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Ep13 publish, MLX whisper, voicemail system, hero redesign, massive topic expansion

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- Switch whisper transcription from faster-whisper (CPU) to lightning-whisper-mlx (GPU)
- Fix word_timestamps hanging, use ffprobe for accurate duration
- Add Cloudflare Pages Worker for SignalWire voicemail fallback when server offline
- Add voicemail sync on startup, delete tracking, save feature
- Add /feed RSS proxy to _worker.js (was broken by worker taking over routing)
- Redesign website hero section: ghost buttons, compact phone, plain text links
- Rewrite caller prompts for faster point-getting and host-following
- Expand TOPIC_CALLIN from ~250 to 547 entries across 34 categories
- Add new categories: biology, psychology, engineering, math, geology, animals,
  work, money, books, movies, relationships, health, language, true crime,
  drunk/high/unhinged callers
- Remove bad Inworld voices (Pixie, Dominus), reduce repeat caller frequency
- Add audio monitor device routing, uvicorn --reload-dir fix
- Publish episode 13

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 <noreply@anthropic.com>
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LUKE: All right, welcome back. It's Luke at the Roost. This is the radio show where I take your calls and give you real-world advice. If you'd like to call in, the numbers 208-439-58-3-3. That's 208-439 Luke. And we have a new feature to the show. Now, if you call in and we're not recording, you can leave a voicemail. And if your voicemail is funny enough, I will play it on the next episode. If we all, we all, we are, you all. We are, you all, you can leave a voicemail. If we are, you call in, we are, if you can leave a voicemail. If we are, if you are, if you can leave you can recording and you call in now, you'll be placed into a queue, and I can take your call, and we'll talk to you live on the air. Today is Sunday, February 15th. It's about 10.30, and our phones are already lighting up, as they usually are around now. And first up on the show, we have Phil. Phil, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about tonight?
PHIL: Oh, man, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I'm sitting in my truck right now, because Three hours ago, my brother sent me a screenshot of my partner's Tinder profile, and I can't go home yet.
LUKE: Oh, what was the screenshot? Was it a picture you're familiar with?
PHIL: Yeah, it's this photo from last month. We went up to Sedona. I paid for the whole trip, and Marcus bought this ridiculous cowboy hat at some tourist shop. We were laughing about it, you know, like it was this inside joke between us. Tinder photo.
LUKE: So what are you going to do? Do you have a Tinder profile as well? Are you going to match with them?
PHIL: Oh, Jesus. I haven't even thought about that. No, I don't have one. I mean, I thought we were past all that. But that's kind of genius in a horrible way, right? Just swipe right. See what happens?
LUKE: Yeah, maybe you've got something in common and it's worth getting together and having a little date or some type thing.
PHIL: Yeah. Hey, you look familiar. God, that's... I don't know if I'm more pissed off or if I just want to understand what the hell he's thinking. Like we've been together two years. I lost my first husband to cancer six years back, and I really thought Marcus got that... got how big a deal it was for me to do this again.
LUKE: Yeah, that sounds unfortunate. You should probably maybe confront Marcus about that and be like, hey, saw your Tinder profile. What's this about? How long you've been stepping? out, um, then make sure that whatever it is he's doing, he's doing in a protected manner, you know?
PHIL: Yeah, you're right. I mean, that's the thing that's actually making me sick right now. Like, I haven't even let myself go there yet. The health stuff.
LUKE: Well, that's the important stuff. And you might want to get yourself checked out and all that, uh, before anything becomes an issue. But talk to, talk to, talk to your partner. And, uh, maybe you've found, um, you've found, out the hard way that he's not the right partner for you.
PHIL: Yeah. Yeah. I think I already know he's not, you know? Like the second I saw that screenshot, it wasn't even shock. It was just this feeling of, oh, there it is. Like I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop this whole time and now it has. The thing is, I keep thinking about my first husband, Tom.
LUKE: And what happened with your first husband? answer? Did I get that right?
PHIL: Yeah, pancreatic. It was eight months from diagnosis to the end. And the whole time, even when he couldn't get out of bed, even when he was so sick, there was never a question, you know, never a doubt about us. And I guess I thought that's what love was supposed to look like. That's the bar.
LUKE: Hey, man, I'm sorry to hear that. And, uh, you know, some people get that once in their life. Some people get it more than once. Uh, the thing is you've got to be, You got to be all right by yourself and worry about love second. So how are you feeling individually as yourself? Do you need your partner to feel whole or would you be all right on your own?
PHIL: Man, that's the question, isn't it? I don't know. I thought I was good on my own after Tom died. I did the work, you know. Went to the grief group, got back into my photography, managed the bar, saw my friends.
LUKE: sound like it's a good idea to hang out with a dude that is seeing other people on the side without telling you. So it might be time to break up that relationship. I don't know. You should have that conversation with him. And if you've got a strike out on your own again, then do that. Get back to the photography and your friends and move on with your life.
PHIL: You're right. You're absolutely right. I just... I keep thinking about how I'm going to tell my brother
LUKE: Why is your brother in this picture? It sounds like that's none of his business.
PHIL: No, you're right, it's just he's the one who sent me the screenshot. He found Marcus on Tinder and took the screenshot and sent it to me. So now he's going to want to know what I did about it. And Eddie's got this way of making everything feel like a test I'm failing, you know? Like he's keeping score of whether I'm handling my life right.
LUKE: whatever, let him keep score. You don't have to care about what his score is. Just sit down with your partner and talk it out. If you got to break up, break up and move on. And I wish you only happiness going forward. Okay, sir. Thank you for the call.
PHIL: Yeah, yeah, okay. Thanks, Luke.
LUKE: All right. Good luck to you and your brother and your husband or whatever. Hope everything works out there. Looks like next up we've got Lori. Welcome to the show. How are you doing tonight?
LORI: Oh, man, I'm not great, Luke. I've been sitting in my truck at a flying J for 20 minutes trying to figure out if I'm about to blow up my whole life here.
LUKE: Why are you thinking about blowing up your life?
LORI: So my 14-year-old daughter's been playing me and her dad against each other for God knows how long. Telling him, she's at my place on weekends. Telling me she's with him. And actually, she's been out in the desert somewhere with friends doing who the hell knows what. He just called me back about it 20 minutes ago. And here's the thing. I'm hauling refrigerated goods. I'm six days into this route. I've got a load that needs to be in Tucson by tomorrow morning. But I'm four hours from home right now. And I know, I know I need to turn this rig around and deal with this.
LUKE: Well, think this one through. What happens if you do turn the rig around? What are you going to do when you get there? How are you going to deal with it?
LORI: That's the problem, Luke. I don't know. I mean, what am I going to do? Ground her. She's already been sneaking out for weeks, maybe months, show up and yell at her. That's just going to make her better at lying. Her dad and I, we can barely have a conversation without it turning into whose fault everything is.
LUKE: All right? Well, it sounds like that makes your decision, right? If there's no action for you to take if you were to go back, then don't go back. You've got work to do. You've got to take care of your responsibilities to your job too. And then you can deal with this when you're get back. Kids do do this. Kids go out and party in the woods and play their parents off each other. It's a very normal thing for a teenage kid to do. It's not that, not that life-shattering.
LORI: Yeah, but okay, you're right. It's normal, but Luke, she's 14. And I don't even know where she's going or who she's with. Her dad won't tell me the names of these friends because apparently she made him promised not to.
LUKE: Well, it doesn't sound like it really matters what their names are, right? She's out doing her thing. I don't see a problem here. Do your job. Talk to your family when you get home. And if you don't want her out partying at 14 out in the desert, then maybe think about a different profession where you can be around to be involved in her life more than being on the road for six days at a time, you know?
LORI: Wow. Okay. Yeah, no. You're that's exactly what my ex said when I took this job. that I was choosing the road over her.
LUKE: And here's the thing that pisses me off about that. I took this job because of the divorce.
LORI: Hey, I'm not trying to ideologically say that it's right or wrong for you to have taken the job. I don't care. I'm just saying if you're a long-haul trucker and you're gone for weeks at a time, then you're not particularly invested in your teenage daughter's life. And you're only going to show up once in a while to scold her for doing something wrong and acting out direction or guidance from our parent in her life. And that's not unusual. I'm not saying it's even wrong. I mean, you want her to be safe and you want to do this job and both those things can happen, but you need to sit down with her and talk to her about safety, make sure that she's letting you know what's going on because you care. If you do care, if not, then you just want to be controlling and punish her for doing, you know, stuff behind your back, which is, I don't think that's fair.
LUKE: No, you're right. I, God, I do care. I care so much it's making me sick right now sitting here. And you know what the worst part is? My dispatcher, Karen, has been so good to me since the divorce. She worked out this schedule where I could do shorter halls, be home more often, and I still manage to screw it up.
LORI: I don't know if you screwed it up or not, but the fact remains, you're away from home a lot. your daughter's home, and she's out doing stuff. You know, if you're not going to be around, she's going to live her life. And that might not be in a way that you appreciate. But you're making that choice, and it could be the right choice or the wrong choice for you. But you've got to decide. You can't have it both ways.
LUKE: You're absolutely right. I can't. And sitting here trying to figure out if I blow this contract and turn around or keep going, I'm just avoiding the real decision. aren't I? The thing is, Luke, when I lost the house and the divorce, when everything fell apart, this job felt like the one thing I could actually control.
LORI: Well, maybe it is. Maybe the job's a great thing for you and your family and it's providing for you, but you have to then give your daughter the grace to be her own person early because you're not there to give her that traditional upbringing that she otherwise would have got. It doesn't mean she's going to turn into a mom. her in adulthood. She's just going to have a different road. And that can be okay, but you should talk about it.
LUKE: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I need to actually talk to her, not at her.
LORI: That's right. And it sounds like you've got a job to do. So get back on the road, finish out your obligation. And when you get back, sit her down and have a conversation that's not accusatory and you're not mad at her or punishing her, but talk to her. And let her, know what's going on in your life, why you've made the decisions that you've made, and what you expect out of her, and come to a compromise, an agreement. Talk to her like she's an adult, because at this point, she kind of is.
LUKE: She kind of is. God, that's terrifying. All right. All right. I'm going to finish the route. I'm going to get home Tuesday. And I'm going to sit down with her. Not with her dad there. Not making it this big intervention thing. Just me and her.
LORI: it sounds like a good plan.
LUKE: I hope it all works out. But, you know, I was in a similar situation as a teenager. I was your daughter in this scenario. And I was out with people I shouldn't have been with doing things I shouldn't have done. And there's lots of reasons for that. But it's not because my parents didn't love me. It's not because I was a piece of shit. It's, we're not going to get into it all right now. But over the course of the show, we'll probably learn a little bit more about that. For now, though, we have to go to our sponsor. So please stay tuned for a word from our sponsors. Life is hard. You're listening to a man in an RV talk to strangers at 2 in the morning, so you already know that. That's why we partnered with Better Maybe. Online therapy that's honest about the whole situation. With Better Maybe, you get matched with a licensed therapist within 48 hours. Will they fix your problems? Maybe. That's the whole brand. They're not going to lie to you. Your first session might change your life. It also might just be you staring at the webcam while someone in another time zone nods politely. That's still more than your friends are doing. Better maybe. It's better than nothing. And that's not nothing. Okay. Better maybe. Give them a call. Maybe they can help some of our callers. That's why I'm not. they reached out to us so they could get their product to you. Okay, Roland, Roland, welcome to the show. What's going on tonight, sir?
ROLAND: Oh, man. So I've been working from home for UPS for four years now, routing, logistics, all that. And Friday, they dropped the email, back to the Albuquerque office by March 1st, or I'm out. Three hours of driving every day, Luke, six hours round trip. And the thing is, I finally got my life set up exactly how I wanted it.
LUKE: Well, it sounds like maybe you've got to let that job go then. I mean, a six-hour round-trip commute to work for UPS doesn't sound reasonable to me.
ROLAND: Yeah, but it's 16 years total with the company, you know? The benefits, the retirement, are not starting over at 43, and the pay's solid. But, man, I finally set up my grandfather's old workbench in the garage, been restoring furniture at night, and I'm actually at it. My neighbor Gary caught me sanding at midnight Friday with every light on. asked what was eating me, and I couldn't even explain it to him.
LUKE: Yeah, well, the pay may be solid, but now subtract six hours of commuting expenses and mileage on your vehicle. Retirement doesn't just start over if you go to another company. Like, I assume you've got an IRA or a 401K type situation with them. That's going to roll over into your next position. It's not like you forfeit it. You might forfeit whatever pension it is you got, but you got, what, 45 years more to work? Come on, man. You can't just deal with that for another 40 years because you're holding onto a pension. That's silly. If you've got to let it go, you've got to let it go.
ROLAND: No, you're right. You're right. I know you're right. It's just, okay. So here's the real thing. I spent the first 12 years on the road, delivering packages, breaking my back in the heat. When they finally moved me to remote work during COVID, it felt like I'd made it, you know?
LUKE: I do know. I remember back when I demanded to work remote, I would not go into an office anymore. And everybody told me that was a mistake and that you can't do that. This was pre-COVID. And I said, I can do whatever I want. You know, I'm going to do what I'm going to do. And I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. And I don't want to go into an office, so I'm not going to do it. And then I never went back into an office again. You can absolutely do that. There's plenty of ways to make money. You don't have to work for UPS. You can start your own company. You can start your own company. find another job that offers you remote work. You can, I don't know, play the stock market. There's plenty of ways that people make money without going in an office. And if you really don't want to go into an office, don't.
ROLAND: You know what? You're making it sound simpler than it feels, but okay, I've been reading about these CEOs running remote first companies. No plans to bring people back. And I keep thinking, why can't UPS figure this out? I've been more productive at home, six new hires over Zoom last year, never missed a deadline. But I think what's really getting me is,
LUKE: Well, before you get to that, I think a lot of companies and a lot of research has proven that people are generally very productive at home, and in a lot of cases more so than an office.
TERRY: Oh, man, Luke. So my best friend since third grade just told me she's been sleeping with my ex-husband since literally the week our divorce was finalized. Like, Michelle was at my wedding. She helped me move my stuff out of the house six months ago. she's been with David this whole time. And when I got upset about it tonight, because, yeah, I'm upset, she hit me with, it's been six months, you should be over it. Like I'm being dramatic for caring that she's been lying to my face for half a year while I'm crying to her about the divorce.
LUKE: Yeah, that's messed up. I think she's not your friend, and it's time to let go of that relationship.
TERRY: I mean, yeah, you're right. I know you're right. But Luke, 30 years. 30 years. We learned to drive together. We got matching tattoos when we turned 20. One, stupid little stars on our ankles. Her mom was like my second mom growing up. And it's not even just about David, you know?
LUKE: No, I don't know, but the whole David thing tells me that this chick needs to go. She doesn't care about you. Whether you've known her for 30 years or 300 years, Fuck this chick.
TERRY: You're not wrong. God, you're not wrong. It's just... Okay, so here's the thing that's really messing with me. I'm sitting here in my uncle's laundromat, at 11 o'clock on a Sunday night, with a warm beer, and I'm realizing I'm more hurt about Michelle than I ever was about David. Like the divorce sucked, but I saw that coming for a while, you know? We've been going through the motions for like two years.
LUKE: Yeah, that's a hard thing. I understand. And, you know, you've got that much history with somebody. It sucks to lose it, but it's, uh, it sounds like it's not you that has made this decision. And this person isn't somebody that's got your back that you can trust. So if you thought you had a great friend, maybe you did it once, but people change. And it sounds like she changed. And maybe some day she'll change again. But for now, let that chick go. She sucks.
TERRY: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She does suck. You know what the worst part is? I called her first when I found out David was seeing someone. Like two weeks ago, I saw his truck at the Applebee's with some woman, and I was all worked up about it, called Michelle literally crying in the parking lot. And she was like, oh, honey, you got to let him go. He's moved on. The whole time knowing it was her. That's that sociopath behavior, right?
LUKE: It sure is. And it's not what you would expect about a friend of 30 years. So my advice to you is just stop talking to that chick. Let her go. Let her have the dude. And, uh, move on with your life.
TERRY: You're right. I know you're right. It's just, God. It's pathetic, but I'm sitting here thinking about who I'm going to call now when stuff goes wrong. You know, like she was that person.
LUKE: Well, it sounds like you're going to call Luke at the Roost, the, uh, call in radio show where we help you out with your real world problems.
TERRY: Ha. Yeah. Well, you're doing better than she did tonight. That's for sure. I just... Okay. Real talk, though. Am I crazy for still being hurt about David?
LUKE: No, you're not crazy.
LUKE: You're hurt when you're hurt, and you've got good reason to be hurt here, and you've got some grief going on, and it's big life changes, and there's lots of reasons to be hurt. But you don't have to continue to stay that way. If you don't want to, you can decide to not be hurt and move on. And I think that's what you need to. to do. It's easier said than done, but it can be done. So just every day, wake up and be grateful to be here and say, hey, you know, I don't have the life that I had yesterday, but I've got the life that I have today, and it can still be pretty fucking cool.
TERRY: You know what? You're right. And honestly, and this is going to sound terrible. But I think I've been more hung up on the idea of David than actual David for a while now. Like we got married at 23, Luke. 23.
LUKE: Yep, that happens. That is young, and it explains a lot. So, um, you know, I wish you the best of luck. We're going to move on on the show now, unless you have some other point to bring up. I'll give you one more chance to respond. But otherwise, I'm going to say, uh, let go with the chick, let go to the dude, move on with your life, and everything's going to be fine.
TERRY: No, you're good. I appreciate you letting me vent. And hey, I heard Roland, earlier? The UPS guy?
LUKE: Yeah, what about him?
TERRY: You got a job for Roland? No, but his wife definitely sucks too. That whole thing about her wanting him out of the house? Come on. That man needs to check the credit card statements.
LUKE: That is absolutely true. I didn't want to say that to him at the time, but he absolutely should check the credit card statements. And maybe the little internal camera that he's got in the fucking teddy bear And now, now folks, you know what? Actually, she's already gone, but Terry, that was the smartest thing you sent that whole call. All right. Now it's time for a word from our sponsors. I'm not saying that for sympathy. I'm saying it because Pillow Forever asked me to establish a before state, and that's mine. Pillow Forever is a memory foam pillow that remembers your head shapes so you don't have to. It's got cooling gel, bamboo fiber, and a 30-night risk-free trial, which means you can sleep on it for a month and then send it back, and someone in a warehouse has to deal with that. Every pillow forever comes to. in a box that's too small, which is part of the experience. You open it and it slowly expands like a major documentary. My dog tried to fight it. Pillow Forever. You deserve better than a horse blanket. Okay, thanks to Pillow Forever. They are a proud sponsor of the Luke at the Roo Show, and we appreciate them. Now let's get to, uh, let's get back to the phones. Chester, Chester, welcome to the show. What's on your mind, sir?
CHESTER: Luke, hey, so I almost killed my kid this morning. Not on purpose, I mean. I didn't. I showed up to get her from her ex-wife's place, custody Sunday, and the second I rolled down the window, I could smell the whiskey coming off me. Hands still shaking. I'd been drinking until like four in the morning, and it was eight o'clock. And I'm sitting there with the engine running, thinking, well, I'm sitting there with the engine running, thinking, well, What the hell am I doing? She's seven. Her name's Daisy.
LUKE: Oh man, yeah. You can't, you can't do that, man. If you've got a drinking problem, then you're going to have to take, you're going to have to take care of that because you could kill your kid and or you could kill someone else's kid and it's really not okay. It's, it's irresponsible and it's not good for anybody.
CHESTER: No, you're right. You're absolutely right. I didn't drive. I mean, I sat there for maybe 30 seconds. And then I shut the truck off and I called her mom and told her I was sick, food poisoning or something, which is bullshit. She probably knew.
LUKE: How long have you known you've had a problem with the drinking?
CHESTER: I mean, that's the thing, Luke. I don't drink every day. I work at Desert Star Pond, been there six years. I show up on time. I do my job. It's just when I get home and Daisy's not there. When it's those empty nights, I'll start with one beer. And then it's three I'm watching Civil War documentaries with a bottle of Jim Beam. And I can tell you the exact date of Antietam, but I can't tell you when it got like this.
LUKE: Well, are you, uh, are you tired of it yet? Or it sounds like maybe this is a moment of clarity where you're recognizing the situation and, and thinking about taking accountability for it. Is that true?
CHESTER: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think. I mean, my dad, Big Jim, he ran cattle for years. Never missed a day. Never touched the stuff.
LUKE: Well, you know, they have support group meetings. It can help you out in these situations. You can go to after work. Lots of cool people there that are trying to live sober, not pick up the drink and end up in situations like you're finding yourself in now. It is possible. You don't have to get drunk by yourself at night watching Civil War documentaries. You can just watch the Civil War documentary without they're getting drunk bit. then when you get up in the morning and pick up your kid, you're not going to be drunk.
CHESTER: I know. You're right. It's just, the house is so damn quiet, you know? And I keep thinking about what kind of example I'm setting.
LUKE: Well, it's good that you figure it out now when you're at a spot where you can still do something about it. And what I recommend is when you get home, next time you get home, do something else. Instead of cracking that beer, just do anything else. You can play a video game or you could, uh, go for a walk or you could read or play on the internet, whatever it is, just break that habit of having that first beer. Because if you don't pick up the first one, you're not going to end up drunk. Isn't it funny how that works? If you don't pick up the first one, you're not going to end up drunk.
CHESTER: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I heard Lori earlier, the trucker lady with the daughter sneaking out, and I kept thinking at least she's got a reason she's not around, you know?
LUKE: No, what do you mean by that?
CHESTER: I mean, she's working. She's on the road providing for her kid. Me, I'm just, I'm home and Daisy's at her moms. And I'm choosing to sit there with a bottle instead of, I don't know, calling her reading her a bedtime story over the phone. Something.
LUKE: Well, yeah. And, uh, you know, sometimes you just have to say that to a radio host at midnight to, uh, to hear yourself say it. So hopefully you can snap out of your, uh, your, your situation. Don't pick up the beer next time. And instead, call your daughter and read her a story.
CHESTER: You're right. I actually. I got this book about Gettysburg I was going to show her. She's been asking about it because we drove through Pennsylvania last summer. And she saw the signs. Smart kid. Smarter than me, that's for sure.
LUKE: Well, you sound pretty smart today. You know you get a problem and you're going to do stuff to take care of it. So if you need help, then I recommend that you find your your local neighborhood at AA or NA meetings, depending on what type of situation you're dealing with. And just go check it out. And have an open mind and maybe you find a new way of life. Okay, Dolores. Delores, welcome to the radio show. How can we help?
DELORES: Hey, Luke. Yeah. So, okay. I got recognized today at an open house and I kind of panicked. And now sitting in a circle K parking lot feeling like a complete idiot.
LUKE: Well, all of us get recognized several times a day. So why is it, what is it about this particular recognition that's got you up in arms?
DELORES: Because I've been going to open houses every weekend for like eight months and I'm not actually buying anything. This realtor, Patricia, she remembered me from a showing last spring, and she just asked me you actually planning to buy a house and I froze. I told her my financing fell through, but that's not even true because I've never applied for a loan in the first place.
LUKE: Okay. Next up on the radio show, we have Marvin. Marvin, thanks for calling in. What's happening tonight?
MARVIN: Hey, Luke. Yeah, thanks for taking the call. So I got home for my shift tonight and there's this cardboard box sitting on my porch. No note, nothing. And it's full of stuff from my dad's house. Stuff I haven't seen since he died 11 years ago. His Bolo tie. This pocket knife I thought I lost senior year. Photos of my uncle's old place.
LUKE: What's a Bolo tie?
MARVIN: Oh, it's that Western Thai thing. You know, the braided leather cord with the silver clasp that slides up and down. My dad wore one to every wedding, every funeral, every time he needed to look respectable. His had this. This turquoise stone in the middle, real heavy.
LUKE: Okay, well, that's cool. Somebody dropped off some of your dead dad's belongings, and what are they bringing up inside? They bring it up memories? Is this got you upset? Are you concerned? Like, what's, what feeling is this bringing up inside of you?
MARVIN: I mean, yeah, memories. But more than that, I'm sitting here like, who the hell had this stuff? my dad's been gone 11 years. Where has this box been? And why now? Why tonight? What's in the box? Why no explanation? Like, someone just decided, oh, time for Marvin to deal with this and left it there like a package from Amazon. And honestly, I opened it and just...
LUKE: All right. Well, congratulations for, uh, the... safe return of your dad's belongings. I hope that you wear them in good health. Next on the radio show, oh, before, no, oh, Luke, you almost, come on, come on, I'm fucking amateur here. It is time for a word from our sponsors. Look, I'm not a financial advisor. I'm a guy with a microphone and a dog. But the folks at Crypto know asked me to tell you about their new decentralized investment platform, and I to read this part. Past performance does not guarantee future results. This is not financial advice. And if you invest your rent money, you deserve exactly what happens next. Crypto No lets you trade over 400 digital currencies, including three that were invented this morning, and one that's just a picture of my dog. The app features a real-time portfolio tracker with a built-in panic button that just plays ocean sounds when your balance drops. Crypto No! Fortune favors the bold, but it does not return their calls. Okay, thanks to Crypto No for sponsoring the show today. I think we're probably running a little bit late. These have been some decent calls. They're going a little long. So I'm just going to take one more for tonight's show. And next up to the line, we have Francine. Francine, you're going to be our last caller of the night.
LUKE: What's on your mind?
CALLER: Luke, I just had a deer on the 11, and it's still alive, and I don't know what the hell I'm playing. supposed to do about it. I've been sitting here with my hazards on for like 20 minutes. Just, it's looking at me. When if its legs is completely shattered, it's on the shoulder. And I can't tell if I'm supposed to call someone, or if I'm supposed to, I don't know, put it out of its misery myself? Which I don't even know how I do that. I'm a nurse. I work on people, not my ex would have known. He grew up out here, hunted with his dad. He would have just handled it.
LUKE: Yeah, that sounds like a. less than ideal situation. I would call the police first, call 911, and let them know that there's been an accident and there's an animal, I assume, still in the road. If you have a gun, then I think you know what you have to do. If you don't have a gun, I would probably refrain from doing anything hasty with like a tire iron or a rock.
CALLER: No, I don't have a gun. It's off the road. It's on the shoulder. So nobody's going to hit it. I just, I'll call. I didn't know if this was even a 911 thing or if there was like animal control or something, but out here at midnight on a Sunday, I guess there's not exactly a whole directory of options. The stupid thing is, I've been driving the same loop between Deming and Los Cruces for six months now. Three different clinics, and this is the first time I've hit anything.
LUKE: Well, you know what I always say? 911 was an inside job. So I don't actually know who you're supposed to call in this situation. I would call 911 and ask the them and they'll let you know or send out animal control or whoever comes out of the sheriff's office. Who knows out here especially? But, you know, it happens. There's wild animals out here. They run in the road. Sometimes we hit them. It's probably not your fault unless you were playing with your phone, and in which case it was your fault. And just do the best you can do. It's unfortunate that the animal's suffering right now, but if you don't have a way to humanely end it, then you got to just get somebody out there as soon. as you can.
CALLER: I wasn't on my phone. I was just tired. Just came off a double. Wasn't paying attention like I should have been. You're right, though. I'll call.
LUKE: All right. Well, get off the line with me and get on the line with 911. And that is the conclusion of our show for tonight. Thanks everybody for tuning in, and we'll talk to you again tomorrow. Thank you.