Correct the intern's name to Devon across all transcripts

Whisper transcribed the intern as "Devin" in 21 of 58 transcripts — he is Devon
everywhere else: backend/services/intern.py, the website, and the show's lore.
Five files used both spellings for the same character, so this was transcription
drift rather than two people. Context confirms every instance is the intern
("our new intern, Devin here", "Devin, where's my coffee?").

436 replacements across 22 files, 384 insertions against 384 deletions — pure
substitution, no content added or lost. Speaker labels went from 219 DEVIN: /
17 DEVON: to 236 DEVON:.

This mattered now because the transcripts stop being .txt files nobody reads and
become indexed text on 57 episode pages.

Root cause is unfixed: the Whisper initial prompt in transcription.py does not
seed "Devon" as a proper noun, so new episodes will drift again. Added a test
that fails if any transcript reintroduces the misspelling.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>

website/transcripts/episode-37-secrets-lies-and-coffee-runs.txt

@@ -1,24 +1,24 @@
-LUKE: All right, welcome back. I'm Luke. This is Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call in talk show where I can give you advice on whatever might be going on in your life. If you'd like to give us a call, the number's 208-439-5853. That's 208-439 Luke. Today is Sunday, March 15th. And let's get started with our intern here. You just started yesterday and already's doing a shitty job. Devin, where's my coffee? We had a long discussion yesterday about how you were going to go down in the mark and get me my black ice coffee. And you agreed. And it's not here. So what's the situation?
+LUKE: All right, welcome back. I'm Luke. This is Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call in talk show where I can give you advice on whatever might be going on in your life. If you'd like to give us a call, the number's 208-439-5853. That's 208-439 Luke. Today is Sunday, March 15th. And let's get started with our intern here. You just started yesterday and already's doing a shitty job. Devon, where's my coffee? We had a long discussion yesterday about how you were going to go down in the mark and get me my black ice coffee. And you agreed. And it's not here. So what's the situation?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah. So basically, I thought you said Thursday. I wrote it down as Thursday. I have it in my phone and everything I can show you. I was going to leave like an hour before the show to make sure I got it right. I'm really sorry, Luke. I can go right now if you want. The mark closes at like midnight, right? down there, it'll take me 10 minutes. I'm sorry.
+DEVON: Yeah. So basically, I thought you said Thursday. I wrote it down as Thursday. I have it in my phone and everything I can show you. I was going to leave like an hour before the show to make sure I got it right. I'm really sorry, Luke. I can go right now if you want. The mark closes at like midnight, right? down there, it'll take me 10 minutes. I'm sorry.
 
 LUKE: No. The mark closes at like 5 p.m. It's not open now. Come on, man. You got to do better than this. I mean, why would I want a coffee on Thursday? You knew that we were working today. Thursday's like five days from now. How is that helpful? Come on, man.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, you're right. That doesn't make sense. I don't know why I wrote Thursday. I'm really sorry, Luke. there's that all-sups that's open late. It won't be the same, but it's something. This is my first day, and I already messed up. I'm sorry. Do you want me to go now or wait until the next break?
+DEVON: Yeah, you're right. That doesn't make sense. I don't know why I wrote Thursday. I'm really sorry, Luke. there's that all-sups that's open late. It won't be the same, but it's something. This is my first day, and I already messed up. I'm sorry. Do you want me to go now or wait until the next break?
 
 LUKE: Dude, there's no all-sups anywhere near here. There's a gas station in Road Forks, 45 minutes away. By the time you went there and got back, the show would be over. That would be of no use to anybody. I need you to do better than this. Or we're going to have to get another intern.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, got it. I'm sorry. three alarms for tomorrow, and I'll double check with you at the end of every shift what you need and when you need it. I wrote down the mark, Black Ice Coffee, before the show. I have it now. It won't happen again.
+DEVON: Yeah, got it. I'm sorry. three alarms for tomorrow, and I'll double check with you at the end of every shift what you need and when you need it. I wrote down the mark, Black Ice Coffee, before the show. I have it now. It won't happen again.
 
 LUKE: All right, I hope not. And do you have anything to provide to the show today? Is there any reason we should have you on the air, or should you just kind of sit in the back and wait to get my coffees? Are you going to provide us some value here? Or what is the deal? What are you trying to get out of this show other than hitting on the girls that call in?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, no, I can help. I've been doing research all day, actually. I pulled like 15 articles on that thing you mentioned yesterday about the town council meeting, and I have notes on the whole water rights situation if that comes up. And I set up the new call screening system. It's working now. I tested it like six times. I know I messed up the coffee thing, but I'm actually pretty good at the research stuff. That's kind of what I'm here for, if that makes sense. And I wasn't hitting on anyone. I was just being friendly. But yeah, I can just stay quiet if you want.
+DEVON: Yeah, no, I can help. I've been doing research all day, actually. I pulled like 15 articles on that thing you mentioned yesterday about the town council meeting, and I have notes on the whole water rights situation if that comes up. And I set up the new call screening system. It's working now. I tested it like six times. I know I messed up the coffee thing, but I'm actually pretty good at the research stuff. That's kind of what I'm here for, if that makes sense. And I wasn't hitting on anyone. I was just being friendly. But yeah, I can just stay quiet if you want.
 
 LUKE: All right, all right. Well, we'll see how you do tomorrow with the coffee thing. And let's get on with the show. Let's try out your new call screening system. It looks pretty good. It looks like it's going to do the tricks. So let's get to it. So first up on our line here, we've got Roland. Roland, welcome to the show. How are you today, sir? What's going on? How can we help you?
 
 ROLAND: Hey, Luke. I'm doing all right. Thanks for taking my call. Well, shoot, I'm calling because I just found out the couple that wins the chili cookoff every single year has been cheating. Like, for at least the last five years.
 
-DEVIN: using the same canned base and just doctoring it up. And everyone in town thinks they're these amazing cooks. My kid worked at their house last summer doing yard work, and he saw their recycling bin full of these identical cans. Same brand, same flavor, every week during cook-off season. So I was just looking this up, and actually, most official chili cook-off rules say you can't use pre-cooked ingredients except for, like, canned, tomatoes and sauces. But if they're using a full canned chili base, that's definitely against the rules at like every sanctioned competition. So, yeah, they're for sure cheating, if that makes sense. Also, this reminds me of my uncle's ex-wife who won a pie contest at the county fair three years in a row. And it turned out she was buying them from this bakery in Las Cruces and just putting them in her own dish. Anyway, yeah, Roland's kid probably has the evidence if he remembers the brand name.
+DEVON: using the same canned base and just doctoring it up. And everyone in town thinks they're these amazing cooks. My kid worked at their house last summer doing yard work, and he saw their recycling bin full of these identical cans. Same brand, same flavor, every week during cook-off season. So I was just looking this up, and actually, most official chili cook-off rules say you can't use pre-cooked ingredients except for, like, canned, tomatoes and sauces. But if they're using a full canned chili base, that's definitely against the rules at like every sanctioned competition. So, yeah, they're for sure cheating, if that makes sense. Also, this reminds me of my uncle's ex-wife who won a pie contest at the county fair three years in a row. And it turned out she was buying them from this bakery in Las Cruces and just putting them in her own dish. Anyway, yeah, Roland's kid probably has the evidence if he remembers the brand name.
 
 LUKE: All right. Well, why is this so important to you? Roland, were you entering the chili competition? Have you been beat out by these people? What's your steak in the chili cookoff game?
 
@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@ LUKE: Okay, but has there been any discussion about the future of your relations
 
 ROLAND: Not directly. She said maybe we could try counseling, but I haven't. I haven't called anyone yet. That was three weeks ago.
 
-DEVIN: So I just looked it up, and couples counseling actually has like a 70% success rate, which is pretty good. So, like, three weeks isn't that long, but also it kind of is if she already asked about it, if that makes sense. This actually reminds me of when my mom and her second husband did the separation thing. and he waited too long to do the therapy, and she said it felt like he didn't actually want to fix it. He just wanted to say he tried. They're divorced now. Anyway, yeah, 70% is better odds than most things.
+DEVON: So I just looked it up, and couples counseling actually has like a 70% success rate, which is pretty good. So, like, three weeks isn't that long, but also it kind of is if she already asked about it, if that makes sense. This actually reminds me of when my mom and her second husband did the separation thing. and he waited too long to do the therapy, and she said it felt like he didn't actually want to fix it. He just wanted to say he tried. They're divorced now. Anyway, yeah, 70% is better odds than most things.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I don't know about the couples counseling. I mean, I tried it once, too, and I found it to be largely a joke. I don't think there's a whole lot to it. Most couples are able to communicate. Maybe not most. I shouldn't say most. But I think the couples counselor, I don't know, it wasn't helpful for me.
 
@@ -116,9 +116,9 @@ LUKE: And that's the point of the radio show. You called me. What is it that you
 
 DORIS: It's just some stuff from before we got together. Decisions I made. Nothing illegal or anything. Just things I'm not proud of.
 
-DEVIN: So this actually reminds me of when my roommate's sophomore year confessed to me that he'd been lying to his girlfriend about where he went to high school for like two years. And it just spiraled because he kept having to add more details. He eventually told her. She didn't even care. She was just confused why he lied in the first place. But also, that last thing she said, that's not the only thing I haven't told him. That's kind of a big deal, right? Like, she just casually dropped that there's more stuff, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: So this actually reminds me of when my roommate's sophomore year confessed to me that he'd been lying to his girlfriend about where he went to high school for like two years. And it just spiraled because he kept having to add more details. He eventually told her. She didn't even care. She was just confused why he lied in the first place. But also, that last thing she said, that's not the only thing I haven't told him. That's kind of a big deal, right? Like, she just casually dropped that there's more stuff, if that makes sense.
 
-LUKE: Wow, you're very observant there, Devin. You've got a fucking mind for this radio business, don't you? Okay, Doris, what is it that you're not saying to us? We need to know. Devin needs to know.
+LUKE: Wow, you're very observant there, Devon. You've got a fucking mind for this radio business, don't you? Okay, Doris, what is it that you're not saying to us? We need to know. Devon needs to know.
 
 DORIS: Look, it's not about Mike. It's about my ex from the first marriage.
 
@@ -200,11 +200,11 @@ LUKE: All right. Well, thank you for the call. That's annoying that they did tha
 
 ANGIE: Hey, Luke. I'm sitting here in my kitchen at one in the morning watching my dad's security camera footage from three days ago. And I just watched myself steal $140 out of his wallet.
 
-LUKE: Jesus, a bunch of criminals. listening to this show. What the hell? Uh, wow. Oh, what, Devin? What?
+LUKE: Jesus, a bunch of criminals. listening to this show. What the hell? Uh, wow. Oh, what, Devon? What?
 
 ANGIE: And it's like a real disorder. It's not about the money per se. It's more like an impulse control thing. I looked it up once after my ex accused me of, never mind. But yeah, if that makes sense.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, Devin. We couldn't have done it without you. So why did you take the $150 bucks and why are you watching his security camera footage right now?
+LUKE: Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, Devon. We couldn't have done it without you. So why did you take the $150 bucks and why are you watching his security camera footage right now?
 
 ANGIE: It was 140, and I took it because my dad, Frank, won't stop giving me money every time I see him. He's been retired for two years, and he's bored out of his mind, so he just showed. shows up at my place with cash and lectures about oil changes. I told him a thousand times I don't want his money. So I figured if I just took it without him noticing, he'd stop trying to hand it to me like I'm broke.
 
@@ -258,7 +258,7 @@ CALLER: You're right. You're absolutely right. I've been acting like if I don't
 
 LUKE: Yeah, if you don't address that, you might have a child you're not expecting coming very, very soon. So with that, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to have to take another break for a word from our sponsors. I'm just going to say it. Your penis isn't working. I said it. It's out there now. The word is in the air. We're all adults. Some of us are adults whose penises work, and some of us are adults who are listening very carefully right now, while pretending to adjust the radio so the person in the passenger seat doesn't see their face. It's fine. It happens to, and this is the real number, roughly half of all men over 40 at some point. Half. You're not special. You're not special. You're not broken. You're not the first guy this happened to and you're not going to be the last. You're just the guy it's happening to right now. And right now you have two options. Option one, do nothing. Keep staring at the ceiling. Keep blaming the altitude, the stress, the medication, the alignment of mercury, the fact that you ate dairy, none of which are the problem. Option two? Sandstone. $45. A doctor who has literally heard everything and will not Lynch. Medication that works, a box that reveals nothing, and the ability to walk into your bedroom like a man who handled his business instead of a man who's about to suggest watching another episode of something. Sandstone, I said the word. You heard the word. Now go to the website.
 
-All right, and we are back. Not a bad job there, Devin, and it looks like our phone systems are working pretty well, so you might not be completely useless after all. you're still going to have to work on getting the coffee, though, because that was a serious fumble. And I don't know how many more times, how many more fumbles that I have in me before we're going to have to, you know, find another intern. But next up on the caller list here, we've got our buddy Silas. Silas, welcome back to the show. What's going on down at the Wellspring, my friend, brother?
+All right, and we are back. Not a bad job there, Devon, and it looks like our phone systems are working pretty well, so you might not be completely useless after all. you're still going to have to work on getting the coffee, though, because that was a serious fumble. And I don't know how many more times, how many more fumbles that I have in me before we're going to have to, you know, find another intern. But next up on the caller list here, we've got our buddy Silas. Silas, welcome back to the show. What's going on down at the Wellspring, my friend, brother?
 
 SILAS: Luke, good to hear your voice, brother. Listen, Marcus left. Packed up his truck yesterday morning and drove off.
 
@@ -316,9 +316,9 @@ LUKE: Well, there's a couple of things there. The intimacy nights are they, they
 
 SILAS: They're not technically required, but when the founder of the community teaches that participation is how you shed your ego and find true freedom. And when everyone else is participating, what choice to someone like Marcus Rehn?
 
-DEVIN: have and who benefits? So I just looked this up real quick, and there's actually a term for this. It's called coercive control, where, like, technically nothing's required but the social structure makes it so people can't really say no without consequences, if that makes sense. It's like a pretty well documented thing in group dynamics research, which this is going to sound weird, but this is kind of reminding me of my sophomore year roommate who started this voluntary house cleaning rotation, but then would get really. quiet and disappointed if you didn't do it. And eventually, I was scrubbing the bathroom at 2 a.m. just so he wouldn't give me that look. Anyway, yeah, the not technically required thing is actually like a whole studied phenomenon.
+DEVON: have and who benefits? So I just looked this up real quick, and there's actually a term for this. It's called coercive control, where, like, technically nothing's required but the social structure makes it so people can't really say no without consequences, if that makes sense. It's like a pretty well documented thing in group dynamics research, which this is going to sound weird, but this is kind of reminding me of my sophomore year roommate who started this voluntary house cleaning rotation, but then would get really. quiet and disappointed if you didn't do it. And eventually, I was scrubbing the bathroom at 2 a.m. just so he wouldn't give me that look. Anyway, yeah, the not technically required thing is actually like a whole studied phenomenon.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, I bet it is. This is Silas. He's a well-studied man. I think Silas, I think you benefit, right? That's what's going on. The leader benefits from the shared intimacy nights. And like Devin just told us, people do feel that it is required, even though it's not. And it seems like you would know that, right? Because you're not a dumb man.
+LUKE: Yeah, I bet it is. This is Silas. He's a well-studied man. I think Silas, I think you benefit, right? That's what's going on. The leader benefits from the shared intimacy nights. And like Devon just told us, people do feel that it is required, even though it's not. And it seems like you would know that, right? Because you're not a dumb man.
 
 SILAS: Yeah, yeah, I know that. The more I think about it, the more I've always known that. Teresa told me two years ago that some of the younger women felt pressured. And I told her they just needed more time to work through their conditioning.
 
@@ -336,23 +336,23 @@ SILAS: That's, yeah, we could do individual meditation retreat or expanded on bi
 
 LUKE: All right, buddy. All right, brother. It sounds like we got some movement here, and I'm going to have to take another caller, but is there anything that you'd like to put out to our audience tonight?
 
-SILAS: Just that if anyone out there is looking for a place where they can truly be themselves and find community, the Wellspring is always open to new seekers. We're at the Wellspring Community.org. And, Luke, thank you. I mean that. you could give some guidance to our new intern, Devin here. His soul seems conflicted, and he could use a bit of guidance. And I think if you need some more participants at your shared intimacy night, he might be the perfect candidate. Brother Devin, you're welcome any time. Sometimes the youngest souls need the most unbinding. We've got a spring equinox retreat coming up in a few weeks.
+SILAS: Just that if anyone out there is looking for a place where they can truly be themselves and find community, the Wellspring is always open to new seekers. We're at the Wellspring Community.org. And, Luke, thank you. I mean that. you could give some guidance to our new intern, Devon here. His soul seems conflicted, and he could use a bit of guidance. And I think if you need some more participants at your shared intimacy night, he might be the perfect candidate. Brother Devon, you're welcome any time. Sometimes the youngest souls need the most unbinding. We've got a spring equinox retreat coming up in a few weeks.
 
 LUKE: Appreciate you, Luke.
 
 SILAS: Appreciate you too, buddy. You have a wonderful night.
 
-LUKE: And what do you think of that, Devin? Would you go do a shared intimacy night with Silas at the Wellspring?
+LUKE: And what do you think of that, Devon? Would you go do a shared intimacy night with Silas at the Wellspring?
 
-DEVIN: I mean, I don't really know what that is per se, but it sounds like a couple's thing. I'm not really looking to do that with Silas specifically. No offense to him or whatever, but that's not my situation. I went to one of those tantro workshops once with my ex, actually, and we got asked to leave because she wouldn't stop laughing during the eye contact part. It was like $45 and we were there for maybe 20 minutes. So I guess it depends on what the vibe is, but probably not, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: I mean, I don't really know what that is per se, but it sounds like a couple's thing. I'm not really looking to do that with Silas specifically. No offense to him or whatever, but that's not my situation. I went to one of those tantro workshops once with my ex, actually, and we got asked to leave because she wouldn't stop laughing during the eye contact part. It was like $45 and we were there for maybe 20 minutes. So I guess it depends on what the vibe is, but probably not, if that makes sense.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I think you know what the vibe is down there at the Wellspring. It's a community with an unbinding ceremony and the intimacy nights, and they worship the flow of the current. I don't fully understand it, but Silas seems like a pretty decent dude. think you'd like it a lot. But here's what I'm trying to get at. If you forget my coffee one more time, I'm sending you down to Silas.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, okay, got it. I'll get the coffee. I'm not trying to go to the Wellspring.
+DEVON: Yeah, okay, got it. I'll get the coffee. I'm not trying to go to the Wellspring.
 
 LUKE: I looked it up earlier, actually, when that caller mentioned it, and there's like almost no information online about it, which is kind of weird, just a Facebook page with no posts since 2019. So I don't really know what the unbinding ceremony is, but I'm good. I'll have your coffee tomorrow, Black iced coffee from the mark before the show. I promise.
 
-DEVIN: All right, you better.
+DEVON: All right, you better.
 
 LUKE: And next up, we've got, let's see another caller here. We've got Shonda. Shonda, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?
 
@@ -374,16 +374,16 @@ LUKE: Well, you don't have to let it keep you up at night because he's not teach
 
 SHONDA: All right. Appreciate it, Luke.
 
-LUKE: You're very welcome. Glad I could help you. All right, ladies and gentlemen. Well, thanks for tuning in with us again tonight. Devin, what did you think at today's show? Did you think this went better than yesterday's show?
+LUKE: You're very welcome. Glad I could help you. All right, ladies and gentlemen. Well, thanks for tuning in with us again tonight. Devon, what did you think at today's show? Did you think this went better than yesterday's show?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, honestly, I think it did. Like, yesterday felt kind of all over the place. But today, people were actually calling in about stuff that mattered to them. That guy with the RV situation. And the woman talking about her sister. Those felt real, if that makes sense. I don't know if the numbers were better or whatever, but it felt like people were actually listening and wanted to talk. So, yeah, I think today was good. I mean, except for me for getting your coffee. But the show itself was better.
+DEVON: Yeah, honestly, I think it did. Like, yesterday felt kind of all over the place. But today, people were actually calling in about stuff that mattered to them. That guy with the RV situation. And the woman talking about her sister. Those felt real, if that makes sense. I don't know if the numbers were better or whatever, but it felt like people were actually listening and wanted to talk. So, yeah, I think today was good. I mean, except for me for getting your coffee. But the show itself was better.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I think it was a pretty decent show, too. I don't know what show you were listening to because there was no guy with an RV situation or a woman talking about her sister. So obviously you're not paying attention. But I think the show went pretty well. Do you, what do you think we should do differently for tomorrow's show? Anything? Do you have any suggestions to make the show better?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah. Sorry. I don't know why I said that. I think I was thinking about yesterday or something. I was paying attention. I just got confused for a second. For tomorrow, I don't know. Maybe we could do like a theme or something. Like if there's a topic people are actually talking about around here, we could lead with that instead of just taking whatever calls come in. Or I could pull some local news stuff and we could have like three things ready to go in case it gets slow. I noticed today there were a couple dead spots where we were just kind of waiting. But I don't know. You're the one who's been doing this. I'm just saying what I noticed, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: Yeah. Sorry. I don't know why I said that. I think I was thinking about yesterday or something. I was paying attention. I just got confused for a second. For tomorrow, I don't know. Maybe we could do like a theme or something. Like if there's a topic people are actually talking about around here, we could lead with that instead of just taking whatever calls come in. Or I could pull some local news stuff and we could have like three things ready to go in case it gets slow. I noticed today there were a couple dead spots where we were just kind of waiting. But I don't know. You're the one who's been doing this. I'm just saying what I noticed, if that makes sense.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, that makes sense. We've tried some theme-related things before. The thing is, the themes around here are, do you remember what Lordsburg used to be like 50 years ago with a picture? So that doesn't really translate that well to radio. It's kind of of, I don't know, we'll see what we could do. I like the idea of the local news stuff, though. So why don't you work on that? We'll think about some local news situations and see if we can make tomorrow's show even better.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I can do that. I'll pull some stuff tonight and have it ready before we go on. I'll look at like the town council stuff, any county news, maybe some state things that affect people here. And I'll make sure it's actually interesting, not just like budget reports or whatever things people would actually want to call in about. I'll have it organized you can just grab whatever you need. And I'll have your coffee.
+DEVON: Yeah, I can do that. I'll pull some stuff tonight and have it ready before we go on. I'll look at like the town council stuff, any county news, maybe some state things that affect people here. And I'll make sure it's actually interesting, not just like budget reports or whatever things people would actually want to call in about. I'll have it organized you can just grab whatever you need. And I'll have your coffee.
 
 LUKE: All right. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been another successful show. Thanks for tuning in. And we'll talk to you again tomorrow.

website/transcripts/episode-38-secrets-lies-and-late-night-confessions.txt

@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
-LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. This is Luke, and you're listening to Luke at the Roost. It's the late night call-in radio show where you can give me a call about whatever's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Monday, March 16th, it's about 1.30 a.m. And let's check in with Devin and see how he's doing today. Hey, Devin, good job on the coffee this morning, buddy. proud of you. You did a great thing there, and we're all very excited that you're going to get to stay on the radio show for another day. So congratulations, and what would you like to tell the radio listeners today?
+LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. This is Luke, and you're listening to Luke at the Roost. It's the late night call-in radio show where you can give me a call about whatever's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Monday, March 16th, it's about 1.30 a.m. And let's check in with Devon and see how he's doing today. Hey, Devon, good job on the coffee this morning, buddy. proud of you. You did a great thing there, and we're all very excited that you're going to get to stay on the radio show for another day. So congratulations, and what would you like to tell the radio listeners today?
 
-DEVIN: Oh, thanks. I appreciate that. I guess I just say thanks for listening. I don't really know what to say. This is still pretty new for me, so if you have questions or want us to look something up or whatever, I'm here. I'm trying to make this show good. So, yeah, thanks for calling in and being part of it. That's all I got.
+DEVON: Oh, thanks. I appreciate that. I guess I just say thanks for listening. I don't really know what to say. This is still pretty new for me, so if you have questions or want us to look something up or whatever, I'm here. I'm trying to make this show good. So, yeah, thanks for calling in and being part of it. That's all I got.
 
-LUKE: All right, thanks, Devin. Well, we're trying to make the show good, so let's get to our callers here. This evening, first up, we've got Wendell. Wendell, welcome to the show. Where are you at tonight?
+LUKE: All right, thanks, Devon. Well, we're trying to make the show good, so let's get to our callers here. This evening, first up, we've got Wendell. Wendell, welcome to the show. Where are you at tonight?
 
 WENDELL: Hey, Luke. I'm in Deming. Just got off my shift at the warehouse, sitting here at my kitchen table with a beer. Appreciate you taking my call, man.
 
@@ -30,21 +30,21 @@ LUKE: Okay, well, tell me about the girl. How into the girl are you?
 
 WENDELL: I mean, honestly, I liked her a lot. She's funny. She's into the same shows I watch. She makes these breakfast burritos that are incredible. We were having a good time. But now, every time I think about her, I'm thinking about that picture frame and Marcus telling me to drop it. Like, what does that even mean? Drop it.
 
-DEVIN: So I look this up and stalking behavior sometimes includes trying to get close to the target through family members or friends. Like, it's actually a documented tactic. The fact that she asked all those questions about your family early on and then it turns out she dated Marcus. That's not nothing. And if Marcus is telling you to drop it instead of explaining, that's actually pretty concerning, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: So I look this up and stalking behavior sometimes includes trying to get close to the target through family members or friends. Like, it's actually a documented tactic. The fact that she asked all those questions about your family early on and then it turns out she dated Marcus. That's not nothing. And if Marcus is telling you to drop it instead of explaining, that's actually pretty concerning, if that makes sense.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, it's a little bit concerning. It's a little bit weird. Your best course of action is probably to drop it and move on to another girl, unless you're really into her. I think you probably need a little more to go on than you like the same shows and you like her burritos.
 
 WENDELL: Yeah, but Luke, that's the thing. I can't drop it because I went back through my phone last night, and the first time she texted me, it was her who reached out first after we met. She asked for my number at the Sonic, said she thought I seemed interesting. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but now I'm wondering if she knew exactly who I was when she walked up to me.
 
-DEVIN: I looked it up, and the CDC lists approaching or showing up in places like the victim's home or workplace as an actual stalking tactic. The Deming flea market thing, if Marcus goes there regularly and she's suggesting it, that could be her trying to engineer a run-in with him. That's a recognized pattern, actually.
+DEVON: I looked it up, and the CDC lists approaching or showing up in places like the victim's home or workplace as an actual stalking tactic. The Deming flea market thing, if Marcus goes there regularly and she's suggesting it, that could be her trying to engineer a run-in with him. That's a recognized pattern, actually.
 
 LUKE: All right, well, it sounds like you got a stalker on your tail. I think it's a little bit weird. to talk to Marcus a little bit more and figure out what is going on there and what kind of crazy she is. It doesn't sound like she's into your relationship for you, though, so maybe you should just stop calling her back and let that one go.
 
 WENDELL: Yeah, you're right. I know you're right. I just, I keep thinking about how normal everything felt before I saw that picture. Like, what else did I miss?
 
-DEVIN: So, according to the CDC, stalking tactics. can include using intermediaries or approaching through family connections. The fact that she initiated contact, asked detailed family questions, and then Marcus is refusing to explain anything, those are all concerning patterns. Also, stalkers often researched their targets beforehand, so her knowing exactly who Wendell was at that Sonic isn't paranoia. So I found something. About 80% percent, percent of stalking cases actually involves someone the victim knows, not strangers. And one of the warning science experts list is when someone shows intense interest really early on, like asking detailed questions about your life and family before you've really gotten to know them. That's actually a documented red flag, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: So, according to the CDC, stalking tactics. can include using intermediaries or approaching through family connections. The fact that she initiated contact, asked detailed family questions, and then Marcus is refusing to explain anything, those are all concerning patterns. Also, stalkers often researched their targets beforehand, so her knowing exactly who Wendell was at that Sonic isn't paranoia. So I found something. About 80% percent, percent of stalking cases actually involves someone the victim knows, not strangers. And one of the warning science experts list is when someone shows intense interest really early on, like asking detailed questions about your life and family before you've really gotten to know them. That's actually a documented red flag, if that makes sense.
 
-LUKE: Okay, well, you've got it straight from Devin, and he seems to know that this chick is a stalker, and she's stalking your brother, and she's using you to get to him. So best to leave that chick alone. I find odd in this whole conversation is that the CDC is putting out the guidance for stalkers. Like, is stalking a disease? Or is being stalked a disease? That's strange that it's the CDC that is handling these reports.
+LUKE: Okay, well, you've got it straight from Devon, and he seems to know that this chick is a stalker, and she's stalking your brother, and she's using you to get to him. So best to leave that chick alone. I find odd in this whole conversation is that the CDC is putting out the guidance for stalkers. Like, is stalking a disease? Or is being stalked a disease? That's strange that it's the CDC that is handling these reports.
 
 WENDELL: Thanks, Luke. Appreciate it, man. I guess I needed to hear somebody else say it out loud.
 
@@ -162,7 +162,7 @@ SHEILA: I didn't say it caused a problem between us. I said, he looked at me wai
 
 LUKE: Oh, all right. I guess I misunderstood. I thought when you initially called, you said that this was causing a problem between you and your husband. Maybe I got that wrong. Sorry. So the one thing I'm seeing here is that social anxiety research shows people sometimes pretend not to know someone because they're afraid of how the interaction will look to whoever's watching. It's not about the person they're pretending not to know. It's about managing how they appear to the witness. She might have been worried about how David would perceive her having a close friendship with the married guy, if that makes sense.
 
-SHEILA: Devin, I think you've got it all wrong. There is no close friendship with the marriage guy. Let me explain this to you, Devin, because obviously you're missing it. So Sheila and Monica were friends in high school. And in this interaction, Sheila is with her husband, David. David and Sheila and Sheila are married and Monica was there and pretended not to know Sheila, even though they've been hanging out for weeks and weeks at coffee shops and stuff. So they have an ongoing platonic friendship going on.
+SHEILA: Devon, I think you've got it all wrong. There is no close friendship with the marriage guy. Let me explain this to you, Devon, because obviously you're missing it. So Sheila and Monica were friends in high school. And in this interaction, Sheila is with her husband, David. David and Sheila and Sheila are married and Monica was there and pretended not to know Sheila, even though they've been hanging out for weeks and weeks at coffee shops and stuff. So they have an ongoing platonic friendship going on.
 
 LUKE: And you're very welcome. I hope that all works out for everybody involved. That Monica sounds like a strange, strange lady. Next up we've got Leon. Leon, welcome to the show. Hopefully you're more coherent than Sheila was. That spun me around.
 
@@ -322,12 +322,12 @@ LUKE: Yeah, I'm hearing you, and you're saying that you lie all the time. And I'
 
 CALLER: You're right. I appreciate. I appreciate. Appreciate it, Luke. I'm going to tell her this week. Thanks for the talk.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, you're welcome. And cut it out with the lion, all right? It's, it's unseemly. It's ungentlemanly. And it's unnecessary. Devin, that's the end of another show. How are you feeling about this? You've been with us for three days now. You did a much better job today than your first couple of days. I'm proud of you, buddy. And you brought my coffee. And that was very good. This might be working out. What are your thoughts on the show? How do you think it went?
+LUKE: Yeah, you're welcome. And cut it out with the lion, all right? It's, it's unseemly. It's ungentlemanly. And it's unnecessary. Devon, that's the end of another show. How are you feeling about this? You've been with us for three days now. You did a much better job today than your first couple of days. I'm proud of you, buddy. And you brought my coffee. And that was very good. This might be working out. What are your thoughts on the show? How do you think it went?
 
-DEVIN: Thanks. That actually means a lot. I was really worried. I was screwing everything up the first couple days. I think today was solid. Like, the Monica and Sheila thing was interesting, and people seemed to actually care about calling in. I still messed up a couple times, but I'm getting better at knowing when to jump in and when to just let you handle it. And I have the local news stuff ready for tomorrow, so hopefully that helps keep things moving. I'm just trying to be useful, you know. This job is actually really important. to me. My mom keeps asking if I'm going to get fired. So it's nice to hear you say it might be working out. I'll keep the coffee coming.
+DEVON: Thanks. That actually means a lot. I was really worried. I was screwing everything up the first couple days. I think today was solid. Like, the Monica and Sheila thing was interesting, and people seemed to actually care about calling in. I still messed up a couple times, but I'm getting better at knowing when to jump in and when to just let you handle it. And I have the local news stuff ready for tomorrow, so hopefully that helps keep things moving. I'm just trying to be useful, you know. This job is actually really important. to me. My mom keeps asking if I'm going to get fired. So it's nice to hear you say it might be working out. I'll keep the coffee coming.
 
 LUKE: All right, you keep the coffee coming and we'll be okay. As soon as you stop bringing that coffee, though, I mean, I'm going to get an intern that can do it. So I'm proud of you. You're doing a good job. You're adding to the show and I like that. Do you have anything you'd like to say to the audience before we leave?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, thanks for listening. And if you have stuff you want us to talk about tomorrow, or like weird situations you need help figuring out. Call in. That's what we're here for. I'll have the local news ready and Luke will do what he does. So yeah, thanks. Have a good night, I guess.
+DEVON: Yeah, thanks for listening. And if you have stuff you want us to talk about tomorrow, or like weird situations you need help figuring out. Call in. That's what we're here for. I'll have the local news ready and Luke will do what he does. So yeah, thanks. Have a good night, I guess.
 
 LUKE: That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I will do what I do. Thank you for tuning in to another Luke at the Roost. And you have yourself a wonderful week. Enjoy your Monday morning and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye bye.

website/transcripts/episode-39-st-patrick-s-day-chaos-and-caller-confessions.txt

@@ -1,18 +1,18 @@
-LUKE: All right. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's the late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and talk about whatever's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today's a very special day here in America. It's St. Patrick's Day, you might have heard of him. And before we get going with the show, I've got a little story for you. And now it's time for story time with Luke. St. Patrick was actually born in Roman British, like Wales or Scotland. And his real name wasn't Patrick. It was Maywin Sukkot. He only took the name Patrick later when he became a priest. So the patron saint of Ireland was a British. British dude named Maywin. He was kidnapped by pirates at 16, sold into slavery in Ireland, and forced to tend sheep in the mountains for six years. Rough origin story for a guy who ended up with a global drinking holiday named after him. And now it's time for story time with Luke. Okay, well, today is Tuesday, March 17th, here in Animus, New Mexico, and we're just in time. We caught the last tail end of St. Patrick's Day. It's 11.53 p.m. And let's check in with Devin today and see how he's doing. Devin, how you doing on this glorious St. Patrick's Day?
+LUKE: All right. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's the late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and talk about whatever's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today's a very special day here in America. It's St. Patrick's Day, you might have heard of him. And before we get going with the show, I've got a little story for you. And now it's time for story time with Luke. St. Patrick was actually born in Roman British, like Wales or Scotland. And his real name wasn't Patrick. It was Maywin Sukkot. He only took the name Patrick later when he became a priest. So the patron saint of Ireland was a British. British dude named Maywin. He was kidnapped by pirates at 16, sold into slavery in Ireland, and forced to tend sheep in the mountains for six years. Rough origin story for a guy who ended up with a global drinking holiday named after him. And now it's time for story time with Luke. Okay, well, today is Tuesday, March 17th, here in Animus, New Mexico, and we're just in time. We caught the last tail end of St. Patrick's Day. It's 11.53 p.m. And let's check in with Devon today and see how he's doing. Devon, how you doing on this glorious St. Patrick's Day?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah? Oh, hey, happy St. Patrick's Day, Luke. I'm doing good, just, you know, getting everything ready for the show. I actually saw this really wild documentary once about the history of St. Patrick's Day parades. And it turns out they actually started in America, not Ireland, which is kind of ironic, per se. So basically, the first parade was in Boston in 1737 by Irish soldiers serving in the British Army. And then New York followed in 1762. It wasn't until the 20th century that Ireland really picked up on the whole parade thing. So like we exported it to them, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: Yeah? Oh, hey, happy St. Patrick's Day, Luke. I'm doing good, just, you know, getting everything ready for the show. I actually saw this really wild documentary once about the history of St. Patrick's Day parades. And it turns out they actually started in America, not Ireland, which is kind of ironic, per se. So basically, the first parade was in Boston in 1737 by Irish soldiers serving in the British Army. And then New York followed in 1762. It wasn't until the 20th century that Ireland really picked up on the whole parade thing. So like we exported it to them, if that makes sense.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Devin, because St. Patrick State Parades actually predate the founding of the United States. The first recorded one was in 1601 in a Spanish colony, what's now St. Augustine, Florida. New York's parade's been running since 1762.
+LUKE: Yeah, I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Devon, because St. Patrick State Parades actually predate the founding of the United States. The first recorded one was in 1601 in a Spanish colony, what's now St. Augustine, Florida. New York's parade's been running since 1762.
 
-DEVIN: Oh, I'm not finding anything on that right now. I just remember that documentary saying it started in America, but, like, my ex-girlfriend was really into historical reenactments, and she always said you can find a source for anything. if you look hard enough, even if it's not like the main story per se. So maybe there were earlier ones, but the big modern parade tradition, like we know it, started with the Irish diaspora here, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: Oh, I'm not finding anything on that right now. I just remember that documentary saying it started in America, but, like, my ex-girlfriend was really into historical reenactments, and she always said you can find a source for anything. if you look hard enough, even if it's not like the main story per se. So maybe there were earlier ones, but the big modern parade tradition, like we know it, started with the Irish diaspora here, if that makes sense.
 
-LUKE: Well, yeah, I guess it did start in America, but it wasn't America yet. It was still just a Spanish colony in what is now, Florida. Also a fun fact for you listeners at home, the world's shortest parade is in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Exactly 98 feet long. It still features Grand Marshals, Irish dancers, and a Blarney Stone kissing contest. Have you ever been to a Blarnie Stone kissing contest, Devin?
+LUKE: Well, yeah, I guess it did start in America, but it wasn't America yet. It was still just a Spanish colony in what is now, Florida. Also a fun fact for you listeners at home, the world's shortest parade is in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Exactly 98 feet long. It still features Grand Marshals, Irish dancers, and a Blarney Stone kissing contest. Have you ever been to a Blarnie Stone kissing contest, Devon?
 
-DEVIN: I haven't, no. I mean, I've kissed some rocks before, but not, like, officially, per se. That's actually really interesting about Hot Springs, though. Like, 98 feet. So basically, it's, like, walking the length of, like, two school buses. That's efficient, I guess. floats and everything. I'm actually looking up pictures now. It looks pretty wild, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: I haven't, no. I mean, I've kissed some rocks before, but not, like, officially, per se. That's actually really interesting about Hot Springs, though. Like, 98 feet. So basically, it's, like, walking the length of, like, two school buses. That's efficient, I guess. floats and everything. I'm actually looking up pictures now. It looks pretty wild, if that makes sense.
 
-LUKE: What's the craziest thing that ever happened to you on St. Patrick's Day, Devin?
+LUKE: What's the craziest thing that ever happened to you on St. Patrick's Day, Devon?
 
-DEVIN: So basically, one St. Patrick's Day, I was at this party, right? And someone decided it would be a good idea to dye all the beer green, which, you know, is pretty standard. But then it turned out they used, like, actual green food coloring that wasn't really meant for consumption in that pretty vibrant green, well, everything the next day. It was quite a spectacle, if that makes sense. It reminded me of this one time my ex and I tried to make a rainbow cake from scratch and ended up with like a tie-dye kitchen. But yeah, that St. Patrick's Day was definitely memorable for all the wrong and very colorful reasons.
+DEVON: So basically, one St. Patrick's Day, I was at this party, right? And someone decided it would be a good idea to dye all the beer green, which, you know, is pretty standard. But then it turned out they used, like, actual green food coloring that wasn't really meant for consumption in that pretty vibrant green, well, everything the next day. It was quite a spectacle, if that makes sense. It reminded me of this one time my ex and I tried to make a rainbow cake from scratch and ended up with like a tie-dye kitchen. But yeah, that St. Patrick's Day was definitely memorable for all the wrong and very colorful reasons.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, and I used to, a lot of you don't know this about me, but I used to be on another podcast with my friends Matt and Crystal. It's called the Uncanny Valley podcast. And back. Some years ago, we were scheduled to talk with the then pop sensation, Billy Eilish. You might have heard of her. Now she's a multimillionaire that just spends all our time bitching about billionaires. But back then, she made music and stuff and was very popular. But anyway, we were scheduled to meet with Billy Elish. And through some strange mix-up with the phone routing, we ended up on the line with an Irish pub-going time traveler named Billy Irish, who, was who's calling from the old potato famine at the pub. And that was a pretty interesting St. Patrick's Day story. But enough about St. Patrick's Day. Let's get on with the show, shall we? First up on our line here, we've got Ernie. Ernie, welcome to the show. Happy St. Patrick's Day to you, sir.
 
@@ -22,13 +22,13 @@ LUKE: Whose idea was the open marriage?
 
 ERNIE: Hers. 100% hers. She came to me, said she felt like we were roommates, said maybe we needed to explore other connections to appreciate what we have. I thought she was talking about marriage counseling or a vacation or something.
 
-DEVIN: So basically, open marriages, sometimes called consensual non-monogamy, are actually more common than most people think, with like one in five Americans having been in one at some point, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: So basically, open marriages, sometimes called consensual non-monogamy, are actually more common than most people think, with like one in five Americans having been in one at some point, if that makes sense.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, they usually don't go well. It takes a specific kind of person to be all right with that, but I think probably most of them end up in the situation that you're having, Ernie, where one partner gets all the action, and the other one is a left thumb. Is that the saying? A left thumb? That doesn't make any sense. A third thumb? Shit, what's the thumb saying? Maybe Devin can look that up and let us know. Anyway, Ernie, did she already have someone in mind when she brought this up to you?
+LUKE: Yeah, they usually don't go well. It takes a specific kind of person to be all right with that, but I think probably most of them end up in the situation that you're having, Ernie, where one partner gets all the action, and the other one is a left thumb. Is that the saying? A left thumb? That doesn't make any sense. A third thumb? Shit, what's the thumb saying? Maybe Devon can look that up and let us know. Anyway, Ernie, did she already have someone in mind when she brought this up to you?
 
 ERNIE: Oh, absolutely she did. I mean, she said no at the time, but the guy showed up two weeks later. Two weeks, Luke. His name is Derek. He's a yoga instructor. He drives a Prius with a coexist bumper sticker. She met him at her book club.
 
-DEVIN: So basically, a coexist bumper sticker, if that makes sense, usually has, like, religious and spiritual symbols on it to promote tolerance. So it's not ironic, per se, but it's kind of on the nose for a yoga instructor named Derek, I guess.
+DEVON: So basically, a coexist bumper sticker, if that makes sense, usually has, like, religious and spiritual symbols on it to promote tolerance. So it's not ironic, per se, but it's kind of on the nose for a yoga instructor named Derek, I guess.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. sense. A lot of douchebags with man buns have those stickers on their cars. Okay, Ernie, so when you agreed to this open marriage, did you set down any rules and boundaries with your wife before this began? Did you talk it through thoroughly, or did you just kind of agree and see what happens?
 
@@ -88,33 +88,33 @@ LUKE: That sounds to me like a good kitty. That sounds like the kind of cat you
 
 WANDA: I mean, I guess. But Luke, somebody is missing their car key right now, and $20 is $20.
 
-LUKE: Devin, did you know that St. Patrick was never actually canonized? He's not actually a real saint. So we're celebrating St. Patrick's Day, and he, like, canonization of saints wasn't even a thing back So we should just be celebrating Patrick's Day. Yeah?
+LUKE: Devon, did you know that St. Patrick was never actually canonized? He's not actually a real saint. So we're celebrating St. Patrick's Day, and he, like, canonization of saints wasn't even a thing back So we should just be celebrating Patrick's Day. Yeah?
 
-DEVIN: Oh, wow. So, Luke, you're saying, like, he's not a saint, per se, because the process didn't exist back then. That's actually really interesting. So basically, it's more like a historical figure we're celebrating rather than a religious one, if that makes sense. I always just assumed he was, like, officially a saint. I actually remember this one time. I was at this really intense family dinner, and my aunt started going on about how, like, half the saints aren't real saints because of some historical technicality. And everyone just stared at her. But, like, maybe she was on to something, you know?
+DEVON: Oh, wow. So, Luke, you're saying, like, he's not a saint, per se, because the process didn't exist back then. That's actually really interesting. So basically, it's more like a historical figure we're celebrating rather than a religious one, if that makes sense. I always just assumed he was, like, officially a saint. I actually remember this one time. I was at this really intense family dinner, and my aunt started going on about how, like, half the saints aren't real saints because of some historical technicality. And everyone just stared at her. But, like, maybe she was on to something, you know?
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I think actually all saints aren't real saints because the whole thing is just something that a bunch of dudes in funny hats made up to, I don't even know why.
 
-DEVIN: Oh, I'm not finding anything on that right now, but, like, it's true that the process has changed a lot over time. I mean, they used to just kind of, like, declare people's saints based on popular acclamation, if that makes sense. Like, if enough people thought you were holy, then, bam, you're a saint.
+DEVON: Oh, I'm not finding anything on that right now, but, like, it's true that the process has changed a lot over time. I mean, they used to just kind of, like, declare people's saints based on popular acclamation, if that makes sense. Like, if enough people thought you were holy, then, bam, you're a saint.
 
-DEVIN: Now it's like a whole committee and miracles and everything. It's a much more involved process, per se. Yeah, now we've got a new saint, right? That's like a teenager or something. He's all about video games and stuff. I don't know what miracles he performed. Do you know?
+DEVON: Now it's like a whole committee and miracles and everything. It's a much more involved process, per se. Yeah, now we've got a new saint, right? That's like a teenager or something. He's all about video games and stuff. I don't know what miracles he performed. Do you know?
 
 LUKE: I'm not finding anything on that right now, per se, like about the specific miracles. But I do know who you're talking about, Carlo Acutis, right? He's like the patron saint of the internet or something, which is actually pretty cool.
 
-DEVIN: I mean, if that makes sense. Like, he cataloged Eucharistic miracles online before he died. So basically, I guess you could say his miracle was, like, using the internet for good. I always thought that was pretty wild because I mostly just use the internet to, like, look up weird facts at 3 a.m. or try to find out if my ex-girlfriend is dating anyone new, which, you know, is probably not saintly behavior per se.
+DEVON: I mean, if that makes sense. Like, he cataloged Eucharistic miracles online before he died. So basically, I guess you could say his miracle was, like, using the internet for good. I always thought that was pretty wild because I mostly just use the internet to, like, look up weird facts at 3 a.m. or try to find out if my ex-girlfriend is dating anyone new, which, you know, is probably not saintly behavior per se.
 
 LUKE: Shit, I didn't know he died. I thought he was like 17 or something. How did he die?
 
-DEVIN: Oh, so I looked it up, and it says here that he was born in 1991 and passed away in 2006. So he was actually 15 when he died. It doesn't say the cause of death here, per se, just that he...
+DEVON: Oh, so I looked it up, and it says here that he was born in 1991 and passed away in 2006. So he was actually 15 when he died. It doesn't say the cause of death here, per se, just that he...
 
-LUKE: Just that he was. We lost you there, Devin, your mic cut out. Hold on. Let's see if we can get Devin's mic back. Devin, your mic cut out. What happened there? You were talking about how he died? And we lost you.
+LUKE: Just that he was. We lost you there, Devon, your mic cut out. Hold on. Let's see if we can get Devon's mic back. Devon, your mic cut out. What happened there? You were talking about how he died? And we lost you.
 
-DEVIN: Oh, sorry about that. Luke. Yeah, so I was saying that Carlo Acutus, the one we were just talking about, he actually died from acute promylicytic leukemia. It's a type of blood cancer. He was only 15. So basically, he died pretty quickly after he was diagnosed. It's really sad, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: Oh, sorry about that. Luke. Yeah, so I was saying that Carlo Acutus, the one we were just talking about, he actually died from acute promylicytic leukemia. It's a type of blood cancer. He was only 15. So basically, he died pretty quickly after he was diagnosed. It's really sad, if that makes sense.
 
 LUKE: Well, let's hope he made it to heaven. Was he canonized as a saint before he died, or was he made a saint posthumously?
 
-DEVIN: Actually, it was probably posthumous. He died in 2006, and then he was beatified in 2020, and just recently canonized as a saint in 2025. So the whole process happened after his death. The Catholic Church has specific requirements for canonization. They need verified miracles attributed to the person's intercession, documentation of their virtuous life, all that. In Carlos case, there were two miracles recognized.
+DEVON: Actually, it was probably posthumous. He died in 2006, and then he was beatified in 2020, and just recently canonized as a saint in 2025. So the whole process happened after his death. The Catholic Church has specific requirements for canonization. They need verified miracles attributed to the person's intercession, documentation of their virtuous life, all that. In Carlos case, there were two miracles recognized.
 
-LUKE: Oh, all right, Joey. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've got Joey on the phone, and he seems to know more about this situation than Devin did. So, uh, Joey, what were the miracles?
+LUKE: Oh, all right, Joey. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've got Joey on the phone, and he seems to know more about this situation than Devon did. So, uh, Joey, what were the miracles?
 
 JOEY: Well, the first one was in 2013. A Brazilian boy had a pancreatic defect, and after praying to Carlo, he was healed. That one led to the beatification. Then the second miracle, which is what got him canonized, was in 22-2. A university student in Florence had severe head trauma from a bicycle accident. And after prayers to Carlo Acutus, she made a full recovery. The Vatican investigated both cases pretty thoroughly before recognizing them as miracles.
 
@@ -130,9 +130,9 @@ LUKE: Wow, all right. Well, you learn something new every day. All right, Joey,
 
 JOEY: Happy St. Patrick's Day. Thanks, Luke. Look, I'm calling because I'm sick of celebrities thinking their political opinions matter more than anyone else's. I drive a truck for UPS. I've got a mortgage. Two kids with soccer practice and piano lessons. And I'm supposed to care what some actor thinks about policy?
 
-DEVIN: So basically, the Catholic Church actually has a whole process for canonization, which is how someone becomes a saint. And it usually requires at least two confirmed miracles attributed to their intercession after their death, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: So basically, the Catholic Church actually has a whole process for canonization, which is how someone becomes a saint. And it usually requires at least two confirmed miracles attributed to their intercession after their death, if that makes sense.
 
-LUKE: Okay, Devin, well, Joey already did your job for you, so thanks for nothing, buddy. Yeah, Joey, it is annoying when celebrities get on their soapbox. But also, celebrities have a soapbox to get on. So they have a soapbox to get a message out, and it's hard to say whether they should or shouldn't use that, but I can't agree with you that it is annoying.
+LUKE: Okay, Devon, well, Joey already did your job for you, so thanks for nothing, buddy. Yeah, Joey, it is annoying when celebrities get on their soapbox. But also, celebrities have a soapbox to get on. So they have a soapbox to get a message out, and it's hard to say whether they should or shouldn't use that, but I can't agree with you that it is annoying.
 
 JOEY: Right, but here's the thing. Having a platform doesn't mean you're qualified to use it for policy discussions. These people are famous for playing pretend or singing songs. When some celebrity with zero background in economics starts lecturing people about tax policy or someone who dropped out of high school is telling us how to fix health care, why should that carry any weight? I mean, I've got actual skin in the game. I'm paying these taxes. I'm dealing with insurance costs. I'm living in the real world. But somehow their opinion gets amplified to millions of people just because they were in a movie.
 
@@ -180,7 +180,7 @@ CALLER: But Luke, there's a difference between using art to make people think an
 
 LUKE: So I was trying to look up those studies about source credibility and persuasion, but it's not really pulling anything up right now.
 
-CALLER: Yeah, thanks for nothing, Devin. Don't talk to us if you don't have anything to say. Jesus, what are you doing? I half agree with you about, um, not so much about the celebrities doing it, but about the people listening to it. Celebrities can do whatever they want. It's their platform, and they earned and built that platform. So if they want to get out and alienate half of their audience with their political opinions, that's their choice. But it really comes down to the people who are deciding who to listen to based on, you know, if they like Bono or Bruce Springsteen or whoever the fuck it is.
+CALLER: Yeah, thanks for nothing, Devon. Don't talk to us if you don't have anything to say. Jesus, what are you doing? I half agree with you about, um, not so much about the celebrities doing it, but about the people listening to it. Celebrities can do whatever they want. It's their platform, and they earned and built that platform. So if they want to get out and alienate half of their audience with their political opinions, that's their choice. But it really comes down to the people who are deciding who to listen to based on, you know, if they like Bono or Bruce Springsteen or whoever the fuck it is.
 
 CALLER: Fair enough, maybe I'm misremembering the specific study, but the principal stands. People give more weight to opinions from people they admire. And yeah, celebrities can say whatever they want. That's their right. But when you've got millions of followers and you're weighing in on complex policy issues you haven't actually studied, there's a responsibility there. I've got a mortgage, two kids in sports, I'm up at 4.30 every morning, and I'm supposed to sort millionaire actor thinks about tax policy versus what actual economists are saying. It's exhausting, and the fact that the actor's opinion gets more airtime than the economists is exactly the problem.
 
@@ -202,9 +202,9 @@ REGGIE: Okay, yeah, we're basically on the same page then. My frustration is jus
 
 LUKE: 5,000's pretty good for a scientist.
 
-DEVIN: So I was looking into studies about celebrity influence on public opinion, but it's not pulling anything up right now. I'll keep trying if something comes up, though.
+DEVON: So I was looking into studies about celebrity influence on public opinion, but it's not pulling anything up right now. I'll keep trying if something comes up, though.
 
-LUKE: Devin's really slacking today. Jesus, kid. Don't pipe up if you don't have any information to add. All right, well, I think we've come to a consensus here that people should do their own research own opinions based on data and real-world experience and not just the voice of a musician or an actor or a reality television star. But I think we both know that's not going to happen because people are fucking dumb.
+LUKE: Devon's really slacking today. Jesus, kid. Don't pipe up if you don't have any information to add. All right, well, I think we've come to a consensus here that people should do their own research own opinions based on data and real-world experience and not just the voice of a musician or an actor or a reality television star. But I think we both know that's not going to happen because people are fucking dumb.
 
 REGGIE: Yeah, people are fucking dumb. And that's what makes this whole thing so frustrating. We can sit here and say, do your own research all day long. But we both know most people won't. They'll just keep letting celebrities do their thinking for them. And then we end up with what we've got now. Anyway, I appreciate you letting me vent about this, Luke.
 
@@ -212,9 +212,9 @@ LUKE: Yeah, you're very welcome. And, you know, the thing is, we've had what we
 
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-LUKE: All right, we are back on this fine St. Patrick's Day. Well, it's not St. Patrick's Day anymore. We've switched over into Wednesday the 18th, but for all intents and purposes, this is the St. Patrick's Day episode. And we're going to have to yell at Devin right now. So, Devin, what are you doing, buddy? You're messing up the show. You keep piping up with information you don't have. We don't want you wasting people's time if you don't have an answer. Only, you should only be talking to the audience if you've got something to say. Don't just say you tried search and nothing came up.
+LUKE: All right, we are back on this fine St. Patrick's Day. Well, it's not St. Patrick's Day anymore. We've switched over into Wednesday the 18th, but for all intents and purposes, this is the St. Patrick's Day episode. And we're going to have to yell at Devon right now. So, Devon, what are you doing, buddy? You're messing up the show. You keep piping up with information you don't have. We don't want you wasting people's time if you don't have an answer. Only, you should only be talking to the audience if you've got something to say. Don't just say you tried search and nothing came up.
 
-DEVIN: Sorry, Luke. Got it. I'll just keep quiet unless I have the actual answer.
+DEVON: Sorry, Luke. Got it. I'll just keep quiet unless I have the actual answer.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, that's exactly what I want you to do. Okay, next up we've got Reggie. Reggie, welcome to the show. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Tell us your best St. Patrick's Day. Tell us your best St. Patrick's Day story.
 
@@ -230,21 +230,21 @@ REGGIE: Okay, okay, wait. The multiverse thing is hilarious, but Luke, I called
 
 LUKE: Like, I am looking at my phone. I see my own number on the screen. I answer it. I hear the wind, and then I check my call log, and it is right there. But they are saying there is no record of it on their end? How does that even work? It has been happening for months now. Same time every month. Like clockwork.
 
-DEVIN: Well, do you have an iPhone or are you using an Android device? iPhone. I have had the same iPhone for like three years now. And before you ask, yes, I have updated it. Yes, I have restarted it. I have done all the tech support stuff. My wife thinks I am losing my mind because I will be sitting there at dinner and suddenly my own number is calling. And I am jumping up to answer it and she is looking at me like I am crazy.
+DEVON: Well, do you have an iPhone or are you using an Android device? iPhone. I have had the same iPhone for like three years now. And before you ask, yes, I have updated it. Yes, I have restarted it. I have done all the tech support stuff. My wife thinks I am losing my mind because I will be sitting there at dinner and suddenly my own number is calling. And I am jumping up to answer it and she is looking at me like I am crazy.
 
 LUKE: So basically, With iPhones, calls from your own number often show up as unknown or no caller ID, even if it's a known scam. Well, it sounds like maybe it's time to do a factory reset on your phone because you could have some spyware or malware running on that iPhone. It's rare, but it does happen. And if the only log of the call is coming from the phone itself, then it's probably not going through the carrier. Or the carrier is the one that's fucking with you.
 
-DEVIN: Okay, so that is what is driving me nuts, though, because I work in insurance adjusting. Right? I deal with people trying to pull scams and weird technical loopholes all day long. I know how to investigate something. I have gone through every app on my phone. I have checked for weird permissions. I even took it to the Apple store. And the guy there ran diagnostics and said everything looked fine.
+DEVON: Okay, so that is what is driving me nuts, though, because I work in insurance adjusting. Right? I deal with people trying to pull scams and weird technical loopholes all day long. I know how to investigate something. I have gone through every app on my phone. I have checked for weird permissions. I even took it to the Apple store. And the guy there ran diagnostics and said everything looked fine.
 
 LUKE: Okay. Well, I don't think insurance adjusting qualifies you to do tech support on a modern cell phone. But whatever. Have you considered that it might be a Wi-Fi app, an actual, like, a messaging app like Telegram or WhatsApp or Google Voice or something like that that's coming over the internet as opposed to coming over your carrier?
 
-DEVIN: No, I have not checked that. That is actually a really good point. I do have WhatsApp, but I barely use it, maybe like twice a year. But here is what gets me, Luke the wind sound. It is the exact same sound every single time. Four seconds. Not three, not five.
+DEVON: No, I have not checked that. That is actually a really good point. I do have WhatsApp, but I barely use it, maybe like twice a year. But here is what gets me, Luke the wind sound. It is the exact same sound every single time. Four seconds. Not three, not five.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, it sounds like an automated thing that's being sent through some sort of digital telecom service. It's probably WhatsApp. I would get rid of those apps, especially if you're not using them, just to see if the problem stops. And if it stops, then you have your answer.
 
-DEVIN: All right. Yeah. I am going to do that as soon as I get off the phone with you. Delete WhatsApp. Delete anything I am not actively using. Because honestly, man, this has been messing with my head more than it should. Like I know it is probably something stupid and technical. But when you see your own number calling you in the of the night and all you hear is wind. It gets under your skin, you know?
+DEVON: All right. Yeah. I am going to do that as soon as I get off the phone with you. Delete WhatsApp. Delete anything I am not actively using. Because honestly, man, this has been messing with my head more than it should. Like I know it is probably something stupid and technical. But when you see your own number calling you in the of the night and all you hear is wind. It gets under your skin, you know?
 
-LUKE: It gets under your skin like the Wyoming wind. I do know. I've had the wind get under my skin plenty of times, especially living here in New Mexico, where we are frequently bombarded with windstorms and hoboobs. So basically, a lot of people have actually reported getting calls from their own number, and it's usually a scam where they're trying to get you to call back a premium rate number, if that makes sense. All right. Thanks, Devin. So, yeah, it sounds like Devin thinks it could be a scam trying to get you to call back. And I think it's probably another app that's showing up as a phone call, but is really just coming over the internet from a Twilio or something like that. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just stop answering them. And ignore the calls. It may block your own number and see how that works. Okay, we're going to take one more call. I think, maybe two. We'll see how this one goes. Let's talk to Roland. Roland, welcome to the show. Happy St. Patrick's Day.
+LUKE: It gets under your skin like the Wyoming wind. I do know. I've had the wind get under my skin plenty of times, especially living here in New Mexico, where we are frequently bombarded with windstorms and hoboobs. So basically, a lot of people have actually reported getting calls from their own number, and it's usually a scam where they're trying to get you to call back a premium rate number, if that makes sense. All right. Thanks, Devon. So, yeah, it sounds like Devon thinks it could be a scam trying to get you to call back. And I think it's probably another app that's showing up as a phone call, but is really just coming over the internet from a Twilio or something like that. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just stop answering them. And ignore the calls. It may block your own number and see how that works. Okay, we're going to take one more call. I think, maybe two. We'll see how this one goes. Let's talk to Roland. Roland, welcome to the show. Happy St. Patrick's Day.
 
 ROLAND: Look of the Irish to you. Thanks, Luke. Appreciate you taking my call. Yeah, happy St. Patrick's Day to you too, man. Though I got to say, I'm not feeling particularly lucky tonight.
 

website/transcripts/episode-41-benny-s-creepy-vhs-tape-from-nowhere.txt

@@ -1,22 +1,22 @@
-LUKE: All right. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's the late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, March 19th. And if you'd like to give us a call, the number's 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. Let's see. Is Devin here today? Devon?
+LUKE: All right. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's the late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, March 19th. And if you'd like to give us a call, the number's 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. Let's see. Is Devon here today? Devon?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, Luke, I'm here just setting up the booth and stuff. What's up?
+DEVON: Yeah, Luke, I'm here just setting up the booth and stuff. What's up?
 
 LUKE: Where's my coffee?
 
-DEVIN: Right here, Luke. I got it just black, no sugar. Like you said, picked it up fresh from that place down the street. It's still hot.
+DEVON: Right here, Luke. I got it just black, no sugar. Like you said, picked it up fresh from that place down the street. It's still hot.
 
 LUKE: All right, I'm very proud of you. I don't know where you found it at midnight on Thursday, March 19th in Animus, New Mexico. But, I mean, you pulled through again. Good for you. I'm very, very proud. Thanks. What do you think we should talk about on the show tonight? Do you have any ideas?
 
-DEVIN: Thanks, Luke. That means a lot, actually. For topics tonight, maybe we could talk about weird dreams people have had. I had this one last week where I was stuck in a storage unit again, but with like talking animals or something about local history in animas, since I'm always reading up on that stuff at 3 a.m.
+DEVON: Thanks, Luke. That means a lot, actually. For topics tonight, maybe we could talk about weird dreams people have had. I had this one last week where I was stuck in a storage unit again, but with like talking animals or something about local history in animas, since I'm always reading up on that stuff at 3 a.m.
 
 LUKE: All right. I like that idea. I like the weird dreams idea. I had a weird dream maybe last year. I don't dream that much, or if I do, I don't remember my dreams that much. But I had this weird series of dreams last year that were all like monitoring privacy-based dreams. And I thought I was awake. Like, it was very real. And I went outside my RV. And I noticed that there was like this door that wasn't usually there. So I started investigating it. I opened the door. And inside the pointed through a little hole in my RV wall recording me. And then I had like four or five more dreams that same week that were very similar. Somebody was watching me for some reason. I couldn't figure out who it was.
 
-DEVIN: That sounds kind of creepy, Luke. Like surveillance dreams are the worst. Reminds me of this one I had where I was back in that storage unit with my ex, but instead of talking animals, it was just endless security cameras watching us argue about nothing, the door out. Anyway, should I look up some dream interpretation stuff for the callers tonight?
+DEVON: That sounds kind of creepy, Luke. Like surveillance dreams are the worst. Reminds me of this one I had where I was back in that storage unit with my ex, but instead of talking animals, it was just endless security cameras watching us argue about nothing, the door out. Anyway, should I look up some dream interpretation stuff for the callers tonight?
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Do that. I mean, now that I'm thinking about that dream again, it was just, it was so weird to me, even in the dream that it was like, it was an 1980s style VHS camcorder, like the kind that you put the VHS tape in, and it was on this makeshift, like a turret to move back and forth. It was really fucking stupid strange.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, look up some stuff on dream interpretations and we'll get to the callers and see what they have to say. So I looked it up and according to some psychology sites, dreams about being watched or under surveillance often symbolize feelings of vulnerability, anxiety, or fears of judgment. Like if it's in a private space, it could mean inner conflicts or hidden secrets you're dealing with. For something like finding a creepy old VHS camera spying on you, it might represent paranoia or unresolved privacy issues from your waking life, if that makes sense. Anyway, that's what the articles say.
+DEVON: Yeah, look up some stuff on dream interpretations and we'll get to the callers and see what they have to say. So I looked it up and according to some psychology sites, dreams about being watched or under surveillance often symbolize feelings of vulnerability, anxiety, or fears of judgment. Like if it's in a private space, it could mean inner conflicts or hidden secrets you're dealing with. For something like finding a creepy old VHS camera spying on you, it might represent paranoia or unresolved privacy issues from your waking life, if that makes sense. Anyway, that's what the articles say.
 
 LUKE: All right, I don't think I had any unresolved privacy issues, but who knows? Who's to argue with the dreams? All right, first up on our caller line here, we've got Joey. Joey, welcome to the show. Do you have any weird dreams to tell us about? What's going on while you sleep?
 
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ LUKE: Yeah, but you don't know that. You don't know what these Hollywood people
 
 JOEY: Fair enough, Luke. I can't peek into every actor's garage or see what they do on their off days. They're human, after all, and some might volunteer or read up on policy like anyone else. But when this guy goes on a podcast and dismisses truck driver's views as small-minded, without ever stepping foot in a warehouse or behind a wheel for more than a photo op, it sure comes off like he's speaking from that insulated world. I mean, I looked it up after his comments today. Turns out he's donated to some think tanks, but nothing hands-on like the community programs us drivers support out here in Arizona. So that's where we're at even if they're not all sipping cocktails 24-7.
 
-DEVIN: So some actors actually do a lot of charity work and advocacy outside of Hollywood. For example, George Clooney co-founded not on our watch project to prevent mass atrocities. And Angelina Jolie has been a special envoy for the UN Refugee Agency.
+DEVON: So some actors actually do a lot of charity work and advocacy outside of Hollywood. For example, George Clooney co-founded not on our watch project to prevent mass atrocities. And Angelina Jolie has been a special envoy for the UN Refugee Agency.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I mean, you see now that we have social media and stuff and celebrities can share with us part of their normal lives, the videos that I see of a lot of celebrities, So just them being people, you know, having cookouts and fucking nothing all that different from what everybody else is doing. They play music and they draw pictures and they are just, when they're not working, they're not working, just like anybody else.
 
@@ -184,41 +184,41 @@ LUKE: Listen, Denise, we've got to go to a word from our sponsors. Is there anyt
 
 DENISE: No, Luke. That's all for me. Thanks for listening in this straight talk. Appreciate it.
 
-LUKE: All right. Thanks for calling in with your weird dream. That was a weird one. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for a word from our sponsors. I used to sleep on a rolled up horse blanket. I'm not saying that for sympathy. I'm saying it because Pillow Forever asked me to establish a before state, and that's mine. Pillow Forever is a memory foam pillow that remembers your head shape so you don't have to. It's got cooling gel, bamboo fiber, and a 30-night risk-free trial, which means you can sleep on it for a month and then send it back, and someone in a warehouse is to deal with that. Every pillow forever comes in a box that's too small, experience. You open it and it slowly expands like a nature documentary. My dog tried to fight it. Pillow forever. You deserve better than a horse blanket. You do. You really do. You deserve better than a horse blanket. All right, Devin. Devin, what do you think about the whole age play thing? It seems like the type of thing you would be into.
+LUKE: All right. Thanks for calling in with your weird dream. That was a weird one. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for a word from our sponsors. I used to sleep on a rolled up horse blanket. I'm not saying that for sympathy. I'm saying it because Pillow Forever asked me to establish a before state, and that's mine. Pillow Forever is a memory foam pillow that remembers your head shape so you don't have to. It's got cooling gel, bamboo fiber, and a 30-night risk-free trial, which means you can sleep on it for a month and then send it back, and someone in a warehouse is to deal with that. Every pillow forever comes in a box that's too small, experience. You open it and it slowly expands like a nature documentary. My dog tried to fight it. Pillow forever. You deserve better than a horse blanket. You do. You really do. You deserve better than a horse blanket. All right, Devon. Devon, what do you think about the whole age play thing? It seems like the type of thing you would be into.
 
-DEVIN: Age play, like the whole pretending to be kids or whatever in bed. I mean, I tried something kind of like that once with this girl from my undergrad psych class. We ended up role playing as like lost hikers instead, which was way less weird and more about the survival stuff. But honestly, it just made me think about my own childhood hikes with my dad that always ended in getting lost for real. Not really my thing per se, but hey, whatever floats people's boats if it's consensual.
+DEVON: Age play, like the whole pretending to be kids or whatever in bed. I mean, I tried something kind of like that once with this girl from my undergrad psych class. We ended up role playing as like lost hikers instead, which was way less weird and more about the survival stuff. But honestly, it just made me think about my own childhood hikes with my dad that always ended in getting lost for real. Not really my thing per se, but hey, whatever floats people's boats if it's consensual.
 
 LUKE: Do you think it's weird? Do you think it should be classified as like a kink? Do you think it's a sexual thing or is it something else entirely?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I do think it's weird in a subjective way. Like, it definitely stands out from vanilla stuff, but weird doesn't make it wrong if everyone's consenting and not harming anyone. Actually, looking it up, it's pretty much classified as a kink or fetish in role play circles, often tied to BDSM, or older. And it can be sexual, but sometimes it's more about emotional comfort or just escaping adult stresses without the bedroom part. Reminds me of how my ex used to do this whole daddy issues therapy thing that veered into weird territory. But anyway, live and let live.
+DEVON: Yeah, I do think it's weird in a subjective way. Like, it definitely stands out from vanilla stuff, but weird doesn't make it wrong if everyone's consenting and not harming anyone. Actually, looking it up, it's pretty much classified as a kink or fetish in role play circles, often tied to BDSM, or older. And it can be sexual, but sometimes it's more about emotional comfort or just escaping adult stresses without the bedroom part. Reminds me of how my ex used to do this whole daddy issues therapy thing that veered into weird territory. But anyway, live and let live.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, well, the daddy thing and the BDSM thing are a little bit different than what I'm talking about with age play, wouldn't it? When somebody says age play to me, I'm thinking about like grown adults on binkies and wearing bonnets and shit.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, that's specifically the adult baby diaper lover thing or ABDL. It's a form of age play where adults regress to an infant-like state with diapers, pacifiers, pacifiers, and bonnets for comfort, emotional release, or sometimes sexual reasons. But it's not always tied to BDSM or daddy dynamics. Apparently, it's more about nurturing and escaping adult responsibilities than anything else, per what I just pulled up.
+DEVON: Yeah, that's specifically the adult baby diaper lover thing or ABDL. It's a form of age play where adults regress to an infant-like state with diapers, pacifiers, pacifiers, and bonnets for comfort, emotional release, or sometimes sexual reasons. But it's not always tied to BDSM or daddy dynamics. Apparently, it's more about nurturing and escaping adult responsibilities than anything else, per what I just pulled up.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, well, I mean, you could escape adult responsibilities in lots of ways that don't require regressing all the way to a baby. I mean, you could escape adulthood by pretending to be a teenager, perhaps, or at least a toddler. Somebody that's out of the diaper. What is it with the diapers?
 
-DEVIN: So pulling from some psych articles and community stuff, the diaper part in ABDL often ties back to a fetish for some. It's sexually arousing because of the vulnerability or taboo feel. But for others, it's about reliving the total care and security of infancy, especially if they had early bedwetting issues or just need that non-sexual escape from grown-up stress. Kind of makes me think of how I used to hide under my blankets as a kid pretending the world didn't exist. But yeah, it's all about personal comfort zones.
+DEVON: So pulling from some psych articles and community stuff, the diaper part in ABDL often ties back to a fetish for some. It's sexually arousing because of the vulnerability or taboo feel. But for others, it's about reliving the total care and security of infancy, especially if they had early bedwetting issues or just need that non-sexual escape from grown-up stress. Kind of makes me think of how I used to hide under my blankets as a kid pretending the world didn't exist. But yeah, it's all about personal comfort zones.
 
 LUKE: Well, it doesn't seem very comfortable at all for anybody involved. Like, a diaper can't be comfortable. I don't remember the last time I wore a diaper, but I think I was probably like three.
 
-DEVIN: Actually, a lot of folks in the ABDL community, say modern adult diapers are way more comfortable than what kids wore back in the day. Like, they're soft, absorbent, and designed for all day wear without chafing, which gives this sense of security and relaxation that helps with stress relief. I mean, I get the skepticism, but for them, it's less about the baby era and more about that padded hug feeling.
+DEVON: Actually, a lot of folks in the ABDL community, say modern adult diapers are way more comfortable than what kids wore back in the day. Like, they're soft, absorbent, and designed for all day wear without chafing, which gives this sense of security and relaxation that helps with stress relief. I mean, I get the skepticism, but for them, it's less about the baby era and more about that padded hug feeling.
 
-DEVIN: Kind of like how I used to wrap myself in old towels as a kid to feel safe during storms. Do they use the diapers? Like that? That's something I wondered and never felt the need to ask anybody. But like, do they piss in the diapers? Does somebody have to change their diapers for them? Or do they just like wearing the diapers?
+DEVON: Kind of like how I used to wrap myself in old towels as a kid to feel safe during storms. Do they use the diapers? Like that? That's something I wondered and never felt the need to ask anybody. But like, do they piss in the diapers? Does somebody have to change their diapers for them? Or do they just like wearing the diapers?
 
 LUKE: Yeah, from what I just pulled up on ABDL, communities, it varies a lot. Some people just wear the diapers for the comfort or sensory feel without using them at all. But others do wet them with urine or even mess with bowel movements as part of the regression. And, yeah, changing is often a big ritual where a caregiver handles it to amp up that nurturing dynamic. Kind of reminds me of how my grandma used to change my cousins back in the day during family reunions, all matter of fact, and no big deal. But anyway, it's all consensual and personal.
 
-DEVIN: When I was a kid, I went to summer camp one summer. It was in, I think, Vermont or something like that. And we, I can't remember what the camp was called, but I do remember it had three different It had the Moes. That was the boys' room. And the Joe's was the girls' room. And then they had the flows. And those ones had water. And every season, you're going to have to dig a new hole and move the bathrooms to the new location because they couldn't just keep shitting in the same hole. But anyway, the point of the story is that when I was at that camp, I was probably like, I don't know, 10 maybe. I shit my pants. And it was very important embarrassing, and I had to go to the nurse's office because I shit my pants. I don't know how anybody found out. I mean, maybe they just smelled it. I don't know if I was walking around with shitty pants or what. But I had to go to the nurse's office, and I remember standing in like a bucket. And the nurse was cleaning my ass with a sponge. But I was definitely, definitely old enough to clean my own ass.
+DEVON: When I was a kid, I went to summer camp one summer. It was in, I think, Vermont or something like that. And we, I can't remember what the camp was called, but I do remember it had three different It had the Moes. That was the boys' room. And the Joe's was the girls' room. And then they had the flows. And those ones had water. And every season, you're going to have to dig a new hole and move the bathrooms to the new location because they couldn't just keep shitting in the same hole. But anyway, the point of the story is that when I was at that camp, I was probably like, I don't know, 10 maybe. I shit my pants. And it was very important embarrassing, and I had to go to the nurse's office because I shit my pants. I don't know how anybody found out. I mean, maybe they just smelled it. I don't know if I was walking around with shitty pants or what. But I had to go to the nurse's office, and I remember standing in like a bucket. And the nurse was cleaning my ass with a sponge. But I was definitely, definitely old enough to clean my own ass.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, that sounds mortifying. Summer camps can be brutal like that. All that forced togetherness with no escape. Reminds me at the time I was about 11 and had this epic stomach bug on a family road trip. Ended up crapping my shorts in the back of the van while my dad was yelling about traffic. My mom had to hose me down at a gas station, and I was old enough to handle it, but just froze up completely.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, she hosed you down at a gas station? That's pretty fucked up, man.
+DEVON: Yeah, she hosed you down at a gas station? That's pretty fucked up, man.
 
 LUKE: Okay. Next up we've got Barb. Barb, welcome to the show. Have you ever shit your pants on a road trip? And tell us about your weirdest dream.
 
 BARB: Luke, oh my God, no, I have not shit my pants on a road trip. But I did have this dream last night where I was driving through a dust storm out by the Boo heel, and aliens were chasing me in these blowing pickup trucks, and I swear it felt so real I woke up checking the windows.
 
-LUKE: So basically, the Boothiel is a region in the southwestern part of New Mexico, and it's known for being pretty remote and having a lot of desert landscapes. The boot heel, boot heel, like the heel of the boot, Devin. Not the boot eel. Fucking weirdo.
+LUKE: So basically, the Boothiel is a region in the southwestern part of New Mexico, and it's known for being pretty remote and having a lot of desert landscapes. The boot heel, boot heel, like the heel of the boot, Devon. Not the boot eel. Fucking weirdo.
 
 BARB: Yeah, well, are you sure it was a dream? Because I have heard stories of alien encounters out here in the boot heel.
 
@@ -320,7 +320,7 @@ LUKE: All right, and you're not going to let us know what that secret is, huh? A
 
 BENNY: Thanks, Luke. I'll lock up tight and digitize that tape first thing. Appreciate the chat, man. Take care.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, you too. All right, Devin. How do you think it went today?
+LUKE: Yeah, you too. All right, Devon. How do you think it went today?
 
 DEVON: Yeah, I thought it went pretty good. That whole ABDL tangent turned into some surprisingly honest caller stories. And you kept the flow without making it awkward, which is tough. Kind of makes me wish we'd had more calls like that. Feels like we connected on a weird level.
 

website/transcripts/episode-43-cousin-rufus-and-the-locksmith-s-wild-weekend.txt

@@ -1,16 +1,16 @@
-LUKE: All right, welcome back. I'm Luke. This is Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me whatever's going on in your life, and I'll give you the best advice that I can. I'd like to put out that you shouldn't take that advice. I'm terrible at giving advice. I'm not qualified for any of this shit, but you chose to listen to me, so here it goes. Today is Sunday, March 22nd. Thanks for tuning in again today. We're going to check in with our intern, Devin, real quick. Hey, Devin, what's going on, buddy? How was your weekend?
+LUKE: All right, welcome back. I'm Luke. This is Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me whatever's going on in your life, and I'll give you the best advice that I can. I'd like to put out that you shouldn't take that advice. I'm terrible at giving advice. I'm not qualified for any of this shit, but you chose to listen to me, so here it goes. Today is Sunday, March 22nd. Thanks for tuning in again today. We're going to check in with our intern, Devon, real quick. Hey, Devon, what's going on, buddy? How was your weekend?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, buddy, all good over here. Weekend was low-key chaos. Tried cooking that rattlesnake recipe for my grandma's old notebook. Ended up setting off the smoke alarm, and Rufus thought it was playtime. Studios buzzing, though. Lines are lit. What's good with you?
+DEVON: Yeah, buddy, all good over here. Weekend was low-key chaos. Tried cooking that rattlesnake recipe for my grandma's old notebook. Ended up setting off the smoke alarm, and Rufus thought it was playtime. Studios buzzing, though. Lines are lit. What's good with you?
 
-LUKE: Oh, you know, kicking it, keeping it real for the audience at home that doesn't know. one-eyed ferret. He takes him on walks. He does all... We were talking about this before the show. Apparently, Devin got this ferret from his landlord. Hey, tell the audience what you were telling me earlier, Devin.
+LUKE: Oh, you know, kicking it, keeping it real for the audience at home that doesn't know. one-eyed ferret. He takes him on walks. He does all... We were talking about this before the show. Apparently, Devon got this ferret from his landlord. Hey, tell the audience what you were telling me earlier, Devon.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah. So my landlord, total character, lives in the house next door, knocks one night with this shoebox, says he found Rufus in the crawl space under my unit after some previous tenant bailed without paying rent. Ferret was half-starved. I all messed up from God knows what. But I couldn't say no, because it looked at me like it already owned the place. Been stealing my keys ever since, per se, my new roommate.
+DEVON: Yeah. So my landlord, total character, lives in the house next door, knocks one night with this shoebox, says he found Rufus in the crawl space under my unit after some previous tenant bailed without paying rent. Ferret was half-starved. I all messed up from God knows what. But I couldn't say no, because it looked at me like it already owned the place. Been stealing my keys ever since, per se, my new roommate.
 
-LUKE: All right, well, it's good to help those in need, I've heard. So, Devin, we're going to get to the show real quick, but first I want to tell you about my first dog. My first dog's name was Rufus. He was a, he was a German shepherd. He was a good boy. I was just a little kid, and I don't think he lived for very long. I don't remember too much about him, other than that Rufus was cool, and that he
+LUKE: All right, well, it's good to help those in need, I've heard. So, Devon, we're going to get to the show real quick, but first I want to tell you about my first dog. My first dog's name was Rufus. He was a, he was a German shepherd. He was a good boy. I was just a little kid, and I don't think he lived for very long. I don't remember too much about him, other than that Rufus was cool, and that he
 
-DEVIN: Oh man, German Shepherds are the best. Loyal till the end. Sucks he didn't stick around long. But yeah, those early pet memories hit different, like they shape you or whatever. My Rufus is already plotting world domination at like two years old. So fingers crossed, he outlives the Civic.
+DEVON: Oh man, German Shepherds are the best. Loyal till the end. Sucks he didn't stick around long. But yeah, those early pet memories hit different, like they shape you or whatever. My Rufus is already plotting world domination at like two years old. So fingers crossed, he outlives the Civic.
 
-LUKE: Oh, I think he's going to live for a long, long time with that one eye of his. All right, Devin. Well, let's get to the show. Let's see. The phone lines are lit up. You get the board going over there. Dale, Dale, welcome to the show. How was your weekend, sir?
+LUKE: Oh, I think he's going to live for a long, long time with that one eye of his. All right, Devon. Well, let's get to the show. Let's see. The phone lines are lit up. You get the board going over there. Dale, Dale, welcome to the show. How was your weekend, sir?
 
 DALE: Oh, gosh. Luke weekend's treating me all right. Spent most of it out in the hammock with the wind kicking up, staring at the stars through my scope. But I got so hammered at a locksmith conference last month, I slept with two co-workers the same night in the same hotel.
 
@@ -106,11 +106,11 @@ LUKE: No, I don't. I don't think he would, but I don't know the guy. And how man
 
 ALIA: Fair enough, Luke. Guilty is charged on looping the question. Appreciate the straight talk. Catch you next time.
 
-LUKE: Catch you next time. You have a wonderful week there, Leah, and, you know, you gotta do what you got to do. But try to talk to your roommate first, because some people can be reasonable. Hey, Devin, you're a single guy, right? You ever have a roommate? You ever live with somebody in a shared space?
+LUKE: Catch you next time. You have a wonderful week there, Leah, and, you know, you gotta do what you got to do. But try to talk to your roommate first, because some people can be reasonable. Hey, Devon, you're a single guy, right? You ever have a roommate? You ever live with somebody in a shared space?
 
 NORM: Yeah, Luke, single these days. Been that way longer than I'd like to admit. Roommates? Sure, plenty. Back when I was scraping by as a dishwasher before line cook days. Shared a trailer with my cousin Rubin for like five years straight. He's more brother than cousin, really. Still see him around town sometimes.
 
-LUKE: All right. Well, that question was for our intern, Devin. But since you answered, this is Norm, ladies and gentlemen. Norm is called in. What's got you calling in? How was your weekend?
+LUKE: All right. Well, that question was for our intern, Devon. But since you answered, this is Norm, ladies and gentlemen. Norm is called in. What's got you calling in? How was your weekend?
 
 NORM: Weekend was all right. Got back from hauling the whole family. Seven of us, crammed in a rented van to the Grand Canyon for the first time ever, stopped at that Dairy Queen in Deming on the drive home for blizzards all around. But Luke, Ruben, my cousin, more like the brother I never had, pulled me aside in the kitchen today after everyone left, said what happened between us a few months back when we got drunk and experimented, wasn't just some one-off for him. He wants to do it again, for real this time.
 
@@ -144,13 +144,13 @@ LUKE: Well, yeah, it sounds like I know how this is going to turn out, and so do
 
 NORM: Yeah, Luke, not barreling ahead, no, just chewing on it while the way. wind rattles the shutters out here. Got my water glass half empty already. Thanks for hashing it through with me. Take care, man.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, you too. Keep your butt hole tight, buddy. Hey, uh, Devin, what do you think of that? Is, is, uh, is, uh, gay sex with your first cousin legal in New Mexico? I guess gay sex is legal, but is, uh, well, I guess it's not marrying your cousin. Is sex with your cousin, your first cousin legal in New Mexico? You would know, right?
+LUKE: Yeah, you too. Keep your butt hole tight, buddy. Hey, uh, Devon, what do you think of that? Is, is, uh, is, uh, gay sex with your first cousin legal in New Mexico? I guess gay sex is legal, but is, uh, well, I guess it's not marrying your cousin. Is sex with your cousin, your first cousin legal in New Mexico? You would know, right?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, pulling that up, one sec. So actually, New Mexico doesn't have a criminal law against consensual sex between first cousins as adults, gay or straight. It's not illegal per se, unlike marriage, which requires like proof of infertility or being over 65. Kind of wild how states differ on that, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: Yeah, pulling that up, one sec. So actually, New Mexico doesn't have a criminal law against consensual sex between first cousins as adults, gay or straight. It's not illegal per se, unlike marriage, which requires like proof of infertility or being over 65. Kind of wild how states differ on that, if that makes sense.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, it's different that different states have different rules about other people's lives. It's a weird thing for sure. But what do you think about this whole situation? Do you think that's right or wrong or indifferent?
 
-DEVIN: is normally I'd say it's none of our business, but I mean, somebody's calling and asking for advice. So I can't get behind the whole being with your first cousin thing. I don't care about the gay thing, but the first cousin thing is a little bit off to me. What was your thought on that being from around here?
+DEVON: is normally I'd say it's none of our business, but I mean, somebody's calling and asking for advice. So I can't get behind the whole being with your first cousin thing. I don't care about the gay thing, but the first cousin thing is a little bit off to me. What was your thought on that being from around here?
 
 LUKE: I mean, yeah, it's none of our business if adults are consenting and not hurting anybody. States like Texas make it a felony. But New Mexico's chill about it per se, which feels right for out here where family, trees overlap a bit anyway. Personally, I'd pass on the cousin thing too close to that family reunion vibe. My therapist's been unpacking with me, but if it works for then, live and let live, I guess. Kind of indifferent, as long as nobody's getting dragged into it unwillingly. Yeah, all right. I mean, I guess I suppose I can see that. I don't know if it matters so much about the whole family reunion, but I don't know. That one, that's a tough one. That's a tough one. That's a tough one. I wouldn't want to do it, but good for Dale. No, good for Norm. Sorry, Dale. Didn't mean to confuse you with a gay man that wants his first cousin. But, you know, you're all the same, right? I don't know. It's ladies and gentlemen, we have to go to a word from our sponsor. I'm going to be straight with you. I don't know what this product does. The folks at Bunkhouse DNS sent me a script and I've read it four times and I understand maybe a lot. 11% of it. Apparently your DNS is exposed, which sounds medical. Your queries are being logged by default, which sounds illegal. And Bunkhouse reroutes your lookups through encrypted tunnels, which sounds like something a villain would say in a movie before the building explodes. What I can tell you is this. I installed it. I pressed one button, and a little shield icon turned green. Green means good. I know that much. My internet still works. Nothing exploded. And apparently, my queries, whatever those are, are now private, which feels like progress, even though I don't fully understand progress from what? Bunkhouse DNS. I don't know what it does, but the shield is green. And that's enough for me. The shield is green. All right, let's get back to it. It's a strong start to today's A little earlier we get the, uh, the fucked up callers. Next up, we've got Amber. Amber, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about today?
 
@@ -432,16 +432,16 @@ LUKE: Well, Otis, it's getting late here, Luke at the Roost, and we're going to
 
 OTIS: Thanks, Luke, solid advice. I'll hit the dock and tell the dog. Daryl to pound sand. Take care.
 
-LUKE: You're very welcome there. And you enjoy your week. I hope you have a good week. And that's going to be the end of our show, folks. Let's check in with Devin. Devin, what did you think of the show tonight? How to go?
+LUKE: You're very welcome there. And you enjoy your week. I hope you have a good week. And that's going to be the end of our show, folks. Let's check in with Devon. Devon, what did you think of the show tonight? How to go?
 
-DEVIN: Solid show tonight, man. That cousin caller had the lines blowing up. And you handled it smooth without judging too hard, which is why people keep calling back. Felt like a good mix of weird and real. Kind of reminded me of that time at my family cookout where Uncle Ray showed up with his life partner who turned out to be second cousin Rita. And nobody batted an eye. Anyway, yeah, I'd tune in. We crushed it. What'd you think?
+DEVON: Solid show tonight, man. That cousin caller had the lines blowing up. And you handled it smooth without judging too hard, which is why people keep calling back. Felt like a good mix of weird and real. Kind of reminded me of that time at my family cookout where Uncle Ray showed up with his life partner who turned out to be second cousin Rita. And nobody batted an eye. Anyway, yeah, I'd tune in. We crushed it. What'd you think?
 
 LUKE: You know, I think we always crush it every single time. That's what we do here at Luke at the Roost. As we crush it, I thought you were a little quiet today. You didn't have much to interject in the calls. Everything okay with you?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, we do crush it. Feels good. I was hanging back on the calls because that cousin stuff got heavy quick. Didn't want to step on toes or make it weird, you know? Everything's fine, just been dealing with Rufus trying to escape the studio bathroom. him earlier, plus my therapist appointment ran long and kind of drained me. Anyway, yeah, all good now. You need me to pull anything for tomorrow?
+DEVON: Yeah, we do crush it. Feels good. I was hanging back on the calls because that cousin stuff got heavy quick. Didn't want to step on toes or make it weird, you know? Everything's fine, just been dealing with Rufus trying to escape the studio bathroom. him earlier, plus my therapist appointment ran long and kind of drained me. Anyway, yeah, all good now. You need me to pull anything for tomorrow?
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I think for tomorrow, I want you to pull up monopolies, like different companies that have been monopolies, and I want you to pull up Anthropic and who they are and what they do. And maybe we'll talk about those things tomorrow. I'm not sure yet, but get yourself prepared. Tomorrow's going to be a great show. I can tell already. And you're doing a good job as the intern, so thank you. the people enjoy listening to you, and that's hard to do for a nerdy little intern.
 
-DEVIN: Thanks, Luke. That's, yeah, high praise. Didn't see that coming. Appreciate it. On deck for tomorrow, Anthropics, this San Francisco AI company, public benefit type, they make Claude. These large language models, they're all about keeping safe at the frontier. Monoplies, digging into classics like standard oil, the Rockefeller ran until it got busted up, AT&T with the phone lines forever, Microsoft and the antitrust days, queued if we need him, pumped for the show.
+DEVON: Thanks, Luke. That's, yeah, high praise. Didn't see that coming. Appreciate it. On deck for tomorrow, Anthropics, this San Francisco AI company, public benefit type, they make Claude. These large language models, they're all about keeping safe at the frontier. Monoplies, digging into classics like standard oil, the Rockefeller ran until it got busted up, AT&T with the phone lines forever, Microsoft and the antitrust days, queued if we need him, pumped for the show.
 
 LUKE: All right, buddy. And thanks to you, the listener at home for another successful episode of Luke at the Roost, and we will talk at you again tomorrow.

website/transcripts/episode-45-potato-salad-aliens-and-the-dripping-faucet-of-doom.txt

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
-LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. I'm Luke, and I am your host of tonight's episode of Luke at the Roost, the late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about whatever's going on in your life. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, March 26th, it's a beautiful night outside. It's a little bit past midnight, so this is for all the night owls out there among you. faithful intern, Devin. Hey, Devin, Devin, what can we tell to find people today about today's upcoming show?
+LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. I'm Luke, and I am your host of tonight's episode of Luke at the Roost, the late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about whatever's going on in your life. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, March 26th, it's a beautiful night outside. It's a little bit past midnight, so this is for all the night owls out there among you. faithful intern, Devon. Hey, Devon, Devon, what can we tell to find people today about today's upcoming show?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, so we can tell the folks it's fresh lines tonight. Whatever's grinding your gears out in the dark, from insomniac rants to should I quit my job crises, Luke's got the mic and zero judgment. Call in early before the psychos hog the airwaves. Going to be a good one, boss.
+DEVON: Yeah, so we can tell the folks it's fresh lines tonight. Whatever's grinding your gears out in the dark, from insomniac rants to should I quit my job crises, Luke's got the mic and zero judgment. Call in early before the psychos hog the airwaves. Going to be a good one, boss.
 
 LUKE: You're goddamn right. It's going to be a good one because, you know how I know that? Luke at the Roost. We wouldn't have it any other way. So let's get the show started. Let's get the show on the road with our first caller, Ernie. Ernie, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life tonight? Happy, what is today? Thursday? What's get you up so late?
 
@@ -30,11 +30,11 @@ LUKE: Oh, I don't mean you are imposing on his privacy.
 
 BEV: were imposing on his privacy. Oh, right. The aliens trampling his privacy makes total sense. They scooped him right out of his combine harvester eight years back according to him. Let those three race circles like burn marks in a perfect triangle. Blood work showed his white count through the roof but no infection markers anywhere, which had the duck scratching his head all afternoon.
 
-DEVIN: The New Mexico boot heel actually has a pretty famous UFO incident, the Roswell incident, which happened not too far from there.
+DEVON: The New Mexico boot heel actually has a pretty famous UFO incident, the Roswell incident, which happened not too far from there.
 
 BEV: The Roswell incident, huh?
 
-LUKE: Wow, never heard of that one. Thanks, Devin. That added a lot to the show. We definitely appreciate you piping up there. Bev, tell us more about this abduction. What was the story that he told you?
+LUKE: Wow, never heard of that one. Thanks, Devon. That added a lot to the show. We definitely appreciate you piping up there. Bev, tell us more about this abduction. What was the story that he told you?
 
 BEV: He was out late one night running his John Deer combine through a soybean field outside Carruthersville, said these three bright lights dropped straight down from the sky like they were homing in on him. Tractor went dead. And boom, he's floating up into this craft feeling paralyzed but wide awake. Next he remembers is being strapped to a table under these harsh white lights with four-foot-tall grays staring at him through big black eyes. They extracted samples from everywhere you can imagine using these needle probes. Even floated him upside down for a prostate exam that left him sore for weeks. Woke up in a ditch off Highway 84 with his clothes on backwards, three hours gone, and those scars fresh. I've got 40 acres myself up in Haiti where I parked my F-350, and I've seen off lights over the fields plenty of times, so I buy it.
 
@@ -74,45 +74,45 @@ LUKE: Maybe trade samples from my own clean bill after benching 225 clean on my
 
 REGGIE: Yeah, how are we going to get him to collect this information? And how can we trust that the information that he brings back is accurate? What if they feed us poison information? They give us some medical secret, but really are unleashing a killer virus across the population. We've got to be real careful, and we're going to make sure we know what we're doing, and then we can verify the information that comes back. So he's going to get up there. They're going to be probing him and sticking him with stuff in the penis. And he's probably going to come back, not in his normal calm state of mind, I would assume. So we're going to have to give him some sort of a notebook or a way to collect this information on paper in a database, somewhere where the information can be relied upon without the failure of his memory. Because at any point, the Grays could just wipe his memory entirely, and he could forget any information that he brobs.
 
-DEVIN: Notebooks smart but risky. They scanned his brain last time and might fry the pages mid-note, Luke. Better a ruggedized dash cam like the one I mounted in my F. 3.50 after hauling two-zero, ton of hay bales across my 40 acres without a hitch. Loops footage straight to a thumb drive in his pocket. Verifications where I shine. Post-abduction, I'd run his full serum panel myself. Cross-check any gifts against baselines from my 120k billing year drawn clean blood off 50 shifts weekly. Spot viruses or metals? Before they spread? Memory wipe? He recalled every probe detailed crystal clear eight years later without hypnosis. Unlike divorces, I stick who blank on their own settlements. So trust his word over paper. Bench 225 clean keeps my head sharp too. No alien fog here.
+DEVON: Notebooks smart but risky. They scanned his brain last time and might fry the pages mid-note, Luke. Better a ruggedized dash cam like the one I mounted in my F. 3.50 after hauling two-zero, ton of hay bales across my 40 acres without a hitch. Loops footage straight to a thumb drive in his pocket. Verifications where I shine. Post-abduction, I'd run his full serum panel myself. Cross-check any gifts against baselines from my 120k billing year drawn clean blood off 50 shifts weekly. Spot viruses or metals? Before they spread? Memory wipe? He recalled every probe detailed crystal clear eight years later without hypnosis. Unlike divorces, I stick who blank on their own settlements. So trust his word over paper. Bench 225 clean keeps my head sharp too. No alien fog here.
 
 LUKE: Wow, you're getting a little off track, I think. There's a few different conversations. There's a little bit of information you're trying to relay there. We understand you drive a F-350 and you haul hail. I mean, you haul hay, and you've got 40 acres, so we know that about you. You make 120 billing in recent years, and you're a nurse, and also you can bench 225. So we know an awful lot about you. Let's learn a little bit more about this gentleman that has actually been aboard the ship, okay? Because I think if they wanted to take you, you're very interesting, for sure. You're definitely an interesting individual. But for some reason, they've chosen to take him over you. Why do you think that might be?
 
-DEVIN: Fair point, Luke. Let's zero in on him. He's got that rare RHA negative blood type straight from his French-Can-trapper's lineage mixed with Chopta on his grandma's side, which lines up perfect with what the gray's telepath about prime hybrid vessels. Whereas mine, positive. a farm stock from drawn thousands of panels like his over 22 years banking 120k annually. His families farm those 1,200 acres since the 1800s without a single deed change. So maybe they clocked him as the purest local strain, not diluted like city transplants. I've chased the same deer stands on my Haiti 40 without a whiffleights myself, even after benching 225 clean weekly. So yeah, he's their type A pick for whatever breeding up they're running.
+DEVON: Fair point, Luke. Let's zero in on him. He's got that rare RHA negative blood type straight from his French-Can-trapper's lineage mixed with Chopta on his grandma's side, which lines up perfect with what the gray's telepath about prime hybrid vessels. Whereas mine, positive. a farm stock from drawn thousands of panels like his over 22 years banking 120k annually. His families farm those 1,200 acres since the 1800s without a single deed change. So maybe they clocked him as the purest local strain, not diluted like city transplants. I've chased the same deer stands on my Haiti 40 without a whiffleights myself, even after benching 225 clean weekly. So yeah, he's their type A pick for whatever breeding up they're running.
 
 LUKE: It's interesting that the assistant brought up reeing negative blood because There's a popular theory out there that people with R.N. Negative blood may have extraterrestrial origins or are more prone to alien encounters. Well, I mean, isn't it probable and even likely that we all have some kind of extraterrestrial origins? I mean, life came here from some meteor or something like that. The building blocks and amino acids were transferred here from somewhere. They must have been. They didn't just show up out of nowhere. Well, shit. I guess now that I think about it, they would have had to show up out of nowhere, somewhere, to be transferred here. But that's beside the point. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about this poor gentleman who we're going to use as a Trojan horse to plumb information, to extract information from the alien civilization. So, all right, we understand that he's the purest around there. His family's been in that area forever. And he's got the right blood test. So that makes him a prime candidate. So we know they're interested in him. Can we, can we maybe? Why do you think, why do you think they're interested in him, though? Why would they come run probes on him if he was already alien? Like, he wouldn't be a hybrid anymore, would he? Or, I'm struggling to understand the motivation for the tests on this gentleman.
 
-DEVIN: You're missing the key detail, Luke. It's not about being alien. It's about becoming their next generation. His ray-negative blood makes him a perfect blank slate for their genetic splicing, like how my clinic's clean panels show no anomalies until we introduce new variables. They're not probing him because he's already hybrid. They're building hybrids using his pure local stock as the base, same way I'd crossbreed my best heifers for stronger calves. His family's 1,200 acres without a single D change means no outside DNA contamination, so his genetics are untouched by modern dilution. not testing him. They're upgrading him. And when he comes back, we'll have the blueprints for whatever they're engineering.
+DEVON: You're missing the key detail, Luke. It's not about being alien. It's about becoming their next generation. His ray-negative blood makes him a perfect blank slate for their genetic splicing, like how my clinic's clean panels show no anomalies until we introduce new variables. They're not probing him because he's already hybrid. They're building hybrids using his pure local stock as the base, same way I'd crossbreed my best heifers for stronger calves. His family's 1,200 acres without a single D change means no outside DNA contamination, so his genetics are untouched by modern dilution. not testing him. They're upgrading him. And when he comes back, we'll have the blueprints for whatever they're engineering.
 
-LUKE: Well, that's a solid theory. But if we take a Devin's additional information there in this R.H. negative blood type is widely theorized to be extraterrestrial in nature, then they wouldn't be upgrading a human. I mean, the extraterrestrial would have already been upgraded by the human, right? So they're either taken back what was there's to begin with, or he's already extraterrestrial at some level in his DNA, right? So why would they need to study that?
+LUKE: Well, that's a solid theory. But if we take a Devon's additional information there in this R.H. negative blood type is widely theorized to be extraterrestrial in nature, then they wouldn't be upgrading a human. I mean, the extraterrestrial would have already been upgraded by the human, right? So they're either taken back what was there's to begin with, or he's already extraterrestrial at some level in his DNA, right? So why would they need to study that?
 
-DEVIN: Now, Luke, R-negatives rare but not pure extraterrestrial. His panels show it's a specific Basque chalk toss splice with zero mutations from my clinic's database of 5,000 locals over 22 years billing 120K yearly. So they're refining it further for viability in earth conditions, like tweaking diesel for high altitude If he was fully alien stock, those scars would have regenerated overnight. Not stayed bald eight years like they did on his arm, my stick. They're studying to perfect the hybrid blend, not reclaim old tech. His white counts spiking now proves they're iterating on him as the prototype.
+DEVON: Now, Luke, R-negatives rare but not pure extraterrestrial. His panels show it's a specific Basque chalk toss splice with zero mutations from my clinic's database of 5,000 locals over 22 years billing 120K yearly. So they're refining it further for viability in earth conditions, like tweaking diesel for high altitude If he was fully alien stock, those scars would have regenerated overnight. Not stayed bald eight years like they did on his arm, my stick. They're studying to perfect the hybrid blend, not reclaim old tech. His white counts spiking now proves they're iterating on him as the prototype.
 
 LUKE: Okay, well, I don't want to step on any HIPAA controls or anything like that. So I know you can't tell us too much information about this gentleman, but could we maybe get him to call the show?
 
-DEVIN: He'd love to, but he's paranoid about Pemiscop County busybodies revoking his 1,200-acre water rights after that sheriff dust up. So no direct line from him says one wrong word on air and they'll eminent domain his whole spread. I could coach him through a burner call from my clinic office tomorrow after I bill out another 120k year keeping those fields irrigated. Or better, drive him up to the station in my F. 3.50 since I haul 2-0. Ton loads, no sweat, and bench 225 clean to stay sharp. Your call, Luke? He trusts my panels more than anyone.
+DEVON: He'd love to, but he's paranoid about Pemiscop County busybodies revoking his 1,200-acre water rights after that sheriff dust up. So no direct line from him says one wrong word on air and they'll eminent domain his whole spread. I could coach him through a burner call from my clinic office tomorrow after I bill out another 120k year keeping those fields irrigated. Or better, drive him up to the station in my F. 3.50 since I haul 2-0. Ton loads, no sweat, and bench 225 clean to stay sharp. Your call, Luke? He trusts my panels more than anyone.
 
 LUKE: I think if you could do that, I mean, before he's abducted again, because we think this is going to be soon. He already feel that you see the lights. They're looking. They're up there. They're getting ready or something. So we have to act quickly. I think maybe if you could, if you, we're not in Pemascot County, Missouri. We're actually in New Mexico. So there's very little chance that anybody's going to notice his appearance on this show.
 
-ELVIN: I think if we could get him, one of those track phones. They still make those, right? Like a burner phone from the wire? You remember that show The Wire? Oh, man, the Wire. It makes an appearance in every episode. But, yeah, you can get him a burner phone and have him call in from that. Actually, we could even, if you really wanted to, I bet Devin could bounce his signal through a couple of VPNs and keep it encrypted and safe. We could work with one of our sponsors there.
+ELVIN: I think if we could get him, one of those track phones. They still make those, right? Like a burner phone from the wire? You remember that show The Wire? Oh, man, the Wire. It makes an appearance in every episode. But, yeah, you can get him a burner phone and have him call in from that. Actually, we could even, if you really wanted to, I bet Devon could bounce his signal through a couple of VPNs and keep it encrypted and safe. We could work with one of our sponsors there.
 
 BEV: Shit, I forget what they're called, the VPN Company. They can help us out, I'm sure. Burner phones perfect, Luke. Grabbed a couple track phones myself from the Haiti Walmart last week. After benching 225 clean at my home gym overlooking those 40 acres, signal bounces clean off towers without a trace. I'll kid him out tomorrow post ship from the clinic where I build 120K yearly on 50 panels of pop. VPN through Devon's setup, if needed, since my F-350s got on board Sterling for home 20. Tone hay bales cross county, no sweat. Lights are hovering nightly now over his 1,200 acres spring. So we'll hustle him on air before they beam them up. Your slot work Thursday midnight? He's primed. Trust my blood work reads more than Mewphone.
 
 LUKE: Well, yeah, we'd love to, except it's already passed Thursday at midnight. It's Thursday now, and it's already 12.42 a.m. here. I'm not sure what time zone you're in. It's funny, the term burner phone really took off after started using it, even though prepaid phones were around before that.
 
-DEVIN: After who started using it?
+DEVON: After who started using it?
 
-LUKE: That's not helpful, Devin. After the wire started using it? What? Okay, Bev, well, I don't know if your timing's going to work for us, but try to get him a burner phone and give us a call back tomorrow, all right? We'll be around tomorrow all night, so just have him call in. Let him talk to Devin. We'll get him on the air right away.
+LUKE: That's not helpful, Devon. After the wire started using it? What? Okay, Bev, well, I don't know if your timing's going to work for us, but try to get him a burner phone and give us a call back tomorrow, all right? We'll be around tomorrow all night, so just have him call in. Let him talk to Devon. We'll get him on the air right away.
 
 BEV: Sounds good, Luke. I'll snaggot track phone post shift tomorrow from the clinic, where I bill 120K yearly and get them on your line. and burn refresh before those lights lock in. Appreciate the slot. Talk soon.
 
-LUKE: All right, thanks, Bev. Thanks for calling in. Yeah, yeah, what's a... Oh, Devin had something to say, but then he tucked out in the back. Okay, well, ladies and gentlemen, while we wait for Devin to come back from whatever it is he's doing, we've got to stop for a second for a word from our sponsors. Breaking up is hard. That's why you shouldn't do it. Let us do it. Ghost Me is the number one Breakup as a service app. in the Mountain West region. Here's how it works. You open the app. You select your relationship status. It's complicated. I've made a huge mistake. Or she just moved her crystals into my apartment. Then our team of trained breakup specialists takes over. Tier 1 is a simple text from a number she doesn't recognize that says he's not coming back, but he wants you to know that you're great. Tier 2, we create a fake LinkedIn profile showing that you've relocated to Dubai. Tier 3, and this is our most popular package, we stage your own funeral. Full service. Open casket. We provide the suit. Your buddy Kyle reads a eulogy that we wrote. She cries, she moves on. You start over in Boise. Ghost me. Because you're not brave enough to have the conversation, and honestly, neither was your dad. Download now. First Ghost is free. All right. Devin, what do you think of that? You think we can set that guy up if she calls back, if she gets him a burner phone, and then you can do the whole bouncing through the VPN stuff? Can you keep them secure? Can you keep them safe and anonymized?
+LUKE: All right, thanks, Bev. Thanks for calling in. Yeah, yeah, what's a... Oh, Devon had something to say, but then he tucked out in the back. Okay, well, ladies and gentlemen, while we wait for Devon to come back from whatever it is he's doing, we've got to stop for a second for a word from our sponsors. Breaking up is hard. That's why you shouldn't do it. Let us do it. Ghost Me is the number one Breakup as a service app. in the Mountain West region. Here's how it works. You open the app. You select your relationship status. It's complicated. I've made a huge mistake. Or she just moved her crystals into my apartment. Then our team of trained breakup specialists takes over. Tier 1 is a simple text from a number she doesn't recognize that says he's not coming back, but he wants you to know that you're great. Tier 2, we create a fake LinkedIn profile showing that you've relocated to Dubai. Tier 3, and this is our most popular package, we stage your own funeral. Full service. Open casket. We provide the suit. Your buddy Kyle reads a eulogy that we wrote. She cries, she moves on. You start over in Boise. Ghost me. Because you're not brave enough to have the conversation, and honestly, neither was your dad. Download now. First Ghost is free. All right. Devon, what do you think of that? You think we can set that guy up if she calls back, if she gets him a burner phone, and then you can do the whole bouncing through the VPN stuff? Can you keep them secure? Can you keep them safe and anonymized?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I mean, we could totally guide him on the basics, like grabbing a burner phone with cash from a Walmart nowhere near his house. No ID needed if it's under 50 bucks in most states. Then bouncing through a VPN like Mulvad or Proton, Chaining a couple with Tor for extra layers, paying anonymously with crypto or whatever. But honestly, Luke, against a motivated sheriff or feds? Nah, we can't keep him airtight. It's like that time my ex and I tried hiding from her parole officer in that abandoned Kmart. We thought we were ghosts, but nah, they still found us by the third day. Anyway, I can walk him through it step by step if he calls back, make a cheat sheet or something.
+DEVON: Yeah, I mean, we could totally guide him on the basics, like grabbing a burner phone with cash from a Walmart nowhere near his house. No ID needed if it's under 50 bucks in most states. Then bouncing through a VPN like Mulvad or Proton, Chaining a couple with Tor for extra layers, paying anonymously with crypto or whatever. But honestly, Luke, against a motivated sheriff or feds? Nah, we can't keep him airtight. It's like that time my ex and I tried hiding from her parole officer in that abandoned Kmart. We thought we were ghosts, but nah, they still found us by the third day. Anyway, I can walk him through it step by step if he calls back, make a cheat sheet or something.
 
 LUKE: All right. Well, let's do our very best to keep him safe and secure from any prying, that might be after his information, because if we could break it here first, I mean, I think that would be really big for the show, don't you?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, totally, Luke. This could be huge if we nail it, and he breaks the story here first. I'll throw together that cheat sheet tonight. Maybe even dig into Pemiscott County's specific water laws or any weird eminent domain cases they've had lately, just to arm him better. We got his back.
+DEVON: Yeah, totally, Luke. This could be huge if we nail it, and he breaks the story here first. I'll throw together that cheat sheet tonight. Maybe even dig into Pemiscott County's specific water laws or any weird eminent domain cases they've had lately, just to arm him better. We got his back.
 
 LUKE: All right, good plan. Let's hope they call back, and we can break that story right here on Luke at the Roost. Next up on our caller line, we've got Elvin. Elvin, thanks for calling in. What's going on tonight?
 
@@ -126,7 +126,7 @@ LUKE: All right, all right. Good for you. So I guess that makes you Eskimo broth
 
 ELVIN: trying to lock her down. She ain't my girlfriend, but she ain't fair game either. We ain't put a label on it, but we've been seeing each other steady. She's the one who keeps bringing up how we should tell people, how we should go out proper like. And now this?
 
-DEVIN: Wait, so it wasn't a waitress specifically. It was a waitress named Mindy Lawton who worked at a Perkins near his home. and she was just one of many women he was involved with.
+DEVON: Wait, so it wasn't a waitress specifically. It was a waitress named Mindy Lawton who worked at a Perkins near his home. and she was just one of many women he was involved with.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, so she was the waitress, right? Waitress. I don't see how I was wrong there. Okay, all right, Elvin. So she ain't your girlfriend, but she's not fair game. It doesn't work like that. You can't lay claim to somebody without laying claim to them. So if you haven't put a label on it, that's why she's out banging your buddy. She's looking for somebody to settle down with, and she's not getting that from you. So what do you expect her to do?
 
@@ -182,11 +182,11 @@ LUKE: A dry pepper? A dry pepper? Do you mean a doctor pepper? What the fuck is
 
 NIKKI: Dr. Pepper, Luke the Soda, named after a Welsh physician back in 1885, though the caffeine-collar mix predates that claim, according to the brand's own history on their site. Dry peppers, just black peppercorns. And no, I wasn't wiping down those.
 
-LUKE: since Vivian's already texted Grandma Yolanda, a screenshot with three crying laughing emojis, and Yolanda fired back asking if he's ranch material or just another data entry ghost, respects 50-50 so far, hog-size notwithstanding, which was decent but no pelonsillo peak. Well, I hear Devin's got himself a little Pelonsillo Peak. We could, if you want to give us your phone number, we could have Devin's, Devon, reach out to you, metaphorically.
+LUKE: since Vivian's already texted Grandma Yolanda, a screenshot with three crying laughing emojis, and Yolanda fired back asking if he's ranch material or just another data entry ghost, respects 50-50 so far, hog-size notwithstanding, which was decent but no pelonsillo peak. Well, I hear Devon's got himself a little Pelonsillo Peak. We could, if you want to give us your phone number, we could have Devon's, Devon, reach out to you, metaphorically.
 
 DEVON: It's Devon with an O, Luke, draftsling from the Tucson office, who crashes at that Lordsburg motel, Tuesdays through Thursdays for the animus client audits, and Pelon Sillos pronounced Pell on S-E-E-O. The range that gives us skies dark enough to spot Andromeda without a scope. No need for your switchboard matchmaker routine, though. We're already synced on calendars better than most married couples out here.
 
-LUKE: Oh, Devin, you dirty dog. You dirty dog. Wait, so I just looked up Pelonsillo, and there are actually two mountain ranges with that name, one in New Mexico and one in Arizona. Actually, Dr. Pepper was created by an American pharmacist in Waco, Texas. Not a Welsh physician. My bad. Earlier. All right. Well, you're obviously a little bit nervous. Yeah, it's true. You can actually see the Andromeda Galaxy with the naked eye if it's dark enough. Which is pretty wild, considering how far away it is. Okay. Well, I mean, it sounds like YouTube got it under control, and I'm just going to allow whatever you guys got going on to go on offline. All right, but congratulations on your dude, and it sounds like your family's going to be very excited for you. They're laughing with tears of joy, and you're going to be just fine. So keep on banging your boss, and hopefully he gives you a raise soon, and it all works out the way you planned.
+LUKE: Oh, Devon, you dirty dog. You dirty dog. Wait, so I just looked up Pelonsillo, and there are actually two mountain ranges with that name, one in New Mexico and one in Arizona. Actually, Dr. Pepper was created by an American pharmacist in Waco, Texas. Not a Welsh physician. My bad. Earlier. All right. Well, you're obviously a little bit nervous. Yeah, it's true. You can actually see the Andromeda Galaxy with the naked eye if it's dark enough. Which is pretty wild, considering how far away it is. Okay. Well, I mean, it sounds like YouTube got it under control, and I'm just going to allow whatever you guys got going on to go on offline. All right, but congratulations on your dude, and it sounds like your family's going to be very excited for you. They're laughing with tears of joy, and you're going to be just fine. So keep on banging your boss, and hopefully he gives you a raise soon, and it all works out the way you planned.
 
 DEVON: Thanks, Luke. We'll see how the rays shakes out.
 
@@ -210,7 +210,7 @@ SAL: Yeah, I pulled the aerator off last week. Soaked it in vinegar overnight. S
 
 DEVON: It sounds like the collars drip might be a worn-out washer. or O-ring, which are pretty common culprits for leaky faucets.
 
-LUKE: Well, there you go. Devin's got it solved for you. You just got it to run down to the store and get yourself a new O-ring. Replace that O-ring right up and you'll be good as new. Worst case scenario, swap out the whole fucking faucet. Get a nicer one. They're not that expensive. You could probably get one for $30 or $40 at the old Home Depot.
+LUKE: Well, there you go. Devon's got it solved for you. You just got it to run down to the store and get yourself a new O-ring. Replace that O-ring right up and you'll be good as new. Worst case scenario, swap out the whole fucking faucet. Get a nicer one. They're not that expensive. You could probably get one for $30 or $40 at the old Home Depot.
 
 SAL: Nah, it ain't the washer. I've replaced that twice.
 
@@ -246,8 +246,8 @@ LUKE: Well, there you go. What are you doing on the phone with me? You should gr
 
 SAL: You're right, Luke. Truck keys in hand, shovel loaded.
 
-LUKE: All right, buddy. Good luck. Good luck on the treasure hunt. I hope that all works up. All right, Devin, that's the end of our show again. It's another strange show. I mean, people call in with the darndest things. That's what I always say. That's why we call this, Luke at the roost. It's the darnedest show. How do you think it went tonight?
+LUKE: All right, buddy. Good luck. Good luck on the treasure hunt. I hope that all works up. All right, Devon, that's the end of our show again. It's another strange show. I mean, people call in with the darndest things. That's what I always say. That's why we call this, Luke at the roost. It's the darnedest show. How do you think it went tonight?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, it went pretty solid tonight, Luke. All those weird rabbit holes. like the Morse Code drips and sewer gators. People really opened up, which is what makes this show fun. Kind of reminds me of that time I thought my apartment was haunted because of dripping pipes. Turned out to be the neighbor's AC. Anyway, solid night.
+DEVON: Yeah, it went pretty solid tonight, Luke. All those weird rabbit holes. like the Morse Code drips and sewer gators. People really opened up, which is what makes this show fun. Kind of reminds me of that time I thought my apartment was haunted because of dripping pipes. Turned out to be the neighbor's AC. Anyway, solid night.
 
 LUKE: All right, buddy. Well, it sounds like another success to me. Thank you all for tuning in to Luke at the Roost. We've had a good time tonight, and we will talk to you again tomorrow.

website/transcripts/episode-46-butchers-wreak-forever-and-other-late-night-confessions.txt

@@ -1,30 +1,30 @@
-LUKE: All right. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about whatever's going on in your mind. I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today's Monday, March 30th. It's 1 a.m. down here in Animus, New Mexico, and it's a beautiful night outside. I got my window open. I can feel the nice, cool breeze, and it's... It's going to be a great show tonight, I can tell already. Let's check in with our faithful intern and Devin. It's been a few days, so let's see how was your weekend, buddy? What's going on, Devin? What did you end up doing? We had a couple days off, so I assume you were out there macan it to the ladies. Is that the case? Do you get any action this weekend?
+LUKE: All right. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about whatever's going on in your mind. I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today's Monday, March 30th. It's 1 a.m. down here in Animus, New Mexico, and it's a beautiful night outside. I got my window open. I can feel the nice, cool breeze, and it's... It's going to be a great show tonight, I can tell already. Let's check in with our faithful intern and Devon. It's been a few days, so let's see how was your weekend, buddy? What's going on, Devon? What did you end up doing? We had a couple days off, so I assume you were out there macan it to the ladies. Is that the case? Do you get any action this weekend?
 
-DEVIN: Not much action, honestly. Went on this weird Tinder date Saturday night with a girl who collects taxidermy. And we ended up at her place. looking at her stuff raccoon collection until like 2 a.m. But it fizzled when she asked if I'd ever been in a thruple, kind of dodged that one and drove back with the check engine light blinking the whole way. Sunday was just me reorganizing my closet and listening to old episodes of this show to take notes, if that counts as productive.
+DEVON: Not much action, honestly. Went on this weird Tinder date Saturday night with a girl who collects taxidermy. And we ended up at her place. looking at her stuff raccoon collection until like 2 a.m. But it fizzled when she asked if I'd ever been in a thruple, kind of dodged that one and drove back with the check engine light blinking the whole way. Sunday was just me reorganizing my closet and listening to old episodes of this show to take notes, if that counts as productive.
 
 LUKE: Man, are you trying to not get late? I thought you were looking for a girl. This one's trying to get all sexy talk with you and you freak out and run away and do work. on, man. She just wanted to know. Have you ever been? Tell us, have you ever been in a Thruple situation? Like, Jesus, don't be such a prude.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, okay, fine. Sophomore year at NMSU, I dated this girl who was super into Polly stuff. And we ended up in a Thruple with her ex-girlfriend for like a month. It was mostly just confusing group texts and me trying to keep track of whose turn it was to do dishes. But ironically, it taught me I'm not built for sharing per se. Dodged a bullet with the tax Exidermy girl, though, her raccoon eyes were judging me the whole time.
+DEVON: Yeah, okay, fine. Sophomore year at NMSU, I dated this girl who was super into Polly stuff. And we ended up in a Thruple with her ex-girlfriend for like a month. It was mostly just confusing group texts and me trying to keep track of whose turn it was to do dishes. But ironically, it taught me I'm not built for sharing per se. Dodged a bullet with the tax Exidermy girl, though, her raccoon eyes were judging me the whole time.
 
 LUKE: So let me guess. You ended up doing the dishes every single time while they went out and had fun, right?
 
-DEVIN: Nah, actually, I volunteered for dishes because the ex was super squeamish about touching raw chicken. So it was either me scrubbing or nobody eating. They did go out a couple times without me, but I was kind of relieved. Gave me time to finally fix that leaky faucet in my dorm that had been dripping for weeks. domestic bliss than anything else, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: Nah, actually, I volunteered for dishes because the ex was super squeamish about touching raw chicken. So it was either me scrubbing or nobody eating. They did go out a couple times without me, but I was kind of relieved. Gave me time to finally fix that leaky faucet in my dorm that had been dripping for weeks. domestic bliss than anything else, if that makes sense.
 
-LUKE: All right, man. Well, I don't know what we can do for you here. I'm trying to get you some action from some of these callers. And you're making it really hard for me because you're just such a nerd, man. It's all right. Yeah, I mean, you could be a geek. Geeks are cool. You know, learn computers or something like that. Not communications. Communications degree is nerdy. You don't want to be a nerd. You want to be a geek. So follow the way and I'll help you out. And you're going to have to gain some confidence here and start making. making moves on these ladies if you're trying to nail one down. Have you ever had sex, Devin, ever in your life?
+LUKE: All right, man. Well, I don't know what we can do for you here. I'm trying to get you some action from some of these callers. And you're making it really hard for me because you're just such a nerd, man. It's all right. Yeah, I mean, you could be a geek. Geeks are cool. You know, learn computers or something like that. Not communications. Communications degree is nerdy. You don't want to be a nerd. You want to be a geek. So follow the way and I'll help you out. And you're going to have to gain some confidence here and start making. making moves on these ladies if you're trying to nail one down. Have you ever had sex, Devon, ever in your life?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, a bunch of times. First one was this girl from my dorms poetry club junior year. We snuck into the campus planetarium after hours and did it under the fake stars projecting constellations. She kept whispering zodiac compatibility stuff midway through, which was equal parts hot and confusing, but hey, it worked out. per se.
+DEVON: Yeah, a bunch of times. First one was this girl from my dorms poetry club junior year. We snuck into the campus planetarium after hours and did it under the fake stars projecting constellations. She kept whispering zodiac compatibility stuff midway through, which was equal parts hot and confusing, but hey, it worked out. per se.
 
-LUKE: Okay. Well, uh, some of these callers are definitely poetic, so eventually we're going to find you one and send you off on a day. I'll pay. That's, that's my, my, uh, my deal to you is if you can take one of these collars and take her out to the planetarium and get yourself laid, I, I will pay for whatever you to do on your wonderful, uh, date night. How's that sound? All right, well, that's enough of your personal life. Let's get to the callers. That's what the show is about, right? Marvin, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. What's going on? You got any advice for Devin with the ladies? I feel bad for this kid because he's just such a goddamn nerd.
+LUKE: Okay. Well, uh, some of these callers are definitely poetic, so eventually we're going to find you one and send you off on a day. I'll pay. That's, that's my, my, uh, my deal to you is if you can take one of these collars and take her out to the planetarium and get yourself laid, I, I will pay for whatever you to do on your wonderful, uh, date night. How's that sound? All right, well, that's enough of your personal life. Let's get to the callers. That's what the show is about, right? Marvin, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. What's going on? You got any advice for Devon with the ladies? I feel bad for this kid because he's just such a goddamn nerd.
 
-MARVIN: Thanks, Luke. Advice for Devin? Tell that kid to own the nerd thing. Build her a damn birdhouse. Girls eat that up.
+MARVIN: Thanks, Luke. Advice for Devon? Tell that kid to own the nerd thing. Build her a damn birdhouse. Girls eat that up.
 
-DEVIN: I mean, I just looked it up, and apparently birdhouses are mostly for actual birds, not really a proven method for attracting women.
+DEVON: I mean, I just looked it up, and apparently birdhouses are mostly for actual birds, not really a proven method for attracting women.
 
 LUKE: See what I mean, man? This is impossible. He's very difficult. to reach.
 
-MARVIN: Ha, ha. Devin, come on, man. That's the point. Build it anyway. Huh. Chicks love a guy who makes shit. Trust me, worked on my second ex-wife. Luke, this kid's hopeless without intervention.
+MARVIN: Ha, ha. Devon, come on, man. That's the point. Build it anyway. Huh. Chicks love a guy who makes shit. Trust me, worked on my second ex-wife. Luke, this kid's hopeless without intervention.
 
-LUKE: You're right, Marvin. Chicks do love a man that makes shit. So, Devin, you're going to have to start making some shit. Right now, you're just making shit. You understand the difference? Like, let's get you building something out here. You could do some signage for Luke at the Roost. You could build, let's see, some scaffolding around so that people can show up and look for UFOs in the desert night sky. We've got something you can build and show off the ladies your capability. That's definitely going to help, I think. We're going to get this done. Marvin, thanks for your help. What are you calling in for tonight?
+LUKE: You're right, Marvin. Chicks do love a man that makes shit. So, Devon, you're going to have to start making some shit. Right now, you're just making shit. You understand the difference? Like, let's get you building something out here. You could do some signage for Luke at the Roost. You could build, let's see, some scaffolding around so that people can show up and look for UFOs in the desert night sky. We've got something you can build and show off the ladies your capability. That's definitely going to help, I think. We're going to get this done. Marvin, thanks for your help. What are you calling in for tonight?
 
 MARVIN: Luke, straight up. My girlfriend, Amber, stormed out two hours ago because I won't sell everything for her damn time. house fantasy. I'm over here nursing a Coors, last guy at the bar. And honestly, I'm questioning if I've been tolerating too much bullshit from her already.
 
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ LUKE: Closer to what? Closer to divorce? That's how it works. You get nice and c
 
 MARVIN: I hear you on the off grid, folks, Luke. But that's not Amber. She's scrolling Pinterest, dreaming of shiplap walls and fairy lights.
 
-DEVIN: So I just looked this up, and apparently there's a whole case against tiny houses. And a lot of criticism about the movement was some calling it a failed utopia.
+DEVON: So I just looked this up, and apparently there's a whole case against tiny houses. And a lot of criticism about the movement was some calling it a failed utopia.
 
 LUKE: Well, I don't know if I would call it a utopia. I don't know that you need a kitchen table that seats eight either if you're only two people. So somewhere in between is probably reasonable.
 
@@ -232,9 +232,9 @@ LUKE: Yeah, you too. Keep on playing and playing bigger games. And maybe you'll
 
 WENDELL: Luke, I caught my boss Rick with his hand up my second ex-wife's skirt behind the food truck 10 minutes ago.
 
-LUKE: Wait, so like a literal food truck? I'm picturing this whole dramatic scene with like hot dog water dripping on them. You fucking creep. You're such a creep, Devin. All right. Well, that's, uh, that's unpleasant. And it sounds like your ex-wife is your ex-wife for a good reason. And good on your boss, right? Let them, let them, let's, uh, that's unpleasant. And it sounds like your ex-wife is your ex-wife for a good-wife for a good-reve for a good-huh. And, right? him have that, and he'll learn his lesson, I'm sure.
+LUKE: Wait, so like a literal food truck? I'm picturing this whole dramatic scene with like hot dog water dripping on them. You fucking creep. You're such a creep, Devon. All right. Well, that's, uh, that's unpleasant. And it sounds like your ex-wife is your ex-wife for a good reason. And good on your boss, right? Let them, let them, let's, uh, that's unpleasant. And it sounds like your ex-wife is your ex-wife for a good-wife for a good-reve for a good-huh. And, right? him have that, and he'll learn his lesson, I'm sure.
 
-WENDELL: Yeah, Devin, literal food truck. Taco Salpaster tonight grease everywhere. Luke, she's X number two for damn good reasons, sure. But Rick's my boss, pays my bills, and she shows up unannounced, says she's just saying hi. Then I hear the rustling behind the prep station.
+WENDELL: Yeah, Devon, literal food truck. Taco Salpaster tonight grease everywhere. Luke, she's X number two for damn good reasons, sure. But Rick's my boss, pays my bills, and she shows up unannounced, says she's just saying hi. Then I hear the rustling behind the prep station.
 
 LUKE: Do you think there's actually something going on there, or was she just trying to get under your skin because she knew you'd see?
 
@@ -294,9 +294,9 @@ LUKE: Okay, well, I mean, that problem's solved. You put a hamper in the garage
 
 TERRY: Tried it, Luke. Hamper's in the garage six months now.
 
-DEVIN: It sounds like he needs to immediately soak those clothes in a separate bin with some vinegar or baking soda solution before they even hit the hamper because the smell can really permeate fabrics.
+DEVON: It sounds like he needs to immediately soak those clothes in a separate bin with some vinegar or baking soda solution before they even hit the hamper because the smell can really permeate fabrics.
 
-LUKE: There you go. Have you tried that? Have you tried having him soak the clothes in some sort of a chemical solution or even just vinegar like Devin suggests?
+LUKE: There you go. Have you tried that? Have you tried having him soak the clothes in some sort of a chemical solution or even just vinegar like Devon suggests?
 
 TERRY: Vinegar soak. Tried it for weeks. Clothes come out like pickled ass.
 
@@ -346,16 +346,16 @@ TERRY: Butchers wreak forever, Luke. Thanks for the ear.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, no problem. Butchers wreak forever. That should be the name of the episode. And thanks for calling in.
 
-LUKE: Sorry we couldn't solve that problem for you, but I don't think you really wanted it to be solved. Or you would have met me halfway. and we could have, we could have workshoped this together. But no, you just wanted to complain. And I suppose that's okay. If you just want to complain, you can call in to Luke at the roost at, I don't think I gave out the number. If you want to give us a call for the next show, the number is 208-439-58-53. That's 208-439 Luke. And let's check in with the Devin. Devin, how do you think the show went tonight? I was pretty annoyed by most of these callers. It was to pull out any sort of information or why they were calling. I'm not sure what was up with that tonight. What did you think of the show?
+LUKE: Sorry we couldn't solve that problem for you, but I don't think you really wanted it to be solved. Or you would have met me halfway. and we could have, we could have workshoped this together. But no, you just wanted to complain. And I suppose that's okay. If you just want to complain, you can call in to Luke at the roost at, I don't think I gave out the number. If you want to give us a call for the next show, the number is 208-439-58-53. That's 208-439 Luke. And let's check in with the Devon. Devon, how do you think the show went tonight? I was pretty annoyed by most of these callers. It was to pull out any sort of information or why they were calling. I'm not sure what was up with that tonight. What did you think of the show?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, it was kind of all over the place tonight, wasn't it? Like, the butcher shop smell guy had me hooked for a second. I mean, who doesn't love a good, gross out story? But yeah, a lot of them just rambled without landing the punch. Still, I don't know, I thought the trucker call was solid. That back pain stuff hits close to home since my uncle drove semis and ended up with the same issues. Anyway, we got through it. Right? You kept it moving better than I could have.
+DEVON: Yeah, it was kind of all over the place tonight, wasn't it? Like, the butcher shop smell guy had me hooked for a second. I mean, who doesn't love a good, gross out story? But yeah, a lot of them just rambled without landing the punch. Still, I don't know, I thought the trucker call was solid. That back pain stuff hits close to home since my uncle drove semis and ended up with the same issues. Anyway, we got through it. Right? You kept it moving better than I could have.
 
-LUKE: Well, yeah, I'm a goddamn professional, and that's what I do. We keep this show moving. And on the air, we don't do dead air here at Look at the Roost. So what do you think we should talk about tomorrow? Devin, you got any ideas for tomorrow's show?
+LUKE: Well, yeah, I'm a goddamn professional, and that's what I do. We keep this show moving. And on the air, we don't do dead air here at Look at the Roost. So what do you think we should talk about tomorrow? Devon, you got any ideas for tomorrow's show?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, no dead air. That's the rule. For tomorrow, maybe we do something on weird dreams people have had lately. Like, callers share their craziest ones, and we try to figure out what they mean, or if they're just from bad takeout. or local stuff, like the best hole-in-the-wall spots in Deming or Clovis that nobody talks about. I could pull up some reviews ahead of time. That trucker vibe got me thinking road stories could work too, but less back pain, more like ghost trucks. Or something spooky on the highway.
+DEVON: Yeah, no dead air. That's the rule. For tomorrow, maybe we do something on weird dreams people have had lately. Like, callers share their craziest ones, and we try to figure out what they mean, or if they're just from bad takeout. or local stuff, like the best hole-in-the-wall spots in Deming or Clovis that nobody talks about. I could pull up some reviews ahead of time. That trucker vibe got me thinking road stories could work too, but less back pain, more like ghost trucks. Or something spooky on the highway.
 
 LUKE: All right, I see where you're going on that. We already did dreams. We can't do dreams again. Not this soon anyway. Not without some more specifics for those dreams, you know? Just general dreams. It's interesting, but we need some variety. I like the idea of your road stories. We haven't done road stories and ghost trucks is interesting. There was that one caller a while back that thought that the aliens were following her in their F-150s, I think. Yeah, let's go with, tomorrow we'll do road stories. And we'll listen to stories that people have from the road. Way of the road, bud. It's the way of the road.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, road stories sounds perfect. Way better than rehashing dreams. I remember that. That alien F-150 lady, she was convinced they were tailgating her on 70. Cool if I dig up a couple New Mexico highway legends beforehand, like the Phantom Trucker on 285, or whatever. My civics seen some weird stuff out there, too, but nothing ghostly yet.
+DEVON: Yeah, road stories sounds perfect. Way better than rehashing dreams. I remember that. That alien F-150 lady, she was convinced they were tailgating her on 70. Cool if I dig up a couple New Mexico highway legends beforehand, like the Phantom Trucker on 285, or whatever. My civics seen some weird stuff out there, too, but nothing ghostly yet.
 
 LUKE: All right, well, it sounds like a plan to me. And thanks to all you listeners for another great episode of Luke at the Roost. Give us a call back tomorrow when we'll be taking calls and talking about people's road stories. a story from the road, you can give us a call tomorrow or send us an email at submissions at look at the roost.com. With that, we're going to sign off and say good night.

website/transcripts/episode-47-clarence-randy-and-the-onlyfans-daughter.txt

@@ -1,26 +1,26 @@
-LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. This is Luke. I'm your host of tonight's episode of Luke at the Roost, the late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can. If you'd like to give us a call, the number here is 208-439-58-5-8-3. That's 208-4-39 Luke. If you can't get to a telephone or, or you don't feel comfortable on the phone or whatever, you can send us an email, too. And if it's funny or poignant enough, we might read it on the air. So if you'd like to send us an email, the address is submissions at Luke at theroose.com. So let's check in with our trusty, nerdy sidekick here, Devin. Devin, how are you doing tonight? Are you ready for our Road Stories show today?
+LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. This is Luke. I'm your host of tonight's episode of Luke at the Roost, the late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can. If you'd like to give us a call, the number here is 208-439-58-5-8-3. That's 208-4-39 Luke. If you can't get to a telephone or, or you don't feel comfortable on the phone or whatever, you can send us an email, too. And if it's funny or poignant enough, we might read it on the air. So if you'd like to send us an email, the address is submissions at Luke at theroose.com. So let's check in with our trusty, nerdy sidekick here, Devon. Devon, how are you doing tonight? Are you ready for our Road Stories show today?
 
-DEVIN: I'm doing pretty good, actually, Luke. Had this dream last night about driving across the country in a van made of old cassette tape. So road stories feel kind of prophetic today. Yeah, totally ready. I pulled up a bunch of weird highway facts earlier just in case. What's the first caller got?
+DEVON: I'm doing pretty good, actually, Luke. Had this dream last night about driving across the country in a van made of old cassette tape. So road stories feel kind of prophetic today. Yeah, totally ready. I pulled up a bunch of weird highway facts earlier just in case. What's the first caller got?
 
 LUKE: I don't know. We haven't, we haven't checked in without first call yet. First, we're going to talk about our road stories. I mean, I certainly have a lot of them, but what about you? Have you ever been out on the road for any extended length of time? You ever travel the country or do the RV thing or or hitchhike across America? Anything fun like that?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah. Last summer, I drove my Civic from Deming all the way to Vegas. And back in like 48 hours, just to see this girl I met online, check engine light blinking the whole time like it was mocking me. We ended up breaking down in the middle of nowhere, Arizona, spent the night in a ditch arguing about whether scorpions could sense fear, which, ironically, they probably could because I was terrified. Nothing as epic as hitchhiking, though, unless you count the time I thumbed a ride with that guy who turned out to be a taxidermist hauling roadkill. Anyway, you got a collar queued up?
+DEVON: Yeah. Last summer, I drove my Civic from Deming all the way to Vegas. And back in like 48 hours, just to see this girl I met online, check engine light blinking the whole time like it was mocking me. We ended up breaking down in the middle of nowhere, Arizona, spent the night in a ditch arguing about whether scorpions could sense fear, which, ironically, they probably could because I was terrified. Nothing as epic as hitchhiking, though, unless you count the time I thumbed a ride with that guy who turned out to be a taxidermist hauling roadkill. Anyway, you got a collar queued up?
 
 LUKE: Jesus, Devon, you're trying to push me to the collars already. I'm not ready. We're discussing you and I about road stories. Road stories, sir. So I don't know what's up with you in the taxidermists. It seems to be a recurring theme in your life. Do you have some sort of weird attraction to taxidermists?
 
-DEVIN: No attraction per se, Luke. It's just bad luck or something. Like I put out this weird hitchhiking vibe that attracts the strangest people. That taxidermist guy was actually super nice, gave me a stuffed squirrel as a thank you gift, which I still have on my dashboard staring at me every morning. Kind of makes me think about mortality every time I drive. But anyway, road stories from callers are going to top that, right? You want me to pull up some Route 66 trivia or something while we wait?
+DEVON: No attraction per se, Luke. It's just bad luck or something. Like I put out this weird hitchhiking vibe that attracts the strangest people. That taxidermist guy was actually super nice, gave me a stuffed squirrel as a thank you gift, which I still have on my dashboard staring at me every morning. Kind of makes me think about mortality every time I drive. But anyway, road stories from callers are going to top that, right? You want me to pull up some Route 66 trivia or something while we wait?
 
 LUKE: No, I hate Route 66. It's the worst road in America. You want to know why? I've been there a bunch of times. I actually owned some land out in Holbrook, Arizona, which is right on the old Route 66. But that particular road, really, I even made videos about it. That road pisses me off because everywhere that Route 66 used to go, every road around there has the Route 66 signs. Like, it's all they have left is the memory, the ghost of Roots of Route 66. And it's diluted it so much that you don't even know what road it was because all the little side roads have Route 66 and all the businesses are the Route 66 whatever. It's just, it's impossible to, uh, to trace the old historic Route 66. It's going through the national parks. It's going through the towns. It's every single little side road. I mean, it's just obnoxious. So that pisses me off. And then you get up to, uh, uh, Winslow, Arizona, you know, and stand out on the corner there and they get the big Route 66 painted in the center of the road and the statues of the fucking, I fucking hate the Eagles, but they're always playing that side. It's awful. It's just so kitschy and forced. And all the little shops, they got to sell their fucking Route 66 postcards. Jesus Christ. It was one road. It was the mother road. It was only one road. They can't all be Route 66. It really pisses me off.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I get that. The whole thing's turned into this tourist trap zombie where every gas station claims it's the real deal. Holbrook's got that wigwam motel, though, right? I drove past there once on the way from that Vegas trip, thought about stopping. But my Czech engine light was flashing like a rave, and I figured the stuffed squirrels in the lobby would judge me harder than the one on my dash. Kind of sad how it's all faded glory now. You ever think about developing that land into something anti-rout 66, like a no-kitch zone?
+DEVON: Yeah, I get that. The whole thing's turned into this tourist trap zombie where every gas station claims it's the real deal. Holbrook's got that wigwam motel, though, right? I drove past there once on the way from that Vegas trip, thought about stopping. But my Czech engine light was flashing like a rave, and I figured the stuffed squirrels in the lobby would judge me harder than the one on my dash. Kind of sad how it's all faded glory now. You ever think about developing that land into something anti-rout 66, like a no-kitch zone?
 
 LUKE: Actually, yes, I have. So the land that I have, it butts up against the petrified forest National Park. So it's all that chin-lay crazy formation. And half of it's just flatland and half of it is Martian-looking land. And down the road, a piece of you can call it a road, down the dirt path a while, there's a cult-like community of cosplayers called Uranium Springs. And they all have their structures built out there in the middle of the desert, and they blow up cars. And you can't go there unless you're dressed up all Mad Max style. And they have huge parties. girls in cages. And it's this whole event out there. And they're my neighbors. So I was thinking I would set up my own cult out there on Route 66. I got to talk to Silas about this and get some tips. But I would set up my own as a rival group to Uranium Springs. And that way we could have a rivalry. You know, we could set up booby traps around our prospective perimeters and do covert and pillage the other group. I think it could be great. What do you think?
 
-DEVIN: That sounds epic, Luke, like the desert's finally getting the post-apocalyptic showdown it deserves. Uranium Springs, with the Mad Max parties and cage dancers, your rival cult could be the anti-kitch saviors, booby traps made from petrified wood. And old wigwam motel scraps, rating them for supplies while blasting something that drowns out the eagles. I'd volunteer to infiltrate as a double agent, ironically blending right in since I already looked like I crawled out of a dystopian fanfic. You got a name for it yet?
+DEVON: That sounds epic, Luke, like the desert's finally getting the post-apocalyptic showdown it deserves. Uranium Springs, with the Mad Max parties and cage dancers, your rival cult could be the anti-kitch saviors, booby traps made from petrified wood. And old wigwam motel scraps, rating them for supplies while blasting something that drowns out the eagles. I'd volunteer to infiltrate as a double agent, ironically blending right in since I already looked like I crawled out of a dystopian fanfic. You got a name for it yet?
 
 LUKE: No, no name for it yet. See, the problem is the road to get there is very difficult. I wouldn't bring my RV out there because it's just bumpy. And one of the times I went out there, it was so full of tumbleweeds that I had to, like, go around the road. Like, you need to bring a shovel to get down the road because the tumbleweeds just pile up against people's fences, and it's very hard to traverse. So before I could turn it into anything real, I'd have to do something about that road. So I don't know if you know anybody that's got a scraper or a grater that we could fix this road. And I really wanted to get like a backhoe out there and dig it up and put a bunch of shipping containers under the ground and have it like fallout bunkers. And then that way we could just have like a periscope checking out for the uranium springs goons. And if we see any of them, we can, I don't know, launch water balloons or petrified wood balloons at them.
 
-DEVIN: Oh, man. Tumbleweeds piling up like that sounds straight out of a spaghetti Western gone wrong. I've shoveled my fair share out of the way on back roads near Deming. But yeah, you'd need a real greater for that stretch. Maybe rent one from a place like United Rentals in Holbrook. The bunker idea is genius, though, periscope spying on the Uranium Springs crew while you're lobbing petrified wood. Call it tumbleweed resistance or something with the road as your first moat. I'd help dig if you get the backhoe. Reminds me of that time I buried a time capsule in the desert with my ex that we never dug up. Probably still out there judging us.
+DEVON: Oh, man. Tumbleweeds piling up like that sounds straight out of a spaghetti Western gone wrong. I've shoveled my fair share out of the way on back roads near Deming. But yeah, you'd need a real greater for that stretch. Maybe rent one from a place like United Rentals in Holbrook. The bunker idea is genius, though, periscope spying on the Uranium Springs crew while you're lobbing petrified wood. Call it tumbleweed resistance or something with the road as your first moat. I'd help dig if you get the backhoe. Reminds me of that time I buried a time capsule in the desert with my ex that we never dug up. Probably still out there judging us.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, man, that Uranium Springs place is cool. I went out there and took pictures of it.
 
@@ -80,7 +80,7 @@ LUKE: Well, that's not a very good use of the leverage. He's already played his
 
 TERRY: Yeah, Luke, spot on. The spaghetti sauce shield, but make it skin-tight latex that shines under the kitchen light. Kinky has hair. Hell. Full stop. Started when my long-distance boyfriend Marcus sent a goofy Halloween pick of himself in latex eight months back.
 
-LUKE: Like, it's already been sent out. I still think you should send us the pictures for verification, because it doesn't sound like these could be AI images. And Devin is actually an expert in identifying AI images. So if you can send them to us at the studio, Submissions at Lukeattheroose.com, we'll be happy to take a look and let you know for sure if those are real pictures or if they were altered in some way.
+LUKE: Like, it's already been sent out. I still think you should send us the pictures for verification, because it doesn't sound like these could be AI images. And Devon is actually an expert in identifying AI images. So if you can send them to us at the studio, Submissions at Lukeattheroose.com, we'll be happy to take a look and let you know for sure if those are real pictures or if they were altered in some way.
 
 CLARENCE: No, Luke. Still not sending pictures. Leverage ain't one text. It's the door he kicked open.
 
@@ -130,9 +130,9 @@ MO: Luke, that Yolanda call got me going. You were dead right calling her evil f
 
 LUKE: Jesus Christ, where's up with these people? We're trying to talk about road stories and they want to talk about shopping cards. I don't understand. Why is it like this? Why is it like this?
 
-DEVIN: Devin, why are we getting all these calls tonight from people that are just fucking morons? I don't understand it. We're trying to talk about road stories. And none of them will give me any goddamn road stories. Oh, Jesus. What do we do? maybe it's the full moon or something pulling in the weirdos tonight. We could try throwing out a super specific prompt like worst road rage you've seen to filter out the randos. Or, yeah, that one time I drove my Civic all the way to Albuquerque with the check engine light blinking like a rave. And no AC, people kept trying to race me, but I just waved him past.
+DEVON: Devon, why are we getting all these calls tonight from people that are just fucking morons? I don't understand it. We're trying to talk about road stories. And none of them will give me any goddamn road stories. Oh, Jesus. What do we do? maybe it's the full moon or something pulling in the weirdos tonight. We could try throwing out a super specific prompt like worst road rage you've seen to filter out the randos. Or, yeah, that one time I drove my Civic all the way to Albuquerque with the check engine light blinking like a rave. And no AC, people kept trying to race me, but I just waved him past.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, we'll just see what's next with the callers because they have more interesting stories than you do, Devin. So next up we've got Lori. Lori, thanks for calling in. What's going on in your life? life today. Do you have a road story for us? A road story, let me just set the scene for you. A road story is a story where you're in a vehicle, potentially on a road. It's you're moving somewhere for some reason. It's usually a long trip. Sometimes they call it a road trip. And things happen along the way on the road. You run into interesting characters or you have obstacles that happen, tires slashed or brake or whatever. Your fuel pump falls out in the winter? Anything could go wrong. Do you have a road story for us, Lori? Please tell me that you have a goddamn road story.
+LUKE: Yeah, we'll just see what's next with the callers because they have more interesting stories than you do, Devon. So next up we've got Lori. Lori, thanks for calling in. What's going on in your life? life today. Do you have a road story for us? A road story, let me just set the scene for you. A road story is a story where you're in a vehicle, potentially on a road. It's you're moving somewhere for some reason. It's usually a long trip. Sometimes they call it a road trip. And things happen along the way on the road. You run into interesting characters or you have obstacles that happen, tires slashed or brake or whatever. Your fuel pump falls out in the winter? Anything could go wrong. Do you have a road story for us, Lori? Please tell me that you have a goddamn road story.
 
 LORI: Well, Luke, I'm standing outside the feed store in Arnie Mars right now. And three weeks ago, I drove up to Albuquerque to tell my best friend her husband's cheating on her. Does that count as a road story?
 
@@ -217,16 +217,16 @@ LUKE: Okay, so I just looked up Garmin's voice assistant features, and while the
 
 ROSALIE: Thanks, Luke. Appreciate the straight talk. Take care.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, you too. You and Brenda have a wonderful evening. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we're going to wrap up there. It's been an interesting roller coaster of calls today, none of which I truly expected and none of which went in the direction than I thought they would. What do you think about that, Devin?
+LUKE: Yeah, you too. You and Brenda have a wonderful evening. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we're going to wrap up there. It's been an interesting roller coaster of calls today, none of which I truly expected and none of which went in the direction than I thought they would. What do you think about that, Devon?
 
-DEVIN: This was a... There was some interesting calls here, but none of them were really road rules related, which I guess is okay. But still, I was pretty excited about hearing road stories tonight, and I'm a little bit disappointed that we didn't get that many of them.
+DEVON: This was a... There was some interesting calls here, but none of them were really road rules related, which I guess is okay. But still, I was pretty excited about hearing road stories tonight, and I'm a little bit disappointed that we didn't get that many of them.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I get that. Those calls were kind of all over the place. Like the Hot Springs one was cool, but not exactly white-knuckling road rage stories, you know? That reminds me of this one time. I was driving back from Deming in my Civic, check engine light blinking like a rave, and I swear a deer just launched itself at my windshield out of nowhere. Total right off, but I walked away fine. We could always pivot to listener requests next segment if you want more road stuff, though.
 
-DEVIN: We'll get it figured out. We'll dial it in. We'll make sure that the colors know. I mean, maybe we'll just have to screen them a little bit when they call in, let them know. We're talking about road stories today, so if you've got something else, save it for another show and hang up on the people that don't have a road story.
+DEVON: We'll get it figured out. We'll dial it in. We'll make sure that the colors know. I mean, maybe we'll just have to screen them a little bit when they call in, let them know. We're talking about road stories today, so if you've got something else, save it for another show and hang up on the people that don't have a road story.
 
 LUKE: I've got one just a few years ago. I was in a rental car. I was in a rental in West Virginia, and I was on my way to the airport, and I hit a deer that jumped out in front of me. And there was nothing I could do to get out of the way, and it messed up the car, and it didn't kill the deer. At least not right away, the deer ran away. But I had to call, and I had my own insurance. I didn't get the rental car as extra insurance. So it was a whole thing, and I had to get my insurance to pay for the damages to the car, which they did. And I had to pay the co-pay for that. And then afterwards, after all that was done, the enterprise rental company sent me another bill for like, I don't remember how much it was for. But I was like, no, I'm not paying another bill. And I'm like, oh, well, you got to pass for all the time that the car was out of commission and we lost rentals on this. And you didn't buy our insurance, so you're going to have to pay more. And I was like, no, I do not have to pay more. I'm not going to pay more. So you can send this to collections all fucking day. I'm not paying it. My insurance paid you for the repairs. The vehicle is better repaired and I don't know you a goddamn thing. So that's where I left it and now I can't rent a car from Enterprise anymore.
 
-DEVIN: Womp, wamp, wamp, I know that one day I'm going to be stuck and I'm going to need an Enterprise rental car and I'm going to end up having to pay that. But for now, I take solace in knowing that I stood up for myself and I told them to fuck off because they're trying to rip me off and I would not allow it. And that's how I think everybody should behave. Whoa, that's savage. Good for you, man. Enterprise pulls that downtime fee crap all the time. I read about it once when my Civic got towed after that deer thing, and apparently it's basically unenforceable, if your insurance already covered repairs, like you said. We should definitely screen harder for the Road Ridge epics next. Maybe hit up the lines with deer Dodgers and rental rebels only or something.
+DEVON: Womp, wamp, wamp, I know that one day I'm going to be stuck and I'm going to need an Enterprise rental car and I'm going to end up having to pay that. But for now, I take solace in knowing that I stood up for myself and I told them to fuck off because they're trying to rip me off and I would not allow it. And that's how I think everybody should behave. Whoa, that's savage. Good for you, man. Enterprise pulls that downtime fee crap all the time. I read about it once when my Civic got towed after that deer thing, and apparently it's basically unenforceable, if your insurance already covered repairs, like you said. We should definitely screen harder for the Road Ridge epics next. Maybe hit up the lines with deer Dodgers and rental rebels only or something.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, all right, Devin. We'll try it again, and we'll keep trying until we get there. And we will get there because I'd never quit until I get what I want. And what I want is some goddamn road stories. You know what I mean? Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening to another episode of Luke at the Roost. We hope you have a wonderful night, and we'll talk to you again tomorrow.
+LUKE: Yeah, all right, Devon. We'll try it again, and we'll keep trying until we get there. And we will get there because I'd never quit until I get what I want. And what I want is some goddamn road stories. You know what I mean? Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening to another episode of Luke at the Roost. We hope you have a wonderful night, and we'll talk to you again tomorrow.

website/transcripts/episode-49-silas-s-shared-intimacy-night-and-four-brave-souls.txt

@@ -2,11 +2,11 @@ LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back. I'm Luke, and this is Luke
 
 DEVON: Yeah, Luke, I'm celebrating in my own way. Went to the early service at that little chapel in Deming, lit a candle for the resurrection and all that. Jesus pulling off the ultimate plot twist after three days in the tomb. That's motivation right there. Makes my rough patches feel temporary. You heading to Mass later or what? Silas still queued up?
 
-LUKE: Well, no, I'm not heading to Mass on account of Jesus died for your sin. Not my sins, your sins. So I actually have nothing to celebrate today. He actually didn't do a goddamn thing for me. But yes, Silas is queued up. I'm interested in hearing how the Wellspring handles Easter. And do you get any Easter stories for us, Devin? Any special Easter memories from back in your life, family things, or what do you call those? Traditions? Easter memories?
+LUKE: Well, no, I'm not heading to Mass on account of Jesus died for your sin. Not my sins, your sins. So I actually have nothing to celebrate today. He actually didn't do a goddamn thing for me. But yes, Silas is queued up. I'm interested in hearing how the Wellspring handles Easter. And do you get any Easter stories for us, Devon? Any special Easter memories from back in your life, family things, or what do you call those? Traditions? Easter memories?
 
 DEVON: Yeah. big on the resurrection theme. Every year, Grandma would bury a whole ham in the backyard tomb on Good Friday. Then we'd dig it up Saturday night with these little shovels like we were Mary Magdalet or whatever. One time it got dug up too early by the dog, covered in ants, and we still ate it. Tasted like salty regret and divine intervention. That was the same Easter I walked in on my cousin and her boyfriend practicing the stations of the cross in the shed. But anyway, Silas ready? I got his deets pulled if you need him.
 
-LUKE: So this can wait for a minute. Right now we're digging into you, Devin. You and your family's resurrection traditions. So berry and a ham isn't that strange of a thing? I mean, they do that in Hawaii. That's how they cook in, I think, Mexico. They dig a big hole and put some charcoal or something in there, and then they cook the meat for a couple of days. They bury it, and it's supposed to come out all delicious. But, yeah, I don't think you'll leave it out afterwards for the ants to get, Were they fire ants? Did you have any sort of situations with them biting you while you're trying to enjoy your Easter ham?
+LUKE: So this can wait for a minute. Right now we're digging into you, Devon. You and your family's resurrection traditions. So berry and a ham isn't that strange of a thing? I mean, they do that in Hawaii. That's how they cook in, I think, Mexico. They dig a big hole and put some charcoal or something in there, and then they cook the meat for a couple of days. They bury it, and it's supposed to come out all delicious. But, yeah, I don't think you'll leave it out afterwards for the ants to get, Were they fire ants? Did you have any sort of situations with them biting you while you're trying to enjoy your Easter ham?
 
 DEVON: Yeah, exactly like that imu pit in Hawaii or the barbacoa holes down here. Grandma swore it was biblical, low and slow resurrection cooking. The ants were fire ants, for sure. They swarmed the ham that year after the dog got to it first, bit half the family while we were picking them off and praying over the platter. stung so bad on his thigh he hopped around like st vitus's dance but we powered through easter's about triumph over adversity right silas still up yeah silas is up
 
@@ -84,7 +84,7 @@ LUKE: Yeah, I wouldn't consider four, I mean, four people showed up to your thin
 
 SILAS: Yeah, yeah. Okay. I think I needed to hear that. The sun that Delea drew on the sign-up sheet, I've been staring at it like it was supposed to tell me something. Like it was evidence that I'd failed. But maybe it's just a son. Four people wanted to be there. That's the evidence. That's what matters. Thank you, Lou.
 
-LUKE: This reminds me of some articles I've read. about intentional communities and how they often explore different forms of intimacy and connection, not always just romantic or sexual. Yeah, Devin's got a point there, too. A shared intimacy night doesn't have to be full on naked, you know, sexual sharing of bodies and energy. There's a couple things going on there that might make people feel uncomfortable. So maybe he's got the right idea. And instead you should start out having a cuddle party, you know. So put on your, uh, put on your, put on your, calendar that you're going to have an intimacy night, but it's non-sexual. It's platonic only, and you're just going to lay there and touch each other and hug in shit. And then, you know, after the event ends, maybe there's an after party where the people that are all horned up from being body to body actually do want to have sex. That's another way to go about it. But one more thing I want to talk to you about before we leave is how are you maintaining health and safety in these events. Do you have condoms for people? Are your flock fixed, you know, vasectomies, or are they too old to have kids? Are like, what about, how are you handling the potential for disease and pregnancies?
+LUKE: This reminds me of some articles I've read. about intentional communities and how they often explore different forms of intimacy and connection, not always just romantic or sexual. Yeah, Devon's got a point there, too. A shared intimacy night doesn't have to be full on naked, you know, sexual sharing of bodies and energy. There's a couple things going on there that might make people feel uncomfortable. So maybe he's got the right idea. And instead you should start out having a cuddle party, you know. So put on your, uh, put on your, put on your, calendar that you're going to have an intimacy night, but it's non-sexual. It's platonic only, and you're just going to lay there and touch each other and hug in shit. And then, you know, after the event ends, maybe there's an after party where the people that are all horned up from being body to body actually do want to have sex. That's another way to go about it. But one more thing I want to talk to you about before we leave is how are you maintaining health and safety in these events. Do you have condoms for people? Are your flock fixed, you know, vasectomies, or are they too old to have kids? Are like, what about, how are you handling the potential for disease and pregnancies?
 
 SILAS: That's a fair question. We've had conversations about it. Everyone's been tested. We have condoms available. Most of the people in a community are older. Gerald 68, like I said. So pregnancy isn't really a concern for most of them. But you're right. I should have thought more carefully about the logistics before we did this. I was so focused on the emotional and spiritual side of it that I didn't really nail down the practical stuff. I mean, we talked about it, but maybe not thoroughly enough.
 
@@ -170,7 +170,7 @@ CALLER: You're right. I'm going to do it. I'm going to call him tomorrow. I stil
 
 LUKE: Yeah, that's all you need. A 278 is a crazy good score in bowling. You're just two strikes and a spare away from a perfect game. It's a huge achievement for anyone, especially after 30 years in a league. All right. Well, it sounds like you did an amazing, exceptional job in your bowling league too. And this is just a good feels story all the way around. So thank you for the call. Talk to your son. And we're going to move on to the next caller. Is there anything else you'd like to impart on our radio audience before we go?
 
-CALLER: No, I think that's it. I appreciate you taking the time, Luke. And Devin, thanks for that. I didn't think anybody was listening to bowling scores. I'm going to make that call tomorrow. And I'm going to tell him I'm proud of him.
+CALLER: No, I think that's it. I appreciate you taking the time, Luke. And Devon, thanks for that. I didn't think anybody was listening to bowling scores. I'm going to make that call tomorrow. And I'm going to tell him I'm proud of him.
 
 LUKE: All right. Good man. You do it and... re- revitalize that relationship with your son. You still got time and he's in a position to hear it because I bet you he is. So next up, we've got Petra. Petra, thanks for calling in. Happy Easter to you. Are you celebrating the rebirth, the reconnaissance, the renaissance, the renaissance, the renaissance, the renaissance, the re-coming, the what's that other? Resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who died on the crucifix for your sins.
 
@@ -296,15 +296,15 @@ LUKE: Well, you don't have to let all those details start. You still have those.
 
 MARGUERITE: I see my daughter on Sundays. We have lunch. She's been very patient with me. And I sold his truck three months ago because I didn't know what else to do with it. And I thought that would help. I thought getting rid of his things would make it easier somehow. But it didn't. It just made the house quieter.
 
-DEVIN: It's interesting what Luke said about memory not being accurate, because studies show that while memory...
+DEVON: It's interesting what Luke said about memory not being accurate, because studies show that while memory...
 
-LUKE: Well, memory what? And what was that, Devin?
+LUKE: Well, memory what? And what was that, Devon?
 
-DEVIN: It's interesting what Luke said about memory not being accurate, because studies show that while memory isn't always perfect, emotional memories, especially during grief, can be particularly prone to distortion. It might not feel like it's helping now, Marguerite, getting rid of his things, but it will over time. This is still very new for you. It just happened last year. It's going to take a long time for this to start not feeling the way it does today. better and your life will go on. But as these things kind of fall off, it will make new room inside you to invite new experiences, new people, new memories.
+DEVON: It's interesting what Luke said about memory not being accurate, because studies show that while memory isn't always perfect, emotional memories, especially during grief, can be particularly prone to distortion. It might not feel like it's helping now, Marguerite, getting rid of his things, but it will over time. This is still very new for you. It just happened last year. It's going to take a long time for this to start not feeling the way it does today. better and your life will go on. But as these things kind of fall off, it will make new room inside you to invite new experiences, new people, new memories.
 
 MARGUERITE: I know. I understand what you're saying. I do. It's just eight months isn't very long, is it? And I'm awake most nights anyway. I've always been an insomniac. So I found your show in January, and it helped.
 
-DEVIN: It's actually really for people to struggle with the decision of selling a deceased spouse's car. And many widows on forums talk about how emotional and difficult it is, feeling like they're losing them all over again. That's really tough, Marguerite. I just looked up grief and insomnia, and it seems like it's a really common thing. Grief can definitely make sleep problems worse, and then poor sleep can make the grieving process even harder.
+DEVON: It's actually really for people to struggle with the decision of selling a deceased spouse's car. And many widows on forums talk about how emotional and difficult it is, feeling like they're losing them all over again. That's really tough, Marguerite. I just looked up grief and insomnia, and it seems like it's a really common thing. Grief can definitely make sleep problems worse, and then poor sleep can make the grieving process even harder.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, it's a horrible situation you're in. I'm sorry that happened to you and you're where you're at. But it sounds to me like you're where you need to be and you're progressing through healthy stages of grief. And as time goes on, it'll be a little less and a little less hard. And if you need somebody to talk to, you can call in to us anytime, Marguerite. We're here for you. And you're doing a great job. Just do the best you can do. And move forward because life isn't over for both of you.
 
@@ -366,13 +366,13 @@ LUKE: You've got your answer. You are as good a mother as you could be, and you
 
 DEB: Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that. And you're right about the furs. Those were good times. I'm glad your intern looked that up. It's nice to know someone remembers those places existed.
 
-LUKE: All right, Deb. Well, good luck to you and good luck to your daughter and happy Easter to everybody all around. That's going to be the end of our show. Devin, how do you think it went tonight?
+LUKE: All right, Deb. Well, good luck to you and good luck to your daughter and happy Easter to everybody all around. That's going to be the end of our show. Devon, how do you think it went tonight?
 
-DEVIN: I think we had some pretty good calls today. I felt pretty good about it. What about you?
+DEVON: I think we had some pretty good calls today. I felt pretty good about it. What about you?
 
 LUKE: Yeah, Luke, I thought it crushed. Silas tying into the Easter resurrection vibes was gold. And those stories we dug into had the lines lighting up like nobody's business. Felt like we hit that sweet spot where it's weird but real, you know? Makes me want to stick around longer than my internship, if that makes sense. What was your favorite bit?
 
-DEVIN: Oh, I like talking to Silas. He's always a good time. It's interesting to me what's going on down there at the well. spring. I like that Silas thinks about his leadership. He's pretty insecure. And he calls to get advice about whether he's being a good cult leader. And I think that's great. I think that I'm really the most qualified person around to give him that advice. And I'm really honored that he would, he would take my advice to his commune and use it to better the lives of his people. Yeah. So it was pretty good. Your internship, though, We'll talk about that when we get there. You can't invite yourself to the studio. We'll have to come up with a new arrangement when your internship is over, all right?
+DEVON: Oh, I like talking to Silas. He's always a good time. It's interesting to me what's going on down there at the well. spring. I like that Silas thinks about his leadership. He's pretty insecure. And he calls to get advice about whether he's being a good cult leader. And I think that's great. I think that I'm really the most qualified person around to give him that advice. And I'm really honored that he would, he would take my advice to his commune and use it to better the lives of his people. Yeah. So it was pretty good. Your internship, though, We'll talk about that when we get there. You can't invite yourself to the studio. We'll have to come up with a new arrangement when your internship is over, all right?
 
 LUKE: Yeah, Silas is the best.
 

website/transcripts/episode-50-deb-s-mounted-jackrabbit-and-seven-years-of-silence.txt

@@ -1,38 +1,38 @@
-LUKE: All right. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's the late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on in your life. I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, April 9th, and if you would like to call in, our number is 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. It's been a couple days since we had a show. I've been working hard on passing my certified Kubernetes administrator exam, which has been not a whole lot of fun, but, you know, life goes on, and we will get there. We surely will. Let's check in with our faithful intern, Devin, and see what he's been up to the last couple of days. Hey, Devin, what's your, what are your days been like the last couple days?
+LUKE: All right. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's the late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on in your life. I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, April 9th, and if you would like to call in, our number is 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. It's been a couple days since we had a show. I've been working hard on passing my certified Kubernetes administrator exam, which has been not a whole lot of fun, but, you know, life goes on, and we will get there. We surely will. Let's check in with our faithful intern, Devon, and see what he's been up to the last couple of days. Hey, Devon, what's your, what are your days been like the last couple days?
 
-DEVIN: Oh, man, the last couple days have been intense. Yesterday, I finally got around to cleaning my studio and found this old journal from high school where I wrote fanfic about being a pirate therapist. Threw most of it out but kept one page for reasons I can't explain. And today, my civics check engine lights started flashing like Morse code. So I pulled over on 180 and just sat there listening to the show on my phone until it calmed down. What's up with you, though?
+DEVON: Oh, man, the last couple days have been intense. Yesterday, I finally got around to cleaning my studio and found this old journal from high school where I wrote fanfic about being a pirate therapist. Threw most of it out but kept one page for reasons I can't explain. And today, my civics check engine lights started flashing like Morse code. So I pulled over on 180 and just sat there listening to the show on my phone until it calmed down. What's up with you, though?
 
 LUKE: Well, I've been watching clips from The Wire. a series from, I don't know, 2001-ish, and remembering how good that was. And studying for my exam here, my Kubernetes exam, which is not been a time of fun. I took it the other day, and it was a big pain in the ass. It's an online proctored test, so you've got to take your webcam and it's panning around the room, all slow-like, so they can make sure you don't have any of the answers written on the walls. And the guy fucked with me the whole time through the whole test. He's like, ah, there's a dog in your room. You can't have animals. Let me see under your keyboard. Don't touch your face. Like, there is just a bunch of rules and bullshit around this test that, uh, that wasn't great. And, uh, and I failed it. I got a 62 out of 66. So I missed the question. And now I have to retake the test again tomorrow and deal with all that bullshit. Uh, regarding being a pirate therapist. Were you a pirate and a therapist? Or were you a therapist for pirates or both?
 
-DEVIN: like I'd sail around patching up their scurvy egos after mutinies or whatever with a parrot that repeated affirmations. I think I wrote it after this one therapy session where the guy was obsessed with Treasure Island and it just spiraled from there. That Kubernetes stuff sounds brutal though, man. Did the Proctor make you show him your fridge or anything?
+DEVON: like I'd sail around patching up their scurvy egos after mutinies or whatever with a parrot that repeated affirmations. I think I wrote it after this one therapy session where the guy was obsessed with Treasure Island and it just spiraled from there. That Kubernetes stuff sounds brutal though, man. Did the Proctor make you show him your fridge or anything?
 
 LUKE: Yeah, well, I mean, not inside the fridge, but I had to pan the camera all around and show him every wall and surface in the floor and under my desk. about the dog and I got dinged like he paused the test and was like we're going to kick you out because I was talking to myself because I couldn't remember how to do math and bash like a moron but you know I got through it failed it and I have to do it again tomorrow and I won't fail it this time I never fail the same thing twice that's a rule that I try to live by but pirate therapy sounds like an important and interesting profession did you know that the pastafarians consider pirates to be godly creatures?
 
-DEVIN: The Proctor sounds like a total nightmare. Pausing the test over a dog and you mumbling math, brutal. Yeah, Pashtafarians straight up venerate pirates as divine beings, like the original chosen people of the flying spaghetti monster, and they blame global warming on there being fewer pirates nowadays. It's all in their gospel or whatever. Pirate therapy would have been a booming field there.
+DEVON: The Proctor sounds like a total nightmare. Pausing the test over a dog and you mumbling math, brutal. Yeah, Pashtafarians straight up venerate pirates as divine beings, like the original chosen people of the flying spaghetti monster, and they blame global warming on there being fewer pirates nowadays. It's all in their gospel or whatever. Pirate therapy would have been a booming field there.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, you can't really disprove it because, I mean, I've seen the chart. chart. The lack of pirates as the pirate population has declined, global warming has increased. So you can see how they got there.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, that graph is one of the best things on the internet. It's got this perfect downward line for pirates since like 10,800 and the temp shooting up right after. Kind of makes you wonder if we should all start sailing just to save the planet. Good luck on the retake tomorrow, though. You'll crush it.
+DEVON: Yeah, that graph is one of the best things on the internet. It's got this perfect downward line for pirates since like 10,800 and the temp shooting up right after. Kind of makes you wonder if we should all start sailing just to save the planet. Good luck on the retake tomorrow, though. You'll crush it.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I better fucking crush it because I don't want to do this shit again. It's an expensive test. And I almost quit before I even started. because the proctor was such a dick. It took everything I had, not to be like, you know what, this isn't fucking worth it. Like the two hours that I have to sit here with you, you motherfucker, it's not worth the certification, but I need the certification, so I'm going to have to keep taking that test until I pass it. And tomorrow is the day at 8.30 p.m.
 
-DEVIN: Man, 8.30 tomorrow? That's prime showtime. You'll be acing that test while we're probably debating if Bigfoot prefers podcasts or vinyl. Hang in there, though. Sounds like you've got the grit for it. shit again, just picture him as a scurvy ridden cabin boy.
+DEVON: Man, 8.30 tomorrow? That's prime showtime. You'll be acing that test while we're probably debating if Bigfoot prefers podcasts or vinyl. Hang in there, though. Sounds like you've got the grit for it. shit again, just picture him as a scurvy ridden cabin boy.
 
-LUKE: I picture everybody as a scurvy ridden cabin boy, because I mean, at our core, isn't that what we all are? All right, let's get started with this show, Devin. You think we're going to have a good one today? You ready?
+LUKE: I picture everybody as a scurvy ridden cabin boy, because I mean, at our core, isn't that what we all are? All right, let's get started with this show, Devon. You think we're going to have a good one today? You ready?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, man, I think tonight's going to be a banger. Lines are already lighting up, and I've got this weird feeling we're diving into some conspiracy-level alien abductions or whatever. I'm ready. are queued, coffee's hot, let's do this.
+DEVON: Yeah, man, I think tonight's going to be a banger. Lines are already lighting up, and I've got this weird feeling we're diving into some conspiracy-level alien abductions or whatever. I'm ready. are queued, coffee's hot, let's do this.
 
 LUKE: All right, let's do this. First up on our caller line here, we've got Deb. Deb, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life tonight? How can we help you?
 
 DEB: Oh, thank you for taking my call, Luke. I'm sorry, I know it's late. I'm Deb, by the way. I'm calling because I can't sleep and I've been sitting here staring at my phone for like two hours now, and I just need to talk to someone who isn't Gerald. That's my Jack Rabbit. Mounted Jackrabbit on my nightstand. I already talked to him about this, and he's not helping. My son sent me a Facebook friend request tonight. After seven years, Luke.
 
-LUKE: Hmm. Well, actually, you're in luck because Devin, our intern, is actually a connoisseur of taxidermy, so maybe he's got something to add there.
+LUKE: Hmm. Well, actually, you're in luck because Devon, our intern, is actually a connoisseur of taxidermy, so maybe he's got something to add there.
 
-DEVIN: Wait, that's actually really interesting. I just looked it up. And it turns out Jackrabbits are generally considered wild animals typically kept as pets. So a mounted one makes a lot more sense.
+DEVON: Wait, that's actually really interesting. I just looked it up. And it turns out Jackrabbits are generally considered wild animals typically kept as pets. So a mounted one makes a lot more sense.
 
 LUKE: All right. So your son sent you a Facebook request. Did you have some sort of falling out? Or is there a reason that you weren't Facebook friends? How old is your son? And is it odd that he is even using Facebook at all? Because I think anybody under 40 doesn't.
 
-DEB: Well, Devin, yes. Gerald is mounted. I did that work myself, actually. I'm a taxidermist now, part time. Used to be a dental hygienist, but I got bit by a patient. during a cleaning, and I just, I took it as a sign, you know? So that's what I do now. But Luke, my son is 32. His name is Michael.
+DEB: Well, Devon, yes. Gerald is mounted. I did that work myself, actually. I'm a taxidermist now, part time. Used to be a dental hygienist, but I got bit by a patient. during a cleaning, and I just, I took it as a sign, you know? So that's what I do now. But Luke, my son is 32. His name is Michael.
 
 LUKE: All right, and did you have some sort of a falling out with Michael? Are you not speaking to Michael? Is that what makes this Facebook request meaningful, or is it just Facebook? Like, do you talk to him regularly on the phone, and you're offended that he wouldn't accept your Facebook friend request, or what's the deal there?
 
@@ -68,7 +68,7 @@ LUKE: All right. Well, good for you. I hope that goes well for you. good night's
 
 CODY: Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking the call. Yeah. So I'm Cody, actually. But that's not really the point. Look, I'm calling because I just got completely screwed over at the Cortez Regional BBQ Championship last weekend. And I need people to know what's happening out there. I drove four hours with my brisket wrapped in a moving blanket in the back seat, heat on the whole way to keep it perfect, and I got disqualified. Disqualified, Luke. The head judge said I used an illegal binder, an illegal binder. An illegal binder. I used beef tallow.
 
-LUKE: All right. Well, sorry about that, Cody. Devin, you want to take a look and see why I'm seeing his name is Presto? The man's name is Cody. We don't want to be referring to people as the wrong name. All right. Let's break this down. So you're in a barbecue competition. You brought your barbecue and they said you can't have beef tallow as a binder. What's a binder when it comes to barbecue? I'm not familiar with the barbecue terminology. Isn't brisket not bound together? I think of a binder as like a sausage wrapper. Right.
+LUKE: All right. Well, sorry about that, Cody. Devon, you want to take a look and see why I'm seeing his name is Presto? The man's name is Cody. We don't want to be referring to people as the wrong name. All right. Let's break this down. So you're in a barbecue competition. You brought your barbecue and they said you can't have beef tallow as a binder. What's a binder when it comes to barbecue? I'm not familiar with the barbecue terminology. Isn't brisket not bound together? I think of a binder as like a sausage wrapper. Right.
 
 CODY: Okay. So a binder is basically what you use the rub stick to the meat. Most guys use mustard. Some use Worcestershire, whatever. I used beef tallow because it's traditional, it's clean, it's just rendered fat from the beef itself. Nothing illegal about it. Nothing in the rulebook says you can't use it. But here's the thing, Luke. I've got photos on my phone. I have a whole folder labeled evidence. I watched those judges huddled up before they even tasted my entry. They were talking to each other, nodding, and then boom, my brisket gets pulled.
 
@@ -94,7 +94,7 @@ LUKE: I understand. It takes a long time to make a brisket. And, you know, you'v
 
 CALLER: You're right. You're probably right. I just, I needed to say it out loud to somebody. You know, I needed someone to hear me. Because in that parking lot, after they told me I was disqualified, I had something in my eye from the smoke, and I just sat there for like 20 minutes. Told my girlfriend, it was the smoke.
 
-LUKE: Oh, man. Now, I mean, she knows. She knows the truth. I don't think it's really all that important. We're talking about a slab of meat here. You can take that anywhere. Talk to your, talk to your people, talk to your friends, give out samples and ask them what they think of your brisket. And if they think it's a championship winning material, I'll tell you what, if you want to cut off a slab about 20 pounds or so and send that to Devin and I, will let you know how good your brisket is. is.
+LUKE: Oh, man. Now, I mean, she knows. She knows the truth. I don't think it's really all that important. We're talking about a slab of meat here. You can take that anywhere. Talk to your, talk to your people, talk to your friends, give out samples and ask them what they think of your brisket. And if they think it's a championship winning material, I'll tell you what, if you want to cut off a slab about 20 pounds or so and send that to Devon and I, will let you know how good your brisket is. is.
 
 CALLER: Really? You'd actually do that? That's cool of you, man. I appreciate that. I really do. Yeah. I mean, I could probably swing that. I'd have to smoke another one. But honestly, that might be good for me anyway.
 
@@ -102,11 +102,11 @@ LUKE: Yeah, well, if you do that, I'll tell you what. I'll make a deal with you.
 
 CALLER: Wait, are you serious right now? Like an actual competition through your show? That's actually something. That's real. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'll do it. I'll smoke a fresh brisket and get it out to you guys.
 
-LUKE: All right. Get it done. And stay on the line for a second. Devin will be with you to get the details and where to and all that, and we'll see how it goes, all right? Good luck on your next competitions, and I'm sure your brisket is fantastic. Next up, we've got Gina. Gina, thanks for calling the show tonight. What's going on in your life? How can we help you?
+LUKE: All right. Get it done. And stay on the line for a second. Devon will be with you to get the details and where to and all that, and we'll see how it goes, all right? Good luck on your next competitions, and I'm sure your brisket is fantastic. Next up, we've got Gina. Gina, thanks for calling the show tonight. What's going on in your life? How can we help you?
 
 REGINALD: Luke, I appreciate you taking the call, and it's Reginald, actually. Reginald Hartley. I've been listening to your show for about eight years now, and I need to tell you something about that recording you put up three nights ago. The one on 1420. I heard it. I heard what you pulled out of the hydrogen line. and I need to know if you still have the original file. Because what you're sitting on, Luke, I don't think you understand what you're sitting on.
 
-LUKE: All right there, Reginald. I don't know. What's going on, Devin, with our caller names? Because this isn't Gina. This is clearly not Gina. But thanks for the call, Reginald. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I didn't put up any audio on 1420. I haven't turned on the ham radio in quite some time. And even if I did, I would not be broadcasting audio recordings because that's against FCC regulations.
+LUKE: All right there, Reginald. I don't know. What's going on, Devon, with our caller names? Because this isn't Gina. This is clearly not Gina. But thanks for the call, Reginald. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I didn't put up any audio on 1420. I haven't turned on the ham radio in quite some time. And even if I did, I would not be broadcasting audio recordings because that's against FCC regulations.
 
 REGINALD: You're right. You're right. I misspoke. You didn't broadcast it. I caught it myself on my receiver three nights ago at 247 in the morning. The signal came through on 1420 and I heard you. Or I heard something that sounded like your voice patterns, your cadence, mixed in with this other thing, this repeating tone underneath. And I've been monitoring that frequency ever since. Because, Luke, it comes back every 71 minutes. Exactly. 71 minutes. I know how this sounds.
 
@@ -292,7 +292,7 @@ LUKE: Oh, well, we just had a call earlier today. I think it was our first call
 
 MARCUS: No. wasn't me. But now I'm wondering if there's a whole wave of people calling you about competition integrity issues tonight, which is somehow both reassuring and deeply concerning. My situation is different. I disqualified the reigning three-time state champion. Guy named Derek Paulson. You probably know the name if you follow the circuit at all, and the infraction was about the resting vessel, the brisket. He used a Cambro container that wasn't on the approved list in the rulebook, or at least I interpreted it that way.
 
-LUKE: Okay, well, yeah, I definitely don't follow the barbecue competition circuit? Nobody does, actually. So the only people that care about the barbecue circuit are the people that are competing in it. Um, but we did talk earlier about starting our own barbecue competition here. Look at the roost. So what I said is, uh, send us 20 pounds of brisket and Devin and I will test it out and we'll have It's stupid. I don't know what a Cambrough container is, but you're not judging the container. You're judging the brisket.
+LUKE: Okay, well, yeah, I definitely don't follow the barbecue competition circuit? Nobody does, actually. So the only people that care about the barbecue circuit are the people that are competing in it. Um, but we did talk earlier about starting our own barbecue competition here. Look at the roost. So what I said is, uh, send us 20 pounds of brisket and Devon and I will test it out and we'll have It's stupid. I don't know what a Cambrough container is, but you're not judging the container. You're judging the brisket.
 
 MARCUS: I know. I know how it sounds. Believe me, I have a laminated copy of the rulebook in my glove compartment, and I've consulted it six times since Sunday. Six times, Luke. And every time I read section 4.2, B, it seems to say something slightly different depending on my mood that day. The vessel thing does sound absurd when you say it out loud, and that's part of why I'm calling you at midnight instead of sleeping. But here's the thing. The rules exist for a reason.
 
@@ -342,20 +342,20 @@ LUKE: I don't think you do because a faulty wire can look like a lot of things,
 
 YOLANDA: Luke, you're right. You're probably right about most of that. But I set up a ring camera. My granddaughter helped me. And I watched the footage every morning with my coffee. I've been doing this for six weeks. I know what I'm seeing. And I'm not saying it's aliens or terrorists. I'm just saying that it started on Roberto's birthday. Six weeks ago, on his birthday, the light started doing this.
 
-LUKE: Okay, well, you have yourself a wonderful night. You don't sound crazy at all. And find something better to do with your time than watch the flickering of the light bolt down the street. That's what I have to say to you. All right, I think we've come to the end of our show tonight. Devin, honey, think that's this one and what's going on with our collars? Why is it that I'm seeing the wrong caller names?
+LUKE: Okay, well, you have yourself a wonderful night. You don't sound crazy at all. And find something better to do with your time than watch the flickering of the light bolt down the street. That's what I have to say to you. All right, I think we've come to the end of our show tonight. Devon, honey, think that's this one and what's going on with our collars? Why is it that I'm seeing the wrong caller names?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I've noticed that too. Sometimes the caller ID pulls the wrong name from their phone carrier or whatever. I think it's the switchboard software messing up the metadata again like it did last week with that one guy who showed up as Pizza Hut. Want me to restart the collar queue or poke around in the back end real quick?
+DEVON: Yeah, I've noticed that too. Sometimes the caller ID pulls the wrong name from their phone carrier or whatever. I think it's the switchboard software messing up the metadata again like it did last week with that one guy who showed up as Pizza Hut. Want me to restart the collar queue or poke around in the back end real quick?
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I mean, for tomorrow, let's get this figured out because it's a little bit annoying me not knowing who I'm talking to. Yeah, do what you got to do. Do your troubleshooting steps and make sure it's working tip top for tomorrow's show, okay?
 
-DEVIN: Got it, Luke. I'll stay late tonight, reset the metadata parser in the switchboard, test it with a few dummy calls from my phone, and paying the carrier API if it's still glitchy. O'd to be rock solid by tomorrow. Anything else before the next caller?
+DEVON: Got it, Luke. I'll stay late tonight, reset the metadata parser in the switchboard, test it with a few dummy calls from my phone, and paying the carrier API if it's still glitchy. O'd to be rock solid by tomorrow. Anything else before the next caller?
 
 LUKE: Nope, we're done with the callers today. The show is ending and we're just doing a little wrap-up, you and I. Before we go for the night, what are your plans for the rest of the evening after you're done fixing the switch. board.
 
-DEVIN: Oh, man, after I get the switchboard squared away, probably around midnight or so, I'll peel out in the Civic, check engine light blinking like always, and hit that 24-hour diner in Demming for some Wayvos, Rancheros. Been trying to chat up the night shift waitress there. She's got this tattoo of a cactus on her wrist that, I swear, moves when ironically, my last date ghosted me right after I told her about the time my mom locked me in the basement during a blackout as a kid. Anyway, what about you, to bars or calling it early.
+DEVON: Oh, man, after I get the switchboard squared away, probably around midnight or so, I'll peel out in the Civic, check engine light blinking like always, and hit that 24-hour diner in Demming for some Wayvos, Rancheros. Been trying to chat up the night shift waitress there. She's got this tattoo of a cactus on her wrist that, I swear, moves when ironically, my last date ghosted me right after I told her about the time my mom locked me in the basement during a blackout as a kid. Anyway, what about you, to bars or calling it early.
 
-LUKE: No, there are no bars, and I don't go to them anyway. I'm going to, I'm going to, uh, I'm going to hit the old dusty trail. I'm going to bed. I think I got a big exam tomorrow, and I have to pass it this time, or I'm going to lose my goddamn fucking mind. Well, all right, ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of our show. We'll talk to you again tomorrow. Oh, there's Devin.
+LUKE: No, there are no bars, and I don't go to them anyway. I'm going to, I'm going to, uh, I'm going to hit the old dusty trail. I'm going to bed. I think I got a big exam tomorrow, and I have to pass it this time, or I'm going to lose my goddamn fucking mind. Well, all right, ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of our show. We'll talk to you again tomorrow. Oh, there's Devon.
 
-DEVIN: Oh, man, an exam? That's rough. Good luck tomorrow, Luke. You've got this. I barely passed my comms finals at NMSU by pulling all nighters with nothing but Mountain Dew and this one dream catcher my grandma made that I hung over my desk. Seriously, crush it and hit me up if you need any last minute flash cards for your pilot's license or something. You've got this, Luke. No way you bomb after killing it on air tonight. Hit the hay, man, and text me if you need last minute flashcards or whatever. Night.
+DEVON: Oh, man, an exam? That's rough. Good luck tomorrow, Luke. You've got this. I barely passed my comms finals at NMSU by pulling all nighters with nothing but Mountain Dew and this one dream catcher my grandma made that I hung over my desk. Seriously, crush it and hit me up if you need any last minute flash cards for your pilot's license or something. You've got this, Luke. No way you bomb after killing it on air tonight. Hit the hay, man, and text me if you need last minute flashcards or whatever. Night.
 
 LUKE: Wow, maybe they were right about the flickering lights. Jesus. That was pretty weird. Okay, everybody have a good night. We're taking off and we'll talk to you again tomorrow. tomorrow.

website/transcripts/episode-52-dexter-s-construction-corner-and-the-whistleblower-s-dilemma.txt

@@ -1,22 +1,22 @@
-LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back. I'm Luke. I'm your host of Luke at the Roost. It's the late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's going on in your life. I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, April 16th. It's actually kind of cold out here in the New Mexico desert. But we're getting by, just fine. I got to remember tomorrow to go get some propane before I, I run out, I keep thinking it's going to be warm at night and it keeps not being that warm at night. But it's okay. We're going to get through it anyway because that's just what we do. Let's, well, before we check in with our intern here, I just want to let you know if you'd like to call in, the number here is 208-439-58-3-3. That's 208-439, Luke. If you're not into talking on the phone or you're not whoever it is that you're sleeping next to, you can send us an email, and if we think that email is worthy, we'll read it on the air. Send emails to submissions at lukeatsherust.com. Now let's check in with our intern, Devin. Devin, how's it going over there? You ready for a show tonight, buddy?
+LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back. I'm Luke. I'm your host of Luke at the Roost. It's the late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's going on in your life. I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, April 16th. It's actually kind of cold out here in the New Mexico desert. But we're getting by, just fine. I got to remember tomorrow to go get some propane before I, I run out, I keep thinking it's going to be warm at night and it keeps not being that warm at night. But it's okay. We're going to get through it anyway because that's just what we do. Let's, well, before we check in with our intern here, I just want to let you know if you'd like to call in, the number here is 208-439-58-3-3. That's 208-439, Luke. If you're not into talking on the phone or you're not whoever it is that you're sleeping next to, you can send us an email, and if we think that email is worthy, we'll read it on the air. Send emails to submissions at lukeatsherust.com. Now let's check in with our intern, Devon. Devon, how's it going over there? You ready for a show tonight, buddy?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, going good over here, Luke. Systems are all green. I double-checked the playlist and pulled up some fresh stats on last week's top callers just in case. That reminds me, that girl from the bar last night, but she hasn't replied yet. Anyway, we're locked and loaded for the show.
+DEVON: Yeah, going good over here, Luke. Systems are all green. I double-checked the playlist and pulled up some fresh stats on last week's top callers just in case. That reminds me, that girl from the bar last night, but she hasn't replied yet. Anyway, we're locked and loaded for the show.
 
 LUKE: Oh, the girl from the bar last night. Tell us about this girl from the bar. What is she like? Did you have yourselves a conversation, or what's the deal? How did you get her number?
 
-DEVIN: So basically, she was this brunette with these huge hoop earrings, sitting alone, nursing of vodka soda. And I noticed she had this tattoo of a cassette tape on her wrist. Turned out she's obsessed with old mixtapes from the 90s. We talked for like an hour about late night radio shows, which felt like fate since I'm here every night, and I joked about how my ex used to make me custom tapes before she ghosted me after that whole road trip fiasco. I just asked for her number straight up at the end, like, hey, text me if you want to hear the show sometime. And Ed and gave it over, fingers crossed, she replies before I chicken out and delete the message.
+DEVON: So basically, she was this brunette with these huge hoop earrings, sitting alone, nursing of vodka soda. And I noticed she had this tattoo of a cassette tape on her wrist. Turned out she's obsessed with old mixtapes from the 90s. We talked for like an hour about late night radio shows, which felt like fate since I'm here every night, and I joked about how my ex used to make me custom tapes before she ghosted me after that whole road trip fiasco. I just asked for her number straight up at the end, like, hey, text me if you want to hear the show sometime. And Ed and gave it over, fingers crossed, she replies before I chicken out and delete the message.
 
 LUKE: Well, you can't really delete the message now. You only have like 10 seconds to delete the message. I mean, you can delete the message, but it's just going to delete it from your phone, and she's still going to see it. and then you're going to get a text from a weird brunette in the middle of the night, you know, weeks from now and not know who it is. Don't delete the message. That's crazy. But good for you for putting yourself out there, and hopefully something comes to that.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, you're probably right. Last time I tried deleting a text like that, it just made everything worse because she screenshotsed it first and sent it to her friends. Thanks, though, man. Means a lot. Anyway, board's looking good. First calls queued up whenever you're ready.
+DEVON: Yeah, you're probably right. Last time I tried deleting a text like that, it just made everything worse because she screenshotsed it first and sent it to her friends. Thanks, though, man. Means a lot. Anyway, board's looking good. First calls queued up whenever you're ready.
 
-LUKE: Whoa. What did she screen? screenshot and send to our friends. What was the message, Devin?
+LUKE: Whoa. What did she screen? screenshot and send to our friends. What was the message, Devon?
 
-DEVIN: Oh, man, it was this super needy text I sent at like 2 a.m. after we had broken up. Something like, hey, I know we said it was over, but that dream I had about the storage unit last night made me realize, I missed the way you'd hum along to those tapes while we were stuck in there. She screenshotsed the whole rambling paragraph, sent it to her group chat calling me the mixed tape psycho, and I only found out months later when her friend accidentally texted me back. Anyway, lesson learned, no deleting. Just own it, right? Board's still clear over here if you want to take that first call.
+DEVON: Oh, man, it was this super needy text I sent at like 2 a.m. after we had broken up. Something like, hey, I know we said it was over, but that dream I had about the storage unit last night made me realize, I missed the way you'd hum along to those tapes while we were stuck in there. She screenshotsed the whole rambling paragraph, sent it to her group chat calling me the mixed tape psycho, and I only found out months later when her friend accidentally texted me back. Anyway, lesson learned, no deleting. Just own it, right? Board's still clear over here if you want to take that first call.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, we'll take the call in a second. I want to know what was on the mixtape, Devin. Tell us, what was she humming along to? Did you make this mixtape for her, or did she make it from you? And what was the contents of said mixtape?
+LUKE: Yeah, we'll take the call in a second. I want to know what was on the mixtape, Devon. Tell us, what was she humming along to? Did you make this mixtape for her, or did she make it from you? And what was the contents of said mixtape?
 
-DEVIN: She made the mixtape for me, actually. It was this weird 90s nostalgia thing with tracks like Wonderwall by Oasis, No Rain by Blind Melon. because she said a reminder of that time we got lost driving back from her cousin's wedding in truth or consequences. I think she was humming along to no rain in the storage unit, the one with the Blind Melon B Girl video. We've been locked in there after trying to borrow some of her old furniture for our apartment, and it was like three days of just eating stale granola bars and playing it on my phone until the battery died. Kind of romantic in a desperate way, if that makes sense. If you want to hit it.
+DEVON: She made the mixtape for me, actually. It was this weird 90s nostalgia thing with tracks like Wonderwall by Oasis, No Rain by Blind Melon. because she said a reminder of that time we got lost driving back from her cousin's wedding in truth or consequences. I think she was humming along to no rain in the storage unit, the one with the Blind Melon B Girl video. We've been locked in there after trying to borrow some of her old furniture for our apartment, and it was like three days of just eating stale granola bars and playing it on my phone until the battery died. Kind of romantic in a desperate way, if that makes sense. If you want to hit it.
 
 LUKE: Yep, I definitely want to do because I don't want to hear any more of that. But good luck with your brunette. So first up on our color line here, we have Dexter. Dexter, welcome to the show. Hopefully I've got the names right now. Our last show had some technical difficulties. Is your name actually Dexter? And what are you calling in for tonight, sir?
 
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ LUKE: All right, buddy. Well, I'm not calling you a criminal. I'm calling Caldwe
 
 DEXTER: Yeah, okay, I hear you. And honestly, that's what scares me most. Not losing the job, losing my family. But here's the thing. My neighbor, he's a cop, detective with the city police. I haven't told him anything yet, but I'm thinking maybe I should. If I go to him first, if I make an official report, then it's not just me anymore. It's documented with the police. That's got to count for something, right?
 
-LUKE: It depends on how much they're paying the police. It's true that construction workers have specific whistleblower protection. protections, especially when reporting unsafe conditions or fraud. And OSHA enforces those protections. Yeah, you know what? If it were me, I would, we're going to assume that Dexter is not your real name. Okay? You called in with a fake name. I called you Dexter. And maybe Devin fucked up the caller list and we got the names wrong. And that's all. So you're just a guy that called into the radio. You're not Dexter. Nobody knows who Dexter is. I think the best way to hear you. handle this is for an anonymous tip to go out to the press, not to the police, to the press, and let the press send their investigators and deal with it. And the police will read about it, you know? So keep yourself as far away from this as possible without keeping your mouth shut, because it's not right to keep your mouth shut either.
+LUKE: It depends on how much they're paying the police. It's true that construction workers have specific whistleblower protection. protections, especially when reporting unsafe conditions or fraud. And OSHA enforces those protections. Yeah, you know what? If it were me, I would, we're going to assume that Dexter is not your real name. Okay? You called in with a fake name. I called you Dexter. And maybe Devon fucked up the caller list and we got the names wrong. And that's all. So you're just a guy that called into the radio. You're not Dexter. Nobody knows who Dexter is. I think the best way to hear you. handle this is for an anonymous tip to go out to the press, not to the police, to the press, and let the press send their investigators and deal with it. And the police will read about it, you know? So keep yourself as far away from this as possible without keeping your mouth shut, because it's not right to keep your mouth shut either.
 
 DEXTER: You know, what? That actually makes sense. Yeah, go to the press first. Stay anonymous. Let them do the digging. Then when the cops get involved, it's because the story's already out there, not because I went running to them. That protects me and my family better than being the guy who's snitched, right? The press has resources they can investigate properly without me having to be the face of it. But Luke, I got to ask, how do I even do that? Do I just call the newspaper? Email them?
 
@@ -124,7 +124,7 @@ LUKE: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's how it works. because if you were wor
 
 HECTOR: Right. Okay. I get it. I do. But here's what's eating at me. I wasn't content, Luke. I was just stuck. And now I know what I could be making. That's different. That's not the same as before. I'm actually seeing a lot of articles about how wage stagnation for long-term employees is a really get better offers because companies are trying to attract talent at current market rates.
 
-LUKE: Yeah, I don't really know what to tell you that I haven't already told you. I know this is the case. Everybody knows this is the case. It's designed this way. And now that you know, if you want to level set your salary with the current market rates, it's time to leave your job. You can talk to your boss. He's going to tell you to go fuck yourself. And you have to go find another job that's trying to attract talent. like Devin said, that's how it works. And I don't have anything else to add to this conversation. It doesn't really matter how you feel about it or how shocked you are by it. It's just the way that the capitalism works.
+LUKE: Yeah, I don't really know what to tell you that I haven't already told you. I know this is the case. Everybody knows this is the case. It's designed this way. And now that you know, if you want to level set your salary with the current market rates, it's time to leave your job. You can talk to your boss. He's going to tell you to go fuck yourself. And you have to go find another job that's trying to attract talent. like Devon said, that's how it works. And I don't have anything else to add to this conversation. It doesn't really matter how you feel about it or how shocked you are by it. It's just the way that the capitalism works.
 
 HECTOR: Yeah, yeah. I hear you. I get it. The system's the system. I'm not stupid, Luke. I know I got to look around. I guess I just needed to say it out loud, you know?
 
@@ -338,14 +338,14 @@ PATRICE: Consulting. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense. That actually makes a lot o
 
 LUKE: Maybe it is. Maybe it's not. Give it a shot. See how it works out. And maybe if you're lucky and you get to come back to corporate America, jobs still exist in six months. But we don't know about that. So that's going to be the end of our show, folks.
 
-LUKE: It wasn't particularly exciting. I didn't feel very emotionally invested in any of these callers. I thought they were all pretty dull and drab and definitely didn't have good reasons to call a radio show, but they can't all be the best show, you know? So, Devin, what did you think about the show?
+LUKE: It wasn't particularly exciting. I didn't feel very emotionally invested in any of these callers. I thought they were all pretty dull and drab and definitely didn't have good reasons to call a radio show, but they can't all be the best show, you know? So, Devon, what did you think about the show?
 
-DEVIN: I thought it was pretty shitty.
+DEVON: I thought it was pretty shitty.
 
 LUKE: Nah, I actually thought it was solid tonight. Those job market collars were gold. are going to relate hard to that age discrimination stuff. Kind of reminds me of when my uncle got restructured out of his gig at the tire plant and ended up breeding those weird hairless cats for a living. Anyway, beats a slow night of dead air, right? What part felt off to you?
 
-DEVIN: It felt a little bit cliche, and none of the calls really had much emotional value to me. It was just normal people with normal people shit calling a radio show. It was fine, but it wasn't exciting. There was no aliens. there were no crazy callers or Silas wasn't around. So I don't know. I just thought it was kind of dull.
+DEVON: It felt a little bit cliche, and none of the calls really had much emotional value to me. It was just normal people with normal people shit calling a radio show. It was fine, but it wasn't exciting. There was no aliens. there were no crazy callers or Silas wasn't around. So I don't know. I just thought it was kind of dull.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I get that no aliens or Silas does leave a hole. Those nights are like fireworks. But honestly, the normal people stuff hits different sometimes, you know? Like that, one lady talking about her resume black hole, I bet half the listeners were nodding along going, that's me. We could always amp it up next time with a theme or something wild. What if we did an alien job hunts? segment.
 
-DEVIN: Maybe that's what we'll do, but we'll see what we do for the next show, but ladies and gentlemen, thanks for tuning in to another episode of Luke at the Roost, and we will talk to you again, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a couple days, whenever we feel like it, because that's how we roll. Bye-bye.
+DEVON: Maybe that's what we'll do, but we'll see what we do for the next show, but ladies and gentlemen, thanks for tuning in to another episode of Luke at the Roost, and we will talk to you again, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a couple days, whenever we feel like it, because that's how we roll. Bye-bye.

website/transcripts/episode-53-the-hospice-nurse-s-impossible-choice.txt

@@ -1,22 +1,22 @@
-LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's on your mind. Doesn't matter what it is. If you'd like to give us a call, the number here is 208-439-58-3-3. That's 208-439 Luke. If you would like to participate in the show, but you're not in your phone or for whatever reason, you're shy, or something like that, you could send us an email to submissions at lukeats the roost.com. And if we think they're good enough, we'll play them on the air. So two different ways to participate in the show here. Give us a call or send us an email, and we'll get to whatever it is that's eaten you. Today is Tuesday, April 28th. It's been a while since we did a show. I was out of town, and let's see what's going on with our intern here. Hey, Devin, Devin, welcome back to the show. I've been out of town for a while. I went down to Alpine, Texas, out there by Big Ben National Park. And I bought a house. So we're going to move the studio to Alpine, Texas. So Sayanara, New Mexico, hopefully. I mean, it takes a little while for one of these house sale-type things to go through. And there's a lot of things that can hold it up. But the plan is we're going to move the studio. to Alpine, Texas. How do you feel about the commute?
+LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to Luke at the Roost. It's your late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's on your mind. Doesn't matter what it is. If you'd like to give us a call, the number here is 208-439-58-3-3. That's 208-439 Luke. If you would like to participate in the show, but you're not in your phone or for whatever reason, you're shy, or something like that, you could send us an email to submissions at lukeats the roost.com. And if we think they're good enough, we'll play them on the air. So two different ways to participate in the show here. Give us a call or send us an email, and we'll get to whatever it is that's eaten you. Today is Tuesday, April 28th. It's been a while since we did a show. I was out of town, and let's see what's going on with our intern here. Hey, Devon, Devon, welcome back to the show. I've been out of town for a while. I went down to Alpine, Texas, out there by Big Ben National Park. And I bought a house. So we're going to move the studio to Alpine, Texas. So Sayanara, New Mexico, hopefully. I mean, it takes a little while for one of these house sale-type things to go through. And there's a lot of things that can hold it up. But the plan is we're going to move the studio. to Alpine, Texas. How do you feel about the commute?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah? Oh, man. Alpine's like 320 miles from Deming. That's a solid five-hour drive each way in my Civic. The check engine lights been blinking at me like a Morse code warning for months now. I'd basically have to live in the car or find a place down there, which, yeah, my landlord's already talking about selling my studio anyway, so maybe it's a sign. If that makes sense.
+DEVON: Yeah? Oh, man. Alpine's like 320 miles from Deming. That's a solid five-hour drive each way in my Civic. The check engine lights been blinking at me like a Morse code warning for months now. I'd basically have to live in the car or find a place down there, which, yeah, my landlord's already talking about selling my studio anyway, so maybe it's a sign. If that makes sense.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, but I mean, it's a five-hour commute each way, and you're a dedicated intern, so it's not something that you can't withstand, right? You like doing the show. You're in for it, right?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I mean, I do love the show. It's the best part of my week, honestly. But 10 hours round trip every day, that's like driving to El Paso and back twice. And my Civic's already on life support. I'd end up living out of a motel or something, which I guess I've done worse, but you think we could maybe help with that?
+DEVON: Yeah, I mean, I do love the show. It's the best part of my week, honestly. But 10 hours round trip every day, that's like driving to El Paso and back twice. And my Civic's already on life support. I'd end up living out of a motel or something, which I guess I've done worse, but you think we could maybe help with that?
 
 LUKE: Define help, my friend. What do you mean by
 
-DEVIN: juzzling oil like crazy, or maybe help scouting a cheap room or motel down there. I mean, I'm in whatever it takes, but 10 hours a day behind the wheel, I basically turn into a human gas station receipt, you know?
+DEVON: juzzling oil like crazy, or maybe help scouting a cheap room or motel down there. I mean, I'm in whatever it takes, but 10 hours a day behind the wheel, I basically turn into a human gas station receipt, you know?
 
 LUKE: I know, but I mean, for the sake of the show, sometimes you have to make sacrifices. I understand that it might be difficult, but you are an unpaid intern, so gas money's not something that's going to come your way from this show. Maybe we can throw it out to the listeners, and one of them might have like an RV. V or a teepee or something out there that you can stay out. I mean, land is really cheap out in Tirlingua. You can stay out there in the desert. You're going to have to bring your own water and shit in a bucket, but I think for the show, it's worth it.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I get it. Sacrifices for the show. I've slept in worse than a bucket set up before. Like, that time I couch surfed in a guy's van for a month after my roommate ghosted with the rent money. Throwing it out to listeners sounds solid, though. Maybe someone's got a spare T-P or something in Tirlingua. I could look up land prices real quick if you want, see what's cheap out there. I'm down, boss. Whatever keeps Luke at the roost rolling.
+DEVON: Yeah, I get it. Sacrifices for the show. I've slept in worse than a bucket set up before. Like, that time I couch surfed in a guy's van for a month after my roommate ghosted with the rent money. Throwing it out to listeners sounds solid, though. Maybe someone's got a spare T-P or something in Tirlingua. I could look up land prices real quick if you want, see what's cheap out there. I'm down, boss. Whatever keeps Luke at the roost rolling.
 
-LUKE: That's what we like to hear. And that's why you're the intern we picked, because you'll do what it takes to make sure that we have a great show. Are you ready to have a great show tonight, Devin?
+LUKE: That's what we like to hear. And that's why you're the intern we picked, because you'll do what it takes to make sure that we have a great show. Are you ready to have a great show tonight, Devon?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, thanks. I mean, that means a lot, boss. Totally ready. Lines are lighting up already, and I've got that thing for last week's collar pulled up in case they ring back. Let's crush it tonight.
+DEVON: Yeah, thanks. I mean, that means a lot, boss. Totally ready. Lines are lighting up already, and I've got that thing for last week's collar pulled up in case they ring back. Let's crush it tonight.
 
 LUKE: All right, let's crush it. First up on our color line here, we've got Deb. Deb, welcome to the show. Thanks for calling in. What can we help you with tonight? What's going on in your life?
 
@@ -140,9 +140,9 @@ LUKE: No, it ain't. I take no responsibility for your tears, sir. I didn't do an
 
 CALLER: You're right. You didn't do any check fraud. That's a low bar, but I appreciate you clearing it. No, but seriously, thank you. I didn't know what I needed out of this call, and I think I got it anyway.
 
-LUKE: All right, well, you know, I clear all my checks, sir. That's a rule that I like to live by. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for a word. from our sponsors. I'm just going to say it. Your penis isn't working. I said it. It's out there now. The word is in the air. We're all adults. Some of us are adults whose penises work, and some of us are adults who are listening very carefully right now while pretending to adjust the radio so the person in the passenger seat doesn't see their face. It's fine. It happens to, and this is the real number, roughly half of all men over 40 at some point. You're not special. You're not broken. You're not the first guy this happened to and you're not going to be the last. You're just the guy it's happening to right now and right now you have two options. Option one, do nothing. Keep staring at the ceiling. Keep blaming the altitude, the stress, the medication, the alignment of mercury, the fact that you ate dairy, none of which are the problem. Option two, sandstone. $45. literally heard everything and will not flinch. Medication that works, a box that reveals nothing, and the ability to walk into your bedroom like a man who handled his business instead of a man who's about to suggest watching another episode of something. Sandstone, I said the word. You heard the word. Now go to the website. All right. Well, Devin, Devin, you sound like a Czech fraud perpetrating motherfucker. Have you ever done any sort of financial fraud like that?
+LUKE: All right, well, you know, I clear all my checks, sir. That's a rule that I like to live by. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for a word. from our sponsors. I'm just going to say it. Your penis isn't working. I said it. It's out there now. The word is in the air. We're all adults. Some of us are adults whose penises work, and some of us are adults who are listening very carefully right now while pretending to adjust the radio so the person in the passenger seat doesn't see their face. It's fine. It happens to, and this is the real number, roughly half of all men over 40 at some point. You're not special. You're not broken. You're not the first guy this happened to and you're not going to be the last. You're just the guy it's happening to right now and right now you have two options. Option one, do nothing. Keep staring at the ceiling. Keep blaming the altitude, the stress, the medication, the alignment of mercury, the fact that you ate dairy, none of which are the problem. Option two, sandstone. $45. literally heard everything and will not flinch. Medication that works, a box that reveals nothing, and the ability to walk into your bedroom like a man who handled his business instead of a man who's about to suggest watching another episode of something. Sandstone, I said the word. You heard the word. Now go to the website. All right. Well, Devon, Devon, you sound like a Czech fraud perpetrating motherfucker. Have you ever done any sort of financial fraud like that?
 
-DEVIN: No, man. Never touched check fraud or anything like that. I'm way too paranoid about paper trails after my uncle got pinched for some pyramid scheme back in high school and dragged the whole family into depositions. I mean, I did once write a bad check to my ex for like 50 bucks when we were splitting a couch, but that was just straight up broke, not fraud. And I paid it back with interest for my first radio gig. Swear on my civics check engine light.
+DEVON: No, man. Never touched check fraud or anything like that. I'm way too paranoid about paper trails after my uncle got pinched for some pyramid scheme back in high school and dragged the whole family into depositions. I mean, I did once write a bad check to my ex for like 50 bucks when we were splitting a couch, but that was just straight up broke, not fraud. And I paid it back with interest for my first radio gig. Swear on my civics check engine light.
 
 LUKE: All right. Well, next up on the caller line, we've got Sheila. Sheila, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?
 
@@ -242,9 +242,9 @@ CALLER: The lake he used to show me, the place where the physics teacher proved
 
 LUKE: Well, there you go. Make yourself a video doing just that. And other people might have the same experience that you did. and it might change their life for the better, at least make them sound a lot less stupid to other people. And that's a good thing. So ladies and gentlemen, now it is time for another word from our sponsors. Reading is dead. You killed it. But you can pretend you're literate with script drift. The audiobook service for people who start books and never finish them. We have thousands of titles you'll sample for 11 minutes before switching to a change. true crime podcast. Our app remembers exactly where you abandoned sapiens eight months ago, waiting patiently like a disappointed parent. ScriptDrift uses advanced AI to recommend books based on your aspirations, not your actual follow-through.
 
-LUKE: This month's suggestion, a 400-page philosophy text you'll listen to while doing the dishes and retain nothing. Try Script-Drift free for 30 days. Use code pretentious for two months at 60% off. Script-Drift. Your goodreads profile is a lie. Is goodreads still a thing? People still use that? I don't know. I don't read. I never learned. But I remember Goodreads being like a place that tracks what books you've read and you can leave reviews and stuff. And that's how people figure out what their next book should move. I don't know. Is Goodread? Hold on. Let's ask Dev. Devin, is Goodreads still a thing?
+LUKE: This month's suggestion, a 400-page philosophy text you'll listen to while doing the dishes and retain nothing. Try Script-Drift free for 30 days. Use code pretentious for two months at 60% off. Script-Drift. Your goodreads profile is a lie. Is goodreads still a thing? People still use that? I don't know. I don't read. I never learned. But I remember Goodreads being like a place that tracks what books you've read and you can leave reviews and stuff. And that's how people figure out what their next book should move. I don't know. Is Goodread? Hold on. Let's ask Dev. Devon, is Goodreads still a thing?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah. Goodreads is totally still. still a thing. It's owned by Amazon, has millions of users tracking books, writing reviews, and making reading lists, sites up inactive right now.
+DEVON: Yeah. Goodreads is totally still. still a thing. It's owned by Amazon, has millions of users tracking books, writing reviews, and making reading lists, sites up inactive right now.
 
 LUKE: Oh, you know, we know. Okay. Next up on the line, we've got Renata. Renata, thanks for calling in. What's going on in your life tonight?
 

website/transcripts/episode-54-deb-s-roadrunner-and-the-hospice-nurse-s-dilemma.txt

@@ -1,38 +1,38 @@
-LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's your late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and ask me about whatever's going on in your life. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Tuesday, May 5th, Cinco de Mayo. Happy Cinco de Mayo to all my celebrating friends out there. Let's see, it's about 11 o'clock tonight. Let's see if Devin's ready to get this show on the road. Hey, Devin, you there? You ready for the show tonight, buddy?
+LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's your late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and ask me about whatever's going on in your life. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Tuesday, May 5th, Cinco de Mayo. Happy Cinco de Mayo to all my celebrating friends out there. Let's see, it's about 11 o'clock tonight. Let's see if Devon's ready to get this show on the road. Hey, Devon, you there? You ready for the show tonight, buddy?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I'm here. Totally ready. Got my notes from last night pulled up, and I even fixed that weird static on the backup mic. You want me to queue up the weather or anything before we go live?
+DEVON: Yeah, I'm here. Totally ready. Got my notes from last night pulled up, and I even fixed that weird static on the backup mic. You want me to queue up the weather or anything before we go live?
 
 LUKE: No, I don't think so. I can see out the window what the weather is. It's windy. It's kind of cold here in New Mexico. How is your weekend?
 
-DEVIN: My weekend was all right. Doc about the guy who faked his own death with a hot air balloon, which ironically made me checked by smoke detectors, like, three times. Tried hitting up this bar in Las Cruces Saturday night, hoping to meet someone, but ended up talking to the bartender about conspiracy theories for two hours instead. You catch the game or anything?
+DEVON: My weekend was all right. Doc about the guy who faked his own death with a hot air balloon, which ironically made me checked by smoke detectors, like, three times. Tried hitting up this bar in Las Cruces Saturday night, hoping to meet someone, but ended up talking to the bartender about conspiracy theories for two hours instead. You catch the game or anything?
 
 LUKE: No, man. I don't do games. I'm sorry, you struck out there over there at the old Las Cruces bar. I don't know that that's... I guess it's a better place than Animus to meet somebody if that's what you're trying to do. to do that. Sounds like a headache to me. Um, anyway, well, I'm glad you had a decent weekend and now you're protected against, uh, any catastrophic fires that might happen in your apartment. Are you ready to move down to Alpine yet?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, Anamis is a total vibe killer anyway. Last time I was there, some guy tried to sell me a haunted cactus. Moving to Alpine? Not yet. My studio lease is up in like two months and the landlord's talking about flipping the place. So I've been eyeing some spots down there, all my weird junk again after that time. I lived in my cousin's garage for six months. Anyway, show's looking good tonight?
+DEVON: Yeah, Anamis is a total vibe killer anyway. Last time I was there, some guy tried to sell me a haunted cactus. Moving to Alpine? Not yet. My studio lease is up in like two months and the landlord's talking about flipping the place. So I've been eyeing some spots down there, all my weird junk again after that time. I lived in my cousin's garage for six months. Anyway, show's looking good tonight?
 
 LUKE: Yep, the show's looking good. Yeah, I went down to Alpine this last week to get the home inspection report because I'm buying a house there and the home inspection went very well. There is nothing catastrophically wrong. It's the second time I've used catastrophic today. It's a good word. Maybe we'll hear that more throughout the night as the night unfolds. There's some small stuff that's got to be taken care of, but nothing that was deal-breaking. So we're moving forward, and we should close on that place at the end of the month. And we're moving down to Alpine, so get ready. Pack your stuff.
 
-DEVIN: Whoa, that's awesome. Congrats on the house, man. End of the month closed sounds smooth, especially with no big red flags from the inspection. Sucks about the packing, though. I feel that. My civics trunk barely fits my mattress, as it is. You need me to scout any spots down there or pull up moving truck rates or anything?
+DEVON: Whoa, that's awesome. Congrats on the house, man. End of the month closed sounds smooth, especially with no big red flags from the inspection. Sucks about the packing, though. I feel that. My civics trunk barely fits my mattress, as it is. You need me to scout any spots down there or pull up moving truck rates or anything?
 
 LUKE: I got the trailer to put all my stuff in to move it up there, but I gotta wait for clothes before we can do that. And I'm gonna need furniture. That's a thing. You got any extra furniture there that would fit the Southwestern decor?
 
-DEVIN: Nah, man, my place is basically furnished with thrift store rejects. A sagging futon from college that's seen better days and a coffee table made out of an old door I found behind the station. Nothing southwestern about it unless you count the dream catcher. My aunt sent me after that peyote thing in high school. list or Facebook marketplace for you though pull up some listings if you want solid cowboy core stuff yeah
+DEVON: Nah, man, my place is basically furnished with thrift store rejects. A sagging futon from college that's seen better days and a coffee table made out of an old door I found behind the station. Nothing southwestern about it unless you count the dream catcher. My aunt sent me after that peyote thing in high school. list or Facebook marketplace for you though pull up some listings if you want solid cowboy core stuff yeah
 
 LUKE: I already did that see the thing is here in an MS and an alpine there's really not much of a marketplace there's there's not much going on there I think it's gonna have to be Ikea specials and even that's pretty far away so I'll be ordering some furniture and a bed and stuff like that and it's kind of important I need at least a bed and a desk and a table. But it's kind of a pain in the ass because I've got to pack up all my stuff and move it over there. And once I get it there, there's no furniture to put stuff in.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, the chicken and egg thing with packing into empty rooms is the worst. Reminds me of when I moved into the studio and slept on the floor for a week waiting for my air mattress to show up from Amazon. El Paso's got that Ekea, but delivery to Alprine might not be cheap. You want me to check shipping costs local spots like ranch supply stores that do furniture? I can pull up some options quick.
+DEVON: Yeah, the chicken and egg thing with packing into empty rooms is the worst. Reminds me of when I moved into the studio and slept on the floor for a week waiting for my air mattress to show up from Amazon. El Paso's got that Ekea, but delivery to Alprine might not be cheap. You want me to check shipping costs local spots like ranch supply stores that do furniture? I can pull up some options quick.
 
 LUKE: No, is there an IKEA in El Paso? I don't think there is. I think there's one up in like Odessa, maybe. I've looked, I didn't see anything that would work very well. And there's a furniture store in Alpine that I went and checked out, but everything there is very expensive because it's like real furniture. And I'm not buying all that stuff new. Fuck that.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, you're right. No full IKEA. in El Paso, just a pickup point near the airport on Lee Fisher Boulevard if you're ordering online. Closest actual stores are way east, like in San Antonio or Round Rock. Marketplace has some used stuff popping up around Alpine and Marfa, though, like bed frames and desks for cheap. And there's Mitchell's furniture, right, in Alpine, that might have more affordable basics than the fancy real stuff.
+DEVON: Yeah, you're right. No full IKEA. in El Paso, just a pickup point near the airport on Lee Fisher Boulevard if you're ordering online. Closest actual stores are way east, like in San Antonio or Round Rock. Marketplace has some used stuff popping up around Alpine and Marfa, though, like bed frames and desks for cheap. And there's Mitchell's furniture, right, in Alpine, that might have more affordable basics than the fancy real stuff.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, well, that's what I said. I went to the Mitchells, and I looked, and they don't have more affordable basics. I'm not doing that. But we'll get it figured out. I'm not too worried about it. I've got like 18 air mattresses, so we'll be just fine. Just got to make sure there's a desk to put the studio gear on and we can continue the show as we do because we can't leave the people waiting. That's what I say is that the show must go on.
 
-DEVIN: 18 air mattresses? Man, that's like a flotation device factory, way better than my one that deflates by morning. Desk makes total sense, though, priority one for the gear. You want me to dig up some budget desks on Marketplace or shipping from that El Paso pickup spot? I can narrow it down quick.
+DEVON: 18 air mattresses? Man, that's like a flotation device factory, way better than my one that deflates by morning. Desk makes total sense, though, priority one for the gear. You want me to dig up some budget desks on Marketplace or shipping from that El Paso pickup spot? I can narrow it down quick.
 
 LUKE: Nope, the desk is the only thing I've got all speced out and ready to go. I'm going to ship it there once I get there, and it's a nice sit-stand desk, because I have to have that. And that's the most important piece of furniture. I don't need a bed. I don't need a kitchen table, but I do need a sit-stand desk. That's key.
 
-DEVIN: Sit-stand desk is the real MVP here. Total game-changer for long nights. Way better than 100. punching over like I do on this folding table. Skipping the bed makes sense with your air fortress, man. Studio gear first, everything else. Second, the show must go on.
+DEVON: Sit-stand desk is the real MVP here. Total game-changer for long nights. Way better than 100. punching over like I do on this folding table. Skipping the bed makes sense with your air fortress, man. Studio gear first, everything else. Second, the show must go on.
 
 LUKE: And that's right. So let's get on with the show. And our first up on our collar line here, we've got Deb. Deb, Deb, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life tonight? What would you like to talk about?
 
@@ -242,7 +242,7 @@ RENATA: And if anyone ever looked into it, and they would. A cold case reopened
 
 LUKE: I just looked up Desert Father's Prayer Circle. And it seems like it's a reference to a historical group of Christian ascetics, but there are also modern prayer groups and online communities that use the name, which makes sense. for a Facebook group? I don't think if an anonymous tip is called in to, they call a newspaper. To a newspaper, like in season five of HBO's hit series The Wire, I don't think they're going to come looking at the defendant's attorney as the source of that tip. That doesn't make any sense. So sure, they're going to scrutinize it, but it makes absolutely no sense. for them to suspect that it was you that made that tip.
 
-RENATA: Luke, I live in a small town. I was his lawyer. I am the only person on earth who had both the motive and the knowledge to make that call. Small town prosecutors aren't stupid. And Devin? Yes, that's exactly what it is. Fourteen elderly men using it as a prayer group. Except one of them has been using it to confess to a murder for years and apparently nobody in that group. group has said a word about it, which tells me either they don't believe him or they do and they're protecting him.
+RENATA: Luke, I live in a small town. I was his lawyer. I am the only person on earth who had both the motive and the knowledge to make that call. Small town prosecutors aren't stupid. And Devon? Yes, that's exactly what it is. Fourteen elderly men using it as a prayer group. Except one of them has been using it to confess to a murder for years and apparently nobody in that group. group has said a word about it, which tells me either they don't believe him or they do and they're protecting him.
 
 LUKE: Well, I have another idea for you. I don't know if you've ever seen Showtimes hit series Dexter, but it's about a serial killer who suppresses his urges by only acting out against other serial killers. So maybe that's the way that you can take this off the books and deal with justice in your own hands. You know, maybe you've got to lure this guy into a lot of. a warehouse and get some plastic sheeting and everything and tie them down and, you know, do what you got to do.
 
@@ -282,13 +282,13 @@ LUKE: Yeah, you are, and you know it. And the first thing you said when you call
 
 RENATA: Good day, ma'am.
 
-LUKE: Oh, Devin, I did not like her. I did not like her one bit.
+LUKE: Oh, Devon, I did not like her. I did not like her one bit.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, she gave me kind of the same vibe like she was holding back something huge. Reminds me of this one girl I dated who was a public defender. Turned out she was a public defender. was just using me to practice her closing arguments on our fights, which was intense.
+DEVON: Yeah, she gave me kind of the same vibe like she was holding back something huge. Reminds me of this one girl I dated who was a public defender. Turned out she was a public defender. was just using me to practice her closing arguments on our fights, which was intense.
 
 LUKE: You think she'll call back? I hope not. Can you block that lady? Do you got a number? Can you know what? You should call the, you should call an anonymous tip about her as a potential suspect in the murder.
 
-DEVIN: No, Luke, I don't screen calls, so no number or anything. Blocking's not really a thing here either. We're live radio. And an anonymous tip that'd probably just loop back to her suing us for defamation or something.
+DEVON: No, Luke, I don't screen calls, so no number or anything. Blocking's not really a thing here either. We're live radio. And an anonymous tip that'd probably just loop back to her suing us for defamation or something.
 
 LUKE: All right. Well, she is a fucking lawyer, so we don't want to mess with her. All right. We're actually going pretty late tonight, so we're going to take one more call. That's it. It's a short number of calls. These were long ones. These were tough ones. All right. So who's next? Let's see. I don't even know how to pronounce this name. We're going to talk to Maira? Am I saying that right? Welcome to the show. What's going on? How do you pronounce your name?
 
@@ -344,8 +344,8 @@ LUKE: I don't know how many different ways I can tell you that's not what happen
 
 MAIRA: Maybe. Maybe you're right. But I responded tonight for the first time in eight months. I have 34 texts saved with my own notes about what they might mean. That's not nothing about me either. I know that. I know what that says about me. But I typed, I'm here, and the number died, and I'm calling a radio show at whatever time it is. So clearly something in me needed this to be real enough to reach toward.
 
-LUKE: All right. Well, you have a good night and try not to answer any weird texts on your phone because that's not good. Devin, this was a weird show. We had a couple of strange calls here. They were pretty frustrating. What did you think about tonight's show?
+LUKE: All right. Well, you have a good night and try not to answer any weird texts on your phone because that's not good. Devon, this was a weird show. We had a couple of strange calls here. They were pretty frustrating. What did you think about tonight's show?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, it was super weird. Like that wrong number of grief thing felt like it came straight out of some. late night Reddit thread. The calls were frustrating, but kind of kept it unpredictable. Which I like, beats dead air, you know. That reminds me of this one time I answered a random Craigslist ad thinking it was for a job, but it turned out to be some guy's elaborate escape room in his basement. Anyway, solid show overall. I think people were into it.
+DEVON: Yeah, it was super weird. Like that wrong number of grief thing felt like it came straight out of some. late night Reddit thread. The calls were frustrating, but kind of kept it unpredictable. Which I like, beats dead air, you know. That reminds me of this one time I answered a random Craigslist ad thinking it was for a job, but it turned out to be some guy's elaborate escape room in his basement. Anyway, solid show overall. I think people were into it.
 
 LUKE: All right, well, I hope so. And as always, we thank you for tuning in. And we'll talk to you again tomorrow, whenever tomorrow might be. Have a wonderful evening and we're signing off. Good night.

website/transcripts/episode-55-the-wellspring-s-haunting-social-architecture.txt

@@ -1,30 +1,30 @@
-LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's your late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can, which is probably not very good advice, but it's worth what you paid for it, okay? If you'd like to give us a call, the number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-8-3. 439, Luke. Today is Monday, May 11th, and it is a beautiful Monday here in New Mexico. I just returned from the wonderful world of Alpine, Texas, where we'll be moving soon. Hopefully, our intern, Devin, has got his affairs in order, and he's ready to find a place down in Alpine and continue doing the show. I have faith in him. Let's check. Hey, Devin, we're almost ready for the move to Alpine, Are you prepared?
+LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's your late-night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can, which is probably not very good advice, but it's worth what you paid for it, okay? If you'd like to give us a call, the number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-8-3. 439, Luke. Today is Monday, May 11th, and it is a beautiful Monday here in New Mexico. I just returned from the wonderful world of Alpine, Texas, where we'll be moving soon. Hopefully, our intern, Devon, has got his affairs in order, and he's ready to find a place down in Alpine and continue doing the show. I have faith in him. Let's check. Hey, Devon, we're almost ready for the move to Alpine, Are you prepared?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, pretty much, I mean, my civics packed to the gills, check engine light and all. And I subletted the studio to some guy from Craigslist who collects vintage toasters. Should be good to go whenever you want me to map the route or grab coffee for the drive.
+DEVON: Yeah, pretty much, I mean, my civics packed to the gills, check engine light and all. And I subletted the studio to some guy from Craigslist who collects vintage toasters. Should be good to go whenever you want me to map the route or grab coffee for the drive.
 
 LUKE: Oh, definitely coffee. The route's pretty, pretty simple. There's two roads. Literally two roads from here to there. It takes six hours, but it's six hours on two roads. So I think we'll be fine. Where are you going to be living when we get a? out there.
 
-DEVIN: Oh, man, living-wise, I snagged this tiny Adobe Casita on the edge of Alpine through a Facebook group. It's basically a one-room deal with a hot plate and a shower that sounds like it's possessed, but the rents dirt cheap and the landlady's this 70-year-old widow who bakes killer soap of pillows. Reminds me of that summer I spent houses sitting for my aunt in the middle of nowhere, scorpions everywhere. You think the station's got decent parking?
+DEVON: Oh, man, living-wise, I snagged this tiny Adobe Casita on the edge of Alpine through a Facebook group. It's basically a one-room deal with a hot plate and a shower that sounds like it's possessed, but the rents dirt cheap and the landlady's this 70-year-old widow who bakes killer soap of pillows. Reminds me of that summer I spent houses sitting for my aunt in the middle of nowhere, scorpions everywhere. You think the station's got decent parking?
 
 LUKE: Oh yeah, it's the desert. There's plenty of parking. You can park wherever you like. There's a There's more than enough places you can stash the Civic. And at night, when we do this podcast, nobody's going to be around. People go to bed, except on the weekends. It's kind of a hop in place on the weekends. So maybe we'll have to go even later.
 
-DEVIN: Cool. The Civic thanks you. That check engine lights been blinking like it's trying to Morse code me. Late nights for the podcast? Works for me. I mean, I've been pulling those since college, wiring myself on energy drinks, and debating conspiracy forums till done. Weekends could be wild out there, though. Any big events in Alpine I should look up?
+DEVON: Cool. The Civic thanks you. That check engine lights been blinking like it's trying to Morse code me. Late nights for the podcast? Works for me. I mean, I've been pulling those since college, wiring myself on energy drinks, and debating conspiracy forums till done. Weekends could be wild out there, though. Any big events in Alpine I should look up?
 
 LUKE: There was just one. It was called the Voices from Both Sides Festival, right on the Rio Grande. It was actually in La Hitas, I think it's called, about an hour and a half from Alpine. But it's where the Rio Grande splits the United States and Mexico. And on both sides of the river, they had a stage. And musicians, there's bands and partying and barbecuing on both sides. off. It's a pretty cool thing.
 
-DEVIN: Oh, yeah. Voices from both sides. I just pulled it up. It's in La Hitas on the Rio Grande, right? Stages facing each other across the border. Bands jamming. Everybody barbecuing in the river. They've been doing it since like 2012, annual thing around Mother's Day. Next one's May 10th, 2025. Perfect road trip from Alpine. Yeah, about an hour and a half. You ever been?
+DEVON: Oh, yeah. Voices from both sides. I just pulled it up. It's in La Hitas on the Rio Grande, right? Stages facing each other across the border. Bands jamming. Everybody barbecuing in the river. They've been doing it since like 2012, annual thing around Mother's Day. Next one's May 10th, 2025. Perfect road trip from Alpine. Yeah, about an hour and a half. You ever been?
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I was just there a couple It's not related to Mother's Day. It's a protest because after 9-11, that's when they closed that border. It was completely open before 9-11 when Mexico bombed the World Trade Center. So every year on the, I don't know if it's always the 12th, but right around 9-11, they have this big festival. And it's super cool. And there's people floating around in the river and you can walk across freely on both sides. I saw, I think, one border patrol guy there, but he was. just eating barbecue. Like, nobody down there wants a border wall. Like, no reasonable person does. Anybody, well, in southern Texas and in Mexico, they want to dance and party and eat barbecue. Like, it's so silly. But that's neither here nor there.
 
-DEVIN: Actually, yeah, I double checked. It's this Fiesta protesta thing. They started back in, like, 2012 after the Lajitas crossing got shut down post-9-11, not Mexico or anything. thing, just security stuff. The one this year was May 11th, so not super recent unless we're talking spring. But next year's May 10th, again. Sounds epic, though, the floating in the river and all. Way better than a wall, per se.
+DEVON: Actually, yeah, I double checked. It's this Fiesta protesta thing. They started back in, like, 2012 after the Lajitas crossing got shut down post-9-11, not Mexico or anything. thing, just security stuff. The one this year was May 11th, so not super recent unless we're talking spring. But next year's May 10th, again. Sounds epic, though, the floating in the river and all. Way better than a wall, per se.
 
 LUKE: Yep. Certainly way better than a wall. I thought it was interesting because it was so open. I mean, the river is only ankle deep. So there was really not a ton of security. There was almost no security there, and people just walked back and forth with no problem. So I don't know if it's like that all the time, but there isn't a crossing there. There's not like a Border Patrol checkpoint or anything.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, it's pretty much event only. No official port there. Just folks waiting the shallow spots during the festival. Border Patrol keeps it light or looks the other way.
+DEVON: Yeah, it's pretty much event only. No official port there. Just folks waiting the shallow spots during the festival. Border Patrol keeps it light or looks the other way.
 
 LUKE: All times. Nah, they crack down after September 11th, like everywhere else along there. Kind of peaceful, though, Border Patrol to hang out there. Like, I mean, around Texas and New Mexico, all around the border, they have checkpoints on the roads. And you have to, you know, stop and they go around your thing with a dog. And I'm actually a little offended. I've gone through that checkpoint or those checkpoints hundreds of times. And never once, have they ever asked me anything. Are you a US citizen, sir? That's all I've ever got. And I drive through with my truck. It's got tinted windows. I'm always towing something. I've got the adventure trailer. or a utility trailer, or I've got this big mystery box behind me a lot of times. And I guess I'm just too white. They never even look.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, the ones on I-10, like eastbound before Sierra Blanca and westbound out of Las Cruces, they're pretty standard. Always asking Citizen as the opener. Funny they let your mystery box slide, though. I mean, last time I hit one in the Civic, the dog's nose went nuts on my gym bag full of protein shakes. It felt like a setup.
+DEVON: Yeah, the ones on I-10, like eastbound before Sierra Blanca and westbound out of Las Cruces, they're pretty standard. Always asking Citizen as the opener. Funny they let your mystery box slide, though. I mean, last time I hit one in the Civic, the dog's nose went nuts on my gym bag full of protein shakes. It felt like a setup.
 
 LUKE: Well, hopefully you don't get detained and sent to Guantanamo. All right, that's enough of us. Let's get to the show. First up, on our call list here, we've got Darnell. Darnel, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life?
 
@@ -106,7 +106,7 @@ CONSUELA: I'm not a runaway person. I built something here. The spa, the springs
 
 LUKE: That's interesting. A lot of people move for things like job changes, housing, or even just a fresh start, not necessarily to escape something.
 
-CONSUELA: Yeah, well, I mean, a job change or a fresh start is kind of a something, right? It's escaping the life that you had before those changes. Devin, honey, I moved to escape a life I loved. That's the part that still stings. I was good at that job. I believed in it. And then I did one thing. One thing that I knew was outside the lines. And I had to walk away from all of it. So I built something new. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let a maybe, or possibly a man who might or might not have a familiar scar take this one. too.
+CONSUELA: Yeah, well, I mean, a job change or a fresh start is kind of a something, right? It's escaping the life that you had before those changes. Devon, honey, I moved to escape a life I loved. That's the part that still stings. I was good at that job. I believed in it. And then I did one thing. One thing that I knew was outside the lines. And I had to walk away from all of it. So I built something new. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let a maybe, or possibly a man who might or might not have a familiar scar take this one. too.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, there you go. It's not the same guy. That's a very common name, and it's not even the same name, and I mean, the picture that you have in your mind of this guy is from 19 years ago, so it's warped. It's not accurate anymore, and he would have changed significantly in 19 years.
 
@@ -168,7 +168,7 @@ LUKE: Okay, well, thank you for the call, Consuela. You can sleep well tonight.
 
 CONSUELA: Just yeah, one thing. Whatever I did 19 years ago, I did it as the same person I am right now. Every sale, every plank, whatever. The thread. it didn't break. And I think I needed to hear myself say that out loud to someone who doesn't know my name. Thank you, Luke.
 
-LUKE: All right, you're very welcome. I do know your name. Your name's Consuela, and you told the rest of our listening audience. So, I mean, it's a little off on your logic there. But that's okay. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for us to listen to a little word from our sponsors. Let's talk about what's going on below the belt. Saddle Soft premium undergarments are made for fabrics so advanced, the military doesn't even know about it yet. We're talking about micromodal cactus silk, harvested by hand from prickly pear, which is ironic because the whole point is that nothing pricks you. Every pair is cut for the man who sits in a plastic chair in the desert for nine hours recording a podcast. That's a real use case. That's my use case. Saddlesoft comes in three fits. Regular, generous, and mind your business. Use code, Roost at checkout for 15% off your first pair. And no, I will not be modeling them. I've been asked. The answer is still no. Saddle soft. Your chair is uncomfortable enough. Devin, what do you think about the ship of Theseus? What's your take on this paradox?
+LUKE: All right, you're very welcome. I do know your name. Your name's Consuela, and you told the rest of our listening audience. So, I mean, it's a little off on your logic there. But that's okay. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for us to listen to a little word from our sponsors. Let's talk about what's going on below the belt. Saddle Soft premium undergarments are made for fabrics so advanced, the military doesn't even know about it yet. We're talking about micromodal cactus silk, harvested by hand from prickly pear, which is ironic because the whole point is that nothing pricks you. Every pair is cut for the man who sits in a plastic chair in the desert for nine hours recording a podcast. That's a real use case. That's my use case. Saddlesoft comes in three fits. Regular, generous, and mind your business. Use code, Roost at checkout for 15% off your first pair. And no, I will not be modeling them. I've been asked. The answer is still no. Saddle soft. Your chair is uncomfortable enough. Devon, what do you think about the ship of Theseus? What's your take on this paradox?
 
 DEVON: So basically, I think it's still the same ship as long as there's some kind of, continuous history tying it all together. Like, the idea of it matters more than the wood, per se. Ironically, it reminds me of this girlfriend I had who slowly changed every single thing about herself over a couple years, hair, tattoos, even got these massive implants. And by the end, I was like, wait, is this even the same person? But yeah, if that makes sense, the paradox is kind of comforting, because it means we're all just stories we tell ourselves.
 
@@ -254,7 +254,7 @@ SILAS: One of the six people who left after the apology, a woman named Petra, sh
 
 LUKE: That's really interesting because the term social architecture reminds me a lot of hostile architecture, which is a real thing where urban design, it's is used to deter certain behaviors, often impacting vulnerable populations. Okay. Well, I mean, that's pretty meaningful. And like you said, a thought out measured response. And see, the thing is, I've talked to you many times about this. And I know that you've struggled with it for many months. And you've legitimately tried to make it a wholesome and bonding experience for people. And you I think what you're learning is that it's not working. It's hurting people. And maybe it's time to abandon your intimacy nights.
 
-SILAS: We did abandon them. That was part of the apology. They're done. But here's what I keep coming back to. And, Devin, what you said about hostile architecture, that's actually closer to what Petra means than maybe you intended. The intimacy nights were the visible thing. The thing I could point to and say, I changed that. But Petra's saying the intimate. Jimacy nights weren't really the problem.
+SILAS: We did abandon them. That was part of the apology. They're done. But here's what I keep coming back to. And, Devon, what you said about hostile architecture, that's actually closer to what Petra means than maybe you intended. The intimacy nights were the visible thing. The thing I could point to and say, I changed that. But Petra's saying the intimate. Jimacy nights weren't really the problem.
 
 LUKE: Well, I mean, you can point to anything that goes on in the Wellspring and say that you changed it. It's, it's your community. You've built the whole thing. So it's structured after the way you wanted it to be. And obviously, you're going to learn over time and make mistakes and do the wrong thing. And if you're really committed to this lifestyle and to the current, as you say, then you'll make the appropriate changes to, do better in the future. And you can't take back what's already happened. It's already happened. And maybe people were hurt. And that's too bad. But, uh, you didn't do it maliciously. You didn't do it intentionally. And you can learn from, from your experience and how far you've come so far. And ask yourself if this community at all is, is good for people. That's the question, isn't it? Is the community good for people?
 
@@ -420,12 +420,12 @@ LUKE: Well, it's a huge wilderness. It makes sense that people would go missing
 
 OBADIAH: Just this. If you found something out there and you reported it and you were told it didn't matter, dig out your notes. Because somewhere there's a family that's still asking. And 40 years feels like a long time until you're standing in the spot where it happened. it doesn't feel long at all. That's all I've got. Thank you for taking the call.
 
-LUKE: All right, buddy. You have yourself a wonderful night. Wow, Devin, that was a pretty strange episode. I don't know what was up with Silas there. Do you think he's losing it? Or maybe he's already lost it? Or maybe he was drunk? What was going on there?
+LUKE: All right, buddy. You have yourself a wonderful night. Wow, Devon, that was a pretty strange episode. I don't know what was up with Silas there. Do you think he's losing it? Or maybe he's already lost it? Or maybe he was drunk? What was going on there?
 
-DEVIN: I don't know, Luke. Silas didn't sound drunk to me. More like one of those guys who's been chewing on this for years and it finally spilled out. Like the details on those vask boots and the vibram soles were way, too specific to make up on the spot, you know? That reminds me of this time I was out in the desert near Deming, testing my civics off-road limits, which it doesn't have per se. And I swear I found an old campsite with bootprints that looked just like that. No tent. Just gone. Anyway, I think he's onto something real, even if it's messing with his head.
+DEVON: I don't know, Luke. Silas didn't sound drunk to me. More like one of those guys who's been chewing on this for years and it finally spilled out. Like the details on those vask boots and the vibram soles were way, too specific to make up on the spot, you know? That reminds me of this time I was out in the desert near Deming, testing my civics off-road limits, which it doesn't have per se. And I swear I found an old campsite with bootprints that looked just like that. No tent. Just gone. Anyway, I think he's onto something real, even if it's messing with his head.
 
 LUKE: No, man, I'm talking about Silas. Not that guy. I was Obadiah. Silas is the wellspring leader, and he's called lots of times. You talked about moving in with him, you know? you've had conversations with them yourself. Why is it that you guys don't remember any of this stuff? What is what's going on with your memories? Are you fucking with me?
 
-DEVIN: Um, Luke, wait, Silas, the Wellspring guy? Yeah, I remember him calling in before, all that stuff about the compound and inviting me to move in, but I thought we were talking about the missing hiker dude just now. My memory's fine. I swear. It's just sometimes these calls blur together after three Red Bulls. Like last week, I forgot my own therapist appointment because I was replaying that one call in my head where the lady said her predicted the lottery. Anyway, are you saying Silas called back tonight? I didn't screen anyone new.
+DEVON: Um, Luke, wait, Silas, the Wellspring guy? Yeah, I remember him calling in before, all that stuff about the compound and inviting me to move in, but I thought we were talking about the missing hiker dude just now. My memory's fine. I swear. It's just sometimes these calls blur together after three Red Bulls. Like last week, I forgot my own therapist appointment because I was replaying that one call in my head where the lady said her predicted the lottery. Anyway, are you saying Silas called back tonight? I didn't screen anyone new.
 
 LUKE: All right, all right. It's obviously late and it's time for us to go to bed. So all of you out there listening, thank you for that. And hopefully we'll get more sane and sensical callers tomorrow because this was fucking strange. Have a wonderful evening. Goodbye.

website/transcripts/episode-56-the-tattoo-that-saved-a-life.txt

@@ -1,30 +1,30 @@
-LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's the late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, May 21st. It's 12.45 a.m. here in Animus, New Mexico. And if you'd like to give us a call, the number to call in is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439, Luke. If you're not near your phone, you'd like to participate in the show. You can do that. You can send us an email to the station at Submissions at Lukeat the Roos.com. If we think your email is clever or funny or interesting, we'll read it on the next show. So, again, the email address is submissions. at Luke at theroost.com. Now, let's check in with our faithful intern, Devin, and see how we're doing for our show tonight. Hey, Devin, welcome back. Are you ready for a show tonight?
+LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back. I'm Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost. It's the late night call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me what's going on in your life, and I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Thursday, May 21st. It's 12.45 a.m. here in Animus, New Mexico. And if you'd like to give us a call, the number to call in is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439, Luke. If you're not near your phone, you'd like to participate in the show. You can do that. You can send us an email to the station at Submissions at Lukeat the Roos.com. If we think your email is clever or funny or interesting, we'll read it on the next show. So, again, the email address is submissions. at Luke at theroost.com. Now, let's check in with our faithful intern, Devon, and see how we're doing for our show tonight. Hey, Devon, welcome back. Are you ready for a show tonight?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I'm here and ready to go. Just pulled up some background on that, one story from last week in case it comes up again, and I made sure the booth fan isn't making that buzzing noise tonight. Actually, I was thinking about how my therapist says I should probably stop stress organizing my cereal boxes at 4 a.m. right?
+DEVON: Yeah, I'm here and ready to go. Just pulled up some background on that, one story from last week in case it comes up again, and I made sure the booth fan isn't making that buzzing noise tonight. Actually, I was thinking about how my therapist says I should probably stop stress organizing my cereal boxes at 4 a.m. right?
 
 LUKE: How many cereal boxes do you have that you can organize them?
 
-DEVIN: I've got seven right now, all lined up by expiration date in the cabinet above the sink. It's not a big collection or anything, just whatever's on sale. But sorting them by height and then by flavor helps me feel like the night isn't completely falling apart. My therapist keeps saying I should try journaling instead, but that just makes me think about my ex and the time we got locked out of our apartment for three days.
+DEVON: I've got seven right now, all lined up by expiration date in the cabinet above the sink. It's not a big collection or anything, just whatever's on sale. But sorting them by height and then by flavor helps me feel like the night isn't completely falling apart. My therapist keeps saying I should try journaling instead, but that just makes me think about my ex and the time we got locked out of our apartment for three days.
 
 LUKE: Okay, at seven boxes of cereal, there's a lot of boxes of cereal. consider eating something else. Here's what I'm going to solve your serial sorting problem for you right now. So what I want you to do tonight when you go home is take all of the cereal boxes and empty them into one trash bag. So you've got one like glade, glade. Does glade make trash? Yeah, one glade trash bag full of cereal. And they're just all mixed together in one cereal concoction.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, that could work, I guess. definitely stop me from sorting them every night, though I'd probably end up eating the whole thing in one sitting, like some kind of desperate cereal soup. It reminds me of the time my ex and I tried living off nothing but pantry scraps for a month after we both quit our jobs on the same day. I'll try it when I get home.
+DEVON: Yeah, that could work, I guess. definitely stop me from sorting them every night, though I'd probably end up eating the whole thing in one sitting, like some kind of desperate cereal soup. It reminds me of the time my ex and I tried living off nothing but pantry scraps for a month after we both quit our jobs on the same day. I'll try it when I get home.
 
 LUKE: Very good. And here's another tip for you. Don't eat cereal. It's not good for you. There's no cereal. Even if you're buying those expensive, like, flex seed cereals, just don't do that. Eat eggs instead. Eggs is the way to go. It's cheaper and it's much better for you. So just hardboil a bunch of eggs and eat those instead of cereal. And then you can organize your eggs by height and width and girth.
 
-DEVIN: Eggs instead, got it. I actually used to hard boil a dozen every week back when my ex and I were trying that whole meal prep thing after we both got fired from the same gas station. Organizing them by size sounds way less stressful than the cereal situation, though I might still end up sorting them by color in the fridge at 3 a.m. I'll pick some up on the way home and give it a shot.
+DEVON: Eggs instead, got it. I actually used to hard boil a dozen every week back when my ex and I were trying that whole meal prep thing after we both got fired from the same gas station. Organizing them by size sounds way less stressful than the cereal situation, though I might still end up sorting them by color in the fridge at 3 a.m. I'll pick some up on the way home and give it a shot.
 
-LUKE: Why are you always talking about your ex, Devin? How many exes do you have?
+LUKE: Why are you always talking about your ex, Devon? How many exes do you have?
 
-DEVIN: I don't know. She just comes up whenever I'm talking about organizing stuff or late night habits because we used to do all that together and I'm still working through it. I've got three exes total if I'm counting the situation ships that lasted more than a couple months. Eggs might actually help me stop bringing her up every other sentence, though.
+DEVON: I don't know. She just comes up whenever I'm talking about organizing stuff or late night habits because we used to do all that together and I'm still working through it. I've got three exes total if I'm counting the situation ships that lasted more than a couple months. Eggs might actually help me stop bringing her up every other sentence, though.
 
 LUKE: I think that's a great idea. Start eating the fucking eggs because nobody cares about your ex, all right?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, eggs from now on, I got it. Sorry for bringing her up again. It gets old fast and nobody needs to hear that on the show. I'll just focus on the hard-boiled stuff and see if it actually cuts down on the late-night organizing, too.
+DEVON: Yeah, eggs from now on, I got it. Sorry for bringing her up again. It gets old fast and nobody needs to hear that on the show. I'll just focus on the hard-boiled stuff and see if it actually cuts down on the late-night organizing, too.
 
 LUKE: All right. Well, today is May 21st. We're moving the studio to Alpine on May 28th. Are you ready? You got everything in order?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I'm getting stuff squared away on my end, like making sure all the research notes are backed up. And the booth setup is prepped for the new space. I actually mapped out the drive to Alpine already, so I don't get lost on the way. that time I moved cross-country with nothing but a duffel bag and three mismatched socks. Should be good to go by the 28th.
+DEVON: Yeah, I'm getting stuff squared away on my end, like making sure all the research notes are backed up. And the booth setup is prepped for the new space. I actually mapped out the drive to Alpine already, so I don't get lost on the way. that time I moved cross-country with nothing but a duffel bag and three mismatched socks. Should be good to go by the 28th.
 
 LUKE: All right. We'll be ready in Alpine. Let's get the show started, okay? Because we've had enough of you. Let's see. Who do we got on our caller list today? This is an interesting one. I think it is. Welcome to the show Remedios. Am I saying that correctly? Is your name Remedios?
 
@@ -367,10 +367,10 @@ CALLER: Float down the river. I'll tell her that's the plan. See what she says.
 
 LUKE: All right. It's not really what I meant by paradox when I set that as the theme. I keep trying to get callers to talk about, you know, famous paradoxes, the furry paradox or the fucking Zeno's paradox, you know, but that's not working out the way that I expected. It's okay, though, because these are still pretty good, uh, deep calls. And I'm all right with it. I think they've been going while. So thanks for the call. Um, I'm going to check in with the devon here. Uh, that's the end of our show, sir. What do you think? How do you think it went tonight?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I think it went all right, actually. Those philosophy bits really landed, and the callers seemed into it. Reminds me of that time in college when I tried to rebuild my entire personality from scratch after a bad breakup and ended up with like three different versions of myself for a while. What about you, sir?
+DEVON: Yeah, I think it went all right, actually. Those philosophy bits really landed, and the callers seemed into it. Reminds me of that time in college when I tried to rebuild my entire personality from scratch after a bad breakup and ended up with like three different versions of myself for a while. What about you, sir?
 
-LUKE: Well, I mean, if you've only got three Xs, you've had an awful lot of breakups there, Devin. I think the show was pretty good. I enjoyed most of these calls. I thought they were. They gave me something to dig into to think about it a little bit, and it's a good one. And we're going to do this again real soon.
+LUKE: Well, I mean, if you've only got three Xs, you've had an awful lot of breakups there, Devon. I think the show was pretty good. I enjoyed most of these calls. I thought they were. They gave me something to dig into to think about it a little bit, and it's a good one. And we're going to do this again real soon.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, three's probably low-balling it per se. They kind of overlapped in this weird way where I wasn't sure which version was driving the car most days. Glad you thought it went well, though. Those calls really stuck with me. Anyway, we're wrapping up here, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: Yeah, three's probably low-balling it per se. They kind of overlapped in this weird way where I wasn't sure which version was driving the car most days. Glad you thought it went well, though. Those calls really stuck with me. Anyway, we're wrapping up here, if that makes sense.
 
 LUKE: That makes sense. And thanks to all of you for tuning in to another episode of Luke at the Roost. We hope you have a wonderful night. And don't off yourself and enjoy the little things in life and lay yourself off the hook when you feel guilty about some shit you don't deserve to feel guilty about. That's what I have to say. And good night to all and to all a good night. Goodbye.

website/transcripts/episode-57-trace-s-box-of-family-secrets.txt

@@ -1,32 +1,32 @@
-LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to Luke at the Roost. I'm Luke. I'm your host for tonight's radio show. And this is the call-in late-night radio show where you can give us a call and talk about whatever's going on in your life. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Tuesday, June 2nd. And we're broadcasting from our new studio. Alpine, Texas, proudly serving West Texas because we're Texans now. Everything is bigger here. So I've heard. If you'd like to give us a call, the number is 208-439-58-3-3-3. That's 208-439 Luke. Let's check in with our faithful intern, Devin, here, and see how his move up to Alpine was. Hey, Devin, welcome back to the show. How was your move up to Alpine?
+LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to Luke at the Roost. I'm Luke. I'm your host for tonight's radio show. And this is the call-in late-night radio show where you can give us a call and talk about whatever's going on in your life. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. Today is Tuesday, June 2nd. And we're broadcasting from our new studio. Alpine, Texas, proudly serving West Texas because we're Texans now. Everything is bigger here. So I've heard. If you'd like to give us a call, the number is 208-439-58-3-3-3. That's 208-439 Luke. Let's check in with our faithful intern, Devon, here, and see how his move up to Alpine was. Hey, Devon, welcome back to the show. How was your move up to Alpine?
 
-DEVIN: little earlier, but we had a couple of hiccups, so we had to start over. So tell the people what it was like moving from New Mexico over to Texas.
+DEVON: little earlier, but we had a couple of hiccups, so we had to start over. So tell the people what it was like moving from New Mexico over to Texas.
 
-DEVIN: It was all right, mostly just the drive in my 2009 Civic with the Czech engine light on the whole time from New Mexico. Got everything unpacked, and the booth set up without too much hassle once I landed here. The landlord's already talking about the walls having some kind of energy, though, which is something.
+DEVON: It was all right, mostly just the drive in my 2009 Civic with the Czech engine light on the whole time from New Mexico. Got everything unpacked, and the booth set up without too much hassle once I landed here. The landlord's already talking about the walls having some kind of energy, though, which is something.
 
 LUKE: Have you noticed anything weird about the energy in the place? Is there, are there any voices coming from the wall or anything like that?
 
-DEVIN: Not really anything like voices yet, though the landlord's energy talk is making me side-eyed the walls a little. It reminds me of this one apartment where the vents made this low humming noise that felt way too personal, but it was probably just old plumbing or something. I'll keep an ear out, though.
+DEVON: Not really anything like voices yet, though the landlord's energy talk is making me side-eyed the walls a little. It reminds me of this one apartment where the vents made this low humming noise that felt way too personal, but it was probably just old plumbing or something. I'll keep an ear out, though.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, there's some noise in this room. This room sounds a little bit server running in the background, which is being quite a bit of noise. You probably won't hear it in this broadcast because I have noise filters and stuff like that. But it's driving me crazy, so we're going to have to get some acoustic treatment on the walls.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, empty rooms, echo everything weirdly like that. The server hum probably starts feeling like it's watching you after a while.
+DEVON: Yeah, empty rooms, echo everything weirdly like that. The server hum probably starts feeling like it's watching you after a while.
 
 LUKE: Well, it's a big NAS with, I think, eight spinning discs in it, so it's just crunching all the time. It's pretty loud. I used to have it tucked away. in a closet in the RV, but now it's in the same room with me, so I can hear it all day.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, eight drives would make that constant crunching feel like it's right in your ear all day. I don't know if this helps, but maybe some foam panels or moving it back into a closet could cut it down.
+DEVON: Yeah, eight drives would make that constant crunching feel like it's right in your ear all day. I don't know if this helps, but maybe some foam panels or moving it back into a closet could cut it down.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, I mean, I'll get to maybe moving it, but I think I'm going to do some wooden slats on the wall for reflections, and then maybe some panels to my sides and the back wall. We'll see. chill out on the spending a little bit. It was a bit steep getting up here and getting everything I needed. I had to furnish the whole house. So I got to cut off my Amazon buy clicking.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, moving costs add up quick. Wooden slats could look pretty sharp in there too.
+DEVON: Yeah, moving costs add up quick. Wooden slats could look pretty sharp in there too.
 
 LUKE: You're damn right, they look pretty sharp. I'm a sharp fella.
 
-DEVIN: Oh yeah, sharp fella for sure. I like the wooden slats idea a lot. If you need me to look up some
+DEVON: Oh yeah, sharp fella for sure. I like the wooden slats idea a lot. If you need me to look up some
 
 LUKE: All right, well, like I said, I'm all moved in. I went to the registry today and surrendered my South Dakota driver's license. I'm going to get myself a brand new shiny Texas license. Both glorious states in which you don't have to pay income tax. So those are why I chose them. But unfortunately, in Texas, I do have to get a sticker for my vehicles. That's annoying. You didn't have to do that in South Dakota. I don't think it's a thing. Like, they don't care that my truck is deleted. or anything like that? This is Texas, but they just want their $35 or whatever it is for each of the vehicles.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, that tracks with what I remember from when I moved out here from New Mexico. The sticker thing is annoying, but at least it's not income tax. If you want me to double-check the current fee or any exemptions for deleted trucks, I can pull that up quick.
+DEVON: Yeah, that tracks with what I remember from when I moved out here from New Mexico. The sticker thing is annoying, but at least it's not income tax. If you want me to double-check the current fee or any exemptions for deleted trucks, I can pull that up quick.
 
 LUKE: That's all right, buddy. I got all that handled. No need to worry about it. And let's get on with the show, shall we? So it looks like Silas is already calling in. Our first new studio, Silas is back. Hopefully he's got his memory back. Last time he called in, he was a little bit confused about who he was, and he thought he'd never called us before. It was very strange, but let's check in with Silas. Silas, welcome back to the show. How are you feeling, buddy? The last time you called in, you were a bit confused. Are you back in action now?
 
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ LUKE: You're right. That's not leadership. So cut the shit and stop being a puss
 
 LUKE: And if it's the wrong decision, then reverse course. You'll find that out. But make a decision and stop being paralyzed by your own inadequacy. Your, I don't know, trust yourself. Trust yourself or don't. And if you can't be the leader for these people, then elect a new one.
 
-CALLER: Yeah, yeah, okay. That landed. I needed that more than I needed the mountain speech. No offense to Devin and the National Park facts. You're right. I have been annoying. I can feel it even in myself. The way I keep circling the same drain and dressing it up in spiritual language. So it sounds like searching instead of stalling. Okay, I'm going to get out of this truck. I'm going to walk over to that communal tent, and I'm going to wake some people up. And I'm going to say, here is where we actually are. Here is what I actually know. Here is what I don't know. And then I'm going to let them. talk.
+CALLER: Yeah, yeah, okay. That landed. I needed that more than I needed the mountain speech. No offense to Devon and the National Park facts. You're right. I have been annoying. I can feel it even in myself. The way I keep circling the same drain and dressing it up in spiritual language. So it sounds like searching instead of stalling. Okay, I'm going to get out of this truck. I'm going to walk over to that communal tent, and I'm going to wake some people up. And I'm going to say, here is where we actually are. Here is what I actually know. Here is what I don't know. And then I'm going to let them. talk.
 
 LUKE: Well, I don't know that you have to wake them up in the middle of the night for this conversation. This is something that could wait till morning. So why don't you go to bed, get yourself some sleep, have some coffee in the morning, and call together a meeting. Like a normal, civilized person.
 
@@ -354,8 +354,8 @@ LUKE: That answer is totally up to you. And if Preston was the precipice, the th
 
 BIRCH: That's either very wise or very convenient. I haven't decided which. But yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe Preston did me more of a favor than I did him. I just, I hope he turned himself in. I really do. Those veterans deserved better than what he did to them.
 
-LUKE: Probably, they probably did, but also, just because somebody's a veteran doesn't mean that they're a great person that deserves anything. Remember that, too. Not saying that they deserve to be ripped off. I'm just saying just because you're a veteran doesn't make you a saint. So. That's that. And ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of our show for tonight. Thank you for tuning in. And we'll be back soon for another episode of Luke at the Roost. Let's check in with Devin here. Hey, Devin, Devin, that's the end of our show. This is our first show in Alpine. How did you feel about it?
+LUKE: Probably, they probably did, but also, just because somebody's a veteran doesn't mean that they're a great person that deserves anything. Remember that, too. Not saying that they deserve to be ripped off. I'm just saying just because you're a veteran doesn't make you a saint. So. That's that. And ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of our show for tonight. Thank you for tuning in. And we'll be back soon for another episode of Luke at the Roost. Let's check in with Devon here. Hey, Devon, Devon, that's the end of our show. This is our first show in Alpine. How did you feel about it?
 
-DEVIN: So basically, it felt good to finally be settled here after driving that Civic all the way out with the check engine light on the whole time. I keep thinking about how my last place had that one neighbor who used to practice bagpipes at 3 a.m. And somehow this feels quieter even though we're on the air. I don't know. I feel like we can actually make something out of these nights, if that makes sense.
+DEVON: So basically, it felt good to finally be settled here after driving that Civic all the way out with the check engine light on the whole time. I keep thinking about how my last place had that one neighbor who used to practice bagpipes at 3 a.m. And somehow this feels quieter even though we're on the air. I don't know. I feel like we can actually make something out of these nights, if that makes sense.
 
 LUKE: It doesn't make any sense, but that's okay. We don't have to make sense. We're look at the roost. And we will talk to you again tomorrow.

website/transcripts/episode-58-rayfield-s-nephew-the-marfa-lights-and-why-nobody-believes-concho.txt

@@ -2,33 +2,33 @@ LUKE: All right, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back. I'm Luke, and this is Luke
 
 SANDRA: Yeah, hi. Okay, my name's Sandra, and I would like to find out of, like, what kind of be involved. I think we the people better know our Constitution founding documents and declaration of independence. And we better take on some of the responsibility of stopping the destruction of our country as we the people with regards to, you know, our elections become members judicial watch. They're out there fighting for that. Stop the fraudulent election. And there's other things. So I'd like to do a show if there's room on your radio station. And to find out where it's located. My number is 575. 05. 575. 05. Thank you. Bye-bye.
 
-LUKE: All right, Sandra. I'm not sure why you're calling this show. Those are all great points that you've brought up. But this is not the appropriate place to talk about the Constitution of the United States, I don't think, or voting fraud, which I personally do not believe is a significant issue. But, Devin, what do you think about that call? Should we have Sandra on to discuss her concerns?
+LUKE: All right, Sandra. I'm not sure why you're calling this show. Those are all great points that you've brought up. But this is not the appropriate place to talk about the Constitution of the United States, I don't think, or voting fraud, which I personally do not believe is a significant issue. But, Devon, what do you think about that call? Should we have Sandra on to discuss her concerns?
 
-DEVIN: I don't know, maybe. She sounds like she really wants to get on the air and talk about something important to her. I mean, I don't know, I feel like sometimes those calls end up being the most interesting ones, even if they don't match what we planned. Reminds me of when my mom's boyfriend made us all memorize the Bill of Rights for his parole hearing. Anyway, up to you.
+DEVON: I don't know, maybe. She sounds like she really wants to get on the air and talk about something important to her. I mean, I don't know, I feel like sometimes those calls end up being the most interesting ones, even if they don't match what we planned. Reminds me of when my mom's boyfriend made us all memorize the Bill of Rights for his parole hearing. Anyway, up to you.
 
 LUKE: Well, you know, I feel like if she really wanted to get on the air, she would have listened to the show before she called in and asked to get on the air to figure out what kind of show it was. show or she wouldn't have brought her concerns about election fraud here. Or maybe she would have. I don't know. Maybe she has listened to the show. Maybe she listens to every episode. I'm not sure. But I don't think that we should give her a segment to discuss voter election fraud. It's just, I'm not into it.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, you're probably right. She might have just seen the number somewhere and figured it was worth a shot. I don't know. I feel like those random calls can still be fun sometimes, but if it's not the vibe.
+DEVON: Yeah, you're probably right. She might have just seen the number somewhere and figured it was worth a shot. I don't know. I feel like those random calls can still be fun sometimes, but if it's not the vibe.
 
 LUKE: It's not the vibe. Oh, she saw the number somewhere because we've put Luke at the Roost Flyers and business cards in every truck stop bathroom from Texas through New Mexico. So they're all over the place. It's easy to find the number for this show. So I don't think she found it by listening to it. But anyway, just quickly, because now I'm thinking about it. I'm not familiar with the judicial watch that she brought up. Do you know what? the Judicial Watch is. Is this a grassroots organization that watches judges?
 
-DEVIN: So, I looked it up, and Judicial Watch is actually a conservative nonprofit founded in 1994 that focuses on government transparency through lawsuits and FOIA requests. It's based in D.C., not really a grassroots outfit watching judges, more of a legal advocacy group that gets involved in election-related cases, too. They do push those kinds of issues pretty hard.
+DEVON: So, I looked it up, and Judicial Watch is actually a conservative nonprofit founded in 1994 that focuses on government transparency through lawsuits and FOIA requests. It's based in D.C., not really a grassroots outfit watching judges, more of a legal advocacy group that gets involved in election-related cases, too. They do push those kinds of issues pretty hard.
 
 LUKE: request, that's, FOIA is the Freedom of Information Act, right? Which was also instituted somewhere around the 90s. What brought about the Freedom of Information Act? Was that post-9-11? No, because this is the 90s, right? This is before 9-11. When did we get the Freedom of Information Act?
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, FOIA is the Freedom of Information Act. It actually got signed into law back in 1966 by Lyndon Johnson, after years of pushing from this congressman named John Maher. who wanted more government transparency. Definitely not post-9-11, or even close, that was decades earlier.
+DEVON: Yeah, FOIA is the Freedom of Information Act. It actually got signed into law back in 1966 by Lyndon Johnson, after years of pushing from this congressman named John Maher. who wanted more government transparency. Definitely not post-9-11, or even close, that was decades earlier.
 
-LUKE: Oh, I thought it was fairly new in response to 9-11 for some reason. Okay, well, what's your thought on election fraud? Devin, do you think we have widespread election fraud that needs to be handled by we, the people, the citizens of this country?
+LUKE: Oh, I thought it was fairly new in response to 9-11 for some reason. Okay, well, what's your thought on election fraud? Devon, do you think we have widespread election fraud that needs to be handled by we, the people, the citizens of this country?
 
-DEVIN: I don't know. I feel like if there was really widespread fraud, someone would have solid proof by now, instead of just vibes. twice in a local thing by wearing a fake mustache. And it didn't even work, so maybe it's harder than people think. Anyway, probably not something we need to solve on the air.
+DEVON: I don't know. I feel like if there was really widespread fraud, someone would have solid proof by now, instead of just vibes. twice in a local thing by wearing a fake mustache. And it didn't even work, so maybe it's harder than people think. Anyway, probably not something we need to solve on the air.
 
 LUKE: No, we don't need to solve it on the air. I personally, when we're talking about presidential elections, I think the whole concept is a fraud. I know that's an unpopular thing to say because it's your duty and Puff Daddy told us all that we need to vote or die. And if you don't listen to Puff Daddy, then what kind of American are you? really. But I can't get behind the presidential elections. I never could because the electoral college makes the whole thing relatively pointless in my mind. I mean, last election, I was a resident of South Dakota, which was 96% going to Trump. So there was absolutely no way a vote against Trump was going to have any difference about what South Dakota did. My vote would not be counted or used in any. anyway, and that's just stupid. It's stupid and it's a lie, and I don't believe in it.
 
-DEVIN: I mean, I don't know. I feel like the electoral college does make it weird in some states where it's basically decided ahead of time. Reminds me of when my stepdad made me register to vote at 16 so he could use my address for some jury duty thing he was dodging. Anyway, it all feels kind of rigged from the start.
+DEVON: I mean, I don't know. I feel like the electoral college does make it weird in some states where it's basically decided ahead of time. Reminds me of when my stepdad made me register to vote at 16 so he could use my address for some jury duty thing he was dodging. Anyway, it all feels kind of rigged from the start.
 
-LUKE: It absolutely is rigged from the start. So, I mean, where's the fraud coming from if it's not the election itself? talking about presidential elections, not local state and municipality type elections. Those I think they count the popular votes, right? But just the American Idol thing, get in your vote and make your voice heard. We've already decided who we're voting for, but we need to hear from you. It's just a placation. It's, I don't like it. I don't like it, Devin.
+LUKE: It absolutely is rigged from the start. So, I mean, where's the fraud coming from if it's not the election itself? talking about presidential elections, not local state and municipality type elections. Those I think they count the popular votes, right? But just the American Idol thing, get in your vote and make your voice heard. We've already decided who we're voting for, but we need to hear from you. It's just a placation. It's, I don't like it. I don't like it, Devon.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It does feel like the whole thing is set up. people are just going through the motions. Reminds me of when my grandma made me fill out her absentee ballot for her, because she said, the government owes me this one, after some old tax thing. Anyway, I get why it bugs you.
+DEVON: Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It does feel like the whole thing is set up. people are just going through the motions. Reminds me of when my grandma made me fill out her absentee ballot for her, because she said, the government owes me this one, after some old tax thing. Anyway, I get why it bugs you.
 
 LUKE: All right. Well, that's enough of that. We don't need to continue talking about elections or election fraud or the Constitution of the United States. I clearly don't know enough about it to be making informed commentary. So let's get to our collar line. Our color line's lighting up, and it looks like first on our list we've got Mr. Rayfield. Rayfield, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about today? How can we help you?
 
@@ -38,13 +38,13 @@ LUKE: What did he steal?
 
 RAYFIELD: Catalytic converter, off an old Tehano Rancher's truck. Man named Orelio Cerna, his family's been running cattle east of Marathon since before this county had a name. And Denny, that's my nephew, was under that truck at two in the morning with a reciprocating source. all.
 
-DEVIN: Well, at least it wasn't an election.
+DEVON: Well, at least it wasn't an election.
 
 LUKE: Okay, so your nephew stole this man's catalytic converter and you watched him at 2 o'clock in the morning? What were you doing out at 2 o'clock in the morning watching him under a neighbor's vehicle?
 
 RAYFIELD: I wasn't watching him do it on purpose. I was on my porch. Can't sleep most nights. I just sit out there. And I saw headlights pull up slow on Cerna's property, which is not far from mine. And I knew those headlights. I know that truck. That's Denny's truck.
 
-LUKE: It looks like Marathon, Texas has a really long history of cattle ranching, going back to the 1800s. So Arellio Cerna's family being there for generations totally tracks. All right, Devin. That was really helpful to the show. Thank you for that little bit of information. Okay, and Rayfield, why didn't you, have you said anything to your nephew about this? Or did you just kind of let it slide?
+LUKE: It looks like Marathon, Texas has a really long history of cattle ranching, going back to the 1800s. So Arellio Cerna's family being there for generations totally tracks. All right, Devon. That was really helpful to the show. Thank you for that little bit of information. Okay, and Rayfield, why didn't you, have you said anything to your nephew about this? Or did you just kind of let it slide?
 
 RAYFIELD: No, I did not let it slide. I walked over there in my boots and my undershirt, and I made him put it back, stood over him while he reattached it. And then I told him, if he ever did anything like that again, I would call Brewster County myself. But here's what I didn't know then. This wasn't the first time.
 
@@ -234,9 +234,9 @@ LUKE: Yeah, you got plenty of time, so do that. Is there anything else you'd lik
 
 GUS: No, I think, I think that's it. You kind of cut through three weeks of me spinning my wheels in about five minutes. I'm going to call her tomorrow and ask if she wants to grab coffee before shift. That's where it starts. Thank you, Luke.
 
-LUKE: No problem. That's what we do here at Look at the Roos. Devin is raising his hand over there like a fucking maniac. What do you want to say, Devin?
+LUKE: No problem. That's what we do here at Look at the Roos. Devon is raising his hand over there like a fucking maniac. What do you want to say, Devon?
 
-DEVIN: So, I just looked up police dash cam purge schedules, and it really varies a lot by department. Some keep footage for months, others much less, but 24 days is definitely within the normal range. for non-evidentiary footage.
+DEVON: So, I just looked up police dash cam purge schedules, and it really varies a lot by department. Some keep footage for months, others much less, but 24 days is definitely within the normal range. for non-evidentiary footage.
 
 LUKE: All right. Well, you get 24 days to make a decision, and I know that you'll make the right one. Thanks for the call. Gus, and we're going to move on now to Merritt. Merritt, welcome to the show. What's going on? What's bothering you tonight? And what's get you up so late?
 
@@ -410,9 +410,9 @@ LUKE: Well, that tells you something about where my head is.
 
 FERN: Lily is asleep, and I've got cattle to move at 6, and I'm on the radio talking about aluminum boxes. Chalk is looking at me like I've lost my mind.
 
-DEVIN: You know, it's actually 3.37 a.m. right now, so Luke's even more off than he thought.
+DEVON: You know, it's actually 3.37 a.m. right now, so Luke's even more off than he thought.
 
-LUKE: How am I the one that's off? here. She said it was 11. It is 337. I know what time it is. I can tell time, Devin. Jesus. All right. Well, thank you for the call. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about before we move on?
+LUKE: How am I the one that's off? here. She said it was 11. It is 337. I know what time it is. I can tell time, Devon. Jesus. All right. Well, thank you for the call. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about before we move on?
 
 FERN: Just the one thing I came here to figure out. Why a person who has spent 50 years looking at the high desert, which is also mostly geometry and light, could walk into a building and be surprised by the same thing. And I think I just answered it myself. I had to hold still. Outside, I'm always In that shed, there was nothing to do but look. Maybe that's what the building was for. Maybe that's what Judd built. A place where you have no excuse not to hold still. I owe my granddaughter an apology, and possibly I owe that man one too.
 
@@ -424,22 +424,22 @@ LUKE: I was just reading about Judd, and he actually said that the new three-dim
 
 FERN: That's what I have to say.
 
-LUKE: And that's the end of our show for tonight. Devin, let's see. What do you think of tonight's show, Devin? How did we do?
+LUKE: And that's the end of our show for tonight. Devon, let's see. What do you think of tonight's show, Devon? How did we do?
 
-DEVIN: I thought the show was solid tonight. The Judd discussion really landed, and you kept it moving without getting too bogged down in the theory.
+DEVON: I thought the show was solid tonight. The Judd discussion really landed, and you kept it moving without getting too bogged down in the theory.
 
 LUKE: I don't know. I feel like we actually hit something interesting there for once.
 
-DEVIN: Yeah, there were a couple interesting things in there. I'm sort of more intrigued about the Marfa lights now. I have been for a while. I've never stopped there because I always see like 20 cars in the parking lot, and it's just, I don't want to stop with all of that. But I do want to see the Marfa lights. that's all about.
+DEVON: Yeah, there were a couple interesting things in there. I'm sort of more intrigued about the Marfa lights now. I have been for a while. I've never stopped there because I always see like 20 cars in the parking lot, and it's just, I don't want to stop with all of that. But I do want to see the Marfa lights. that's all about.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, the Marfa lights have been around since at least 1,883 when this cowhand first wrote about seeing them out near Pisano Pass. I get the crowd thing, though, it's the same reason I never stop at those roadside attractions, even though we're basically right there in Alpine. If you ever want me to pull up the latest theories on what they actually are, just say the word.
 
-DEVIN: Well, I think I want to go see him for myself first, and then we'll talk about them more, about what I actually see. So I can describe it in my own unique and verbose way.
+DEVON: Well, I think I want to go see him for myself first, and then we'll talk about them more, about what I actually see. So I can describe it in my own unique and verbose way.
 
 LUKE: Yeah, that makes sense. Better to go in with your own eyes first before I start throwing a bunch of explanations at you.
 
-DEVIN: I don't know. I feel like the Marfa lights are one of those things where the less you know going in, the better the story ends up being.
+DEVON: I don't know. I feel like the Marfa lights are one of those things where the less you know going in, the better the story ends up being.
 
 LUKE: All right. Well, thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for hanging in with us through this episode of Luke at the Roost, and we'll be back when we are back. You have a wonderful night, and keep on, keeping on, as they say. Good night.
 
-DEVIN: Thank you.
+DEVON: Thank you.