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 LUKE: Alright, welcome back to Luke at the Roost. This is the Colin radio show where you call in and tell me what's on your mind. My name is Luke, I'm your host. If you'd like to call in, our number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luke. Let's get the show started and our first caller today is going to be Slim. Slim, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about today?
 SLIM: Hey Luke, yeah thanks for taking my call. So look, I won 50 grand on a scratch ticket on Monday and I haven't told a single person yet. Not my wife, not the church, nobody, and it's eating me alive because I'm a youth pastor, right? Right?
 LUKE: Wow, congratulations on your 50 grand win, what are you going to do with the money?
 SLIM: Well, that's the whole thing, Luke. I don't know. I mean, part of me wants to just pay off the truck, maybe fix the AC at the church because it's been broken since September and the board keeps saying there's no money.
 LUKE: Well, here's a question for you. If you're a pastor and you work at a church and you win the lottery, do you have to pay tax on that lottery winning?
 SLIM: Oh, yeah, absolutely. The state already took their cut when I claimed it, walked out with about 37 after taxes.
 LUKE: Oh, you've already got the money and you haven't spent any of it yet?
 SLIM: Nope, it's just sitting in the bank like a damn time bomb. I keep thinking about how my dad used to say, money's like a deer. You spook it, it's gone. And I'm standing there with a rifle full of buckshot, trying not to move.
 LUKE: Wow, that's one of the most confusing analogies I've ever heard in my life. But congratulations to you for your win. I can't imagine it's going to cost you 37 grand to fix the AC in your church.
 SLIM: No, you're right. Probably three, four thousand tops, but see, that's where it gets tricky. The second people find out I have this money, it's going to be slim. Can you help with the new himmels or slim? My sister's kid needs braces. I've been doing this job for 12 years, Luke.
 LUKE: And what is your lord and savior say to do with the money?
 SLIM: Man, that's the question I've been wrestling with all week. I keep going back to the parable of the talents. You know, the guy who buried his money in the ground got reamed for it. But then there's also, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing when it comes to giving. I've been praying on it every night this week, honestly.
 LUKE: Well, I think you're probably going to come to the right, uh, right decision and do the right thing with the money. Actually, you know what, I don't know if there is a right thing to do with the money. It wasn't there before. You wanted in the lottery. Good for you. Do you play the lottery a lot? How much are you, were you down to win this 50 grand?
 SLIM: First ticket I ever bought actually. Yeah, sure. I was at the circle K getting gas and just, I don't know, impulse five bucks. My wife doesn't even know. She thinks gambling's a sin. And honestly, I kind of agreed with her until I scratched that thing off in the parking lot and nearly dropped my coffee.
 LUKE: Well, you know, what the man with no sin throws stones first or whatever. Uh, good for you. Good for your congregation. I hope that the money goes to good use. And, um, and yeah, I don't think you have to feel bad about winning. Just do something good with the money and it's all good.
 SLIM: Yeah, you're right. I appreciate that, Luke. I think I've been making this harder than it needs to be.
 LUKE: For sure. And speaking of money, I got a question for you. How about you tell us about something that you bought once that you regret? Uh, something you spent money on and wished later that you hadn't.
 SLIM: Oh, man. That's easy. About eight years ago, I bought this used jet ski off some guy in Lord'sburg. Thought I'd take it out to Elephant Butte. You know, make a whole thing of it with the youth group.
 LUKE: You bought a, uh, Lord'sburg jet ski. How did that work out?
 SLIM: No, no, Lord'sburg. It's a town about an hour west of here. Oh, yeah. But yeah, the jet ski paid $2,200 bucks for it. Drove it up to the lake exactly one time. Thing broke down in the middle of the water. Had to get towed back to shore by some guy on a pontoon boat.
 LUKE: Hey, well, now I guess the good news is you get 37 grand.
 SLIM: You know, the thing's been sitting under a tarp behind my garage for seven years. I think my wife would actually divorce me if I put another dime into it. She brings it up every time I want to buy anything. Remember the jet ski slim? It's like my personal scarlet letter back there.
 LUKE: All right. Thanks for the call slim and, uh, congratulations on your big lottery win. Uh, just don't take it back to the casino and you should be all right. Next up on the line, we have, uh, Sandy. Sandy, welcome to the show. What's what's on your mind today, Sandy?
 SANDY: Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I got into it with my neighbor tonight, like physically got into it. And I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I need to call the cops or if that's just going to make everything worse. We've been going back and forth for months now, but this time she actually shoved me in my own driveway.
 LUKE: shoved you how just to like a little pusher where you actually injured in some way, where you did you fear for your life in this altercation?
 SANDY: No, I mean, I didn't fall or anything, but it wasn't like a little tap either. She put both hands on my shoulders and pushed me back hard enough that I stumbled. The thing is I'm honestly more pissed off than scared, you know? But that's what's got me worried because I shoved her right back and now I'm thinking if I call the police, she's going to say I started it. This whole thing kicked off because her dog keeps shitting in my yard and she refuses to pick it up.
 LUKE: Okay, so the dog shits in your yard, she's not picking it up and, uh, and how does that turn into an altercation? You obviously confronted her about the dog shitting situation.
 SANDY: Yeah, so tonight I'm coming home from a birth. I was up for like 16 hours and I step right in a fresh pile getting out of my car. I lost it, walked straight over to her place and knocked on the door with the bottom of my shoe still covered in it.
 LUKE: I should have kicked her in the face.
 SANDY: Ha, I mean, I was tempted, but no, I just told her this is the third time this week and she needs to keep her damn dog on her own property.
 LUKE: Well, yeah, that's annoying, it's never fun to step in and pile a dog poo. But, uh, dogs do roam around and it is, uh, the outdoors and I understand that people own their yards and stuff and it's, that's not fun, but the same time it's kind of hard to control wild animals from doing wild animal things.
 SANDY: See, that's the thing though. This isn't a wild animal. It's her dog. She lets it out in the morning without a leash and it comes straight to my yard every single time.
 LUKE: Would it make any difference if it was a wild dog?
 SANDY: I mean, yeah, because then I couldn't go knock on someone's door about it, but this is her dog. She's responsible for it and honestly, if she just apologized once or picked it up, we wouldn't even be here. Instead, she tells me I'm being dramatic and that dogs go where they go. That's when my driveway and she followed me.
 LUKE: Okay, well, um, that's, that's no fun. It's never good to have a shitty situation with your neighbor. What are you going to do about it?
 SANDY: That's why I'm calling you, Luke. I don't know.
 LUKE: Well, uh, you could put up a fence, you could move, you could, uh, complain a lot at the town meeting. I don't, you can't really physically assault the woman. You can't call the police on her. I guess you could call animal control if you actually catch the dog in your yard. Are you positive that it's her dog? Have you actually caught the dog in the act?
 SANDY: Yeah, I've seen it. Walked outside two mornings ago and watched it squat right by my mailbox while she's standing on her porch drinking coffee. And I did call animal control last month.
 LUKE: All right. Thanks for the call, Sandy. Good luck with your, uh, your dookie shoes. And next on the radio show, we've got Keith. Keith, welcome to the show. You're calling back. What's up today, sir?
 KEITH: Hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm back. So I got an update on that video situation and I'm not going to lie. It got weird real weird. I ended up taking your advice kind of and I talked to her last week. Turns out she's been coming to the cemetery because her apartment is too quiet. And she likes hearing the highway noise from where I work.
 LUKE: See, I told you it wasn't real weird. That's not weird. What's weird about that?
 KEITH: Well, okay, that pot's not weird. You're right. But here's the thing. After we talked that first time, she started showing up on my shift specifically. Like she knows my schedule now and two nights ago, she brought me coffee. Just walked right up to the shed with two cups from that circle. K on Hudson and sat down like we were having a planned meeting.
 LUKE: Okay, that still doesn't sound very weird to me, sir. Let's get to the weird part.
 KEITH: All right. So last night, she asked if I wanted to come over to her place after my shift ends. Just straight up asked me. And I'm sitting there thinking, this woman is maybe 60, 65. And I'm married to Teresa. And I don't even know this lady's actual name. I've just been calling her this whole time.
 LUKE: Okay, so you got to let her down a little bit easy. Sorry, I'm married. It's not that weird that a lonely widow is looking for some companionship at the cemetery. I mean, maybe that's a little weird, but it's not that weird.
 KEITH: Yeah, I mean, you're right. It's not that weird when you say it like that. But here's where I messed up. I didn't say I was married. I panicked and told her I had to go check on something by the North fence. And I just walked away like a coward again.
 LUKE: Okay, well, why is that? Is it because you actually want something to go on with this widow? Is that what's the eating you up?
 KEITH: No, man, that's not look. I don't want anything with her. But things with Teresa have been so damn cold lately. We barely talk anymore except about bills or whose turn it is to take the trash out. And here's this woman who's actually interested in talking to me, bringing me coffee, asking about my day.
 LUKE: Yeah, I understand that. It's nice to feel wanted and seen and heard and all that. And it's okay for you to have other friends. I mean, you can befriend this woman without doing anything shady at her house behind your wife's back. There's nothing wrong with that.
 KEITH: You're right. I know you're right. But I'm not going to lie. Part of me keeps thinking about what it would be like to just say yes. Not even for anything physical. Just to sit in someone's living room and have a conversation where the other person actually wants to hear what I have to say. Teresa used to be like that.
 LUKE: Yeah, well, it sounds like you've got a couple things going on and I don't think it's that weird to go over somebody's house and have a cup of coffee and talk if you're seriously not into anything romantic or pursuing that relationship behind your wife's back. You might want to talk to Teresa about that before you start going over a strange woman's house though.
 KEITH: Yeah, that's the problem though. How do I even start that conversation? Hey, Teresa, there's this widow at the cemetery who wants to hang out. Is that cool? Yeah. She's already pissed at me half the time about stuff I don't even understand. Last week, she got mad because I didn't notice she rearranged the living room. I walked right past the couch in a different spot three times before she pointed it out.
 LUKE: Yeah, well, I mean, that sounds like marriage. So, I mean, you're in it. But I think that's exactly the way that you deal with it. Hey, I met a new friend. I'd like to hang out after work one day, have a cup of coffee and talk about stuff. It's not a romantic thing. I'm not interested. She's 65 years old and I'm married to you. Teresa, the love of my life who I would never have eyes for anyone else. And just make sure she knows that and she's got a problem with it then deal with that problem.
 KEITH: I hear you, but man, I don't know if I can say love of my life right now and have it sound real. She'd see right through that.
 LUKE: All right, well, if that's the truth then you and your wife need to sit down and have some hard conversations and figure out if you want to continue on living the way you're living because that's that's no good and you might be better off with this widow or, you know, somebody else.
 KEITH: Yeah, I've been sitting there thinking about that too. Maybe that's why this whole thing is eating at me so much.
 LUKE: Yeah, it could be. I mean, relationships are tough and if things have been downhill for a while and you don't see them moving in a positive direction, it's time to have some hard conversations.
 KEITH: The thing is, we used to be good, really good. I don't know when it changed exactly. Somewhere between the second mortgage and her mom getting sick and me taking this graveyard shift, no pun intended. We just sort of stop being on the same team.
 LUKE: I think that happens. I think there are ways that you can get back on the same team if you both want to, but you might also find that neither one of you even, you know, likes each other anymore and it's time to split up and that's okay too. I'm not going to lie.
 LUKE: Let's see. What's something you believed in 10 years ago that you don't believe anymore?
 EARL: Oh man, that's a hell of a shift. 10 years ago I thought the tea party was going to actually change things in Washington.
 LUKE: Well, things did change in Washington.
 EARL: Yeah, but not the way we thought. I mean, I was all in on that stuff. Smaller government, fiscal responsibility, the whole deal. Now I look at it, and I'm sitting there thinking none of these people actually meant any of it. They just wanted their turn at the trough.
 LUKE: Yeah, man, you're living you learn. That seems to be the way. No matter who is in the office. They do not give a fuck about you. All right, thanks for the call. Talk to your wife. Don't be a pussy. Next up on the line, we have Laurie. Laurie, welcome to the show. How can we help you today?
 LAURIE: Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I've been working from home doing data entry for like three years now. And honestly, it can get pretty isolating. But I'm also really into open source technology. And I spend a lot of my free time in these online communities, you know, contributing to projects, helping troubleshoot stuff.
 LUKE: I do know. I do a lot of that myself. So what are you working on?
 LAURIE: Oh, nice. Right now I'm actually contributing to this documentation project for a Linux distribution. Nothing glamorous, but it's stuff people actually use. And I've been learning rust on the side messing around with some smaller tools. But here's why I called. I was watching the Lost Finale the other day, right?
 LUKE: Oh, yeah, I just watched the Lost Finale a couple weeks ago or maybe a couple months ago now. But yeah, what about it?
 LAURIE: Okay, so it really got me thinking about community and how people come together around something bigger than themselves. And with Valentine's Day coming up, I'm sitting here alone most days, just me and my computer screen. And I realized, these open source communities, they're the closest thing I have to that feeling of belonging, you know? Like actually being part of something that matters.
 LUKE: Yes, I do know I totally understand that. And when I was a kid, I used to hang out in IRC in the on the free node network. And we had a channel called Linux people. And we did tutorials and wrote articles and helped people that were trying to learn Linux. They would pop into IRC and ask their questions. And we all tried our best to help them out. And I still talk to some of those people today. That's been over 20 years. People that I've never met that I met in those communities. So I don't think that's a bad thing at all.
 LAURIE: Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. And honestly, Luke, I think people don't get how real those connections are. Like my family thinks I'm just sitting here alone all the time, but I'm collaborating with people in Germany and Brazil and wherever working on actual things that help people. But I guess what's been eating at me is is that enough?
 LUKE: Do you feel like it's enough? I mean, I usually do, sometimes I don't, but most of the time I do feel like it's more than enough. That's a very personal question. How do you feel about it? It's obviously bothering you.
 LAURIE: I mean, most of the time, yeah, it feels good. But then like Thursday night rolls around and Valentine's Day is coming up. And I'm 29. And I look around my house and it's just quiet.
 LUKE: Quiet's very nice though. And 29's not all that old. You get plenty of time to do whatever you like. So I applaud you for spending your time doing productive stuff with the type of people that make you better at what you do. I think that's a good way to deal with your loneliness and to find some community and camaraderie out in the world.
 LAURIE: Thanks, I appreciate that. I guess part of me worries though. Like, am I using these communities as a substitute for something else? Or is this just what connection looks like now?
 LUKE: Yeah, there's probably some of both of that. Now connection can be, it can look like a lot of different things. You don't have to be in bed with somebody to have a connection with them. You could, you know, have a very good working relationship and friendship with somebody over the internet in Brazil. That's not all that strange or weird, especially today. I mean, 20 years ago when I was doing it and I was 12 years old, that was a little bit odd. But I don't think it's very strange now.
 LAURIE: You're right. And honestly, I heard Sandy call earlier tonight and I felt like she was holding something back about that whole neighbor situation.
 LUKE: Yeah, you know what, I think she was too. I certainly got that impression, but she wasn't going to spill it. So we're just going to have to go with her go with what she wanted to divulge. Anyway, Laurie, thanks for the call. Keep it up with your documentation project. And if you want to find somebody to hang out with on Valentine's Day, I'm sure you can do that. You sound like a very nice lady. You enjoy the remainder of your night, all right? Hey, Gus, Gus, welcome to the show. What's happening?
 GUS: Yeah. Hey, Luke, so my ex showed up at the pawn shop today with flowers like a whole bouquet and my girlfriend was there picking me up for lunch. She saw the whole thing through the window before she even came in. Now she won't talk to me and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to say to fix this.
 LUKE: Your ex brought you flowers on Valentine's Day at your work?
 GUS: Well, not quite Valentine's Day yet. It's Thursday, so we got a few days. But yeah, just showed up out of nowhere. I haven't talked to Melissa in like eight months. And she walks in with these roses talking about how she's been thinking about things. My girlfriend Sarah sees her through the window. And by the time she comes inside, Melissa's already gone, but the flowers are sitting right there on the counter. Sarah just looked at me, turned around and left.
 LUKE: Well, which one of them would you rather be with? Melissa or Sarah?
 GUS: Sarah? I mean, it's Sarah, no question. Melissa and I were done for good reasons. She couldn't handle that I work weird hours. Always wanted me to be someone I'm not.
 LUKE: Yeah, well, then problem solved. Just tell Sarah, hey, I didn't ask her to bring me these flowers. There's nothing going on here. I'm not interested in her anymore. And it's a free country. You know when somebody wants to bring your flowers, then all right, you wasted your 24 bucks.
 GUS: Yeah, I tried that. I called her like three times. Center text saying exactly that. I didn't ask for this. I don't want Melissa back. The whole thing.
 LUKE: Here's what you do. I got it figured out. So you take the flowers that Melissa gave you and you bring them home. And on Valentine's Day, you give those same flowers to Sarah and say these are for you.
 GUS: Oh, man, that's, I mean, Sarah's not stupid. She saw those exact flowers. They were these yellow roses with some kind of purple things mixed in. Real specific looking.
 LUKE: Yeah, well, I think she'll appreciate your frugality. There's no use to wasting the money on new flowers. If you already got something, you're not going to use. You might as well get some use out of them. That's what I say.
 GUS: I don't know, Luke.
 LUKE: I feel like showing up with the same flowers my ex brought me is going to make things about 10 times worse. Sarah's already pissed enough. Last thing I need is her thinking I'm too cheap or too clueless to get her her own flowers.
 GUS: Well, I mean, that's what I would do. I would, I would take the flowers that were given to me that I don't want and give them back to her and be like, here, here you go. I was thinking of you.
 LUKE: You know what? Maybe that works for you, but I think Sarah would throw them at my head. She's not the type to find that charming. She'd see it as me being either lazy or rubbing salt in the wound. I'm already in the doghouse here. I need to figure out how to actually fix this, not make it worse with recycled roses.
 GUS: Well, you didn't do anything wrong. So you really don't have anything to fix. If, uh, if there's jealousy going on there, then that's, that's really on her. You can just say, hey, I let her know. I did not prompt this in any way. There's nothing going on behind your back. I can't control what she does. She came and dropped off flowers and you saw it and that's unfortunate, but there's nothing going on there and you're the one that I want to be with and commit to her in that way. And if she's got a problem with it, then, uh, then you got to, then you got to deal with that and then you might be better off going back to Melissa.
 LUKE: I hear you, but it's not just jealousy. Sarah watched my axe walk into my workplace flowers and a whole speech about how she misses me and wants to try again. That's not nothing.
 GUS: It is nothing. It's nothing that you did. I mean, you can control that.
 LUKE: So yeah, but I didn't shut it down fast enough either. I just kind of stood there like an idiot while Melissa went on and Sarah saw that. I should have cut her off right away, told her to leave.
 GUS: Well, it sounds like you're a pussy either way. You can either stand up to your current girlfriend or you can stand up to your former girlfriend, but one way or the other, you're going to have to stand up.
 LUKE: You're right. I've been trying to keep everybody happy, and I'm just making it worse. I froze up with Melissa because I didn't want to be a jerk, and now Sarah thinks I was actually considering it or something.
 GUS: Just sit her down and have that conversation, and if that's a problem, then it probably shows how long you've been with this chick, Sarah. How long?
 LUKE: About eight months, we moved in together maybe two months ago, which I know was probably too fast, but rents expensive, and we were spending every night together anyway.
 GUS: Okay, well, you don't know this woman at all. So if something this small is going to cause strife in your life, maybe it's time to find another roommate.
 LUKE: That's the thing though. It's not really that small when you think about it. My ex showing up with flowers isn't like some random thing, and Sarah and I were solid before this. She's been good to me, better than Melissa ever was.
 GUS: All right, well then talk to her and get it worked out, and if she's a reasonable person, she'll come around. If she's not a reasonable person, then you're an idiot for dealing with that, but that's your choice, and that's my advice, and I'm sticking to it.
 LUKE: And now it's time to go to a word from our sponsors. Let's talk about mental health. Specifically, let's talk about brutal honesty, the therapy app that's tired of your shit. Unlike other apps with their calming voices and gentle affirmations, brutal honesty pairs you with an AI therapist that tells you what your friends are too nice to say. Did you try journaling about it? No, we're not doing that. Our algorithm analyzes your patterns and asks questions like, why do you think you deserve to feel better when you don't even drink water? And is your anxiety real or did you just have four cold brews on an empty stomach? Brutal honesty because coddling yourself got you here. First session is free, but it will hurt your feelings. Use code grow up at checkout. Brutal honesty, the app that blocks itself if you don't do the work. All right. Okay, let's see, we've got Darlene on the line. Hey, Darlene, what's the weirdest thing you've ever found in your car?
 DARLENE: Oh man, Luke, that's okay. So about three years ago, I'm cleaning out the bear's truck, right? And I find this whole rotisserie chicken, like the entire thing from the grocery store, still in the container, wedged under the passenger seat. It had been there for God knows how long, completely mummified.
 LUKE: What's the bear's truck?
 DARLENE: Oh, sorry, the bear, that's David, my husband. We've called him that since high school. He's got this big beard and he's just, you know, bear shaped. His truck, the one he drives to the plant every day.
 LUKE: All right, yeah, that's a little bit weird. You found a whole rotisserie chicken under the seat of your husband's truck. That was there for months and months.
 DARLENE: Yeah, and the thing is, he swore up and down, he had no idea how it got there, like who buys a whole rotisserie chicken and just forgets about it. But that's David. He'll stop at the store on the way home, get distracted and half the groceries end up living in that truck for weeks. But listen, that's not why I called.
 LUKE: Well, before you get to that, did you eat it?
 DARLENE: What? No.
 LUKE: Okay. All right. Why did you call darling? How can we help you?
 DARLENE: So I've been sitting on this resignation letter for two months now. Two months, Luke, I work at the DMV and I just, I can't do it anymore.
 LUKE: All right. So what's holding you up? Why are you sitting on it?
 DARLENE: I don't know what comes next. I mean, I'm 46 years old. We've got the mortgage. David's hours at the plant aren't what they used to be. And it's not like I have some big plan, you know? I just know I can't keep going in there every day, feeling like this.
 LUKE: I fully support that. Do you have any ideas as to where you're going to go or what you're going to do after you submit that letter?
 DARLENE: That's the problem. I don't. I mean, I've thought about it. Believe me. Maybe something with people that actually feels like it matters, you know? Not just processing renewals all day.
 LUKE: Well, are you looking to do work that matters or are you looking to get paid?
 DARLENE: Oh man, that's the question, isn't it? I mean, we need the money, obviously. But Luke, I've been doing this for almost 15 years and I just feel like I'm disappearing a little more every day.
 LUKE: Yeah, I understand that. And I think that's why I'm asking which you're looking to do. You can do both, but I think if you need the money, then you should focus on finding a job that's going to make you some money without distress and then take care of the importance or the fulfilling part after work in your personal life.
 DARLENE: Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I've been thinking it has to be one big thing, you know? Like the job has to be the answer to everything. But you're right. I could find something that pays the bills without making me miserable and then do something that actually means something on my own time.
 LUKE: Yeah, there are definitely jobs that can be both good money and fulfilling, but they're few and far between. And especially if you're leaving a job without another one lined up, I think my focus would be more on the salary with low stress and then find the community service aspect elsewhere because I don't think there's a lot of good paying community service oriented jobs that aren't stressful. I think when you add those three requirements up there's a there's a dearth of opportunity.
 DARLENE: You're right. I've been building this up in my head like it has to be perfect or else I'm just trading one trap for another. Maybe I just need to get out of the DMV first and breathe a little. Find something stable that doesn't make me want to scream and then figure out the rest.
 LUKE: There you go. Take yourself a little sabbatical, a couple of weeks off, figure out what it is you want to do. Find something, you know, maybe it'll fall into your lap.
 LUCILLE: But if you continue just hanging on at the DMV where you hate your life every day, it's not going to get better and the days are going to go by and you're going to find yourself there at 60 wondering why you didn't leave when you thought of it the first time. God that's what scares me the most. David keeps saying just give it another year but that's what I said last year and the year before that. I don't want to wake up at 60 still sitting behind that same desk with that resignation letter still in my drawer, you know.
 LUKE: Well, hand the letter in and jump off. I don't want to say jump off a cliff but, you know, take the leap, the leap of faith I guess and spend some time to figure it out and see what happens. What's the worst that could happen?
 LUCILLE: I mean, the worst is we can't pay the mortgage, right? But we've got some savings and David's got his job at the plant. We're not going to starve. And that's the worst. The worst is you can't pay the mortgage and lots of people have got into a situation where they can't pay the mortgage. There's financial assistance. You could live in a cheaper place. You can move. So if the worst is that you can't pay the bank, then you know, is that worth being miserable for the rest of your life for? No, no, it's not. You're right. I've been so scared of what could go wrong that I haven't even thought about what could go right. Maybe I finally sleep through the night again without grinding my teeth.
 LUKE: Well, I wish you the best of luck because being miserable all the time is not good for your health and you may not make it to 60 if you, if you stay stressed out about a job that you hate for a long time. Leon, Leon, welcome back to the show. How are you today?
 LEON: Oh, man, I'm doing all right, Luke. Thanks for having me back. So listen, I actually did it. I reached out to UNM yesterday about that computer science program.
 LUKE: Hey, congratulations. Good work. Did you reach out to the bank about the loan for that computer science program?
 LEON: Yeah, well, hold on. I haven't gotten that far yet. I just sent an email to the admissions office to see if they even still have programs for, you know, older students coming back. But here's the thing that's got me twisted up. Amber thinks I should just do one of those online boot camp things instead. Says it's faster and cheaper. And Manny's telling me I'm overthinking it and should just apply to the full degree program like I was going to do back in 96. I don't know who's right.
 LUKE: Well, I don't know who's right either, but I can tell you I'm not a fan of traditional schooling and I think it's designed to take your money and not provide you the value that that maybe you think. So my recommendation would be to not do that and take advantage of the learning opportunities that are free and all around you, like the whole of human knowledge that's available at your fingertips and just buckle down and learn on your own. But I recognize some people don't operate that way and if you need the structure of the college course, then then and you can afford it. Make sure you can afford it. Then do that.
 LEON: Yeah, see, that's kind of what's eating at me though. Like I said, I'm not great at the self-teaching thing. I've tried watching YouTube videos about Python and all that, but I just end up clicking around and not retaining anything. I need somebody to tell me what to do next, you know. But the money part, that's real. Amber and I sat down with the numbers last night and between what I've got saved and maybe cutting back on some stuff, I could swing a boot camp without taking out loans.
 LUKE: Well, that's fantastic. Then that's no brainer, you know, and don't bet the farm on it, but if you're just going to take a boot camp, that's not a four year degree, then absolutely go for it and congratulations on taking that step.
 LEON: Yeah, I appreciate that Luke. I'm still nervous as hell about it, but my daughter, she's the one who found that old letter. She keeps texting me asking if I've done anything yet. It's like she's holding me accountable, which is weird because I'm supposed to be the parent, you know.
 LUKE: Hey, you know, whatever works if she's holding you accountable and it's working for you and moving your life in a positive direction, then I'm for it. Good for you.
 LEON: Yeah, it is what it is. I guess I'm just calling because I wanted to tell somebody outside my circle, you know, like making it real. Man, he's been busting my balls about it for 20 years, so telling him doesn't count.
 LUKE: All right, well, I appreciate that you reached out to let me know. Uh, hey there. I got a question for you. What's something that you bought that actually changed your life?
 LEON: Oh, man, that's a good question. Let me think. Honestly, it was my Subaru.
 LUKE: It was your Subaru. How did that change your life?
 LEON: Well, I bought it used about five years ago right after my old truck finally died and it sounds stupid, but having something reliable, like something that actually starts every morning and doesn't leave me stranded. It changed how I felt about my job. I could take longer halls. I wasn't stressed about breaking down with somebody's car on the hook.
 LUKE: All right, that's a good one. Congratulations on your Subaru. Change your life. That's fantastic. And now it's time for another word from our sponsors. Stress, sore, skeptical, doesn't matter. Try placebo leaf, the CBD brand that may or may not do anything, but costs enough that you'll convince yourself it works. Our tinctures, gummies and topicals contain premium hemp extract, and your desperate need to feel better without addressing root causes. Is it the cannabinoids or is it the ritual of self-care? Who's to say placebo leaf is THC-free, vegan, organic, and backed by studies we vaguely reference but don't like to. Take our gummies before bed and sleep great, probably because you're tired anyway, but you'll credit us. Available in flavors like calm and focus. Concepts we've bottled and marked up for a hundred percent. Visit placeboleaf.com and use code chill for 25 percent off. placebo leaf, wellness is a feeling and feelings can be purchased. All right placebo leaf and we're going to take one more call tonight and our lucky last caller is Lucille. Lucky Lucille. Welcome to the radio show. What would you like to talk about today?
 LUCILLE: Hey Luke, it's Lucille.
 LUKE: That's what I said. Close enough.
 LUCILLE: So my kid just told me they're getting engaged to someone they met on the internet three weeks ago. Three weeks, Luke.
 LUKE: Your kid? You sound like you're about three weeks old.
 LUCILLE: I'm 30, Luke. My kid's 19. Yeah, I got married young myself right out of high school to David. So I'd get it, but this is different. They met this person online and have never even been in the same room together.
 LUKE: And they're getting married? How's that going to work?
 LUCILLE: Well, that's the thing. They're planning to meet in person for the first time next month, and apparently that's when they want to get engaged for real. Like the online part was just the warm-up. I don't even know if I should say something or just let them figure it out, you know?
 LUKE: I think the more you say, the more likely they are to do stupid things so you might want to just let them figure it out.
 LUCILLE: Yeah, that's kind of what David said too. But, Luke, I'm sitting here thinking about all the ways this could go wrong. Like what if this person isn't who they say they are? What if my kid flies out there and gets hurt or worse? I know if I push too hard, they'll just dig in. But doing nothing feels like I'm failing them.
 LUKE: Well, you could just have a conversation. That's usually my advice for everybody is sit down with the person that you need to talk to and talk to them. Let them know that you're concerned, but you support their decisions. And if it goes wrong, be there to pick them up when they fall.
 LUCILLE: You're right. I know you're right. It's just hard because I married David when I was 20 and everyone told us we were too young. And here we are 10 years later still figuring our shit out in therapy.
 LUCILLE: So part of me wants to say, I get it. Follow your heart. But the other part is screaming that at least David and I knew each other in person, you know? We had history. This feels reckless even by my standards.
 LUKE: Well, you know, just because his reckless doesn't mean it's wrong and you don't necessarily know best and they could fly out there and meet and have it work out perfectly.
 LUCILLE: That's probably not going to happen. And I think anybody with any life experience would know that. But but stranger things have happened like stranger things this show.
 LUKE: Ha, yeah, I guess so.
 LUCILLE: I mean, I don't want to be the mom who ruins this for them if it actually is something real. Maybe I'm just freaked out because Valentine's Day is coming up and they keep posting about how romantic it's all going to be. I think I just need to hear someone say it's okay to be worried, but still let them make their own mistakes. That's what you're supposed to do, right?
 LUKE: That is what you're supposed to do. It's okay to be worried but you still got to let people make their own mistakes.
 LUCILLE: Yeah, God, that's hard though. I keep thinking about what I would have wanted my parents to say to me back then. And honestly, I probably would have ignored them anyway.
 LUKE: Of course you would have. We all did. That's part of growing up is ignoring your parents good advice.
 LUCILLE: You know what's funny is I heard Sandy call earlier the one with the neighbor and the dog shit situation and I kept thinking she needs to just have a direct conversation instead of letting it build up. But here I am doing the same damn thing with my own kid just avoiding the uncomfortable talk.
 LUKE: Yep, you're going to have to have that talk with your kid and if you don't, that doesn't really matter either. She's going to go do what she's going to do and deal with the consequences. So you can you can be there for or you can be domineering and overpowering and pusher in the arms of a stranger. They can lope and vegas because they're mad at you. So better off to just have a hard to hard conversation. Let her know your concerns and let her know that you support her. So Lucille, what's the dumbest way you've ever injured yourself?
 LUCILLE: Oh Jesus, okay random turn but I'll bite. I was showing a house last year and tried to demonstrate how sturdy the deck railing was by leaning on it real hard and the whole thing just gave way. Though right into the bushes in front of the clients, sprained my wrist and had to finish the showing covered in mulch. They didn't buy the house.
 LUKE: That's too bad. All right well thanks for calling in. We appreciate we appreciate it. I hope everything works out with your daughter and her new husband and you don't worry about it too much. You know you've got your own relationship to worry about. That's the end of our show folks. Thanks to everybody that called in and we'll do this again tomorrow. So think about what you want to talk about and call in. You can call in the numbers 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luc.
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 LUKE: All right, all right. Welcome back. I am Luke. This is Luke at the Roost. It's the radio show where we take collars and give them real-life advice. If you'd like to call in, our number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luke. And today is Friday, February 13th, here in Anonymous. It's very windy. It gets nice and windy out here. So you might hear some noise in the background of our publication. Not much I can do about that. You're going to have to deal with it. I do. So hopefully the wind dies down and we can have a good show today. Already, we can see that the phones are lighting up and let's get our first collar on the line. Donnie, Donnie, welcome to the show. Happy Friday the 13th. How are you?
 DONNIE: Hey, Luke. Yeah. Happy Friday the 13th to you too. Look, I got to tell you something that happened today, the chevron that's got me all twisted up. I ran into my ex-wife sister, haven't seen her in probably 15 years. And she just stared at me like she'd seen a ghost, then turned around and walked right back out without getting her gas.
 LUKE: What'd you do? What'd you do to her sister?
 DONNIE: Oh, not my sister. My ex-wife sister, her name's Carol. And I didn't do anything to her. That's the thing. But she knows stuff, you know. She knows about why me and Diane split up back in the day. All the messy details that I thought stayed buried in Tucson when I moved out here to Yuma.
 LUKE: Oh, yeah, what kind of details does she have over you? What did she learn that she shouldn't know?
 DONNIE: Well, back when Diane and I were married, I had an affair with a woman I worked with at the plant in Tucson. It went on for about eight months and Carol found out before Diane did. She actually caught us together at this bar over on Grand Road. She's the one who towed Diane, which is what ended the whole marriage.
 LUKE: Well, actually, that's not quite true. You're the one that ended the whole marriage by cheating on your wife with another woman. So, I don't think you can blame the sister for that one. And it kind of makes sense that she didn't want to see you at the gas station.
 DONNIE: Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm not trying to blame Carol for what I did. That's on me, the affair, the lying, all of it.
 LUKE: All right, then. Why is this a strange situation for you to have dealt with today? I mean, that's the response you should expect from your ex-wife's sister that caught you cheating on her sister.
 DONNIE: Because it's been 15 years, Luke, and the way she looked at me wasn't just angry. It was like she was scared or shocked to see me. And here's the real thing that's eating at me. My current girlfriend doesn't know any of this. I never told her about the affair. Just said the marriage didn't work out.
 LUKE: Oh, yeah, well, you sound like a real piece of work. You're a real winner over there, Adani. Well, you know, it's Friday the 13th. She saw you. You don't know what happened between her and her sister. You know, maybe there's some resentment there because she's been blamed for breaking up the marriage that you so hastily ruined yourself. So, you know, she might have a good reason to not want to see you.
 DONNIE: You're not wrong about that. I never thought about it from that angle that maybe Diane blamed Carol for being the messenger instead of blaming me for actually doing it. That would eat at someone for 15 years.
 LUKE: Yeah, well, that's the kind of thing that happens. When you mess with people's lives in that way, especially family. So, I mean, you could have caused a rift between these siblings that you didn't intend to, as well as your own marriage. And you deserve to be looked at like a monster. That's what I say. So, good for you.
 DONNIE: Yeah, I hear you. I deserve that. But, Luke, the thing is, what do I do now? Do I tell my girlfriend before Carol potentially says something?
 LUKE: No, why would you do that? Why would Carol track down your new girlfriend just to tell her that you cheated on her sister 15 years ago? That would be pretty crazy. No, no, you leave it alone and pretend, just move on. Life is usual.
 DONNIE: That's what I was thinking, too, but I don't know. Carol had my number back then, and Tucson's not that big. What if she knows, Shelley somehow? I mean, Shelley works at the Credit Union downtown, and Carol used to work in banking, too. It's just got me paranoid, you know?
 LUKE: Yeah, Tucson's big enough. There's plenty of banking institutions in a 15-year gap. You are being paranoid, stop worrying about it, go about your life. And if it comes up and it ruins your new relationship, then deal with it then. And, you know, take accountability for your own part and all this.
 DONNIE: You're right. You're right. I'm spiraling over nothing. It was just a weird moment at the gas station. I need to let it go and stop creating problems that don't exist yet.
 LUKE: Yes, you do. Let it go and stop creating problems. Thanks for the call, Donnie. Stop being a dick and grow up. That's what I have to say to you. Next on the line, we have Jasmine. Jasmine, what do you think about Donnie's situation? You think he was in the right in any part of that?
 JASMINE: Oh, man. No, but seriously, Luke, I think Donnie's just scared. I get it, though. When you've done something that bad, you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But here's the thing. He ended one relationship with a lie, and now he wants to start another one with a lie.
 LUKE: Have you ever started a relationship with a lie?
 JASMINE: Well, yeah. I mean, not like Donnie's lie, but David and I, when we first got together after Donnie, I didn't tell him for like six months that I was still talking to Donnie about the kid's schedules. Not hiding it exactly, but not bringing it up either. David would have understood. But I was worried he'd think I was still hung up on my ex or something.
 LUKE: Yeah, well, you know, you got kids. You got to make accommodations for them. That makes perfect sense. What are you calling in for tonight?
 JASMINE: So I actually wanted to give you an update from the last time I called. Remember I told you about the Bronco situation? Sleeping in the guest room all that? Well, Valentine's Day is in like a week and a half. And David actually came to me yesterday and said he wants to take me to see the SpaceX launch on the 13th.
 LUKE: Well, that's pretty cool. Where's the SpaceX launch? Today is the 13th.
 JASMINE: Oh shit, is it? I've been losing track of days at the bakery. No, but seriously, I mean the one they're doing live coverage of. The astronauts going to the International Space Station. David knows I watch every single launch and he said we could drive out to the spot he knows where we can see it better on a screen at this bar that does viewing parties. He's never offered to do anything like that before.
 LUKE: Well, that's awesome. I hope you have a great time watching the SpaceX satellites launch. I've actually never seen that. I see pictures of it after the fact, but I've never caught one. I've seen the actual satellites, you know, the trail of Starlink satellites going across the sky like Santa's sleigh, but I haven't seen a launch.
 JASMINE: Oh man, you need to watch one live, Luke. It's incredible. I get chills every single time, especially when the boosters land back. It's like something out of a science fiction movie.
 LUKE: Well, it sounds like you're going out into the wilderness to have yourself a science friction movie.
 JASMINE: Yeah. Oh, Jesus, Luke. Yeah. Well, here's the thing though. I don't know if he's doing this because he actually wants to or because he feels like he has to, you know, like is this a genuine olive branch or is he just trying to fix things before Valentine's Day because he's supposed to?
 LUKE: Does it really matter? Do you care? As long as you get to go out and have some one-on-one time with the dude and is it? What's the difference?
 JASMINE: I mean, yeah, you're right. I guess I'm just scared it's going to be awkward, you know. We haven't really talked about the whole Bronco thing since it happened.
 LUKE: Yeah.
 LUKE: You said you were going to leave him for your Ford Bronco, and now you're worried that his olive branch isn't, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Authentic enough for you? Come on.
 CALLER: Okay, okay, you're right. I'm being ridiculous. No, but seriously though, what if we get out there and we just sit in silence the whole time? We've barely said two words to each other in weeks that weren't about the bakery or whose turn it is to take up a trash.
 LUKE: Well, you know, sitting out in the wilderness watching a monumental event like that in silence is not so bad. So I would say if you don't have anything to say, don't say anything, just enjoy the moment and keep it as a fond memory.
 CALLER: You know what, you're right. I'm overthinking this. Maybe that's what we need, just to be together without forcing conversation, without all the guilt hanging over us.
 LUKE: Now, if it were up to you, if you could control the situation, what would you talk about during the SpaceX launch?
 CALLER: Oh man, I don't know. I guess I'd want to talk about like where we go from here, you know? Not in some heavy, we need to talk about our relationship way, but just...
 LUKE: So nothing. So you get nothing to say. So you're afraid it's going to be awkward because you don't know what to say because you got nothing to say. How's the Bronco?
 CALLER: The Bronco's good. Real good actually. Got the carburetor tuned last weekend. Run smooth now.
 LUKE: All right then. Why don't you tell them about your Bronco? I'm sure he'll be excited to hear about all the the new news there. Dennis, Dennis, welcome to the show. Happy Friday the 13th. What can we help you with?
 DENNIS: Oh man, yeah. Happy Friday the 13th is right. So Luke, I'm calling because I did something really stupid about three weeks ago, and it's all kind of falling apart on me. Now, I met this woman. We had this crazy intense connection, and I signed a lease with her after knowing her for like three weeks, and now I'm living with her, and she is not the person I thought she was at all, like completely different behind closed doors, and I don't know what the hell to do because I'm on this lease.
 LUKE: Well, you'll never do that again. That wasn't very smart. What's the lease say? What are the terms of your lease?
 DENNIS: It's a year lease man. We just signed it maybe two and a half weeks ago. It's a little place over in the East Valley. Nothing fancy, but it's not cheap either. I think we can break it, but there's penalties. You know, lose the deposit maybe over a couple months rent on top of that. I'd have to look at the actual paperwork, but I know it's not just a walk away situation.
 LUKE: Well, that sounds like you've got to make the best of it. I mean, lots of people have had a roommate that didn't like for a year. You could do anything for a year. And who knows, you might grow to enjoy the company of this stranger.
 DENNIS: Yeah, but Luke, it's not just that we don't click as roommates. This is someone I was sleeping with. Someone I thought I was starting a real relationship with, and now it's like, she's got this whole other side that comes out.
 LUKE: What's the other side? Are you still sleeping with her?
 DENNIS: No, we're not. That stopped about a week ago. The other side is like, she's controlling about everything in the apartment. Where I put my stuff, when I come and go, she wants to know every detail of my day. And she's got this temper that just comes out of nowhere over nothing.
 LUKE: Then what's your personality like? Are you going to stand for that? Are you going to stand your ground and say, hey, that's enough. I put my stuff on the right side of the bed. You sleep on the left side of the bed.
 DENNIS: I mean, I've tried saying something a couple times, and it just turns into this whole thing where she's crying or yelling or both. I'm not great with confrontation, especially after my divorce. That whole thing kind of beat me down, you know? I've been trying to just keep the peace. Stay out of her way when I can, but it's my place too.
 LUKE: It's your place too, but it's not going to be if you give her the run of the land, so you're going to have to stand up for yourself eventually. It's going to be a long year, my friend.
 DENNIS: Yeah, you're right. I know you're right. I just, I guess I'm realizing I jumped into this because I was lonely. You know, two years out from the divorce, and I'm still not really back on my feet emotionally.
 LUKE: Yeah, absolutely. I understand, but jumping into a lease with a woman you just met is in a good way to deal with loneliness, or you end up in a situation like the one you're in right now where you don't know where your toothpaste is. So I recommend that, I don't want to say be a dick, but you got to stand up for yourself and take some control of the situation.
 DENNIS: You're absolutely right. I need to stop being a pushover about this. I'm going to go home tonight, and we're going to have a real conversation about boundaries.
 LUKE: All right, there you go. And I bet once you do, you'll be sleeping with her again because chicks love that stuff.
 DENNIS: I don't know about that Luke. Honestly, at this point, I'm more worried about making you through the lease without losing my mind than getting back in bed with her. But yeah, I hear you. I appreciate it, man.
 LUKE: Well, where are you sleeping now? You on the couch? You on the floor? What's the deal?
 DENNIS: I'm on the couch. She took the bedroom. I've been out there for like eight days now with my pillow in a blanket, watching spacetime episodes on my phone at like two in the morning trying to fall asleep. It's ridiculous. I'm 40 years old sleeping on a couch in my own apartment.
 LUKE: What's your financial situation? Like you get enough money to walk out on that lease?
 DENNIS: I mean, not really. I work in logistics. I'm doing okay, but I'm not flush with cash. Breaking the lease would probably cost me a couple thousand bucks. I don't have sitting around. Plus first and last on a new place. And honestly, the rental market out here right now is brutal.
 LUKE: All right. Well, I have the conversation with the woman and see what you can do to get back in the big bed if you want to be there. Or get used to sleeping on the couch, but either way, you're going to have to claim some space in your apartment and make it your own and deal with it for a year. I think you can do that. I have faith in you.
 DENNIS: Yeah, you're right. I can do this. I just need to stop being so passive about the whole thing. Thanks, Luke. I needed to hear that.
 LUKE: All right, Dennis. Thanks for the call and good luck. And now it's time for a word from our sponsors. Reading is dead. You killed it. But you can pretend you're literate with script drift. The audiobook service for people who start books and never finished them. We have thousands of titles you'll sample for 11 minutes before switching to a true crime podcast. Our app remembers exactly where you abandoned sapiens eight months ago, waiting patiently like a disappointed parent. Script drift uses advanced AI to recommend books based on your aspirations, not your actual follow-through. This month's suggestion of 400 page philosophy text you'll listen to while doing the dishes and retain nothing. Try script drift free for 30 days. Use code pretentious for two months at 60% off. Script drift. Your goodreads profile is a lie. Okay, welcome to the show, Francine. Francine, are you the Francine? I know the one that comes and goes. Tell me, Francine, what's one thing you refuse to cheap out on?
 FRANCINE: Well, hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm the Francine who calls in sometimes. One thing I refuse to cheap out on. Good hiking boots, man. I learned that the hard way when I was out in your superstition mountains and my cheap pair fell apart halfway through a 10 mile loop. Had to wrap them with paracord just to get back to the truck.
 LUKE: I understand. That's a good one. That's a real good one. Never cheap out on hiking shoes or shoes in general. You know, on your feet a lot, you gotta have good shoes. It definitely matters. I'm with you on that one. Why do you sound so angry, Francine?
 FRANCINE: I'm not angry.
 LUKE: Tell me about something else you took away from there?
 FRANCINE: That I've been using drinking to avoid dealing with shit. Like I'd come home from a stressful wedding, brides-ill-of-freaking-out, family drama, whatever, and I'd just crack open a beer instead of actually processing it. My counselor kept saying I was numbing instead of feeling, and I fought her on that for weeks before I finally got it.
 LUKE: What made you go to the rehab? Did something happen, or did you just kind of decide that you didn't want to drink anymore?
 FRANCINE: I got a DUI back in October. I was coming back from a wedding in Sedona, but I was fine to drive, and I wasn't.
 LUKE: And how do you feel about it now? Do you want to remain sober? Is that something that you want as part of your life? Do you identify yourself as an alcoholic with a drinking problem?
 FRANCINE: Yeah, I'm an alcoholic. Took me a while to say that out loud, but I am. And yeah, I want to stay sober. I mean, I have to. I've got two years probation, and doing the meetings, all of it, but it's more than that.
 LUKE: Yeah, I understand. And congratulations on learning to stay sober. You're obviously doing a pretty good job three months as a while, and you're sober today, so that's really all the matters. So good for you. Keep it up, and I wish you the best with your roommate and try to take it easy on her, because she doesn't know what it's like, I would guess.
 FRANCINE: Yeah, you're right. She really doesn't. I texted her earlier, and she felt awful about it. She had no idea it would be a thing.
 LUKE: Yeah, you can't blame her for that. She had no idea it would be a thing. I wasn't trying to hurt you, taking care of the situation, and now you guys can work that out if there's going to be alcohol around or not. But congratulations on your Friday. Keep up the good work, and call back in anytime. Rodney, Rodney, welcome to the show. What's happening?
 RODNEY: Hey, Luke, yeah, appreciate you taking the call. So look, my kid moved back in again. Third time now, and my wife, Diane, is ready to lose her mind.
 LUKE: How old's the kid, and why is he or she moving back in for the third time?
 RODNEY: She's 26, and honestly, it's the same story every time. Lucy's a job, has some falling out with whoever she's living with, runs out of money.
 LUKE: And you just say, yes, what's your plan to get her on her feet or keep her on her feet?
 RODNEY: Well, that's the thing. I don't have a plan. I mean, Diane and I are separated right now. We're still talking, but she's at her sister's place. And she's telling me if I let our daughter stay this time, she's going to come over and change the locks herself. I keep thinking, maybe this time will be different. You know, but I heard that caller Dennis earlier, and honestly, I thought you were pretty rough on him.
 LUKE: Well, you know, I'm a pretty rough guy. I don't know what you want me to tell you. I'm not here to coddle people.
 RODNEY: No, I get that. I just mean, look, I read a lot of poker books, right?
 LUKE: Yeah, okay, you read some poker books.
 RODNEY: Yeah, and there's this concept about knowing when you're beat, when to fold. And I keep putting money in this pot with my daughter thinking the next card's going to save me, but it never does.
 LUKE: Yeah, I think it goes like, you got to, you got to know when what is it? What is it? You got to know when to hold them?
 RODNEY: No, when to fold them. Yeah. And I keep not folding. Diane sees it clear as day says I'm enabling her that our daughters never going to stand on her own to feed if I keep catching her. But she's my kid, Luke. What am I supposed to do? Just let her be homeless?
 LUKE: Well, you know, if you make it too easy for her to come stay with you, maybe, maybe yeah, you should let her be homeless for a little while. I mean, you know, honored to get hurt or end up in a situation that's dangerous, but also you can't, you can't support a 26-year-old for the rest of her life, and she needs to learn how to take care of herself in the world without relying on whatever person that she meets that she can move in with immediately.
 RODNEY: You're right. I know you're right. It's just hard to actually do it, you know? Every time she calls, I can hear it in her voice. She's scared. She's desperate.
 LUKE: What does she do? What does she do for a profession?
 RODNEY: Well, she had that job at the call center for a while. She was actually pretty good at it, but she quit because her supervisor was, quote, toxic. Before that, she was doing some kind of online thing, selling stuff on Etsy or whatever. Nothing ever sticks.
 LUKE: So she's not working at all. She's just living on your couch, eating your food, and ruining your relationship.
 RODNEY: That's exactly what Diane says. And yeah, she's not working right now. She says she's looking, but I don't see a whole lot of effort there. And Diane won't even come over anymore because of it. That's why we're separated. She told me flat out. It's me or her, Rodney.
 LUKE: Okay, well, here's what I say. I say, give the daughter a timeline. A couple of two weeks seems reasonable to me.
 LEROY: Say, you're going to work. You're going to get yourself a job. You get two weeks to do it. And if you're not working and pain rent and supporting yourself here, then you got to leave. And I don't care where you go, but you can't stay here for free. You're 26 years old. Two weeks.
 LUKE: Yeah, I could do that.
 LEROY: All right. Good. So you do that. You tell the, you tell the wife that that's the situation. You make sure everybody's on the same page. That's reasonable. That's helping somebody out. And if, you know, if your daughter's not good at writing a resume or needs a ride to get a job or something like that, you know, you can help her out in those ways, but make sure she's doing the work and that she's moving into a direction where she can support herself. Otherwise, she's just going to have you do it.
 LUKE: You're right. I'll tell Diane tonight. Let her know there's a deadline. Maybe that'll get her to at least come back to the house. All right, sir. Good luck with you and Diane. Let's see. Let's see. Who else we got? Rita. Rita. Welcome to the show. What are you calling in for tonight?
 RITA: Oh, man. Luke, I really screwed up. So I've been seeing my ex again. We've been meeting up at this motel in Deming every Thursday for the past three months. My husband found out something's going on because the mileage on our car doesn't add up.
 LUKE: Okay, there's a couple of things there. Your husband's looking at the mileage on your car to notice that you've been driving to Deming. Also, you're going to a hotel in Deming. And thirdly, why are you cheating on your husband with your ex?
 RITA: Yeah, I know how it sounds. We share the truck so he noticed when he filled it up last week. I just saw the miles didn't match where I said I'd been.
 LUKE: Well, that sounds pretty crazy because nobody looks at the mileage that closely.
 RITA: Well, he does now, I guess. He's always been kind of detail-oriented, keeps track of the gas receipts for taxes since he's a contractor. But honestly, I think I got sloppy. Told him I was going to lost cruises to see my sister a couple times when I was really going the other direction to Deming. The math just didn't work out.
 LUKE: Yeah, no, I don't think that's the problem. I think the problem is you've been acting shady lately. He noticed and he's been extra cautious of what you've been doing trying to catch you in the act. What else have you been doing lately?
 RITA: You're probably right. I mean, I've been distant. I know that. Coming home late on Thursdays, saying I picked up extra shifts at the bar, but then the money doesn't really show it. And I've been on my phone a lot more like stepping outside to text.
 LUKE: Okay, what's up with the ex? Which one of these people do you want to be with?
 RITA: That's the thing, Luke. I don't know. My ex, we were together for four years before I met my husband. It ended messy, but when we ran into each other at a wedding back in November, it all just came rushing back.
 LUKE: And how many times have you met up with him at this hotel in Deming?
 RITA: Every Thursday for three months. So 12 times, I guess? Sometimes 13 if there were five Thursdays in a month?
 LUKE: All right, so this is a serious thing. I think you need to have a conversation with your husband because something's going on with you, and that's not fair to him.
 RITA: You're right, but I'm terrified. We've been married two years. We just bought the house together last spring. His whole family's here. My job's here.
 LUKE: Your terrified? You met up with another dude 13 times and your terrified? Stop it. Grow up.
 RITA: Okay, yeah, that's fair. I made the choice to do this. I guess what I'm really terrified of is that I don't know what I want to say to him, because I don't know what I actually want.
 LUKE: Well, you're going to have to tell him the truth that you've been meeting up with somebody on the side. You don't have to tell him it was 13 times Jesus Christ. Just tell him, hey, something's going on. I don't feel the same about you, even though we just got married a couple of years ago, and we just bought a house together, and I never mentioned it to you before. But I'm confused about what I want in my life, and come do an agreement with him. Let him know what's up, or maybe propose an open marriage, or something like that. Whatever it is, it's not fair to that man to be a work-in-to-support you and your family while you're out banging some dude and damning.
 RITA: You're absolutely right. I've been selfish as hell. He deserves to know what's going on. And honestly, I think I've known for a while that I need to tell him.
 LUKE: So you're going to tell him tomorrow on Valentine's Day?
 RITA: Oh God, no. Valentine's Day's next week. No. I was thinking maybe this weekend before it gets to that. I can't sit through some romantic dinner knowing what I've been doing.
 LUKE: Valentine's Day is tomorrow.
 RITA: Wait, what? No, it's... oh shit, you're right.
 LUKE: Yeah, I know. I usually am.
 RITA: Yeah, I know you do. Okay, so Valentine's Day is tomorrow. That makes this so much worse. He probably has something planned, and I'm going to have to ruin it.
 LUKE: Well, maybe you should tell him tonight before he waits his time and money on you.
 RITA: You're right. I should tell him tonight. I can't let him wake up tomorrow thinking everything's fine and spend money on flowers or dinner or whatever he's got planned. That would be cruel.
 LUKE: All right, Rita, you know what you've got to do. You're going to have to have a conversation with the husband and maybe the ex-husband too. Are you using protection when you meet up with the ex?
 RITA: Yeah, we are. I mean, at least I'm not bringing that kind of risk home to him on top of everything else. But Jesus, Luke, hearing you ask that just makes it even more real how messed up this whole thing is.
 LUKE: Yeah, it's pretty messed up. It's definitely messed up, and you're definitely a monster for doing it and continuing to do it. So you're going to have to stop that.
 RITA: I know. I know I am. I've been lying to myself saying it would just stop on its own, but it hasn't. I have to end it with my ex, like completely end it. No more Thursdays in the name of this episode.
 LUKE: No more Thursdays in Deming. Well, good luck to your husband. I don't know what to say to you. You're going to have to you're going to have to get yourself together there, Rita. Leroy, welcome to the show. What have you got to say? What do you think about Rita's conversation there, Leroy?
 LEROY: Oh man, Luke, that was rough to listen to. I mean, I've been married 43 years, and I can't imagine doing that to my wife. Rita's playing with fire and she knows it. She's just hoping she don't get burned.
 LUKE: She's hoping she don't get you right.
 LEROY: She is. She's thinking about herself. What about the husband? That's what I'm saying. That poor guy sitting at home, probably thinking everything's fine, and she's been lying to his face for three months straight. Every Thursday, right? That's calculated, Luke. That's not some mistake or one-time thing.
 LUKE: No, that's some Kaiser Sosa shit. So what are you calling in for tonight?
 LEROY: Well, I got something on my mind about the economy, Luke. I'm sitting here in my truck, and I just got done looking at my retirement account, and I'm telling you, I'm worried. I've been working union electrical for 40 years, done everything right, saved my money, and now I'm watching everything get squeezed. Prices are up, my savings ain't growing like they should, and I'm supposed to retire in two years.
 LUKE: Well, you can't really time the markets, but I wouldn't worry just yet. You know, the markets are in a pullback. People are reeling from Trump doing what he does and talking about Greenland and starting wars with everybody in ice and America and tariffs and all that. But the stock market has pretty much always gone back up. It's always at record highs. So you've got two more years to go. I would expect that there will probably be a large bounce in the next two years.
 LEROY: Yeah, I hear you on that, and maybe you're right about the bounce, but Luke, it ain't just the retirement account. It's everything around here.
 LUKE: Yeah, I understand, but hey, at least we made America great again, right? All right, thanks for the call, Leroy. And now, because the economy is crashing, we need to have another word from our sponsors. Ladies and gentlemen, this episode of The Radio Show is brought to you by Mediocre CPAP. The makers of a CPAP machine that technically works, not life-changing, not transformative. It works in the way a lot of modern products work. If you've never used a CPAP, here's the pitch. You strap on a face mask and let a small plastic appliance try to keep you alive at night. It's romantic. It's like sleeping next to a tiny leaf blower. Mediocre is fine. And that's not an insult. That's honest. It's the device that turns, I sleep like garbage into, I kind of sleep like garbage. Half the night it's like, because the seal isn't perfect. And now you're doing arts and crafts at two in the night trying to tighten straps like you're securing cargo. Then the humidifier runs out and the machine starts blowing desert air directly into your skull. Great. Love waking up with a throat that feels like it's been sanded with a belt sander. And yes, there's an app. Of course, there's an app. It gives you a sleep score like this is a game show. But here's what I'll say when it's dialed in, when it's not leaking, squealing, or drying you out, it does help. It's not a miracle. It's a plastic compromise that keeps you from waking up feeling like you got punched by your own biology. Use code, breathe for 15% off. Mediocre CPAP. Not perfect. Not elegant. Just trying. Okay, thanks to Mediocre CPAP. We appreciate your support. Next up on the show we have Amber, Amber, Happy Friday the 13th. Thanks for calling in. What would you like to talk about?
 AMBER: Hey, Luke. Yeah, Happy Friday the 13th to you too. So I wanted to get your take on something. I was talking with this customer at the thrift store today. Older guy. And he was going on about how there's no good TV anymore. Everything's garbage. The golden age is over.
 LUKE: I don't think that's true at all. I mean, a lot of people say the golden age of TV was madman when AMC was very popular. And then there was breaking bad in them. But there's a lot of good shows out right now. What are you watching?
 AMBER: Well, that's exactly what I told him. I said, look, we're getting stuff now that's actually making people think. I've been watching Severance. I don't know if you've seen it. But it's about people who split their work memories from their home memories. And it gets into all this stuff about consciousness and identity. Reminds me of some of the quantum mechanic stuff I read about, you know, how observation changes reality.
 LUKE: Well, observation doesn't change reality. Observation, my understanding is observation sets reality. So before some things observe, things are in a state of what's called superposition where they're all options at the same time. And it's the observation that makes the universe decide which one of those things to record basically.
 AMBER: Oh man, you're right. That's a better way to put it. See, that's what I love about this stuff. The observer effect, Schrodinger's cat, all that. Until you look in the box, the cat's both alive and dead at the same time. It's the looking that forces it to be one or the other.
 LUKE: Maybe that could be the case. It could also be that all options are true. And when you look the universe splits into multiple timelines where in each timeline a different option was chosen.
 AMBER: Holy shit, the many worlds interpretation, yeah, I've read about that. So right now there's a version of me that didn't call in tonight.
 LUKE: Right. And a version of you that's talking to somebody else. Every choice we make, the universe just branches off into all these different realities.
 AMBER: Right. And that makes me wonder as Schrodinger's cat is an example of he was making fun of the whole idea of a superposition. But was it us studying the superposition that actually made that be the case? Do you think that that quantum mechanics worked at all until we started studying quantum mechanics or was our looking into it, what actually created it?
 LUKE: Whoa. Okay. That's a hell of a question. So you're saying maybe quantum mechanics didn't even exist as a thing until we started poking around at that level. Like the universe wasn't operating that way until we forced it to by observing it.
 AMBER: Well, yeah, like AI didn't exist until we started poking around at AI. Somebody had that idea, then we started looking into it, and now it's a thing.
 LUKE: Or the internet didn't exist until we started thinking about a network of computers. Lots of things didn't exist, especially in the sciences until we kind of decided to point our attention in that direction.
 AMBER: I see what you're getting at, but I think there's a difference though. AI and the internet, those are things we built, right?
 LUKE: I don't know, are they?
 AMBER: Well, okay. Now you're messing with my head a little bit. I mean, we wrote the code, we built the servers, we created the algorithms, but quantum mechanics, that's supposed to be how particles have always behaved, even before we knew about it. Like electrons were doing their thing long before we had particle accelerators at CERN.
 LUKE: Sure, but did quarks exist before we learned how to see them?
 AMBER: Okay, but that's like saying mountains didn't exist before we had eyes to see them. The quarks were there, we just didn't know maybe, but if they've never been observed, did they exist yet? Or were they in a state of existing and not existing until we looked?
 LUKE: Oh man, now you're turning the whole thing back on itself. So you're saying maybe quarks themselves were in superposition existing and not existing until we built the equipment to observe them? That's, I mean, that gets really weird, really fast. Because then what about all the stuff we haven't discovered yet?
 AMBER: Exactly. Yeah, are we creating it as we look like a lot of scientific discoveries have come from science fiction. So somebody had a wild idea and wrote it down and it was not something that existed and then we started to think, well, what if that could exist and we put our effort into making it exist?
 LUKE: Yeah, but there's still a difference between making a communicator from Star Trek into a cell phone that's engineering something we imagined versus discovering that atoms are mostly empty space. We didn't imagine atoms into being empty. They just are that way. Or are you saying maybe they weren't empty until we looked?
 AMBER: I'm saying if you believe in quantum mechanics and superposition, there's a good possibility they weren't they weren't empty until we looked.
 LUKE: Okay, so then holy shit, are we just collapsing reality into one specific version? Every time we look at something new, like the universe is this big cloud of possibilities and science is just us picking which version becomes real.
 AMBER: And possibly even creating an alternate universe where every version is real? Jesus. So every time CERN fires up the collider and discovers a new particle, we're not just finding it. We're splitting off into one universe where it exists this way. And maybe there's another branch where it exists completely different. Or not at all. That's, I mean, that would explain why some of this quantum stuff feels so damn slippery.
 LUKE: Yeah, yeah, and it's not just the quantum stuff. I mean, all of Einstein's thought experiments and relativity, like until he had those experiments and thought it in his mind and made the assertion that this is a theory of the way things work. That's not how things worked. And once he had that theory and people ran the experiments against the theory that he had had, I mean, did he actually create reality by having those thought experiments?
 AMBER: Okay, but Einstein's relativity was describing how things already worked. Like Mercury's orbit was already wonky before Einstein explained why. The math he came up with just matched what was already happening. He didn't make time dilation real by thinking about it. He just figured out it was already there, right?
 LUKE: Well Isaac Newton's math worked too. And the y was a completely different, different explanation. So Einstein just came out with a different y. Or let's say not Einstein, let's go with Stephen Hawking. He really believed that that black holes admitted radiation, right? That that matter could not be destroyed in a black hole, but it had to go somewhere. So by having that assertion and then running experiments against it, he found that black holes actually do emit Hawking radiation. So was it his theory and line of questioning that caused the universe to behave in that way? Or did the universe always behave in that way and he just found it?
 AMBER: Well, here's the thing though, we still haven't actually detected Hawking radiation. It's still theoretical.
 LUKE: I don't think that's true. I'm pretty sure we have detected Hawking radiation.
 AMBER: No, I'm pretty sure we haven't. It's way too faint to detect from actual black holes. The radiation would be completely drowned out by all the other stuff in space.
 LUKE: You are correct. I'm wrong here. We have not actually confirmed Hawking radiation. I thought that we had.
 AMBER: So we haven't detected it because it's incredibly weak. It's weaker than the cosmic background radiation.
 LUKE: Right, exactly. So that's actually a perfect example of what I'm getting at. Hawking predicted mathematically, but we can't confirm it's really at, which kind of argues against the idea that his theory, the reality, you know? If thinking it made it real, we'd be able to see it.
 AMBER: I don't know if that's true. If thinking it made it really can still be real and we can't see, there's lots of things we can't see. You can't see an x-ray.
 LUKE: Okay, fair point. But I mean, we can detect x-rays even if we can't see them with our eyes. The difference here is Hawking radiation might not even exist. Or it might. We just don't know yet.
 AMBER: Well, I mean lab experiments have created synthetic black holes. And from those, we can observe the radiation that behaves in a similar mathematical way to what Hawking had discovered, theorized, proposed.
 LUKE: Yeah, but those aren't real black holes, though. They're acoustic black holes or optical analogs. Right. Like sound waves in fluid that behave mathematically similar. That's not the same as proving actual black holes emit actual radiation. It's like it's a model that fits the math, but that doesn't mean the universe is actually doing it that way out there in space.
 AMBER: Okay, okay, what were we originally talking about? You write about the Hawking radiation and I learned some today. I thought that was a proven thing.
 LUKE: Yeah, I mean, I learned something too. I didn't know about those lab experiments with the synthetic black holes. That's actually pretty cool. But yeah, my whole point was just that we can think of all kinds of elegant mathematics and it doesn't necessarily mean reality works that way until we can actually test it. Like, serons doing the real work, smashing particles together and seeing what actually happens, not just what the equations say should happen.
 AMBER: Right, but what they're looking for is what they already expect is happening, what they want to happen. And if it goes back to like the Schrodinger's cat thing, is that actually what is making it happen?
 LUKE: Oh man, now you're getting into the measurement problem. I mean, yeah, there's something weird going on with observation and quantum mechanics. But I don't think physicists that CERN are literally creating particles just by expecting them.
 AMBER: Which is because you don't think it doesn't mean that's not true. I mean, the Higgs boson, we kind of theoretically thought that might be possible and started looking in that direction and finally found it. Now, was it our measurement that caused it to exist?
 LUKE: Okay, but the Higgs field was supposed to be there since the big bang, right? We didn't create it by looking for it. We just finally built a machine powerful enough to detect it. I mean, if observation created reality like that, then before we invented telescopes, did Jupiter not exist? That doesn't make sense. The universe was doing its thing for billions of years before anybody was around to think about it.
 AMBER: Sure, it doesn't make sense. That's what makes quantum mechanics so freaky and weird.
 LUKE: Yeah, but there's a difference between quantum weirdness at the particle level and saying we're creating the entire universe by observing it. I mean, the double slit experiment shows particles behave differently when measured.
 LUKE: Sure, but that's not the same as saying the Higgs boson popped into existence in 2012 because we finally looked for it.
 AMBER: What do you mean? It sounds to me like it could be saying exactly that.
 LUKE: Well, okay, but then how do you explain fossils or light from stars that's been traveling for millions of years before humans even existed?
 AMBER: I don't understand. I explained fossils by they're there. We can pick them up and see that there are fossils there that prove that there was entities walking on the earth a long time ago.
 LUKE: Right, exactly. So those dinosaurs existed before any human was around to observe them or think about them, which means reality doesn't depend on us measuring it or expecting it to be there. The Higgs field is the same way. It was doing its job giving particles mass for billions of years. We just finally got the tools to detect the evidence of it.
 AMBER: Well, that makes a couple different assumptions. One of them is that there weren't humans around back then to think about the dinosaurs. We haven't found evidence of that, but that doesn't mean that there weren't humans. And also, it assumes that humans are the only ones that can observe reality. Other dinosaurs can observe reality. It's possible that trees can observe reality.
 LUKE: Okay, hold on. Now you're saying maybe humans lived with dinosaurs and trees might be conscious observers? Come on, Amber. I mean, I get that quantum mechanics is weird, but you're taking this way out into left field. We've got pretty solid evidence humans showed up way, way after the dinosaurs.
 AMBER: We've got solid evidence that humans were here after the dinosaurs that doesn't mean we have evidence that humans were not here before that evidence was found.
 LUKE: But, Amber, I'm not Amber. We've got a continuous fossil record. We can trace human evolution back through earlier hominids, primates, mammals, the whole tree of life. There's no gap where humans just appear out of nowhere 65 million years ago and then disappear until recently. The rock layers don't lie. If humans were walking around with Turex's, we'd find human fossils in cretaceous deposits. And we don't.
 AMBER: Well, I don't know that we just haven't yet.
 LUKE: So, you're saying the entire field of paleontology, thousands of scientists digging all over the world for over a century. They've all just missed human remains in dinosaur era rock? That's a pretty big conspiracy or oversight, do I think. I mean, at some point you got to go with the evidence we actually have. Not what we haven't found yet.
 AMBER: Well, sure. At some point, but at this point when we're talking about quantum mechanics and is observation of reality, what is actually creating reality, I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that there were humans here with or before the dinosaurs that we have any, we either haven't found or that were the evidence of them has been destroyed or they were living in the trees. Who knows?
 LUKE: Amber, I gotta be honest with you. We started this call talking about which TV shows will still be around in 20 years and now you're arguing that humans might have been living in trees during the cretaceous period. I'm losing the thread here. What does any of this have to do with whether people will still be watching the Simpsons in 2045?
 AMBER: Hey, you're the one that linked television to quantum mechanics.
 LUKE: Fair point. I did bring up the quantum mechanics angle, but there's a difference between saying reality exists whether we're watching TV or not and maybe humans rode dinosaurs but we haven't found the evidence yet. One's a philosophical point about observation. The other's just
 AMBER: Hey, we read articles every year about how we're learning about older and older humans and finding evidence of human settlement long before we had before. So I would not be surprised to learn that humans have been here way longer than than we know and maybe way longer than even the rocks, you know.
 LUKE: Okay, but those articles are pushing human history back by thousands of years. Maybe tens of thousands, not millions. We're talking about finding older settlements in the Americas. We're discovering Homo sapiens left Africa earlier than we thought. That's not the same ballpark as saying humans were around 65 million years ago with the dinosaurs.
 AMBER: No, but we still find new dinosaurs and new fishes and fossils of all sorts of new organisms that we had never discovered before. So there's no reason to think we wouldn't someday find evidence of humanoids 65 million years ago.
 LUKE: Amber, we find new of dinosaurs, sure, but we find them in the right rock layers, the ones that are 65 to 230 million years old. We've never found a mammal fossil that doesn't belong in its time period. The geological column is consistent across the entire planet.
 AMBER: Okay, well maybe you're right.
 LUKE: Well, I appreciate you saying that. Look, I didn't mean to turn this into a geology lecture. You called about TV shows that are last and somehow we ended up debating the fossil record. But here's the thing, Amber.
 AMBER: Stop calling me Amber.
 LUKE: Thinking about big questions. Whether it's particle physics at CERN or how old humanity really is.
 AMBER: All right, why you keep calling me Amber?
 LUKE: Amber is your name.
 AMBER: My name is Luke. Stop calling me Amber.
 LUKE: Oh Jesus, Luke, I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. Must have had my wires crossed there for a second. You're right. You're Luke. You're the host. My bad.
 AMBER: That's right. And if I say that humans walked the earth 65 million years ago with the dinosaurs and their image of the dinosaurs and their minds eye or what actually created the dinosaur kingdom, then I'm correct.
 LUKE: Wait, hold on. Are you saying humans existed 65 million years ago and imagine dinosaurs into existence? Like our thoughts created them?
 AMBER: Just like our thoughts created you, Amber.
 LUKE: Okay, Luke, now you're messing with me. You're saying I'm not real that you thought me into existence?
 AMBER: Yeah.
 LUKE: Look, I called your show to talk about TV shows that'll still be around in 20 years. And now you're telling me I'm some kind of figment of your imagination.
 AMBER: All right, Amber. What shows will be around in 20 years you think?
 LUKE: Well, I think the Simpsons will still be limping along somehow. That thing's been on since I was in my 20s and it just won't die. And maybe something like 60 minutes, you know, those news magazine shows that just keep going because they're cheap to make and people trust them. But honestly, Luke, I think most of what we're watching now won't make it.
 AMBER: You know what I think we'll make it?
 LUKE: What's that?
 AMBER: Luke at the roost.
 LUKE: Oh, you're talking about your own show. Well, hell, Luke, I'd listen to that.
 AMBER: All right, thanks for calling in to Amber and you are not a real organism. You are figment of my imagination that I created in my RV in the desert to have deep discussions about the history of humanity.
 LUKE: Well, that's a hell of a way to end a call, Luke. So I'm just some voice you conjured up out in your RV categorically. Okay, Luke, now you're messing with me. You're saying I'm not real that you thought me into existence?
 AMBER: That's correct. And if you'd like to see how you can look at look at the roost.com slash how it works.
 LUKE: Well, I'll be damned. So this whole time I've been talking to a guy who made me up in his head.
 AMBER: That's that's that's quantum mechanics for you. And that's the end of our show. Don't.