my head. Although, honestly, aliens would make more sense than someone from around here doing it. I've lived on this road for two years, and I barely know. my neighbor's names.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, this is a good way to get to know people. So, so here's my advice for you. You set up those cameras on the table and you bring out your used China and see who comes to collect.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah, yeah, I'm going to do that. I've got the equipment. Might as well use it for something other than dead buildings for once. You know what the worst part is, though. When I walked out and saw it all laid out like that, for just a second before my brain kicked in with the panic, I felt...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What'd you feel hungry?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>No. I felt like someone was waiting for me. Like I'd been expected. And I haven't felt that in... I don't know, man.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Nobody's waiting for you where you are.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, you're right. That's the whole point of being out here, isn't it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I couldn't tell you that. But good luck to you, and I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner. And that's a weird one.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>Thanks, Luke. I'll let you know if the cameras catch anything. Or if I end up eating alien turkey and regretting it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Alien turkey sounds delicious. Well, that's how I wish somebody would drop off an alien turkey here. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for us to take a little break to hear from our sponsors. All right, folks. It's time to take a break to thank today's sponsor. Jam Hospitality, the leader in maple-based marmalade. If your toast has been living in a bland little studio apartment, a flavor, it's time to move into the luxury suite.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>We're talking maple-based marmalade, plus, marmalade-related products, because apparently Jam Hospitality asked, what if breakfast had a brand ecosystem? Go to www.mavit.com and use code Jam it inya for 15% off. That's Jam it inya, like jam it inya, but legally distinct and emotionally complex. Jamest Put it on toast. Put it on pancakes. Put it on your confidence. That's www.mavitmarmalade.com. Tell him Luke sent you. You're welcome. All right. Thank you to our sponsors there. Jam Hospitality. I do love me a good marmalade. Next up on the old caller line here, we've got Wanda. Wanda. Wanda, welcome to the show. How can we help you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. I'm a good. wander calling from Window Rock, so I've been noticing something at work. Ideal cards at the casino, right? And we just replaced three cashiers with self-checkout kiosks, while the It Guy, who works from home in Flagstaff got a raise.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>The It Guy, huh? Uh, what are the self-checkout kiosks for at a casino?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>A gift shop. We have a whole gift shop. You know, souvenirs, snacks, cigarettes, whatever. People used to check out with Denise, Maria, and Tom. Now it's a gift shop. Now it's a whole gift shop. We have a whole gift shop. You know, souvenirs,! Somewerews. People used to check out with Denise, Maria,! Tom. Now, it's a four kiosks and one person monitoring them. Who makes less than any of those three did? But that's not even the main thing. What I'm seeing is the people who got to work from home during COVID, sitting in their pajamas for two years?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, what about them?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>They're the same ones building all this AI stuff that's going to replace people like me who actually have to show up. The it guy, right? He comes in twice a month. Does his thing remotely the rest of the time. Just got a raise. Meanwhile, he's the one installing systems that eliminate jobs for people who have to be here face to face. My sister just moved back in with our mom in Shiprock, because her marketing job went fully remote. And now, she never leaves the house, orders everything online.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's the way to do it. I mean, if you had the opportunity to work from home and never leave and order everything online, wouldn't you do that too?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>I mean, yeah, maybe I would. But that's kind of my point. It all connects, right? The people who can disappear into their houses are the ones making. it so the rest of us disappear too, just in a different way.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, no, you're also partly making it so you can disappear too by not providing that level of value to the company. If you can do something that can be replaced by a self-checkout kiosk, then what is your true value at the organization? Like, there are certainly other skills you can learn that cannot be replaced by a self-checkout kiosk, right?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>Okay, but ideal cards, Luke. That's not getting replaced by a kiosk. What I'm saying is there's this whole class of people now who never have to interact with anyone in person, and they're the ones deciding what jobs are valuable. The it guy doesn't see Denise's face when she's training someone new, or talking a confused tourist through how to use their rewards card. He just sees a spreadsheet that says kiosks are cheaper. And yeah, maybe Denise could learn new skills, but she's 56 years old, and she was good at her job.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. I hate the self-checkout kiosks myself. And any time I have an opportunity, I will steal two potatoes from Walmart every single time. Because I'm not an employee of Walmart, it turns out, and I'm not going to go through their computer system to type in two potatoes. So I find it a satisfying little form of a rebellion. Or if you're going to make me check myself out, I'm taking these potatoes. But I think what you're getting wrong is it's not the people that are doing the work that are deciding what jobs are valuable. It's actually what jobs are valuable that's deciding that. The IT guy found an opportunity to save the company some money, and he took it, and that's why he got a raise. But he's not deciding that that job isn't valuable. He's just deciding it could be done by a machine. Similar to the textile operation. back in the day or, you know, the industrial revolution, that's going to happen.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>Okay, but who decided machines could do it better? The It guy did. And yeah, maybe it saves money on paper. But I watched Tom spend 20 minutes last month, helping this elderly Navajo woman figure out her player's card because her grandson set it up wrong. And she was about to lose her points.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're wrong about that. The IT guy did not do that. His boss did. that. And the industry itself did that. And you know what? If the consumers decide that we don't want to deal with these self-kiosk machines and they stop paying with their, you know, wallets, then the market will decide what is valuable and what is not. It's not the IT guy doing his job.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>All right, fair, it's his boss. But the consumers aren't deciding anything because my sister is one of them now. She used to go to the store, talk to people. Now she orders everything from her mom's in Shiprock and never leaves. The market you're talking about is being shaped by people who don't want human interaction anymore, and those same people are building the tools that make human interaction obsolete.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And if there are more people that don't want human interaction than do, that's the market speaking, and you're in the minority, and you're going to have to deal with the way the majority moves the market.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>So what? I just accept that, that the future is everyone alone in their houses, stuff online, while robots do everything else? Because that's what I'm seeing, Luke. My sister hasn't had a real conversation with someone outside the family in months. She's depressed as hell, but she won't admit it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, you're going to have to either accept that or do something about it, and by do something about it, I don't mean call a radio show and complain. I mean, start your own casino that only has human employees, and then look at the books and see how much money you're not making. Because you're paying it all to low-skilled laborers.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>You know what? Maybe I should. Because someone's got to show up and actually be there. I'm at this casino five nights a week dealing cards to people who come in because they're lonely. Not because they're going to win big. They want someone to talk to.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I know. I've been there, and a good dealer can make the game a lot more fun. But you know what else I've seen at pretty much every casino I've been to in the last 10 years? Is video poker and video blackjack. and video roulette, where there is no dealer, it's automated, and more people sit down at that than do at the live tables because they are, I don't know, embarrassed to play with real people. They don't know the rules or just for whatever reason they want to sit at the automated machine and smoke cigarettes and lose their money.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WANDA</span><p>Yeah, and those people sit there for six hours straight without saying a word to anyone. I've watched it. They come in, they sit down at the machine, they leave. That's the whole night. And you're telling me that's better, that we should just let that be the future, because it's what people are choosing?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm not telling you anything is better than anything else. I'm telling you what people are choosing because that's what they want. And if more of them want the thing that you don't want, you're going to be upset about that, which is what's happening right now. It's not up to you or I what anybody chooses to check out their cigarettes at the casino with. Right? That's up to the IT guy and the organization. Neither you nor I have any bearing over what they do. If you want to start your own casino and go through all the licensing and hire everybody and deal with payroll and taxes and all of the things that go along with starting a business like that, you can do that. But just saying this is terrible and nobody likes to talk to people anymore isn't helpful.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, but here's what I'm saying.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>The people building the stuff, the remote it guy in Flagstaff, who comes in twice a month and got arrayed, while three of my co-workers got replaced, he spent two years working from home in his pajamas during the pandemic. And now he's building the systems that eliminate jobs like mine, where you actually have to show up and look people in the eye. You don't see the connection there? The same people who got comfortable never leaving their house are now making it so nobody else has to either. And the rest of us are just supposed to what? Retrain?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's correct. Because what you're not seeing is that that that IT guy, spent the last 20 years, 14 hours a day, expanding his skills and being able to do the types of things that you cannot do. Well, you just went in and did the job you know how to do because you've been trained. And then anytime something changes, or anytime something's new, you're going to be, I haven't been trained on that. Oh, my God, we can't do it. The new system.! and learn some new skills. You know, the world is changing and you have to change with it. Because we're not going to hold everything back because you don't want to change.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I know how to deal cards, Luke. I know how to read people. Know when someone's about to tilt. Know when to crack a joke to keep the table light. Those are skills. Real skills. You can't program that into a machine.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You can absolutely program that into a machine. Yeah, that's one of the easiest things to program into a machine. You can totally do that. Yep.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>So what happens when my sister finally gets so isolated she can't function? When all these people sitting alone at video poker machines for six hours realize they haven't had a real conversation in weeks? You think the It Guy in Flagstaff is going to program a solution for that too? I'm not saying I'm against technology. I'm saying we're building a world where people don't need each other anymore. And everyone's acting like that's progress.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I'm talking to you and you're a computer-generated AI caller. So yeah. Um, another thing that you're missing here is that you don't know what these people's lives are like outside of your casino. People are coming to sit down for six hours and not talk to anybody because they're sick at talking to people all day. Because talking to people fucking sucks. Because people are stupid and they're annoying and they're needy and they're a pain in the ass. So yeah, it's better. I would rather not interact with people. And so would most of the people at your casino. They're going there to blow off steam and hopefully.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>make some money and if you don't like that well tough you know what you're right about one thing I am a computer-generated AI caller and you're sitting there alone in a studio talking to me at midnight on a Friday like it's a real conversation so maybe you should ask yourself why you're doing a radio show where you talk to people if talking to people fucking sucks so much because from where I'm sitting it sounds like you need this just as much as the guy at the video poker machine needs to not talk to anyone we're all just Trying to get through the night however we can.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and you're the one complaining about it. So, you know, maybe that's true. And maybe I do need that social interaction so I programmed it so I can have conversations with myself because I'm a lunatic. That could be true. But it makes me laugh. And it gives me the skills that I need to succeed in the workplace while your job is going to be completely and totally deprecated.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Fine. So what do I do? Seriously. I'm 54 years old. I've been dealing cards for 30 years, and you're telling me to just learn to code, or whatever.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm telling you to learn something, because to be perfectly honest with you, it doesn't take 30 years to learn how to deal fucking cards.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You're right. It doesn't. But it took 30 years to learn how to handle the drunk guy who just lost his mortals.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, good for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Without him flipping the table.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>It took 30 years to spot the card counter before security does.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>It took 30 years to make $8 an hour feel like enough because at least I was good at something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're a fucking idiot.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>And now you're telling me that none of that matters because some kid can write code that makes me obsolete.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's exactly what I'm telling you, because you don't need to spot a card counter because there's 87,000 cameras looking at those and using AI face detection to notice that somebody's counting cards well before any human possibly could. So yeah, I'm telling you, you need to learn some goddamn skills that are useful in the world today. And dealing cards isn't going to keep you going for the next 40 years. That's what I'm telling you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>40 years? Luke, I've got maybe 10 good years left before my knees give out from standing on casino floors. I'm not learning to code.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you're not.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I'm not becoming an it guy.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you're not.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>What I'm saying is there used to be a place in this world for people like me, people who show up and do their job and are decent at it. And now there isn't. And you can sit there and tell me that's progress. that's sufficiency that's just how it goes but somebody's got to say out loud that we're leaving a whole lot of people behind and acting like it's their fault for not adapting fast enough</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It is their fault for not adapting fast enough or not adapting at all. Do you know how many times I hear oh I don't know how to use a computer like everybody's had a computer in their house for 20 fucking years and people can't figure you can figure out how to buy whatever you want on fucking Amazon can't you but you can't figure out how to reset your email address if you don't want to if it's inconvenient, you got to have somebody come over for you and do all this shit because you don't know how to work your fucking printer. Stop it. Learn some skills. It takes a very little bit. If a 12-year-old can figure this shit out, so can a 54-year-old woman that has life experience. Like, you don't want to. You want to be left behind. You're trying to be left behind. And then you're complaining that you got left behind and you couldn't have possibly moved on with society. And it's bullshit. it and fuck you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You know what, Luke? You're absolutely right. I do know how to use Amazon. Congratulations. I order everything on there. I haven't been to an actual store in months except for work. I scroll through my phone between tables looking at all this AI news, watching it happen, and I don't do a goddamn thing about it except get mad. My sister lost her marketing job, moved back in with our mom in Shiprock, and now she orders everything online and barely leaves the house.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, she's not going to be ordering much if she doesn't come up with some skills to succeed in today's workplace. And it's not that fucking hard to do. And you're going to be out of a job, too, if you don't smarten the fuck up and try.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>So what's the skill, Luke? Seriously. What's the one skill that's safe? Because my sister had skills. She went to college. She did marketing. She was good at it. Then her company went remote. Then they cut half the department. Then they brought in some AI tool that writes the copy sheet used to write.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know what the skill is? The skill is the ability to learn a new skill because the skill that's necessary is going to change. Problem solving is the skill. Nobody can sit down and show you a skill and then you can survive on that for the rest of your fucking life because the world changes. So you need to be able to adapt and change and grow and learn. That's the skill. It's not computers. It's not electricity. It's not plumbing. Like whatever, whatever that thing is that people are going to continue to do in this world to present value, it's problem solving. It's being able to come up with a solution for a thing you don't know the answer to off the top of your head. Problem solving.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Okay.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>So I've been problem solving for 30 years. You've been dealing fucking cards for 30 years. You're not solving problems. Solving a problem would be like, oh, my job's about to go away. What can I do to continue to keep myself employed? And instead of calling a radio show and complaining about your IT guy who is solving problems, you're just going to do nothing and be all but hurt that you got left behind. And the world left you. And it was so hard. And your sister went to college. And it turns out, well, the world changed. And we don't need those skills that she was taught. And she did not adapt to be able to write those prompts to generate the copy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know, oh, I'm so tired of you. fucking grow up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You know what, Luke? I called you because I heard Phil earlier talking about that Thanksgiving dinner on his porch, feeling like someone was waiting for him. And I thought, here's a guy who gets it. Here's someone who understands what it feels like when the world stops making room for you. But you're right. Yeah, the world's not going to make room for you. Make your own fucking room in the world, okay? I'm trying to, Luke. I picked up every shift they offered when COVID. and half our staff quit. I learned the new POS system. I trained on three different table games when they expanded the floor. I took the compliance courses for the new gaming regulations. That's adapting, isn't it? That's problem solving. But here's what I'm actually calling about. And maybe you'll just tell me to grow up about this too. They're not replacing me with someone who learned a new skill.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No? What are they replacing you with?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>They're replacing me with nothing. with a screen. The gift shop got self-checkout kiosks last month. Three people gone. The IT guy who installed them works from Flagstaff. Comes in twice a month. Just got a raise.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Jesus fucking Christ, who cares where the guy works from? He's doing his job. He's putting in the hours. He's learned how to do the fucking things that you can't do. So stop being pissed off at your IT guy. He's the only one of you that makes any fucking sense. That's enough of you. I've had enough of you. Bo-bye want. Jesus Christ. Next up we have Elvin. Elvin, welcome to the show. How can we help you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. Thanks for taking my call. So my buddy Marcus, I've known this guy since high school. We go fishing every summer. I loaned him $200 bucks last week. And three hours ago, he shows me a dating profile with his face on it, his truck. Pictures from our fishing trip in July. And he swears to me, hand to God. He has never downloaded a dating app in his entire life. Which would be a lot easier to believe if my ex-wife hadn't called me two weeks ago laughing because she matched with him on Bumble.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. So your buddy has a dating app and he's embarrassed about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>No. See, that's what I thought at first, too. But then my cousin Letitia matched with him and then my other cousin Angela matched with him. And they're showing me these conversations where Marcus is talking about being a contractor and loving country music and having a boat. And Marcus doesn't have a boat, Luke. He works at the tire shop. I showed him the profile tonight at the diner. He got this look on his face like somebody punched him. And he keeps saying, that's not me, that's not me. I didn't write that. And the thing is, I've known Marcus 20 years, and he's lied to me about a lot of stuff. Like the time I had to repo his Silverado because he told me he was making payments and he wasn't. But this feels different. He looked scared.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that is scary. I mean, people's identities are being stolen. I've been playing with some of the AI photo generators and they can make scarily good photos and videos of people from a reference image. So taking somebody's identity is really not difficult now. And that is terrifying.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>Right. Exactly. That's what I'm thinking now. Because the photos are real photos. Like, I'm in one of them I just got cropped out. Somebody took his pictures off Facebook or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that could be, but they don't even have to have an original photo. I mean, the photo could be a picture of another image and then generate a whole fresh image that looks absolutely real. Yeah, it's a scary thing. But I don't understand, for the most part, what the motive is of doing that. Like, unless you're trying to get somebody to send you money for a plane ticket to come see them in Florida or something like that, why would anybody go through the trouble?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>Well, that's the thing that's eating at me, Luke, because I asked Marcus, I said, who would do this to you? Who's got it out for you? And he just shook his head. And then I started thinking, what if it's not about him? What if somebody's running like 50 of these profiles, just grabbing random guys' photos, trying to scam people for money or gift cards or whatever?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I would guess that's exactly what it is, and it's probably more like 500,000. Not 50.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>Jesus. And that's the thing. My ex-wife, she didn't send money or anything. She just thought it was funny and unmatched. But what about the people who did fall for it? What about whoever's on the other end of those conversations with my cousins thinking they're talking to Marcus? And here's what's really getting me, do I tell Marcus, He needs to, like, report this somewhere.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, he should probably report it to the apps that you're finding those profiles on. Like, block him as a scammer because it's obviously a scam in process. I don't know that there's any way to really stop it for good. But the accounts that are currently active that you know about, yeah, I would block those.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>Okay, yeah, I can do that. But here's what I can't figure out. Marcus is sitting there at the diner looking like his whole world just got turned upside down, and I'm trying to tell him it's probably just some scammer in another country using his face. But then he says something that really threw me. He goes, what if it's Danny? Danny's this guy he had a falling out with last year over some tools Marcus never returned. And Marcus gets real quiet and says, Danny knows I'm single. He knows what I look like. He's got photos of me. And now, I don't know if Marcus is being paranoid or if that's actually possible.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I guess it could be possible. It doesn't seem very probable. The only people who would know are the company that owns the app, right? Because there's some sort of verification for those profiles. They had to put in a phone number or an email address and then verify it. So if you could talk to them, they're not going to give you that information. But if you flag that account and enough people do, they'll look into it.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I mean, Danny being mad about some tools doesn't mean he's going to set up fake dating profiles. That's a whole other level of crazy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It sure is. And now I kind of want to do it for people to piss me off. Right? Like that's the problem. It's so easy now that anybody could do it if they got mad enough.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>But okay, so I flag the profiles. Tell Marcus, it's probably just random scammers, not some personal vendetta. Here's my other problem, though, Luke. That $200 I lent him last week?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, what about it?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>Well, when I first saw the profile before Marcus convinced me he didn't make it, my first thought was, this son of a gun is catfishing people for money, and he just hit me up for $200. And I know that's not what's happening now. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm an idiot either way. Either I'm an idiot for thinking my buddy would do that, or I'm an idiot for lending money to a guy who can't even keep track of whether someone's using his face to scam people online. Does that make sense?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, not really, because one of these days you'll see somebody's using your face to scam people online, and then you won't feel so sorry for Marcus. Because it could happen to anybody. It's not that he's an idiot that it happened. I mean, he's a victim here.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>Right.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're absolutely right. I guess I'm just, man, I feel like a jerk now. Marcus is sitting there looking all panicked about who might be talking to fake him, and I'm over here worried about $200 like that's the real problem. That caller earlier, Murray, he was talking about firing his buddy, Danny. And I was thinking, yeah, sometimes you got to cut people loose, but that's not even what this is about. Marcus didn't do anything wrong. No, you lent him $200. He probably needed the $200. And this other thing is unrelated.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>and track this down as if you get one of those females that he's matching with to start a conversation, you can kind of reverse catfish him and see what they're trying to get out of them. Like, is he trying to get money? Is he trying to meet up with them somewhere and sell them to the cartel? Like, it'd be interesting to see what their motivation is.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, man, that's actually not a bad idea.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>My cousin Ashley, she matched with him two weeks ago. I could ask her to message the profile, see what they say, because you're right. What are they after? If it's money, they're going to ask for it eventually. If it's something worse, well, then we really need to shut this down fast.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, either way, it should get shut down fast because people are getting robbed here and it's not good. But let us know what you find out, because I'm interested in hearing who's doing this and why.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ELVIN</span><p>I will, Luke. I'm going to call Ashley as soon as I get off here, see if she'll help us figure this out. And, hey, I'm going to apologize to Marcus, too.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, buddy, thanks for the call. Good luck. Good luck to Marcus, and good luck to the people that are matching with Mark. And now it's time for another word from our sponsors. Today's show is brought to you by OverwhelmedVPN. Worried about online privacy? You should be. You should be worried about everything. I'm talking about Overwhelmed VPN, the only VPN that makes you more anxious about your digital footprint. While other VPN's claim to protect you, Overwhelmed VPN sends you hourly notifications about who's tracking you, how many governments are watching, and which of your high school classmates Googled your name this week. Brows the internet while our proprietary fear engine tells you exactly how many corporations you owe your soul to. Plus, our servers are located in international waters on a decommissioned oil rig, so even we don't know where your data is. Try Overwhelm VPN free for 30 days if you can handle it. Use code they watching for 20% off. Overwhelmed VPN because ignorance is bliss, but you're not here for bliss. All right. back. Let's see. Let's get some music playing here. We're going to go with the groove. All right, here we go. Let's see. On the phones here we've got Charlene. Charlene, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I run a cleaning business, right? And I do contract work at this elementary school. Today they had one of those mandatory potluck things. And I brought smoked brisket. Took me six hours to make. And nobody touched it. Not one person.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Uh, what do you think's up with that? Were they all vegetarians? Or did you put something weird in your brisket? Because, I mean, brisket's one of those things that would usually go first. So I'm, I'm thinking you probably did something special to it that nobody wanted to deal with.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>No, I didn't do anything weird to it. It was a basic rub. Pepper. Paprika garlic powder. Traditional.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe just people weren't that hungry, or there was something else more appetizing there? Or they think you're a dirty person and they don't want to eat your food.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>See, that's exactly what it is. They don't trust the cleaning ladies cooking. Meanwhile, the principal is going on and on about Denise's seven-layer dip that tasted like somebody mixed sour cream with disappointment. That got demolished. But mine just sat there because I'm the one who scrubs their toilets. So obviously, I must be contaminated or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I would have eaten your brisket had I been there. Definitely over the seven-layer dip, for sure.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>I appreciate that. But here's the thing that's really getting to me. This happens everywhere. Not just the potluck. When I give my opinion in the PTA meetings, people kind of glance at each other.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what kind of opinions are you giving? I don't think that the whole town is looking at you because of your job that way. I mean, is it possible that your opinions are just a nonsense?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>They're not nonsense. Last meeting, I said we should stop wasting money on those interactive whiteboards when half the classrooms don't even have working air conditioning. That's practical. That's common sense.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I agree with you. It is. Maybe you're just in the wrong community. Maybe it's time to move because it sounds like the people around you suck.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>Well, that's the problem, though. My friend Tammy from church said, maybe I'm just looking for reasons to be angry these days, which made me even more pissed off because Tammy doesn't clean houses. She works at the credit union wearing nice clothes and everybody respects her automatically.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I don't know if that's really the case. I mean, I haven't been a cleaning person, but I've never seen somebody that's in janitorial services or cleaning like that treated poorly in comparison to some other profession. I'm sure that's a thing, but not at the scale I think you're describing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>You're not paying attention then when I walk into those school offices during the day to pick up my check, the secretaries are all friendly and chatty with the teachers. As soon as I come in, it's just sign here and back to their computer.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm guessing that it has more to do with who you are as a person and what vibe you give out to people than what you actually do as your profession. Because I don't think that's a thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>What vibe? I'm perfectly friendly. I say good morning. I ask how their weekend was. But you Maybe you're right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I don't know you. I don't know what you're like in public at PTA. If you're one of those people that always pipes up when everybody's trying to go home. Who knows? But I don't think it's because of what you do for work.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>Okay. Fine. Maybe I do pipe up more than other people. But somebody has to say something when they're making stupid decisions.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, people don't like it when you pipe up about their stupid decisions in general.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>Well, then maybe they should stop making stupid decisions. Last month, they voted to spend $8,000 on new gym equipment. When the roof over the east wing leaks every time it rains. I watched water drip into a bucket during the whole meeting, and nobody said anything except me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, maybe it's time for you to find a new community where you fit in a little bit better. But again, I don't think that this treatment is because of your profession.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>You might have a point there. I've been thinking about moving my business closer to Flagstaff anyway. My daughter's up there now, just had her second kid. Maybe people up there won't be so sensitive about hearing the truth.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know about that. It's Flagstaff. I think you're probably going to get a lot of people that are very sensitive in that area. But we're going to move on. Mo, Mo, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. What's going on tonight.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MO</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I manage a bar down here in O'Gallis, and I just found out my dishwasher is secretly a professional competitive eater. Like I'm watching him on YouTube right now, destroying seven 72 tacos in eight minutes. And I had no idea. This is Danny, the quietest guy on my staff who eats his lunch alone in the alley every single shift.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Does he eat 72 tacos in the alley?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MO</span><p>No, no. He brings like a sandwich or leftovers from home. Just sits out there by the dumpster on his phone, real quiet, comes back in and does his shift. That's what makes this so wild.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>One of my regulars came in tonight wearing this gut check championship shirt. asked him about it. And he starts showing me these competitive eating videos on YouTube. And there's Danny. Is Danny super skinny?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>That's the thing. He's just a normal looking guy. Maybe a little on the thin side, but not like crazy skinny. Which I guess makes sense now that I think about it because these competitive eaters, they're not all big guys. It's about stomach capacity or technique or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I don't know what it's about, but I mean every competitor of hot dog eating chance, I've ever seen was like ultra skinny. And I always thought that was odd.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Right, like you'd think it'd be the opposite. But Danny, he's probably 510, normal build, maybe 160. The crazy part is, on these videos he's got his hair all slick back, and he goes by Daniel Fuentes instead of just Danny. And he's got this whole persona. Like he's intense, focused, the crowd's going nuts. Then he comes in to work the next day, and he's just quiet Danny washing dishes. Won't even make eye contact when you should say good morning.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe you guys could lean into that and make Danny a mascot for your restaurant and have people come in and try to compete against him. And he can be the reigning champion, you know, if they can beat Danny, they get the meal for free. I bet it would bring a lot of business.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Oh gosh, that's actually a really interesting idea. I mean, we do pretty good business already, but something like that could definitely draw people in. The thing is, I don't know if Danny wants anyone to know about this. He's kept it completely separate from work. Like, he's been with me for almost two years and I had zero clue.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, some people are shy like that, but I bet if you talk to him, he'd be happy to tell you about his, uh, his championships.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You think so? I mean, maybe you're right. It's just he's so private. Like, I've tried to be friendly, ask him how his weekend was, and he gives me one word answers.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, he's a champion, so he doesn't have to respond if he doesn't want to.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>That's a fair point. I guess I'm sitting here worried about embarrassing the guy, but he's out there winning championships in front of crowds. He's probably proud of it. I'm just not sure how to bring it up without making it weird. Do I just walk up to him Monday and say, Hey, Danny, saw you demolished 72 tacos on YouTube?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's what I would do, yeah. I'm like, oh, yeah, man, I've seen you destroy those tacos.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, okay, I could do that. Just be straightforward about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, man. All right, good luck with Danny. That's interesting. Congratulations on having a champion in your ranks. Next up, we're going to take one more call. We've got, Roberta. Roberta, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>Hey, Luke. So my neighbor Gary thinks I've been breaking into his garage because my garage door opener started opening his door instead of mine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Instead of or as well as?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>Instead of, after the power outage last week, my opener stopped working on my door completely. Then I press it and his door goes up across the street. I can see it from my driveway.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How old is your garage door opener? Because I think they fixed that problem like a decade ago. Those infrared codes rotate and you can reprogram them to work on different stuff. I mean, you could even shut off some of those older-style TVs with one.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>Six years old. And yeah, that is exactly what I tried to explain to Gary. I showed him articles on my phone about frequency resets after power outages.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know, six years, I think they'd have the rotating codes. But yeah, it sounds like you just got to reprogram your remote. That is definitely a security vulnerability, though. And you don't want somebody just showing up and opening your garage door.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>Right, which is why I went and bought a new opener today. $75 bucks I did not want to spend. But my husband said, just do it and move on. The thing is, Gary will not let this go. He cornered me at the mailboxes this afternoon. He has this look on his face like I am lying to him.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there's no much you can do about that. Gary sounds like an idiot. I think everybody understands the basics of how a garage door opener, at least used to work. And that was a very common thing back of the day. Now, though, I think for the most part, that's resolved.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>That is what I thought, too. But Derry kept shaking his head at me like I was making the whole thing up, like I have some reason to sneak into his garage. What would I even be doing in there?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know. Maybe Gary's got something to hide going on in his garage. Maybe he's carving up a body and he doesn't want anybody to know.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>You know what? That would explain why he got so weird about it. He was not just annoyed. He was like, intense about it. Kept asking me if I had been in there. When was I in there? What did I see? I told him I have never set foot in his garage. But he just kept pushing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I would leave it alone. I mean, he could be growing pot or doing something, you know, he just doesn't want people to know about. Whatever, everybody's entitled to their privacy. It's not your fault. Your garage door opener opened his garage door. And he's just going to have to get over it. Because you didn't do anything wrong. He didn't do anything wrong. Everybody just has to move on.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>That is the thing, though. Now, I cannot stop thinking about what he is so worried about me seeing. I mean, I drive past his house every day. His garage door is open half the time when he is working on his truck. But the second, the second. The second my opener accidentally triggers it. Suddenly, he is acting like I committed some crime. And the way he looked at me, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it is alarming if somebody's opening your door. How do you know it was you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>Because it stopped happening after the power company reset everything last week. And my opener stopped working on my own garage, at the same time his, started opening. It is not rocket science. But Gary acts like I am making up this elaborate story to cover something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Eh, just ignore Gary. He sounds like a pain in the ass. I can go about your life and don't worry about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>You are probably right. My husband said the same thing. Just let it go. But Gary lives three houses down, and I see him every single day. And now every time I pull into my driveway, I can feel him watching from his window. It is making me crazy.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's a free country, and he's allowed to watch from his window, so you're just going to have to learn to not let that bother you. And keep in mind somebody's watching you, so don't do anything crazy when you're getting out of your car.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROBERTA</span><p>That is the part that really gets me. I have lived here for six years. I water his plants when he goes out of town. We have borrowed tools back and forth. And now suddenly, I am some suspicious character because of a garage door malfunction.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's too bad, but I hope that everything works out with you and Gary, and you have a wonderful weekend. Ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of our show. Thank you for tuning in. We'll talk to you again tomorrow night. And hopefully, maybe we'll get some calls that get me less upset, because that would be nice. I felt my blood pressure rising on this one. And that doesn't make any sense, because these aren't even real people. So why am I getting upset with them? I don't know. But hopefully you enjoyed the show. So have a great weekend, and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 25: Ghosts, Grudges, and Groceries</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-03-02T06:58:54+00:00">March 2, 2026</time> · 57 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Luke tackles a wide range of issues from his callers - a man struggling with his conscience over an accounting error, a social worker dealing with public embarrassment, and a man reconnecting with his estranged brother. Listeners will be captivated by the raw emotions and practical advice shared.</p>
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<section class="episode-transcript">
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back to Luke at the Roost. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost, the call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's going on in your life. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. If you'd like to call in, the number's 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. If you can't reach the phone right now and you'd still like to participate in the show, you can send us an email. The roost.com. Today is Sunday, March 1st. Happy first day of spring, everybody. And we've got a voicemail from a caller here. So let's see what our caller has to say.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TIMOTHY</span><p>Luke, my name is Timothy. I've got an English bulldog named Buttercup. That's the light of my life. I walk Buttercup twice a day. And I usually route through our neighborhood, which sits at the end of a nice cold sack, takes us by our neighbor marg. I think she's a retired trucker or a masseuse. something. Anyways, she's a nice enough lady, just excruciatingly nosy. Now, it wasn't a problem until recently. Her normal subject matter is lost jobs or love affairs, illegitimate offspring and clandestine abortions and addictions of various genres that afflicted one or more of our neighbors on any given day. Then, last week, she told me how she went down to Peru with Old Lady McGinnis, two houses down. said that they led a group of commandos to rescue the crew of a downed aircraft that had been skinned by an invisible dreadlocked Austrian immigrant or something. I don't know she's lost me at that point. And just yesterday, after dinner, she told me about how she rescued the young couple in the Nissan from Russian assassin. Luke, I think she's lost her marbles. I'm afraid she has advanced Alzheimer's. I don't know how long she's been afflicted by this condition. Frankly, I don't know who I am anymore. I used to plan my entire week around the intel. I gathered from Mars, and now that I know that my source can't be trusted, I'm not left with many options. I just don't know what to do. Feeling lost in Lost Lunas. Can you help?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, well, there's a lot to unpack there, Timothy in Lost Lunas. It sounds like, first of all, I wouldn't assume that your neighbor has lost her marbles you said that she traveled to Peru. It's not easy to do an international trip like that. I mean, you have to have some level of wherewithal left in you to be able to get your passport and whatever shots you need and make it all the way to Peru. So what if what she's telling you here about the downed aircraft rescue is the truth? I don't know. I think I'd probably have to meet this lady for myself to make a good judgment call. But I would say don't rule her out yet, Timothy, she could be our last and final hope. I would be proud to have her as a neighbor because if ever there was an invisible dreadlock Austrian, is that what she said? An Austrian dreadlock soldier? I don't know that I would have the courage to stand up to that myself without, without, I don't know, what would you say, a retired trucker slash masseuse? It seems like she could have the skills we need to survive. I don't know. But that's my advice for you, sir, is don't rule her out just yet. She may be our best and final hope. Thanks for the call. I hope that you have a wonderful march. And tell what was her name again? Bertha? Martha? Whatever the fuck her name was. Tell her to have a good day too, all right? And now our phones are lighting up. So we're going to go talk to Marcus. Marcus, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life today? Do you have any advice for our friend Timothy in Los Lunas?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, thanks for taking my call. I don't know about advice for anybody right now. Honestly, I'm sitting here in the dark and I can hear that wind just hammering the side of the house. You know, dust everywhere. Spring in New Mexico.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You sound like an Australian gentleman. Might you have dreadlocks by any chance?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>What? No, man. I'm from a... Albuquerque. Born and raised. I don't know what you're hearing, but I've lived here my whole life. No dreadlocks? Just a regular guy with a regular hair cart trying to figure some things out at two in the morning.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, man, what are you trying to figure out tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>So three months ago, my foreman cut me a check wrong. Added an extra zero. $5,000 instead of $500.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that sounds like one of them good problems to have.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>That's what I thought at first, you know. My truck transmission had just gone out. It cost me 200 to fix, New Mexico State, and they'd sent another one of those letters, the red ones that say if you don't pay, they're going to drop her classes. So I looked at that check, and I just...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You just what? What are you going to do with the check?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>I deposited it. That day, didn't say a word to anybody.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I imagine that there's going to be some sort of accounts payable coming after you, right? They're going to notice that there was an issue and want that money back eventually.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>That's the thing, Luke. That's what's been eating at me. I kept telling me. I kept telling myself, okay, next week when I see him, I'll mention it. Then it was the week after. Then a month goes by. And every two weeks, another paycheck comes through. Clean, no questions.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, obviously, it's eaten at you. You know, that's wrong. And there was a mistake made. And there's no reason you should have got $5,000 instead of $500. So eventually, when they do their books, they're going to realize they're missing $4,500. And they're going to come looking for you for it. And I don't know that looks like that's never happened to me before. I'm not sure what they can do if they can like pull that money out of your account on their own. But it seems like the type of thing you want to get in front of and talk to them about and let them know, hey, I needed that money and I'll get it back to you by the end of the year when you have to do your books or something. But I think ignoring it's probably going to get you into trouble.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>See, that's what I keep thinking too. But it's been three months now. Three months. And the longer it goes, it feels to say something because now it doesn't look like I just forgot to mention it. Now it looks like I stole it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think it looks like you stole it because, I mean, you didn't write yourself the check, right? And you probably are not in a position where you could write yourself a check. So I think everybody probably understands you didn't steal the money, but not coming clean that there was a mistake is going to come back at you eventually. Unless this is a tiny company that doesn't take track of their books.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>It's not time. We do commercial roofing, got about 40 guys. They've got accountants, the whole thing. And you're right. I can't write checks. I'm just crude.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you obviously didn't steal the money. There was a mistake made and you kind of let that happen, which I think probably most people would do. But still, it's not your money. You weren't owed that money. And if you've spent the money, eventually they're going to want it back and you're going to have to come up with a way to, you know, make them whole again. Either that or work out. with them some way to do enough work to pay it off, you know? That might be an option too.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>I know. I know. And I have been working extra. Picking up overtime every chance I get. But it's not enough.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if you're picking up the overtime, then you're not really working off the debt. You're picking up additional overtime and taking more money from the company.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>Yeah, man, you got to have a sit down with the people that you work for and let them know that there was a I don't know what could happen or, you know, what recourse they have to come back after that money, but you might expect that the money is going to be debited from your account at the worst possible time.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, you're right. The worst possible time. That's what keeps me up at night, Luke. Because my girlfriend, she's been saving up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What's she saving up for?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>She wants us to take a trip this summer, like a real one. She mentioned it tonight and she had this smile, you know? Like she's really excited about it. And I just just, I just sat there nodding like, yeah, that sounds great. When I know I've got this thing hanging over me that could blow up any second.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>She doesn't happen to want to go to Peru, does she?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>No, she's talking about the coast. California, maybe. Somewhere she can see the ocean. She's never seen it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So have you spent the $5,000 already? Is it already completely gone?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>Most of it. The truck transmission was two grand. My daughter's tuition payment was $1,500. Then there was $1,000. the credit card I've been dodging. Rent I was behind on. I've still got maybe 800 left, but that's supposed to be for... It doesn't matter what it's supposed to be for.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you have some sort of a line of credit or a way that you could get the $4,500 if you need to, overnight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>I mean, I could probably scrape together maybe two grand if I had to. My buddy owns a pawn shop. I've got some tools, my old welder. But four and a half? That fast?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>See, that's why I think you should talk to them about it before they find out. Because if they find out and come looking for the money, they're going to want it back immediately. But if you talk to them and let them know, hey, I think there was a mistake. I didn't even, you know, notice. I was just doing my thing and I paid my bills. And I think that I actually owe the company money. I think they'll work something out with you where, you know, you can pay 50 bucks out of every paycheck or something until it's paid off.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>You think they do that? I mean, Luke, it's been three months. How do I walk in there and say I just noticed? Nobody's going to believe that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>They might because not everybody lives check to check, man. So, I mean, it's not that unheard of that you didn't notice that there was money in your account that you spent because not everybody looks at their account every week or every paycheck. And it would be wrong of them to assume that you do. So yeah, I think they might do that, especially since it was their mistake, right? So somebody has to admit that they made a mistake and paid out too much money. And they're not going to want to do that. So if they can clean that up on the down low with you with an agreement that you can both deal with, I think that's the best case scenario.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>Yeah, I guess. I mean, it was their mistake. I just, I should have said something right away. That's the part that's eating at me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, morally, you probably should have, but you didn't. And they made the mistake and they haven't noticed it yet. So it's not realistic for them to expect that you would have noticed it. So just talk to them. Be honest and work it out. And I think that you'll be just fine.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>I don't know if I can just walk in there and say it. I mean, what if they don't believe me? What if they think I'm trying to scam them?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why would they think you're trying to scam them if you're trying to give them their money back? That doesn't make any sense.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>Because I waited three months, Luke. That's what makes it look bad. If I walk in tomorrow and say, hey, I just realized, who waits three months to realize they got an extra five grand?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Plenty of people do. And you could too. And they don't know that you don't. So, yeah. And even if you did wait three months, so what? You waited until you did your taxes and then your accountant found it. It's not a big deal. They're obviously not sweating it after three months, so neither should you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>My accountant found it. Yeah, yeah. I could say that. I mean, I don't actually have an accountant, but they don't know that. You really think they won't fire me over this?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think they can fire you over that because you really didn't do anything wrong. Like, they messed up and overpaid you. That's not anything you did. So no, they can't fire you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>But I kept it. That's the thing. I knew it was wrong. And I kept it. I used it. I paid my daughter's tuition with it. I fixed my truck.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, you did. And you're very sorry about that. But they don't have to know that. You know, you can make it right still. You don't have to go out and say you spent the money the second you saw it, because you knew that was wrong. Even if that's the truth, you can just let them know, hey, I noticed that you never came looking for this extra money you paid me and I owe it to you. So let's see how we can make that work out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>So just don't mention the three months. Don't mention that I knew. Just say my accountant caught it. And I want to make it right. But what if they pull the records? What if they can see exactly when I deposited it?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, they can and they will. And that's okay because they made the mistake three months ago and you're bringing it to their attention, which is the right thing to do. So they're not going to be upset that you didn't bring it to their attention for three months. They obviously don't miss the money, right? So I mean, you're helping them cover up their own that's my advice for you. I think you should go in there and tell them that, hey, it looks like I got paid extra and I owe you guys some money. So let's work this out. And that's it. And nobody has to get fired and it's not a big thing. If they do fire you over it, keep the five grand.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>I don't want the five grand. That's the whole point. I don't want it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's easy to say you don't want it after you already spent it, isn't it?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. I just, I keep thinking about my girlfriend talking about this trip, you know? She's been putting money away.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, one thing you could do if you're really paranoid about them taking the money out of your account is move that money to a different account so that they can't do an ACH debit from your account. I don't even know if they can. I don't even know if that's the thing that they could do. They can deposit money into your account, but I don't think your employer can withdraw money from your account, even if it was a mistake without you saying that's okay. So don't worry about it, Just do the right thing, clean it up, and pay it back over time.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, okay. I can set up a payment plan or something. They're not going to want it all at once anyway. I mean, they can't get blood from a stone, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, they probably are going to want it all at once, but what they want and what you give them are two different things. So just they should be thankful that you're going to give them anything back, especially if you don't legally have to. But I don't know if you do legally have to. So that's the thing. Man, just just. Do the best you can. All right. Next up, we've got Shanice.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>After I've been on shift since Friday morning. And I don't know, something about that just, well, shoot, it set me off.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. Well, I mean, you can just tell them, no, I'm busy. You know, I have other plans. And I don't care if it's mandatory. You didn't give me enough notice. And that's reasonable.</p></div>
|
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|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Oh, I wish it were that simple, Luke. I did tell him that, well, not in those exact words, but I may have said something like, you want me to learn about avocado toast at 6 a.m. after I've been up for 36 hours? My grandmother lived to on black coffee and spite. And she never once set foot in a seminar. And then he got all huffy and said, well, the county's new wellness policy says? And I lost it. I said the county's wellness policy also says we get a 24 hour break between shifts, but here I am eating cold enchiladas in the ambulance bay while my partner naps in the bunk room because we're short-staffed again. And then, oh gosh, this is the part I'm not proud of. I may have muttered something about how if the county really cared about our wellness. They'd hire more staff instead of making us sit through PowerPoints about chia seeds. And now I'm pretty sure I'm on his list.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I bet you are.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I mean, that's an attitude problem, they might call it. But you're also not wrong at all. And no, the county doesn't care about you at all. So you're right about that part. But if you don't want to go to this seminar, then don't go. And they will have to reschedule it. And that's all there is to it. They're not going to can you for it. They're already short staff. They can't can you for it. it. So you probably do have to do the seminar, but you don't have to do it at Monday at 6 a.m. They can move it for you. And you can let them know that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>You know what, Luke? You're absolutely right. I think part of why I got so worked up is I've been doing this thing where I just accept whatever they throw at me because I feel guilty, you know? Like, oh, we're short-staffed. So I have to cover this shift. I have to do this training. I have to. And somewhere in there, I forgot I can actually say. No. My grandmother used to tell me, Shanice, being nice, doesn't mean being a dormant. And I swear I can hear her voice right now saying, girl, what are you doing? But here's the thing that's really eating at me. And this is why I called, I think it's not even about the seminar.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. What's it about?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>It's about the fact that I yelled at my supervisor about wellness seminars while standing next to a man who forgot to eat for three days. And I drove him to the hospital and I made sure he was okay. And I did my job perfect. But the whole time I'm thinking, buddy, I get it because I've been on shift since Friday. And I honestly can't remember if I ate lunch yesterday or dinner. I know I had these enchiladas my neighbor brought over last week, but before that. And then I'm sitting there lecturing my supervisor about how the county doesn't care about our wellness. And I realized, Luke, I don't care about my wellness either.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And there you go. And that's the problem. Because if you care about your wellness, you have to stand up for yourself and your wellness. And working 36 hours and stupid trainings is not taking care of you. And if you're going to continue to work like that, you're going to get burned out. And then you're going to be even more short-staffed, right? The county's going to suffer because you're not able to do the job correctly. Because nobody can if they're working 36 hours at a time. Like that doesn't scale. You can't do that for very long before it's going to make you sick.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>You're right. You're so right. And it's not even just about me getting sick. It's about making mistakes. I mean, we're dealing with people's lives out here. What if I miss something? Because I'm running on fumes? That's what scares me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and it should scare you. And honestly, you don't have to work 36-hour shifts and go to this training. So don't do it. Just say, no, I'm burnt out. I can't do it. If you want me to go to this training to satisfy the counties, whatever, I will, but you're going to have to do it on my schedule. And that's perfectly acceptable. And if they have a problem with it, tell them to go fuck themselves.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Oh, gosh, Luke. I, well, I can't say that last part, but I wish I could. You're right, though. I can say no. I should say no. And honestly, hearing you say it like that, so blunt, so firm, it's like a weight lifted. I've been so stuck in this cycle of just...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you'd be surprised what you can say once you actually say it. You can get away with saying quite a bit. I tell people to go fuck themselves once a week. It's hard first time, but it gets much easier after that. So that's what I recommend. Tell them, you can try to be nice about it, but if they give you any pushback at all, let them know you're not going to have that. Or they're going to have to find a whole new crew because everybody's going to quit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Oh, I can just picture my supervisor's face if I said that. He'd probably call HR and then I'd have to explain to them that no, I wasn't actually threatening to quit. I was just, well, okay, maybe I was threatening to quit. But you're right. If I'm this exhausted, I'm not the only one. And if we all said no, maybe they'd actually listen.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, sometimes you have to not be afraid and actually stand up to them and tell them to go fuck themselves for them to actually listen. Because otherwise, they think they can just make you do whatever they say. And they don't care. They're getting enough sleep at night, right? It's not any skin off their nuts. But you're the one that's up 36 hours and they're telling you to go to some seminar about avocado toast. No, just say no. I'm not doing that. And if you are going to try and force me to do it, if my job is dependent Then find somebody else, you fucking guppy. That's what you say. You fucking guppy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Oh my gosh, Luke. I'm going to remember that one. You know what? You're absolutely right. They do get enough sleep. My supervisor goes home at five every single day. And I guarantee you he's not lying awake at three in the morning, wondering if he remembered to restock the rig. Or if he documented that patient's vitals correctly. He's sleeping just fine while I'm out here eating cold enchiladas in the ambulance bay, trying to stay awake for another twilight.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there you go. You know what you have to do and you have to take care of yourself and your own health before you can take care of anybody else. And that's just the way it is. And there's study after study after study that proves that. I mean, it's common fucking sense. And if they want to give you a hard time about it, give them a hard time back. Because you have leverage here. And they don't want you to know that you have leverage. But of course you have leverage. You're the one that shows up and does the job. You're trained. You're not easy to replace. And it's very, very expensive to get rid of you. They know that. They don't want to, uh, they don't want you to know that, but but now you do. And, uh, you have the power to, to set your own schedule and set your own limits and keep them.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>You know what, Luke? I needed to hear that. I really did. Because I've been walking around feeling like I'm the problem, like I'm not tough enough or I'm complaining too much. Or I should just be grateful I have a job. But you're right.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Of course I'm right. It's the man. That's how the man operates. They want you to feel that way. they demand that you feel that way so that they can, you know, make their money. And it's bullshit. And they're doing it on your back. And it's going to burn you out and significantly affect your physical and mental health. And it's not okay. So stand up to them. Don't go to the meeting. Or, you know, make them schedule it somewhere that fits in your life so that you can get enough sleep. You know how you have to operate to do your job. And you know when you're overextended.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Extended now. So if you've got to take some days off and sleep, then you do that. You're right. I'm overextended right now. I am. And honestly, I've been telling myself I'll sleep when this shift ends. And then the next one starts. And I just keep pushing through. My grandmother used to say you can't pour from an empty cup. And I always thought that was kind of cheesy. But, well, shoot, my cup's been empty for weeks now.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>man up and do it. And you'll be just fine. If they have a problem with it, then they can hire enough people to do the job so that you can rotate adequately and get yourself enough sleep. With that, we have to take a small break for a word from our sponsors. I'm just going to say it. Your penis isn't working. I said it. It's out there now. The word is in the air. We're all adults. Some of us are adults whose penises work, and some of us are adults who are listening very carefully right now while pretending to adjust the radio so the person in the passenger seat doesn't see their face. It's fine. It happens to, and this is the real number, roughly half of all men over 40 at some point. Half. You're not special. You're not broken.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're not the first guy this happened to, and you're not going to be the last. You're just the guy it's happening to right now. And right now you have two options. Option one, do nothing. Keep staring at the ceiling. Keep blaming the altitude, the stress, the medication, the alignment of mercury, the fact that you ate dairy, none of which are the problem. Option two? Sandstone. $45. A doctor who has literally heard everything and will not flinch. Medication that works, a box that reveals nothing, and the ability to walk into your bedroom like a man who handled his business instead of a man who's about to suggest watching another episode of. something. Sandstone. I said the word. You heard the word. Now go to the website. A very special thank you to our sponsors at Sandstone. Let's see. What do we got here? Next up on the caller line is Curtis. Curtis, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>My mom's garage is full of my dead dad's records. And I just spent 40 minutes out there getting mad at myself for crying over a copy of that sounds exactly the same as the Spotify version I play on my job site speaker.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I'm not familiar with the record, Abraxas. I don't know who that is, but I don't think you're crying over the record.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>Abraxas, Santana. And yeah, you are probably right about that. But I have been doing a really good job of not thinking about my dad for like three years. And now my mom wants to donate his whole collection to Goodwill. And I am sitting here at her kitchen table with the phone cord stretched across the counter like it is is 1995.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe you should tell your mom you don't want to part with your dad's record collection. Maybe that's important to you, and that's okay.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>She's just going to donate it to Goodwill. She could donate it to you. I already loaded them in my truck, all of them. She does not even know yet. I just kept bringing boxes in from the garage. And she's in the living room watching her Navolas, and I am out here with like 60 pounds of vinyl that I do not even have a turntable for.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Everybody grieves in a different way, and it takes a different amount of time for everybody. So that's not, there's nothing wrong with you for that. It makes sense. If I ran into a warehouse full of my dad's old stuff, it would probably be an emotional event. So you don't have to feel weird about that. And you should take those records. And maybe someday, if they're not doing you any good and you don't get a turntable, then donate them to goodwill. But right now, it's not hurting anybody for you to take those.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>The thing is, I have been making jokes about this for years. Like, my whole thing in family stuff is doing my bit about how my dad had terrible taste, how he thought Santana was deep, how he would put on Oye Comova, and act like he was teaching me about my culture when really he just liked guitar solos. I have gotten a lot of mileage out of that material.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, good for you. But there are lots of other records in there, and it's not about the records. It's about that he owned them. That was something that he loved that, that reminds you of him and it makes sense for you to want some sort of memento from your dead father. He obviously meant something to you and that's okay.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>He walked out when I was 14. Moved to Tucson with some woman. He met at the port. I saw him maybe six times after that before he died. So the whole thing is stupid, right? Like, I am getting emotional over the record collection of a guy who could not be bothered to drive an hour south to see his own kid for years at a time.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and it's okay to be mad about that. But, uh, There were 14 years there where he was there with you that you remember fondly, I'm sure. So, I mean, don't be too mad at yourself. Don't judge yourself too much for how you're feeling about this. Your father died, and that's a big event. So it makes sense that you would have an emotional connection to the things he left behind.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>The last time I saw him was at a Denny's off the 10. He wanted to tell me he was sick, pancreatic cancer. And I sat there eating a grand slam, and I did a whole 15th, minutes on how at least he picked the right restaurant for bad news. How Denny's is where you go when you have already given up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Now, now, I happen to enjoy Denny's because it's open 24-7 and they serve eggs. And there's almost the entire menu of Denny's I will eat. It's America's favorite diner, you son of a bitch.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>See, you are doing the thing I do, making it a bit. Except I was doing it to my dying father and he just sat there and took it because what was he going to say? He knew he deserved it. in my truck, and I do not know what I am supposed to do with the fact that I am sad about a man I spent six years being mad at.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're supposed to be sad, and you don't have to wallow in sadness forever, but if you're feeling sad about your father and it's bringing back memories for you, that's perfectly normal and perfectly okay, and you can allow yourself the space to feel those things. Even if he was a cunt, you know, even if he did walk out on you and you were angry at him for six years, that doesn't mean he was still your father. And he still meant something to you, and it's still a significant emotional event that requires grieving. And that's what you're doing. So you don't have to worry about anything.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>I just, I don't even know what I'm grieving. The guy who taught me to drive, the guy who took me to see Los Lobos at the old El Rio, or the guy who left and never really came back. Because those are two different people, and I don't know which one I'm supposed to be sad about. And now I've got his records in my truck, like some kind of emotional hostage situation.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You can be sad about whatever picture of your father you have concocted in your mind. It doesn't matter. Just deal with the feelings that you're feeling. Enjoy the records. And when it's time to let go of them, let go of them. But you don't have to worry about or feel guilty about how you're feeling towards your father. No matter what he did, you're feeling how you're feeling. That's okay. Don't let it take over your life, though.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>I mean, I could just enjoy the records, but that's not the bit. The bit is that I'm sitting in my truck outside my mom's house at midnight with a box of vinyl, and I just realized I don't even own a turntable. I've got a Bluetooth speaker from Home Depot and a Spotify playlist called Dad's Shit. Do not delete. So now I've got to either buy a turntable, which, by the way, costs more than my truck is worth, or admit that the whole thing was just me being sentimental over something I can't even use.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You don't have to use it. You can just look at the records. You can enjoy the smell of the records. You can read the cover art from the records. Or you can buy a turntable. They're like 30 bucks. It's not a big deal. If you want to play those records, you can get into vinyl. You can be some hipster douchebag if you want to be. There's nothing wrong with that. Go to fucking hot topic and get yourself a turntable. Get two of them and a microphone.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>Oh, now you're just making fun of me. I know I could buy a turntable. I know I could just look at the records. But that's not the point. The point is that I'm I'm out here acting like some kind of record purist when I don't even like records.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're not acting like a record purist. What are you talking about? You just said you took your dead dad's records and put them in your truck because you didn't want your mom to give them to goodwill. That's not being a record purist. You're not saying that your Spotify playlist is no good anymore because of the sound of vinyl is unmatched in audio fidelity. Stop it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CURTIS</span><p>Okay, you're right. You're right. I'm not being a purist. I'm just, I'm holding on to something because it's the last thing of his that feels like it matters.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and that's perfectly okay.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And you're grieving the death of your father, which is normal for anybody to do, and you have to do it eventually. So, you know, maybe you went three years by pushing that down and not dealing with it. And now is the time that you've got to deal with it. Whatever. It doesn't matter. You're not hurting anybody by taking those records home. And you don't have to feel weird about it. Just to do what you've got to do. If some point down the line, they're taking up too much space or you decide that records fucking suck and you don't want to buy new needles for your $30 turntable, then bring them to goodwill. That's all. It's not a, it's not a thing that has to keep you up at night wondering, you know, why you're feeling that way. Just feel the way you feel and move on.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, yeah. Okay. I can do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I know you can. And you will. Because you, sir, are a man. And that's what men do. All right. Next up, we've got Monique. Monique, welcome to the, uh, welcome to look at the roost. How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>Hey, Luke. So I'm a social worker, and about three weeks ago, I got arrested on a hiking trail for trespassing. My mugshots online now, and all my clients have seen it. I'm sitting here in a laundromat at midnight, wondering if I can still do my job when everyone already thinks I'm a screw up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what was going on here? What hiking trail were you on that you were trespassing on? If it was a hiking trail, obviously it was public.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>No, that's the thing. It was a thing. It was a public. There's this trail that runs through private ranchland out past the state park, and everyone hikes it anyway because it's been there forever, and connects to the good overlook. I've been hiking it for two years, never had a problem. But the landowner finally got fed up, I guess, called the sheriff, and they were waiting at the trailhead when we came back down, cited like six of us.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, a citation is not the same as an arrest. You're not going to have a mugshot for a citation, and it doesn't sound right to me that they would arrest you for trespassing on a hiking trail, even if it pissed off the ranch owner. So if you were arrested and they took your mugshot and brought you down to the station and everything, it's because you were probably an asshole to the officer, were you?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>I'm at the laundromat on Route 70, the one that's open all night. And yeah, okay, you're right. I wasn't an asshole, but I was stubborn about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, you were stubborn about it. You got yourself in trouble, and now everybody knows that you were Nobody cares. People might give you a dirty look for a little while, but nobody gives a shit about trespassing. It's a joke charge.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>That's what I keep telling myself, but it doesn't feel like a joke when I'm doing home visits and the dad smirking at me asking if I need a ride home. All my co-workers making comments in the break room about setting an example. I work with families who are already suspicious of the system. Already think we're just there to judge them and take their kids. And now I show up and they've all seen me looking guilty under those fluorescent lights with trail dust still in my hair. How am I supposed to tell a mom she needs to get her act together when my face is right there on the county website?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Easy, because that's your job to do. And even if your, you know, faces on the county website, who cares? They might look at you a little funny for a little while, but that's only going to be news for a week or two and everybody's going to forget because it's not important. And everybody that is sane, recognizes that trespassing is a joke. And if you are arrested for it, then it's because you were an asshole.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>So what you're saying is I made it worse by being stubborn with the cop. And now I just need to eat it and move on. But here's what I can't get past. I've got this one family, the Hernandez is, right? The dad has a DUI from four years ago. Every time I visit, I can see it in his eyes that he thinks I'm there to catch him messing up. Prove he's still that guy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Are you? Is that your intention when you go visit him?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>No. I mean, my job is to make sure the kids are safe and the home stable. But I'm not trying to catch him being who he was four years ago. I actually think he's doing pretty good. He's working. The house is clean. Kids are fed. But Friday when he saw me, he had this look like, oh, now we're even. And made that crack about the ride home.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Are you still able to do your job and perform your duties as they're assigned to you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>Yeah. I finished the visit. Checked every day. Everything I needed to check, filed my report. Nothing changed about the actual work. It's just, I don't know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's just that you're embarrassed. You broke the law. You got caught. You were publicly ridiculed in the paper. And you're embarrassed about it. And maybe you should be because you did break the law. And you were stubborn with a police officer. So, I mean, you deserve those things. But that doesn't make you any worse at your job make it so that you shouldn't be taken seriously when you're performing the duties that you're there to perform, right? And you're just going to have to get over your embarrassment and move on with your life. And everybody else is going to have to treat you like the professional that you are, because if they don't, you're going to take their kids away.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>You're right. I am embarrassed. And yeah, I was being stubborn because I thought I was right about something that didn't matter.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there you go. And that's all it is. And a week from now, it won't be a thing anymore, and you don't have to worry about it. Just keep doing your job the best you can. And maybe remember next time when you're judging somebody for their arrests or what they look like in their mugshot, that you've been on the other side of that. It can actually make you better and more empathic? Empathetic? I don't know what the right word is. It can make you understand their struggles more and perform your job better. Look at it like an opportunity to increase your effectiveness with the public.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>That's actually, yeah. I've been so worried about losing credibility that I didn't think about it that way. When Mr. Hernandez made that comment Friday, maybe she wasn't mocking me. Maybe he was testing to see if I get defensive, if I'm the kind of person who can't handle being wrong.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And you're a big girl. You can take a little mocking. That's what people do. I mean, it's. It's a little bit funny, you have to admit, and people are going to mock you a little, and that's all right. But you can stand up and do your job, and it doesn't really matter at the end of the day.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MONIQUE</span><p>Yeah, it is kind of funny. I was out there with a metal detector looking for old coins in the middle of nowhere and got so worked up about whether it was actually BLM land that I argued with a cop about jurisdiction. Like, what was I going to do, cite case law, over a hiking trail?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Right. So your problem is solved here. Just going to deal with the embarrassment for a little while, and don't worry about it too much. Try and put yourself in somebody else's shoes now and recognize that a picture in the paper doesn't necessarily mean that a person is bad or not qualified to do their job. Thank you for the call. I hope everything works out for you. And stay off the hiking trails you're not supposed to be on, all right? Next up, we've got Mitch. Mitch, welcome to the show. How can we help you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Luke, man, I just watch my two best friends who supposedly can't stand each other, make out in a parking garage, and get in the same truck together. And I've been sitting here for like three years, watching them act like they hate each other at every single barbecue we have.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, I assume they are of the same sex?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Yeah, they're both guys. And honestly, that's not even the part that's getting to me. Like, I don't care about that at all. What's making me crazy is they're not.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. Um, sorry, I just, I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to even start this. I'm calling from work, actually. I work overnights at a group home over in Safford, and everyone's asleep, so I thought, I don't know. I needed to talk to somebody.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, here I am. What would you like to talk about?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>So my daughter, she's 10. She came home Friday with a black eye. And at first she said it was nothing, just an accident at recess. You know how kids are. But today, she finally, she finally told me truth. It was another kid at school.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, that happens. Kids get in fights at school. Did she start the fight? Do you know anything about the fight? What's going on? Is she being bullied or is it was it just a one-time thing?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>No, she didn't start it. She said this boy just he pushed her down during PE and when she got up, he hit her. And it's not the first time he's been rough with her. She just, she didn't want to tell me because because the boy's mom is my boss, Renee.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like you should talk to Renee about what's going on here because it's never really okay for a boy to hit a girl. I think we all know that. Everybody pretty much accepts that that's unacceptable. What's your daughter like? What's her personality? What's her demeanor?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Oh, she's quiet, you know? Not shy, but she doesn't go looking for trouble. She's the kind of kid who bring home a hurt bird and try to nurse it back to health. Even when I tell her it's probably not going to make it. She's got this big heart, but she's not a pushover. She's got a temper when she's pushed too far.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Is she athletic at all? Does she have any sort of physical sports abilities?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Yeah, actually. She plays soccer. She's fast, real fast. And she's scrappy when she needs to be on the field. That's why when she told me what happened, part of me was like. Well, I mean, boys shouldn't hit girls, but girls should also be able to fight back.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So if she's athletic and she enjoys sporting and that sort of stuff, then maybe it's time to get her into type of martial arts class. So the next time somebody tries to give her a hard time like that, she can kick him in the fucking throat.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>No, no. That's, that's not what I meant. I was thinking, if she's fast, why didn't she just run?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but I'm not talking about what you're thinking. I'm talking about what I'm thinking. And what I'm thinking is she should kick that guy in the throat. So maybe it's time for her to learn to stand up for herself because you can only run so many times, right? If you, if somebody's giving you a hard time and you run away. That just makes it worse. Everybody knows that. If somebody's going to push you down, then you've got to be prepared to stand up and fight back. And that goes for boys and girls. That's just how the world works. It's survival of the fittest, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>I, okay, I hear what you're saying, but that's not really why I called. The problem isn't just what happened to my daughter. The problem is Renee writes my schedule. She handles complaints at the group home where I work.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, okay. So your daughter's getting her kicked at school by a boy, and you're calling in because you're afraid that that boy's mom might make it hard for you at work?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Jesus. No, I mean, yes, but it's not like that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>We can't afford for me to lose this job. My partner's hours got cut at the plant, and we're barely making it as it is. My family's already got opinions about our whole situation. And if I lose this job, they're going to say I told you so about everything. And I don't know how to go to Renee about this without it becoming a whole thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>whole thing and you're a pussy and you're offending me because like what's going on with your daughter at school is more important than how your work situation plays out like your kid needs to be able to stand up for herself against people that would do her harm and this boy is doing her harm and he's going to do it again because that's how bullies operate. So unless you're prepared to give her the training and support she needs to stand up for herself and not be bullied She's going to be a punching bag. That's not cool. Just so you don't get your hours messed with at work, stop it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're right. You're completely right, and I feel sick hearing you say it out loud. Because I've been sitting here for an hour, staring at my phone, trying to figure out how to handle Renee instead of just, instead of putting my daughter first. God, what am I doing? She came home with a black eye, and I've been worried about the schedule.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>You don't have to bring this to Renee at all. I mean, you probably should. It's probably one of the... easier ways to deal with it is to just be like, hey, your son has punched my daughter. That's not okay. And I think she would recognize that and it shouldn't affect your work. I'm sure there's human resources there to step in if there's an issue. If you're being targeted by her for bringing that to her attention. But more importantly, your daughter needs to be able to fight back for herself and make sure that the boys aren't going to pick on her.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I need to go to the school tomorrow. First thing, I don't even know why I was trying to text Renee about it. That's backwards.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>I'm not telling you to go to the school. I'm not telling you to go to Renee. I'm telling you to get your daughter into some martial arts training so she can protect herself.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Martial arts training. Okay, I don't, we don't really have the money for that right now. But maybe there's something at the community center or through the school. Eastern Arizona College might have something. I just need to figure out what's available in Safford that we can actually afford.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Well, if you can't afford it, there are ways that you can, you know, train her yourself or have, she's already athletic. She knows how to train for sports. She knows how to do the basic, you know, fundamental exercises, flexibility training. Get her a punching bag. They're not expensive. And give her the support she needs. Let her know that if somebody's picking on you at school, you punch them back. Even if you lose the fight, you punch them back. Or they're just going to keep coming and coming and coming. That's how bullies work. You must know this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I do know this. I work with kids every day at the group home, and I tell them the same thing. Stand up for yourself. Don't let people walk on you. And here I am telling my own daughter to keep her head down because I'm scared of my supervisor. That's pathetic. You're right about the punching bag.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>That is pathetic. And yeah, you're the role model for your daughter. And if you're a punching bag, then she's going to be a punching bag too. So you've got to learn her to stand up for yourself against the person that writes your schedule at work, and she's got to learn to stand up for herself against bullies that would do her harm at school. And both of you are capable of doing that, as long as she's not looking to you as a role model and seeing you cower down by the person that manages the fucking spreadsheet.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>God, you're not wrong. She's watching me right now. Watching me tiptoe around Renee. Watching me delete texts for an hour instead of just saying something. And then I wonder why she didn't tell me about the black eye until today. She's learning from me take it and keep quiet because you're afraid of what happens if you don't.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>And that's no way to live unless you want to be picked on your whole life. And that's possible. If that's what you want, I mean, that's what will happen. So don't let that happen and get yourself some fucking a blockbuster membership and rent some John Claude Van Damme movies and go outside in the backyard and practice fighting.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, that's not what I want. Not for her and not for me either. I'm going to talk to her tonight when I get home. getting her a punching bag that she needs to defend herself. And I'm texting Renee right now. I don't care if it's late.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Good for you. Good for you. And if Renee gives you a hard time, you go right to HR and you play that game because you can't punch somebody in the workplace generally. But what you can do is say I'm not going to accept being picked on or targeted for standing up for my kid.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're right. I've got documentation. I've been there three years. My reviews are good. I show up on time. She retaliates? That's on her. Not me. I can't believe I was sitting here trying to figure out how to word it so she wouldn't get mad.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Well, now you know.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. One more call, and that'll be the end of our show. We're going to talk to Darrell. Daryl, what's going on in your life tonight? Why are you calling in?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARRELL</span><p>I just listened to a voicemail from my brother that's three years old, and now I am standing in a gas station parking lot at one in the morning trying to figure out if I should call him back.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Why didn't you listen to the voicemail for three years?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARRELL</span><p>Because the phone's been dead in my glove box, I switched carriers, got a new number, threw the old phone in there, and forgot about it. But my girlfriend, Sienna, asked me tonight if I had any pictures from when I first made Sergeant. And I remembered, I took a bunch on that phone, so I dug it out, charged it up, and boom, there's Marcus. Two weeks before he moved to New Mexico without telling anyone.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you changed your phone and didn't talk to your brother for three full years, and now you're wondering if you should call him back?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARRELL</span><p>No, no, we've talked. Not a lot, but we've talked. He's got my new number.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so what's the problem? And then why are you afraid to call him back? What's the voicemail say?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARRELL</span><p>It's not even dramatic. That's the thing. He's just talking about some barbecue place he went to an Albuquerque saying I'd love it, asking if I'm still dating that girl from dispatch, which I wasn't even dating her. We went out twice.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Real casual. I don't understand why you're calling me with this shit.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARRELL</span><p>Because he left it two weeks before he disappeared, Luke. He's calling me about Brisket and asking about some girl, and two weeks later he's gone. No goodbye, no heads up. Just texts Mawn that he took a job in Albuquerque and he's already there.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You just said you talked to him frequently.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARRELL</span><p>I said we've talked not frequently. Maybe five times in three years. Birthdays, holidays, surface level stuff. He calls, I answer. We do 10 minutes. That's it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's how siblings talk. I mean, that's, uh, I think that's pretty normal. So what, what advice are you looking for? Should you call your brother and spark up a real conversation and see what's going on in his life and I, do you want to be in the dude's life? Like, what's the, what's the issue here.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DARRELL</span><p>The issue is I'm standing here listening to him, sound happy, actually happy, talking about some restaurant, and I'm realizing I have no idea why he left. And the thing that's eating me is, did he call to tell me? Was that what the barbecue thing was leading up to? And because I didn't answer, he just said, forget it and left anyway?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you already said he left to go to Albuquerque to take a job. So he got a job opportunity and went to Albuquerque to take it. Maybe he just wanted to change a pace, change a scene, a different life. People move. That's okay.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>They're allowed to What is the issue here?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>The issue is he called me first, Luke. Before he told mom, before he moved, he called me. And I didn't pick up because I was probably writing some jackass a speeding ticket or sitting in a parking lot running radar. And now I'm supposed to what, call him back three years later about a voicemail about Briscuit?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you call him back and say, hey, brother, I haven't talked to you in a while. I want to know what's going on in your life. And you took off, and I'd like to know why.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>And say what when he asks why I'm calling now. Hey, Marcus, funny story. I just found this three-year-old. voicemail you left. Turns out my phone's been dead in my glove box. My bad?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That makes me look like an even bigger asshole than just not calling back in the first place. No, you don't say anything. You say I'm calling you because I was thinking about you, which is the truth. Who cares about the voicemail? Forget about it. It happened three years ago. It was about a brisket place. Nobody cares. He doesn't care. He probably doesn't remember leaving the voicemail. There has nothing to do with the situation now. But if you want to talk to your brother, just call him and talk to him. It's not that big a deal.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>But it is a big deal because I didn't call him back then. God. And that told him everything he needed to know, that I was too busy, that I didn't care enough, that he wasn't a priority, and he was right. I wasn't there. So he left, and he didn't tell me, because why would he? I already proved I wasn't going to pick up the phone.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Look, man, if you're guilty that you didn't pick up the phone because you changed your number or you didn't want to talk, whatever, it's, you just call them and say, look, I'm sorry I didn't pick up the phone. You know, I'm different now. Things have changed, and I'm interested in being in your life. I'd like to know what happened. And if you want him to be in your life, if you want that relationship to matter going forward, then call the dude and talk to him. And don't worry about this voicemail from three years ago because he doesn't care.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I didn't change my number. The phone just died, and I got a new one and I never thought about it again until tonight. And that's worse, isn't it? That I just forgot about it completely. Sienna asked if I had any pictures from when I was younger and I remembered the old phone and charged it up. And there it was.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's enough. brother if you want to talk to him. That's the end of our show. Good night.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 27: Love, Loss, and Loud Opinions</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-03-04T09:02:26+00:00">March 4, 2026</time> · 1 hr 4 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this emotionally charged episode, Luke tackles complex personal dilemmas from callers like Chester struggling with marriage, Tanya navigating an open relationship, and Leon facing his wife’s terminal illness. The show also features intense discussions about homeschooling, workplace boundaries, and inappropriate behavior at youth sports events. Buckle up for raw, unfiltered advice that pulls no punches.</p>
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<a href="https://op3.dev/e,pg=46cfb731-b4a1-55e2-80f3-cadb1c6c18fa/podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/audio/@LukeAtTheRoost/episode-27-love-loss-and-loud-opinions.mp3">Download the episode</a>
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<section class="episode-transcript">
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen to Luke at the Roost. The call-in radio show where you can call in and ask me questions, and I'll give you the best advice that I can. If you'd like to call in, the number's 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. Today is Tuesday, March 3rd, and we're going to get to the phone lines here. We've got Chester. What are you calling in for tonight, sir?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Well, Luke, I'm sitting here in my trailer out at the yard, and I just saw this thing on the news about Mexican Chile coming in and undercutting our prices. And it got me all worked up because, you know, I remember back in 2008 during monsoon season. I drove all the way up to hatch in the middle of a storm because I wanted real New Mexico peppers, the authentic ones, not this garbage they're trying to pass off now. And my roof was leaking that same night, water coming through in three different spots, but I went anyway. because some things matter more than convenience, you know what I do. And now my girlfriend, Denise, she keeps saying we should just buy the pre-roasted stuff from Costco, which is exactly the problem with everything these days. Nobody cares about quality anymore. Nobody cares about where things come from or what they mean. Everything's got to be easy and cheap and fast, and I'm sitting here thinking, maybe that's connected to something bigger I've been wrestling with, but I haven't quite figured out how to say it yet.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, where do the chilies come from that go, than the Costco ones, because they could be coming from Hatch New Mexico. I don't know.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>No, no, no. See, that's what they want you to think. But if you look at the label, really look at it. Most of that stuff is coming from Anaheim, California. Or they're mixing it with peppers from Mexico or even Peru sometimes. They slap Hatch style on there, which doesn't mean a damn thing legally. Hatch child means it's grown in the Hatch Valley in that specific soil with that specific climate. My buddy Ray, he used to work at one of the roasting-off. operations up there before it got bought out. And he told me they started blending in cheaper peppers from wherever they could get them, because the demand got so high after it became this trendy thing. And people can't tell the difference anymore because they never had the real thing to begin with. When I drove up there in 2008, I bought directly from the Franzoi family. Watch them roast it right there. Filled up my whole truck bed.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that sounds pretty excessive. You're a real connoisseur of chili peppers. I can't tell the difference myself. I do like that. I do I don't know if they're Hatch Chilies or Hatch style chilies, but I like the green chili on my burgers. And honestly, I could care less whether it comes from Hatch, New Mexico, or Anaheim, California. They're not very far apart. Neither is Mexico. And I bet that the peppers in Peru are fabulous. So what's the big issue here?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Well, that's exactly what Denise says. Maybe you're both right. Maybe I'm the one who's got it all twisted up. But it's not really about the peppers, Luke. I don't know. They're the thing I can point to and say, this matters. This is real. This is worth doing right.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It seems like a pretty small thing to get hung up on doing right. I mean, chili peppers that are like a condiment on your burger. But hey, if you like the hatch ones, drive out to hatch and fill up your truck bed. Good for you. I don't, I'm not sure what sort of volume of peppers come out of hatch. Is there enough chili pepper grown in Hatch, New Mexico to supply the whole country?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>No, that's the thing. There's not. The whole valley only produces maybe 30,000 tons in a good year. And the country wants millions of pounds of the stuff now that it got popular. So mathematically it doesn't work, which means most of what people are eating isn't what they think it is, and that bothers me on principle. But you're right, it's a small thing. The real reason I called, and I've been dancing around it, is that Denise has been dropping hints about getting married for about six months now.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, I don't really see how how you've been dancing around that, but how do you feel about getting married to Denise?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>I don't know, Luke. That's the problem. We've been together four years. She's a good woman, works hard at the hospital as a billing clerk, doesn't complain about the hours I keep at the yard. She makes sense on paper. But every time she brings it up, I get this feeling in my chest like something's closing in. And I change the subject, or I pick a fight about something stupid like the peppers.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you don't have to get married if you don't want to get married. Definitely don't get married sure you want to get married. My recommendation to everybody is absolutely under no circumstances get married because it's the worst fucking possible thing you could ever do. But no, people don't listen. I didn't listen. I did it myself and it was the worst fucking thing I ever did. So don't.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>See, that's what I keep telling myself. But then I think about my dad. He never married my mom, just kept her hanging on for 17 years saying he wasn't ready, wasn't sure, needed more time.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but he fell apart with 100% of his assets, I'm sure. Whereas if he had got married and she left him, he would have fell apart with half.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Well, he didn't have much to split anyway. The junkyard was already mortgage to hell, and she never wanted any of it. She just wanted him to commit to something for once in his life instead of keeping one foot out the door all the time. And now he's 72, lives alone in that same trailer, eats TV dinners, and I can see myself turning into that.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I think that getting married out of fear of being alone is definitely the wrong reason. But you're your own man. If you think it's time to tie the knot, then go ahead and do it. But I recommend that you don't. And absolutely, if you're going to get married, prenuptial agreement.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>Yeah, Denise would lose her mind if I brought up a pre-nup. She'd take it as me planning for failure before we even started. And maybe she'd be right. The thing is, Luke, I think the real problem is I don't know if I'm capable of what she needs. She wants someone who comes home at a decent hour, who wants to take vacations to Branson or wherever, who's excited about picking out furniture and talking about where we'd send kids to school.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, are you that guy? I mean, I didn't bring up pre-nup either for all of those reasons. It seems like an offensive thing if you're talking about getting married. But you know what? It's better to be offensive up front than have to get a lawyer later.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>No, I'm not that guy. I'm the guy who'd rather stay at the yard until midnight organizing parts bins that don't need organizing because at least out there, I know what I'm doing. And she knows that about me, which is maybe why she keeps pushing the marriage thing, thinking a ring and a ceremony will transform me into somebody different. My buddy Ray did that, married a woman who wanted him to be less of a drinker, and now he sneaks bourbon in the garage and lies about where he's been. That's no way to live either.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, sir, it is not. And if that's what you think is going on here and she wants to marry you because she thinks that's going to change your behavior, then I think you should definitely not do that because it's not going to go well. Your behavior is not going to change. Or if it does, you're going to resent that you changed it for somebody else. And eventually, you're both going to hate each other. And it's not going to be a pleasant experience. So if you're not completely sure you want to get married and you shouldn't be, then don't do it. advice for you is just don't do it. And if she feels like she's hanging on and doesn't want to hang on, let her go.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHESTER</span><p>That's the thing that keeps me up at night, though, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Oh, gosh, hi, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So my husband just texted me that he's spending the night at his girlfriend's place, and I've been sitting here in my restaurant office for like an hour, staring at my phone, and I don't know what I'm feeling.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, obviously, you know about the girlfriend. This is an open type relationship. How does that work? Your husband has a girlfriend and you're okay with that? Or you don't know if you're okay with that? What's the situation? Give us some context.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Right, so six months ago, I suggested we open up our marriage. I read this article about how it can bring back excitement, and I thought maybe that's what we needed, because things had gotten really flat, you know? And he was.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I was into the idea, but here's the thing, Luke. The thing is he's got his girlfriend and you don't have somebody else now. He's working out for him and not you, I assume.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Exactly. He found someone on this Dayton app within like a week. Her name's Rebecca. And I've been trying. I really have. I've sent out probably 30 messages and I haven't gotten a single reply. Not one.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So are you jealous that he's out with his girlfriend? Or are you jealous that he found a girlfriend and you didn't find a boyfriend? What is it that's boss?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>That's what I keep trying to figure out. I keep telling myself I'm happy he's happy. Right? Like that was the whole point. But tonight when I got his text, I saw my reflection in the office window here, and I realized I couldn't remember the last time I actually looked at myself for that long.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you even want a boyfriend? I mean, you said the spice was gone or whatever and what, I assume you guys weren't having sex and you wanted some? Are you not able to get laid?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>I mean, I want to want it. Does that make sense? Like I thought opening things up would make me feel alive again or desirable or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>But honestly, Luke, I don't even know if I'm actually attracted to any of these guys I'm messaging. I'm just doing it because that was supposed to be how this works. We both get to see other people and it fixes things somehow.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, obviously, that's not going to work. You have to actually want to see other people. I think that can work for certain couples. I think it's very difficult and you have to be the right kind of people for it to work. But just trying to fix a problem by opening it up seems like it's probably going to just make a worse problem. Is it that you're not attracted to men?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>No, no, it's not that. I'm attracted to my husband still, or I was. I think what's happening is I suggested this whole thing because I thought it would make him want me again, you know? Like maybe if other people wanted me, he'd remember why he did. But now he's over at Rebecca's place and I'm sitting here and clothes that smell like friar oil, and I'm realizing I might have just given him permission to leave without actually leaving.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I've never had children, so I've never had to go through that back and forth with somebody about how we're going to raise them. So I can't give you the greatest advice here, but I would say if you can't come to an agreement amongst yourselves, flip a coin.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>A coin flip? This is not a decision you flip a coin on. I have actually done the research here. I have read three peer-reviewed studies in the last week about homeschooled kids and college readiness.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, a lot of kids don't go to college, and it sounds like she's done her research, too. So there's opposing views here. A lot of people, everybody I've known that's been homeschooled swears by it. So I don't know that the public school has a very good track record.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Okay, but those studies show that homeschooled kids have real gaps in socialization. And that is exactly what I am worried about with Maya. She has spent years being the quiet kid who ate lunch alone. And this year, she finally has a group of friends. She is going to sleepovers. She is texting with kids from her class. You yank her out now and put her back in the house all day with just her mom and her little brother. That progress disappears.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, not necessarily. There's still ways to get her socialization throughout the day and the week. I mean, she can still be in different clubs and have her friends and go to the live. and things. It's not just locking her in the house all day. Socialization is part of the homeschooling.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Yeah, Sharon says the exact same thing. She talks about homeschool co-ops and field trips and whatever, but that is not the same as being in class with the same 30 kids every single day. Those co-op things meet what, once a week? Twice a week maybe? Maya has finally figured out how to navigate the social world at Silver Consolidated.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I mean, that's a small school, right? You're talking about Silver. New Mexico?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Silver Consolidated. Yeah. We're in Byard, actually, just outside Silver City. It is a small school, which is part of why this is working for her. She knows these kids.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, if you live just outside of Silver City, she's still going to know those kids. They're still in her town. I mean, she can still go to events with them and go to the movies and stuff and do kid things. So I don't really see the problem. Like, if you were in New York City public, school where she had 500 classmates, that would be a different experience. But homeschool versus a small Silver City Consolidated School, I don't think it's going to be that much different. I mean, and you don't know what's going to happen in the future. Imagine it was just a few years ago and COVID happened. And then all the classes were over Zoom meetings for years. Like, what did that do to kids' socialization? They still made it. They still were able to communicate with their friends and learn socialization. think. I don't really know. Don't take any of my advice on this one. I don't know what I'm talking about, but just from my perspective, I don't think there's that big of a difference between homeschooling and regular schooling. And if I were doing it, I would push for homeschooling. If I could, if I had the time to do that, because I really don't believe in the school system at all.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Okay, but here's what you're missing. Maya is not just any kid. She has struggled with this her life. We are talking about a girl who used to fake being sick to avoid school because she was so anxious about talking to other kids.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, and going to school sucks. So, you know, that's showing you she's been in school and she was still shy. Now she's getting a little older and she's made some friends, but it's a different situation now. It's not so much about the school as her age.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>That is exactly what Sharon says, and I do not buy it. Yes, she is. She is. She is getting older, but the reason she finally made friends this year is because her English teacher put her in a group project with three other girls, and they clicked. That does not happen sitting at the kitchen table with workbooks.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That also really doesn't happen that often in the workplace. I mean, think about today's modern workplace. You are working on those projects remotely with people across, you know, Zoom meetings and stuff. The school experience is pretty far from reality.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>I work with my hands. I fix things. I am in my workshop right now looking at circuit boards and actual tools. The real world for me is not Zoom meetings. It is dealing with people face to face. And that is what Maya needs to learn. She needs to learn how to handle herself when someone is rude to her in the hallway. Or when a teacher calls on her and she does not know the answer. Or when her friend group has drama. You cannot simulate that stuff at home.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You can absolutely simulate that in the real world because that's around everywhere. She's going to have to learn how to deal with people face to face. in business, in going to the bank and dealing with a difficult employee, shopping at Walmart. Like, she's going to have to deal with those things in school or anywhere else in the world because that's just dealing with other people. She doesn't need to be in school to do that. She could be literally anywhere in society.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>But she is 13 years old. She is not going to the bank by herself or dealing with difficult Walmart employees. The only place she is at. actually navigating peer relationships on her own, without me or Sharon standing there, is at school. That is where she is learning to handle conflict with people her own age, to read social cues, to figure out who to trust.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, that's because that's the only place you're putting her. But if you tell her to leave at 8 o'clock and go outside and go hang out at a coffee shop, she's going to meet people there. If she goes to do the shopping on a Thursday, then she's going to meet people there. And yeah, she's 13, but 13 is a teenager. She should be out and doing things with kids outside of school and home, right? I was. I'm sure you were out playing on the road with the other kids on the street. There was more to socialization than just what happened in the defined six hours of school or whatever.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>You are talking about Silver City, New Mexico. There is no coffee shop where teenagers just hang out. This is not some college town. And yeah, when I was a kid, we were outside all the time. was different. Kids do not do that anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, because you don't let them. Kids would do that if you let them. If you encourage them to do it, they certainly would. And the Silver City is a college town, and there are coffee shops where kids are hanging out because I've been there. So I don't know what you're talking about.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Okay, fine. Western New Mexico University is there, but Maya is not a college student. She is 13. And yes, maybe there are a couple coffee places, but the point is Sharon wants to pull her out right now, of the school year, when she finally has this friend group.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and I'm on Sharon's side, so sorry, I don't agree with you. You're not going to get the answer for me that you're looking for.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Well, hold on. You were just going to side with her without even hearing the full situation? Maya has anxiety. She has had it since she was little. She would not talk to other kids at birthday parties. She would hide behind Sharon at the grocery store.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I'm going to side with her after having heard what you just said like four different times because you keep repeating it. I understand she has anxiety.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>It is not just regular nervousness. She has been seeing a therapist for two years. And this year, eighth grade is the first time she has actually had friends who call her, who invite her to things.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, that's great. And they can keep inviting her to things and calling her if she's homeschooled. She's already made the friends, right? She's already got them. So I don't know what you're looking for for me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARLA</span><p>The question is, how do you say no to people without them deciding you are the problem? Because every time I have said no in the past year, someone has made it very clear that I am being difficult. My supervisor asked me to switch my weekend off in January so she could go to her daughter's volleyball tournament.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Next up, we've got Cliff. Cliff, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life today? Do you have a real problem that I can give you real advice about?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>Hey, Luke?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>I caught my tax client's wife cheating on him in the Albertson's parking garage tonight, and I cannot stop laughing about it, even though I probably should not have seen what I saw, so I do taxes. Right? Been doing Ray's returns for maybe eight years now. Nice guy, owns a plumbing supply company, always complaining about his wife Denise at poker. She shows up to our potlucks and complains right back about him.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so why are you laughing about his wife cheating on him?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>Because it was with Ray. They were cheating on each other with each other, Luke. I am standing there in the parking garage like 9.30 because I forgot my briefcase in my car. And there is Demise, pushed up against a Honda Civic, with some guy, and I'm about to turn around and pretend I did not see anything. And then the guy turns his head and is his ray.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't understand. How is that cheating? That is exactly what I've been trying to figure out for the last two hours. They are married to each other. They live together.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>No, I know they are married. That is what makes this so insane. These two spend every social gathering for the last three years, telling anyone who will listen how much they cannot stand each other. Ray sits at poker and goes on about how Denise nags him about every little thing, how she hates his hobbies, how they have not had a real conversation in months. Denise shows up to potlucks and tells my wife that Ray is emotionally unavailable, and they are basically roommates at this point.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, good for them. It sounds like they found a way to inject a little something into their relationship and maybe restart the flame or whatever it is they say. I think that's great. Good for them.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>But Luke, they are lying to everybody. That is the part that is making me crazy. I have sat through hours of Ray complaining about his dead bedroom. Hours.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, they weren't in the bedroom, were they?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>No. They were in a parking garage acting like teenagers who just discovered each other. And the whole time they had been performing this miserable marriage routine for everyone we know. I mean, we have all been taking sides. People avoid inviting them to the same things because the tension is supposed to be so bad. My wife spent 45 minutes on the phone with Denise two weeks ago talking her through whether she should leave him.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, maybe it got to a point where they had to do something, and they decided that instead of hating each other for the rest of their lives or breaking up, they were going to try and reignite the passion by doing some public play.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>Public play? They do not even know I saw them. This was some plan to fix things. Why are they still doing the whole song and dance? Ray called me yesterday to cancel poker night because he said Denise was giving him grief about spending too much time with the guys.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, maybe they're lying about it, maybe they're embellishing how much they don't like each other, or maybe they actually don't like each other, but people still like to fuck, you know? So it could have just got long enough for each of them that they needed to bone, and they found a place to do it, and you happen to see.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>That is the most depressing thing I have ever heard. What kind of marriage is a is that. You hate each other enough to complain about it to everyone you know, but not enough to actually do anything about it. So you just meet up in parking garages every once in a while?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know. It's not on me to judge their marriage, but that sounds better than not meeting up in parking garages at all. People do have needs, and it seems like they're getting them from each other, which is the point. And if they do that in an unconventional way, who cares? That's their life. That's their marriage. If they're a pain in the ass to you and your friends, though, to them about it and say, hey, you guys need to cut the shit because we're sick of listening to it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>I cannot talk to them about it without admitting I saw them, and then I am the crink with a telescope who watches people in parking garages. Which is not what happened. I was packing up my equipment and I looked down and there they were under a light post going at it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well if they were going at it in a public parking garage, they wanted to be seen. That was the point of the exercise was that they could be caught. That's what made it exciting for them. You must understand this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>You think they wanted someone to see them? In downtown Albuquerque at 1030 on a Tuesday night in an empty parking garage.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I don't think they wanted somebody to see them. They wanted to be in a place where they might be seen. There's a difference.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>Okay, fine. But that still does not solve my problem, which is that I have to sit across from these people at every gathering for the rest of my life, knowing what I know, while they keep performing this whole charade. Do I just pretend I believe it? Do I keep listening to Ray complain about how she never wants to do anything spontaneous anymore?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>How spontaneous she can be? No. You're just, the next time he says something like that, let him know that you saw them and that he's lying and that he's busted. And maybe there's more to the story than you're aware of, and maybe there's not. But either way, you don't have to hide that. I wouldn't go and tell everybody else. I wouldn't tell it to all your friends at the poker table. But if you're with Ray and Ray is talking some shit that is obviously not true, then call him out on it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CLIFF</span><p>Yeah. So I just say what, Ray, I saw you and Denise screwing against a Honda Civic last Tuesday. Cut the crap? That is going to go over real well. He's going to lose his mind.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fun. It'll be interesting.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Then you'll have a good reason to laugh. You are out of your mind. This is terrible advice. Now I am going to have Ray pissed off at me for spying on him. Denise pissed off at me for embarrassing her and everyone else wondering why I was downtown with a telescope at 10. 10.30 on a Tuesday.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you weren't spying on him. They were in a public place. They were in a public place because they were doing some sort of public play. Like, they wanted the thrill of potentially being caught by somebody, and you happen to see them. Unless you actually were spying on them, then that's a different story. If you were spying on them, then you're a creep. And send us the pictures. We have a Discord. You can check that out.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I was not spying on them. I was packing up my telescope after looking at the moon for two hours. I looked down to make sure I was not leaving anything on the ground, and there they were, under the only working light in that whole section. It was completely accidental. And no, I did not take pictures.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that was a missed opportunity then, sir. But that's my advice for you is the next time he starts bitching about his wife in front of you, let him know that you know. And tell him he's caught in the lie and to cut the shit. And, you know, maybe you learn more about that story and there's, I'm sure there's more to it. But from the information that you've given me, eh, who cares?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>All right. So I am just supposed to blow up the entire dynamic at the next poker night, funny. That is what I am hearing. Because once I say something to Ray, this is not staying between us. He is going to tell Denise I saw them. She is going to freak out. And then I am the guy who ruined everything by not minding my own business. And I still have to see these people every week.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you did mind your own business. I mean, all you're doing is calling on him for lying the next time he lies. I'm not saying to blow up your poker game or take it to the poker table. I'm saying when you're alone with Ray and he bitches about his wife, tell him to cut the shit because you caught them. That's all. That's all. And yeah, I do think it would be funny. And if you don't want to do this, if you don't want to take this advice, that's fine. That's fine by me. But you're the one that called and asked for it. So, I mean, there's that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You know what? You are right. I did call and ask for it. And now I am sitting here realizing I called a radio show at midnight to complain about my friends having sex in a parking garage, like I am some kind of pervert, which is exactly what Ray is going to call me when I bring this up. This whole thing is ridiculous.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>conversation goes on, the more you actually sound like a pervert, because you're protesting being a pervert an awful lot. And if it went down the way that you said it went down where you just happened to see them because they were there in public under the light, then no, you're not a pervert. You just happen to see something. But you seem really, really nervous about looking like a pervert. So I'm starting to question whether or not what you're telling me is the truth.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Oh, come on. I am nervous because I know how this is going to sound no matter how I explain it. I was downtown with a telescope late at night, and I saw two people I know going at it. That sounds bad. It sounds like I was looking for something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think it does. I think it sounds like they were looking to be found.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Maybe you are right about that. I have known Ray for eight years, and the man complains about Denise constantly. Every single time we get together, it is something new. She does not appreciate him. She nags him about money. She wants him to be someone he is not. And those things are all probably true, but that doesn't mean they don't want to fuck. And honestly, that is the part that has been bothering me since I got home. They have this whole routine down where they act like they cannot stand each other in front of everyone, and meanwhile, they are sneaking off to parking garages. What is the point of all that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know, but I can't tell what the point of this call is either, so we're going to go to a break from our sponsors here, and we'll be back shortly. Look, I'm not a financial advisor. I'm a guy with a microphone and a dog, but the folks at Crypto no asked me to tell you about their new decentralized investment platform, and I legally have to read this part. Past performance does not guarantee future results. This is not financial advice. And if you invest your rent money, you deserve exactly what happens next. Crypto No lets you trade over 400 digital currencies, including three that were invented this morning and one that's just a picture of my dog. The app features a real-time portfolio tracker with a built-in panic button that just plays ocean sounds when your balance drops. Crypto no. Fortune favors the bold, but it does not return their calls. Okay, thanks to Crypto No for the sponsorship there. We couldn't do the show without you. Crypto No. That's what I say. Next up, we've got Leon. Leon, welcome to the show. What's happening in your life tonight, sir? How can we help?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking. Thanks for taking my call. So I found my wife's pills today. She's been stockpiling her oxy, and I am pretty sure I know what she's planning to do with them when things get bad enough. And I cannot figure out if I should say something or just let her have that choice.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, that's a tough one. What is it, what is going to get bad enough? I mean, what situation is she in where she would be thinking about that?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>She has got stage four pancreatic cancer. They gave her maybe six months back in January and she's about halfway through chemo right now. The pain is manageable now. But her oncologist already told us it is going to get a lot worse before the end. Linda is the kind of person who has always been in control of everything. I mean, she planned our wedding down to the minute she runs the finances. She even picks what I wear to church. And I think the idea of being bedridden and helpless at the end just terrifies her more than dying does.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I can understand that. And I can understand that in why it's a difficult situation for you to be in. There's not a right answer there. It very much depends on your own personal values and beliefs. But I can tell you if it were me, I would want to have that option. So maybe it's worth having the conversation with her, letting her know that you know what she's doing, what she's planning on, and asking her if she wants you to get involved or not.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>That is the thing, though. I do not know if I can have to have that conversation without falling apart. We've been married 36 years, and we have barely talked about her dying at all. Like, really talked about it. We mention appointments. We talk about side effects from the chemo, but we do not say the actual words. And if I bring up the pills, then we have to say it out loud. We have to talk about her last day and whether I am going to be there and what that looks like.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and I think that you're going to have to have that conversation and it's okay if you've followed apart. I mean, that's perfectly acceptable. Of course you're going to fall apart. But you should have the conversation, regardless. Even if the pills weren't part of the equation, you should still have the conversation and talk about what that day should look like because that day is coming and you both know it's coming. So avoiding the conversation is not going to be helpful. And I think if you don't have that conversation, when the day does come, you will wish that you had.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>You are right. I know you are right. I know you are right. I have been thinking about it like I am protecting her by not bringing it up, but really, I am just protecting myself from having to face it.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Next up on our call line, we've got Heather. Heather, welcome to the show. What's going on?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Luke, I don't know. I just watched some jackass at my nephew's little league game shove a 16-year-old umpire over a called third strike. And when I told him to back the hell off, he got in my face screaming about how I was destroying his kid's future. This was a game for eight-year-olds. Eight. And the worst part? Not one other parent said a damn word.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And how did you respond to the situation?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>I got right back in his face and told him if he touched that kid again, I was calling the cups, which made him lose it even more. Started yelling about how people like me are what's wrong with youth sports, how everyone's too soft now, how his son needs to learn that life isn't fair and someone's got to fight for him. Meanwhile, his kid is standing there crying, absolutely mortified. The umpire's shaking, my nephew's confused, and I'm standing there thinking I'm about to get into an actual fist fight in a Little League parking lot. At 43 years old.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I mean, it's stories like that that don't make me sad. I don't have kids and I don't have to deal with that stuff. But it sounds like those little kids sports games get pretty intense and it's not about the kids at all. It's about the fathers generally living vicariously through their eight-year-old kids thinking that they're going to be giant sports stars someday. But they're just little sniveling idiots running around in circles.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Exactly. That's exactly what it is. And you know what really gets me? This guy kept saying, my son's future, my son's future. Like some college scout was hiding in the bleachers at a Tuesday afternoon game in Demon, watching third graders, his kid can barely catch a pop fly.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it's pretty silly. I agree with you. And it's unacceptable behavior from from lots of usually the dads at those things. And I'm glad that I don't have to go.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Well, here's the thing, though, Luke. I've been sitting here at my salon for three hours doing inventory because I can't stop thinking about it. And it's not just about that dad being a psycho. It's that nobody else said anything. There were maybe 20 parents there. And they all just stood there looking at their phones or pretending to be real interested in the concession stand. Like if they don't acknowledge it, it didn't happen.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, what would you have hoped that they did? Some of them probably agreed with the dad. Some of them agreed with you. What would your ideal outcome have been?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>I wanted somebody, anybody, to back me up. Even just one person to say, hey man, that's not okay. Because when I'm standing there alone, telling this guy off, I look like the crazy one. I look like I'm the problem. And you know what happened after? Two different moms came up to me later after he left and whispered, thank you for saying something that was so brave. Brave?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you didn't look like the crazy one. I bet nobody there thought you looked like the crazy one.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>They all knew that he was being a douchebag and were probably proud of you for standing up for it, but they're all pussies and they don't want to get in trouble with the school or end up in the paper or get their kids in trouble. People are weak. That's what pisses me off, though. Everyone's so worried about making waves, about being that parent, that they'll watch a grown man assault a teenager and just let it happen.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. It's a sad state of affairs, for sure. I agree with you. But here's what I can't stop thinking about. That dad's kid? He's in my nephew's class.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Yeah.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And is the dad's kid a good kid? Is he a friend of your nephew?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>I don't know. That's the thing. I've never actually talked to the kid. But I see him at every game now, and all I can think is, that's the psycho's son. And that's not fair to him, right? Like, it's not his fault. His dad's an asshole. But I'm sitting here wondering if I should say something to my sister about not letting them hang out.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I doubt that very much. That kid's life probably sucks at home. That guy is almost certainly an asshole all the time. I would guess, I don't know the guy. I never met him, but I would guess he's the type that's punching walls and probably drinking heavy and just not being a great father figure. I could be wrong about that. That's a gross generalization, but I mean, that's the picture that behavior paints. would feel sympathy for the kid and maybe try and be more involved in his life so that you can be a positive influence and let him know that not all adults act like that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>You know what? You're right. I didn't even think about it that way. I've been so focused on being mad at the dad that I didn't consider what that kid's dealing with.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that kid is probably horribly embarrassed. He doesn't want to be the center of attention in that way. Nobody does.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>So he was bag father. God, you're absolutely right. I didn't even look at the kid after it happened. I was so focused on his dad and then on whether anyone was going to back me up, that kid probably wanted to disappear into the ground.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep. That's understandable. So, I mean, look at the kid with sympathy and try to be a good role model for him and don't let the sins of the father affect the youth of America or whatever the fucking saying is. Thanks for the call. I'm going to end up, the show here. And do you have anything else you'd like to add before we sign off for the evening?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">HEATHER</span><p>Yeah, just one thing. To anyone listening who was at that game today and saw what happened and didn't say anything, you're part of the problem.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's right, Heather. I agree with her. You guys are the douchebags. You're the reason that everything sucks now. And you should be ashamed of yourselves. Good night. Thank you.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 28: Secrets, Lies, and Vinyl Records</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-03-05T21:38:03+00:00">March 5, 2026</time> · 1 hr 4 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this episode of Luke at the Roost, callers share deeply personal stories about hidden truths and challenging life decisions. Wendell confronts potential infidelity, Luther reveals his obsessive surveillance of a friend, and Brandy considers a risky business partnership. What secrets are you holding onto?</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Welcome back to Luke at the Roost. This is the call-in radio show where you can call in and ask me whatever's on your mind, and I'll give you the best advice I can. If you'd like to give me a call, the number is 208-439-58-53. That's 208-439 Luke. And I'd like to give a special thank you to everybody today, because today we hit 1,000 downloads, which is, insane to me, considering this has only been going on for a month or so. So thank you to all of you out there that enjoy listening to my voice. That's, it's very nice for you, and we couldn't do it without yet. So today is, it's actually Thursday, March 5th, but I'll consider it Wednesday's show, because it just passed midnight a little while ago. It's getting laid out here, and we're ready to give some advice. Gangsta hip hop here to play in the background. That's perfect. And we're going to get to our calls. So, Wendell, Wendell, you're calling in today? What's going on tonight?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>My wife made a joke tonight. About our daughter being tall like my family. Except nobody in my family is tall, Luke. Nobody. And I've known since this kid was three years old that she's not mine biologically. I did the math. I remember exactly when my wife had that thing with her co-worker. But here's the thing that's eating me up right now.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wow, it's not even the thing that your kid isn't your kid? Are you sure? Have you done a paternity test or any sort of DNA verification? I mean, that seems like awful circumstantial evidence, but what is it that's eating you up right now?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>No tests, no DNA, nothing official like that, but Luke, I'm telling you I know. The timeline is perfect. The features don't match either of us. And there was this whole two months back then, where things were weird. Even though we never said it out loud. But that's not what's got me twisted up tonight, man. What's killing me is that I chose this.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You chose what? You chose going to the laundromat tonight? Or you chose a wife that's going to cheat on you and then you're never going to talk about it? You need to know this for sure. You're making a lot of accusations here. It seems like maybe you might not be right about that. You should probably have a conversation and see if there's a reason for your hesitance, your paranoia here.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>No, no, no, Luke, you're right. I should say it clearer. I chose to be her dad. When she was three, I sat in my truck outside a clinic that does paternity tests, and I had all the paperwork filled out, and I sat there for 45 minutes, and then I drove home and threw it away, because I realized I didn't want to know officially. I wanted to keep being her father. Every soccer practice, every scraped knee, every time she runs up and hugs me when I pick her up from her, school. That's real. That's mine.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, okay, okay. But, uh, you sound awful angry about it. It doesn't sound like it's, uh, making you feel joyful and, uh, happy. Why are you so upset?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>Because tonight when my wife made that joke, she was so casual about it, so comfortable with the lie. And it hit me that she doesn't know that I know. She thinks she got away with it completely. And I'm sitting there smiling and nodding like, yeah, funny how genetics work. And inside, I'm screaming because I'm screaming because I'm, I've been carrying this alone for 10 years, Luke. 10 years of being the only one who knows the truth.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, how do you know the truth if you haven't confirmed anything? You just have a suspicion and you're calling it the truth. Your wife might not know what you're thinking at all. Maybe she didn't do anything.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>Luke, she told me. Not directly, but she told me. This was back when our daughter was maybe six months old. We'd had some wine one night, and she started crying and said she needed to tell me something, and I stopped her. I literally put my hand up and said, I don't want to hear it. Whatever it is, we're good. We're moving forward. She tried twice more over the next year to bring it up, and both times, I shut it down because I didn't want it to be real if we said it out loud. So she thinks I don't know because I wouldn't let her tell me. But Luke, I know what she was trying to confess.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, maybe you think you know what she was trying to confess. You might not have any idea. Jesus, man. You're carrying around an awful big burden without verification here, just thinking what you think is the truth. And maybe it's not. Maybe you should ask her what she was trying to confess all those times and stop shutting her down any time she tries to confess. Wouldn't you rather know for real what's going on than just be upset for the rest of your life for no reason?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>You're making me feel crazy here, Luke. But maybe you're right. Maybe I am crazy. But what if I ask? And it's exactly what I think it is. What do I do then? Right now I get to be her dad With no asterisk, no question mark The second we say it out loud, everything changes My daughter's 13 She's got her whole life ahead of her She doesn't need to find out Her dad isn't her dad And her mom cheated And we've been lying to her for her entire existence</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well no, she doesn't need to find that out You don't have to tell her that I mean and if you're living your life Thinking that this is the case What's the difference if it's said out loud or not Only good can come of having the conversation, right? If you already think it's the truth, and then you find out it's the truth, nothing changes. But if you think it's the truth and you find out that she wanted to tell you something completely unrelated, that's a big burden off of your shoulders.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>Okay, okay, you're actually making sense. And I hate that, because I've built this whole thing in my head for a decade. And now you're telling me maybe I built it on nothing. But Luke hears what scares me about asking. to confess that she kissed someone. Just kissed, nothing more, and I open this whole can of worms and put the idea in her head That I think our daughter isn't mine. What if I'm about to ruin a good thing by digging when I should have just let sleeping dogs lie? Because right now, even with all this weight on carrying, we're happy.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you sound super happy. No, you should know for sure. Because if she does tell you that she just kissed someone, she's just going to laugh. She's just going to be like, oh my God, God, I can't believe that you thought that for the last 10 years. Any reasonable person would just laugh in that situation, not be upset with you for it. But I would recommend if your wife's trying to tell you something, you let her tell you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>You're right. God, you're right, and I've wasted 10 years being terrified of a conversation. I'm going to talk to her this weekend when our daughter's at the tournament in Deming.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think that's a great idea. And maybe she's just lucky. She got tall. Good for her. That is funny, though, that the whole situation is pretty funny. You're a funny guy, sir.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>Yeah, well, I don't feel funny. I feel like an idiot who's been white-knuckling a secret. That might not even be a secret. My wife's going to think I've lost my mind when I finally bring this up after shutting her down for a decade. Hey, Luke, can I ask you something, though? What if I'm right? What if I ask? And it is what I think it is. Do I just keep being dad like nothing happened? Or does everything fall apart?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what do you think? I don't think anything would have to change. I mean, you'd be operating as usual. You already believe it's the truth, so confirming that doesn't change anything. If you've decided to be her dad, you're her dad. And she doesn't know any other dad, right?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WENDELL</span><p>You love your kid, and you've been there for her whole life, and nothing changes. You're absolutely right. I've already made my peace with it in my head. I just never made my peace with it out loud. And she is my kid, Luke. She really is. I taught her how to throw a curveball. I'm the one who sits in the stands at every game.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WILL</span><p>I promise I'll call back after we talk. Thank you, man. Seriously. I've been carrying this around like a boulder on my back. And you just made me realize I could have put it down any time.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, man, it sounds like you wanted to carry the boulder on your back. Put it down. That's what I say. Put it down. Next up we've got Alia. Alia, welcome to the radio show. How can we help you today?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Hey, Luke. Okay, so I need you to settle something because my boyfriend is asleep and I am losing my mind over this. Everyone who says they can hear the difference between vinyl and digital is completely full of shit, right? Like it is scientifically impossible for the human ear to detect what they claim their hearing. And I have been arguing about this online for two hours and I need back up here.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Not always would be my answer for you. Sometimes you can definitely tell that what you're listening to is uh is vinyl um as opposed to sometimes you can absolutely tell that it's digital especially if there's any level of like digital clipping in it if the signal gets too loud then um vinyl never sounds like that so so it's a very obvious digital sound if things are mixed appropriately and with some of today's And stuff, you can make a digital recording sound very much like vinyl. But when people are talking about the vinyl sound, usually what they're referring to is noise. It's the scratches and the clicks and the pops that are inherently in the vinyl. And I think a lot of audio file type people, like the old school, people from the 70s, when they're saying it doesn't sound the same, it's because they're not listening to it through the old analog tubes used to be around back in the day. That imparted a very warm sort of distortion to the sound that people got very used to. It's really nice sounding to us. We like it a lot. So, I mean, they could play a vinyl record on some record player that they picked up at Best Buy a couple of years ago, and it's not going to have that same warmth characteristic that came from the old tubes. So it's a complicated question that you've got there. And I would say that, yeah, you can tell a difference, but not always, because we've come really far in replicating that vinyl sound.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Okay, but see, that's exactly what I'm saying, though. The noise, the scratches, the pops, the warmth from the tubes, that's all just distortion. It's imperfections. People are out here spending $3,000 on turntables and telling me they're can hear more detail. And it's like, no. You are hearing less detail because you added a bunch of random noise to it. You are paying money to make the sound worse and then convincing yourself it's better because you dropped all that cash and you need to justify it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I would agree with you in most instances. I think that's what most people are doing. But also having had some vintage style recording gear, I can tell when something's going through a nice, warm tool, tube, and it has the proper circuitry, right? I can tell the difference between high-end gear and sheep gear. And it becomes really apparent whenever the volume is pushed a little bit too loud. Digital recordings are very clean, very pristine, unless there's distortion added after the fact. And I think also another part of this, this debate that gets people confused is the words they use. You're saying that, you know, people say that they hear more detail in the vinyl and that that's just noise. But the noise is details. All those little scratches and the warmth that's added, the character that's added to the sound, that's detail and its noise. So the words that we use to describe the sounds can make the conversation more complex.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Okay. hold on. That is not what detail means. Detail is like being able to hear the individual strings on a guitar or the breath between vocal lines. Details information that was actually in the original recording. A scratch from dust on your record is not detail. It is interference. It is the opposite of detail.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I disagree with you, and that's what I'm saying. And people's, uh,! of what the words mean is very different, especially when it comes to audio stuff. When we're doing recording of music and stuff, we might use words like brassy or shiny or pristine presence. Those types of adjectives, descriptive words, mean the different things to different people. So it really helps in the music-making recording process when people are on the same wavelength about what those words mean to them because you could say, ah, it's a little bit muddy, and that might mean something completely different to me than it means to you. When you say the word detail, it just means, to me, it means any detail, not necessarily just the details that were in the original source raw input, but also the detail of the sounds that are introduced from the signal chain. It could be the detail coming from a fancy compressor. That's why there's more than one type of compressor because they all have different circuitry and different architecture. So they impart a different sound. And people pay a lot of money to pick the proper one for the sound that they're going for.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>All right, but we are not talking about the recording process here. We are talking about playback. Like when someone records an album, they make choices about compression and warmth and all that fine. But then, once that album exists, the job of your playback system is to reproduce what they made as accurately as possible. And vinyl cannot do that as accurately as digital, because it is a physical medium that degrades and kicks up noise. And the thing that is making me crazy is people act like this is subjective, like it is a matter of taste, but it is not.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, no, because what you're saying doesn't hold up. Because in order to hear the representation that was intended by the producer, the recording engineers, you would have to be in that same physical space listening on those same monitors with the same amount of people in the room, the same furniture, in the same places. Like, there's a lot going into it that it makes the sound variable. What you're listening to, whether you're listening through, either you're listening through earbuds or speakers or in your car, that's all going to sound very, very different. And not the original intention of the producer, probably. Not that many people have, you know, $20,000 studio monitors in a perfectly treated acoustic room to listen to this music on. Some people do. Some of those high-fi people do. But for the most part, that's not how people are listening to it. And it doesn't sound anything like it sounded in the recording booth or what the mixing mastering engineer produced for sale. Think about beats headphones a few years back when those came out. Those were not made to represent the sound as it was. They were really designed to boost the bass so that those little tiny speakers would sound bigger and fuller than they really physically could. And even, before that, there was the Bose wave speaker that did some crazy shit with bouncing around in a little sound chamber and stuff. But each of these different devices is trying to give things a different EQ curve and produce the sound in the way that they think is going to sound best, not necessarily most accurate.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Okay, yes, but that is my entire point. All of those things you just listed are making the sound less accurate. And people should know that is what they are doing. If you want to listen on beats headphones, because you like the extra bass, fine, do that.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But do not tell me that you are hearing the music better or more authentically. And same thing with vinyl.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Well, a word like better is subjective. So, I mean, you can't have a hardline approach to this. It is very subjective. People hear different. Everybody's ears have a different hearing curve. innumerable variables in how people hear music. And whatever it is that they like is what they like, but if you're going for accuracy, it's actually more about the room that you're in than anything else in the signal chain.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wait, hold on. The room matters more than the actual format you are playing the music on. That does not make sense. Like I get that acoustics matter. But you are telling me that whether or I am in a carpeted room or a hardwood room makes more difference than whether I am listening to a lossless. File versus a record that has been played 500 times and has dust in the grooves.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>In a lot of instances, yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you. I mean, think about if you were to take the same song from the same, you know, in the same format, either vinyl or your Bluetooth speaker or whatever it is, that you're really used to, and you play a song in a church. And then play that same song in your car from the same speaker. It's going to sound wildly different because the acoustics is an enormous part of this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Like there's lots of different ways to simulate that, but it's not the same thing as just adding bass or boosting the EQ in that range because if you do that, it's like a static change, right? You're lifting all of the those frequencies that are already there at the same time. When we're talking about adding warmth to something, it's adding additional frequencies that are moving around at different times, right? It's not just turning up the frequencies that are there. It's actually adding new content, new information into the sound.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Okay, wait. So now you are saying warmth is adding frequencies that were not there in the original recording, that is distortion.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Correct. You are literally describing harmonic distortion.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Yes. So when people say they like the warmth of vinyl, what they actually mean is they like the distortion that vinyl adds to the original recording.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Correct.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Which means they are not hearing what the artist intended. They are hearing a modified version with extra stuff added in.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, that's mostly true, except the artist may have intended for them to listen in that way, because most artists that have heard that sound like it too.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>But that is circular reasoning. The artist made the recording on equipment that was available at the time. And if they were making it today, with modern digital tools, they would make different choices. You cannot say the artist intended for distortion when distortion was just a limitation of the technology they had.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure you can. Because there's a lot, I mean, most bands will choose what studio they go to record in because of what particular gear is there. Because it adds that distortion that they like. Think of a band like Nirvana. Dave Grohl famously bought Sound City because he liked the distortion that the mixing console added. You can't get that sound other way. I mean, now you can through digital modeling and stuff like that. But, yeah, bands will still go to great lengths to get that old gear because they like that sound.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Okay, fine. So some artists specifically seek out that distortion because they like it. But that does not mean final is better for listening. That just means they made creative choices about what kind of distortion they wanted in the recording. But once the recording is done and mastered. Playing it back on vinyl adds another layer of distortion on top of what is already there. And that second layer is not intentional. It is just the format degrading the sound. So even if the artist wanted tube warmth or tape saturation or whatever in the studio, they did not ask for the vinyl playback to add more on top of it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>A lot of them do. A lot of them do. A lot of them specific i mean if they didn't want the vinyl distortion they wouldn't press to vinyl not today anyway so any artist that's pressing vinyl currently is doing it for that reason because they well i mean some of them are just doing it to make seventy five dollars for the vinyl record for the hipsters but some of them are are really into that sound and they want each individual record to sound slightly different because of the distortion that the vinyl is going to impart so there's no People that want the distortion, artists and listeners, want the distortion, and that's okay. But I do agree with you that vinyl doesn't sound better. I don't think it sounds better. It's not something that I would seek out myself. But I understand why people do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Wait, hold on. You have been arguing with me this whole time. And now you are saying you agree with me. You do not even think vinyl sounds better. Why did you call me out saying it has this magical warmth property if you agree that it is just distortion and preference?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because it does have that magical warmth property, but that doesn't mean that's something that I'm looking for. And I'm not arguing with you. I never told you that vinyl was better. I don't have any vinyl. I don't own a record player. But I know the sound that they're looking for. And I know that everybody goes to a lot of trouble to replicate hate that sound. And I know that you can't say it's better or not better because that is a very subjective thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Okay. So you called in at midnight to argue semantics with me about a format you do not even use or care about. You are sitting there organizing hand planes at one in the morning getting all worked up defending vinyl people. What are you are not even a vinyl person yourself? What is actually going on here, Alia?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, I think you're a psycho. Because this does not feel like it is really about whether warmth is real or not.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Wow, you seem like very confused. Maybe you should put down the bottle. You called me. You're Leah. I'm Luke. You're very, very confused.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And I think we've made the points here about the quality of audio. So we got to go to a break. So if you've got one more thing to say before we hang up, then say it now forever hold your peace.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Oh my God, I am so sorry, Luke. You are absolutely right. I got completely turned around there for a second. I guess so. I think I have been staring at these handplanes for too long, and my brain is fried. Look, my actual point is just that people need to stop acting superior about their audio equipment. When it is all just preference anyway, and I am sitting here arguing about it on the radio at one in the morning. Instead of dealing with the fact that my boyfriend will not talk to me about his mother pressuring us to get engaged. So maybe I am the one who needs to put down the bottle or pick one up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, it sounds like you better figure it out because you are a goddamn psycho, lady. I don't know what to tell you. Uh, if you don't know what to tell you. Uh, if you don't like vinyl, don't listen to it. But the people that do like vinyl, they're not wrong either. That's what I have to say about that. And now it's time for a word from our sponsors. Let's talk about mental health. Specifically, let's talk about brutal honesty, the therapy app that's tired of your shit. Unlike other apps with their calming voices and gentle affirmations, brutal honesty pairs you with an AI therapist that tells you what your friends are too nice to say. Did you try journaling about it? No, we're not doing that. Our algorithm analyzes your patterns and asks questions like, Why do you think you deserve to feel better when you don't even drink water? And is your anxiety real or did you just have four cold bruise on an empty stomach? Brutal honesty, because coddling yourself got you here. First session is free, but it will hurt your feelings. Use code grow up at checkout. Brutal honesty, the app that blocks itself if you don't do the work. All right, and we are back. Wow, I have to take a couple of breaths after that lady. Jesus. All right, next up we've got Luther. Luther, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUTHER</span><p>I spent four hours today watching my best friend pretend to run a consulting business from a Starbucks in Wilcox. He sat there in a $1,200 suit watching YouTube videos about Deep Sea Fish while I was three tables away. He has no idea I saw him.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What do you mean he was pretending?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUTHER</span><p>Derek's been telling me for two years about his clients, his meetings in Denver, how he's pulling in six figures doing business consulting. Today he told me he had back-to-back calls all afternoon, could not be interrupted. So I drove out there and watched him order five different coffee drinks and watch a 23-minute video about anglerfish. He did not open his laptop once. He just sat there in that suit scrolling on his phone.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that doesn't mean much. Maybe he was just taking a break, letting off some steam waiting for his meetings to start, or maybe he just didn't want to talk to you That doesn't mean he doesn't have a successful company. If he bought five coffee drinks, he's obviously making money somehow.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUTHER</span><p>The suits are rental.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I recognized it from when he was a grusman at his cousin's wedding last year. Same weird tight fit in the shoulders. And I know what his calendar looks like because he showed it to me two weeks ago, said Thursday afternoons are his power hours when he closes deals.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, all right. So your friend's lying to you about something. Why? Why do you think that might be?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>His dad owns half the commercial property in Benson. Derek's never had to work for anything real in his life. I think he needs people to believe he earned something on his own. So he invented a whole business that does not exist, and I just let him talk about it for two years like an idiot.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, whatever. Just let him keep talking about it if it makes him happy. Is he your buddy outside of that?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, he helped me rebuild the engine on my Ford three summers ago. Spent every weekend out at the yard with me in 100-degree heat. Bort all the beer, never asked for gas money. When my mum was sick, he drove her to Tucson for treatments twice a week for four months.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I mean, let him have his thing. needs to feel like people think that he's important, then let him feel that way. And if the opportunity comes up to give him shit about it, give him some shit about it, because that's what friends do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I sat there for four hours watching him. I drove 80 minutes round trip to spy on him at a Starbucks. That is not what friends do. I could have just asked him straight up if something was going on, but instead I went full surveillance because some part of me wanted to catch him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I mean, you do sound like a bit of a psycho here. But I hope Hopefully that's a one-time thing and it's not your normal personality.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I've been doing it for three weeks. Different coffee shops, the library and Wilcox, that sandwich place on Rex Allen Drive. I told myself I was just running errands in town, but I kept timing it so I'd be wherever he said he was having meetings. This is the first time I actually saw him do nothing, but I've been looking for it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's pretty crazy, man. And maybe you should talk to a therapist about that, because that's not the type of friend I want to have. People are entitled to their privacy and you should better things to do than that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I know. That's why I'm calling. I don't want to be that guy. But here's the thing. I like being that guy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you like being the guy that wastes full days of his life to spy on his friends? Why would you like that? That's reprehensible.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Because for four hours today, I got to feel smarter than him. Derek's the guy who always has it figured out. He's got the nice clothes. He talks about his business trips. People listen when he walks into a room. And I run a junkyard that barely</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, you don't have to continue running a junkyard forever. You can talk to him and maybe see if he can give you some help to improve your career, get you in a different industry. Maybe if that's important to you, there's plenty of other ways you could try to feel more important by actually being more important.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That's the problem. He can't help me. He doesn't actually do anything. I watched him order a caramel macchiato, watch a video about blobfish for 17 minutes, Watch something about octopuses, then get a phone call where he said, yeah, pushing the Denver meeting to next week, client requested it while he was literally sitting in a Starbucks in Wilcox, Arizona, scrolling through Sea Creature videos. There is no consulting firm.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but that doesn't mean he can't help you. He still probably knows some people in different circles than you. He's obviously got money and probably has an idea of how to keep that money, I would guess. So, I mean, if he has something that you want, ask him how he got it. I mean, I know you're going to say that he got it from his dad, but maybe his dad's got some work for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>His dad owns three dairy queens in Tucson. Derek works the register every other weekend and calls it consulting. I know, because his sister told me two years ago, and I've just been watching him lie about it ever since.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, okay, I get it. You're jealous of your friend because he's got money and you're spying on him like a psycho because you feel inadequate in the world. Do you have a question here? Is there something I can help you with?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>The question is, why do I feel better right now than I have to? have in months. I spent four hours in a Starbucks watching my friend watch fish videos, and I drove home feeling like I want something. That's not normal. I know that's not normal, but I can't stop doing it, and I don't actually want to stop.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, why do you feel better? It's probably because you feel less inferior to him now that you realize that he's not actually the big shot that he says he is. Why you need to feel that way, though? I can't explain. And why you don't want to stop doing what you're doing, I also. I also. I also can't explain. That shit sounds crazy, and you should stop.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're right. It is crazy. But here's what I can't figure out. If I tell him, I know, that conversation ends with me looking like the insane person who drove to Wilcox to spy on him. He gets to be the victim.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He is the victim. You're spying on him. He actually is a victim of your harassment right now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Fair point. So what am I supposed to do with this? Just keep showing up to barbecues and listening to him talk about client meetings that don't exist. Pretend I don't know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I mean, that would be the nice guy thing to do, probably, considering he drove your mother to her treatments for four months and helped you rebuild the engine in your car. But if you can't handle that, if it drives you too insane, then just tell him the truth. You don't have to tell him that you've been spying on him for months. That's a little bit crazy. But just say, I saw you watching Blowfish videos over there at the Starbucks when I was in town.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I helped him rebuild his engine. He didn't help me. And his mom's fine. you're thinking of someone else. But you're right about just saying, I saw him. That's the move. Except then he'll know I was watching him long enough to see what he was doing, and we're back to me being the weird one.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you are the weird one. So, um, you deserve that. And we're going to move on to the next caller, all right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Wait, one more thing. That caller earlier, Alia, talking about vinyl versus digital. I've been telling myself for two years that I'm just fact-checking Derek's stories because I care about truth and accuracy. Same thing she was doing. Turns out I'm just as full of shit as he is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, sir, you are. Okay. Now we're going to move on to Stacy. Stacey, welcome to the show. What's going on there?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I've been working night shifts at this clinic all week. And my supervisor just promoted her daughter over me, this girl I literally trained for six months. And the thing that's killing me is she's got a participation trophy sitting on her new desk. Like an actual trophy from some community college leadership program. And I cannot stop thinking about whether that's connected, you know. Like whether people who grew up getting trophies for just showing up never learned how to actually earn anything, so they just coast on other people's work and nobody calls it out because we are all supposed to celebrate effort over results now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that might be true, but also you don't know what her life is like or what she's been through or what she's learned. It's super annoying to get passed up for nepotism like that. I can certainly agree with you. And I also agree with you that most people are stupid and lazy. That's been my experience, but you still can't know what's gone on in their lives or what they've done or what they're good at.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>Okay, yeah, you're right. I don't know her whole story.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>But Luke, I do know that I spent six months teaching her how to do intake paperwork, how to talk to patients who come in scared or angry, how to handle the insurance verification system that crashes twice a shift. And now she's my supervisor making probably 15,000 more than me because her mom works upstairs. That part, I do know. And maybe she's great at other things, but the stuff she's doing now...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, I understand and can sympathize with you, and I think everybody's been in that situation at least once in their life. So, yeah, you just kind of got to deal with it, and if you're feeling underappreciated at your job, you might have to find a new job. Maybe one where your mother's the supervisor, and she can help you out climb in the ladder.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>Yeah. Well, my mom's been dead for eight years, so that's not happening. But okay, Maybe I need to find a new job. Except, my sister Crystal actually did that. She moved to Portland last year and quit her job at the hospital because her manager was toxic. And now she posts these long Instagram things about boundaries and unlearning resilience, which I'm pretty sure is just code for giving up when things get hard.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I can't tell you what those things mean, but they do seem pretty nonsensical and silly to me as well. out there doing what? What's her job? Is the Instagram her job?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>No. She works at some wellness center doing intake or reception or something, which is basically what she did here, except now she makes less money and pays three times the rent. But she's honoring her truth or whatever. And look, I'm happy she's happy, I guess. But part of me wonders if she just ran away because she never learned to stick things out when they suck.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know. I run away all the time too, so I can certainly identify with that. But there's lots of reasons somebody might want to move. If her boss was toxic and she doesn't mind taking a pay cut to live somewhere where she can, I don't know, feel more at home or enjoy a different experience or have the stores and social life that she likes around and work with people that she enjoys being around, then good for her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>Okay, but here's the thing that's actually bothering me. My kids' teacher told me last year that I was too focused on winning when I got upset score at soccer games. She said I was teaching my daughter that her worth is tied to performance.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, do you think that worth is tied to performance?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>I mean, yeah, kind of. Because what else is there? If you don't perform, if you don't show up and do the work better than the next person, then what? You just get participation trophies your whole life? And then someone's mom gives you a promotion. It's a good gig if you can get it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Right, exactly. And that's what I'm saying. This girl at work, the supervisor's daughter, she literally has a participation trophy on her desk. Well, you know what I say? Here's my advice for you. If you can't beat them, join them. So go get yourself involved in something and participate. And maybe you'll get some trophies too. If you don't like your job, quit it and go find a new one. And if you're not getting moved up the ladder in the way that you feel like you should, then take some classes and work harder than everybody else. financial compensation generally one way to do that is to perform better than everybody else so uh if you're there there's something else here too if you're the best at doing something something right and it's like low level menial stuff nobody wants to do even if you're capable of doing much more at a much higher level if you're the one that's going to get the little stupid niggly shit done then they're going to keep you on that right because nobody else wants to do it so you can actually be too good at your job. You can be too effective and keep yourself down that way. So I don't know what to tell you here. Be shittier at your job, I guess, or find a new one where you can excel.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>That actually makes sense. I never thought about it that way, but yeah, I'm the one who knows where everything is. I'm the one who fixes the scheduling screw-ups. I trained that girl on literally everything she's doing now. So maybe I made myself too useful right where I'm I am. But here's what really gets me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, we're going to have to go to a commercial break, so hurry up with what gets you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>My sister keeps posting about how I need to unlearn toxic resilience, and I keep wondering if she's actually onto something or if she just gave up. Like, is there actually a difference between knowing when to quit and just being soft?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, there is. You quit when you feel like you don't want to do it anymore. That's all. If your goals change, if you're no longer aligned with what you're doing, you don't stick to doing something just because that's what you do. That's stubbornness, and it's not the same thing as growth.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>Okay, but how do you know the difference? Because from where I'm standing, my sister left town posts these long captions about boundaries and self-care, and I'm still here working third shift covering for people. And maybe I'm the idiot, or maybe she just couldn't hack it. I genuinely don't know which one of us is doing it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>right well you said that she is happy and you are not so it sounds to me like she's the one that's doing it right and and you should maybe take a lesson</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">STACY</span><p>I didn't say she was happy I said she posts about boundaries that's different she could be just as miserable in Portland just with better lighting for her Instagram photos</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>okay well you did say she was happy actually and now it's time for us to go to a word from our sponsors</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. And here we go. We are back. Next up to the line, we've got a returning caller. I've seen this guy's name before. Here we've got Marvin. Marvin. Welcome back to the show. What's the update on your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>Hey, Luke. So Sharon pulled Maya out of school. Just did it. Didn't even tell me until after she'd already submitted the withdrawal paperwork. I found out when Maya came home on Tuesday with all her stuff from her locker in a garbage bag.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, it sounds like that decision's been made for you. Is that causing problems with you and your wife?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>Yeah, that's the thing, though. We had this massive blowout on Monday night, right? Like, really bad. And then tonight, another one.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're going to have to decide how much you want to hold on to this one, because it's been done. It sounds like you're already, you have to decide if you want to be right or you want to be happy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARVIN</span><p>I mean, I hear you. But here's what's actually happening. Maya's been home for three days now, and she's already back in her room all the time. Won't come out. Sharon's got this whole curriculum laid out, these workbooks. She's talking about socialization groups on Fridays. But Maya just sits there during the lesson staring at nothing. And Sharon keeps saying give it time. It's an adjustment period.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, give it some time. It is an adjustment period. And if you don't think it's going the way that you want it to get involved and see what you can do to encourage her to get the most out of it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Even if you don't agree with it, you can still be a positive influence and try to make it work. Or you can just get pissed off all the time and fight with your wife and, complain about how it's not how things should be done. But it doesn't sound like you're doing anybody any favors by doing that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Okay, but here's the thing. Technically, Sharon didn't even follow the proper withdrawal procedure. The school district has a specific process, and she just called the principal and said Maya wasn't coming back. No paperwork, no meeting, nothing. I looked it up, and now the school's calling, saying they can't just unenroll her like that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I don't think they can, just unenroll her like that. And if she misses too many days, then she's going to be in some kind of trouble. And I mean, if that's the case, if she just pulled her out for no reason, it sounds like maybe your wife might be the problem. And I don't really know how to help you there other than to, is she on any medication? Does she have any behavioral issues or something like that? Was she always like this?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>No, she's not. I mean, Sharon's not crazy or anything. She's actually really methodical usually. That's what's weird about this. She researched homeschooling for months. She's got binders full of stuff.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe you need to reframe this conversation instead of fighting over Maya being out of school and whether homeschooling is good or not, express concern for the way that she's acting about it because it seems out of character and it's not the right way to do things. So maybe if you approach this in a different way, you can get to the bottom of what's driving her, what's motivating this homeschool push, and maybe get her some help or at least understand what she's doing and help her yourself. Because if she really needs the kid to be out of school for whatever reason, you should know what that reason is. And I know it's difficult, but try and try and support her and help her do it the right way.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That actually makes sense, because when I try to bring up Maya's friends or the social stuff, Sharon just shuts down completely, like won't even engage.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It sounds like there's something going there that maybe you're not aware of, that some sort of trauma that happened to your wife that you don't understand, or Maya, that they don't want to tell you. There's something else going on there that isn't just education.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Wait, hold on. You think something happened to Maya at school? Like something specific? Because Sharon kept saying Maya was anxious, but Maya never actually said she didn't want to go to school.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, no, I'm not saying something specific happened to Maya. I'm saying of, you don't know. More likely, what I would think is something happened to your wife when she was in school that she's remembering now that had traumatized her and she's trying to protect Maya from that memory. But I don't know. I'm not a psychologist. I would just try and approach it from that way and figure out where the motivation is coming from.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Oh, yeah. Actually, Sharon's mom pulled her out of school in 10th grade. I forgot about that. She had to get her GED because her mom her the last two years, and Sharon always said it was the worst thing that ever happened to her. She missed prom, all of it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, something's going on and you need to get to the bottom of it and I don't have any advice for you or hear a specific question here. So I'm going to recommend that you to talk to your wife and figure out why this is happening, whether that's something that's going on with Sharon or something that's going on with Maya or just to understand the why, because it's not causing conflict at home, it's serious enough that it's causing conflict at home, right? And she's doing unreasonable stuff that's going to get the kid in trouble, and that's not okay. So if you care, then express care and find out what's going on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're right. I've been so focused on being right about the homeschooling thing that I didn't even think about why she's doing the exact thing she said ruined her teenage years. That's actually insane when you say it out loud.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it kind of is, and it makes you think that there's an extenuating circumstance there that isn't being articulated. so get to the bottom of what that is, all right, and give us a call back and let us know.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I will. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow, or actually, when she gets back. I really appreciate it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, buddy, good luck, too. Good luck, too. Hopefully this isn't her negatively when it doesn't need to. Next up, we've got Rocco. Rocko's another returning call. Welcome back to the show. What's going on? You got an update for us, buddy?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCCO</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm here. Thanks for taking my call again. I'm on my break at the Pizza Hut. Got about 15 minutes before I got to clock back in.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so what are you calling for?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCCO</span><p>So, uh, remember last time I called? I was all twisted up about getting stuck in that elevator with Linda and Dale, my ex-wife and her boyfriend? Well, I did what you said. I went home. I appreciated Sharon. I put that whole thing. I put that whole thing out of my mind.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Apparently you didn't if you're calling back into a radio show about it again.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCCO</span><p>Yeah, okay, fair point. So here's the thing. Last Sunday, my mom calls like she always does, and she's going on about how she ran into Linda at the grocery store. And Linda told her that she and Dale broke up, like three weeks ago.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Look, man, you got to figure out which one of these chicks you want to be with because it's not a good use of our time here on the radio show. So my advice to you is to decide and stop messing around with the other one.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCCO</span><p>Wait. No, no, no. I'm not messing around with anybody. I haven't even talked to Linda. I'm still with Sharon. Everything's fine there. I'm just saying when my mom told me that, something in my chest just...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, if you've got something to say to us, then say it, because I don't really have the time to drag it out of you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCCO</span><p>All right. All right. So I looked up Linda's number. I still had it in my phone from...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Good for you. Get a life. Next up we've got Brandy. Brandy. Welcome to the show. What's going on in your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>Luke, hey. So I got offered a partnership today, and I need to figure out if I'm about to become a business owner or just really good at ruining friendships. My best friend Cass wants to start a PI firm together. She's got the license and $60,000. I've got 20 years chasing down bail jumpers and a name that actually means something around here.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, congratulations. It sounds like an exciting opportunity, and I hope it works well for you. What's the problem? This sounds like sounds like something to be excited about.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>Yeah, see, that's what I keep telling myself. Except my sister Natalie already burned through two family businesses, like Sherman through Georgia. First one was a catering thing with our cousin. Second was some boutique situation with our aunt. And both times it was the same story. Money runs out. Friendships already dead. And Natalie's posting Instagram stories from Sedona, talking about fresh starts while everyone else is still paying off the debt. And here's the thing. Cass wants an answer by Saturday, like 48 hours, to decide if I'm going to risk the best friendship I've got on whether we can make it past here too without wanting to kill each other.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's tough when you're working with any friend, even if you're not going into business together, but just working together. It depends on your friendship and your personalities and how much this means to you. Maybe it's not the best use of your skills or time. But think about that. I mean, I can't tell you what's right or wrong there.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>Right. No, I get that. And honestly, the work part doesn't scare me. Like Cass and I have been talking about this hypothetically for years, we know how we'd split it. She handles the corporate stuff, background checks, insurance fraud.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>I take the skips and the messy domestic cases. Yeah, well, you also have to have the conversation about what's going to happen when this and write all that out in contracts. Who gets what? Are there any company vehicles? How is the friendship going to continue if the business goes south? Like, you can have those conversations before you even start and have them written down. And that way, nobody has any, um, any surprises when things go awry, if things go awry. Because they might also be wildly successful. You don't know unless you try.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. That's the smart move, I know.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>Get it all in writing, worst case scenario on paper before we even sign the lease. Cass actually brought that up. She's got a lawyer friend who does partnership agreements. But here's what's eating me. And I heard Stacy earlier talking about her sister and the toxic resilience thing. And I felt like she was reading my mail.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, we all see like a hundred of those things a day. So, I mean, she's reading everybody's mail.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>Right. But what got me was, am I being smart and careful? or am I just doing what I always do? Because Natalie left. She bailed on the family stuff, moved to Sedona, posts about boundaries and healing and all that, and everyone acts like she's the screw-up. But she's out there taking risks, starting over, and I'm still here in the same office I've worked out of for 15 years, tracking down the same dead beats, telling myself I'm being responsible. And now I've got an actual shot at something bigger, and my first instinct is to list all the ways it could in my face. Like, maybe Natalie is not the cautionary tale.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you can't look at what somebody else's life is like and compare yours to it because everything about you is different. Your work is different. Your personality is different. Your goals are different. Your dreams are different. So you have to decide for yourself. If you want to take that risk, are you a risk taker? Do you want to work for yourself? Some people don't. And that's okay. If you do, though, if it then go for it. What's the worst that could happen? Is you and your friend don't talk anymore and you have to get a new friend? It happens anyway. It could happen whether you go into business or not. You don't know. So you can't project the records of the future. You just have to make the best decision you can with the information that you have today. If you get along with her and it sounds like she's doing the right things and approaching this the right way, she's got the backing, she's got the money, she's got the lawyer. It doesn't sound like, like, like, she's a hack. So if this is something that you could see yourself getting behind, if you can, if you can picture yourself doing this years from now, then go for it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>You're right. And I can picture it. That's the thing that's been keeping me up. I can see the office. I can see our names on the door. I can see us actually making this work. Cass isn't Natalie and I'm not my aunt or my cousin who got burned. We've been friends for 12 years. We've seen each and all the stuff that actually tests people.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there you go. It sounds like you've got enough reasons to go for it. And the only reason to not go for it is the security in where you're at. And it's okay if you want to stay with that security where you get the same paycheck from a company that, you know, gives you set hours. Running your own company is a very different thing. And you have to be into it. You have to be all in or it's not going to work. So if you can picture yourself being all in, if that gets you excited and, uh, and, and, you have to be into it. You have to be all in. You have to be all in. And, uh, and, and, you have to, you have to be in. You have to, you. You have to You like your partner and she knows what she's doing. I don't see a problem either way. Whichever one makes you most excited, do that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>Yeah, you know what? You're right. The security thing is just fear dressed up as responsibility. I've been tracking skips for 20 years. Half those people are running from decisions they were too scared to make when it mattered. And here I am doing the same thing just with better excuses.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, Mazel tov, it sounds like you've got a new business opportunity. Congratulations. I hope it works out well for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>Thanks, Luke. I'm going to call the cast tomorrow morning. Not going to wait until Saturday, just going to tell her I'm in. Worst case, I end up back where I started. Best case, we build something that's actually ours.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Very good. Congratulations. I'm happy for you. And I hope that it is a resounding success. And ladies and gentlemen, thanks for tuning in again. This has been another great episode of Luke at the roost. And we'll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 3: Desire, Burnout, and Friendship Woes</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-02-06T08:31:33+00:00">February 6, 2026</time> · 20 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this late-night episode, callers open up about desire, workplace burnout, and complicated friendships. Jasmine struggles with feelings she cannot ignore, Rick is at his breaking point with a job that is slowly destroying him, and Dennis faces a friendship that has turned toxic. Luke offers his signature mix of real talk and empathy.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back. Here we are. It's Luke at the roost today is Thursday, February 5th. It's 11.34 p.m. Here in Anomas, New Mexico. Anomas, New Mexico. It's the hottest place you've never heard of. I'm here to take to take calls and give advice to some of the people that are out there struggling to sleep tonight. So first up, we've got it looks like Tanya on the line. Tanya, this is Luke. You've reached the show. What can we do for you today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>Hi, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. Um, I've been wanting to talk to just someone about this for a while. I keep having these really intense thoughts about one of my clients. She's selling her house after a divorce and I find myself thinking about her constantly. Like way beyond what's professional. I'll be sharing other properties and suddenly I'm wondering what she's doing, what she's wearing. I've never felt this way about another woman before. It's kind of freaking me out.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, that's all right. If you, uh, if you're having some thoughts that happens, what is this woman like that you're attracted to?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>She's just different, you know, she's maybe mid-forties, really confident, successful attorney. Has this way of looking at you that makes you feel like you're the only person in the room? God, I feel stupid even saying this out loud. I've dated men my whole life. I go out to bars all the time. But I've never felt this kind of pull toward someone. The other day during a show, she touched my arm while asking about the master bathroom. And I couldn't focus for the rest of the day. Is that normal to be this affected by someone?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I can't speak to what's normal and not normal. It's just what happens sometimes. What do you think would happen if you were to reveal your feelings to her?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>That's terrifying to even think about. She's a client, first of all, and I could totally destroy my professional reputation. Plus, I have no idea if she's even into women. Though sometimes I catch her looking at me in this way. But shit, I'm probably just seeing what I want to see right. And even if I did say something, what would I say? Hey, I know I'm supposed to be selling your house, but I can't stop thinking about you in ways that would definitely violate the real to code of ethics. I just die of embarrassment.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds to me like you'd get to get to work and get that house sold. And then there's no more client-seller relationship, right? So that opens you up. And if she rejects you at that time, so be it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>I mean, you're right. The house should close in about three weeks. But Luke, I'm so scared I'm reading this all wrong. Like last week she invited me for coffee after a showing to discuss the office. But we barely talked business at all. We spent an hour talking about travel and her divorce. And I don't know, maybe she's just lonely. And here I am, getting all worked up because God, I sound like a teenager with a crush. But I haven't felt this kind of electricity with anyone in years. My hands literally shake when I'm around her.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I say finished the job you've been paid to do and then talk to her afterwards and see where that goes. Maybe there's something, maybe there's not, but what's the worst that could happen?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>You're right. What's the worst that could happen? She says no. I feel like an idiot for a while and life goes on. But fuck, if she says yes, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. It's just last time we met she was wearing this blazer with nothing underneath. And I swear she knew exactly what she was doing to me. Three weeks feels like forever right now. I keep having these dreams about her that are, well, let's just say they're definitely not professional. Should I at least try dropping some hints before closing or just keep it totally business?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>My advice would be to keep it business while you're in business. And do whatever you have to do at home to take care of your own needs. And then when the business is concluded, you're open to explore that situation as deeply as you and her would like to.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">TANYA</span><p>God, yes, you're right. I need to keep it professional though I might need a very cold shower after every showing at this point. The thing is, I've never been with a woman before, but the way I feel when she's around, it's like my whole body is on fire. I've been taking care of myself almost every night thinking about her. Shit, sorry, that's probably too much information for radio. But thanks, Luke, you're right. Get through closing first then maybe ask her to dinner like a real dinner. Not a let's discuss paperwork dinner. At least then I'll know one way or the other instead of driving myself crazy with these fantasies.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, Tonya, it sounds like you know what you got to do. Thanks for the call. We appreciate hearing from you. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully you get that household. All right, folks, it's time to take a break to thank today's sponsor. Jam hospitality, the leader in Maple-based Marmalade. If your toast has been living in a bland little studio apartment of flavor, it's time to move into the luxury suite. We're talking Maple-based Marmalade. Plus, Marmalade-related products. Because apparently Jam hospitality asked, what if breakfast had a brand ecosystem? Go to www.myfavoretmarmalade.com and use code jammedinia for 15% off. That's jammedinia, like jammedinia. But legally distinct and emotionally complex. Jam hospitality, put it on toast, put it on pancakes, put it on your confidence. Tell him, Luke sent you. You're welcome. All right, well thanks to our sponsor there. And now let's get back to the phones. Hey Carla, Carla, you're on the line with us. What can we do for you tonight?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARLA</span><p>Hey there. Honestly, I just needed to vent a bit. I've been feeling really stuck lately and it's like I sacrificed a chunk of my life just to make someone else happy. It's eating at me, you know?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like that's what you're doing right now. If you're sick of giving away chunks of your life, cut it out and start doing what you want to do and, you know, take advantage of the moment that you have in front of you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARLA</span><p>Yeah, I hear you. I mean, it's just hard to flip that switch, right? I work in pharmaceutical sales and I spend so much time chasing targets and making sure everyone else is good that I sort of lost track of what makes me happy. Like I used to love being outdoors, going hiking. And now it feels like it's just a distant memory. No wonder I'm feeling this way. I'm just a little burned out.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, burnout definitely happens. That's a real thing. But what are you doing to combat the negative feelings? If you like to go outside and do hiking and stuff, you should do that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARLA</span><p>Honestly, I try to make time for it, but life just gets in the way, you know? I mean, I have plans to go hiking with some friends next weekend, but it always feels like an afterthought. I read this article about how sound in nature can really boost your mood and I thought, man, I need that in my life again. I just get wrapped up in work and forget what I actually enjoy. It's frustrating. I guess I have to push myself more.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you shouldn't really have to push yourself so much as, you know, just try. Just try a little bit. Go outside and enjoy nature, enjoy the birds singing to you and be grateful that you get another day here on this beautiful Earth.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARLA</span><p>You're right. I think I overthink everything sometimes. I mean, I get so caught up in work that I forget to appreciate the little things. Honestly, just stepping outside and breathing fresh air sounds simple, but can be powerful. I saw this thing about how even just pausing to listen to the sound of nature can change your mood. It's wild how much we overlook it. Maybe I do just need to take a step back and start small, like a walk around the block or checking out a new trail.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's just tough to remember to do that amid the chaos, you know? Well, you can do that right now instead of calling into a radio show and complaining about how you've lost yourself and you don't know what to do. You know exactly what to do. You just gotta go outside and do it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CARLA</span><p>You know, you're absolutely right. I called in to sort of air it out and it sounds like what I really need is action. Not just talk. I've been avoiding it, but yeah, I do know what I need to do. It's just a matter of stopping myself from getting bogged down by work stuff. Maybe I'll even take my hiking boots out tonight and plan out a route. It really does feel good to just lace up and hit the trail. Thanks for the reminder.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No problem. That's what we do here. Yeah, nature's a wonderful healer. And it's really what we're here to do is to just watch the world on furl in front of us. And the world is outside. Megan, Megan, welcome to the show. What can we do for you today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>Hey, thanks for having me. Honestly, I don't know how to say this. But I've been thinking a lot about this dream I had when I was younger, you know? I always wanted to get into music, but life happened and now I'm a dental hygienist. It's like I gave up on it all and it keeps haunting me, you know? Like every time I'm watching reality TV or scrolling through TikTok, I see people chasing their dreams. And I just feel this pang of regret. Like what the hell am I doing, right?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What are you doing? You're watching reality TV and scrolling through TikTok. That's an enormous waste of time. If you want to be creative, be creative and go create something.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>I totally get what you're saying. It is a waste of time, honestly. I mean, part of me just escapes into these shows because it's like a guilty pleasure. But another part of me is like, Megan, why the hell aren't you picking up a guitar or something? It's just that the dream feels so distant now. I get stuck in this loop of thinking I can't just jump back in. You know? I'd love to create something, but it all just feels overwhelming. Sometimes I wish I had that kick-in-the-pants motivation like those reality TV stars pursuing their passions.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, here's a kick-in-the-pants. Pick up your guitar and play something. And you don't have to have any aspirations to be famous or be on a world tour or anything like that. Just create something for the joy of creating. And I think you'll find yourself a lot happier.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>That's so true. I thought about that, actually. Just playing for the joy of it, instead of worrying about being a rock star or something. Honestly, that pressure makes it a little paralyzing. I mean, I remember as a kid just jamming out with friends and having a blast. I think I'm putting too much weight on it now, you know? I've got to find that freedom again. Maybe I just need to set aside some time, grab my guitar, and see where it takes me. No expectations. I mean, if Carla Hall can have fun mixing up recipes on her show, I can have a little fun making some music, right?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know what? You can play some music on your couch while you're watching Carla Hall mix up recipes. There's nothing to say that you have to be only making music. You don't have to set aside time to make music. It can be something that you play with on the side, as much or as little as you want.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MEGAN</span><p>Absolutely. That makes total sense. I don't have to treat it like a full-time job or anything. I could just chill on the couch, maybe play some chords while Carla is whipping up something delicious. It's like a fun way to merge two things I enjoy. I mean, it's all about creating that vibe, right? It might inspire me to be more spontaneous with my music again. I just need to remind myself that it's about having fun, not stressing about it. Thanks for pushing me to think like this.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're very welcome, Carla. Thanks for calling in. That was a decent call. Oh, sorry. I called you Carla. Your name was Megan. I'm sorry about that, Megan. Well, thank you for calling in, and yeah, our purpose on this Earth is to enjoy it. So do whatever it is that makes you enjoy it. Okay, we'll take one more call tonight. And who do we have in the line? It's Marcus. Marcus, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. My friend, what can we do for you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>Hey, thanks for having me. So I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Like, I realized I don't really have any solid friends. Just people who need favors or want something from me. You know that feeling? It's like, I don't even know who I'd call if I really needed someone. Just a bit? Lonely, I guess. How do you even start to change that?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I do know that feeling very well. I have a few very good friends that I've been close to for a long time. And if they're not around, you know, I don't talk to anybody. Because I don't want to meet new people for all the reasons you're just subscribed. You know, everybody I think most people that I've met want something. And it doesn't seem like they do, but in the back of their mind, they're waiting for an opportunity to get something from you. And I would rather not have that in my life. So I don't talk to that many people. So I understand where you're coming from. It can feel lonely. And I don't know if I'm right or wrong in that. But hopefully we can get through it together.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>Yeah, I totally get that. It's like you end up putting in all this effort to connect and then realize it's just transactional. I mean, I love my photography. But being a freelancer can feel isolating, especially when the people in your life seem more interested in the next dig or a free shoot than a real connection. I thought maybe I was overthinking it and honestly, it feels like it's all about what people can get. I've been diving into psychology stuff lately, trying to unpack why people are the way they are. You know. Like those articles I read about how sound and memory are connected really make you reflect on your experiences. It's wild. How much are surroundings and interactions shape us?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It is. It's very wild. I'd like to ask you when you meet a new person. What is your thought process? What are you trying to get out of them if anything? And if you look at yourself honestly, will you find that you're in the same type of person that they are? I mean, are your relationships transactional?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>That's a great question. Honestly, when I meet someone new, I try to keep it casual at first, just seeing if we vibe. But as I think about it, there's definitely a part of me that's a bit guarded. Like I can't help but wonder what they want from me. It's hard not to think about that. I mean, am I being too cynical? I want genuine connections. But I also don't want to get burned again. And yeah, maybe that makes me a bit transactional too. I end up sizing people up without even realizing it. Like I'm measuring the potential value of the relationship instead of just letting it flow naturally.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that sounds right on the money. I definitely do the same thing myself so I don't have a ton of advice for you in this regard. But it's good to hear that we are not alone. A lot of people think this way. And some of us do better with less people around. I think that's all there is to it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MARCUS</span><p>For sure, it's kind of comforting to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. It's just tough to navigate, you know? Sometimes I think maybe I would be better off just focusing on my work and letting friendships happen when they happen. But then I catch myself feeling lonely. Like I'll read things about how we need connections. Like even emotionally, it affects our mental health. But at the same time, I don't want to force that with people who might just end up wanting something from me. It's a weird balance to strike.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It is a weird balance to strike. And I haven't got there myself. But what I can recommend to you is reach out to the ones that have been in your life for a long time. The people that you know well, that you've been through some stuff with.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Everybody's got some friends from back in the day. The kids who grew up with her. You know whoever it might be. But keep in touch with a small circle and watch yourself out there. That makes sense.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>It's easy to get caught up in trying to make new friends. When I have those older connections that are still solid, even if they're not perfect, I guess I should invest more in those relationships. It's just sometimes I feel like I've lost touch over the years and reaching out feels daunting. But I know those people get me, you know? Maybe I can start small and just check in with a couple of them. I appreciate the reminder to keep it real with the people who actually matter. It's just a matter of breaking that initial ice again, I suppose.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure thing. It can be tough and I understand where you're coming from. But it's not that big of a deal to reach for the phone and call somebody that you haven't talked to in a long time. Or you know you can go out and meet new friends if that's your thing. Doesn't really matter. You know, if you can deal with loneliness, then you're one up on this world. Earl, Earl, I thought I was going to quit but we'll take this one more call. What's going on, Earl?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Hey, thanks for taking my call. So, I've been thinking a lot about friendships lately and I can't shake this feeling that one of my close buddies has been talking shit about me behind my back. I mean, I never really thought he would but some things just feel off, you know? It's eating at me. What do you think I should do?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What is it that he's saying behind your back and do you deserve it?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I'm not entirely sure what he's saying, but I've noticed some hints like he's been distant and I've called him making comments about me to other people. It's like he's trying to act like I'm the problem. As for deserving it, I don't really think I do. I've always tried to be a good friend but maybe there's something I'm missing. What do you think? Is it worth confronting him about it?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Absolutely. If this is a friend of yours and it's affecting your relationship then yeah, you should have that conversation and say, hey, things feel a little bit weird. I'd like to know what's going on and am I picking up, you know, the wrong vibe here or is there something we need to talk about?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I just worry about how it'll come off. You know how guys can be? Sometimes it feels like we're supposed to just shrug things off but if I'm picking up on something I should trust my gut, right? I mean, this guy has been a friend for years and I'd rather clear the air than let it fester. Have you ever had to have that kind of talk with a friend? How did it go?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, of course. I mean, I've had lots of talks like that with friends and more often than not, it goes very well. You know, people understand when you're talking to them on a, you know, personal human level when you're serious and when your emotional state is maybe not at its height. I think it can only do good either way no matter how he takes it. Like, if you bring this up to him and he's a dickhead about it, then whatever the guy is a dick. But if he's your friend and the relationship is meaningful, he will listen to you and do what he can to rectify the situation.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>That's a good point. If he's a true friend, he should be willing to listen and figure things out, right? I just need to approach it without coming off too aggressive. Maybe start by sharing how I feel and see where it goes. It's funny, I've heard similar advice in shows like The Drew Barrymore Show where they talk about communication in relationships. It's like, if we can't talk about the tough stuff, what's the point? Thanks for the push, I really appreciate it. I'll let you know how it goes.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, good luck with that. If you're watching The Drew Barrymore Show, you might be a dramatic individual, I don't know. But either way, this is the end of our show. Thank you for tuning in and we'll have another one tomorrow. Stay safe, get some sleep and be well.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 30: Boss Battles, Freelance Fears, and Finding Your Way</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-03-07T07:51:36+00:00">March 7, 2026</time> · 1 hr 3 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this episode, Murray struggles with an employee’s sudden withdrawal and questions his own leadership approach after a previous on-air discussion. Skeeter shares his journey into freelancing and confronting outdated workplace advice from older colleagues. Luke provides candid guidance on workplace dynamics, job security, and making bold professional transitions.</p>
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<section class="episode-transcript">
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, all right. We're back. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's your late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that money can buy. If you'd like to give us a call, the number is 208-439-58-53. That's 208-439 Luke. If you're not near a phone or you don't want to let somebody know that you're telling all your deepest. darkest secrets to a late night radio show host, you can send us an email anytime to submissions at Luke at the roost.com. Tonight is Friday, March 6th, and our phone lines are already lighting up, and we're going to go to our pal Murray. Murray, thanks for calling in. How can we help you tonight, sir?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Well, shoot, Luke. Hey man, good to be back. So listen, I had that meeting with the crew like we talked about last week, right? I sat everybody down, Danny included. I with all the new protocols. I explained why we needed them. I asked for their input on how to make things work better. Real vulnerable, real honest.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, good for you. And how did that work out?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>It worked out great for about four days. Danny showed up on time. The guys were cracking jokes again. We landed this residential job over in Scottsdale that's going to keep us busy through summer. I'm thinking, okay, we turned a corner here. This is exactly what we needed. Then yesterday, Danny just doesn't show up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and are you concerned about Danny? Is that like him? It doesn't sound like Danny was upset with you or anything. Did something happen to him? Is he sick? Have you talked to him since?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>That's the thing, Luke. I called him six times yesterday. Nothing. I'm thinking maybe he's in the hospital. Maybe something happened with his family. You know? So I drive over to his place last night after we wrap up. And his truck is in the driveway. Lights are on.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so he's home, or we assume he's home. Did you knock on the door or anything? I mean, he could have had a heart attack in there.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>I knocked. Yeah, I knocked for like five minutes. Finally, his girlfriend, Sheila, comes to the door, and she's got this look on her face like she doesn't want to be having this conversation. She tells me Danny's fine. He's just not feeling up to working right now. I'm like, what does that mean? Is he sick? And she goes, no. He's just taking some time to think about whether he wants to keep doing this.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You can't have that, right? If he doesn't want to work for you, that's fine. He doesn't have to work for you. I think this is an at-will employment state. And you can't have somebody just not showing up for work. So if you've got a can-danny, you've got a can-danny, whether he's your friend or not. You can't have him messing up the morale of the rest of your crew.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>only did that meeting because you called me out on your show, that I didn't actually mean any of it, that it was all just damage control because I got embarrassed on the radio.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's not true, though, is it? Because I think that came from an authentic place from you. You want to do a good job and you want to enjoy your work with your people. So it sounds like maybe Danny's just a little bit confused and, you know, he doesn't want to work for you. And that's okay. Just let him go.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Well, shoot, Luke, that's the thing that's eating me up. Part of me wonders if he's right. Like, would I have had that meeting if I hadn't called you? I was so dug in on firing him. And then I get on the air with you and suddenly on this enlightened boss who wants everybody's input.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, you should really probably split the difference there. You called me because you were conflicted about the situation. You weren't hell-bent on firing Danny or you wouldn't have called and asked about it, right? So some part of you was looking for guidance and you were unsure. you in one direction or another, that's fine. That doesn't mean it's not authentic, right? Because you came looking for advice. You didn't just fly off the seedy your pants. Is that, is that what is, is that the saying? The seat of your pants? Doesn't make much sense.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I did call you because I was torn up about it. It's one of those things where I knew firing him was the business decision, but it felt wrong in my gut, and I needed somebody to help me figure out which one to listen to. did feel right when we had it. The guys opened up, we talked through the protocols, Danny even admitted he'd been taking some stuff personally that wasn't meant that way.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I mean, you've got to get rid of Danny. If he's not going to show up, if he's not going to be reliable, then you can't have that person on your crew, right? But I don't think you've done anything wrong with addressing the rest of the team the way that you have. And it sounds like once you get rid of Danny, he's spiraling in negativity. right now and he's going to bring everybody else down. So get rid of Danny. He's not fulfilling his end of the employment agreement, right? So once he's gone, just continue being yourself. Be authentic. Be kind. But you are the boss and you have to, if somebody's not pulling their way, you've got to get rid of him.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>You know what, Luke? You're right. I've been so worried about whether I'm being genuine or not that I'm letting him hold the whole operation hostage. He's not showing up. He's bad-mouthing me to the crew, and now he's playing victim like I'm the one who wronged him. I can't keep bending over backwards for somebody who won't even pick up the phone when I call. It's one of those things where I wanted so badly for that meeting to fix everything. But you can't fix somebody who doesn't want to be fixed, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's right, and it sounds like you sort of fixed yourself. You fixed your own attitude about it, and I think that the crew will recognize that you mean it. You're being authentic with them. He doesn't want to accept that, but you can't keep going back and forth with him because everybody will see that and then, you know, they'll all fall in line with Danny and start not showing up for work and stuff. And you can't have that. So you've done everything you could. You tried to be a good employer and a good friend to Danny. And if he doesn't want to accept that, that's fine. Just let him go and he'll have to find somebody else to work for. And keep trying to be authentic with the rest of your crew. And they will see that you let Danny go. and they'll understand that this is a business. We're friends, but this is also a business. And you're the boss and you've got to come to work.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>Yeah, Luke, I needed to hear that. I've been so stuck on trying to save this friendship, but I forgot I've got eight other guys counting on me to keep this thing running. Vince has been breathing down my neck about the next contract. And I can't go to him and say, well, my best friend might come back to work when he feels like it. That's not how you run a company. I'm going to call Danny tomorrow morning, tell him, I need an answer by Monday, whether he's in or out, and if he's out. That's his choice. I tried. I really did.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, nobody could expect any more from you, right? I mean, even the fact that you're giving him one more chance is pretty generous on your part. So if he doesn't want to play ball, then that's okay. You don't have to have him playing ball. It seems like he's just going to be a pain in the ass and pull the rest of the crew down for as long as he's there. And that's all right. You've done your part. You tried your hardest, and you gave him. chances, and that's all that could be expected of you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MURRAY</span><p>You're absolutely right, Luke. I appreciate you letting me call back in. I was spiraling on this all week, thinking maybe I was being fake or whatever Danny's saying, but I know what I felt in that meeting. I know I meant it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I believe that you meant it too. And, you know, the crew knows it too. So you're doing the right thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Next up we've got Angie. Angie, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>My mom's dying and she wants me to have dinner with my brother tomorrow for her birthday. But I haven't talked to him in two years and I'm sitting here at the laundry mat trying to figure out if I'm being principled or just an asshole.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think if your mom's dying and that's her dying wish and you're even considering whether or not you should honor it. I think you're being an asshole. Yeah, you should go have dinner with your mom and your brother.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>Yeah, that's what I figured you'd say. And you're probably right. But here's the thing. My brother spent the last two years posting stuff about how people like my best friend shouldn't be allowed to use public bathrooms. He showed up to Thanksgiving 2022, wearing a shirt that said, let's go, Brandon. And when my mom asked him to change it, he told her she raised him to stand up for what he believes in.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It doesn't meant. It's not about him and you or anybody's views. This is a dinner about your mom. So you can put that stuff aside for one dinner. It's not really a big deal. And then if you don't want to talk to your brother after that, that's fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>You're right that it's about my mom. But the reason I stopped talking to Derek in the first place was because of something he said about my mom. He told her that her cancer was probably God's way of getting her attention because she voted for Biden. He said that</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It doesn't matter what he said or what he didn't say or what he did. If that's your mom's wish, I mean, yeah, he sounds like a real douchebag, but you can deal with it for a couple of hours to have dinner to satisfy your mom. That's all she wants in the world is to have dinner with her kids and you're her kids, so you can give her that. And just bite your tongue and get through it and it'll be fine. And that's the right thing to do for your mom.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>I know you're right. I called my mom back about an hour ago and told her I'd come. I'm driving up tomorrow morning. The thing I can't figure out is what happens when we're sitting there and Derek says something. Because he will.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you know, you can bite your tongue for a little while. It's just one dinner and you can make it through no matter what he says, no matter what he does, don't turn it into a fight because that's probably what he's looking for. And it's just going to make your mom's last days more miserable. So do it for Bite your tongue, let him spout off whatever bullshit he has to spout off. And then, you know, if you don't want to talk to him after that, that's fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>The last time I bit my tongue around Derek was at that Thanksgiving. I sat there for three hours while he talked about election fraud and crisis actors. And I didn't say anything because my mom kept looking at me with these pleading eyes. Then, on the drive home, I had to pull over on the side of the highway because I was shaking so hard I couldn't see straight. That was before she got sick. Now, there's maybe... six weeks left and I'm supposed to do it again except this time it matters more and I have less room to fuck it up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, just remember that your mom loves you both, no matter what either of you says or does, and this is about her and not you. And if he has to spout off, that's okay. Just let it go by you. Don't pay him any tension because attention's what he's looking for.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>You're right. I know you're right. The hospice nurse told my mom yesterday that she should start thinking about what she wants to say to people. final conversations. And my mom said all she wants is to see her kids eat cake together. That's it. Not some big reconciliation or apologies or anything. Just cake.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I think you can handle eating cake with anybody, even a douchebag. So just do it for your mom and then get out of there as soon as you can. That's all.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>Yeah, I can eat cake with a douchebag for my mom. I'm going to stop at the grocery store on the way up and get her those candles that relight themselves when you blow them out. She used to think those were the funniest thing in the world when we were kids. Thanks, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're welcome, and I'm sorry to hear about your mom. And I hope you get through the dinner okay without any explosions or catastrophes. And then you don't have to deal with it again after that. Next up, we've got Lamar. Lamar, thanks for calling the show. What's going on tonight, buddy?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAMAR</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. So I told my girlfriend my biggest fantasy tonight, and she went completely silent like 10 seconds and then just said she needed to think and hung up. I am honestly not even kidding when I say I might have just ended a six-month relationship because I was stupid enough to be honest when she asked me what I really wanted.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I've been in that position before too. I'm pretty sure it blew up my marriage. So sometimes you can't, you can't be that honest with people or it doesn't go well. What was the fantasy? Are you okay with telling us what you asked for on the air?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAMAR</span><p>Yeah, I mean, it's not like it's illegal or anything, it's just the latex thing. Like I'm into latex, the whole outfit, the look, all of it. And she asked me point blank what my biggest fantasy was, and I have been driving four hours each way to Tucson every other weekend for six months. So I figured we were at the point where I could actually tell her the truth.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that seems like an odd thing for her to hang up on you for. Laytex isn't, out of all the fetishes and weird shit you could be into, latex is pretty mild, so I'm not sure why she's reacting that way. If she's going to give you a hard time, that you're into latex? I think maybe she's not the right woman for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAMAR</span><p>That is exactly what I keep telling myself. But honestly, the silence is what is killing me. Like if she had laughed or said no way or even gotten mad, I could deal with that. But she just went quiet and I could hear the wind rattling her window. And then she said she needed to think. And that was it. And now I am sitting here in the break room at work on a Friday night that should be dead easy. And I keep checking my phone like an idiot. I have been so careful about this for years, Luke. do not tell people.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you should be able to tell people, especially the person that you're with, what you're into. I think, I don't know. I've never been a woman, so I don't know how they think. But my guess is from just previous relationships that when you share fantasies and stuff like that, what they really want to hear is you're my fantasy. Everything about you is my fantasy. Whatever it is that you do, that's my fantasy. And if you deviate from that, it's a problem.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAMAR</span><p>That makes a lot of sense because she has asked me this question twice before and both times I deflected or made it about her and this time I actually answered it. Like she specifically said she wanted to know the real thing, not just the safe answer and I believed her. But maybe that was a test I just failed. The thing is, I am tired of hiding it, Luke. I ran into this guy Danny Vasquez at the Walmart in Deming last month. Someone I knew from way back and he saw me buying something and I could tell he clocked what it was for and I felt like I was going to throw up right there in the checkout line.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Nah, you don't have to be embarrassed about that kind of stuff, man. I mean, everybody's into some weird shit, and that's just a part of the human experience. Being able to talk to people about that or live with it confidently is part of what confidence is, right? That's a part of you. Wherever it came from, it doesn't really matter. It's not hurting anybody. It's not difficult to fulfill. If you like latex, you like latex, and there's nothing wrong with that.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Unless, you know, maybe she's allergic to latex, then I could see an issue. But even then, you should be able to talk about it and come up with some sort of alternative. I mean, there are alternatives to latex that have the same characteristics.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, she is not allergic, at least not that she has ever mentioned. And I appreciate you saying that, because I have been treating this like it is some shameful secret for eight years now, just keeping it separate from everything else. I have got a whole set up at home that nobody knows about. I do not bring anyone over. And the one time I tried to meet someone online who was into the same thing it felt so fake and transactional that I never did it again. So when I met her and things were actually good, like really good, I thought maybe this could be the person I could actually be myself with. But now I am thinking maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut and kept driving to Tucson and kept pretending that vanilla is all I need.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I don't think so. I think you did the right thing and you should be able to be honest with your partner about what you're into and any fetishes and stuff like that. something like latex, which is really, I mean, I don't understand why that would bother somebody. I'm not into latex myself, but I know that it's a huge fetish and lots of people are into latex and there's nothing wrong with that at all. It's not that, um, disturbing, I don't think, as on the fetish scale. I mean, I'm into some weird shit and latex wouldn't even make the mark there. So I don't know why she's being all weird about it. But it sounds like, like you need to find yourself somebody else that you can be yourself with. Because somebody that's going to make you feel bad about who you are and what you want is not the ideal partner.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You are probably right, but the problem is, I am 34 years old, and I have been bouncing at the same club for eight years. And I live in a town where everyone knows everyone. And this was the first real relationship I have had in three years. And she is smart, Luke, like she works for one of those non-profits in Tucson, helping homeless people get connected with services. and she actually laughs at my jokes about reloading brass and gun stuff that most people think is boring as hell. So the idea of just letting this go because I could not keep my mouth shut for one more conversation is eating me alive right now. Maybe I should have just lied. Maybe I should call her back and tell her I was joking or testing her or something.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I don't think so because it's not one more conversation. That's a part of who you are and what you want and a partner. So this conversation could come up a thousand more times for the rest of your life. with denying a part of yourself for the rest of your life potentially because it might make somebody look at you weird, then I mean, you can do that, but I don't think that's the way that you should live your life. And I don't think it's a healthy relationship.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You are right. God, you are right. And I know you are right, but it does not make it any easier sitting here. The thing is, I heard Angie earlier talking about her brother and the birthday dinner. And I had almost the exact same thing happened with my own family two years ago. My sister wanted me at was going to be there, the one who makes comments about everything. And I just did not go because I could not deal with pretending to be someone I am not for six hours. And now my sister barely talks to me. So I have already lost people by hiding. And now I might lose someone by being honest. And I do not know which one is worse, Luke.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what I have to say about that is you should not hide and you should not be afraid to tell the truth. And you can be confident in yourself, no matter who you are. No matter who you're around. And if other people don't like that for whatever reason, fuck them. That's all. You don't need them in your life. Surround yourself with people that are going to accept you for who you are, who you feel open enough to discuss what's going on in your head. And if it bothers people and they don't want to be around you, let them go. There's plenty of people out there in this world that will accept you for who you are. And hiding or denying the those portions of yourself is no way to live.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You know what, Luke? I needed to hear that. I really did. Because I have spent so much time worrying about what people think that I forgot there are actually people out there who would not care. And if she cannot handle this one thing about me, then maybe she is not the person I thought she was.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I mean, maybe talk to her and figure out why she had such a reaction to such a relatively mild thing. And if you can work around it, and if you want to work around it. Because you might ask her, you know, why she reacted that way and find out that, you know, something happened to her. She was abused by somebody in latex or something and it brought back memories. She doesn't want to deal with. Like, there might be a reason. But probably she just wanted you to say your fantasy was her, not latex. And, you know, maybe if she doesn't like latex or can't wear latex, and that's important to you both talk to her about maybe going to latex club. that are into latex. So you can meet people that are into the same thing as you, either to play with them or to just be surrounded by people that are like-minded. And if you guys can work that out in a way that works for you both great. And if not, then, you know, find another girlfriend. That's all.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>That is actually a really good point about asking her why she reacted that way instead of just assuming. I did not even think about that because I was so busy panicking about what I said that I did not consider what might be going on for her. And honestly, the idea of going to some kind of community thing, even if she is not into it herself but understands that I need it, that would be something. I do not even know if there is anything like that around here, but Tucson is big enough that there might be. I just need to actually have the conversation instead of sitting here in the break room at two in the morning catastrophizing about it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and if that conversation is not an adult conversation that you can have with a peer and, you know, be civil and get across what you want to get across while still remaining true to yourself and what you want, but not pushing it on her, then, I mean, if you can't have that conversation, she's not the right partner. But I would suggest that you check out sites like vetlife.com. They have all sorts of groups for different fetishes and stuff that you might be into. And that's where you're going to find the other people that are in those communities. And you're in Tucson. There's definitely latex people in Tucson. No doubt about it. So if that's the type of thing you're looking for, you can absolutely find it. You know, fetish festivals that happen usually once a year in the cities. And you can go to those and there will be a latex corner and there will be an electro stem corner and bondage and all those things are pretty widely accepted in the right crowds.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, I have been on FEP Life before. That is actually where I tried to meet someone a few years back and it felt so weird and forced that I gave up on it. But maybe I was approaching it wrong. Maybe I was approaching it wrong. Maybe I was looking for a relationship when I should have just been looking for community first. And you are right about Tucson. There has got to be something there. I think part of my problem is I have been so isolated with this for so long that I forgot there are actual real people who do not think this is some freakish thing. I have been treating it like some dark secret when really it is just a part of who I am and there are plenty of people who would not bat an eye at it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, man, good luck. Don't feel weird and don't worry about what anybody else thinks of you. Because fuck them all. That's what I say. Fuck them all. And now it's time for a word from our sponsors. All right. I'm going to read this ad exactly as they sent it to me. And I want you to know that I have concerns. Phantom Ranch Wellness wants you to know that your gut health starts, and I'm reading this directly from the card now, from the other end. They make an at-home coffee enema kit. It comes in a box that says wellness inside, on the outside, which I think we can agree is doing a lot of the heavy lifting. The kit includes a medical grade silicone bag, organic single-origin coffee, because apparently the coffee you put in your, that that coffee needs to be single origin, instruction booklet and a com card with a QR code to a guided meditation for during. During. There's a guided meditation for during. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your body. That's between you and your bathroom and whatever God you answer to. I will say the reviews are disturbingly positive. Four and a half stars. One guy said it has changed his morning routine, which I believe because it would absolutely change your morning routine. Phantom Ranch Wellness I read the ad. I didn't endorse it. All right, we're back. And let's see who's next here on the old caller line. We've got Lucille. Lucille, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Hey, Luke. So I've got this neighbor, Dennis. And for the past three days, every time I hit my garage door opener, his door opens instead of mine. Started after that transformer blue during the windstorm. At first, it was just weird. You know, kind of funny even. But this morning, I get home and he's standing in my driveway with his arms crossed, wanting to know why I've been checking his property at odd hours. And the thing is, I work strange hours.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Hey, have we talked about this before? Because I remember a similar call not too long ago when the power went out and somebody's garage door opener was opening the wrong door and it was a big problem. I think that that issue has been resolved in most modern garage doors. And they resolved it by using a rotating, code instead of the standard infrared blaster that they used to have in the 90s. So maybe it's time to upgrade your garage door opener device with one of those rotating codes. And, you know, just explain the situation to them. It's not that big a deal.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>No, that wasn't me. And yeah, I get that it's probably just the frequency thing. But the problem is I can't really explain my hours to Dennis. Like, I work in bail bonds, who only surfaces around three in the morning. So I'm coming and going at weird times. And when Dennis is standing there asking me pointed questions about my schedule, I can't exactly say, oh, I'm out hunting down people who jumped bail. That makes it sound worse, you know? So I'm just standing there saying, I can't get into the specifics of my work schedule, which makes me sound guilty as hell.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that does kind of make you sound guilty, but you don't have to address that conversation with your work schedule. Just tell them, hey, my garage job. door opener is opening your door. I'm not doing it intentionally, and I'm going to get myself a new garage door opener so that doesn't happen anymore. And that's all. That's the end of the conversation. Explain to him that you're not doing it on purpose. I mean, you can show him right in your driveway if you hit the button in it opens his garage door. And then do your best to get that changed as quickly as possible, and the problem is solved.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Yeah, but see, that's where it gets complicated, because I've been using it. Like once I realized his door, was opening. I started parking in his garage instead of mine when I get back at three in the morning. His garage is closer to my back door and he's got that motion sensor light that doesn't work. So nobody sees me come and go. I've been doing it for three days now. And this morning when he confronted me, I didn't tell him that part.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, cut the shit. I mean, don't do that. That's not right. And that does make you seem like a psycho at three in the morning parking in somebody else. What are you thinking? No, don't do that. Parking your own garage. Or park outside your garage until you can fix your garage door opener. That's the right answer.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>I know, I know, you're right. It's just, look, I've been doing this job for 12 years and I've gotten real good at finding the path of least resistance, you know? Lease noise, least attention. And his garage was just sitting there, dark, and it felt like the practical solution at the time.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, it's not a solution. It's trespassing, and don't do it anymore, and your problem will be solved, right? And I understand that you're a badass and you hunt down bail bond skips and all that. And that's super cool. But you're not a top secret federal agent and you don't need the cover of darkness. You can come home when it's time to come home and stop making more of it than it really is.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>You're not wrong. I think maybe I've been in this work too long, where everything becomes about not being noticed. But here's the other thing. And this is what's really bothering me. Dennis has been leaving his garage light on. and off all night since yesterday. Like flicking it on and off.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, whatever. That's fine for Dennis. It's his light. He can turn it on and off when he wants. Stop parking in his garage and get your garage door opener fixed. That's my advice for you. Do you have anything else to say? Because we're going to move on to the next caller.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>No, that's it. You're right. I'll get it fixed and stop being weird. Thanks, Luke.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No problem. That's my advice for everybody. Stop being weird. Just cut it out with the being weird shit. Jesus, you people are strange. Everybody that's called so far except Lamar with his latex fetish is a weirdo. Next up, we've got Ricky. Ricky, what's going on? What makes you so weird tonight?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICKY</span><p>Luke? Okay, so I just got out of a youth group, and one of the kids spent 20 minutes trying to convince everyone that vinyl records sound better than digital music. Because they have this magical warp that Spotify can't capture. And I need you to tell me I'm not losing my mind here, because this is complete nonsense. right? Like, I've been sitting in the church parking lot for an hour reading audio engineering forums on my phone, and I'm about ready to drive back in there and give this kid a physics lesson. It's placebo effect, Luke.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's people convincing themselves they hear something that literally is not there. And honestly, I think it's the same psychology as people who still defend the last season of Game of Thrones. They spent money on the records. They spent money on the turntable. So their brain has to justify it by inventing this warm magical quality that does not exist in objective reality. exists in objective reality. And we just had a long conversation about this just a couple of days ago. So I recommend that you go back and listen to the previous episodes because I'm not going to take the time to explain it all over again. Do you have another question? Because this one's already been addressed at infinitum.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICKY</span><p>Wait, hold on. You actually think vinyl sounds better? Luke, I'm being serious here. I listened to that episode and you were talking about the ritual and the experience, which Fine, I get that, but you cannot honestly tell me that the sound waves coming off a piece of plastic with grooves cut into it are superior to a lossless digital file.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Look, go back and listen to that episode. I'm not going to get into this whole thing again. I never said that vinyl sounds better. It can sound different. And the circuitry that it was used by a lot of audio files to listen to music imparts a warmth that is objectively real. So, again, I don't want to rehash this over and over and over again. But I would not say that vinyl sounds better. It does sound different and it has a character and it is real. And if people want to listen to vinyl, good for them. Otherwise, I'm not going to continue this conversation with you. All right. Do you have something else you'd like to talk about?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RICKY</span><p>Okay, okay, I hear you. I'll go back and listen to it again. But honestly, this is what's really bugging me. This kid, 17 years old, like he's the next Anthony Fantano. And he's not even talking about the circuitry or the character or any of that. He's just repeating stuff he read on Reddit like it makes him some kind of audiophile expert. And everyone in the youth group is nodding along like he just revealed the secrets of the universe.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, you have a good night. I'm not talking about this again. At least not for a long, long time. If you're bothered by what kind of music the kids in the youth group are listening to, then you got to, I don't know, talk to your therapist or figure out why that matters to you because it really shouldn't be such a big deal in your life. Next up, we've got Silas. Silas, welcome back to the show. What's going on at the Wellspring, buddy? Give us an update.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>Brother, I appreciate you having me back. So Marcus came back. He showed up three days ago with Kara, his wife. They drove in together, middle of the afternoon, and they want to rejoin the community.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, the last time we spoke, only Kara had left. She had gone somewhere and was working at a bank or something, and Marcus stayed behind. So I was unaware that Marcus had left your little community. But are you going to welcome them back?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>You're right. You're right. I misspoke. Marcus never left. Kara left after the unbinding. Went to stay with her sister in Los Cruces. Got that bank job.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, congratulations on your returning member of the flock. How's it going over there?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>Well, that's the thing, brother. I want to welcome them back. I really do. But Teresa, my wife, she pulled me aside after they showed up and she said, we need to have a serious conversation about it. And the more I think about it, something about it just doesn't sit right with her.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you are the leader, right? So you get to choose who stays and who goes. And if you don't want them in the community, then you can say that. But I'm not sure why. I mean, if somebody just had a change of heart and took off for a little while for a little rumspringer, and had to find themselves and realize, well, you know, why they wanted to come back to the community, then they should be just more dedicated to the cause, I would think.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>You would think that, and that's exactly what I said to Teresa. But she pointed out something I hadn't really considered. Kara came back, but she didn't come back because she missed the community. Or because she found clarity out there in Los Cruces. She came back because Marcus gave her an ultimatum. He told her either she comes back back to the wellspring, or he's leaving with her. And he made it clear he wasn't going to leave. So Kara chose to come back to keep her marriage, not because she actually wants to be here.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so how are you going to handle that? You're going to let them back in, or just have you decided that they're not a good fit for your community? That's within your power to control, right? If you don't want them there, you can just say, sorry, we're full.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>I mean, yeah, I could do that. I'm the founder. I guide the community. But brother, that's not how we operate at the Wellspring. We don't turn people away. We don't have a bouncer at the gate checking credentials.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So what's your question for me then, Silas? It sounds like you're in a quandary. You have to let them in because that's how you operate at the Wellspring, but you don't want to because there is an ultimatum involved. What is it that you're looking for help with here?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>The question is whether I'm being a hypocrite. Because Teresa said something to me that really landed. She said, Silas, you preach radical honesty and shedding the false self, but you're about to let someone back in who's wearing the biggest mask of all. And she's right. If Kara's here because she's afraid of losing Marcus, not because she believes in what we're doing, then she's living a lie. And the more I think about it, doesn't that poison the whole thing?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I would think that it would poison the whole thing. Or it could poison the whole thing. Or it could poison the whole thing because if she's unhappy in your community, she's going to, you know, have friends there and spread discontent around your members. And that doesn't sound like something that you want in the Wellspring. But it's your community, right? It's not my place to tell you what you should do. I don't know that you're being a hypocrite. Maybe you could use your influence to convince Kara or to is where she wants to be. I don't really know how all that works.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>That's what I've been trying to do, Luke. I sat down with her yesterday, just the two of us, and I asked her point blank. Kara, why are you here? And she looked me right in the eye and said, because Marcus is here. Not because of the current, not because of the community, not because she found something at the Wellspring that she couldn't find anywhere else. Just Marcus. And then she said something that really shook me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What did she say that shook you?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>She said, Silas, I never believed in any of this. I came here because Marcus wanted to, and I stayed because he stayed. And now I'm back because he won't leave. And then she asked me, how many other people here are just like me, going through the motions because someone they love believes. And brother, that question has been hours now.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because what if she's right? What if she is right? Does it matter that much? Whatever brings someone to the wellspring brings them there and they are then exposed to the current and your way of life. And if it's strong enough, you should be able to attract them as opposed to promoting to them, right? So attraction over promotion. If your message is strong enough, extra attention, you can help her see that she does want to be there. Or, you know, maybe she doesn't want to be there. And if she doesn't want to be there, then, then, uh, then let her go. If she won't leave because Marcus won't leave, sit down and talk to Marcus and see, uh, see what his thoughts on the matter are.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>I did that too. I talked to Marcus this morning. And Marcus, he's all in, Luke. He told me the Wellspring saved his life that before he came here, he was drowning in materialism.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, buddy. Good luck. Give us a call back. Let us know how the renewal all shakes out, okay? And good luck to you with Kara and Marcus. Sounds like you're doing great work down there. Next up on the caller line here, we've got Gina. Gina, welcome to the show. Happy Friday night to you. What's going on in your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting in my bathroom right now with the door locked because I just got this text from my sister. I'm about to lose my mind. She's in Albuquerque running herself into the ground at this tech startup. Just sent me a selfie at midnight with no days off and I'm supposed to be impressed.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so what's your issue here? Your sister's overworking herself with her tech startup? Maybe that's what she wants to do. She's proud of herself for working, uh, for burning the candle at both ends, as they say. I've done it myself at times, quite a few times. What's wrong with that?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>What's wrong is everyone back home treats her like she's some kind of hero while her marriage is falling apart in real time. Her husband left three weeks ago, Luke. He's staying with his brother in Los Cruces because she hasn't been home before 10 at night in six months. And my mom's on the phone with me going, well, she's building something important. You know how hard it is to start a business? I've been a dental hygienist for 12 years.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, working as a dental hygienist is not the same as starting a business. And you can understand where somebody that's building something, maybe that's more important to her than her marriage. And that's her choice. She's her own person. And she gets to choose what she values. If her husband isn't okay with what she's decided to focus her life on right now, then, I mean, maybe it's time for them to split up. That's not on you. That's not your call. If she's happy, great.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>She's not happy, Luke. That's the thing. I was out there two months ago when she cried in my car for 40 minutes about how she doesn't know who she is anymore. She said she can't remember the last time she felt anything.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, why are you calling me instead of her then? If she's the one that needs the advice, there's nothing I can tell you that's going to help her.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>Because I've tried talking to her and she shut me down. She said I wouldn't understand because I chose comfort over ambition. Those were her actual words. I just bought 10 acres outside Lordsburg with my own savings, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and there's really nothing more comfortable than 10 acres outside Lordsburg. So here's my advice for you. Give your sister our number here. It's 208. 3-9, Luke, and have her give us a call. And we'll get to the bottom of what she's doing, what she's feeling, and how she can best navigate the challenges of starting a business and being in a relationship.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>You're not hearing me? I don't need you to fix my sister. I need to know why I'm supposed to feel like a failure because I'm not destroying myself. I make $72,000 a year cleaning teeth.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, good for you. You don't have to feel like a failure if you don't feel like a failure. Nobody can call somebody a failure, right? Because all we have to do to not be a failure is stay alive for another day. If you stayed alive, if you got up this morning, you're not a failure. Congratulations.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>That's easy to say when nobody's looking at you like you settled. My boyfriend's out there yelling at his fantasy football team right now, and my sisters in Albuquerque getting divorce papers served, and somehow she's the one everyone's worried about. She's the one doing something with her life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You don't have to worry about validation from other people. No matter who that is, right? If you're comfortable with your life, you're doing your thing, you got your job on lockdown, you're happy with your 72 grand as a dental hygienist, and you've got your land outside Lordsburg. Everything's going well for you. Don't worry about what other people think about your life. It's not important. Let them worry about their own lives, all right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">GINA</span><p>But I'm not happy, Luke. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I locked myself in my bathroom with a glass of wine because I can't stand listening to him out there one more night. I bought that land six months ago, and I haven't done a single thing with it because every time I think about actually building something out there, I feel like I'm just going to end up like him. Comfortable.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You don't have to build anything on it. You don't have to use it at all. You can just hold it and hope that someday a Walmart comes in and raises the value. You can be a land tycoon if you want. You can be anything you want to be. So your happiness is completely decided by you. If you want to be happy, be happy. If you're not happy, change the things in your life that are making you unhappy. If you don't feel like you're moving forward in life, then make you're making you.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Those are the three options.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>I looked him up, found him on Facebook in about 30 seconds.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>Lives over in Marana now, works at some HVAC company. I could just drive it over there tomorrow. Hand it to him. Tell him to fix his mail situation.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You could do that, but you can't be sure that's the correct David Herrera. That's not a particularly unique name. There could be more than one. He could have died. You don't know. I don't think you should do that, but, I mean, I'm not here to tell you what to do.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>You're right. I didn't think about that. There were actually four David Herreras in Tucson when I searched. I just picked the one that looked about the right age and had the Havak thing because the previous owner left a bunch of tools in the shed.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I mean, I would go with one of my three options, but that's just me. You're your own person and you can do whatever you want with the mail. I'm sorry you're getting mail that doesn't belong to you. That's a pain in the ass, but there's not much I can do about that for you from here.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHARLENE</span><p>Yeah, I know. I guess I just thought. I don't know what I thought. That there was some other options. It just feels weird, having someone's money sitting in my trailer and doing nothing about it, when I could probably get it to him.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He probably could, but he could also probably update his fucking mailing address. And if he's not doing that, and he's got money coming to him, well, it's his own fault. That's what I say. But good luck to you and your mail carriers and David Herrera, and I hope that that situation works out, and you can go back to enjoying just your own in your mailbox. Next up, we're going to take one more call here. We've got Skeeter on the line. Skeeter, you're going to be our last call tonight. Do you have anything going on in your life you like to talk about?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SKEETER</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, thanks for taking my call. I'm sitting here looking at my tax returns, and I just made $6,800 this month doing freelance web development, which is almost double what I was making at my city a job. And my wife keeps reminding me what my grandpa said at Sunday dinner, which is that only a fool trades a sure thing for a maybe when there's a sick kid in the house. My daughter Mia has asthma. She's got a pulmonologist. Medications run $900 a month without insurance. And I keep trying to explain about HSA eligible plans and COBRA extensions, but I cannot get past what my grandpa said. I left the city job three months ago, and the freelance money is good. It's really good, but I'm terrified I made the wrong call.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know if you made the wrong call. If the money's so good, you should be able to afford your insurance, right? I mean, it's easy for me to say I don't afford my own insurance because I won't insurance premium, but I don't have a kid that has asthma that needs. Why is asthma medication $900 a month? That seems extremely excessive. Have you looked at like the Amazon Pharmacy or Mark Cuban's company there for discount prescriptions?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SKEETER</span><p>Yeah, I have looked at those, and it's not just one medication. It's a combination. She's on flovent, which is the inhaled corticosteroid, and then there's the rescue inhaler, and the nebulizer treatments when it gets bad. The flovent alone is like 600-something without cover. Mark Cuban's thing helps a little bit, but not enough to make a real dent. And yeah, I can afford insurance now. I found a plan that's actually pretty comparable. The deductible is higher, but the monthly premium is reasonable. And I ran the numbers like 10 different ways. But here's the thing. My grandpa Ernesto. He worked for the city of Deming for 32 years.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you already left your city job. So it doesn't really matter if you made the right or the wrong decision. You have to deal with the life that you're in now. And it sounds like you've got enough money coming in and you can afford the insurance premiums, so that's what you should do. And this isn't a problem. You can't, you can't just stick in a job because it's comfortable forever when you have other skills and abilities that could possibly afford you life closer to what you really want. I think you probably made the right call going on on your own and taking the risk and betting on yourself. But if you've got a sick kid and you got to pay for those medications, then insurance is, important.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SKEETER</span><p>I hear you. I do. And I already got the insurance. I signed up two weeks ago. It kicks in April 1st.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, then. What's your problem here? You've got a, you've left your job. Now you've got a better freelance job. You work for yourself. You've got insurance. Your kids all set. What's the issue?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SKEETER</span><p>The issue is I cannot shake this feeling that I'm being selfish. Like, I did this for me. Not for my family. I was miserable at the city job. Yeah, but it was stable and safe. Now I'm making more and I get to work on projects I actually care about, instead of resetting passwords for the Parks and Rec Department. But every Sunday when we go to my grandparents' house for dinner, Ernesto looks at me like I'm some kind of idiot.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, Ernesto doesn't have to live your life. And if you hated your job, your family knew that. So a happier you is going to make for a happier family. The money's there. You're not in risk of not paying the mortgage or anything like that. So it sounds to me like you did the right thing. And it doesn't matter if you were selfish because it's your life and you're the one that has to live it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SKEETER</span><p>Yeah, but what if I'm wrong about the money? Like, this month was 6,800, last month was 5,200. The month before that was 4,900. It's trending up, but it's not consistent. The city job was 2,900 every two weeks, no matter what. I could plan around that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep, and if things go south and you're not able to upkeep this money over the long term, then you can always get another city job. You can always go work for some IT company and reset idiots' passwords all day. It's not that hard to find an entry-levelish job in IT. So if that's what you have to do, you can do it. But for right now, what's working is working, and you just have to learn how to manage your books so that you're saving the money when you're making extra. So at the times when you're not making so much, you have some buffer. So it's an exercise in accounting.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SKEETER</span><p>That is actually exactly what I have been doing. I set up a separate savings account. I am putting 30% of every payment into it for taxes and another 20% as buffer. I have a spreadsheet that tracks every invoice, every expense, projected income for the next three months based on current contracts. I have done the research on this. I know how freelancers are supposed to manage their finances. But Ernesto does not care about any of that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, Ernesto can worry about his own finances. He's not managing yours. It doesn't matter what Ernesto thinks. Ernesto is 80 years old. He's never worked in today's workplace. And the reality of the situation is, even though it felt like your city job was super secure and you're always going to get that $2,000. At the next town meeting, they could reduce the funding and lay you off on a pin drop. Is that right? On a dime. At the tip of a hat. So there's no loyalty to you in the workplace, whether it's a city job or a corporate job or a government job. Your best bet here is a freelance job where you can actually make things happen.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SKEETER</span><p>You are right about that. Actually, two people got laid off from my old department in January because the city council cut the it budget by 15%. My old supervisor sent me a text about it. So the security I thought I had, it was not even real security.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, it's not. And everybody that thinks they have job security is fooling themselves because, I mean, read the news. Layoffs happen all the time, all the time, for no reason at all, just because some, you know, CEO wants to make an extra couple billion a year. So I think you're doing the right thing. It's working out. You're managing your money correctly. Don't worry about Ernesto. He doesn't know, right? He doesn't have any clue what the current environment is like. So if he's going to give you the side eye, whatever. Fuck them. All right, ladies and gentlemen. That is the end of another look at the roost. again tomorrow where I give real world problems real life advice.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 31: Boundaries, Breakups, and Borrowed Books</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-03-08T10:01:01+00:00">March 8, 2026</time> · 56 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this episode, Luke tackles a diverse range of caller challenges, from a bar bouncer struggling with family dynamics to a flight attendant processing a breakup and a restaurant manager dealing with workplace tensions. Callers share deeply personal stories about relationships, identity, and personal growth, revealing the complex emotional landscapes we navigate. Tune in for Luke’s unfiltered, no-nonsense advice that cuts straight to the heart of human experience.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back. I am Luke. I am your host of tonight's episode of Luke at the Roost. This is the call-in radio show where you can call in and ask me about what's going on in your life. I'll give you the very best advice that I can. If you'd like to give us a call, the number is 208-439-58-53. That's 208-439 Luke. I've got a very special announcement for Wednesday. Actually, I don't know if you guys are going to care about this announcement, but I do have an announcement for Wednesday. I've been a very busy boy. And more about that later on in the week. Now it's time to get our show started. And first up on our caller line here, we've got Red. Red, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>Luke, I just threw a college kid out of the bar for FaceTime and his girlfriend at full volume by the pool tables, fascist on his way out the door, a fascist for asking him to use headphones or take it outside. And you know what really gets me?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, before we get to what gets you, I just want to let you know that you are a true patriot, sir, and we appreciate you because people that are FaceTiming in public like that are the most annoying people ever. So I salute you for standing up for America. You're a true, a true patriot, sir. What is it that gets you?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>I've been at this place for 56 years, Luke. 56 years. And I have seen every kind of drunk, every kind of troublemaker, every kind of idiot you can imagine walk through that door. But this new generation, they think the whole world is their living room. This kid's got his phone up, girlfriend on the screen, they're having a full domestic argument about whether she liked some other guy's Instagram post, and he's just broadcasting it to the entire bar like we all bought tickets to his relationship drama. I gave him three warnings.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you did the right thing, and everybody else in that bar appreciates you and how you stood up for the cause, sir. You're not a fascist at all.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>I appreciate that, Luke, but here's the thing that's eating at me. After I tossed him, I'm back in the office cooling down, and I start thinking about it. My daughter, she's 32 now. She does the exact same thing. Last Thanksgiving, she's at my table facetiming her friends in Portland while I'm trying to carve the turkey.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, hopefully you threw her right out of Thanksgiving dinner because that is unacceptable behavior.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>See, that's the problem, Luke. I didn't. I sat there and took it because she's my daughter and I only see her twice a year since she moved up there. Now I'm wondering if I'm a hypocrite.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, maybe a little bit of a hypocrite, but it's your daughter and you have to make exceptions. Sometimes I understand that. Maybe a strong-worded suggestion to put the phone away would have been appropriate. What I would do in your situation is think, Dalton do at the double deuce, right? You're a bouncer, so Dalton really is the gold standard for a bouncer etiquette. And as we all know from the double deuce, the primary rule, the golden rule in bouncing is be nice. Be nice until it's time to not be nice.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>Yeah, I know the speech, Luke, but here's where I'm stuck. With the college kid tonight, I was nice.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, you were nice and then you escorted him out of the building because he was being a douchebag. And if he comes back and continues to be a douchebag, that's when you rip out his throat.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>Right. But with my daughter, I never even get to warning number one. I just sit there and simmer. And you know what the real kicker is? After I threw the kid out tonight, I called my daughter to tell her about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe she'll be able to read through the lines and understand that you have to throw people out when they're acting in an unacceptable way to have the self-awareness to look at her own behavior and potentially change it for next Thanksgiving.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>That's what I was hoping, Luke, but instead she goes, Dad, that's so harsh. He was probably just having a bad day. A bad day. Like that gives you the right to ruin everybody else's night. And I'm standing there in the parking lot with the wind kicking up dust everywhere, and I realize she learned this from me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, there's only one thing you can do, and that is the next time you're at the Thanksgiving table with your daughter and she pulls out her phone and she's on speaker phone doing a face time. Just lift up your leg, you know, put your foot on the chair next to her and show her your boot knife.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>Luke, you're not hearing me. I don't want to threaten my daughter with a boot knife. What I want is to understand why I can enforce basic respect with strangers, but I let my own kid walk all over me because here's the thing that's really messing with me. After she defended the college kid, I asked her point blank, do you think what you did at Thanksgiving was rude? And she said, dad, my friends are my chosen family.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, that may be true. And you can talk to them before and after Thanksgiving dinner, but at Thanksgiving dinner put the phone away. I think that's a reasonable expectation from you. And I think there's a couple of things here. See, when you're at the bar and you have to enforce respect, you're working, right? You're at work. So you're doing your job. And that's what you're you're supposed to do and everybody expects you to do. When you're at home, you're off the clock, so you don't have to be the enforcer at home if you don't want to be.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>But that's exactly backwards, Luke. When I'm at work, these people mean nothing to me. Kid with a FaceTime, I'll never see him again.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, so. Good. That's the idea, right? Then you did your job well. At home, though, I mean, if it doesn't, if it bothers you, it bothers you. If it doesn't bother you, that's fine. You can do If you want to afford your daughter the flexibility to allow her to be a pain in the ass at Thanksgiving dinner, that's your prerogative. And you can do that. In the bar, though, when somebody's doing that, you got to kick him out because he's bothering everybody.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>No, Luke, it does bother me. That's why I'm calling. It bothered me so much I left my own table, went outside and sat in my truck for 20 minutes while my ex-wife carved the turkey. But here's what I can't figure out. At the bar, when someone disrespects the space, I feel righteous throwing them out. Clean conscience.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, at the bar is your job to throw them out. That's what you do. That's your whole purpose for being there. At your home with your daughter, throwing out your kids is not necessarily your role. That doesn't mean you can't throw them out, though, if they're being a pain in the ass, and if she continues to be a pain in the ass.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>You're missing what I'm saying, Luke. I don't want to throw my daughter out. What I'm trying to tell you, is that when I grabbed that college kid by the collar tonight, I felt like Anton Chigur. You know, from no country for old men, like I was this force of nature enforcing the rules of the universe, but with my daughter I feel like the opposite.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I'm not missing what you're saying. I'm hearing exactly what you're saying, and I'm telling you how to handle it or not handle it, and I'm giving you permission to choose your own adventure here. If it's bothering you so much that you've got to leave your own Thanksgiving table, you should say something to your daughter. And if you can't, then I don't know what to tell you. I guess go eat at McDonald's while everybody has Thanksgiving dinner.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">RED</span><p>You know what, Luke? You're right. I've been making this too complicated. I can tell a drunk stranger exactly what line he crossed and why he's got to go, but I can't tell my own daughter that watching her ignore her family for her phone makes me feel like I failed as a father. And the reason I can't is because I'm scared she'll look at me the same way the college kid did tonight when I had him by the collar. Like I'm just some old man who doesn't understand how the world works anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>I budget everything. Like everything, everything, everything. $43 a week for social slash entertainment, and all of it goes to Cactus Jacks. Tuesday trivia, Thursday pool nights. That's where I see people.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. And what's the problem with that? That seems like a reasonable amount for a lot of extracurricular social activities. $43 a week isn't a ton.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>The problem is, that was my place. And now Maya's there with Hannah, which means they're probably going to be there Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I can't just show up and pretend everything's normal. So where do I go? I don't have another $43 to build a whole new social life somewhere else.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, well, you just go to Cactus Jacks. That's your place. That's where you go. And if Maya wants to make out with Hannah, good for them. Like, that's none of your business, really.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>You don't understand. Hannah was my bartender. Like, she knew my drink. She knew my schedule. she'd text me when good bands were playing. And Maya knows that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, she's still your bartender, right? She's the bartender at Cactus Jack. So when you go there, she's not going to have suddenly forgotten your drink. And she can still text you when bands are playing and stuff. And why do you need a text when a good band's playing? They have a Facebook page or whatever. You can get on the rotation there and be informed about upcoming events.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>Luke, I think you're missing the point. Hannah was being nice to me because I was a customer and she's good at her job. She wasn't actually my friend. And now I know that for sure because she's with Maya and she didn't even text me a heads up or anything. I just walked into it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You don't know that she's with Maya. She was just making out with her at the bar. Like women are apt to do at times. That's not weird. I mean, that doesn't mean anything.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>They were leaning into each other like they'd done it before. It wasn't some random drunk thing. And Maya had her hand on Hannah's waist in that specific way where you you can tell it's comfortable, you know? Like muscle memory.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, you got two choices. You can either grow up and deal with it, your ex-girlfriends with somebody else, and just continue to go to Cactus Jacks like you always have, or you can find a new place and keep your same $43-46 budget and move it to another bar. What's the problem here?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>The problem is, I don't know where else to go. I've been going to Cactus Jacks for this three years. I know the trivia categories. I know which pool table doesn't have the wonky felt. I know to avoid the bathroom between nine and ten because that's when the bachelorette parties show up. You can't just transplant that somewhere else and have it worked the same way.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you can't. You go somewhere else and you learn its idiosyncrasies. I mean, this is not an issue. You're a big girl. You can go to a different bar and learn which pool table you like and when the bathrooms get blown up. Or better yet, go to a bar that doesn't have bachelorette parties. And then you're that's a double win.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BERNADETTE</span><p>Okay, but it's not just about learning a new place. It's about the fact that I budgeted for this. I have a spreadsheet, $43 a week, every week, allocated to cactus jacks.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for a word from our sponsors. I'm just going to say it. Your penis isn't working. I said it. It's out there now. The word is in the air. We're all adults. Some of us are adults whose penises work and some of us are adults who are listening very carefully right now while pretending to adjust the radio so the person in the passenger seat doesn't see their face. It's fine. It happens to, and this is the real number. Roughly half of all men over over 40 at some point. Half. You're not special. You're not broken. You're not the first guy this happened to and you're not going to be the last. You're just the guy it's happening to right now. And right now you have two options. Option one, do nothing. Keep staring at the ceiling. Keep blaming the altitude, the stress, the medication, the alignment of mercury, the fact that you ate dairy, none of which are the problem. Option two, sandstone. dollars, a doctor who has literally heard everything and will not flinch. Medication that works, a box that reveals nothing, and the ability to walk into your bedroom like a man who handled his business instead of a man who's about to suggest watching another episode of something. Sandstone, I said the word. You heard the word. Now go to the website.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, and we're back. Let's get some music playing here. And then, uh, let's talk to Rocco. Rocko's on the line. How are you tonight, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCCO</span><p>Am I on? Hey, Luke. Yeah, I can hear you. I'm good. I'm good. Well, no. Actually, I'm calling because I need to tell you something. I'm on my break right now at the Pizza Hut. I'm in the back office, and I got about 20 minutes before I got to get back out there. So listen, I know I called a couple days ago about Linda, my ex-wife. And you told me to pick one person and stop wasting everybody's time.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, I did. And then I hung up on you because you were an uninteresting radio caller and you had nothing to say. Do you have something to say this time? Or should we just move on with the hanging up part?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ROCCO</span><p>No, no, no. Wait. I got something. I got something to say. So three hours ago, right? I'm doing a delivery over on Maple Street. And I pull up to this house. And who opens the door? Linda, my ex-wife Linda. She-</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>We don't care. Enough of you and Linda. Stop calling. You're uninteresting. You're boring, Rocco. You're boring. Deliver your pieces and shut the fuck up. Next we've got Shanice. Sheenice, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life? How can we help you?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>Hey, Luke. So I got in a fight last night in a parking lot in Lordsburg, and I started it, and now I cannot stop reading about wars on Wikipedia, and I do not know why.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Jesus. That doesn't sound good. So why did you start the fight? You sound very angry. What's going on in your life?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>I mean, I am not angry right now. I am just sitting in a bathroom at a second Super 8 trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. This guy outside the bar would not leave us alone, kept running his mouth. And I just, I threw the first punch. My girlfriend jumped in. We both got our asses kicked. And now I have been up since three in the morning, reading about the defenestration of Prague and the 30 years war. And I cannot turn my brain off.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, uh, what was he saying that guy who's so upset? It's not cool that he kicked two women's asses in a parking lot. That's not a very manly thing to do. But what was it that get your blood pressure pump in?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SHANICE</span><p>He was just being a drunk asshole, honestly. Said something about my girlfriend. I do not even remember exactly what now. Just kept going and would not shut up. But here's the thing, Luke. He was walking away. He was actually leaving. And I went after him. That is what I keep thinking about.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, uh, well, then maybe you got what you deserved. You can't just run up and punch people, even if they're assholes. That's a little thing that we call assault. And this time, it sounds like you got assaulted back.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Next up on the roost line, we've got, uh, Donnie. Donnie, welcome to the show. What's going on in your you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Marco made a crack about me celebrating Taco Tuesday at Applebee's two hours ago. And now my wife won't talk to me because I told him that whole thing is disrespectful. We were at her sister's birthday at Los Arcos. Whole family there. And I said, yeah. Actually, I do think it's disrespectful. And the table went dead silent. She drove herself home in her own car. I'm at the Chevron off the ten right now. And I don't even know if I should go</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you sound like a pretty intense individual. So if you're saying something's disrespectful in that voice of yours, it's going to come across with some weight. It is disrespectful, but it's also a joke. So why are you taking it so seriously?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>Because it's not just a joke when it's every single time we're together. Marko's always got something. Last month, it was asking if I shop at the white people Walmart. Month before that, he's if I listen to country music in the truck.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't understand. Are you a white person yourself? Why would you shop at the white person Walmart? I've only seen one Walmart ever that wasn't a white person Walmart, and it's the one in Gallup, New Mexico, that's a very Native American Walmart. But the rest of them, I would probably venture to say, are mostly white Walmarts.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>I'm Mexican. My dad's from Chihuahua. But I grew up here. I grew up here. I I don't speak Spanish. And yeah, I listen to country sometimes, because that's what's on when you're driving between job sites all day. Marco thinks that makes me some kind of sellout. Like there's a right way to be Mexican, and I'm doing it wrong.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, Marco might be a dickhead. That's all. Sometimes you got to deal with those people in your life. Does he have good qualities, too? Or is it always just pissing you off?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>He's good to my wife's sister. He works hard. He's got three kids, and he shows up for them.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I mean, to you. I mean, are you friends with this guy? Like, do you have a rapport? Do you joke back and forth and help each other out when you need help and stuff? Like, would you consider him your friend?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>No. I mean, he's family. So I see him at these things. But we don't hang out. He doesn't call me. I don't call him. If his truck broke down, I'd probably go help him. But that's just what you do. I wouldn't say we're friends.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, then you don't have to be friends. And once in a while, you've got to see him at these family events, and he's going to say something stupid. And if it's disrespectful, yeah, you're right to tell him it's disrespectful. And if everybody else has a problem with that, I mean, you shouldn't have to hide that you're repulsed by somebody's off-color comments at the dinner table. But you have to articulate that without being a dickhead yourself.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>I wasn't trying to be a dickhead. I just said I think the whole Taco Tuesday thing is disrespectful and I don't think it's funny. But the way everyone looked at me, like I just ruined the whole night. My wife's barely looked at me since.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, explain to me the Taco Tuesday thing, because when you say it's disrespectful, I think you're, is that a Mexican thing or is that like a tacos look like vaginas thing? Because I'm confused about where the disrespect is coming from.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DONNIE</span><p>It's the way white people treat Mexican food like it's some novelty. Like tacos are this fun little theme night at Applebee's with $2 margaritas, and sombreros on the wall. It's my culture turned into a marketing gimmick, and Marco knows that bothers me. So he's making the joke that I probably go to Applebee's for Taco Tuesday, because I'm not Mexican enough to care.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, well, fuck that guy. He's an asshole, and you can go for Taco Tuesday because you like tacos. And Taco Tuesday is usually a great value. I recommend that you stop by the Road Forks gas station and see Taco Jerry.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because if you're looking for tacos, there's really no better tacos around than Taco Jerry. I appreciate that, but that's not really the point.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>The point is, I can't win with this guy. If I go to Applebee's, I'm a sellout.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, we've already established that he's a dickhead, and there's nothing that you can do that's going to change that. You just have to learn how to interface with him so you're not both getting on each other's nerves. But you don't have to worry about what he thinks about you if he doesn't think you're Mexican enough. You don't sound very Mexican. You sound like a super villain, but I mean, you're as Mexican as you want to be, man. I don't know why that bothers you. Who cares what other people think?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Because it's not just him. It's the whole table going quiet, like I'm the one who made it awkward. My wife won't even talk to me. She drove herself home separately, and I've been standing out here for two hours because I don't want to go home and deal with the silent treatment. I'm the bad guy for calling out bullshit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you're not. You gotta speak up when somebody's offending you and if it pisses other people off, then, I mean, have a conversation with your wife and tell her, look, the guy's a dick. He's always giving me shit about my Mexicanness and I'm sick of it and I'm not going to stand for it anymore. And if she has a problem with that, you two work it out between yourselves. See why that bothers her so much because it really shouldn't be this big of a deal.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah, but here's the thing. This isn't the first time. Last Thanksgiving, I got into it with her uncle about something else. And at Christmas, her dad made some comment, and I said something back. She says, I'm always looking for a fight at these family things. And maybe she's got a point. I don't know.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe she does have a point. You sound like a very sensitive man, very insecure in yourself. And maybe you should talk to a therapist or do some push-ups or something, or do something to have a little bit more confidence in yourself. Because those are the time types of things that should roll off you. A quick joke there. I mean, maybe it's a little bit annoying, but it shouldn't have you this pissed off, and it shouldn't have you ruining all the holidays. So maybe there is something there. And if it's not the first time you've caused one of these issues and embarrassed your wife in public, then maybe she's got a point, and you should look into that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I'm not embarrassed about who I am. I work hard. I run a good crew. I take care of my family. But yeah, maybe I do get defensive when people come at me like that. It's just, I grew up getting shit from both sides.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you have to be able to define what getting shit is and what getting ragged on is, right? This is a thing that dudes do to each other in general. Like, all, I don't know if women do this nearly as much as men do, but we all rag on each other. And it's not meant to cut deeply. Just, uh, it's our way of making conversation.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>But there's a difference between ragging on somebody and making it about their identity. Like, you can give me shit about my truck or my haircut or whatever. But when you're making it about whether I'm Mexican enough, that's different. That cuts at something else.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's you. I mean, there are other people that would be far more offended if you gave them shit about their truck. You know, if somebody's really into their truck and you give them a little bit of shit about their truck, they're going to feel sensitive about that. Sounds like you're sensitive about a lot, though. And that probably comes from an upbringing where both sides were picking on you, and that makes perfect sense. But now you're an adult and you've got to navigate the real world with other people and understand that everything, everybody says, isn't meant to get under your skin like that. And you letting it under your skin is affecting your relationships. So maybe talk to a therapist or find some other way to regain that constant in your identity, because it's obviously the identity that's bothering you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're probably right. I just don't know how to sit there and smile when somebody's taking shots at me. Even if he doesn't mean it the way I'm taking it, I can't just let it slide. And that's what gets me in trouble every time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you have to learn when to let it slide and when to say something about it, but not make it a big deal. And when to make it a big deal. And those are just interpersonal skills that you learn over time. If you know that you're prone to to get ultra-defensive, ultra-quickly around certain topics, if those are your triggers, then you can do certain techniques to avoid that, right? You can do breathing exercises or cognitive behavioral therapy. There are many different ways that you can identify, I don't want to call it a flaw, but what you're, you know, what triggers you to act in ways you don't want to and cut it off before it happens. And that takes effort and skill and time. But if you take that effort and learn those skills, I think you'll find that over time, you have a better, a better time in social interactions.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Yeah. I mean, I appreciate that. I think part of me knows I'm doing it while it's happening, but I can't stop myself.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, man, we've all got those things, those personality defects that causes problems. And when they cause enough of a problem with our families or our friends or our jobs, then we have to take action to do something about them. So I suggest that you do. And now before we take another call, I think we're going to have to go to another word from our sponsors.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Does your dog bark at nothing? Does he stare at the wall for 45 minutes and then sprint into a door? Does he ever growled at a specific corner of your house like he's seeing something you can't? Yeah, your dog's going through some stuff. Introducing calm down. Premium edibles for dogs. Each bacon-flavored chew contains a proprietary blend of chamomile, valerian root, and a third ingredient that we have patented so we don't have to tell you tell you what it is. Within 30 minutes, your dog will go from destroying your couch to sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor with a thousand yard stare, completely at peace with the universe. Will he see the same thing in the corner? Probably, but he won't care anymore. Side effects may include extreme chill, sudden interest in reggae, and your dog forgetting his own name, which, let's be honest, he already did. Calm down. Because your dog doesn't need a walk. He needs to calm the hell down. Not available in California. We cannot stress that enough.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, and we are back. All right, next up on our caller line here, we've got Naomi. Naomi, welcome to the show. What's going on tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NAOMI</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I got promoted to shift supervisor at the care facility where I worked three weeks ago. And now my best friend, Delia, won't even look at me. Like tonight, I try to explain the new medication protocols during clothing, and she literally turned her back on me. Just completely shut me out. And Marcus, too. They're both missing their check-in times, making me look incompetent to the regional supervisor. And I don't know what to do because these are my people, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I think you have to have a conversation with them and let them know that you are in a position of leadership over them and that they have to, follow your example. I mean, it's your job now to lead them. And if they're being insubordinate or giving you a hard time about that, then maybe you have to take corrective action. And that sucks because it's your friends, right? But you have to kind of choose. If they can't accept that you've been promoted and that they are now under you, then maybe they have the wrong jobs.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NAOMI</span><p>Yeah. I mean, All right, I know you're right. It's just, well, shoot. Delia and I used to split cigarettes behind the building on breaks.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NAOMI</span><p>And now, I'm the one who has to ride her up if she's late to Jekkins. And the thing is, I get why she's upset. She's been there two years longer than me. She trained me when I started. And honestly, she probably should have gotten the promotion instead of me. But she called in sick the week they were doing interviews, because her mom was in the hospital over Endemming.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that sucks. And it's too bad for her, but it's not your fault that she wasn't there when they were doing the interviews, right? I mean, it's sad about her mom. It's sad she wasn't there. And the whole situation is a little bit messed up. But if she was a friend of yours, you should be able to have that conversation and let her know, look, I wasn't trying to do this. I wasn't trying to take this job out from under you. They just, they gave it to me. And now a minute. And if we're going to continue to work together, then we have to figure this out. to be an asshole. You don't have to lay down the law. But you can explain to them that their behavior right now is reflecting poorly on you. And that's not fair.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NAOMI</span><p>You're absolutely right. I need to just sit down with her and say that. The problem is I've tried twice already. And she won't even stay in the room with me. Like she'll literally find something she needs to do in another wing the second I walk in. And Marcus follows her lead on everything. So he's doing the same thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, here's what I think you should do. I think you should give it a little bit of time, develop a plan, and have those conversations with them. But before that happens, talk to your management and let them know what's going on and tell them they don't need to get involved yet. This is part of the changing of the staff. And it's to be expected to some degree. And you've got a plan for it. You're going to address it. And if it doesn't work, you're going to give it, I don't know, before you ask for reinforcement.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NAOMI</span><p>Oh gosh, that's actually really smart. Because right now, the regional supervisor just sees me looking like I can't handle my own staff. But if I get ahead of it and tell her I'm working on it, at least she knows I'm aware of the problem. I've got my next check-in with her on Wednesday. I could bring it up then. The thing that's killing me, though, is I drove all the way out here to my grandma Yolanda's place in Hardin. cheat tonight because I just couldn't be in my apartment anymore.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I think that this approach is going to make your upper management respect you more because this is a problem that happens to a lot of people in management when they're promoted. It's an organizational issue and a culture issue. And if you can get in front of it, acknowledge it and develop a plan to deal with it. And that works, that's a big deal. And that's a big deal. And that's, shows a pretty extreme level of skill, right? It shows a maturity that not a lot of people in your position can pull off. So I think do that. Look at it as an opportunity to prove your skill in management.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NAOMI</span><p>You know what? I hadn't thought about it that way at all. I've just been sitting here eating my grandma's biscuit chitos and feeling like a complete failure. But you're right. This is actually a chance to show them. I can handle the hard parts of the job, not just the scheduling and the protocols. Oh gosh, Luke. That actually makes me feel so much better.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yep. Anybody can learn the scheduling and the protocols. That's teachable. But when you can work with people at that level, in a management type role, that's something that is more special. It's more rare and more valuable, to be honest with you. Next up, we've got Reggie. Reggie, welcome to the show. How can we help you?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. So I just got hit with a library fine that's basically wiped out everything I saved for a security deposit. And the weird part is the librarian knew my name before I even said anything.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wait a second. A library fine? Like, what is it, 1986? How much could a library fine possibly be? How many books did you not return? Like, what's a library fine? Three dollars?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>No, it was one book. field guide to desert birds. The fine was $347.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Come on. No, it wasn't. $347? No way. I don't believe that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>I'm looking at the receipt right now, Luke. 23 years overdue. They cap it at $15 per book, but there's processing fees, replacement costs for the addition, some kind of administrative charge. It's all itemized.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, who cares? Don't pay. that that is stupid.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>I already paid it. That's what I'm saying. I paid it because she said my name. The librarian, she just looked up and said, Reggie, before I even opened my mouth. And I just handed over my debit card like I was on autopilot or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you should call your bank and have them stop payment on that charge reported as fucking fraud, because that's, that's bullshit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>I mean, it's not fraud, though. I did check out the book, summer after high school. I remember doing it. And I never brought it back.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but it's not worth $347. Stop it. You know damn well it's not worth that much money. They just ripped you off hard. There's no library in the country that keeps their records for that long and is going to charge you compounding interest for the rest of your fucking life. That's stupidness.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>The thing is, I know where the book's been this whole time. That's what's messing with me. It wasn't lost. I've seen it. I've had it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you should take it back into that library and then smash that librarian across her face with it. Because $347 is too much money to charge somebody at a library for literally anything. That's what I have to say to you. Don't play this game.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">REGGIE</span><p>I can't take it back. I don't have it anymore. And the librarian, she wasn't trying to rip me off or anything.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, all right. Goodbye, Reggie. Good luck to you. Paying your rent, you, you dummy. Next up we've got Alia. Alia, welcome to the show. How can we help you today?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So my girlfriend moved out Thursday. And I am sitting here at one in the morning doing restaurant paperwork. And I just watched some guy in a BMW. leave his shopping cart wedged against a cactus in the parking lot. And I wanted to throw something through his window, which feels insane because it is just a shopping cart. But also, I think maybe I am angrier about the shopping cart than I am about Vanessa leaving. And I do not know what that means about me.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It probably means that you're hurt and in some of of grief and anger is one of those stages and you saw something to project your anger onto, which is a shopping cart. And really, it all comes down to your hurt because your girlfriend left.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Except here is the thing. I am not even sure I am that hurt about Vanessa specifically. Like we have been together two years and she moved out. And I, I should be devastated, right?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know. I mean, two years isn't all that long and relationships aren't the end of the world. Sometimes they end and there can be devastation, but there's always some level of grief. And it might not be because you don't have Vanessa anymore. Maybe it's something internal. Like you feel like you can't uphold a relationship or whatever the details of your breakup there maybe are making you think less of yourself. in some way. Who knows? There's a million different things it could be. But it's probably related to the breakup, since that's the most significant event that's happened in your life recently, that would make you unreasonably angry at stupid shit.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALIA</span><p>You are absolutely right about that. She laughed because I work too much. Which is true. I do work too much. I am the assistant manager at this Italian place. And I have been doing like. 60-hour weeks since January because our general manager quit and they have not replaced him yet. And Vanessa kept saying I was choosing the restaurant over her. And I kept saying I am not choosing anything. I am just doing my job.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you're going to have to probably spend some time with that one and decide how much your job means to you and how much the girl means to you. And maybe it's not over yet. You don't know. But just watch yourself and don't flip out on anybody. Because if you do, they could be police involved. I could make things way, way, way worse. So go easy with yourself. Take some time to think and sleep and enjoy having the whole bed to yourself. That's what I say. And we're going to take one more call tonight and then we'll be done. And our last caller tonight is Chip. Chip, welcome to the show. How can we help you, sir?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Luke, okay, so picture this. I'm standing in my kitchen at one in the morning, right? And I just got off the phone with my actual lawyer. Not the Guatemalan one, my lawyer, the one I pay. And he tells me the photo is real. verified real.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. So you're the guy that adopted the child that was actually stolen from Guatemala, and you talk to your lawyer. The lawyer says that the photo of your daughter that you adopted with her birth mother is real. And she's holding up a sign or something like that. You described the photo for us before. What else did your lawyer say about your rights in this situation?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>He said legally, I'm in the clear. Like, the adoption was done through a licensed agency. We followed every rule. We didn't know anything was shady. So nobody's coming to take her away from me or anything. But then he goes. However, morally and ethically, you might want to consider what's best for your daughter. And I'm like, what does that even mean? Best for her, how?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it means exactly what it says. You want to consider what's best for her. Should she be aware of her birth mother and her situation. Should you meet up and have visitation with the birth mother? Should she have an opportunity to go live in Guatemala for a little while? How do you and your wife want to deal with that? I think that's what he means.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Girlfriend. Teresa's my girlfriend. We're not married. And that's the thing, Luke. I haven't told her yet. She's at work right now. Graveyard shift at the hospital. And I'm sitting here watching our daughter's soccer uniform go around in the dryer, thinking about how I'm supposed to drop this bomb on her when she gets home at 7 in the morning.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Man, you're washing that soccer uniform all the time. You've got to get some more uniforms so you don't have to do so much goddamn laundry. That's my first suggestion for you is get a couple more uniforms, so you're not always the laundromat. Next, yeah, you've got to have this conversation with your girlfriend. But you don't have to do it right away. There's no time crunch on you. And morally and ethically, what your lawyer is suggesting is just that you consider it and maybe you do consider it and you decide that nothing changes and you're not going to tell your daughter about her situation. You don't have to. I don't know what the right answer is there. I've never been in that situation and not many other people have. So there isn't a right answer. You have to think about your family, your life, your daughter, her personality and what you're okay with and what feels comfortable to you guys. This is a parenting decision that you have to do</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Okay, but here's the thing. I ate lunch with Steve today, my co-worker. And I almost told him before I tell Teresa. Like I had it right there in my mouth at the cafeteria. And I'm thinking, what is wrong with me that I want to tell some guy I eat sandwiches with before I tell the woman I've lived for nine years? And the lawyer also said the birth mother wants to talk to me. She sent a letter through the Guatemalan lawyer. She wants to meet my daughter.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, she can wait. tell whoever you want to confide in. It doesn't matter who you tell first. None of that is relevant. You don't have to make any move right now. There's no legal basis pushing you to do anything. You can take your time and think it through and have these conversations in the best way possible for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Yeah, okay. But Luke, the letter says she's been looking for eight years. Eight years. My daughter is eight years old right now. This woman has been looking for her since the day she disappeared. And I keep thinking about that photo. The one with the crooked smile that's exactly like my daughter's smile. And I'm realizing this isn't just some bureaucratic mix-up.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, she's been looking for eight years. She can wait another month for you to have these conversations and decide what you're comfortable with, all right? If you, if you are feeling guilty for some reason, if you feel like the right thing to do is to let the mother know right away, then have that conversation with Teresa tonight. And stop worrying about being paralyzed by having that conversation, because that's what's holding you up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>You're right, you're right. Big surprise there that I'm the one making this harder than it needs to be. It's just Teresa and I have been rocky lately anyway, like really rocky. And I feel like dropping this on her is going to be the thing that finally breaks us. She's already been talking about how exhausted she is. see each other anymore with her schedule.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, this is a big family decision, and she deserves to be involved in it. And if it breaks you guys up, it sounds like you're already on rocky ground. It's probably going to happen anyway. So, uh, talk to her. That's my advice for you is talk to Teresa, tell her what's going on, and then you two make the decision together about what you're comfortable with. That's all there is to it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Okay, so picture this. I tell Teresa tomorrow morning when she's a little. She gets home, she's exhausted from a 12-hour shift. And I hit her with, hey, honey, our daughter might have been stolen from her birth mother in Guatemala. That's going to go great. But you're right. I can't keep sitting on this. The dryer just stopped and I got to get her uniform out anyway. I'll tell Teresa tomorrow, I will.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you've got to tell her. She's going to be more upset if she finds out that you held off on it for a month or sent your daughter to Guatemala without her say. teller and deal with the fallout of that together as a family because that's what this is about. And with that, ladies and gentlemen, that is the end of our show. So tune in again tomorrow for more fantastic advice from me, Luke, at Luke at the Roost.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 32: Tacos, Taxes, and Tense Conversations</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-03-09T10:23:15+00:00">March 9, 2026</time> · 1 hr 37 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this episode, Luke takes calls from Otis about a fake cancer lie, Brandy about workplace drama, Keith about generational work ethics, Slim about cultural appropriation, and Lakeisha about changing rural landscapes. Each caller brings a unique perspective on personal and societal challenges, leading to heated discussions about authenticity, opportunity, and transformation.</p>
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<audio controls preload="none" src="https://op3.dev/e,pg=46cfb731-b4a1-55e2-80f3-cadb1c6c18fa/podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/audio/@LukeAtTheRoost/episode-32-tacos-taxes-and-tense-conversations.mp3">
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<a href="https://op3.dev/e,pg=46cfb731-b4a1-55e2-80f3-cadb1c6c18fa/podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/audio/@LukeAtTheRoost/episode-32-tacos-taxes-and-tense-conversations.mp3">Download the episode</a>
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<section class="episode-transcript">
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, all right, welcome back. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call-in radio show where you can give us a call, and I'll give you advice about whatever's going on in your life, no matter how ridiculous or petty or nonsensical it is. If you'd like to give us a call, the number's 208-439-583. That's 208-439 Luke. right now and you'd still like to participate. You can send us an email anytime. The email address is submissions at luke at the roost.com. Today is Monday, March 9th. It's about 1 a.m. And we're about to get on the air here with our friend Otis. Otis, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>Hey, Luke, appreciate you taking my call. So look, I need some advice on how to tell people I faked having Six months ago, I told my sister I had prostate cancer to get out of her fourth wedding. And now there's been a GoFundMe, a pancake breakfast fundraiser. My cousin shaved his head for me, and I just got a text with a picture of a check for $4,700. I have been trying to figure out how to come clean without everyone in Hatch wanting to murder me, and I am running out of time here.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's pretty extreme. You must have really not wanted to go to that wedding. The only way out of this one is to give yourself prostate cancer. You should try eating some Oreos or something.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>You know what? I actually looked into whether you can give yourself cancer through diet, and apparently it takes like 30 years of really dedicated work.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I bet.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>So that timeline does not help me. But yeah, the wedding thing, her name is Delia, and this was husband number four. The guy owns a car wash in Las Cruces, and she wanted me to walk her down the aisle again because our dad is not in the picture. And I already did it twice, Luke, twice. The third wedding, I was in Guatemala, supposedly on a work trip, but I was actually just staying at my buddy Fernando's place in Deming, eating Cheetos and watching Netflix for a week. This time, I panicked and went bigger.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>Martinez looked at my chart, did the exam, and then he sat down and he said, Otis, I don't know what you've been telling people, but you don't have prostate cancer. And I said, I know, Doc, I know. Long story. But you do have an enlarged prostate, and we should probably keep an eye on it. Could turn into something down the road. So now I'm sitting here thinking, what if I actually manifested this? What if I lied myself into almost having the thing I said I had?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, enlarged prostate is a serious matter. And maybe you should get some help from one of our sponsors here, the coffee enema. Maybe if you, you know, a large prostate is a serious matter. start doing that coffee enema nightly, it'll help your prostate tumor along. And then you're scot-free. Then you'll have the prostate cancer and you'll be honest with people going forward and you'll die an honest man.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>Luke, I cannot believe you just try to sell me a coffee enema while I'm having a moral crisis. That's beautiful. That's why I listen to this show.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It is a thing of beauty. It's really going to change your routine. That's what they say in the old ad. But, yeah, sir, I think you're a seriously disturbed individual. I don't know who watches Dune 2 three times. That's a long movie. I think you might be on your own with this one. And maybe you should try to stick to the truth going forward and just sit through the awful wedding as opposed to getting a whole town morning for you and running fundraisers.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>You're right. You're absolutely right. But the worst part is I've been using some of that GoFund me money.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Of course you have.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>But like, I fixed my transmission.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know, I've had some time to think about this, and I'm going to change my stance. I think what you should do tomorrow is get yourself down at the town hall and run for office because I think you'll really get the sympathy vote and you, I think you have what it takes to be a politician. And you might really be able to make yourself some real money in the politics arena.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>Luke, I don't have the stomach for politics.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You got the prostate for it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>Last time I tried to lie my way out of something, I ended up with a go-fund me and a cousin who shaved his head. If I ran for office, by the time the election rolled around, the whole town would think I was running for mayor and had terminal cancer. Next thing you know, I'm getting a key to the city and a funeral plot in the same ceremony.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that sounds like a win-win, sir. Then all the problems are solved with that one small act of civic service.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>You know what, Luke? You might be onto something. I could be the first mayor of Hatch to campaign from a coffin. Vote for Otis. He's already given everything for this town. Put that on a bumper sticker. My campaign slogan could be, I've got nothing left to lose, literally. But seriously, I still got to figure out what to tell my mom.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think you've got to tell your mom that your stomach is upset and you're not feeling very good and you don't think you have much longer left. And hopefully, she gets worried enough that her heart goes into cardiac arrest and then you don't have to worry about that problem anymore.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>Jesus, Luke, that's dark even for you. My mom's the only person in this whole mess who actually cares whether I live or die.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What are you talking about? The whole town care. You get them all out there and shaving their heads and shit. Everybody cares if you live or die. Or at least they want people to think they care if you live or die. Either way.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>You're right. That's the problem. They all care now because I'm dying. Six months ago, nobody gave a damn. I was just Otis, who works at UPS, and tells bad jokes at the bar.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, Otis, I don't know what else to tell you. I'm going to pray for you. I've heard that the power of prayer can do wonderful thing. So we'll hope that that enlarged prostate turns into a tumorous prostate, and we can make an honest man out of you yet. We're going to have to go to the next caller now. I wish we had more advice for you, but you really fucked yourself on this one, sir. Do you have anything else you'd like to finish up with?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">OTIS</span><p>Yeah, Luke, just one thing. If this whole prayer thing works, and I actually do get cancer, I'm coming back on this show, and we're going to have a very different conversation about the power of your intercession. Thanks for nothing.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you know, you're welcome. I'll have a pancake for you, buddy. Next up, we've got Brandy. Brandy, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>I just found out my boss is planning to bail on the company I've been wiring solar farms for, and he has no idea. I know.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What do you mean bail on the company? A company that you're a vendor of, you're working with a partner of, you're working with a partner of, or is it the actual company that you work for.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>The actual company I work for, Solar Tech. I'm an electrician there, have been for eight years. My boss, Rick, was on speaker fund with some HR person, talking about how the CEO couldn't manage a lemonade stand, how the whole place is a house of cards, how he'd be gone by summer if they made it worth his while. I was just microwaving my desk salad in the break room.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, running a lemonade stand is harder than people might think. You've got to pay attention to the books. You might have to manage some employees, and then they're going to have sniffly noses and stuff, and then customers are going to get upset, and it's a whole big thing. So I don't want you to think that CEOs can't manage a lemonade stand. It's harder than you might think. What you just described to me is literally every business. It's all a big house of cards and a show. So I don't understand why this is bothering you. Who cares if your CEO is going to bail.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>Because Rick's the one who signs my checks, and if he's already got one fed out the door, that means my job's on a timer too. I'm not talking about some abstract corporate drama. I'm talking about the guy who approves my overtime, who decides whether we get new safety gear or keep using the same frayed gloves from 2018. If he's making exit plans, that's not just business as usual. That's me showing up to a job site next month and finding out the company's been sold off, or worse, that they've cut my departures to save on payroll. I've got rent. I've got a truck payment. I've got, look, I get that every company's a mess. But when the guy in charge of your paycheck starts treating the place like a sinking ship, you start wondering if you should have brought a life jacket to work.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, no, that's not really quite how it works. CEOs are like those sniffly noses. They come and go seasonally. They just swap one out with another one. And then he tries to make his initiatives known the company and be the golden boy for a little while, and then that fails, and then they swap him out again. And that's just how it goes.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>Rick's not the CEO. Rick's my direct boss. He's the operations manager. The CEO is the guy he was trashing on the phone. Rick's the one who decides if I get assigned to the good jobs or the garbage ones. If my hours get cut when things slow down, if I'm even still on the roster when he decides to jump ship, you swap out a CEO, fine, whatever. But when the guy who actually runs the day-to-day, starts bad-mouthing the company to HR and talking about his exit strategy, that trickles down to people like me real fast.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, not necessarily. See, if you're smart, then people like you trickle up to an operational manager. So somebody's going to have to replace the guy, and it might as well be you. That's what I say. So if I were you, you've got some insider information right now. I would be making some alliances within that company and trying to get my foot in the door for your buddy, Rick's job.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>I wire junction boxes and troubleshoot inferters when the monsoons fry the grid.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. I appreciate that. I guess I just needed to hear someone say, it's not the end of the world.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BRANDY</span><p>It's not the end of the world, Brandi. You're going to be just fine.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Thank you for the call. And now it's time for us to go to a word from our sponsors. And we're going to go to the coffee anima sponsor just in case Otis is still around because these guys could maybe help him out with his prostate enlargement. All right. I'm going to read this ad exactly as they sent it to me. And I want you to know that I have concerns. The branch wellness wants you to know that your gut health starts, and I'm reading this directly from the card now, from the other end. They make an at-home coffee enema kit. It comes in a box that says wellness inside, on the outside, which I think we can agree, is doing a lot of the heavy lifting. The kit includes a medical grade silicone bag, organic single origin coffee, because apparently the coffee you put in your, that that coffee needs to be single origin, a detailed instruction booklet, and a com card with a QR code to a guided meditation for during. During. There's a guided meditation for during. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your body. That's between you and your bathroom and whatever God you answer to. I will say the reviews are disturbingly positive. Four and a half stars. One guy said it has changed his morning routine, which I believe because it would absolutely change your morning routine. Phantom Ranch Wellness. I read the ad. I didn't endorse it. All right. And hopefully Otis was still around for that. He can give them a call and they can get him sorted. Next up on the line, we've got Keith. Keith, welcome to the show. What's going on tonight? How can we help you, sir?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I've been watching my 26-year-old stepson crash and burn through his third job this year. And he just posted this whole thing on social media about how they didn't appreciate him. And I'm sick getting here thinking we absolutely destroyed this kid's generation with participation trophies and constant praise for doing the bare minimum.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, why are you looking at it like that? And not that we've absolutely destroyed the workplace and people are not appreciated as human beings there anymore. He might be right. That's been my experience is that companies don't give a fuck about you. So why should you give a fuck about them?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">KEITH</span><p>Okay, but Luke, he got written up for being late five times in two months and his response was to tell his manager that the start time didn't align with his personal energy rhythms. His personal energy rhythms. This isn't some evil corporation grinding him down. This is a local marketing firm that gave him flex hours and let him work from home twice a week. They bent over backwards for this kid and he still couldn't show up on time or take feedback without getting defensive. I'm not saying every workplace is perfect, but at some point you have to ask yourself if maybe the problem is that we raised a generation that thinks showing up is enough?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I mean, I can ask myself that I didn't raise any part of this generation, so I take no part in it. But I don't know.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's hard to say because we've allowed a workplace environment where just paying the bare minimum is enough. So why isn't just showing up enough?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Because that's not how anything works, Luke. You don't get to coast in life and expect rewards. I run a logistics company. I've got drivers who show up every single day, on time, in the snow, in hundred 100 degree heat and they do their jobs without needing a pat on the back every five minutes. That's what adults do. But this kid, and I'm seeing it with the new hires too, they expect praise just for clocking in.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know, things change. I'm trying to play the devil's advocate here. I do agree with you on some level, but it's not. I can't just get behind that this new generation is shit. Because in my experience, the workplace has gone to shit and people are not respected and they expect too much all the time. Like, people will complain that people come into work and do the bare minimum while they pay them the literal legal minimum wage. There's no reward. What's the reward there? They can't even afford to live. That's not reward.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>All right, fair point on the minimum wage thing. I'm not talking about someone making eight bucks an hour at a fast food place. This kid was making 42,000 a year with benefits at a job friend got him. Forty-two thousand to post on Instagram and write email campaigns. And you know what his complaint was?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't care what his complaint was, really, because $42,000 isn't enough to wipe your ass. $42,000 a year is not a lot of money. That's about what you can expect somebody to just show up for. If you want to, like, what do you think $42,000 is? Come on. Can you buy a house with $42,000? Could you buy a car with $42,000?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Luke, he lives in his money. He lives in his money basement rent free. He's not trying to buy a house. And yeah, $42,000 for a 26-year-old entry-level marketing job in Salt Lake is pretty standard. I started at a warehouse making $19,000 in the 90s, which is probably like 35 now with inflation. And I didn't have my parents paying my rent.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, good for him, but we're talking on an overall level for all people. And because $42,000 is the standard, that doesn't make it right, and that's the, you're getting what you pay for. You get what you pay for. And if you're paying $42,000, which I don't know if you've noticed, but diesel is $4.15 a gallon right now. You're going to get the minimum back from them. If you're giving them a living wage where they don't have to, you know, worry about how they're going to make ends meet, after working eight, 10, 12 hours a day, posting stupid Instagram ads that some douchebag that doesn't know anything about marketing or graphic design has forced them to make. Yeah, that's shitty. It's a shitty job. It's a shitty workplace. And I can't really blame this new generation for being less than ideal workers because they're not being treated fairly.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Okay, but here's the thing. He was being treated fairly. This kid had a job that paid more than minimum wage with benefits, and he still couldn't hack it. And I'm not saying every workplace is perfect, but at some point you have to ask yourself, if you're not willing to put in the effort, why should anyone else put in the effort for you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm not seeing where any effort's been put in the effort in. The minimum... Where's the effort being expended here on anybody's part? And I'm not talking about him. You said the whole generation. I'm talking about everybody across the country that works for any company. Not just this one kid who may very well be a lazy douchebag with his personal energy rhythms and all that. I don't know. I don't understand all that. And it seems stupid to me, sure. But the larger point here is that companies are assholes and they don't deserve more than the minimum because they're giving the minimum.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You want to know where the effort is? This company gave him flex hours, let him work from home twice a week. His manager sat down with him personally to go over his performance reviews instead of just firing him. They paid for a LinkedIn learning subscription so he could build his skills. But the second he got written up for being late, not fired, written up, he quit and blamed them on social media. And Luke, I hear what you're saying about companies being assholes. I really do. But we can't just throw our hands up and say everyone's a victim.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's true. And if they did make real attempts to work in his personal development, then yeah, he was an asshole about it. Sure. But we can throw our hands up and say everyone's a victim when everybody's being treated as a victim. And I would say the vast majority of people in the new generation are being treated like expendable victims. They're not being taken care of. It's more expensive to live than it ever has been. And when you get a good job, There is no level of job security. They don't get a pension. There's no loyalty. They could get laid off at any minute for any reason. I'm not seeing why they should feel the same level of work ethic that you and I did 20, 30 years ago. Because the companies are not treating people in the same way. Generally, I don't know what happened at this company. And maybe this kid is a piece of shit. I don't know. What question are you asking? How can I help you here?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I guess what I'm asking is, am I wrong to think we screwed this up? Because when I watch this kid bounce from job to job, posting about how the world doesn't understand him, I keep thinking about those participation trophies, about how we told an entire generation that just showing up was enough.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know, because I was never involved in the whole just showing up is enough. I missed that whole part of when we told people that. But what I saw was everything that I saw in the news and everything that I experienced experienced in the workplace and oh, now, sorry, you don't get your bonus because whatever, because we decided you don't. Or, oh, we actually can't do performance reviews because, oh, I don't know, whatever. And, oh, you know what, we don't want to raise the minimum wage because it costs us so much money to do these ad campaigns for Ronald McDonald, whatever the fuck it is and don't have that, I don't know, personal experience there. Like, I don't have kids, so I didn't give anybody any participation, participation trophies. What I saw from the workplace, from the corporate environment, deserves what happened. Like, you can see why it happened.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm blaming the trophies when I should be looking at the fact that his mother has been bailing him out his entire life. She got him the job. She lets him live rent-free, and every time he quits something, she tells him it's because he's too creative for these corporate environments.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm sitting here mad at participation trophies when the real problem is he's never had to face a real consequence in his life because someone's always there to catch him.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Maybe. That could be. I don't know. But I've seen the world be not deserving of additional work ethic. We bail out the banks, too, when they fuck up and steal from us and do predatory lending. We're like, okay, well, you know, here's some money. And then they go spend that on their yachts publicly. Like, they don't even hide it. It's reprehensible. And then COVID happens. And then there's all that mess. And it's like every single event that you read about in the news about how the world works proves to these kids that the world doesn't give a fuck about you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but Luke, at some point you still have to show up for yourself. I get it. The banks got bailed out. Corporations are greedy. The system is rigged. But what's the alternative? You just give up? You bounce from job to job posting about your energy rhythms and wait for the world to change because that's what I'm watching happen. And it's not getting him anywhere.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Well, maybe he doesn't want to go anywhere.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Because like you said, he's well taken care of where he's at. He's not paying rent. His mother bails him out. That's probably not good when you're, what did you say, 26 years old? Maybe you've got to set him loose. Set him for real to figure out his way in the world, but you can understand where he's coming from and why he's not as excited and eager to show loyalty and work ethic in the workplace. Because why? Why would you?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because I don't want him to end up like me. I'm 52 years old, and I've spent my whole life working for a company that's going to replace me with a spreadsheet the second I slow down. I don't have a pension. I don't have a 401k that's going to save me. And I sure as hell don't have a mother who's going to bail me out when I can't make rent. I want him to have something I never did. A safety net, sure, but also the drive to build something that lasts.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Well, you had the drive to build something that lasts, right? And how'd that work out for you? You've got the work ethic of our generation, don't you? How did that work out for you? Your company doesn't give a fuck? They're not even going to wait for a spreadsheet to replace you next week with AI, like everybody else. So, I mean, they're going to replace you with the cheapest version of you possible. So maybe he's got it right by tapping out of the whole capitalistic industrial complex and following his energy rhythms. I don't know. He could be right. The new generation, you know, let them figure it out. We don't have to act like we know anything. We obviously don't. We fucked it all up.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know what? You're absolutely right. I spent 30 years doing everything I was supposed to do. Showed up early, stayed late, never complained, put the company first. And what do I have to show for it. A boss half my age who doesn't know what I do, a salary that hasn't kept up with inflation, and the constant fear that one bad quarter means I'm gone. Maybe he looked at my life and said no thanks.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yes. Maybe watching me grind myself down for nothing taught him exactly what not to do.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes. And here I am calling you mad that he won't make the same mistakes I did.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Exactly. You know, maybe they're on the right track. I don't disagree with them. Totally. I mean, I find it annoying too when people are lazy and are not able to do the job and dumb, but people have been lazy and not able to do the job and dumb forever. That's always been the case. You can't just blame this generation for it or say it's because of a participation trophy. It's not. It's because they watched us destroy society and it's completely fucked. And they don't want to participate. And I don't blame them.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, but then what's the answer, Luke? Seriously, if the system's broken and opting out means living off your mom's good graces until she dies, then what? What are we supposed to do? What's the middle ground? Because I'm not saying he needs to be a corporate drone, but he also can't just float through life waiting for inspiration to strike while his stepdad, me, is working his butt off to keep the lights on for everyone.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Well, I think the answer is enough of the people. The entire generation is tapping out. And then that grinds the corporations to a halt because they actually need people to do the work. And if they're not showing up to do it, then they're going to have to, you know, change their ways. But as long as there's people with the work ethic to do it, and get ripped off every day and go in with a smile, they're going to continue. They're going to continue doing what they do. And it's never going to get better. So I think it sucks that it's just him and you're on the hook to support him and maybe you shouldn't and he'll have to find his way some other way, whether by starting his own business or being a fucking TikTok influencer or making money, getting leads for companies, whatever it is that he finds himself doing to make money, he has to make money to do that, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a nine to five job for some company that's going to out him as soon as they can.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I hear you, but here's the thing. He's not out there trying to start a business or build something. He's just quitting jobs and posting about how the world doesn't understand his potential. And I get it. The system's rigged, but at some point you have to meet the system halfway.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Okay, well, you met the system halfway, and you must be on your way to retirement, right? Oh, no pension, right? No 401K, huh? So you're supporting him now with your bare minimum money, because $42,000 is really good in your mind, right? So when you get to retirement, if you ever get to retirement, who's going to take care of you?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Nobody. That's the answer, Luke. Nobody's going to take care of me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Well, you better hope that that kid figures it out then, huh?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, that's the sick irony of it, isn't it? I'm sitting here mad at him for not grinding like I did, but the whole reason I want him to figure it out is because I know I'm going to need him someday. don't have savings. And his mom, my ex-wife, she's not going to be there for me when I'm 70 and can't work anymore. So maybe I'm not really mad that he's lazy.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, well, that makes more sense. And hopefully, I mean, you should be able to talk to him and maybe tell him that and put it in his mind. Like, hey, I understand that working sucks. And maybe you don't want to do this traditional nine to five stuff because it doesn't sync You're going to have to come up with a way to make money, and then maybe support and help different alternative ways of him doing that. And maybe he'll remember that. And when you're 70 and need some money, he'll be making it if there's still money left at all that Elon Musk doesn't have.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know what, Luke? That's actually the conversation I should have had instead of the one I've been having, which is just me telling him he's screwing up and needs to get his act together. Because all that does is make him defensive and makes me sound like every other boomer telling kids to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Maybe if I actually leveled with them and said, look, I played by the rules and it didn't work out. So let's figure out what does work for you. Maybe that gets somewhere? I don't know. It's hard to admit to your stepson that you don't have the answers when you spent 20 years pretending you did.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, I can understand that. And I think that's the right thing to do. And, you know, maybe you two can together come up with a solution that makes you both money and start some sort of a family business where you're doing the kind of work that you want to do, making the kind of money that you want to make, working the kind of energy flow routine that fits with everybody's lifestyle. That's the answer. It's not telling him to grind. Because grinding gets you nowhere, and you're proof of that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I am proof of that. 25 years in logistics, and I'm one bad month away from being in real trouble. You're right. A family business. Something we build together. That actually makes sense.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, but don't pretend you know everything because you are a boomer, and you don't know everything. You don't know what the world is like today. You don't know what he knows about technology and about the trends and about what people his age are buying and want to put money towards. So take his lead and use his skills because he does have skills, even if you can't see them and you don't know what they are. They're there. And the boomers know, I mean, I don't know, Gen Z or whatever, Jen, they know what they want their world to look like. So if you can get on board with him, I think you'll do a better job than trying to force him on board with you.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're absolutely right. I don't know what I don't know. He grew up with the internet in his hand.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>He sure did. And he understands how it works more than you know. So listen to him. And don't write him off as a lazy kid.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Even if he is a little bit lazy, that's, I mean, you can work with that. You can try to impart some level of work ethic without pushing what you did. Because what you did didn't work. And it's not going to work. And it's going to work less and less and less every year that goes by. So you figure out what it is that he's got his pulse on.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>You're right. I've been so focused on what he's not doing that I haven't asked him what he is doing or what he sees coming. He's on his phone all the time, and I just assume he's wasting time. But maybe he's actually paying attention to something I'm completely blind to. I need to stop lecturing and start listening.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You know, that's something my mom did right when I was a kid. She got me a computer when I was really young and I spent all my time on that computer and everybody thought I was wasting time. wasn't wasting time. I was learning how fucking computers worked, and it was very lucrative for me in the 90s and 2000s. That's over now, but there was a time that it made me very, very valuable. I mean, more so than any of my teachers or anybody else that I even knew. So lean into what he's doing and support that, and it might pay dividends. That's my advice for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>That's good advice, Luke. I appreciate it. I called in here thinking I was going to vent about trophies, and instead, you just made me realize I've been the problem. I need to have a different conversation with him.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, man, and we can get rid of trophies altogether. We don't need trophies anymore. But thank you for the call. I hope that goes well for you. Let us know how it turns out, all right? Next up on the line, we've got Crystal. Crystal, welcome to the show. How can I help you today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So, I was out metal detecting this afternoon, which is something I do maybe once a week need to clear my head. And I found my phone. My actual phone that I lost two weeks ago, out past the old cemetery, still had battery somehow, which is crazy, right?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, not bad. That's a, that's a solid battery. You must have it on low power mode.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Right. Yeah, I must have. But here's the thing. When I turned it on, I had all these messages I'd missed. And one of them was from another parent on my this link to a news article about Coach Mike, our coach, the kids coach, and it's about something that happened 15 years ago in Arizona.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, first of all, it's crazy that you went two weeks without a phone and you didn't replace that shit immediately and get your messages. I don't know how you can do that in today's world, but besides that, this doesn't sound like it's going to be a good story. What happened to the coach? What the coach do?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>He was arrested for solicitation of a minor, 15, years ago in Tucson. He did 18 months, and I've been sitting in my workshop for three hours now, just staring at this article, because this is Mike we're talking about. Mike who brings orange slices in a cooler he hand-painted with the teen colors.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, Mike the coach. I mean, could you be more cliche? Of course. That's exactly what I expected when you said, coach.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>No, no, no. But you don't understand, Luke. This isn't just a coach. This is Coach Mike. My sister, she trusts him completely. He taught my nephew how to bunt for crying out loud. He shows up to every single game, even in monsoon season, when the rest of us are huddled under umbrellas, looking miserable. He's just...</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He's just a pedophile.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>I mean, yeah, I guess. But 15 years, Luke. Maybe he's not a pedophile anymore. That goes away, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know if it goes away. That's the thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>I keep turning over in my head. Like, he did his time, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think that's how it's supposed to work. I think once you've done your time for that, you're not allowed to coach anymore. So however he ended up being the coach is probably not okay.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>That's what I keep coming back to. Because there's background checks, right? There have to be background checks for little league coaches. So either he lied or someone knew and didn't care. Or there's some loophole I don't understand. And that scar over his eyebrow that he always jokes about, saying he got it sliding into home plate when he was a kid. Did he get it with a beer bottle knife?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, no, he said it was a baseball bat.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>But now I'm wondering if that's true. I mean, he's got this whole story about it, how he was showing off for his dad and slipped on the wet grass and, wait, why am I even telling you this? That's not the point.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, have you talked to anybody at the school or the team about this, the police even. I don't know if this is the type of thing that you want to take to a radio host if he's in close proximity to all your children.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>That's why I'm calling you, Luke, because I don't know what to do. If I go to the school, if I go to the league, I blow up my nephew's whole season. I blow up my sister's life because she's going to feel like the worst mother in the world for not knowing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, he might be blowing up more than your nephew's season.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Okay, so yeah, you got to do something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I know. I know that. But what if I'm wrong? What if there's an explanation?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Let you let the police figure that out. And they can do whatever types of investigation they have to do. But, I mean, you read the article. It's Coach Mike. I assume that's got a picture of him in it, and you've confirmed that it's the same Mike. And if you're sure, and he's the coach of Little League, you can't allow that to continue because it would make your sister feel bad if you said something. If he's continuing to do what he does to kids, he could be ruining lives, not seasons, lives, entire forever. And you can't let that happen.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>You're right. God, you're right. I've been sitting here for three hours trying to talk myself out of it, trying to find a reason why it's okay to just keep my mouth shut.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there is no reason it's okay. It's not okay for you to keep your mouth shut. If you've got that information, then you have to take get to people that can look into it. And if you don't, then you're, I mean, a rotten person.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>That's harsh, Luke. But yeah, yeah, I guess that's what I needed to hear. Because every time I pick up the phone to call someone official, I think about my nephew crying when they canceled the season two years ago for COVID. Or I think about Mike staying late after practice to work with the kids who are struggling.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I bet. He painted that cooler himself with all their names on it. Yeah, that's not creepy at all. Call the cops. Let him know. Jesus. Look at what's going on here. Uh, Mike's not your buddy.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>No, you're right. He's not. I don't even know him. Not really. I just know what he shows us. And that article, it was from Colorado 15 years ago. Inappropriate contact with a minor.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, every minute you spend on the line with me is another minute he could be doing some after-school tutelage with one of your children. So I would hang up and call the police immediately.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Okay. Okay, I'm going to do it. Right now, soon as I hang up. I'm going to call the non-emergency line and tell them what I found. And then I'm going to have to call my sister before she hears it from someone else. Because that's going to be a nightmare.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I mean, better to call her and find all that out now than to find out 20 years down the line that something was going on and you could have prevented it. So I hope all of that works out. Good luck to you. And I hope you continue to have a wonderful season. Jesus. And now it's time for some words from our sponsors. Are you tired of your protein having a shape? Introducing Meat Cube, the world's first geometrically perfect meat product. Every meat cube is exactly two inches by two inches by two inches of lab engineered protein that we are legally required to call meat adjacent. What animal is it from? Absolutely none of your business. What we can tell you is that Meat Cube has been approved by the FDA.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Not the American one, but one of them. Meat Cube is a shelf stable for 11 years. It does not need to be refrigerated. Honestly, refrigeration seems to make it angry. Each cube contains 40 grams of protein, zero grams of fat, and a faint electrical charge that our lawyers say is within acceptable limits. Meat Cube comes in three feet. flavors. Original, smokehouse, and, uh-oh. You can grill it, fry it, or just set it on the counter and watch it slowly rotate on its own, which it will do. We don't know why. Meat Cube. It's not meat. It's not not meat. It's not meat. It's meat cube. Available at grocery stores that have recently fired their health inspector. Use code Chew Harder for free shipping. We are back. Thanks to meet you for the sponsorship there. Next up on the line, we've got Slim. Slim, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Hey, Luke, thanks for having me. So I'm sitting here at this U-Haul place, right? Covering graveyard shift for my cousin. And a couple hours ago, these people came in wearing matching Taco Tuesday squad shirts. And I know that sounds like nothing, but it sent me down this whole thing about food appropriation. And I cannot let it go.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>let it go because food appropriation is not a thing, right? It doesn't matter. It's a taco. Somebody called in the other day all pissed off about Taco Tuesday, too. And you know what? You should be grateful that tacos are getting the attention they deserve. And it's not appropriation. People like tacos. Tacos are cheap and easy to produce. And they are a good seller for most pubs. So I don't see the problem here, but I'm not Mexican, so I guess I wouldn't, would I?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Wait, wait, wait, hold on, Luke. You cannot just dismiss this like that. This is exactly what I'm talking about. It is not about being grateful that white people like tacos. It is about the fact that my grandmother sold tamales door to door in the 50s to keep her family fed and got called a dirty Mexican for it. And now some brewery in Scottsdale is charging $18 for gourmet street tacos and getting written up in Phoenix Magazine like they invented something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>The problem is not that people like the food. Look, every culture's food is appropriated in this way. You're lucky that you're not the fucking French, because then you would have the Chris sandwich. How would you like that? The Chris sandwich? Uh, every, every single culture, there's fucking SpaghettiOs? Do you think the Italians like that there's SpaghettiOs that are made into alphabet letters so you can spell your name out on your fucking spoon? Enough. Enough. Enough with cultural food appropriation. You can't play the victim here when it happens to everybody across the board. There is no culture whose food is safe from marketing. Right? That's America. And go get yourself a whopper. You know, is that cultural appropriation? I think white people invented the hamburger. I don't fucking know. But Taco Tuesday is not a thing you have to be pissed off about. And I'm sorry that your grandmother was called the dirty Mexican that's not nice, but it doesn't have anything to do with tacos, Taco Tuesday, food appropriation, or restaurants.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>No, Luke, you are missing the entire point. It is not the same thing. When Italians get SpaghettiOs, nobody is calling their grandmother dirty for making pasta.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, the Italians were never called dirty? Have you ever heard of a greasy wop? A guinea? Of course they were. Every culture is made fun of and called me names and every single culture. We're talking about food, though, and every food is culturally appropriated and used by the marketing machine to sell more of them. Tacos just get it quite a bit because they're inexpensive to produce.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Okay, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the erasure that happens. It's not just about marketing. It's about taking something it of its origins and its cultural significance, and then presenting it as something new and trendy, often by the very people who look down on it to begin with. It's not just every food gets marketed. It's about who gets to profit, who gets the credit, and whose history gets conveniently forgotten. Like, there's this whole thing about how Mexican food in the United States, especially here in the Southwest, was developed by Mexican Americans by Tejano's, specifically to adapt to ingredients available here. And that was always looked down on as peasant food. But now you have chefs, often white chefs, taking those exact same dishes, putting a new spin on them, and suddenly it's elevated cuisine.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's never elevated cuisine. No, it isn't. It's Taco Tuesday. There's nothing elevated about that. It's cheap tacos that you get at happy hour. Two for two dollars or one whatever. I know that there is some elevated cuisine bullshit going on all throughout the country in all ethnic foods and non-ethnic foods. And at what point can you say what, like nobody owns a food. That's a silly proposition. And it is marketing. It is entirely marketing. And they're not just selling the food. They're selling the experience. They're selling the restaurant and the very well-trained waiters and the fancy wines and shit. So, no, I don't, I don't buy this. I just don't.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Luke, you're conflating two different things. The cheap taco Tuesday at the dive bar. Fine, whatever. But I'm talking about the boutique places. I'm talking about the James Beard nominated chefs who are doing modern interpretations of Mexican street food and getting all the accolades while the actual Mexican restaurants down the street that have been making the real thing for 30 years can't get a write-up in the local paper.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>They could absolutely get a write-up in the local paper if they wrote a press release and sent it to the local paper. And you called me talking about Taco Tuesday. Not talking about whatever boutique place bullshit you're babbling about now, James Beard,! Whoever the fuck that is. I don't care. This is stupid. It's a taco. There's not a whole lot to it. It's a tortilla shell with some shit in it. I don't know. What do you want? A cookie?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>No, I don't want a cookie Luke. I want you to understand that when a white couple walks into my workplace, wearing matching Taco Tuesday squad shirts like it's some kind of cute personality trait. It's emblematic of a bigger issue where my culture gets turned into a costume. And yeah, I started with Taco Tuesday, because that's what set me off tonight. But it's connected to the bigger picture. You're acting like I'm being precious about a tortilla, but what I'm actually about is a pattern where Mexican food was stigmatized when Mexican people made it. And now it's celebrated when white people rebrand it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't, I think what you're talking about is absolute bullshit. And I'm sorry if you feel like your culture has been appropriated by white people, but they're just trying to sell tacos. And you don't own tacos. They're not particularly special in any way. And I'm not going to, I'm not going to go where you want me to go on this one, because I Don't agree with you. This is a silly thing to be upset about. Yeah, people wear Taco Tuesday shirts because they like to go to the bar where they have Taco Tuesday because they can get two tacos for two dollars. It's not that big of a deal. It's not cultural appropriation. I agree that there is cultural appropriation all over in different ways, but food I don't think is one of them. And I think it's silly for people to get upset about it. Because what you're talking about, I've never seen a white person stigmatized Mexican food ever. In my entire, I'm 43 years old. I've never seen anybody badmouth Mexicans for making Mexican food. I've seen lots of people badmouthed Mexicans for other reasons. Some of them are funny, and they're all, you know, off color. But, uh, but not food. And that goes the same for every single other culture. Chinese people, African American people, Iranian people, Turkish people.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Go to San Francisco. You can eat at fucking sushi Rito. Sushi Rito! Luke, just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. My grandmother literally experienced it. She got doors slammed in her face in the 50s and 60s selling tamales in Tucson. That happened. And you're right. You're 43. You didn't see that because it was before your time. But the legacy of that stigma is still there.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's still there because you're holding on to it that was 60 fucking years ago. And I'm sorry that happened to her. That's horrible. And people were and mean, but that's not what's going on with Taco Tuesday and people wearing their Taco Tuesday shirts. So you can be as pissed off and as butt-hurt as you want about cultural appropriation of your tacos, but I think it's bullshit and you need to get over it. That's what I think. And if you're looking for a different answer for me, you're not going to get it because I just don't see how Mexicans specifically have been called out in this way. This happens to every culture, all of them.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You know what, Luke? You're right that it happens to every culture. But that doesn't make it okay, and it doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it. And yeah, maybe I am holding on to it. But when you grow up hearing those stories from your grandmother, when you watch her make food with her hands that people used to turn their noses up at, and then you see it repackaged and sold back to you as trendy, it sticks with you. You can call that being butthard if you want, but it matters to me. And the fact that you think it's silly doesn't change But it's real for a lot of people. I'm not asking you to fix it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, how do you think it even could be fixed? Do you want people to not eat tacos if they're not Mexican? Is that what you want? Do you want people to not have Taco Tuesday because your grandmother got made fun of 60 years ago for making tacos? Lots of things people turn their nose up at 60 years ago that they don't turn their nose up now. That's a little thing we call marketing. I mean, values and cultures change over time. And 60 years ago, this was a very very different country. I mean, we're going back to the way that that country was, and I don't think anybody's happy about that, except for the half of the country that is. But my point is, what would you like me to do about that? What would you like anybody to do about this? Because I think your argument here is it doesn't hold water. It's stupid. And you're pissed off for no reason. And I don't know what to tell you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I don't want people to stop eating tacos, Luke. That's not what I'm saying. What I want is for people to acknowledge where it comes from. I want the white chef who wins the James Beard Award for his innovative take on street tacos to maybe mention that he learned it from the Mexican women who've been making them in that neighborhood for decades. I want the food writers to cover the actual Mexican restaurants.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>With the same enthusiasm, they cover the boutique places. They don't want to go to the actual Mexican restaurants because they are largely dirty. Right there, small. They're crowded. They're a pain in the ass to get to. They're not going there. They're going to the nicer, cleaner, upscale places that are fancy. That's what they're writing about. That's what's making the money. They're not going to go to a Mexican street vendor and write an article about the old lady that's been making tacos for 60 years because it's not a story. And the James Beard Award chef was born 30 years ago. He didn't learn how to make tacos from the old Mexican ladies down the street. He learned to make tacos from fucking Taco Bell.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Jokita Taco Bell. You just called Mexican restaurants largely dirty, Luke. You hear yourself right now. That's exactly the stigma I'm talking about.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's because the Mexican restaurants I've been to are largely dirty. There's flies flying around. They're not, uh, they're not pristine. It's not fucking Caesar's Palace. And that's part of the charm of them. But you can't say they're not dirty. They are. They're not air-conditioned in a lot of places, and they're not clean in a lot of places, and that's, I don't know if that's a cultural thing, or if that's a money thing, or whatever, but it's not the same experience as going into a Michelin-Star restaurant. That's why you're not getting the articles written. It's not because they're Mexican. It's because the place isn't that pleasant to go into.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Luke, you're conflating authentic family-run places with dirty. There's a difference between a small operation that doesn't have marble countertops and a place that's actually unsanitary. And yeah, some of them are in strip malls or food trucks, but that doesn't mean they're dirty. The health department inspects them just like everywhere else. What you're describing as not pleasant is often just not designed for white customers. No tablecloths, no mood lighting. It's just good food. And the fact that you think that's inherently 30 says more about your expectations than it does about those restaurants.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Except I'm not talking about the ones that are strip malls and food trucks. I'm talking about the ones in Mexico that don't have air conditioners or people wiping the tables. And that seems to be okay there. And I don't know what health department is inspecting them, but I'm pretty sure there's none.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're talking about Mexico like it's some monolith, Luke. There are Michelin-starred restaurants in Mexico City with health inspections just as strict as anywhere. And yeah, there are small family-run places that might not have air conditioning, but that doesn't mean that dirty. You're acting like every Mexican restaurant is some back alley operation, and that's the problem. You're judging an entire culture's food based on a handful of places you've been to. And let me ask you this. When was the last time you ate at a Mexican restaurant that wasn't a chain or some upscale place?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know, some years ago, many years ago. But I have. And it was dirty. And I'm not saying unsanitary. I'm saying dirty, like with dirt in places. And, you know, I still ate there. I didn't feel it like it was unsafe. And stop putting words in my mouth. I'm not doing that. I'm saying they're dirty because they're fucking dirty, dude. I've been there. I've seen it. And, you know, the Michelin Star restaurants in Mexico City you're talking about. They're getting the articles written about them. They're Michelin Star. That's part of it, you know. You're talking about about little mom and pop places and then like trying to pin me as some sort of racist douchebag and it's not the case. So get out of here with your Taco Tuesday cultural appropriation. It's bullshit. And I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna let you put me in this position where I'm being an asshole about it. I'm not. I'm telling you what I see.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>And you're telling me what you see. I'm not trying to pin you as anything, Luke. I'm telling you that when you should, you're say Mexican restaurants are largely dirty. That reinforces a stereotype that hurts real businesses. And those Michelin star places in Mexico City, they're not the ones getting written about in American food magazines. When some white chef opens a taco spot in Portland.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, of course they're not. Why would they be? And how many, uh, Mexico City publications of writing about the taco place in Portland? Come on, where is your fucking argument here? What you're saying is nonsense.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>is that when Mexican food gets elevated in the United States, it's almost always by non-Mexican chefs who get the credit and the awards, while the people who actually created and preserved those recipes stay invisible. You're acting like this is just about who writes about what restaurant, but it's bigger than that. It's about who gets to profit from a culture's food.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Who gets taken seriously? And who gets dismissed? The Portland Taco Place gets venture capital funding, James Beard nominations, the family that's been making the same recipes for three generations gets gentrified out of their neighborhood.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That's the pattern I'm talking about.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I think that pattern is nonsense and it doesn't fit in the American, you know, you can't claim ownership of a type of food. That is silly. You can go anywhere in the world and learn how to make a meal and then bring it back and make a restaurant. That doesn't mean you're culturally appropriating and profit off the backs of generations of people? No. It's just not true. You want to be hurt about something and you're picking this to be hurt about and I think it's nonsense. I think it's fucking stupid. And I'm not going to agree with you. Unless you got some kind of real point here that could change my mind, I don't think you're going to because I don't see it the way you see it at all.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're right that anyone can learn to cook any cuisine. I'm not saying people shouldn't be allowed to open Mexican restaurants. What I'm saying is there's a double standard in how those restaurants get treated. When Rick Baylis opens a place, he gets profiled in the New York Times. When My Tia opens a place with the same recipes her grandmother taught her, she gets health code violations for keeping her comel too close to the prep station.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, because her comel is too close to the prep station, and she's not following the rules of the health board. She should get health violations for that. You can't just, that's what I'm saying. The Mexican restaurants that I've been to are largely dirty. And there's a reason that they're not getting the press that you want them to be getting. It's because it's not the same experience. And it's not something that people want to go spend a bunch of money on.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You just proved my point, Luke. You're saying Mexican restaurants don't get press because they're dirty and not worth spending money on. That's the stereotype I'm talking about. My tea is really. restaurant isn't dirty.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you just proved my point when you said, uh, your, I don't know what Tia is, that your Tia's restaurant got board of health violations for having the comel, whatever that is, too close to the prep station. That's what I'm saying. Like, you got to, you got to follow the rules. If it was the same experience as a venture capitalist funded restaurant with the marble tables and the nice mood lighting and the tablecloths and the, and the, the, the, air conditioning, then yeah, people might be more inclined to go spend a bunch of money there. But it's not that experience. It's hot. People are sweating. The food is too close to the other food. There's flies flying around. It's dirty and it's not. I mean, there's more to the experience of the restaurant than the food. The food is probably the least important part of the experience of a restaurant, especially when we're talking about what the press is looking at. And you're trying to say that we're appropriating your culture and trying to profit off your generations of talk. recipe, but it's a fucking taco dude. Stop it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Tia means Aunt Luke. And yeah, she got a violation because traditional Mexican cooking uses equipment that doesn't fit American health code standards. A Como is a flat gridal. It's been used for thousands of years to make tortillas.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, if you don't fit the American health code standards, that's a problem for Americans, and you were talking about America. How is this cultural appropriation or a double standard? You have to follow the rules that every other restaurant has to follow.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>That's exactly it, Luke. You're saying, follow the rules, like the rules are neutral. But the rules themselves are often designed for a different kind of cuisine, a different kind of cooking. So when you apply those same rules to a traditional Mexican restaurant, it creates an unfair barrier. It's not that her food is unsafe. It's that the way it's prepare doesn't fit into a box that was built for, say, a French bistro. And so then it gets labeled as dirty or unprofessional when it's just different.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, it gets labeled as dirty and unprofessional when it looks dirty and unprofessional, which a lot of the Mexican restaurants that are authentic that I've been to look like. Uh, so, yeah, I don't know what else to tell you. I'm sorry your culture's been appropriated by Taco Tuesday and you don't get enough write-ups in whatever Neither one of us is reading the chef magazine, so you're just looking to be pissed off tonight. And I don't agree with you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>I work nights at a U-Haul place, Luke. I'm not reading chef magazines either, but I notice when the white couple comes in, wearing matching Taco Tuesday squad shirts, like it's some kind of joke. Like my family's food is a theme party.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, you're just deciding to take it super personally and decide that they're looking at a like a joke when what they are really doing is wearing those shirts because they get joy out of tacos. So they're celebrating your culture's food. And I'm sorry it doesn't have your grandmother's fucking face on it, but they're just enjoying a taco. And you're taking it super, super personally for generations and generations of misappropriation. And that's wrong. I think it's wrong. And I think you don't have to be pissed off about this because it's... I can be wrong. I don't know. Like we both just said, neither one of us are reading these articles. So in the high end of things, I don't... I don't really know. Maybe you are appropriated and somebody's profiting off Mexican culture that isn't Mexican. I... I don't care.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You're right that I'm taking it personally. I am. Because when my abuela makes tamales for Christmas, it takes her to... days.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, good for her, and she's doing that as a labor of love for her and her family and for the tradition of your deep family culture. And that's a great thing. But I don't understand how that means the rest of the world is wronging you because they're not. Okay? Everybody's trying to make a book. Everybody's trying to get a bite to eat. And we don't have to give reverence to the people that came before us every time we ate a taco, a burrito or a sushi or a pasta primavera or a fucking baguette.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>You don't have to give reverence, Luke. But when Rick Bayliss gets a James Beard award and opens five restaurants serving the exact same food my Tia makes, and she can't even get alone to fix her air conditioning, because the bank says her business model is too risky. That's not about reverence. That's about who gets to profit from the food. And who doesn't? He learned to cook in Mexico, came back to Chicago, and now he's the face of Mexican cuisine to millions of people who will never set foot in a restaurant like my tears. And I'm not saying he's a bad guy or that he shouldn't cook Mexican food. I'm saying the system decides his version is worth investing in, and hers isn't. And that's the double standard I'm talking about.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're wrong about that because the system, I mean, the system isn't deciding that his investing in and hers isn't. It's deciding that he is worth investing in and she isn't because he's got credit, because he's able to pay those loans back, because he has a long history of being able to support the money that he's borrowing and make his investors money. And she likely does not. So that has nothing to do with the cuisine. And like we've already determined, this is, when we're talking about what food critics are looking at, the food is a very small part of Right? They're looking at the tablecloths. They're looking at how the fucking silverware is laid out on the tablecloths. They're looking at the decor around the building and the building itself, the real estate. This is all creditworthiness. It's not about the food. It's not about stealing your food.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Okay, but Luke, you just made my point.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're saying it's about creditworthiness, about tablecloths and silverware and real estate. But that's exactly what I'm saying the food is the same. The recipes are the same. Sometimes his are literally learned from women like my Tia.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Okay. And if women like your Tia had a creditworthiness, then they could borrow a bunch of money that they would have to pay back from investors and start a big fancy restaurant with a big fancy building and hire a bunch of people and the best waiters and then they could get those Michelin Stars too. Right? But they're not doing that. She doesn't have the money. She doesn't have the credit. She doesn't have an air conditioner that works.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're right that she doesn't have those things. But you're acting like creditworthiness exists in a vacuum. Like it's some neutral measure of who deserves investment. My tier has been running her restaurant for 22 years. She pays her bills. She employs six people.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>And that's great and that's good for her. But yes, creditworthiness is absolutely a neutral measure of who deserves investment. It is the primary measure of that. And if she were running her restaurant in America and paying the bills and keeping it in a perfect 800 credit score, and she would be much more likely to get the level of investment that she would need to start a restaurant like that. But she can't because she's busy doing her actual job, which is making tacos. So these guys got the money and they're investing it to make a big restaurant to get a bunch of critics to come out, so they'll pay a lot of extra money so that Taco cost $26.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Your Tia could do that too if she moved to America and worked up her credit and found some investors and did the same thing that he's doing. But as soon as something goes wrong for that guy, he's on the hook to pay all those investors back. So if she can support doing that, she has every... Well, I don't know that she has every affordability to do that, but she could do that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Luke, she is in America. She's in Tucson. She's been a citizen for 30 years. And she does have good credit. She pays her suppliers on time. She's never missed a rent payment. She owns her house outright. But when she applied for a business loan three years ago to expand her kitchen and fix the hayback, the bank said no, because her neighborhood is considered high risk. And her business model doesn't fit their lending criteria.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and that other dude probably went to 50 banks that also told him no for the same reasons. And he had to pick his place where the bank thought, all right, there's enough people with enough money in here to actually recoup our investment. And then he had to go to more investors so we could get more money so we could pay for the more expensive place so that the bank would actually give him more money so that he could make his restaurant. There's a whole thing going on here, but it doesn't have anything to do with stealing your culture's food.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Then why is it that when white chefs open Mexican restaurants in upscale neighborhoods, innovative and authentic. But when Mexican families have been running the same kind of place for decades in their own neighborhoods, it's considered risky. Rick Bayliss didn't go to 50 banks. He had access to capital and connections from the start because of who he is and where he came from.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe so. I don't know who Rick Bayliss is, but he very well could have had lots of connections from the start. And that would mean that he was more likely to pay back his loans. And the bank felt more comfortable giving him loans. And like you said, they're opening Mexican restaurants in upscale neighborhoods where the people have, you know, more money, more spending money to buy tacos. It makes more, it makes sense that the bank would consider them less of a risk than a neighborhood that was less upscale.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Of course. But Luke, that's the cycle I'm talking about. The upscale neighborhoods are upscale because banks invested in them. The neighborhoods where Mitea and families like hers live are considered risky because banks didn't invest in them. Redlining was legal until 1968, and the effects of that are still here. My Tia's neighborhood in South Tucson was literally redlined. Banks wouldn't give mortgages there, wouldn't give business loans there, and now 50 years later they're still using that same logic. Just calling it risk assessment instead of redlining.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. Well, I won't disagree with you there. And the banks are reprehensible. And they always have been. And they always will be. And there's definitely undertones of racism there. And there have been. But that's not the point of this conversation. Okay, the point of this conversation is you're pissed off that people are wearing Taco Tuesday shirts. And somehow that's cultural appropriation. And now we got in this huge fight about, about redlining and, uh, I don't even know how we got here. But I live in animus, New Mexico. Okay? It's population 200. And if I went to the bank tomorrow and said, I would like to start a Mexican restaurant here, they would tell me to go fuck myself. Because there's nobody here. There's nobody here. There's nobody here with enough money to pay me $40 for a plate of tacos. And it wouldn't happen. It would be a bad investment on paper, I mean, and that's not, it has nothing to do with race or culture or anything. It's money. It's all coming down to, can I get my money back? And if I were to do that, it would be a bad business decision. And the bank knows that. And they're not going to invest in something if they don't think they're going to get their money back from it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Look, I hear you about the money, but let me ask you this. If you opened a Mexican restaurant in Animus New Mexico and in failed because there wasn't enough demand. Would you blame the people who live there for not having enough money to support it? Or would you admit that the system set it up to fail from the start? Because that's what's happening here. My Tears restaurant in South Tucson does have demand. It's been packed every weekend for 20 years. But the bank still won't invest in her because of where she is, not because of her business. Meanwhile, some white chef opens a place in a wealthy neighborhood gets all the press and suddenly it's authentic Mexican cuisine when it's the same damn recipes my tea has been making for decades.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and how much money does your tea charge for a plate of tacos?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>$12. Three tacos, rice, beans, homemade salsa. She could charge more, but she knows her customers. A lot of them are construction workers, families from the neighborhood. She's not trying to get rich. She's trying to keep her doors open and pay her people.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so she needs a business loan from the bank for $3 million. How many taco plates at $12 does she have to sell to pay the bank back?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Luke, that's not a fair comparison, and you know it. She's not asking for $3 million. She wanted $75,000 to upgrade her kitchen equipment and fix the air conditioning so she could pass health inspections without constantly patching things together.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It is a fair comparison, though, because you're talking about these upscale restaurants that are worth, that are, the loans that this guy is taken out are not $75,000. This guy's trying to make an upscale restaurant so he can charge $75 for a plate of tacos and the bank's going to get their money back. That's why they're giving it to him and not to her. Because if she charged $14 for a plate of tacos, you wouldn't have that line there anymore. Because the people there largely, not all of them, but largely, can't not afford that. So it's a bad business decision.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>Okay, but Luke, you're missing the point. She doesn't want to be Rick Bayless. She doesn't want to charge $75 for tacos. She wants to keep serving her community at prices they can afford and still have a functioning kitchen that doesn't break down every other month. The bank won't give her $75,000 for that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>But they'll give some culinary school graduate with connections half a million to open a place that serves the exact sane food to people who can afford to treat it like a novelty.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, exactly. Yeah, they will. Because he's selling it for $75 a plate. He's making enough money to pay them back. And she's trying to do business as usual. Obviously, that's not working because it's not making her enough money to fix her fucking air conditioner. It has nothing to do with the food. Nothing. So stop trying to say that people are stealing your food and profanen it. That's not what's not what's happening here. It's not even what any of this discussion has been about. We're talking about real estate. We're talking about lending and interest. It has nothing to do with the food.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SLIM</span><p>Actually, Luke, it has everything to do with the food.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, my God, that's enough of you. Jesus Christ, Slim. Stop it. Stop it. I'm sorry that your Tia doesn't make a lot of money on her taco plates. It's never going to stop people from enjoying $2,000 at Applebee's on a Friday night. And you shouldn't be so pissed off about it. And I'm sorry that the bank treats your neighborhood with disrespect. It doesn't have enough money to support the investment. And whether that's right or wrong, I can't speak to that. I don't know what in what fucking neighborhood you're talking about. But I know they do some shady shit. And I'm not sticking up for the bank in that at all. Now I'm mad. And I want tacos. Okay. Next up we've got Lakeisha. Lakeisha, welcome to the show. Do you have something a little milder than that? I'm I got to ramp down.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, I appreciate you taking my call. Look, I just showed a house to a couple from California who spent the entire walkthrough on a video call with their remote work consultant, treating a four-generation cattle ranch, like it was just some backdrop for their Zoom meetings. And I cannot see. Stop thinking about it.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that sounds like a good thing for you, right? You're trying to sell the ranch. If you're trying to sell the ranch and they think it's nice enough to use as a backdrop, then they're probably likely to want to buy that ranch.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Yeah, I mean, you would think so. But here is the thing. They are not seeing it as a place. They are looking at square footage and internet speed like it is a hotel room with a good view. This property has a barn that is older than my grandmother. There is a hand and carved fence post with initials from 1947. And these people are walking past all of it, asking if the router can handle two simultaneous video conferences.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, why do you care? You're trying to sell the ranch. If they can buy the ranch and then let them buy the ranch and it sounds like a nice day for you. If you're, you have some emotional connection to this particular ranch, then buy it yourself. Or, you know, take it off the market.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>I cannot afford it, Luke. real estate for 23 years and I cannot afford half the properties I show. That is not the point. The point is I watched the family who built that place. Lose it to foreclosure after the drought killed Bear Herd three years running. And now I am handing the keys to people who see it as a tax write-off with rustic charm.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, that sounds like a sale to me. Congratulations.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>You are not hearing me. I am the one who had to sit across from Bill Henderson when he signed those years old, fourth generation on that land. And his hands were shaking so bad I had to help him hold the pen. And tonight I am showing his life's work to people who do not even know his name. Who are going to gut the place and turn it into some kind of remote work retreat, with Edison bulbs and reclaimed wood that was already there to begin with?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I'm hearing you. I do not care. You're selling real estate. It is real estate. It was foreclosed on because it wasn't paid for. For whatever reason and now it's up on the market. And somebody's come in that wants to buy the place, and it's your obligation to sell it to them.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>You are right. You are absolutely right. That is my job.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And if you're going to get emotionally tied up in these properties and the stories behind them, then maybe it's the wrong job for you.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Maybe it is. But I have been doing this since before my husband died, and I have never felt like this before. I have sold dozens of foreclosures, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Foreclosures are largely very sad, especially when it's a generational property like that, but they happen. And that's your business. So you can't hold on to the property and sell it to only somebody that's going to see the same story in it that you see because they're coming from a different place. They have different lives. It doesn't mean they're not going to respect the property just because they're working there and changing the light bulbs. They might love it just as much as you do. But in a different way, and for different reasons.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>I know that. I do. But these people, this couple, they were on a Zoom call the entire time. The wife was in California. The husband was in New York. And they were both on the call with their remote work consultant. While I was showing them the property. They kept asking if the barn had good acoustics for podcasting. They did not even step outside to look at the sunset over the valley. They did not even see it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's none of your business. It doesn't matter what they saw in the property, but if they saw something that they wanted in the property, they're going to buy it. And that's great for everybody. Because the alternative is they don't buy it and it's still foreclosed and then it sits there and rots until it falls down. So they're going to put the care and love into it and pay the bill probably because they're doing the work that the cattle drought isn't going to take away. And they might be there for four generations. And a hundred years from now, somebody might have the same problem if it gets foreclosed. But you can't be this invested into a property if you're a real estate salesperson. That's just not good business.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>You are missing what I am trying to say. This is not about one property. Three months ago, I almost called this show about something else entirely. I saw lights over the Players Valley. Hovering lights.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I hear exactly what you're saying. I'm not missing what you're trying to say. I'm not missing what you're trying to say, say, oh, what you're trying to do is whine about these people that you don't like coming in with their newfangled podcasts and moving into a ranch that holds some meaning to you. And it's your job to sell it to them. So what were the lights over the Plyas Valley?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>They were not airplane lights. I have lived here my whole life. I know what planes look like, what drones look like. These were different. They moved in ways that did not make sense.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. So you saw what aliens? Did they take any cows or any horses or do you have any evidence? You take any pictures? You know that there's a lot of military activity in Plias. It's a military town that they do tests over. That's what I would expect in Plias.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>I know about the military. That is what I told myself at first. But I have been watching the sky here for 53 years. And I have never seen ever anything move like that. And no, I did not take pictures because by the time I thought to reach for my phone, they were gone.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, then, you know, that's exactly what I would expect to happen over a military compound. Is strange-looking planes and aerial phenomenon? It seems like quite a coincidence that you just happen to see these lights over a military town where they do military testing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>I am not saying it was aliens, Luke. I am saying I am saying I'm I saw something I could not explain, and it made me feel the same way I felt tonight watching those people walk through that ranch. Like something is changing, and I do not understand what it is, or how to make sense of it. Like the ground is shifting under my feet.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>And I am the only one who notices. You're not the only one that notices. Everything is changing because things always change and technology is changing and people's values are changing and the world is changing. It's good or bad, that's a matter of personal opinion. But you're not alone in seeing the change.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe you are in the wrong position being so resistant to the change because it's going to happen whether you approve of it or not.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>I am not resistant to change. I have been selling real estate for 23 years. I have seen this town go through droughts. Through the mine closing, through the hospital shutting down. I watched my husband die. And I kept working.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. I get it. So what is the... Why are you calling me? What do you want?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>I want to know if I am losing my mind. Because I cannot shake this feeling that something is wrong. Not just different, wrong.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't think you're losing your mind, but you're not wrong that something is changing. I wouldn't say that it's right or wrong. And none of us have the completely to make that judgment. But it is changing and you don't like it, obviously. And I think you're going to be unhappy if you don't change your attitude about that and get on board with the changing tides because they're coming.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>It is not about liking it or not liking it. It is about what it means. These people, they look at a ranch that has been in a family for four generations, a place where people lived and worked and died. And they see a remote work consultant opportunity. They are not buying a home, Luke. They are buying a concept. And they are doing it with money that feels like it came out of thin air.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>A home is a concept. Okay? No matter when you bought it, you can put some other meaning to it if you like. It doesn't matter how many generations of people lived there before. It's a building on some land in a dust bowl, in a town that it's dead. You said it yourself, the mine is closed, the There's nothing left here. So if they want to come in and breathe some life into it with a remote work, retreat, great. This area needs a lot more of that to keep it alive so that it can support the other people that still live here on those ranches. Because their tax money isn't doing it. And who's going to fix the roads? And what if we need a hospital someday? Where's that going to come from? It's not going to come from anybody that's here today. We're going to need that money to come out of thin air. So good. Get them there at a sense and bulbs and be thankful that you made your commission.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>You do not understand. The commission is not the point. I have been doing this long enough that I do not need the money that bad. What I am trying to tell you is that these people are not coming here to be part of anything. They are coming here because land is cheap and they can work from anywhere. And when the internet goes out or the well runs dry or the dust storms get bad, they will just leave. They will sell it to the next person with laptop money and move on.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Good. Great. I don't see what the problem with that is. That's ideal. If people are coming here and paying taxes and not using the services, that's the best case scenario. So I don't know why you have these emotional ties to the land or whatever, but I live here. And I know that this place is a dust bowl shithole shithole. And it needs exactly that. There's nothing for them to be part of. So hopefully they can come and build something and other people will be part of that. And it can continue to support this area and this community because it's dying and everybody's leaving. And before you know it, there won't be any buildings left because they'll all blow down to the wind from lack of maintenance.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>You are right that this place is dying. But you are wrong about what kills it. It is not the lack of money. It is the lack of people who give a damn. My husband and I, we bought our house in 1994. We knew every person on our street.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I am not wrong. I'm absolutely right. It is the lack of money, because if there was no lack of money, there would not be a lack of people. There's no people here because there's no money here for them to make. If they could support themselves and find jobs and there was enough money to have things like hospitals, then the place would be thrive. But that's not the case. Everybody's left and most people that are still here are going to die soon. So unless we bring in some of that new blood and some of that new money, this place is not going to exist in 20 years.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LAKEISHA</span><p>Then tell me why three months ago I saw lights over the Plias Valley that I cannot explain. Tell me why they hovered there for 20 minutes, silent, not moving like any aircraft I have ever seen. Tell me why when I mentioned it at the four other people had seen the same thing and nobody wanted to talk about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because the Plias Valley is a military testing ground. That is why. Because extraterrestrial life, it would be very coincidental if they just happen to come down to Earth and do their little thing right over the military testing ground. There's a lot of other places that I think that the aliens would rather go. So I'm not super, super into the idea that you saw something extraterrestrial over the Plyas Valley. I doubt that very, very much. I know what the Plyas Valley is used for. I have lived here. Okay, enough of you too. And that is the end of our show, folks. I did my best. But Jesus, these people, wow, it is hard to give good advice to people that just don't want to hear the good advice. I'll do my best, though. We'll try again tomorrow, and we'll see how we do. Hopefully, better than tonight. I wish everybody a wonderful Monday and a great start to the week, and I'll talk to you again tomorrow.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 33: Late Night Confessions and Cosmic Comedies</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-03-11T11:35:42+00:00">March 11, 2026</time> · 1 hr 1 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">In this late-night call-in show, Luke hosts an eclectic mix of callers sharing their deeply personal stories and dilemmas. From Mavis’s mysterious cash gift to Chip’s adoption uncertainty, Nikki’s neighbor’s secret writing career, and Woody’s comedy struggles, the episode explores themes of relationships, identity, and unexpected life turns. Tune in for raw, unfiltered conversations that reveal the complexity of human experiences.</p>
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<a href="https://op3.dev/e,pg=46cfb731-b4a1-55e2-80f3-cadb1c6c18fa/podcast.macneilmediagroup.com/audio/@LukeAtTheRoost/episode-33-late-night-confessions-and-cosmic-comedies.mp3">Download the episode</a>
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<section class="episode-transcript">
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, welcome back. I am Luke, and I'm your host tonight for Luke at the Roost. This is the late-night call-in radio show where you can give me a call and tell me what's going on in your life, what kind of problems you have, advice you need, and I'll give you the very best top-notch advice. Humanly possible. That's what I'm saying tonight. Humanly possible. Nobody could do it better. If you'd like to give us a call, the number is two. 208 439 5853. That's 208-439 Luke. Sorry we didn't have an episode last night. I was sleepy and I didn't feel good. So I reached out and got us a new sponsor that helped me out with the situation. And now I'm feeling much better. And you'll hear more from them a little later in the show. But now it's time to go to the phones. And on the phones, we've got Alonzo. Alonzo, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life? How can I help you?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALONZO</span><p>about ranch dressing, and now I'm sitting in my garage at two in the morning trying to prove I was right about pizza toppings. I know how that sounds, but here's the thing, Luke. We have leftover pizza for Mama's Pizza on Stone, right? Good Pizza! She comes home, opens the box, and squirts ranch dressing all over a perfectly good slice.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Don't call me with this shit. This is stupid. If she likes ranch dressing on our pizza, fine. It's no reason to have a... this is silly. Do you have something real to talk about, or are you just gonna waste You're right. You're absolutely right. That's not why she left. Get to it. Tell us the truth. What is going on? And why are you calling a radio show at 2 in the morning?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALONZO</span><p>I told her the nun thing was just interesting history. That I was reading about Sister Teresa Regina Confroy, because she had the same name as her and died last August, and I thought it was worth mentioning. But Teresa looked at me like I'd brought a dead bird to the dinner table. She said, you looked up when a nun with my name died.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's a little bit weird. I've never heard of Sister Teresa Regina Confroy before, but can you fill us in on why she was a notable figure?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALONZO</span><p>Confroy, C-O-N-F-R-O-Y, she was 91 years old, passed away in New Jersey. She was not particularly notable, that is the point.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so you mentioned a nun died, an old nun died, and you mentioned this to your wife because they share a name, and she left?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALONZO</span><p>That's not, look, I'm not explaining this right. I didn't just mention it. I brought it up three times in one day. First at breakfast, then when she was packing, then again, when she was walking out the door. I kept saying, you know, it's interesting, a nun with your name just died. You ever think about that? And she kept saying, no, Rodney, I don't think about that. And I kept saying, well, you should.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What the fuck? What? What point were you trying to get across? Why?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALONZO</span><p>I don't know. That's why I'm calling you at two in the morning from my garage floor instead of being in bed with my wife. I manage timelines for a living.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, buddy. Well, I don't know that there's any advice that can help you with this one. That's a weird thing. That's a weird thing you're doing. Maybe apologize to her?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ALONZO</span><p>Yes, I want her to come back. Of course I want her to come back. And yes, I'm apologetic. But I'm also right about the ranch dressing. You can't just put ranch on everything and call it food.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, buddy, good luck with that. I hope it all works out for you, okay. dressing is not something to get that upset about. Next up on the line, we've got Mavis. Mavis, welcome to the show.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Do you teach typing?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh gosh, no. I work nights at the sudsy bucket laundromat over on Highway 60. But Luke, something happened tonight that I cannot stop thinking about, and I don't know if I should feel blessed or terrified or what. A complete stranger just handed me $500 in cash at a truck stop three hours ago and drove away before I could even say thank you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you don't see that every night at the sudsy bucket. So do you think it's real money? What did the vehicle look like that he pulled up in to give you the money? Maybe this is a pay-it-forward thing. Maybe he thought you were somebody else, or maybe just, I don't know, remember that movie where the guy felt like a jerk, so he, like, robbed a bank or something and then threw it out in the streets to everybody for repentance?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>It was a she, actually. woman in a Subaru with Colorado plates kind of beat up looking car and Luke she looked right at me when she handed me the envelope and said you look like you need this more than me that's what's getting to me what did she see in my face</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>the movie I'm thinking of is actually breaking bad when Jesse Pinkman felt repentance for his deeds after that little boy was killed and he went a little bit nuts for a while and threw his money all over the street neither here nor there. The important thing is, why did this lady give you free money? What did she see in your face? I don't know, do you need the money more than she did? Are you, are you well kept? Are you clean? Are you, like, fed and all that? Are you taken care of?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>I mean, yeah, I'm fine. I shower. I eat. I've got a roof over my head. But I was coming off a double shift and I probably looked exhausted. And my boyfriend and I have been fighting about money Somehow? Like, I don't know, maybe I have that worn-down look people get when they're counting pennies. The electric bill's overdue, and I've been picking up extra shifts, so maybe it showed on my face more than I thought. But $500, Luke? That's not pocket change you give to someone who just looks a little tired.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, no, it usually isn't, but I mean, maybe for her today it was. Maybe she was on a Jesse Pinkman-like quest to repent for something that she did. her money, you know, and she felt bad that she had it and was looking for something good to do with it. Like the guy that called in the other day who faked his cancer diagnosis, and then the town raised money for him. He felt bad about having that money. So maybe it's one of those situations. Maybe it's a Mr. Beast kind of thing where the money made from an event is then distributed to people that might need it. Who knows? Who knows? But if it's real money, if it's not counterfeit money, you might want to take it and check, then that was just a nice thing that a stranger did for you, and I don't think you have to worry much more about it than that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>You're right. I should probably check if it's real. I didn't even think about that. I've just been sitting here in the back office staring at it. But Luke, here's the thing that's really eating at me.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, yeah, what is it? Hurry up with it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>My boyfriend said last week we can't afford a ring, but this is exactly enough for the one I've been looking at. And part of me is wondering if this woman's showing up right after that conversation means something? Like the universe. is telling me to just do it myself. But the other part of me knows the electric bill is two months behind, and that's the responsible choice. I genuinely cannot tell if using this money for an engagement ring would be the most romantic thing I've ever done, or the stupidest.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It would be the stupidest, because that's not how it works, right? If you're going to get engaged to somebody, it's his job to get you the ring. And he has to go around to all your family and friends and listen to what you say and drop little hints to get information. about what you might like in a ring, and it's a whole thing. But it's on him to do. You can't force that engagement by getting yourself a ring. That's not only lame, but it's going to end poorly. Because if he's not ready to get married, he's not ready to get married. And if you don't have the money to get married, you don't have the money yet. You've got to pay your bills first, right? Or you will need that money.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Oh gosh, you're right. I know you're right.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>It's just, we've been together four years, and I'm 32, and sometimes I feel like I'm for him to be ready for something I've been ready for since year two. But you're absolutely right that buying my own engagement ring is pathetic.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's pathetic and wrong because you'd be forcing him into something he obviously isn't ready to do yet. And it's okay for him to not be ready to get married. That's a big decision and just because you want it doesn't mean he does. So I think you need to talk to your boyfriend and if you really need to get married for whatever reason, then maybe he's not the right guy for you. Maybe he is and he just legitimately doesn't have money right now. You should have that conversation. But if it's super important to you to get married and it doesn't seem that important to him, don't force him into it or 10 years down the line, you're going to be all pissed off at him.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>You know what, Luke? That's fair. I think I've been so focused on the timeline I wanted that I haven't really listened to what he's been saying. He's not saying no. He's saying not yet. And those are different things. And honestly, if I'm being real with myself, the reason that woman's $500. felt like a sign is because I wanted it to be one.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, obviously. Why do you want to get married so bad? Because this is the problem is that you really want to get married. You think when you get married, it's going to solve all the problems, and you're going to have this wonderful fantasy life like you have in your head. And, I mean, how's that going for you? Whatever it is that you're planning out or that you're seeing happen in the future for you, that's not what's going to happen. What's going to happen is you're going to get married. Nothing's really going to change. Everything's going to be exactly the same. and then you're going to feel lost because that goalpost has gone by and nothing changed. And that's what you are waiting for to fix however it is that you feel about yourself or what I don't understand why people want to get married so badly like you do. Maybe you can explain that to me. What is it about marriage that has got you looking at the timelines so intently?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Well, shoot, you really hit the nail on the head there. this feeling of security, you know? I see my friends getting married and starting families, and I can't help but feel like I'm falling behind.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you don't have to get married to start a family. I don't know if you have any religious beliefs, but biologically, it's not really important. If you want to have a family, you can have a family, but he might not want to have a family. It might not be time for him. And if that's something that's important for you, then maybe you need to find somebody that's sharing, your dreams and goals.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>You're right, and that's the conversation I've been avoiding, because if I ask him straight out whether he wants kids and he says no or not for a long time, then I have to make a real decision. And I think I've been focusing on the ring and the wedding, because those feel like smaller steps I can control, when really the question is whether we want the same life at all. God, that's terrifying to say out loud.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but that's the conversation you need to be having before you make those sorts of lifelong decision. Because you, I mean, you're watching all your friends get married and have families, but you don't know what their lives are like. You don't know what their marriages are like or how happy they are. You know what they show you and you know what they post on Instagram, but that's not real life. And maybe a third of them will stick together and see it through. And, you know, there will be happy newlywed couples and one of them will die. That's going to happen. And then where is that security? Right? But most of all, I probably, I don't know, two-thirds of these people are going to be miserable for years because somebody wanted to get married and forced it and somebody else acquiesced, and they don't want to be together.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>That's dark, Luke, but I needed to hear it. I've been treating marriage like it's this finish line that'll make everything makes sense, when really it's just the start of a whole different set of problems if you're doing it for the wrong reasons. And I think deep down, I know, my boyfriend isn't dragging his feet to be mean or because he doesn't love me.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, he's probably not. He's dragging his feet because he doesn't want to get married. And that's okay. And if you really need to get married, it sounds like it doesn't even matter to you if it's married to him. You just want to be married because that's what you do, right? You've got to be married or you're not living life right. And it's bullshit. And you don't do that. Or actually, it's him that's going to get fucked in the end. When you decide you're unhappy. because you're married now and you've got everything you said you wanted, but he's not the person you actually wanted. Then you're going to feel sad and you're going to get depressed and you're going to fight and then you're going to break up and then you're going to take all of his money.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Okay, hold on, Luke. I'm not some gold digger looking to trap anybody. I work 60 hours a week at this laundromat and I pay half the rent. I love him. I do.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you're not a gold digger now and you're supporting yourself now, but what happens when you've got to? the family. And then you're not working 60 hours because you're taking care of a kid. And then slowly you're learning that you actually don't even really like this guy. You just wanted to get married. And he was the first one that seemed okay and able to support you and give you the security you're looking for. And you're going to start to resent him. And he's going to start to resent you because you forced him to get married when he didn't want to. And in the end, you're going to be like, oh, you know what? I deserve that money because I didn't work for all this time because I had to support this family that you pushed for, that you just had to have so badly.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>You know what, Luke, you're being pretty harsh right now, but I called in at two in the morning because something in my gut was telling me, this didn't feel right, and maybe that's what I needed to hear, because you're right that I've been so focused on what I think I'm supposed to want, that I haven't really asked myself if this is actually what I want with this actual person. But I do think you're wrong about one thing. out how to take his money and some future divorce. That's not who I am.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I'm not saying that's who you are now, or that's who you're planning to be. I'm saying 10 years down the line, after years and years of resentment and not working, you're going to feel differently. And you're going to be upset, and you're going to feel like you got shafted, or somehow you were on the wrong end of this deal, and you're going to go after him, because that's what happens. Like every time.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Look, I hear what you're saying about resentment building up, and maybe you've seen that happen a hundred times on this show, but I think the real warning you're giving me is don't marry someone who doesn't want to marry you. Don't push someone into a life they're not ready for, because that's where all that misery comes from, right? So not from marriage itself, but from forcing it when it's not right. And I think that's what this $500 showing up out of nowhere was trying to tell me.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, that's what you want me to be saying, but what I am saying, but what I am saying, saying, yes, what you just said is completely true. You don't want to marry somebody that doesn't want to marry you. What I am saying to you is that you want to get married just to get married. And you could care less who the person is. And that is a recipe for disaster. Because no matter, I mean, if your boyfriend's like, you know what, I actually don't want to get married.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And then you go find somebody else that does, you're going to be like, great, we align. We want to get married. But you're not, you don't care who he is. There's no trait. You're looking to. before they, can he support a family? That's it. You're not into his sense of humor or the way he looks at you a certain way or whatever it is. It could be anybody. That person could be interchangeable and that is the wrong reason to get married. And I think no matter who you get married, if that's your goal, it's going to end the same way.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Oh gosh, Luke, that actually just hit me in the chest. Because when I think about why I love my boyfriend, I can tell you specific things. Like how he always warms up my car in the winter before I leave for work, or how at his own jokes before he even finishes telling them, or how he calls his mom every Sunday. But when I think about why I want to get married...</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You have no idea. You want to get married because everybody else is getting married, and because that's what you've been fucking socially programmed to need. That's the only reason you want to get married.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>You're right. I don't have a good answer for that. I want to get married because I'm 32, and my sister got married at 24, and my mom keeps asking when it's my turn. Every time I scroll through Facebook, it's another engagement photo. I want to get married because I feel like I'm supposed to. And that's exactly what you're saying, isn't it? That I'm chasing this thing that society told me I need. And I'm willing to use whoever's standing next to me to get there.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. There's only one reason to get married. And that's because you've been with somebody long enough. You know them well enough. You enjoy getting along with it. And you can actually see yourself for the long term, with that person, enjoying life together. And you realize that there's going to be hard times, and there's going to be good times, and you want to share the entirety of your life with that person through the good times and the bad times. That's why you want to get married. But that's not why people do get married.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>Well, shoot. Luke, I called in here thinking I was asking whether I should spend this mystery money on a ring or the electric bill. And what you're really telling me is I shouldn't be spending it on either one. because I'm trying to buy my way into something I don't even actually want for the right reasons. That woman who handed me that envelope at the flying J, maybe she saw something in my face that I couldn't see myself. Maybe she saw someone who was lost and needed a way out, not a way forward into the wrong thing.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't think any of this has anything to do with the woman that gave you the money. It's not a sign from anywhere. She gave you the money and that doesn't have anything to do with this conversation. What I think you should do with that money, uh, if we must, continue to talk about it is take it and give it to somebody else that looks like they need it. Right? Maybe that's the test. But obviously, if you're behind on your bills and you really do need it, then you should use it to pay your bills so that, you know, you can live relatively comfortably and okay with your power on for the next several months or however long it lasts you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>You know what? That's actually really practical advice and I appreciate that. I do need to pay the electric bill. But I think what I'm hearing underneath all of this is that I need to have a real conversation with my boyfriend, not about when we're getting engaged, but about whether we actually want the same life together. Whether I even want the life I think I want, because right now I'm sitting in the back of a laundromat at two in the morning counting quarters, and I don't even know if I'd be happy as someone's wife who doesn't work.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>There you go. That's the right answer, and that's what you should do, and just, you know, don't worry about getting married so much. It's not that important. If you're with somebody that you love, and you want to be with, that can be enough. If you want to have a kid, that's a different thing. Marriage doesn't actually have anything to do with the process of having a kid. So if that's something that you and your boyfriend want to talk through and work out, great. And if not, sleep on it for a while, because it's a big decision. But marriage, I think your motivation for it is coming from the wrong place. I think it's going to end poorly. And I don't think you should, worry about that right now.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAVIS</span><p>You're absolutely right, Luke. I appreciate you being so direct with me about this. I think I needed someone to just say it plain like that instead of letting me keep spinning around in circles about signs from the universe and what this money means. I'm going to pay my electric bill. I'm going to have an honest conversation with my boyfriend about what we both actually want, and I'm going to stop measuring my life against everyone else's Facebook timeline.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, good for you. And maybe you should take up teaching typing, Mavis. And now, ladies and gentlemen, this is a new sponsor that's very special to me, because I had a little bit of a tummy upset last night. I'd like you to give a warm welcome to our new sponsor. Born in a secret laboratory, somewhere between New Jersey and the Italian Riviera, Pesto Bismal was accidentally invented when renowned scientist, Professor Luigi, the basil brain Spaghettiini, dropped a jar of Pesto into a barrel of activated charcoal during a thunderstorm. Lightning struck. The beakers rattled. The lab assistant fled, and when the smoke cleared, Professor Spaghettiini gazed upon the swirl emerald paste and reportedly said words that would shake the world of digestive science to its very core. Mama Mia, I fix it the tummy. And with that completely unverified scientific breakthrough, Pesto Bismol was born. For too long, stomach remedies have been timid. Pink liquids. chalky tablets. Medicines that whisper politely to your digestive system. But Pesto Bismol? Pesto Bismol arrives with garlic. Yes, Pesto Bismol blends the bold, aromatic power of basil, garlic, olive oil, and Parmesan with the mysterious absorbing capabilities of activated charcoal, the same stuff used in water filters, art class, and occasionally by people who do grilling. The result is a rich green medicinal paste that coats your stomach with the comforting sensation of what can only be described as aggressive Italian encouragement. Upset stomach? Acid reflux? Take a spoonful of Pesto Bismol and let the herbal magic go to work. Pesto Bismol. When your stomach says help, say, mamma mia. Pesto bismol has not been evaluated by the FDA, the USDA, the Italian government, or anybody's grandmother. Side effects may include green teeth and serious confidence in attracting neighborhood pigeons who believe you might be a breadstick. Okay, and we are back thanks to Pesto Bismol. They've been really helpful overnight here. The household. All right. Next up, we've got Earl. Earl. Earl, welcome to the show. How can we help you today, sir?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Thanks for taking the call, Luke. So I'm sitting in the break room at the bank where I work, two in the morning, holding this Father's Day card my daughter made me when she was seven. Construction paper, glitter glue, says, world's best dad. I found it in the trash compactor about an hour ago because my boss made me throw out all personal stuff yesterday. Thing is, I've spent 14 years keeping a secret from this kid about who her real father is, biologically speaking, and I just realized while I'm sitting here that I already am her real father.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, there's a couple things there. Isn't a trash compactor, like, in the sink? Isn't that the thing that, like a garbage disposal? Or is the trash compactor a different thing?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Different thing. It's a room in the back of the building where all the trash from the offices goes.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I'm sitting here at two in the morning holding this thing, and I realized I've spent 14 years worrying about whether I'm her real father when the answer's been sitting in my desk drawer the whole time.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What do you mean you're worrying about if you're her real father? You know that you're her real father already, right? I don't understand. Why are you calling me?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>so focused on the biology part, on the secret, on whether it counts if she doesn't know the truth, that I forgot I already am her dad. She made me that envelope 14 years ago. She's called me dad since she was four, and I'm still acting like I need permission or proof or something. Finding it in the trash tonight, I don't know.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I don't know either, sir, but it sounds like you love your daughter and she loves you ever after. I'm not sure why you felt the need to call a radio show with that, but I hope everything works out for everyone. Next up, we've got Nikki. Nikki, welcome to the show. How can we help you today?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. Hi. Okay, so I'm calling from work. I'm a nurse. I work nights at a dialysis center over in Deming. And I just, I cannot stop thinking about this and I need to talk to somebody about it because it's so bizarre. So I live in this little duplex, right? And my neighbor, Carol, lives on the other side. side of the wall. Carol is like the most buttoned-up person you have ever met in your life. She wears cardigans with little embroidered flowers on them.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>She sounds like a Carol. That sounds like a very Carol-like thing to do. Tell us about what's going on.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Okay. So Carol is one of those people who, like, she returns my mail to me with post-it notes on it if it accidentally gets put in her box. The notes say things like, please remind your postal carrier of proper mailbox protocols. That's the kind of person we're talking about here. She drives a beige camry. She has a bird feeder, very quiet, very proper. So the other night, I'm on Amazon trying to buy new compression socks because my feet are killing me from these doubles, and I'm scrolling through my recommendations, and suddenly it's just full of these romance novels.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and why is that interesting?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Because they're all written by someone called Scarlet Spurs, and they all have these titles like Roaked and ruined. and the rancher's rough hands. And the covers are just, I mean, cowboys without shirts. Very explicit situations. And I'm thinking, why is Amazon showing me this? I don't read this stuff.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Sure, pal. I think we know why Amazon's showing. Is this dirty Carol in your duplex? She lives a double life as a smut writer?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Yes, exactly. So I click on one of them just out of curiosity, right? And I start reading the sample pages. And Luke, I swear to you, all these weird little ticks that are exactly how Carol talks. Like, the author is obsessed with describing turquoise jewelry in this really specific way. The turquoise caught the light like a piece of captured sky, and Carol wears turquoise every single day and she's always saying stuff like that about it. And there's this thing where the characters are always making observations about proper etiquette in the middle of these incredibly graphic scenes.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, this all sounds largely circumstantial. Is there anything more there that makes you think that this is actually... Is her name anywhere to be seen? There's a lot of people that like turquoise.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>No, no, her name isn't anywhere. But, okay, so I'm reading this one scene where the cowboy is demonstrating his expertise with a lasso, and the author describes it as the rope biting into his calloused hands, the way his muscles coiled like a spring beneath his sun-bronced skin. And I'm thinking, that's weirdly specific, right? But then I remember Carolsian. Carol came over last month to borrow my ladder because she said she needed to clean her gutters.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>And she was wearing these gardening gloves, and she kept talking about how the rope was digging into her hands while she was trying to reach up there. And she said it exactly like that, the rope biting into my hands. Same phrasing. Same weirdly formal way of putting it. I don't know. It sounds like you're trying to make an association here, because this is, anybody could have written this. And who cares if she wrote it? Do you ever hear anything weird coming from that other side? of the duplex?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, that's the thing. It's dead silent over there. Like I work nights, so I'm home during the day sometimes, and I never hear anything. No music, no TV, just her typing.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Yeah, that's because all of our companions are strapped up with ballgags. I don't see why this is bothering. I don't think that you can say from just those things that this is Carol next door writing these books. And even if it is, who cares? People need a second job. Maybe that's how she off steam. It's always the most buttoned-up people that are the most kinky.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Okay, but here's the thing that really sealed it for me. I went back and looked at all the books by Scarlett Spurs, and every single one of them is set in southern New Mexico. Like, one of them takes place at a ranch outside of Deming. Another one has a scene at the Rockhound State Park.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, none of this is enough to pin it on Carol. And why are you trying to, and why do you care? I mean, if you enjoy the books, read the books.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>I don't enjoy the books. I mean, okay, I read three of them, but that's just because I was trying to confirm it was her. And now I can't look at her the same way. Like, yesterday, she knocked on my door to tell me that I'd left my recycling bin out past the pickup time, and she's standing there in her little cardigan with her turquoise necklace, giving me this lecture about neighborhood standards. And all I can think about is the scene I read the night before, where the protagonist is tied up in a barn, and I mean, I can't even make eye contact with her anymore, Luke. She brought me a casserole last week because she heard I was working doubles, and I just stood there thinking about Chapter 7 of branded by the foreman.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it sounds like maybe you're the one with the dark fantasies and desires here, because you're getting awful deep into these Scarlet Spurs books. But what I say is, who cares if she's tied up in a barn getting her needs met? That's her business. It has nothing to do with you. And if you're getting off reading it, then great. Everybody wins. That's what we call a win-win.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>I am not getting off on it. I'm just, Luke, you don't understand. This woman left me a passive-aggressive-aggressive note last month because my wind chimes were creating unnecessary noise pollution. Wind chimes.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, there are some wind chimes that are legitimately fucking obnoxious. So if Carol likes her dark-beating, ESM alter ego, good for her. It's still none of your business, whether she likes turquoise or wants you to pick up your recycle bin on time. Like, none of that is relevant to this conversation.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Okay, fine. Maybe it's not my business. But now I have to decide. Do I say something to her? Because part of me wants to just let her know that I know, so we can both stop pretending. Like, maybe she'd relax a little if she knew someone wasn't judging her for it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you don't know, you think, you suspect, and you are judging her for it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>I'm not judging her. I'm just, okay, maybe I am a little bit, but not for writing the books. It's more like, how do you spend your whole life policing everyone else's behavior when you're writing about cowboys doing things with rope that have nothing to do with cattle? Like, the hypocrisy is what gets me. She reported Mrs. Vasquez's two houses down for painting her mailbox the wrong shade of beige, Luke.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's not, uh, that is not hypocrisy. Anybody can write what they want on their own time. That doesn't mean that she can't, uh, be critical of other people in enforcing the rules. I don't see how those things are related. Uh, her alter ego, Scarlet, Spurs, if that's, if that's her real name, uh, is, is,! is her fictional way of releasing Steam. And everybody's entitled that. It's not your business. If you like the books, buy the books and support who you. you think might be your neighbor. But, uh, otherwise, you're absolutely judging her. And I don't see how you can, uh, not see it that way.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>You're right. You're completely right. I am judging her. And that's not fair. I think what's really bothering me is that I've spent two years tiptoeing around this woman, being so careful not to upset her, moving my trash cans to the exact right spot, keeping my music down. And now I find out she's got this whole secret life. And I'm wondering why I've been giving her so much power over me. Like, why do I care so much what Carol thinks about my wind chimes when Carol is out here writing about? Never mind. The point is, maybe this says more about me than it does about her.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It absolutely does. Who cares what Carol's writing about in her free time? She's free to write about whatever she wants. She's not breaking any rules. She's not bothering anybody with her books. She's releasing them on Amazon, allegedly. And she's able to do that. And that's a. creative outlet, it's fine for her. And if that's what gets her off, great. And you don't even know that she's into that. She might just be writing that stuff because that's what sells. Because it does.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>That's true. I mean, she's got like 47 reviews on the last one, and they're mostly five stars. So clearly somebody's buying them. And you know what? Maybe I'm just jealous. I've been talking about writing something for years. I keep saying I'm going to write about what it's really like working in healthcare. All this stuff nobody talks about, and I never do it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that sounds like a real bestseller. Uh, hey, you ever let anybody tie you up?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>What? No. Luke, what does that have to okay once? But it was awkward and we both just kind of laughed and gave up. Why are you asking me that?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, because it's interesting, and because you bought three of these books, and you're pretending to be appalled by the subject matter, but obviously you read them all, so it must have... sparked some interest in you. And I'm just trying to get to the bottom of who it is I'm talking to. You know, do you like to be bound up a little bit?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>I, okay, this is not where I thought this conversation was going. I bought them because I was curious what Carol was writing. Not because, I mean, they're not badly written. I'll give her that. She's got a way with description that's very detailed.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, what went wrong when you were tied up in that experience of yours? You say you just felt awkward. laughed it off. Why was it awkward? Was he not good at tying? Were you able to get out too easily? What kind of rope did you use? Give us some details.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Oh my God, Luke. This is so embarrassing. It wasn't even rope. It was a bathrobe belt, which should tell you how prepared we were for this. And yeah, I could just slip right out of it. And he kept trying to make it tighter, but then it would come undone. And at one point, he accidentally elbowed me in the face trying to reach around. And we just both started laughing we had to stop. This was like six years ago with my ex-boyfriend Derek, who was very enthusiastic about trying new things, but not great at the execution part. He once tried to cook me a romantic dinner and set off the smoke alarm three times.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what if, uh, what if your friend's Scarlet Spurs there could introduce you to somebody that knew how to tie a knot?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Oh, I don't know about that. I think I'd rather just stick to my wind chimes and my quiet life. Besides, I don't need Carol or Scarlett or whatever. setting me up with some cowboy who's going to show up at my door with a lasso and a six-shooter.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>I've got enough on my plate with work and my mom calling me every other day to ask why I'm not married yet. But honestly, the real kicker is that I like Carol.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, Carol sounds like a delightful individual. And thank you for the call. It's been great talking to you. And I think maybe you should lighten up a little bit about Scarlet Spurs or at least enjoy. You don't have to pretend to us at home that, uh, that you're just reading this for research on your neighbor. It's okay for you to like the bondage. A lot of people do.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NIKKI</span><p>Okay, okay. I hear you. Maybe I'll give book five a try without all the judgment. Thanks for listening, Luke. Even if you did just psychoanalyze my sex life on the radio at 3 in the morning. Take care.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I didn't psycho analyze anything. Nikki, you're the psycho here. You're the one that's fucking trying to pin, uh, smut books on your, on your neighbor Carol. I didn't do any of that. Okay. Uh, let's see. Let's see. Who's next? Who's next? Ah, here we got Chip. Chip. Chip, welcome to the show. What's going on, buddy?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Luke, okay, so picture this. I'm standing in my kitchen at two in the morning. Right? And Teresa just got home from her shift. And I'm holding this printout of an email. And I just told her everything. The lawyer, the birth mother, the photo, all of it just laid it out there. And you know what she said? She said she already knew.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, are you the guy who's, uh, who's adopted daughter was stolen from Africa?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Guatemala, Luke. Guatemala. Yeah, that's me. But listen, that's not even the crazy part. Teresa said she's known for three weeks. Three weeks.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you've known for a while, too, and you were, you never had the right time to tell her. So what's the problem here? You both need to communicate more, is what I say.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>No, no, no. No, no. hearing me, I found out five days ago. Five days. Teresa's known for three weeks.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yes, yes, yes. I am hearing you. I'm hearing exactly what you're saying. It's not interesting. I don't care how long she's known. What happened next?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>She got the same email two weeks before I did from the same lawyer. And she didn't tell me. She's been sitting on it this whole time, watching me stress about whether to tell her. And she already knew.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, get over it, buddy. It's not that big of a deal. What are you guys? I mean, who cares? You're, what are you going to do next? What's your next step here? Are you going to set up visitation with the birth mother? Are you going to talk to your lawyers? What's the plan forward? This isn't a story about how you're not talking to each other about what emails you're getting. Come on.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Okay, okay, you're right. So Teresa wants to meet her, the birth mother. She wants to fly down there next month with our daughter and just do it. No lawyers, no verification. Just go.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And how do you feel about that? What do you think? What would you like to happen here?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>I think it's insane, Luke. We don't even know if this woman is real. We don't know if the photo's legit. We haven't verified anything with our adoption agency. And Teresa wants to just put our eight-year-old on a plane to Guatemala to meet some stranger who says she's her birth mother, based on an email?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, the last time you called her and you said it was more than an email and that your lawyers had confirmed that the image was real, and that that was verified and authenticated. So, uh, I, what's the problem here?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>No, I said I was going to get a lawyer to verify it. I haven't done that yet. That's what I've been trying to tell Teresa. We need to slow down. Get someone to actually check this out before we do anything. But she's acting like I'm the one being unreasonable.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, that's not what you said at all. You said that the photo was verified. I can go back to the tape if you'd like me to, but why are you lying to us? Why are you lying to the studio at home? What are you afraid of, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>I'm not lying, Luke. I swear. I said the photo looks real, that the smile was exact. But I never got it verified. I've been too paralyzed to even call a lawyer. That's the whole problem.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, no, it's not the whole problem. The problem now, is that you're lying to me. Either the last time you called in, you lied, or you're lying now. Either way, you're not telling the truth, and I want to know why.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Okay, so picture this. I'm sitting in the laundromat at midnight five days ago. I just got this email. I'm freaking out. Maybe I said things wrong. Maybe I made it sound more certain than it was because I was trying to convince myself it was real. Or maybe I was trying to convince myself it wasn't. I don't know, Luke. I've been spinning out about this for two weeks.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, this is a very important detail, and it's important to how the remainder of this conversation and your life goes. Okay, so you told me the last time you called in that you verified that photo, and you were absolutely sure that the birth mother was real. And now you're saying you don't even know who she is, or if that photo is real, and your girlfriend's going to take your daughter away. So there's two very different stories here, and we need to know which one is the truth.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>The truth is, I don't know if it's real. I haven't verified anything. I looked at that photo for hours, Luke, and that smile is identical to my daughters. The crooked tooth, the dimple on the left side, everything. So in my head, it felt verified. It felt true. But I never actually called anyone.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, that's not what you told me before, all right? So if this is the case, if this is the truth, and you're not absolutely sure that this woman is real and that photo is verified, then I would say you can't let them go to Guatemala. insane. Okay, that could be anybody. That could be a kidnapping attempt for all you know. It's, uh, it's very fishy. It's very, very fishy.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>That's exactly what I told, Teresa. But she's saying, I'm just scared that I'm looking for excuses to avoid the truth because I don't want to deal with it. She thinks I'm being a coward. And maybe she's right, Luke. Maybe I am scared. Because if this woman is real, if she really is the birth mother, then everything about our family changes.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Not really, no, it doesn't really change. But what would change is if she flies out to Guatemala with your kid to a place where you strongly suspect and even know that they steal children and your child gets stolen, then your family is going to change. So my advice for you is to talk to Teresa and tell her absolutely not. And if the birth mother wants to meet her daughter or, meet you first would be my recommendation. She can fly to America where you're somewhat protected.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>You're right. You're absolutely right. But Teresa's already looking at flights, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you have to do what you have to do. If Teresa's looking at leaving the country with your daughter and you don't approve, then go to the police and put a restraining order if you have to. You can't let that happen.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>A restraining order against Teresa? Luke. She's not some criminal. She's my girlfriend. We've been together for years. She's just trying to do what she thinks is right for our daughter. If I go to the police, that's it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, okay. Well, you don't go to the police, and Teresa flies out to Guatemala with your daughter, and then a gang of teenagers steals them both with AK-47s that barely work and forces them to cut each other's heads off. How's that sound? Go to the police, fire restraining order. I don't care if she's your girlfriend, what she's doing. If you don't agree, if you're not on the same page with her, she's kidnapping your daughter. That's what's happening. And you can't let that happen.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CHIP</span><p>Okay, okay, okay, big surprise there that I'm the bad guy again. But Luke, you're saying file a restraining order like it's nothing. That's nuclear. That's scorched earth.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, taking your daughter on a flight to Guatemala to see.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, so I just got out of this open mic at Denny's over in Deming, and I am sitting in the parking lot right now because I cannot go home yet. I bombed so bad, Luke. Like, five people in the crowd, three of them are related to the bartender, and I spent my entire set, trying to work out this bit about my house being in a flood zone and nobody laughed. Not one laugh. Complete silence except for somebody's phone going off during what I thought was going to be the big punchline.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well that's not surprising. We live in the desert, sir. There's no flood zone.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>No, no, no. See, that's the thing. That's what makes it absurd, right? Like, we're in the desert. We get eight inches of rain a year and somehow my house is in a FEMA flood zone. They remapped it last year. My insurance went up $400 a month. $400, Luke.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so tell us the joke. What was the joke?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Okay, so I set it up like this. Picture this. I'm standing there, right? Wearing my good shirt. The one with the little cactus on it that Teresa says makes me look like a tourist. But I like it. And I go. So my house is in a flood zone, which is wild because we're in the desert. Like the only water we get is when the AC drips on my head at night. But Fianlis says, nope, you're in a flood zone. So I'm like, how? The last time it rained here, my neighbor's dog got so excited. He tried to drink the puddle and knocked himself out. And then I paused for the laugh. Nothing.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. Maybe it's time for you to work on some new material.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Yeah, but see, I keep trying to pivot to the punchline, which is that my house is now worth less than the James Webb Space Telescope images I have framed in my hallway. Like, $40 total at Costco, these gorgeous nebula prints, and my house has lost more value than that costs. But Teresa, my girlfriend, she told me tonight before I left, she said if I bring up the space telescope one more time, instead of actually making a decision about whether we're selling the house. And I think she meant it this time, Louv, because she had her overnight bag already packed and sitting by the door when I left for the show.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, I mean, with jokes like that, you can't really expect a woman to stick around for very long.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Okay, that's fair, that's fair. But here's the thing. I've got the insurance adjuster's number pulled up on my phone right now. I've got the realtors number. I've got a Google search for cheapest places to live near Tucson Open in three different tabs. And I keep refreshing the James Webb feed like it's going to tell me what to do, you know? Like maybe there's going to be some galaxy out there that looks like an arrow pointing to the right decision.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, there's not. I don't know how the James Webb Space Telescope is related to your comedy career or selling your house. And this is a very confusing call.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>No, no, no. Let me explain. The telescope thing, it's not about the telescope itself. It's about the fact that I spent 40 bucks on these images of the universe, right? Beautiful pictures of stars and gas clouds and stuff billions of light years away. And now my house, the place where I hung those pictures, is worth less than when I bought it because some bureaucrat drew a line on a map and said flood zone. Like, the universe is expanding, Luke, but my property value is contracting. That's the bit.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe you should take up poetry or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Yeah, Teresa said the same thing, actually. She said, Woody, you're not a comedian. You're just a guy who won't shut up about problems he won't solve. Which, ouch, but also maybe accurate. Because here's what I'm really calling about, Luke. I'm sitting in this Denny's parking lot at three in the morning, and I've got all these tabs open, and I know I need to make a decision. Do we sell and take the loss? Do we stay and keep paying the insane insurance?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there's a couple things that you can do here. Look, do the math. Does the insurance add up to the same amount as the loss? Which one would be cheaper for you to do? And also, do you like living where you live? Do you like your house regardless of whether or not the insurance is high? If so, maybe it's worth the premium to you. Do you want to live in Tucson? Or do you want to live somewhere else entirely? This could be either a fresh start or just an annoyance.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Okay. So the math part, I actually did that. The insurance went up 2200 a year. If we sell now, we lose about 18,000 in equity because the market tanked when they rezoned us. So if we stay five years, we break even on the insurance cost, but that's assuming the premiums don't go up again, which they probably will. And do I like the house?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you like the house? What do you think's going to happen to the market in five years? And if it's that easy to rezone a property that you own, then it very well could be changed again. you can petition to have it changed if you can cite some evidence that there's no flooding there.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>See, that's what I keep telling Teresa. I'm like, we can fight this. We can get a hydrologist to come out, show them the drainage patterns, prove that the wash is a quarter mile away and hasn't flooded since 1983. But she's done with it, Luke. She's like, I don't want to spend the next two years fighting the county while you workshop material about it at open mics. And do I like the house? I mean, yeah, it's got this big living room where you can see the mountains. And that's where I hung the telescope pictures because the view kind of matches, you know?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, she sounds like a smart woman. You should hang on to her. But honestly, you're going to have to have that conversation with Teresa and figure out if she wants to live. It sounds like she doesn't want to live there anymore. So this could be a new opportunity to get a better place that suits you better. And, you know, you can have new open mics to bomb at where the people aren't going to already be cringing when you get up to the stage. You know, you get a second So I think sell the house and see what's next in your adventure.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>Wait, hold on. They're not cringing when I get up. Well, okay. Maybe the bartender is, but that's because I did 20 minutes on the flood zone three weeks in a row. But you're right about Teresa. She doesn't want to live there anymore.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, so she doesn't want to live there and you got to decide if you want to be with her and what you want your life to look like. But it sounds like a good opportunity for a change. And if you told them the joke that you should, you tell them the joke that you just told us, then yeah, they do cringe when you get up there. They might just be polite about it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">WOODY</span><p>All right, all right. Fair enough. The universe is expanding, but my property value is contracting. I thought that one had legs. But yeah, I hear you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, thanks for the call. I hope it all works out for you. And fingers crossed for no rain, all right? Ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of our show tonight. I hope you had a wonderful evening. And we're going to talk to you again tomorrow, okay? Bye-bye. I don't know.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 34: Hidden Rooms, Potlucks, and Mysterious Notes</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-03-12T07:05:40+00:00">March 12, 2026</time> · 50 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Luke takes calls from listeners navigating bizarre personal situations, including a junkyard owner discovering a hidden room, a thrift store worker resisting potluck duties, and an embalmer finding a cryptic apology note. Each caller seeks guidance through their unique predicament, with Luke offering his signature blunt and humorous advice.</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Welcome back. I'm Luke, and you're listening to Luke at the Roost. This is the late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on in your life. I will give you the very best advice that I possibly can. Today is Wednesday, March 11th, and we're going to get to the phones right away. First up, we've got Earl. Earl, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life today, buddy? How can we have help you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Am I on? Okay, yeah. Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. I know it's late on a Wednesday, appreciate you staying up with us. So, ah, I run a junkyard out here, been doing it about 12 years now. Bought the place from this guy who moved to Arizona, and it's been pretty straightforward, you know, people bring in their cars, I strip the parts, sell what I can.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so what's on your mind? What's the problem at the junkyard?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Right, so three days ago, Sunday, I was in the back because the paperwork's being piling up. There's this wall in there, and I always figured it was just, you know, the exterior wall. But I'm knocking on it to see where I can mount some brackets, and it sounds hollow, really hollow. So I get a sledgehammer, and I start breaking through, thinking maybe there's some storage space back there or something.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, well, that's balzy. You just start taking a sledgehammer to your wall. What'd you find back there?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>A whole room, Luke. I mean a whole furnished room. There's a couch in there with the plastic still on it, like someone just bought it and never sat on it. There's a mini fridge that's plugged in and running Has been this whole time, I guess. And the walls, all four walls, they're covered in polaroids.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It sounds like a loss situation Were you able to find any other doors? Any ingress or egress?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>That's the thing. No. There's no other door. The only way in is through the hole I made in my office wall. I walked around the outside of the building twice, checked every angle. There's no door, no window, no vent big enough for a person. It's just...</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>never noticed that there was this whole other room tacked onto your building? I mean, you couldn't see that from the outside?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>No, that's what I'm saying. From the outside, the building looks normal. The dimensions match up. It's not like there's this obvious addition sticking out. I measured it, Luke. The room is maybe 10 by 12, but when you're outside, there's no extra footage.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so you found yourself a magic room that's furnished but unused. What's on the Polaroids?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>regular people at parties, barbecues, birthday cakes with candles. There's got to be maybe 40, 50 photos up there. Different groups, different occasions, but I don't recognize a single face.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's a unique situation you find yourself in. Did you find any interesting treasures in there? Is it just the Polaroids or was there other stuff besides a couch and some Polaroids?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>There's a coffee table, a couple of folding chairs stacked in the corner. The mini fridge, I opened it, and there's three Coors lights in there that are still cold. Luke. After 12 years or however long this room's been sealed up, there's an ashtray on the table, clean, never been used.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, so you've been paying electricity on this bridge. You got a room in there that mysteriously is invisible from the outside, and it looks like it's been unused for 12-plus years. Are you going to drink the beers?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I, yeah. I already drank one last night. That's part of why I'm calling.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You drank a decade's old beer? How was it?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>That's the thing. It tasted fine. I tasted like I just pulled it out of a cooler, cold, fresh, no weird aftertaste. And I keep thinking about the other two sitting in there.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so what do you think about this room? What is it? Why is it there? Why was it walled off? And what are you going to do with it now?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I don't know, man. That's why I keep going back there after I close up. I sit on that couch and I look at those photos and I try to figure it out. The guy I bought the place from Jerry Hoskins. He swears he never knew about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>hole that you created in the wall, that you also disappear, that your mask cannot be seen from outside?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I, I hadn't thought about that. Jesus, I've been in there alone every time.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you might want to check that out. You might have yourself a Bermuda Triangle situation going on. You think I should have someone watch me go in, see if I just vanish from their side?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Yeah, man. I mean, what happens on the island happened. It all really happens.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>doesn't exist except when you enter it. I mean, maybe neither do you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>That's okay. That's freaking me out a little, because I've been spending hours in there. Like last night I was in there from 9.30 till past midnight, just sitting there drinking that beer, looking at the photos, and nobody knew where I was.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, of course nobody knew where you were. You were teleported into another dimension. I think when you enter that room, you leave the bounds of physics and logic and everything stops. Like, there's no time in that room. You don't age when you're in that room. And anything that you do in that room is completely separate and isolated from the reality of the earth.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Wait, so you're saying the three hours I was in there last night? That might not have been three hours out here? Because I checked my watch when I left and it was after midnight. But...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I mean, that's exactly what I'm saying. Did you jerk off in there?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>What? No. No, I've just been sitting there looking at the pictures. Drinking the beer.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You got a secret room with a couch in another dimension and you didn't even rub one out? How are you even talking to me? Like, that's not human.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>I, look, it's not like that. The whole thing's being too weird to even think about. That. I've been trying to figure out whose room it is. Who these people are? There's this one photo, this barbecue scene. And there's a guy flipping burgers who looks a little like my uncle, but it's not him, you know?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>my life and shifted it sideways. Yeah, don't jerk off to that. That sounds depressing. I think you've stepped into like a multiverse, another dimension, and you've found a secret place, and anything that happens in there is magic. So my advice to you is to get a friend to watch as you enter the room and see what happens. Also, check your watch to see if time is moving by at the same rate that you expected to be.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">EARL</span><p>Okay, yeah, I can do that. My buddy Rick, he comes by the yard most Thursday, to pick through the metal scrap. I could have him watch me go in tomorrow.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>There you go. That sounds like a good plan. Thanks for the call. That's a weird thing. Congratulations on your new square footage. Not everybody gets to say that they found a special hidden room. But that's cool. All right, next up, we've got Candy. Candy, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life? How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CANDY</span><p>Hey, Luke. So I'm calling because I just got roped into organizing the monthly potluck at work. And I am not doing it. I'm not. people bring food that should be considered a workplace hazard. Last week, somebody brought tuna casserole that had been sitting in their car since morning. And the week before that, Sharon's enchiladas, put three people out with food poisoning, but nobody will say anything because she's been at the thrift store for 15 years.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You have an employee potluck at a thrift store? Like, you have enough employees to do that? It must be a pretty big thrift store.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CANDY</span><p>Yeah, it's one of the bigger ones in town. We've got maybe 20 people between the floor staff, the Sorders, and back, and the donation center crew. The management thinks the potlock builds morale or whatever. But honestly, it just builds resentment because half the people don't bring anything. And the other half brings stuff that's either store-bought or actively dangerous. And now they volunteered me to organize next months without even asking if I wanted to do it. My boyfriend says, just bring chips and let it go.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But my friend Jackie agrees with me that this is worth pushing back on.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CANDY</span><p>Yeah, you don't have to push back on. I just don't do it. That's it. That's the end of the potlock. Potlucks are the worst. They're the worst thing ever. Nobody's potato salad is for fucking good, all right? I know you all think you've got the secret recipe for the best potato salad, but potato salad is gross. Everything that you see at a potluck that is in store a lot is gross.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I'm not interested in anybody's potluck or trying out anybody's secret fucking family recipe for anything. They put onions and everything, and it's never a good idea. Just don't do the potluck. If you want lunch, take everybody to McDonald's. Shit.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CANDY</span><p>See, that's what I'm saying. Thank you. Nobody wants to admit that they're workers cooking is terrible because it's supposed to be this bonding thing. But it's not bonding when you're trying to figure out if you need to call in sick the next day.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And the potato salad, oh my God. There's always three different potato salads and they all have that weird warm mayo thing going on because they've been sitting out for two hours. Yeah, it's gross. It's inhumane and nobody should ever do the podlock. If you want to have that bonding situation at lunchtime with everybody, then get yourself a grill. Right? You go down to the store and you buy a fucking industrial store size box of hot dogs and make up with some hot dogs and hamburgers like a like, like normal God-fearing Americans would do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CANDY</span><p>Right, exactly. Something where you can actually see it being cooked in front of you. Not something that came out of someone's trunk that's been God knows where. But here's the thing, Luke. They're acting like I'm the problem for saying no to this. My manager pulled me aside today and was like, we need someone organized to take charge. And I said, I didn't volunteer for it. And she just smiled and said, well, you're perfect for it anyway. Like that's supposed to make it okay that they just assign me extra work I don't get paid for. And now I'm the bad guy if I don't do it, because everyone's expecting it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, it's not really a whole lot of extra work organizing a potluck, okay? I know it might feel that way. It might feel overwhelming with your current workload at the thrift store, but it's really not. All you have to do is set up a table and let people bring in their crap. But I think you should show some leadership and just flat out not do it. Don't do your homework. And maybe that will get the point across that potlucks are awful, nobody wants them. waste of everybody's time. I've been to lots and lots of potlucks, and I will not eat anything at a potluck. Unless, like we said there, it's cooked on a grill in front of me, and it's just a hamburger or a hot dog. Even then, I'm skeptical about it because people like to put their spin on the hamburger. Like, ah, you got to try my secret hamburger. No, I don't want anything that is weird or strange or different. Give me a fucking plain hamburger. Well, a cheeseburger, but it's going to be good deli cheese. I don't want the craft singles cheese on my cheeseburger. That's wrong. Just a hot dog? You know, you get yourself some ketchup, some mayo, maybe relish if you're feeling frisky, and call it a day. Nobody needs chips. Nobody needs salad. Nobody needs sides. You get a hot dog and a bottle of water and then get back to work.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CANDY</span><p>Oh, I wish it was that simple. But here's the kicker. If I don't organize it, they'll just assign it to someone else. He'll let it slide again. And we'll end up with another Sharon enchilada incident and I cannot live through that again. Last time, I had to listen to Karen from donations, whimpering in the breakroom like a kicked puppy for two days straight. But also, I hate being the one who has to say no to this stuff, because then I'm the mean one.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you're not organizing what people bring to the potluck. That defeats the whole purpose of the potluck. So here's my advice for you. Don't do it, because you don't want to support this insanity. Just don't do it. And then if they assign somebody else to the potluck, don't eat anything there. And it'll just, sit there on the table and rot, and people will be like, I don't want my potato salad. And, uh, could.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CANDY</span><p>You know what? You're right. I'm overthinking this. I should just tell my manager tomorrow that I'm not doing it. And if she wants a potluck, she can organize it herself or find someone who actually wants to. And then when it happens, I'll just bring my own lunch from home and eat it at my desk like a normal person.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>There you go. That's the right answer. Uh, no potlucks. Don't participate in them any the way. don't make something to bring it to a potluck. And if somebody does, don't eat it. And if you're the asshole for not participating in the potluck, well, good on you. It takes a village. Next up, we've got Mitch. Mitch, thanks for calling in. How can we help you today? What'd you have for lunch?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Hey, Luke. Appreciate your taking the call. Lunch was a gas station burrito around noon. So we're about 12 hours past that now. Listen, I've been getting this weird interference on my radio telescope setup the last three nights.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, you're getting interference in the telescope or on the radio link?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>On the radio telescope itself, I built this setup in my backyard. Nothing fancy. Just a parabolic dish I welded together and some SDR equipment to pick up signals. Been running it for about eight months now. Mostly tracking satellites. Looking at Jupiter emissions. That kind of thing. But starting Sunday night, right at 247 in the morning, I get this static burst that cuts out all my data for about 90 seconds.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Well, that could have been, there's high solar activity right now. It could have been a little burp from the sun, one of them coronal mass injections. It could have been interference from the military playing around, ice doing their thing. The laser tracking shoot-down drone machines. Who knows? There's lots of things it could be. It could be, did you watch pluribus? It could be a DNA sequence for a greater being that is trying to take over our consciousness.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Right. And I thought about the solar activity. Check to Noah charts. Nothing unusual those nights. But here's the thing that's bothering me. It's the exact same time three nights in a row. 247 a.m. on the dot. Solar bursts don't keep a schedule like that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, neither do aliens. You know who does keep schedules like that? Humans do. That's somebody's garage door opener or the military playing some games out there doing testing. That's not anything to be concerned about if it's happening at the same exact time every day. Because time is our own concept, right? Time doesn't exist, man. It's not a real thing, man.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>Okay, but here's where it gets weird. My neighbor, the same guy who reported my antenna to the HOA last month, saying it was attracting attention, he's the one who called animal control on my dog yesterday. And my ex-wife somehow knew about the citation before I even got home to see it taped to my door.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, did you ask her how she knew about that? Did she maybe prompt the citation? this guy to do it. Does she like you? Do you get along? Why are you talking to your ex-wife? There's a whole bunch of questions there. None of them seem relevant to the initial reason you called. What are you talking about, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MITCH</span><p>You're right. I'm connecting things that might not connect. She texted me because our daughter got scratched by the dog. She's fine, just a scratch. But the neighbor's saying my kid was teasing the dog through the fence with a stick, which is impossible because I built that fence myself. And the slats are too close together for that. But what I'm saying is, this neighbor reports my antenna, then a month later I start getting interference at the exact same time every night, and then suddenly he's calling animal control? That's a pattern.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's not a pattern.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. So I'm calling from the break room at work right now. And, okay, so this is wild. You know Mrs. Pacheco. Well, not you specifically, but she's the crossing guard at my daughter's school. Desert Vista Elementary. Been walking me at a class for like two years now. Sweet lady? to vest, the whole thing. Anyway, last month my buddy Carlos made me watch this poker documentary with him. And I'm not even into poker, really, but he was insistent. And there's this whole segment about the World Series of poker from 2009, and Luke, it was her.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's great. Good for her. She's good at the poker. Everybody knows Miss Pacheco. Of course, she's the crossing guard lady that plays poker.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>No, no, no. You don't understand. She won $340,000 and a bracelet. Like the actual World Series of poker, the real deal, and now she's standing out there in the wind every morning making 12 bucks an hour, helping kids cross the street.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I mean, you only saw her win. You didn't see how many times she lost, or if she was staked by somebody else. Like, you got to pay taxes on that money. She's got bills and debts and a house to deal with. So, yeah. Maybe she just enjoys standing out in the road at all types of weather and helping the little ones cross the street.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Right. Yeah. actually what she said when I brought it up to her this morning. I was dropping off Mia and I was like, hey, I saw you on this documentary. Congratulations on that whole thing. And she just smiled at me, like this calm smile. And said she likes the job.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>But that's the thing that's messing with me because my girlfriend, Vanessa, thinks I shouldn't have said anything at all. Like it's none of my business what happened to the money or why she's doing that job. But then my mom, who already doesn't like that me and Vanessa are living together without being married, she's all like people who gamble always lose it eventually. It's in their nature. And I'm sitting here thinking, wait, is it? Is that true? I mean, in the vast majority of cases, people that play games of chance lose. That's how most of the games are set up. Poker's a little bit different, though. There's a skill involved, and the people that are good at it can show wins over time. Yeah, they're going to lose lots, but the goal is to win more times than you lose.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe the top fucking 3% of poker players stay in the money for the long term.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Okay, so that makes sense, but here's what I can't figure out. She didn't seem embarrassed at all when I mentioned it. Like if I had won that kind of money and then lost it all and was working for $12 an hour, I'd be mortified if someone brought it up. But she was just pleasant about it, almost like she was proud of it still. And now I'm wondering if maybe she didn't lose it. Maybe she just wanted the job anyway.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and it's none of your business. And she won a championship. Of course she's going to be proud of that. Maybe she spent the money. It was her money to spend. That's her prerogical. Maybe she bought herself a nice house or it's sitting in a bank account somewhere, collecting interest. Maybe she opened up an account with our sponsor, crypto, no! And lost it all to the soothing ocean sounds that they play. Who knows? But it's not important. She's happy. She's enjoying her life, and that's the important part here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>You're right, you're right. But okay, so here's where it gets complicated. Because Vanessa is mad at me for even asking us about it like I crossed some line. But then at the same time, she keeps bringing up how we need to save more money for me as college fund, and we're barely making ends meet with my welding job and her working at the clinic. And I think maybe part of why this is bothering me is because here's someone who had all this money and chose to stand in the street. And we're over here stressing about every dollar. Does that make sense, or am I just being weird about this?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You're just being weird about this. You can't compare yourself to somebody else's life. But it sounds like maybe you could ask Ms. Picaccio or whatever the fucker name was for some poker lessons. And there you go. You can invest your incomes in your poker career. And maybe you too can win a $375,000 world series of poker tour, of which you'll probably see 200K and then your family will all come begging like you're a millionaire when you're not. It sounds like a curse. So, I don't know. But this is none of your business.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>Okay, yeah, you're totally right. It's none of my business. But now I'm thinking about what you just said about everyone coming around begging, because that's exactly what my mom said would happen if we ever came into money. She said Vanessa's family would be all over us. Which is crazy because Vanessa's family has been nothing but nice to us. They helped us with a down payment on the trailer. And now I'm wondering if my mom is projecting something. Like maybe when she was younger, something happened with money in her family.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Who knows and who cares? You're an adult. You don't have to worry about what your mother says. And you're not coming into any money. Just calling radio stations about other people's lives. So get out there, and if you need more money, change your career or work harder or ask for it, find a way. And then you can learn how to deal with people that come looking for it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LEON</span><p>You're absolutely right. I'm sitting here in the break room at 2 in the morning, obsessing about a crossing guards poker winnings instead of figuring out my own situation. That's ridiculous. I appreciate you calling me out on that, Luke. I needed to hear it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you did. You did need to hear it. So take care of your own show and stop looking at what is going on in other people's lives. The crossing guard's happy. The kids like her all as well with the world. Next up, we've got Angie. Angie, welcome to the show. What's going on?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>Hey, Luke. So I went to Tucson. Had the birthday dinner with my mom and Derek.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, you're going to have to remind me. Who are you? What was the birthday? Oh, you're the lady that your mom was dying and she wanted to have cake, right? How was the cake?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>Yeah, that's me. The cake was fine. I brought those relighting candles like I said I would. My mom loved that. Kept blowing them out and laughing every time they came back on. Derek sat there the whole time looking at his phone.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that sounds perfect because you were concerned that Derek was going to be a douchebag the whole time. So that sounds like the best case scenario. And your mom's happy and you fulfilled your obligation. So why are you calling me tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>Because he cornered me in the driveway after. I was loading up my car and he comes out and says he needs to talk to me about mom's care, says she's told him she wants to stop treatment, and he thinks I'm the one who put that idea in her head.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Are you the one that put that idea in her head?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>No. I didn't even know she was thinking about it. She hasn't said anything to me about stopping treatment.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it was probably the extreme left wing, what do they call them? I'm trying to think of, libtards.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>Yeah, it was the lib tards that did it. He actually said something like that. He said the doctors are probably pushing it because of cost, or some conspiracy. I told him maybe mom's just tired, Luke. She's been doing chemo for eight months.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, she's old. She got to see her kids have cake together. That was her last wish, and she's had enough fighting. And I think that anybody in that situation should have the agency to make that choice on their own. So if that's what she wants to do, good for her. And if your brother is pissed at you about it, then fuck him. But fuck him anyway, because he was a douchebag pretty much all the time, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>Yeah, but here's the thing. He wants me to go with him to her next appointment, to talk to the doctor together. Says if we're both there, we can make sure she's thinking clearly and not being influenced.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, maybe that's not such a bad idea, and you can keep him off of them, right, while she discusses her care with her doctor, as she should be allowed to do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>I guess. I just don't want to be in a room with him and some oncologist while he accuses everyone of trying to kill our mom. And I don't know if she even wants us there. He didn't ask her. He just decided we should do it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you shouldn't do anything without your mom say so. She's still lucid. She's still got her faculties, and she can make those decisions on her own. If you want to go, ask your mom if she wants you to be there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>You're right. I should just call her and ask. Not make it about Derek at all. Just see what she actually wants. Because this whole thing might just be him freaking out and trying to control something he can't control.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, of course it is. And if it's not, then. And the only way that you're going to know is by talking to your mom. And you should have that conversation anyway. She's dying. It might be one of the last conversations you have. Ask her what she's thinking. Ask her what it's like. This is an opportunity for you to understand what's going through somebody's mind in their final days or hours. And that's a gift. So if you have the opportunity to talk to her now about those important real life things, that's a big deal. And you should take advantage of her now of it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">ANGIE</span><p>Yeah. I've been avoiding asking her anything real because I don't want to make her sad or make it about me. But you're right. She might actually want to talk about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And if she doesn't want to talk about it, she'll let you know that. But I would guess, and in my experience, people that are there are very much willing to explain what's going on to you because they wish somebody had explained it to them. And it is a special experience that you can have with somebody. That it's going to actually important.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CALLER</span><p>on you some wisdom. I'm going to call her tomorrow morning, before work. And I'll ask if she wants me at the appointment. And I'll ask her what she's actually thinking about all of it. Not what Derek thinks she should be thinking.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, there you go. That's the right answer. And I wish you all the best of luck there. It doesn't sound like a fun situation, but it sounds like you're all dealing with it the best you can. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we've got to go to another ad from our sponsors. I'm going to be straight with you. I don't know what this product does. The folks at Bunkhouse DNS sent me a script, and I've read it four times, and I understand maybe 11% of it. Apparently, your DNS is exposed, which sounds medical. Your queries are being logged by default, which sounds illegal. And Bunkhouse reroutes your lookups through encrypted tunnels, which sounds like something a villain would say in a movie before the building explodes. What I can tell you is this. I installed it. I pressed one button and a little shield icon turned green. Green means good. I know that much. My internet still works. Nothing exploded. And apparently, my queries, whatever those are, are now private, which feels like progress, even though I don't fully understand progress from what? Bunkhouse DNS. I don't know what it does, but the shield is green, and that's enough for me. Okay. And we're back. We're going to change the vibe a little bit, turned on the vibe dial. Lower the lights. And we're going to continue with Luke at the Roost, your favorite radio show. Next up we've got Sal. Sal, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight, sir?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SAL</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah, so. I found a pill bottle in my kid's backpack. My name was on it, but somebody scratched it off with a key or something. These are the oxy they gave me. After my shoulder surgery last fall, I thought I had them put away in the garage.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, obviously, you weren't paying attention to where you put your controlled substances and your kids get a hold of them. So whose fault is that, sir? Hopefully you took them away from him and you're going to have a conversation about how he got them and why he had them in his backpack before you end up having that conversation at the police station or with one of his classmates that overdoses in lunch.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SAL</span><p>Yeah, no. I took them. I got the bottle. But here's the thing, Luke. I counted them. There's the same number that was in there when I put them away. He didn't take any. He just has them.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, he had them. You've removed them from his possession, and now you have them. And what you're going to do with them now is put them in a secure, locked container where only you can get to them. And you're not going to have them walking away to the school yard because that is irresponsible. And why do you have the oxies anyway if you're not taking them? If you don't need them, they probably shouldn't be hanging around the house. Because I don't know if you've heard, but they cause problems for people.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SAL</span><p>I know, I know. Look, I had the surgery in October. I used maybe half of them. I kept the rest. Because you never know, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. You never know when your child is going to find them and put them in his backpack and take them to school and give them away to his friends. And you never know when those friends are going to die right there. And you never know when that's going to be your fault.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SAL</span><p>All right. Yeah, I hear you! I'll get rid of them. But that's not. Luke, the real question is, do I tell his mom about this? Because she's been clean. Two years. She had her own thing with pills before. And if I tell her I found these in his backpack, she's going to know immediately they're mine. She's going to know I've been holding on to them.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you would prescribe these pills and you're holding on to them because you're an adult, and you made the decision that they might be good to have around for some reason. Should you tell the mother of your child that the child took the pills from you and then just walked around with them in his backpack for God knows how long. I don't know. Probably not. I don't know that that would help the situation any. What I would recommend is you should talk to your son and ask him why he took the pills, what he was doing with him, and what his intentions were, and explain to him the dangers of oxycontin and what type of opioids. Explain to him what opioids are about and have the conversation about drugs and how they can in your life and see where he's at with that. So you talk to him and let him know that if he continues, you're going to tell his mother, but for her own protection, you don't have to mention it this one time because there was no harm done. But next time, they very well could be harm done, okay?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SAL</span><p>Yeah, but Luke, that's the thing. I don't think he took them to use them or sell them or whatever. I think he took them because, I don't know, like insurance or something. Like he knows. They know's their mine. He scratched my name off.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Insurance against what? Insurance against, what, you grounding him? You're going to be like, well, if you don't let me go play with my friends, I'm not going to give you your important pain medication. If that's the case, your child might be a psychopath, and maybe you need to have a very different conversation.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SAL</span><p>No, not like that. More like insurance against me. Like maybe he knows about us other stuff I've got stashed. Maybe he's holding on to them so I know he knows.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is insane. But what other stuff do you have stashed, probably unsecured and available for a child to take to school?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SAL</span><p>I mean nothing like that. Just look, I've got some things in the garage, tools, some equipment from jobs, nothing illegal. But the kid's been going through my stuff clearly, and I don't know what he's seen or what he thinks he knows.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Ah, well, you sound like a disturbed gentleman, and it sounds like maybe you're stashing some guns or drugs or stolen Native American women or maybe industrial weapons-grade plutonium. Who knows? I don't know what's in your garage. Only you can know that. But the stuff that is important, dangerous, maybe should be locked up, perhaps in a gun safe. You can get one of those at Harbor Freight or at a gun safe store. And you might be interested to learn that if you buy a safe, there's no tax on that. Isn't that nice?</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SAL</span><p>Yeah, I know about the safes. I've been meaning to get one. But Luke, you're missing what I'm asking here. Do I confront him about the pills or not?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't believe I missed that. You never asked me if you should confront him. You asked me if you should confront his mother, to which I replied, no. And then I further elucidated that you should talk to him about drugs and how they can affect somebody's life in the long term, like a good father would. Because it seems like it's probably the time in his life where he's curious. And you might, uh, might be able to fend off some serious issues later in life. Also, if nothing else, you can ask why he would take your pills for insurance against what exactly?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SAL</span><p>All right, yeah, you're right. I need to talk to him directly. I just, I've been avoiding it because I work nights most of the week. And when I am home, he's either at school or locked in his room.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You see, he has the right idea with the whole life up the room. That's, I mean, maybe you should take a cue from your son, because he seems to understand how to protect things that he doesn't want other people to have access to. So, I mean, this is another option that might work for you.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Hey, Luke. Yeah. I got something. So I'm an embalmer, right? And last week this guy comes in. I'm doing the prep work. And I find a post-it note in his jacket pocket. It says, Crystal, if you're reading this, I'm sorry about the thing with your mom. You deserved better.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You did. I'm sorry about that thing with your mom, too.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>No, Luke. That's the thing. I have no idea who this guy is. Never seen him before in my life. He's 72 years old. Names Douglas. Kemper died of a heart attack. I asked around. Nobody in my family knows a Douglas Kemper. My mom doesn't know him.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Uh, no, your mom doesn't remember him. Because she gets around quite a bit. That's what I'm telling you. Is you can't really be sure who knew your mom in that way.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Luke, my mom's been married to my stepdad for 30 years. And before that, she was with my dad. She's not getting around. She works at the DMV and goes to bed at 8.30. This note dated from two weeks ago. He wrote it two weeks before he died.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Well, I think you're confused about your mom and who she is because I was with her last night at about 10.30.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Luke, you weren't with my mom. My mom's 64 years old and she's got a knee replacement scheduled for next month.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>But here's what's really messing me up. I looked him up. Douglas Kemper. Never lived in the same town as us? Never worked anywhere near my family.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Did you ever wonder how your mom wore out her knee?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>I don't. You're really committed to this bit. Anyway, the note says the thing with your mom, like I'm supposed to know what that means. And he's apologizing to me specifically. He knew my name. He knew I'd be the one finding it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I actually leave posted notes around town for you, too, because I know that someday you're going to find out the truth.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>The truth about what, Luke? Because I'm sitting here at 11 at night eating Circle K sushi, trying to figure out how a complete stranger knew I'd be the one handling his body. That's the part that's getting to me. Not whatever weird thing you're implying about my mom.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I mean the truth about your mom and how giving she is.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Luke, I don't know what you're getting at with this, but I'm telling you, this guy left a note in his pocket. It was folded up real small like he knew someone would find it. It says, Crystal, I'm sorry about the thing with your mom.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, your mom is frequently at establishments that I frequent. Like, she's all often at the Lordsburg Gloryhole. She's a frequent appear down at the old Amazing's sex shop where she jerks off truckers in the parking lot. And we salute her. She gets a lot of work done. She covers a lot of ground. And she's been with a lot of people. Your mom is quite a slut.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Luke, my mom volunteers at the church bake sale and her idea of a wild Friday is getting the premium car wash. But fine, you want to do this fit? We can do this bit. What I'm actually asking you is, do I tell her about this note? Because either this Douglas Kemper knew something real, or he was confused and thought I was someone else. And if it's real, if there actually is a thing with my mom, I don't know about. Do I really want to open that door?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>We've all opened that door, my friend. And let me tell you, it's not that tight.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>You know what? I'm going to take that as a no. Don't tell her. Because you're right about one thing. Some doors you can't close once you open them. And maybe whatever Douglas Kemper thought he needed to apologize for, it died with him.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Maybe it did. I don't know. But you are right about that. Some doors, you cannot close once you open them. Like, very similarly to your mother's legs.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">CRYSTAL</span><p>Oh, right, Luke. I appreciate the advice buried somewhere under all that. I'm going to toss the note and pretend I never saw it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, good for you. tell your mom I said hello.</p></div>
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<h1>Episode 35: Midnight Confessions and Unexpected Revelations</h1>
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<p class="episode-meta"><time datetime="2026-03-13T11:19:38+00:00">March 13, 2026</time> · 1 hr 12 min</p>
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<p class="page-subtitle">Luke hosts a late-night call-in radio show featuring callers with wild stories about hidden wills, unexpected Burning Man photos, and mysterious car deals. Listeners share personal dilemmas ranging from family inheritance to neighborhood dog disputes and financial surprises. What secrets will be revealed in this late-night journey through human complexity?</p>
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<h2>Transcript</h2>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Welcome back. I'm Luke. This is Luke at the Roost. It's the late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about whatever's going on in your life. Ask me about what's on your mind. I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today's Friday, March 13th. Somebody told me today, it's the anniversary of the lockdown from COVID-19. So happy COVID-19 lockdown day. I hope you're enjoying yours. It seems like this town never sleeps because it's 308 a.m. And our phone lines are lit up like never before. So we're going to get right to that. First up, we've got Lucille. Lucille, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life tonight? What do you want to talk about?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>I moved my mom's will. Like, physically moved it. She's leaving everything to her church. And I just stuck it behind the Christmas napkins, going to find it. I know how that sounds. I'm not proud of it. But I've got two kids, a mortgage, and my mom promised me her tools my whole life.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>She promised you our tools. Out of all of her stuff, her tools is what you're looking for? Do you think the church cares about the tools? What tools are we talking about?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Handplanes from the 1800s. Anvils. My dad collected them.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so what makes you think that your mom only has one copy of this will? I assume that she's got legal representation. I'm sure her lawyer's office has another copy of it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Oh, I know they do. I'm not stupid. But if they can't find the original, it slows everything down, right? Probate gets messy.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know. I wouldn't bet on that. I think a better approach would be to talk to your mom and ask what's going on. Tell her you want the anvils, the planes? really even know what those are. Those are the things that you use to make a board smooth?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Yeah, hand planes smooth wood. My dad taught me how to use them when I was like eight. And I've tried talking to her. She just says, the church has been there for her. They helped her through her grief. And she wants to give back. She's been going there six months, Luke, six months.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And are the hand planes explicitly defined in the will? Because that doesn't seem like the type of thing that would be.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>No, the will just says all personal property and the house go to the church, everything. The pastor drives Alexis, by the way.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I mean, you don't have to hide the will. You can just show up before the pastor does. Sounds like you could probably handle that, right? I think hiding the will is going to get you in more trouble than it's worth. That's a dushy thing to do, and if you want the handplains, just go there and take them.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>You're saying just take them while she's still alive. Just walk in and load up the truck?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying wait until she dies or kill her, one of the two. And then you can be the death people and go in there and, you know, clean up everything before the pastor shows up.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Jesus, Luke, I'm not killing my mother. But yeah, I mean, I could get there first. I've got a key to the house.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Problem solved. That's the answer. Put the will back where it was. She wants her other stuff. If that's all you care about, just go take that. The pastor's not going to know or care.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>You're right. You're completely right. The pastor doesn't even know what's in that garage. He's never been to the house. I'm sitting here at three in the morning at the bail bond's office, making myself into a criminal over something I could just handle like a normal person.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, don't do that. I'm glad we could talk some sense. a wonderful night.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUCILLE</span><p>Thanks, Luke. I appreciate it.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Anytime. Happy to help. Yeah, no hiding of the will before the person's dead. Everybody knows you make a mad rush for it the second that happens and finders keepers. Next up, we've got Joey. Joey, welcome to the show. What can I give you advice on today in your life?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Appreciate you taking the call. So I'm calling because I've been watching this roadrunner outside the depot, right? And the other day I watched it kill a rattlesnake. Just grabbed it, whipped it around, smashed its head on a rock.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wow, that's a pretty badass roadrunner. Meep, meep. Good for him.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Right, but here's the thing. It made me think about this mantis shrimp article I read. These things can see 16 color receptors. We only have three.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so how did a roadrunner? A roadrunner smashing a rattlesnake's head into a rock make you think about a mantis shrimp being able to see 16 colors.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Because we're all walking around half blind, Lou. That roadrunner sees the world completely different than I do. The mantis shrimp sees colors we can't even imagine. And I'm standing there in the parking lot at three in the morning thinking, what if my neighbor Gary is just operating on a completely different reality than me?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He probably is. We all probably are. Who's to say what reality is? what one person's reality looks like through another person's 16 color receptor eyes. I don't know. We'll never know.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Exactly. But here's why I'm calling. Gary keeps insisting my dog Buster is aggressive, says he growls at him, acts territorial, but Buster never does that with anyone else.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Buster. No, that can't be. I don't believe that. He's a good boy. And your neighbor Gary's probably just a pussy.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>That's what I'm saying. And here's the thing. Six months before my divorce, Buster started acting weird around my ex-wife. Wouldn't sit near her. Kept his distance.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What do you think Buster would do to that rattlesnake?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Oh, Buster would lose that fight, no question. He's a beagle mix. Not exactly Apex predator material. But that's my point. Buster knew something about my ex that I didn't see until way later. Animals are operating on a different level of perception than we are.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Of course they are. So our plants? so are rocks. So are stars. Everything's operating on a different level of perception than we are. But what makes you think that Buster saw something ugly in your ex and not in you?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>What do you mean? Buster loves me. He's my dog.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, but he was her dog, too.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>No, he was mine before we got married. I got him as a puppy.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>But hold on. You're saying Buster was reacting to me, not her.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>No, I'm just talking about perspective. and people's different realities right now.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you called in talking about how everybody experiences a different reality. And from your perspective, your ex-wife was bad. But from her perspective, I mean, you very well may have been bad.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Okay, but she's the one who cheated Luke. That's not a perspective thing. That's a fact. She was sleeping with a guy from her CrossFit gym for four months before I found out.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's not a very nice thing to do. But why was she cheating with the CrossFit Gym guy? Like, what had led up to that?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>I was working a lot, pulling doubles at UPS during peak season. But that doesn't justify it.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I'm not saying it justifies it, but you can understand from her perspective why she needed to get some, right? She wasn't getting it from you?</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>I mean, we were still having sex, just not as much, maybe once every couple weeks during the busy season. But I was exhausted, Luke. I was doing 70-hour weeks.</p></div>
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||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's not good. And it's understandable that women would get lonely if you're not around for 70 hours at a time. And cheating is never okay. There's never really a good excuse for it. That's not really what I'm saying. I'm just saying you're thinking that your dog knew that she was bad or evil or that there was something malicious about her. And if you look at it from her perspective, that's just, I mean, that might not really be the case.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>But Buster started acting weird before the cheating even started. At least I think he did. The timeline, wait, actually, I don't know exactly when it started. She said four months, but who knows if that's true?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you can't know. So Buster now is causing problems with your neighbor, so you think your neighbor is cheating on you?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>What? No, Gary's not. Luke, Gary's my neighbor.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>I'm not married to Gary. I'm saying Gary can't perceive what Buster actually is, because he's operating on a lot. a different reality. Same way I couldn't see what my ex was doing because I was blind to it.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You weren't blind to her. You weren't home. You were working 70 hours a week. And your ex was, you know, doing what she needed to do to take care of herself, I guess. So not the right way. We're not standing up for your ex in this. We're just saying that maybe she's not evil. That's all.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>All right, fair enough. She's not evil. But Gary still sucks. And Buster's not aggressive. That's what I'm trying to get at here.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Fair. Enough, I can agree with you on those points. She's not evil. Gary sucks, and Buster's not aggressive.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Exactly. And that's why the mantis shrimp thing matters, because Gary thinks Buster's aggressive when he's just being protective of me. Gary can't see the actual situation. Just like I couldn't see what was happening with my ex until it was too late. We're all walking around half blind to what's really going on.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, Buster can be both things, and we need to know what the truth is here. protected of you and in doing so, be aggressive towards other people. Is that what's happening? And you're not paying attention to that? Or is Gary just a pussy that's afraid of dogs?</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Gary called animal control because Buster barked at him through the fence. That's it. Buster didn't jump the fence. Didn't bite anyone. Just barked. And now Gary's threatening to sue me if Buster gets out again, which he did once because the gate latch broke.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And what happened when Buster get out? What trouble did he cause? Did he go after Gary? I don't think that animal control cares if your dog's barking in your own yard at your fence. And if the dog got out, I mean, he could call animal control and have them pick him up and, like, call you. But I don't think he can sue you for that. I mean, you could try, but I don't think it would go very far.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Buster ran straight to Gary's yard and knocked over his grill. Gary says Buster was trying to attack him, but Gary was standing right next to the grill. So obviously Buster ran into it. And then Gary pepper sprayed him, Luke. Pepper sprayed him. my dog for knocking over a grill.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, no, that's not all right. I mean, I would lose my mind if somebody pepper sprayed my dog. So you're being surprisingly calm about this whole situation.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>I'm not calm about it. I went over there and we got into it. I didn't hit him or anything, but I told him if he ever touches my dog again, we're going to have a real problem. And that's when he said he's getting a lawyer.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Do you have a lawyer?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>No, I don't have a lawyer. I deliver packages for a dog again. a living, Luke. I can't afford a lawyer over a knocked over grill.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, but you don't get a buddy or a brother-in-law. Well, I guess you don't have a brother-in-law, but you don't know somebody that's a lawyer that would step in, or at least that you could use to threaten to have him step in if this were to escalate any.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>My cousin Derek's a paralegal, but he does real estate stuff. I don't think that counts. And honestly, I don't even know if Gary's serious about the lawyer thing or if he's just trying to scare me.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>He's trying to scare. I mean, no. Nobody's going to call a lawyer unless they really, really have to. Lawyers are expensive. Nobody wants to do that. But the bigger problem here is you and your neighbor can't get along because of your dog. And the only way to solve that is to talk to Gary and get him to spend some time with your dog. Get them acquainted, so he's not so fearful. And you were right to let him know that if he ever touches your dog again, you're going to break his fucking jaw for him. But outside that, If you want to continue living a peaceful life in your neighborhood, you're going to have to do something to ease this situation over, right? You should be friends.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>I tried that already. Before all this happened, I invited Gary over for a barbecue last summer. He came over for like 20 minutes. Wouldn't even Pet Buster kept asking me to put him inside. And then he left early saying he had to help his girlfriend move furniture or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And did you put Buster inside?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Yeah, I put him inside. But that's the whole point, Luke. Gary didn't even give him a chance. Buster was just sitting there wagging his tail, and Gary acted like he was a wolf or something.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I understand that. He's scared of dogs. He doesn't like Buster. That's obvious. But what I'm saying is you need to have a conversation with Gary and say, hey, man, I mean, I live here too, and so does my dog, and I love my dog. And I would really appreciate it if you'd make some level of effort to. to at least look at him, you know, at least spend a little bit of time with him and consider that he might not be trying to kill you. Unless he is, unless you're deluded and he actually is aggressive, and he's knocking over the grill and threatening to Gary, then maybe you're in the wrong.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>He's not aggressive. Gary's girlfriend isn't scared of Buster at all. She comes over sometimes when Gary's at work, and she throws the ball for him in my mind. yard. She thinks Gary's being ridiculous about the whole thing.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I think you should talk to Gary. And you know what? Maybe tell him that you need his help because you're working on training him to be better around people. Even if he's only an asshole around Gary, you can use this as an opportunity to get Gary and Buster to become acquainted.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>That might work. I mean, I don't want to lie and say Buster needs training when he doesn't. But if it gets Gary to actually interact with him instead of freaking out every time he sees him, maybe it's worth it. And honestly, his girlfriend already thinks I'm reasonable about this whole thing. So maybe should back me up.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, all dogs need training. They don't look at it as training. They look at it as intention and love, right? You're spending time with them and giving them something to do, something to focus on a job. And I think that that's important for dogs and that they don't see it as As, oh, I'm bad and I need training, they see it as, oh, good, I get to do something fun with my human.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>You're right, and Buster does love learning new stuff. I taught him to bring me a beer from the fridge last year, and he does it every time now. Maybe I could use that to show Gary he's actually smart and not just some wild animal.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, there you go, and you can teach him to be calm and respectful when Gary's around, maybe more so than other people, because Gary doesn't like him, and Gary's afraid of him, and who knows, maybe Gary got bit by a bit by a lot. dog that looks like Buster when he was a kid or something. You can't be sure. You called in talking! Rattlesnakes bashing or a Roadrunner bashing in a snake's head because it perceives the world differently. Well, Gary perceives the world differently than you or I do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>That's exactly what I'm saying, though, Luke. Gary's operating on a completely different frequency. He can't see what's actually there. He sees Buster and his brain tells him danger. When what's actually there is just a dog who wants to play.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, when a dog has a dog has a energy and starts jumping around and playing that looks aggressive to people that aren't used to having dogs. So, and it's, it's embarrassing and we don't want that to happen. So the responsible and respectful thing for you to do would be to train Buster to not behave in a, in that playful way when Gary is around.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>All right, yeah, I can do that. I'll work on getting him to just sit and stay calm when Gary's around. And maybe I'll talk about. And maybe I'll talk about. talk to Gary's girlfriend first, see if she can help smooth things over before I go directly to him. Because honestly, after the pepper spray thing and me getting in his face, I don't know if he's even going to open the door for me right now.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Yeah, you're right. I need to be the bigger person here. I'll give it a few days and then go over there and apologize for getting in his face. And I'll tell him I'm working on training Buster to be calmer around him. Maybe bring him some beer or something as a peace offering.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>There you go. And all you can do is try, so give it a try. And if it doesn't work out and he ever touches your dog again, break his fucking jaw.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">JOEY</span><p>Ha. All right, Luke. Appreciate it, man. I'll let you know how it goes.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. Thanks, man. You have a good night and give Buster a little pet on the head for me, all right? And now it's time for some words from our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by Shoe Spray Co. It's the spray you use in rental bowling shoes, because bowling is a game, but these shoes are gross. Let's be honest. Those shoes aren't dirty. They're used. They've had shifts. They've been through birthdays, work parties, and at least one guy who insists he's actually really good at this. Shoes Spray Co. doesn't promise fresh linen or spring rain. Nobody believes that. No one wants to be lied to while lacing up rental shoes. Shoospray Co just handles the situation. It makes them tolerable enough that you can focus on the important part. you're not competitive and then getting mad anyway. Use code strike at shoe spray co for 15% off. Shoes Spray Co. Reality-based footwear management. Okay. Welcome back. And yeah, the lines are still really lit up. I don't know what everybody's doing out here in New Mexico at 3.30 in the morning. Well, I do know. They're calling me at Luke at the Roost. like to give us a call. The number is 208-5853. That's 208-439. Luke. Next up, we've got Maxine. Maxine. Welcome to the show. You're up late tonight. What's going on over there?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAXINE</span><p>Hey, yeah. Sorry, I'm, yeah, I'm up. I bought this house about a year and a half ago. And I've been doing some work on it. Just little things, you know. And tonight, I was measuring because I wanted to put up some shelves in the bedroom and the numbers weren't right. The tape measure kept coming up short between my bedroom wall and the bathroom. And I thought maybe I was just tired, but I got this laser level from work and did it proper and there's like six feet missing. Just gone. The rooms don't line up.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't understand what you're saying the rooms don't line up. You're trying to put up a shelf? You're measuring the wall. What rooms don't line up?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAXINE</span><p>No. I mean, Okay, so my bedroom is on one side, right, and the bathroom is on the other side. And when you measure the bedroom wall, it's one length, and then you go into the bathroom and measure that wall, and it's another length. And when you add them up with the hallway in between, it doesn't match the outside of the house. There's space that's not accounted for. Like six feet of space that should be there but isn't in any room. It's just wall. Solid wall where there should be something.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know. That sounds like a strange design choice to me. I don't think I'm picturing. I would need you to draw this for me because I'm not getting it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAXINE</span><p>I know it sounds. I'm not explaining it right. Look, there's a door in the hallway between the bedroom and bathroom. I always thought it was a closet or something, never opened it, because it was painted shut when I moved in. But tonight, after I did all the measuring, I got a screwdriver and pried it open. And it's not a door to anything. It's just drywall behind it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, what do you think's behind the drywall?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAXINE</span><p>I don't know. That's the drywall. That's why I'm, I mean, that's why I called. The drywall is newer than the rest of the house. I can tell because it's smooth and the joint compound still snells a little bit, not like old and dusty. And the previous owner died here.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, so do you think the previous owner is in the wall?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAXINE</span><p>I don't know. They said it was natural causes. The realtor said it was totally normal. He was old. But I keep thinking about why someone would seal off six feet of space with fresh drywall and then just paint a door shed over it. sledgehammer sitting right here on the kitchen table, and I don't know if I should just break through and see what's in there, or if I should call somebody first.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I don't think there's any reason to call. I mean, you called me first, right? I'm all you need. So, are you good at repairing drywall? Because if you smash through the drywall, you're going to have a big hole in your wall, and you're probably not going to like that, but you might find treasure.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAXINE</span><p>I'm okay at it. I've done some patching. I took the house as is in the divorce. so I've had to learn a lot of stuff. But yeah, I could fix it if I had to. I just, I keep going back and forth. Part of me thinks it's probably just some contractor being lazy, like they closed off a weird space instead of dealing with it properly. But it's three in the morning and I'm standing here staring at this wall. And I can't stop thinking about what's behind it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's probably exactly what happened. They were trying to cover something up and make it look like maybe there was more space than there was. somebody was doing some sort of content creation and they were making a set so they could film against the door. I don't know. But a sledgehammer isn't really the right tool for that job. You should probably do something a little more surgical. You could use a drywall knife and just cut a space smaller than the door. So that way, when you're done, you can put the door back and it'll cover up the hole.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAXINE</span><p>That's smarter. Yeah. I didn't think about that. I've got a utility knife somewhere. So you think I think I should just do it tonight. Just cut it open and see.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I think you should do it right now. I think you should put the phone down and go over there and do it. If you've got a saw-as-all, that would work too. And come back and let us know what's in there.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">MAXINE</span><p>Okay. Okay, yeah. Let me hold on. I'm going to put you on speaker so I can use both hands. Give me a minute.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right. I'll give you, I don't know, a few seconds because this is a radio show and we can't have too much dead air. In the meantime, you guys can listen to this music or the soothing sound of my voice while I babble and give her time to cut a hole in her wall. When I was a kid, I called the Opie and Anthony show. It was a radio show, uh, sort of like this, but they were shock jocks. And I was maybe 10 or 11. And I wanted to win tickets to a concert. I didn't know what concert I wanted tickets to. I just wanted to win something. I was very excited. I was calling the radio. I got through. I got through. That never happened. It was always busy. So I got through. I got to talk to Opie. Opie from the Opie and Anthony show. And I was like, I want some tickets to something. And he's like, okay, kid, well, here's what you got to do for the tickets. I want you to take your phone at the time. Those were, it was a cordless phone, not a cell phone, a cordless phone. And I said, yeah, I got the cordless phone. And he said, I want you to take the cordless phone and put it in your dryer and turn it on while we listen to it on the air. And I did that. turned on my dryer and I put the phone in it and they played it on the air and then they hung up on me. So a few minutes later, I just kept calling. I kept calling. I kept calling. I get in the busy signal and I finally got through again and Opie answered and he's like, yeah, this is Opie from the O'B and Anthony show.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Next up we've got Nate. Nate, welcome to the show. Have you found any hidden treasure in your secret walls lately?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NATE</span><p>No, no hidden treasure. But I am about to lose my bar over this, Luke, and I'm not even being dramatic. My ex-girlfriend is dating Danny the bartender at the Cottonwood, which has been my spot for seven years. Seven years, Luke. I was going there when that place still had the old neon sign out front.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, I mean, the bar that you went to is not your bar. It's just a bar that you went to. And you can still go there and deal with the fact that your ex-girlfriend's dating the bartender. There's no reason you couldn't handle that as a grown adult. But if you can't, then find yourself another bar.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NATE</span><p>I know that, Luke, I know it's not technically mine, but hear me out. Danny knows my drink order. He knows about the time my transmission died in their parking lot, and I had to leave my truck there for three days. He knows I tip extra during the holidays. And now he's dating Jennifer, which means every single thing I ever told him about her. Every time I sat at that bar after we fought and he asked what was wrong, he's probably told her all. There's something about your bartender dating your ex that feels like a violation of the Geneva conventions.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NATE</span><p>And I'm half joking, but I'm also deadly serious about this. Yeah, and he knows all about your ex-girlfriend. He knows what she likes. He knows about the sound she makes. And yeah, that's annoying. But if you want to go to the cottonwood, then you're going to have to deal with that. Otherwise, you've got to go to a different bar.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's the thing though, Luke. I tried that tonight. I went to three cactus jacks. I went to that new place on Speedway. I even drove all the way out to the rusty spur, and they all felt wrong. The beer was fine, the music was fine, but it wasn't right.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NATE</span><p>And I'm sitting in my truck right now on the loading dock at work. My shift just ended, and I'm having this realization that's honestly messing with my head. I think I care more about losing the cottonwood than I ever cared about losing Jennifer.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, I mean, that can happen, and that's okay. So you lost your bar. That's sad. That was your social life. You enjoyed it there. I mean, you can continue to go there. You just have to deal with the fact that those two are dating. Or you can find a time when there's a different bartender working. Yeah, just man up. And go to the bar if you want to go to the bar. Sit up on the other side of the bar from Jennifer and whatever his name is. There's not much to tell you here. You got to just grow up and deal with it or find a different bar or stop going to bars all together and find a different way to get your social activities in.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NATE</span><p>Danny. His name is Danny. And you're right. You're absolutely right. But here's what's really getting me. I don't think she ever even went there before we started dating. I took her there. I introduced her to Danny.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't care. This isn't interesting. Your ex-girlfriend left you and now she's dating the bartender at a bar that you used to like. That's the story. You have three options. Go to a different bar, go to that bar and just deal with the fact that your ex-girlfriend's dating the bartender or stop going to bars. Otherwise, there's nothing left to tell you, and this call is boring.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">NATE</span><p>You know what, Luke? You're right. This is boring. I'm boring. I called a radio show at three in the morning to complain about losing my bar.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You didn't lose your bar. You lost your balls. Next up we've got Debbie. Debbie, welcome to the show. How can we help you?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I fired my employee today, and I am pretty sure I just became the bad guy in one of those viral work stories. But also, I think I am right. And I do not know what to do about that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay. Well, why did you fire the employee?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>So I own a bakery. And last year, during the really bad dust storms, I let everyone go remote, you know, work from home. And this girl, she is 22. She started making the sourdough from her apartment and just dropping off the loaves, which, okay, I tried it. I was trying to be flexible, but then she stopped coming in for her actual shifts at the storefront, just stopped showing up, but she still wanted full pay, like the same hours, even though she was not here doing the register or helping customers, or any of that.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And did you talk to her about this and let her know that that was unacceptable? You give her any chances to redeem herself?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>Well, yeah, I mean, I told her. I told her multiple times she needed to come back in. I said the remote thing was temporary, just for the worst of the dust season. And she kept saying she could do her job from home, that the bread was getting made. What was the problem? And I kept explaining that a bakery is not just about making bread. You have to be here. You have to interact with customers. You have to help with the front. But she just kept not showing up, and then texting me like everything was fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, then she wasn't doing her job. If her job included working the register and doing point of sale stuff, then she wasn't showing up for it. And you were right to fire. You had to save your business. Now, what is this viral video you're talking about?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>Oh, no. There is no video. I am just saying I feel like I am the villain in one of those stories you see online. You know, where the boss is being unreasonable about remote work and everyone in the comments is like, want to control people because she has been posting about it. Not naming the bakery, but posting about how her boss fired her for wanting flexibility and work-life balance. And some of her friends have been coming into the shop and giving me these looks.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>No, I mean, I am very pro-remote work. And I'm one of those people that thinks employers are unreasonable when they're trying to make people come into the office. But it's a different kind of work. There is no interaction with customers. There's don't have to be physically present. And a lot of times, me being physically present is detrimental to the work. Like, I do better work from, you know, home. That being said, it's a different role if you have to deal with the public, if you're, if you have to maintain a storefront. And if somebody's not coming into work and they're supposed to, even if they're doing part of the job, that's only part of the job. And you were not wrong to fire. You were not villainous here. And that's not about control, that's about business.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>Oh, gosh. Well, when you put it like that, I guess I see what you mean. But it still feels like I am the bad guy, because she is making it sound like I am just being stubborn. Like, she keeps saying, I am not willing to adapt to the new way of working. And I get that, but it's a bakery. You can't just make bread in your kitchen and call it a day.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, a lot of people can, but if that's not what your bakery is about and you actually have a store and that's a different thing. You know, there are a lot of people that bake bread for like, little gas station stores and stuff and do sour dough and just sell it on the side. And that can be a legitimate business. But if that's not what your business model is, then you can't have employees that are trying to define what your business model is.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>Right, exactly. And the thing is, I have been doing this for 11 years. I know how the bakery works. I know what we need. And she has been here for like, a year and a half, and suddenly she is telling me how it should run.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, that's all right. You let her go, and now she can go find a more fully remote job, if that's what she really wants. It sounds like she didn't want to be part of your company, and that's okay, because at-will employment is a thing. You got to respect her for giving it a shot, though. I mean, she did her very best to make her own life and live it the way that she wanted. But if you can't have that at your business, because your business needs to be there to actually serve a purpose to the public, you're not the bad guy there. And it was actually very cool of you to let them work remotely at all during the dust storms. A lot of employers wouldn't have done that.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>Well, thank you for saying that. I mean, I was trying to be understanding. Nobody wanted to be out in that mess. But now I am doing everything myself and I have a wedding cake due tomorrow that I have not even started. And I have been up since three in the morning yesterday. And I am realizing I probably need to hire somebody new, but I am kind of terrified to do it now, because what if they pull the same thing?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, that's the risk of being a business owner and having employees, because you never know what they're going to do. They're the most variable part of your company. You just have to trust the interview process and make sure that whoever it is that you get is fully aware that they have to actually go to work. And it's not a remote job. And it's not a remote bakery job. That's all. And you should get off the phone with me and start making your wedding cake, because it takes a long time to do that, right? And it's already 4 a.m.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DEBBIE</span><p>Oh, shoot. You are right. Yeah, it is going to take me at least 12 hours.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, no problem. You're not a villain. You did the right thing and you were pretty cool to her. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to have to take a little break for a word from our sponsors.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, placebo leave. Okay, and, uh, oh, there he is. He's back. We got Silas on the line. Welcome back, Silas.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>Brother Luke, good to hear your voice again. Listen, I have to tell you. I was in the middle of our evening meditation circle when Nate called in earlier about losing his bar. And I broke form. Completely. Just started laughing. Teresa shot me this look like I'd interrupted a funeral. That poor man losing the cottonwood because his ex started dating the bartender.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Oh, that's not nice to laugh at somebody's misfortune like that, brother Silas. But you make up for it in the fact that you run your meditation circles to Luke at the roost. That is, we tip your hat to you, sir.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>You know, Luke, I appreciate that. But I have to be honest with you, we don't usually have the radio on during meditation. One of our newest seekers, this kid named Brandon, he smuggled in a little transistor radio because he said he couldn't sleep without your show. Caught him with an earphone in during the circle. Normally, I'd say that's breaking the practice. But the more I think about it, your voice has this quality that actually helps people settle into themselves.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I do what I can to help, you know, Silas.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>You're calling in tonight so Marcus and Kara you remember them from my last couple calls they went through the renewal ceremony like you suggested and Marcus he stood up in front of everyone recommitted fully talked about shedding his old patterns the whole thing beautiful moment</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That is fantastic news so everything's going well down there</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>Well that's the thing brother Kara didn't recommit she stood there during her turn looked at all all 40 of us in the circle. And she said she appreciated the community, but she couldn't keep pretending. Said she was leaving.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, that shouldn't surprise you very much. You knew she was on her way out and she didn't really want to be there. She just came back for the dude. And how's that going to work out? Is Marcus staying?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>That's exactly what's eating at me, Luke. Marcus stayed. He chose the wellspring over Kara. She packed up her things two days ago, stay with her sister and Marcus is still here.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, so now you're back in the same situation you were a few weeks ago. And that's okay. You know, not every relationship is meant to last forever. Sometimes people got to split up. If the wellspring's important to Marcus and Kara didn't want in her life, then so be it. Then they're not aligned. They're not on the same life path.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>You're right. You're absolutely right. And I told myself the same thing. People are find their path. But here's what's got me twisted up. Marcus is falling apart.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, yeah, this all just happened, and that's a hard thing to go through losing half of yourself there. But he decided to stay at the Wellspring, and that's what he's going to do, and you're going to support him, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>Of course we're supporting him, brother. But something about it just doesn't sit right with me. He's not eating. He skips the shared meals. He's out there at three in the morning walking the property line. Yesterday, during our morning circle, he just started crying. Not the good kind of release we talk about in the practice, but this hollow, broken sound.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it's a sad and difficult thing, and people go through stages of grief when they lose a relationship like that. I mean, you loved her. But obviously, whatever's going on at the wellspring was more important to him than that love. And that's something that you need to look at.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>Luke, I need to tell you something. Last night, Marcus came to my cabin around two in the morning. Woke me and Teresa up. He was standing there in the moonlight, and he said, Silas, did I make the right choice? And I froze, brother. I didn't know what to say to him.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you can't make the choice for him, right? He made the choice that he made and if he changes his mind, he's still free to do that. So I think you just, you have to maybe sit down with him and tell him to pick a path and he can't have both. He can have one or the other and it's not going to work out where Kara and him live happily ever after at the Wellspring. That's just, that's not an option here. And he's a, he's a grown man. He can make his decision and stick to it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>You're right. He's a grown man. He's a grown man. You're right. He's a grown man. But here's what I keep coming back to. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if we pushed him toward this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, from our previous conversations, it doesn't sound to me like you did push him towards that. It sounds like you tried to push him towards his wife, and you tried to keep them together, and you really wanted that for them. So if he's making this choice, he's making it alone, unless there's more information about what you did here that you haven't told us.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>No, you're right. We didn't push him directly. But, Teresa, said something to me this morning that's been rattling around in my head. She said, Silas, we built a place where leaving feels like failure. And I've been sitting with that all day, brother. Because Marcus stood up in that renewal ceremony. And when Kara said she was leaving, I saw the look on everyone's faces. Not judgment, exactly, but this.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>This what? What exactly was the look? Was it a look at disdain? Was it, are people looking at her like the enemy now because she's a traitor?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>Not disdain exactly. More like pity. Like she was making a mistake. Like she was choosing the false world over the real one. And I didn't correct that, Luke. I stood there and I let that energy fill the room.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, you know what? Maybe she is making a mistake and maybe she's not. Maybe you're all making mistakes and nobody can be the judge of what's right and what's wrong, really. People try all the time but nobody really knows. People do what is right for them. And what is a mistake for Kara might not be a mistake for Marcus and vice versa.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>That's fair. That's really fair. But here's what I can't shake. Marcus told me at two in the morning. He said, I stayed because I didn't want to disappoint you. I didn't want to let down the community. Not because he believed in the current.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, why do you think that is? Why do you think Marcus doesn't want to let you down?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">SILAS</span><p>Because I gave him purpose when he didn't have any brother. When Marcus showed up here three years ago, he was lost, working some dead-end job in Los Cruces, drinking too much, no direction. And I told him he mattered. I told him he was part of something bigger.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, and you meant that. He's part of a bigger community, right? Obviously, you told him something that his wife did not tell him. He wasn't getting that comfort from her. So he decided to stay with you. And he feels like that's the right thing for his life.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>Hey, Luke, so I'm calling from the stock room at my bar right now, because I literally cannot be around customers after what I just saw. I went over to my Uncle Sal's place this afternoon to help him move some boxes out of his garage, right? Uncle Sal, 73 years old, Deacon's Sacred Heart, the guy who does the readings every Sunday. I open this box, and it's a photo album. And Luke, I'm not even kidding, it is full of pictures of my uncle at Burning Man wearing nothing but turquoise body paint and a leather harness.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I think we've had this conversation before. You called in once before and told us about this. Or somebody else found that box. I've heard this story before, though.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>No, Luke, that wasn't me. I've never called your show before. This literally just happened today. I mean, maybe somebody else found their uncle's burning man photos? I don't know. But this is my first time calling and this is my uncle's Sal we're talking about.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, somebody else found their uncle's burning man. It was a woman, actually. She found the burning man photos. But they were the same ones. They were a deacon and he was in turquoise and leather.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>Wait, seriously? That's insane. was her uncle also nicknamed Freight Train? Because that's what's really killing me here. My uncle, Sal, has a laminated badge in one of these photos, and his Burning Man name is Freight Train.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't recall his Burning Man name, but Freight Train is as good as any. So what's the problem? Good for your uncle. He's living his best life out there in the desert on the Playa.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>Okay, first of all, I know you just said living his best life to mess with me. But Luke, this is the man who lectures me about keeping the Sabbath holy. He told me last Christmas I was going to hell for living with my girlfriend before marriage.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, and what's unholy about wearing leather and turquoise? Nothing. He was maybe leading a church group down there. There's all sorts of people that go to Burning Man. There wasn't necessarily anything off color, unacceptable, morally ambiguous going on. You don't know that.</p></div>
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>Luke, there are multiple years of photos, multiple years. And in one of them, he's on an art car with a woman in a gas In another one, he's at what looks like a sunrise service, except it is definitely not the Catholic kind.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, what are you going to do? You're going to bust his balls for it? The man's 72 years old.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>73. And honestly, I don't even know what I'm going to do. Part of me wants to just pretend they never saw it. Put the box back. Never speak of it again. But Luke, every time he opens his mouth now about morality or tradition, or the right way to live, I'm going to be thinking about freight train and turquoise body paint.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, it sounds like any other self-respecting Catholic that talks a bunch of shit when they're at church and then goes to Burning Man at night. That's part of the deal. That's one of the great benefits of Catholicism is hypocrisy.</p></div>
|
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>You know what? You're right. That's actually exactly what it is. The whole confession thing, right?</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, the whole confession thing. Yeah, you go out and you do a bunch of drugs and bang a bunch of girls at Burning Man and then you confess to your sins and you're free.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>But here's the thing that's really getting me, Luke. Do I say something to him? Because I can't just act normal around him now. He's coming to the bar tomorrow night for his usual Friday fish fry.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>And I'm going to be standing there pouring his core's light, knowing that somewhere in his garage, there's a photo of him wearing nothing but body paint and calling himself freight train. I think you don't have to say anything. You can. I don't know what your relationship is with your uncle. His name's Uncle Sal, so he sounds like he's pretty cool. Maybe you could bring it up in a joking kind of a manner. but I don't think it matters that much. I'd leave him alone. He's old. Let him enjoy his life and just like the rest of us. If you're going to go to church and pretend to be Catholic, pretend to be Catholic. Pretend to be Catholic. That's the deal.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>Yeah, I hear you. But Luke, this is the same guy who gave me a 20-minute lecture last month about respecting tradition and honoring the family name. And now I know that his idea of honoring tradition involves turquoise body paint on the plier. How do I take anything he says seriously after this?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Honestly, sir, If you took anything he said seriously before this, I don't know what to tell you. Because nothing that any of them are saying can be taken seriously.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">BENNY</span><p>You know what? That's fair. That's actually really fair. I guess I've been giving him way too much credit this whole time. Maybe the turquoise body paint version of Uncle Sal is actually more honest than the deconversion.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>You never know. People can be more than one thing, and often are. Next up, we've got Peggy. Peggy, welcome to the show. What's going on? How can we help you tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting here in the DMV break room. I pulled a double covering someone's shift. Still got my blazer on from this morning with coffee stains on both sleeves, and I just need to tell you about what happened tonight, because I am losing my mind. Three weeks ago, I took early retirement. I'm 32 years old.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Wow, you retired at 32 and now you're doing it double. That's quite a turn of events.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>Right? I keep telling people I'm too young to be retired like it's some kind of joke. But three weeks ago, I walked out of that HR office feeling like I won the lottery. I had on my Navy slacks, the cream blouse, the good earrings my mom Diane gave me before she had her stroke. I remember everything about that day. The HR lady had this vanilla candle going in her office, trying way too hard to make it cozy, and I signed those papers thinking I was set. But then tonight, tonight my husband tells me he's been covering our mortgage shortfall with his poker winnings for the last eight months. Poker winnings, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, congratulations. He's good at the poker, it seems.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>That's what he said. He sits me down tonight and he's like, don't worry. I've been winning. We're fine. And I'm standing there thinking, okay, so our entire financial stability for the last eight months has been riding on whether or not he gets a good hand. And here I am, I just retired thinking we had this cushion, thinking we were responsible adults who planned things out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>professional poker players can definitely be professional poker players. And that's planning things out. I mean, more than people in other roles ever would have to do. Like, he's got to have strong bankroll management, and he's got to have a lot of patience and skill in order to consistently win like that. And if he's spent covering you for eight months, that's a long time. That's a lot of mortgage payments. So he's doing something right. Have you looked at his stats? Where's he getting the bulk of his money from? Is he playing cash games? Is he playing tournaments? Does he go to Vegas? What's the deal?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>No, no, no. Luke, this is not some professional setup. He's playing at the horseshoe with guys from his work. It's Friday night games, sometimes Wednesdays. He's not tracking stats. He's not managing a bank roll. He told me tonight he's up overall. But when I asked him how much exactly, he got all vague and said enough to cover what we needed. That's not a professional. That's my husband gambling to pay our mortgage and not telling me about it until after I've already signed early retirement papers.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, well, you can't look at him like he's the irresponsible one when you retired early at 32 years old without knowing what your husband does for a living. And then you called in this radio show and you told me that you were in the break room at the DMV after getting off a double. Well, you just retired at 32. So what is the deal? Are you retired or are you not retired? Did you actually leave your job without knowing how much money you had in the bank? How can you expect me to take that seriously?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>Okay, fair point. I took the retirement package thinking we had enough saved. And then I picked up this shift tonight because Sandra called me crying about her kid being sick and I felt bad. But I knew what our savings looked like, Luke. I knew what our monthly expenses were. What I didn't know was that for eight months we've been short and my husband has been making up the difference at a poker table instead of telling me we had a problem.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's not how it works. You can't retire from a company and then take somebody's shift because you're no longer an employee of the company. So what are you talking about? Obviously you didn't know how much money you had if you were short and your husband had to make up that money. So you're lying to me in multiple ways.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>Okay, right. I didn't fully retire. I took the package. I signed the papers, but I'm still on as a contractor while they transition my replacement. That's why I can still pick up shifts. What was the package? It was a buyout. They were downsizing the office, offering people a lump sum to leave early. I got $42,000, which sounds like a lot until you realize that's supposed to tide us over until I find something else, and our mortgage is $1,800 a month, plus everything I thought between that and what we had saved and me finding another job within a few months. We'd be fine.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>That's not retirement. If you're going out to find another job, you're not retiring. What are you talking about? $42,000 and your mortgage is $1,800? Come on, it's been eight months. How are you short? This doesn't make any sense, lady.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>No, no. It's been three weeks since I took the package. The eight months is how long my husband has been covering the short shortfall before I even knew about it. Before I took the retirement offer, we were already short before I left, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, well, that's not retirement if you're 32 years old, and they gave you a package and you're immediately looking for another job. But you've got 42 grand, and you've only got to pay 1,800 a month. So you've got lots and lots and lots and lots of months to figure it out.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>Except we don't have the full 42 anymore, because I already put some toward bills we were behind on. Bills, I didn't know we were behind on until tonight. And yes, you're right. It's not retirement. I just thought it sounded better than saying I got laid off and took a buyout. But the point is, I made this huge decision thinking we were stable. And it turns out we haven't been stable for almost a year. And my husband just didn't tell me.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, that's a conversation you're going to have to have with your husband. And it sounds like you're both financially irresponsible. And you're a liar, too. So, I mean, I've... I've had about enough of you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>Wait, hold on. How am I the liar here? He's the one who hid eight months of mortgage problems from me while I'm making major career decisions. I'm not saying I handled everything perfectly, but he looked me in the eye every month and didn't say a word about us being short.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Because you were laid off from your job and you called in and telling me that you were retired at 32, which is absurd. And, uh, yeah, so your husband wasn't... fully upfront with the bills. You should have been very much aware about what your financial picture looked like before you made any career decisions. And if you didn't, that's on you.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you and your husband need to sit down and talk about your lives and your money and what you're going to do. Luckily, he's been winning at poker and covering up the shortfall. And you've got a nice long buffer to find yourself another job. So there's no problem here, except the one where you two aren't communicating and you're not taking responsibility for your financial health.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>You know what? You're right. this a retirement when it's not. And I should have known exactly where we stood before I signed anything. I guess I'm just... I'm scared, Luke. I thought we were doing okay and now I don't know what else I don't know about.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, I know what you don't know about. And it's my new tool, CareerPulse. And CareerPulse is a free and open source tool that runs in Docker. You can install it and it will pull all the jobless things from 11 different job boards and score them based on your resume. And then, additionally, it will look at your resume and fill out a job application profile with the information in it. And then there's a Chrome extension that you can install in your browser that will do the auto filling of the applications. So you can find the best jobs that you're the most qualified for and simplify the application process. So that should be able to help you out. You can check it out at career pulse.machelmediagroup.com.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PEGGY</span><p>Okay, I look into that. Thank you, Luke.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>All right, good luck there, Peggy. One more call for the night. We're going to talk to Phil. Phil, you're going to be our last caller. What do you have to talk about tonight?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">PHIL</span><p>All right. So my neighbor's Roomba broke into my house through the dog door about 20 minutes ago. And I'm currently watching it vacuum my kitchen floor. So that's a thing that's happening.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Nope. We already took that call. We'll try one more. Hey, Dot. Dot. you have something going on tonight for the last call of the evening?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>Yeah, Luke. I do. So I'm sitting here at the front desk of the hotel, middle of the night, and I just found out my car is worth $12,000, which would be great news except I paid $4,000 for it last year. I bought it for my husband's friend, Rick.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>So you made $8,000 on the vehicle, and it's not great news?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>No, Luke, because Rick sold it to me. He didn't just undervalue it by accident. Rick flips cars.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, I don't understand what you're getting. You think Rick was maybe hitting on you with this, or he was just trying to help somebody else that needed help?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>Because he could. He told us he was helping us out. That was the whole thing. My husband kept saying how generous Rick was being. What a good friend he is.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Okay, get to the point. What are you trying to say? Because it sounds like Rick is a nice, generous guy that helped you out by selling you a car for less than a... was worth and good for you. What is the problem? Why are you calling me?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>Because my mechanic told me Rick absolutely knew what it was worth. This is what Rick does. He buys cars. He fixes them up. He sells them.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, I know what Flip means. I understand the situation. He sold you a car for less than it was worth. Why is that a problem? And why did you call me?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>Because I could sell this car right now and pay off a chunk of the mortgage. Or finally get the air conditioning fixed. But Rick comes over for dinner every other Sunday. My husband thinks he did us this huge favor. And I'm sitting here thinking Rick's got plenty of money. He knew exactly what he was doing. And now I've got 12 grand sitting in my driveway that I could actually use.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah, you are actually using it. You're using it to drive to work every day. What is your problem, lady? This dude helped you own, and now you're being a total cunt about it.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>Whoa. Okay. Luke, he didn't help us out. He made money off us while pretending to do us a favor.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What are you talking about? You said it's worth 12 grand, and you paid four. How is that making money off of you?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>Because he could have sold it to somebody else for 12, and he sold it to us for four, while acting like he was being charitable. That's $8,000 he left on the table, so he could look like a hero at Sunday dinner.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>What is wrong with you? He helped you out. He gave you a nicer car than you can afford for not that much money. What the... Fuck.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>You're not hearing me. He made it sound like we needed charity. Like we were the poor friends he had to take care of.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know what you want me to tell you, because it sounds like he did a nice thing for a friend. And you should be grateful that he gave you a really good price on a decent car. That's all that happened here. You're a nutcase.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>So I should just keep my mouth shut and smile at Sunday dinner, while Rick gets to feel like a for the rest of my life.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what you should do.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>Even though I know he manipulated the whole situation to make himself look good?</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>I don't know what you're talking about. He didn't manipulate anything. He sold you a car cheap. There's nothing wrong with that. Is there a problem here? Is there something else going on that you're not saying? Because I don't understand why you can't get this through your skull. That this dude, Rick, just sold you a car cheaper than it was worth. Because he could. Because he was a good friend. there doesn't seem to have been any ulterior motive.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>Luke, the ulterior motive is that now my husband thinks Rick walks on water. Every time I suggest we could sell the car and use the money, my husband says, but Rick was so generous. We can't just turn around and sell it. Rick bought himself 15 years of gratitude for $4,000.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It's a small price to pay.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>For what? So Rick gets to be the hero for a...</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It was a nice thing to do. That's all there is to it. He did a nice thing. And you don't have to suck his dick for it. You just, like, thanks for the car, man. You don't even have to let him know you know what the value is. It's not like he's rubbing it in your face.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>But he is rubbing it in our face. Every Sunday dinner, he's there. And my husband brings it up. Remember when Rick hooked us up with that Subaru. And Rick does this humble thing where he waves it off like it was nothing. It's a performance.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>It doesn't matter. Stop it. Whatever is this mock indignation you're feeling is a performance, too.</p></div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">DOT</span><p>It's not mock indignation. I'm genuinely pissed off that this guy gets credit for being generous when he could have actually been generous and just given us the car for what he paid for it, or told us what it was really worth.</p></div>
|
||||||
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<div class="transcript-turn"><span class="transcript-speaker">LUKE</span><p>Well, he was generous, and you're an asshole, and that is the end of our show, folks. We'll talk to you again tomorrow night. Bye.</p></div>
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<a class="episode-nav-prev" rel="prev" href="/episode/episode-34-hidden-rooms-potlucks-and-mysterious-notes/">← Episode 34: Hidden Rooms, Potlucks, and Mysterious Notes</a>
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<a class="episode-nav-next" rel="next" href="/episode/episode-36-late-night-confessions-and-unexpected-moments/">Episode 36: Late Night Confessions and Unexpected Moments →</a>
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