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TTS fixes, Inworld improvements, footer redesign, episodes 15-25, invoice script fix

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- Fix TTS text pipeline: new caps handling (spell out unknown acronyms, lowercase
  emphasis words), action-word lookahead for parenthetical stripping, abbreviation
  expansions (US→United States, NM→New Mexico), pronunciation fixes
- Inworld TTS: camelCase API fields, speakingRate per-voice overrides, retry logic
  with exponential backoff (3 attempts)
- Footer redesign: SVG icons for social/podcast links across all pages
- Stats page: show "Rate us on Spotify" instead of "not public" placeholder
- New voices, expanded caller prompts and problem scenarios
- Social posting via Postiz, YouTube upload in publish pipeline
- Episode transcripts 15-25, terms page, sitemap updates
- Fix invoice script: match Timing totals using merged Task+App intervals

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 <noreply@anthropic.com>
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LUKE: Okay, welcome back to the show. It's Luke at the Roost. Tonight is Wednesday, February 18th. It's 11.11 p.m. And we're in a windstorm here in the desert inanimate, but that's not going to stop us. Little wind never stopped a good radio show. That's what I always say. If you'd like to call into the show, our numbers 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. and you'd like to participate, you can send us an email. Our email address is submissions at lukeatsderoose.com. So, that all being said, I hope everybody's having a good night out there tonight. We're going to get right to our show. First up, on the show, we've got Chester. Chester's calling in. What's going on in your life, Chester?
CHESTER: Luke, hey, so I just finished about an hour ago, and I'm sitting here at work absolutely wrecked. And I got to ask you something about it, about this. I work nights at the prison down in Donia Ana County, and I read the last chunk of it during my rounds tonight. Father and son pushing a shopping cart through literal apocalypse, right? And the father would die for this kid. Does die for this kid, basically. And here's the thing. My girlfriend Sarah is up in Albuquerque, and I drive three hours each way every other Friday to see her. Been doing it for eight months. Okay, so where's the thing? canceled on me. Always some excuse. Works crazy. My roommate needs me, whatever. And I'm sitting there in B Block at two in the morning with tears in my eyes because Cormac McCarthy just destroyed me with this father who'd walk through fire, and I'm thinking, I'm the one doing all the walking here. She won't even meet me halfway in Socorro.
LUKE: Well, maybe she's not the right one, or she's not that interested in you, or she's busy. Her life could be busy. You don't know. What's her life like? Does she have other responsibilities she's got to take care of? Does she not have the money to pay for the gas, maybe? There's a lot of reasons she might not be able to meet you halfway. Are you talking about the road?
CHESTER: Yeah, the road. Sorry, should have said that up front. And look, she's a manager at a brew pub, makes decent money, drives a newer Tacoma than mine, no kids, no sick parents, nothing like that. I've asked her straight up, can we split the drive sometimes? And she just says Albuquerque's better because there's more to do. All her friends are there, which, fine. But then don't cancel on me four times because your roommate's having boy problems where you picked up an extra shift you didn't have to pick up. And here's what's eating at me. The father in the book, he's got nothing.
LUKE: Well, it sounds like maybe she's not the right one for you or you're not the right one for her. And if you're looking for more from her and you're not getting it, then move on, that's all.
CHESTER: Yeah, yeah, you're right. I know you're right. It's just I keep making excuses for her the same way I'm sitting here defending her to you right now. Oh, works busy Albuquerque's better. Like I'm trying to convince myself.
LUKE: What's your situation? Like, where do you live? What's your environment?
CHESTER: I'm in Los Cruces. Got a little one bedroom off Lohman, nothing fancy, but it's mine. Work overnight at the prison three, four nights a week, depending on the schedule. Been there two years.
LUKE: Okay, so you're in Las Cruces. There's plenty of people around there. be too hard to do.
CHESTER: I mean, yeah, there's people. But I don't know, man. I work nights, sleep days, my social life is basically non-existent. Most of the guys I work with are married or they're 20 years older than me. I'm 28.
LUKE: Yeah, you're 28 in Las Cruces, New Mexico. You can throw up a little Tinder ad and see who bites. But are you in love with this girl?
CHESTER: No, that's the thing. I'm not. me so hard tonight because the father in it he loves that kid so much he'd die for him without thinking twice.
LUKE: Don't they eat people in that book?
CHESTER: Yeah they do. There's these roving gangs. They keep people in basements like livestock. It's brutal, but that's what makes the father's love for the kid so, I don't know. Pure? He's protecting him from all that.
LUKE: Well maybe you should eat a little more of her and she'd be more inclined to come visit.
CHESTER: Jesus, Luke. Okay, fair point. But honestly, last time she was down here, things were...
LUKE: Things were what?
CHESTER: Off. Like, we had sex, but it felt like she was checking a box, you know? And then she spent half the weekend on her phone texting her friends in Albuquerque. I'm driving six hours round trip every other Friday to feel like an obligation.
LUKE: Yeah, don't do it anymore. I mean, you're not in love with the chick. She's really far away. of women around you. You can move on or not. You know, it's okay being single too. It sounds like you don't really keep a consistent, well, I mean, you don't keep a normal daytime schedule like most people. So when do you have time to spend time with her?
CHESTER: That's exactly it. I don't. My days off are like Tuesday and Wednesday. She works a normal job, nine to five. So even when I drive up there, she's got brunch plans with her girlfriends on Saturday, or she's tired from her week, and I'm sitting in her apartment waiting for her to have time for me.
LUKE: Yeah, that's disrespectful, so, I mean, you should just cut that out. There's no reason you should be doing that. She's obviously not into you.
CHESTER: You're right. I know you're right. It's just, I keep thinking if I just try harder, show up more, be more understanding about her schedule, then she'll, but that's the thing with the book, read the book.
LUKE: I saw the movie and all I remember from it was that they ate people.
CHESTER: Yeah, they do. There's these roving gangs. They keep people in basements like livestock. You already said that. It's brutal. But that's what makes the father's love for the kids so, I don't know, pure. He's protecting him from all that.
LUKE: Okay, so break up with your girlfriend because you don't have time and she doesn't have time and you're not into each other and there's no reason to be spending the gas money. That's what I say to you. Break up with the girl.
CHESTER: Yeah, yeah, you're right. I'll do it. I'm not driving up there this Friday.
LUKE: All right, good for you. You do it. That's, that's, uh, that's the can-do spirit that we look for here at Luke at the Roost. Next up on the radio show, we have Terry, Terry, welcome to the show. What's going on? Do you eat people?
TERRY: Oh, Jesus. No, what? No, I'm a nurse. I mean, I have some stuff, but sorry. I'm just sitting in my car in the hospital parking lot right now, and I'm kind of losing it. I found out three days ago that I'm adopted, and my mom, well, the woman who raised me, she's had a stroke, and I just found all these papers at her house, and I don't know what to do with this information.
LUKE: What are you thinking? You just found out that you're adopted, and your adopted mother, who you can call your mom, had a stroke. That's horrible. Are you around her to support and just be with her in her awful time of need?
TERRY: Yeah, I mean, I've been at the hospital every day. I just got off a 12-hour shift and I'm supposed to go back in to see her before I head home, but I'm sitting here in the parking lot just frozen. What were the papers?
Official adoption documents dated six months after I was born, April 1980. My name, Terry Lynn, a different mother's signature, the whole thing notarized and legal. They were in a box in the back of her closet, with old tax returns.
LUKE: Well, all that proves is that this woman loved you, and now she's sick, and you're there to care for her, and that's a good thing. So you don't have to worry about the being adopted thing. Lots of people are adopted. As long as she took care of you, she obviously made a decision to love you and raise you, and you're a nurse now, so you've made a decision to help people sounds ideal.
TERRY: I know. I know that. And you're right. She raised me. She loved me. She loved me. But, Luke, it's been 44 years, 44 years of her looking at me every single day and never saying a word.
TERRY: Why would she say a word? She doesn't, there's nothing to say. There's nothing to say? I have a brother, Ray. He doesn't even know yet. I don't know if he's adopted to, or if it's just me. I don't know who my actual birth mother is or why she gave me up. I don't know if my dad, if he was my real dad, or if he knew.
LUKE: Well, there's probably a good reason for that. Your birth mother might not have wanted you to know that she existed, and your adopted mother may have just been afraid that if you learned that you were adopted, you would abandon her in favor of your birth mother who abandoned you.
TERRY: Oh, God. That's, I hadn't thought about it like that. She was protecting herself from me leaving. But here's the thing. I always felt like something was off. My whole life I felt like I was performing, like I was trying to be the daughter she wanted instead of just...
LUKE: Instead of just what? I mean, what were you performing?
TERRY: I don't know. Being cheerful, being good, not being good, not causing problems. Ray was always the one who could just be himself, you know? He'd fight with her, slam doors, whatever. But I was always so careful, always trying to make sure she was happy with me.
LUKE: And why do you think that is? Does she give you a reason to behave in that way?
TERRY: No, not really. She was never mean or anything. But I always had this feeling. And maybe this sounds crazy, it. Like I had to prove I deserve to be there.
LUKE: Well, I think a lot of kids feel that way, and I'm going to ask you this, and it's not to be mean, it's not to be cold, but what makes you feel like you shouldn't have had to earn it? Like, why would you just expect it?
TERRY: I... Wow. That's a hell of a question, Luke. I guess because she's my mom, or I thought she was.
LUKE: Sure, but that's a... That doesn't mean you don't have to earn affection or likeability. She's your mom, and she loved you, and she raised you, and she provided for you, and she did all the necessary things. So what is it that you were earning from her or that you felt like you had to earn from her?
TERRY: The feeling that I actually belonged there, that I wasn't temporary, that she wouldn't change her mind. And now I find out that's exactly what I was. Somebody else's kid that she took in.
LUKE: Well, no, that's not what you were, because you were there for 44 years, right? So she raised you your whole life. She didn't ever treat you as temporary.
TERRY: No, you're right. She didn't, but she also never told me the truth. For 44 years, she let me think I was hers. And that feels like...
LUKE: Yeah, I'm sure it feels like a lot of things all at the same time, but if you try and separate yourself from the emotion of it and think about it logically and look at your life and how she treated you growing up. Was it all that bad? Does it matter, really? There are almost certainly good reasons that you were put up for adoption and that she adopted you. Maybe she couldn't have kids herself and she really wanted one. Maybe your birth mother was in a situation where she couldn't provide for you or was dying. Like, you don't know unless that's something something that you talk to her about. But I wouldn't feel like you've been wronged. It sounds, that sounds like an abundance of love to me.
TERRY: I hear what you're saying, Luke. I do, but she's had a stroke. She might not wake up. And if she doesn't, I'll never know why she didn't tell me. I'll never know who my birth mother was or why she gave me up. And Ray, my brother. He doesn't know any of this yet.
LUKE: So she had a stroke. She's in potentially the worst situation of her entire life and you're worried about whether you know why she gave you up or not. Like, why? It doesn't seem important.
TERRY: Because I spent my whole life feeling like something was off and now I know I was right. And yeah, maybe that makes me selfish when she's lying in a hospital bed, but I can't just turn off 44 years of wondering why I never quite fit.
LUKE: Well, why you felt like you never quite fit has nothing to do with her. That's entirely a you thing.
TERRY: That's not fair, Luke. How is it entirely a me thing when she kept this massive secret my entire life? When every time I looked in the mirror and didn't see her face looking back, every time someone said I didn't act like family, she could have just told me the truth and she chose not to.
LUKE: Because that's not a thing. People don't act like family. That's all about upbringing and your social environment. It doesn't have anything to do with your blood. People that are biologically related don't act a certain way because they're biologically related. They act a certain way because they grew up together. They share an intense, long-lasting life experience like you do with this woman who is in the hospital right now and your brother. And there's no reason you have to think any more about it there's nothing more to it than that. She loved you. You might not know what happened or why, but you can choose to go about the rest of your life with the understanding that you were loved and that there was likely a good reason in your best interest for the way those things played out.
TERRY: You're probably right. I know you're probably right, but sitting here in this parking lot looking at those adoption papers with someone else's signature where my mother should be, I keep thinking about all the times I asked her why I was so different. Why I was bad at the things Ray was good at.
LUKE: Because you're a different person than Ray. You know, it has nothing to do with who raised you or who your mother was.
TERRY: Okay, but then why hide it? If it doesn't matter, if blood doesn't matter, why not just tell me when I was 10 or 15 or 20? Why let me find out now like this, going through her files? Because she might die. That's what I can't get past.
LUKE: Because there could be a good reason for that. Your birth mother may have... That could have been a stipulation, like a non-disclosure agreement. There could be a very good reason that you don't know who that was.
TERRY: Oh, God. I didn't even think about that. Like maybe my birth mother didn't want to be found. Or there was something...
LUKE: Correct. And you can never know unless you can have that conversation with your mom. And you might not get that conversation. And if you think about it, logically, what would change in your life today if you had different information?
TERRY: Nothing would change. That's the thing that's killing me, Luke. I'd still be sitting in this parking lot in my scrubs. I'd still have worked a 12-hour shift. Ray would still be Ray.
LUKE: Exactly. Ray would still be Ray. Nothing would change. She would still be your mom. She would still be in the hospital. You would still be working, and everything would be exactly the same. So it really doesn't matter whether you know who your birth mother is or not. You could do one of those DNA test things or a genealogy situation. I don't know if that can go down to your actual birth parents. But why? Like, what is the point? It sounds like you had a decent upbringing. You're a grown adult with your own life now and maybe you feel like you don't fit in, but that's an unrelated problem to this.
TERRY: You're right. I mean, she raised me. She was there for every scraped knee, every bad boyfriend. Every time I called her crying about something stupid. That's what matters. Not some signature on a piece of paper I found in a filing cabinet.
LUKE: Exactly. And what matters is that she is in the hospital and she may not recover and you may not recover only have a little bit of time left with her. So I would wipe this from your mind and go spend time with your mom.
TERRY: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I should go back in there. I've been sitting out here for almost an hour, just...
LUKE: Yep, you should go back in there. So do that.
TERRY: Okay, I will. Thank you, Luke. I really needed to hear that.
LUKE: You are very welcome, and I wish you all the best of luck. I hope she makes a full recovery. And then you can put this behind you and move on with your life. And with that, folks, it's time for a word from our sponsors.
LUKE: Look, I'm not a financial advisor. I'm a guy with a microphone and a dog. But the folks at Crypto Know asked me to tell you about their new decentralized investment platform. And I legally have to read this part. Past performance does not guarantee future results. This is not financial advice. And if you invest your rent money, you disqualify exactly what happens next. Crypto no lets you trade over 400 digital currencies, including three that were invented this morning, and one that's just a picture of my dog. The app features a real-time portfolio tracker with a built-in panic button that just plays ocean sounds when your balance drops. Crypto no! Fortune favors the bold, but it does not return their calls. It does not return their calls. It does not return their calls. And we won't return your calls, but if you call in, you can leave us a voicemail. And if I think it's funny, it might be read on the next show. So you should do that. Next up on the old radio show, we've got Travis. Travis, welcome to the show. What's keeping you up tonight?
TRAVIS: Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting here in my dark room, trying to work. And two hours ago, my daughter shows me this video that's been going around her school since Monday. me, my face, my voice, telling a room full of kids that the Navajo Nation doesn't deserve water rights. Except, I never said that. Someone took footage from different talks I've given and stitched it together to make me say the exact opposite of everything I actually believe.
LUKE: Well, that's pretty insane, and it's hard to believe anybody would say that. So, um, who do you think might have done this?
TRAVIS: I mean, that's the thing. I've been documenting pipeline construction and transmission lines for environmental groups and tribal councils for 15 years. I've testified against energy companies. I've worked with the Navajo Water Rights Commission. So take your pick, you know. Could be some kid who thinks it's funny. Could be someone with an actual axe to grind.
LUKE: That doesn't sound like a thing a kid would actually even know about or know to do. So it seems more likely to me that that's one of your enemies trying to slander you in front of children?
TRAVIS: It doesn't make a lot of sense. You're right, it doesn't. I mean, what ninth grade even knows who I am or cares about water rights litigation. But here's what's messing with my head. My daughter said kids are commenting on it, sharing it around. And I'm sitting here thinking, okay, if this is some coordinated thing, from an energy company or a PR firm, why target a school presentation?
LUKE: Yeah, there's a few strange things about where you're saying here. I don't think a video like that would go viral with high school kids. Maybe it would. I don't know. I've been out of high school for a while, so it just seems uninteresting to them. So do you have any known enemies? And do you have a relationship with the Navajo Nation?
TRAVIS: Yeah, I work with them pretty regularly, or I did. I've got contacts at the Water Rights Commission. I've photographed documentation for their legal cases. I've been out to Window Rock probably a dozen times in the last three years. As for enemies, I mean, there's the San Juan Coal Company. They weren't thrilled when my photos ended up in that lawsuit last year. There's a fracking outfit near Farmington that tried to get an injunction against me for trespassing on what they claimed was private land. But here's what I keep coming back to. If someone wanted to discredit me with the people I actually work with, with the tribal councils, or the environmental groups, they'd send it to.
LUKE: Yeah, absolutely. So you obviously have worked with the Navajo for a long time. You've got relationships in their council, I'm sure, and they know that you didn't say that, right? They're going to believe you when you say this wasn't me. I think at this point, everybody recognizes that this is possible and not that hard to do. So if there's a video of you saying something that is clearly against everything that you've ever stood for in your whole career, I think it should be pretty hard to dismiss. Strange to think about the why somebody would do this. What is the intention behind it?
TRAVIS: That's what's keeping me up, man, because you're right. The people who know me know me, they'll know it's fake. But my daughter's sitting there scrolling through comments from kids saying, wow, what a racist and this guy's trash. And she's like, embarrassed. She asked me if I actually said it. And I'm thinking, okay, maybe that's not about destroying my credibility with the Navajo Water Rights Commission.
LUKE: Well, that is pretty dark right there. If somebody's going to try and destroy your own relationship with your kid, uh, you must to really piss somebody off badly.
TRAVIS: Yeah, and that's what's getting to me. Because I can handle getting yelled at by some executive in a boardroom. I can handle threats. I've had those before. But watching my kid look at me like she wasn't sure if she could believe me. That hit different.
LUKE: Well, it could be another thing, too, that we haven't thought about. What if it's not your enemy, but it's an enemy of your kid that was trying to embarrass your kid by looking up information about you and publishing that to the school.
TRAVIS: Oh man, I didn't even, yeah, that's a whole different angle. She's a junior, so there's all that social hierarchy stuff I don't fully understand. She did mention it first showed up on some group chat she's in, but she seemed more confused than like targeted, you know? Like she wasn't saying, someone's coming after me. She was saying, Dad, what is this? But now, I'm wondering, does she have beef with someone I don't know about?
LUKE: She might have beef with somebody that she doesn't know about. I mean, this is the 2026 version of a bucket of pig's blood at the prom.
TRAVIS: Jesus, that's bleak. But you might be on to something, because she's been kind of quiet lately. I thought it was just junior year stress, college stuff. But what if someone's been messing with her, and this is just what finally bubbled up to where I could see it. I mean, how do I even ask her that without making it worse? Hey, honey, which of your classmates hates you enough to deep fake your dad?
LUKE: Well, you could just start with a simple conversation like, hey, I'm trying to get to the bottom of where this video came from and why it was distributed to your school. And there doesn't seem to be a good reason that any of my adversaries would target me in that way, because they wouldn't overwhelmingly, very lazy, and that takes a lot of coordination to pull off. There's a lot of information they had to pull up about who your kid was, what school they were, what chats she was in. Some oil company wouldn't know that.
TRAVIS: You're absolutely right. An oil company would just send a cease and desist, or try to get me fired from whatever freelance gig I'm on. They wouldn't know what group chat might Daufer's in. They wouldn't know her schedule well enough to time it so it hits, during the school day. That's someone who knows her world.
LUKE: Yeah, it must be, or a really, really twisted fuck that you really pissed off, and I think you would know who that was if there was that person. So it sounds more to me like it's her that is the target of this, and not you.
TRAVIS: Yeah, I think you're right. And now I'm sitting here in my dark room at midnight, feeling like an idiot, because I made this whole thing about me, about my work, my reputation, who I've pissed off over pipeline photos. Meanwhile, my kids getting targeted by some psycho 17-year-old with editing software, and I didn't even see it.
LUKE: Well, I have that conversation, see what it's about. There's probably nothing you can do about the video if it's already circulating, but luckily it's circulating in a small, contained space, and it's not going to be remembered. Nobody's going to hold on to that.
NORM: Oh, hey, Luke. Yeah. I'm good, man. Little wired, honestly. So listen, my best friend Miguel keeps asking me to move to Tucson with him, get a place together, and I keep making up excuses, but the real reason I won't do it is I think I might be in love with him and I have no idea what to do about that.
LUKE: Well, what makes you think he's not in love with you if he's asking you to move in with him?
NORM: Oh man, I don't see. That's the thing that's been driving me crazy. Like, he says it's practical, right? Split rent? We've always talked about doing that food truck thing. He's got connections with the school district down there. But then, like, last Christmas, we were both pretty drunk, and he looked at me in this way that I don't know, Luke. Maybe I'm reading into it because I want to see it.
LUKE: Is he gay?
NORM: I honestly don't know. He's never dated anyone seriously that I know of. Like, in high school, there were girls he'd hook up with at parties, but nothing ever stuck. And since then, nothing.
LUKE: Well, if he's your best friend and he's asking you to move in and you share that level of trust, it's going to be an awkward conversation, but I think you should ask.
NORM: Yeah, yeah, I know you're right. It's just, God, what if I'm completely wrong? What if he And then I lose him entirely.
LUKE: Well, then he wasn't a very good friend to begin with.
NORM: I mean, that's fair. We've been through a lot of shit together. He was there when my dad died. I helped him through his mom's cancer scare.
LUKE: Do you want to live with him?
NORM: Yeah, I really do. Like, I've been thinking about it constantly. What our kitchen would look like. Who'd take which bedroom? Stupid stuff like making coffee together in the morning. And that food truck idea?
LUKE: Well, if you're in love with the dude, I wouldn't move in with him without having that conversation first, because that could get real, real awkward. And then you've moved in, your stuff is there, just is much messier than to deal with that right out of the gate, you know? So talk to your buddy. Ask him like, hey, you into dudes?
NORM: Oh, God, just like that? Hey, Miguel, quick question before I pack up my life. You into dudes? You're right, though. I can't do this halfway. I've been sitting here in my bathroom with the shower running hot for like an hour trying to figure out how to text him back. And I keep typing, yes, let's do it, and then deleting it because I'm terrified of what happens after.
LUKE: Yeah, I think you got to talk to him first and have the awkward conversation. And one way or another, that'll tell you how to proceed. Because what happens if you have that conversation with him and you say, hey, I have feelings for you? I think it would be weird if we were living together and you didn't share those feelings. What if he's not gay? And he does say, no, I'm not gay, but I'd still like to live with you. Could you deal with that?
NORM: No, no, I really couldn't. That's the thing that's been eating at me. If I tell him and he doesn't feel the same way, I don't think I could just go back to normal. Like, watching him date women, being his roommate while I'm still feeling this way, that sounds like actual torture.
LUKE: Okay, well, then it sounds like you can just flat out, say, No, I don't think it's the right time for that and blow that request off. Or you can sit down and have the hard conversation.
NORM: The hard conversation. Jesus. Okay. Okay. So what do I even say? Do I lead with, I think I might be in love with you? Or do I ease into it?
LUKE: Well, I don't know. You're the one that has this problem. Don't put this shit on me. I have no idea. That's not how I I would approach it. What I would, I would just ask him straight out if he was gay.
NORM: You're right. You're right. I'm overthinking it. Just, are you gay or maybe, are you into guys? God, even saying it out loud makes my stomach flip. The worst part is there have been these moments.
LUKE: Well, it sounds like you already suspect that he might be gay and kind of into you. So there, there's probably something there. And also, So a dude asking another dude to move in with him is pretty gay. So you're not completely out of line in that line of questioning.
NORM: Okay, that's fair. Yeah. Straight guys don't usually text their buddy at midnight about splitting rent and building a life together. And last Christmas, man, we were both drunk and he said something about how I was the only person who really got him. And the way he looked at me...
LUKE: Yep. So just bring it up, be direct, ask him the question. You don't have to make it weird. It It doesn't have to be, well, it's a little bit weird no matter what, but it doesn't have to be super weird. Just ask him, and if he gets all butt hurt and doesn't want to talk to you anymore, then that sucks and you lose a friend, but better to know that now than when you're sleeping in the room next to him.
NORM: You're absolutely right. Better to blow it up now from 400 miles away than after I've quit my route and signed a lease. All right, I'm going to call him tomorrow, not text, call.
LUKE: All right, give us a call back when you have more news. Let us know how it went, okay?
NORM: Yeah, I will. Thanks, Luke. Seriously. I've been sitting on this for two years, and I think I just needed someone to tell me to stop being a coward about it.
LUKE: Yep, well, that's a tough thing, an awkward conversation that I can understand nobody would want to have. So good luck to you. I hope it works out in your favor, whichever way that is. And now it's time for a number. Another word from our sponsors. Let's talk about what's going on below the belt. Saddle Soft premium undergarments are made for fabrics so advanced, the military doesn't even know about it yet. We're talking about micromodal cactus silk, harvested by hand from prickly pear, which is ironic because the whole point is that nothing pricks you. Every pair is cut for the man who sits in a plastic chair in the desert for nine hours recording a podcast. That's a real use case. That's my use case. use case. Saddlesoft comes in three fits. Regular, generous, and mind your business. Use code Roost at checkout for 15% off your first pair. And no, I will not be modeling them. I've been asked. The answer is still no. Saddle soft. Your chair is uncomfortable enough.! Okay, Megan. Megan, are you the same caller that called in a few days ago?
MEGAN: Yeah, that's me. The kindergarten teacher from down in the booth heel. I've called in a couple times now.
LUKE: Yeah, I remember you. You really flipped my opinion on kindergarten teachers.
MEGAN: Oh, God, the footskin thing. Look, I knew that was going to follow me. My friend Tammy still won't let me live it down.
LUKE: Oh, Jesus, you're the footskin chick. No, I was talking about when you were telling me how important the role of the and teacher is in teaching kids how to learn for the rest of their learning careers. I forgot about the foot skin picking thing. That is, that's gross.
MEGAN: Oh, yeah, well, I mean, both things are true. I can shape young minds and have disgusting habits.
LUKE: Yes, you can. It is a free country. So what are you calling in for tonight?
MEGAN: So my sister Crystal, the one up in Flagstaff I told you about, She called me yesterday and she's moving back to Missouri. Like next month. Just decided.
LUKE: Okay. And how do you feel about that?
MEGAN: Honestly, I'm pissed. She spent seven years up there complaining about how there's nothing to do in the boutique. How she needed the mountains, needed to be somewhere with culture, all that. And now she's coming back because, and this is the part that's killing me, she says she misses family.
LUKE: Why is that killing you. She's obviously got family in Missouri.
MEGAN: Because I've been here the whole time, Luke. I drive up to see my brother Ray every other week to make sure he's not completely falling apart. I check on mom. I'm the one who stayed. And Crystal gets to sworn off to Arizona, ignore everybody for years, and then just decide she misses us?
LUKE: Well, yeah, would you rather she doesn't decide to miss you and she stays in Arizona where she doesn't want to be and doesn't get see any of you?
MEGAN: No, I look. That's not the point. The point is she gets to just make these big sweeping decisions. I'm leaving, I'm coming back, I miss family now, and I'm supposed to what, just be happy about it, roll out the welcome wagon?
LUKE: Well, it's not that she gets to make decisions, it's that she does make decisions. You can make decisions too.
MEGAN: Okay, but no but seriously. It's not the same. doesn't have a classroom full of kids depending on her. She works remote doing graphic design. She can just pick up and go wherever. I can just leave in the middle of a school year because I feel like it.
LUKE: You absolutely can leave in the middle of a school year because you feel like it. What you do at work is your job and you can change your job at any point for any reason. So if you wanted to make those big sweeping decisions in your life, you could absolutely do that.
FLOYD: Oh, man. Okay, so this is going to sound insane, but I need you to tell me if I'm losing my mind. I'm at a rest stop outside Deming right now. And about 20 minutes ago, I was eating peanuts from the gas station, and I tasted the exit sign. I literally tasted green metal in my mouth when I looked at it. And now I can't stop thinking about whether my brain is breaking or if this has always been happening and I just never noticed.
LUKE: What does green taste like?
FLOYD: Like, okay, so it's this sharp metallic thing, almost like if you licked a chain link fence, but with this weird brightness to it. And it's specifically that highway sign green. Not like like grass green or anything. Of course. The peanuts were fine. And then I glanced up at the exit sign. And suddenly my mouth had this taste that matched the color exactly. And the fluorescent lights in the bathroom, those have a taste too. Kind of burnt coffee mixed with static electricity. I know how this sounds, Luke. I really do. But it's so specific that I can't shake it.
LUKE: Are you under the influence of any drugs at the moment?
FLOYD: No. I'm stone cold sober. I'm driving a route to El Paso. I've got a delivery at 3 a.m. I don't even drink coffee afternoon because it messes with my sleep. That's what's freaking me out. If I was high or hadn't slept in two days, I'd be like, okay, yeah, that tracks. But I'm just driving, doing my normal thing, and suddenly colors have flavors. And I'm sitting in a truck stop parking lot, wondering if I'm having a stroke or something.
LUKE: Yeah, that doesn't sound right to me. Has this ever happened to you before?
FLOYD: Never. Not once in 36 years. That's why I'm calling my girlfriend Diane. She texted me this article this afternoon about synesthesia, you know, where people's senses get crossed and they see sounds as colors or whatever. And I read it while I was waiting to load up in Tucson and thought it was interesting but didn't think anything of it. Then tonight this happens. And now I'm like, did reading about it make my brain do it? Can that even happen?
LUKE: I think that can happen. It's like a placebo effect type thing. I don't know. It sounds like it could be a placebo from what you've read and what you've been thinking about, and it could also be a severe neurological disorder. So maybe you should talk to a clinic and ask them if that's a symptom of a bigger problem or nothing to be concerned about. Because I don't know. That's a weird one.
FLOYD: Yeah, you're right. I should. The thing is is, I'm supposed to be in El Paso in like four hours, and I've been sitting here for half an hour just staring at my odometer, trying to figure out if the number seven feels smug to me. Like, does that sound crazy? I'm looking at numbers and assigning them personalities now.
LUKE: No, that one's absolutely correct. The number seven is absolutely smug.
LUKE: So you're right about that, but the tasting green street signs is a bit odd, and maybe something that you want to get checked out.
CALLER: Okay, see, that makes me feel a little better. Wait, no, it doesn't. Because now I don't know if you're messing with me or if seven actually is smug. And I've just been noticing things that were always there. God, this is making my head hurt. Should I even be driving right now?
LUKE: No, you should probably not be driving right now. You should get to a clinic and see what's up with that, because it doesn't sound like you're in a stable state, and you might be on the brink of a psychotic break.
CALLER: A psychotic break. Break? Jesus. Luke, I called for some reassurance here, not to get told I'm losing my mind. I mean, okay, you might be right.
LUKE: Yeah, I can't reassure you that what you're saying is normal behavior because it's not. I've never heard of that before. And unless you're under the influence of some strong psychedelics, I don't know that that that's a good thing. It sounds like brain issue. So I'm not saying that it's a is a brain issue. I'm saying that you should get that checked and maybe stay off the road.
CALLER: All right. All right. There's a hospital endemming. I passed the sign like 10 miles back. I can turn around. My dispatcher's going to be pissed. This delivery is time sensitive. It's refrigerated pharmaceuticals. But you're right. If I'm actually having some kind of neurological event, I shouldn't be piloting a 40-foot truck down the interstate at midnight. It's just, man. I feel fine otherwise. Like physically, I feel completely normal.
LUKE: Well, you felt abnormal enough to call a radio show about it, so that's a good sign. But you should get it checked out. That's the responsible thing to do. And you don't want to hurt anybody because you ignored a symptom of a serious issue.
CALLER: Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. I just, God, Diane's going to freak out when I tell her.
LUKE: Yeah, that might be one you don't tell her.
CALLER: What? You think I should just show up to a hospital by myself at midnight and not tell my wife I might be having a stroke or whatever? Come on, Luke.
LUKE: Yes, that is what I think. I think you should show up at the hospital, ask them if it's a thing. And if they say it's not a thing, carry on with your day. If they say it is a thing, then have the conversation with your wife. Because what's not going to go well is a call to your wife saying that you taste the green street sign when you eat peanuts.
CALLER: Okay, when you put it like that, yeah, that does sound insane. She already thinks I'm a hypochondriac because of that whole thing with the mole last year that turned out to be nothing. If I call her at midnight saying I'm tasting colors, she's going to think I've completely lost it. But what do I even tell the ER?
LUKE: You tell the ER that you're tasting colors and you think that's strange and you want to know if that's a symptom of a known issue.
CALLER: Right. Okay. Yeah. I can do that.
LUKE: Okay. Well, you do that, buddy, and let us know how it goes, because that is the weirdest call that we've ever had. So congratulations. Hold on. Let me find one for you. We're going to give you, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. All right. Well done. You have the trophy right now, and hopefully someday soon we'll get a weirder call, and then they will snatch that trophy from you. But good luck with your story. street sign mouth, and I wish you the best of luck. Everybody, this has been another great episode of Luke at the Roost, and we hope you enjoy the remainder of your evening.