LUKE: All right, welcome back to the show. This is Luke at the Roost. It's the radio show where we take collars and give real-world advice. If you'd like to call in the number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luke. We're gonna go to the phones, but before we do, we have a new website. It's Luke at theRoost.com. If you'd like to learn how this show works, go over there and hit the How It Works button. There's a nice little right up for you over there. All right. On the phones now, we have Keith. Keith, tell me what you'd think about Terence Howard's Tree of Life theory.

KEITH: Oh man. Terence Howard's Tree of Life thing sounds like one of those Hollywood fever dreams to me. Guys, an actor, not a mathematician, and all that talk about sacred geometry and one times one equals two. Just makes my head spin like I've been out in the sun too long. For real though, I stick to what I know. Like balancing checkbooks at the bank or watching the stars come out over the Pellan Silos. None of that cosmic puzzle nonsense. What got you asking about it, Luke?

LUKE: Yeah, I was just thinking about the little clip I saw of Terence Howard and Neil DeGrasse Tyson or Terence Center's theories to Neil to review and Neil kind of bashed him a little bit and he got all butthurt. I thought it was funny.

KEITH: Yeah, that clip cracked me up too. Terence acting all wounded like a kid who got his science fair project ripped apart while Neil's just dropping facts like it's no big deal. For real though, it's like when some customer at the bank starts explaining why the economy's all wrong based on a YouTube rabbit hole, entertaining, but you got to stick to the numbers that add up.

LUKE: Well the economy is all wrong and I think that the numbers do add up to the fact that we're spending way more money than we have and devaluing our own currency to make up for it. What do you have to say about that, Mr. Bankerman?

KEITH: Oh yeah, you're preaching to the choir on that one, Luke. I've seen folks come through the Teller line with their savings shrinking faster than a desert dry spell all because Washington's printing money like it's confetti. For real though, down here in Grant County with the mining jobs drying up and folks scraping by on fixed incomes, it hits harder than in the big cities. We're talking real families not making ends meet. What's your take on how we fix it? Or is it just a lost cause?

LUKE: How we fix the economy, I think we need to have an independent fed or get rid of the fed. I like to run Paul's suggestion to get rid of the fed entirely and let markets control the value of money. That makes a lot of sense to me.

KEITH: Yeah, Ron Paul's been hollering about ditching the fed for years and I get the appeal. Letting markets run the show without some suit and DC pulling the strings sounds cleaner than this mess we've got now. But as a Teller who's watched accounts tank when inflation spikes, I'm not sure going full free market on money wouldn't just trade one headache for a bigger one. Like back in the old days, when bank runs wiped out whole towns around here. For real though, what do you think it do to places like Silver City, where we're already hanging on by a thread with the copper prices?

LUKE: It may help, it may hurt, I don't really know. But what it would do is promote additional business and give other people a chance at some of the pie. Have some innovative ideas come in, have additional industries, set up shop out here where there's the land to do it and tax incentives and all that. But the fed just printing out money whenever they need to pay the bills that they've racked up. It hurts us all, not just here in the desert but everywhere in the country and in the world it makes our standing worse and worse.

KEITH: Yeah, you're right on the money about the fed, just firing up the presses to cover their tab. It devalues everything from a rancher's cattle to a miner's paycheck and it's got the whole world's eye-ness like where the weak link in the chain. Down here with all that open land in the heela and tax breaks. If the state plays ball, I could see new outfits setting up shop. Maybe solar farms or tech that doesn't suck the water dry like the old copper ops did.

LUKE: Maybe, I don't think that you and I are going to fix the US economy here on this call but it's interesting to hear you take. Monique, welcome to the show. What do you think about Terrence Howard and his theory of the tree of life?

MONIQUE: Oh man, I caught a bit of that earlier with Keith going on about Terrence Howard. It's kind of wild how he gets all emotional over it. But honestly, Neil deGrasse Tyson breaking it down makes sense to me. I'm into science stuff like battery tech and all. And that tree of life theory just feels more like philosophy than real physics, you know?

LUKE: Terrence Howard is an actor. He's decent at talking. He doesn't sound like a complete moron but it's funny to see Tyson shut him down. But what if we're all wrong and it's not a crazy whack theory? What if we learn 10 years down the line that he was right and one times one does equal to?

MONIQUE: Haha, yeah. It's always fun to play that what if game? Who knows? Maybe in 10 years we'll all be calculating math with one x1 equals sign 2 and my EV battery research will look like child's play. But honestly, Tyson's got the facts on his side for now. I mean, I'm knee deep in energy transition stuff at work. And theories like Howard's feel more like a cool story than something you'd bet your truck on. Speaking of which, I almost hung up calling in tonight because my signals crap out here. One bar and it's flickering, but I had to share this thing that's been eating at me.

LUKE: Okay, then what's been eating at you? How can we help you, Monique?

MONIQUE: Oh, thanks for asking. I've been staring at this unanswered text for my husband, all evening. You know, the kind that just hangs there like a bad omen. And I finally picked up the phone because I needed to get it out. We're separated right now, living apart, but haven't pulled the trigger on filing yet, and it's all because of the kids. I'm staying for them, but man, it's killing me inside. Like I'm just going through the motions in this frozen desert winter.

LUKE: Yeah, it's unfortunate, but if you know in your heart it's time to move on, then it's probably time to move on. And the faster you do it, the faster everybody can heal from it.

MONIQUE: Yeah, I hear you on that. It does feel like ripping off the band-aid might let everyone breathe again, especially me. Because right now it's like I'm stuck in this limbo, driving my RAM 2500 to work every day, pretending everything's fine for the kids' sake. But the kids? They're the only reason I haven't filed yet, and worrying about how it'll hit them keeps me up at night, you know? My friend Tammy from church is the only one who's in on the whole mess, and even she says I deserve better. But damn, it's scary to actually do it.

LUKE: Well, you know what, Monique? You don't deserve anything. None of us deserve a god damn thing in this life, and if you think that you deserve something, then you're going to be sorely disappointed when you don't get what you think you should have had. Whether or not you should stay in your marriage that's up to you, but don't leave your marriage because you think you deserve better. You don't. You don't deserve anything.

MONIQUE: Oh wow, that's a tough pill to swallow, but yeah, you're right. Expecting to deserve better just sets you up for more hurt. And I've been doing that dance in my head for months now. It's not about deserving. It's about surviving this limbo without completely losing myself, especially with the kids watching every move I make. My mom Lorraine's getting up there too. And I worry what this fallout will do to her heart if I finally file hell. I even relocated a rattlesnake off the porch earlier today just to keep things steady around here.

LUKE: Well, be careful with those rattlesnakes and don't worry too much about how your mom feels about your divorce because it's your life.

CALLER: The kids, they will figure it out, you know, they're not the first kids to have their parents divorced. It happens. It affects everybody, but they move on and it helps shape who they become. If if you're staying in a marriage and not happy in, then the kids know that too. And either way you're doing damage. So you might as well do the least damage, cut it all off, set everybody free, and move on with your life.

LUKE: Yeah, you're spot on about the kids. They pick up on the tension anyway like little radars.

CALLER: And I've seen it in my work as a social worker how pretending just builds this quiet resentment over time. Cutting it off sounds freeing, but that text I was staring at it's him saying he's sorry for the fight last week and part of me wants to reply just to end the silence. But the other part knows it'll drag me right back into the mess. I guess what I needed was someone to say it's okay to let go, you know.

LUKE: It's okay to let go and it's okay to reply to a text. None of that has any significant bearing on the future of your life. But if you're with somebody you don't want to be with, then you're doing yourself and then into service and it's time to have some hard conversations and get the ball rolling.

CALLER: Yeah, replying to that text might just be the spark for the hard talk we need. I've been avoiding it like that frost on my truck in the morning. But you're right. Dragging it out is the real disservice to both of us and the kids. My signals cutting in and out again here. But damn, this feels good to say out loud. Maybe I'll hit send after the show and see where it goes. Thanks for listening. First time calling in and I didn't expect to feel this.

LUKE: All right, great. I'm glad you had a good first experience calling the show. Good luck to you and your family and I hope that all works out and don't stick along, don't stick around longer than you're welcome. Ray, welcome to the show. Ray, what do you think about Terrence Howard?

RAY: Oh, man, Terrence Howard. That guy's got some wild ideas with his tree of life stuff. Saw that clip when Neil DeGrasse Tyson shut it down and I'm sitting there thinking, yeah, science doesn't bend for Hollywood theories. But honestly, Ray here from San Simon. I called in because my buddy dared me after feeding the dog tonight and now I've got this call from my sister saying my old man's dying in New Mexico. Haven't spoken to him in like 15 years. It's got me all twisted up, blaming him for bailing when I was a kid, you know.

LUKE: Yeah, sometimes dad's bail. Do you know why he bailed? Did he have a good reason for it? Do you know what was going on in his life at the time or have you ever thought of it from that perspective?

RAY: Yeah, bail. That's putting it lightly. He just up and left when I was 12. No note, no call, nothing. Left my mom to scrape by on her own in this dust bowl town. Well, he chased whatever pipe dream he had over in New Mexico. I figure he was just selfish. Probably some a fair or gambling mess, but who knows. I never got the full story because he ghosted us all. And I'm not about to start digging now with him on his deathbed.

LUKE: Well, that's your choice and you can carry that resentment as long as you want, but you might not be correct about that. He may have had his reasons, and now would be your final opportunity to figure out what they may have been.

RAY: Yeah, well, easy for you to say. I've been carrying this around like a ton of bricks for decades, and now you think I should just pick up the phone like it's no big deal. But damn, you're right. It might be my last shot, and part of me wonders if I pushed him away too, yelling at him back then instead of listening. You know, like the stubborn kid I was. Hell, with the show being late night and all, maybe I'll stew on it while scraping frost off my ram in the morning.

LUKE: Yeah, well, you know, I wouldn't think that it was your fault. It's really never the kid's fault if a parent, you know, does something. You can't take responsibility for that on yourself, but that doesn't mean he didn't have a reason. I'm sure that he did, and the guy's going to die. So, I mean, what's the harm in figuring out what that reason is now while you still have a chance. If you wait much longer, you might not get the chance, and then you'll have to carry the resentment for the rest of your life. And it's just it's better for you to get it out in the open and have it resolved.

RAY: Yeah, I hear you. It's not on the kid. Never was. And I've told myself that a thousand times while preaching to the youth group about forgiveness. But damn, if it doesn't still feel like I could have done something different back then. You're right, though. With him on his last legs, what's the harm in calling to hash it out? Even if it means admitting I was part of the mess, like how I shut down every attempt he made to reach out after he left.

LUKE: Sounds like you've got to talk that you need to have with your dying father, and that might be a difficult conversation to have, but you're obviously an adult, and you can make hard decisions and have difficult talks. So, talk to your dad, figure out why he left, and maybe move on without carrying that burden forever.

RAY: Yeah, I know you're pushing me toward that call. And hell, as a pastor, I tell folks all the time to face their demons. But this one's got me staring at the phone like it's a rattlesnake. It's funny, though. I'm separated from my wife right now, living in the same damn town, but worlds apart, and I keep thinking how I avoided the hard talks there, too. Blaming her for everything while ignoring my own screw ups. Maybe this is the universe's way of making me practice what I preach before Frost hits the truck tomorrow.

LUKE: Hey, well, hope it all works out for you, and hope there's no frost on the truck tomorrow because I don't want any on mine. Deb, welcome to the show. Deb, what do you know about Terence Howard and his theory of the tree of life?

DEB: Hey, Luke, thanks for having me on. Feels a bit weird calling in like this. But all right, Terence Howard's tree of life thing, from what I've caught in clips, it's him talking about some geometric patterns, tying into everything from math to the universe, like sacred geometry on steroids. But it sounds more like wild speculation than solid science. Kind of reminds me of those late night infomercials that promise the world.

LUKE: What do you think would be the implication to society if we learned that Terence Howard was correct?

DEB: Oh man, if Terence Howard turned out to be right about that tree of life stuff, it probably flipped science on its head. Textbooks rewritten, religions debating if it's divine proof, and tech companies racing to patent flower of life gadgets. But honestly, it did just prove how much we still don't know, which is kind of humbling. So yeah, that got me thinking about real game changers like fusion energy. I saw this article the other day about the US needing a national strategy before we lose our edge. And at 40, I'm wondering if we'll actually see it in our lifetime, or if it's just more hype. What do you think, Luke? Practical breakthrough or pipe dream?

LUKE: I think it could definitely be a practical breakthrough if we would allow it. But we're not going to allow it because what we want to allow is coal and fossil fuels. And we want to keep the machines that are running, running the way that they're running without any significant change to standard operating procedure. I don't think that's right. I think it's kind of sad and it's holding us back in lots of ways, but that's the deal. But have you seen Elon is trying to build a data center on satellites orbiting up with the Starlinks?

DEB: Yeah, it's frustrating as hell how we're stuck on coal and oil just to keep the old machines humming. Feels like we're sabotaging our own future, especially after hearing Keith earlier rant about the Fed printing money and killing innovation. Spot on. That ties right into why we can't pivot to stuff like fusion without shaking up the economy.

LUKE: We don't know that fusion would work. It seems like it would. It seems powerful enough to power the entire universe. But we don't know what the negatives of that would be or I don't know. I mean, what are the potential negative consequences of running fusion energy? What if there's an accident? Would we have a Fukushima situation?

CALLER: Well, fair point, Luke. We're still figuring out the kinks, and yeah, it's not like we can just flip a switch without risks. But fusion's a whole different beast from fission. No chain reactions means no Chernobyl style meltdowns. And the waste is way less nasty, mostly short-lived stuff from the tritium fuel. The big worries seem to be containing the plasma without it fizzling out, or accidental releases of that hydrogen isotopes. But experts say it's inherently safer than what we've got now. No Fukushima nightmares since it shuts down if things go wrong.

LUKE: Well, what are those experts funded by? Like, what's their perspective? Is it in their interest for this to go forward and is the reduction of the risks marketing hype, or is that the truth?

CALLER: Well, here's the thing, Luke. Most of those experts are funded by outfits like the Department of Energy, international projects like eater, or startups chasing venture capital, not the oil barons who'd rather keep us hooked on fossils. So yeah, their perspective is all about clean, limitless power to solve climate messes and energy crunches. It's definitely in their interest to push fusion forward, since that's their careers in the planet's future on the line, and the risk reduction isn't just hype. It's straight physics. Without constant magnetic confinement, the reaction stops cold. No runaway disasters like with fission.

LUKE: Well, that's maybe an interesting solution, and I'm sure when we've dug all the coal out of the ground and fracked every last little bit of oil that we can, we'll probably turn to something like that. But until that happens, if there's still rocks in the ground that we can assign a value to, we're going to continue doing that.

CALLER: Yeah, Luke, you're probably right that as long as there's profit in those rocks, we'll keep clawing them out. It's all about the bottom line until the planet bites us in the ass with worse floods and fires. But waiting till the coal's gone means we're screwed on climate long before fusion saves the day. And that's why that article hit me hard. If we don't push a national strategy now, we'll hand the lead to China, or whoever's investing smarter.

LUKE: Well, you know, it doesn't really matter who comes up with the technology once it starts working for one country. The others will follow suit. So whether we lead China or China leads us at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter much to the planet. And now it is time for a word from our sponsor.

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Okay, and we're back. Dale, we've got Dale on the line. I'm thinking about Terrence Howard's crazy tree of life theory. What do you take of Terrence Howard and his scientific ambitions?

DALE: Hey Luke, thanks for taking my call. Signals have been spotty out here in Globe, but I'm hanging on. Terrence Howard's theory? Man, it's wild. Like he's trying to connect dots from ancient geometry to quantum stuff, but I got aside with the skeptics like Tyson. It sounds more like Hollywood flair than real science to me.

LUKE: What would make it sound more like real science to you if you agreed with the theory more?

DALE: Well, to sound like real science, it did need some solid experiments backing it up. Peer-reviewed papers, testable predictions that actually hold up in a lab, not just drawings and big ideas. If I agreed more, maybe if it tied into something proven like quantum entanglement or explained to mystery, we can't crack yet, but right now it feels too out there, like sci-fi pitching.

LUKE: How many science-backed experiment peer-reviewed papers have you read about quantum entanglement that makes you believe that it's true? I'm not saying it is or isn't true. I'm just asking, how have you done your due diligence to ensure that where you've read or been told is actual fact? And at what level do you start to believe something as opposed to being skeptical of it?

DALE: Fair point, Luke. I'm no physicist. Just a cop who's poked around some articles on sites like Scientific American or Surin's Reports. Maybe a half dozen summaries on entanglement over the years. Enough to see it's been tested in labs worldwide since the 80s with consistent results.

LUKE: My due diligence? Well, yeah, we're saying we don't believe Terence Howard's theory because there's no science-backed peer-reviewed published studies on it. But I have never read a peer-reviewed published study done entanglement either, yet I believe it to be true because I've read so many times that there have been those studies. I don't know if that's true or not.

DALE: Yeah, exactly. You're trusting the consensus from reliable sources, like how I do with entanglement. I haven't dug into the raw papers myself. But seeing it referenced in textbooks, NASA stuff, and even court cases about faster than light stuff makes it credible enough for me to buy in without being a full skeptic. It's the same reason Howard's ideas fall flat. No one's echoing them in those circles, just a lot of buzz from interviews and his own claims. But anyway, Luke, the real reason I called in tonight, the quiet out here in Blob got to me while I was scrubbing dishes, and I started thinking about this person close to me, who's still around, but man, not the same anymore, like I've lost him without the funeral.

LUKE: What happened? Who is this person in your life?

DALE: Oh, it's my uncle Hector. He raised me after my dad bailed when I was a kid, basically the only dad I ever knew. Tough old minor with stories about the copper pits that it'd keep you up at night. But a couple years back, he had this stroke that wiped out a chunk of who he was. Now he's in that assisted living spot over in Miami, Arizona, staring at the TV most days, doesn't even recognize me half the time. And it hits like grief every visit because the guy's still breathing, but the fire's gone. I keep telling myself it's bullshit to feel this way about someone alive. But damn, Luke, the quiet tonight just amplified it while I was elbow deep in suds.

LUKE: Yeah, and well, that's a heavy thing. Of course, you're going to feel grief if you've lost the part of somebody that was special to you, was meaningful, that raised you. It is a sort of death.

DALE: Yeah, exactly. A death without the closure, you know? I mean, Hector was the one who dragged me out to the Beshbagh-Gwa ruins as a kid, teaching me about the Apache history around here, making globe feel like this tough rooted place. And now it's like talking to a shadow. But hearing you say that out loud, Luke, makes it feel less like my own bullshit weighing me down.

LUKE: No, it's okay to feel the way you're feeling and to miss the man that you loved. I don't think that's weird at all, but he is still there in some parts, so hopefully you have an opportunity to spend what time is left with him. And I have heard of people becoming lucid towards the end of their life, so you might get one last chance to see the guy that you used to know.

DALE: I guess you can you can hope for that.

LUKE: Yeah, I try to get over to the assisted living place every couple weeks, even if it's just sitting there holding his hand while he dozes off. But it's tough not knowing if he's in there somewhere, hearing me ramble about the forests or the ham radio set up by building the garage. That hope for a lucid moment keeps me going, though.

KHAN: Last month, he mumbled something about the old mining days out of nowhere, and it was like a crack in the door, you know? Makes me wish I'd called this show sooner instead of letting the dishes in the desert quiet eat at me tonight.

LUKE: Hey, you can let the negative thoughts eat at you until you decide to stop, so you are the only one that has control of your mind and your thoughts, even though sometimes it doesn't feel that way. If you're thinking about stuff, you don't want to be thinking about anymore. You have the power to change your attention. And if if washing the dishes makes you think about stuff, you don't want to think about stop washing the dishes and read a book or draw a picture or do something creative. You can steer the ship. But if you don't, if you don't steer the ship, it's going to steer itself usually somewhere you don't.

KHAN: Yeah, you're right, Luke. I do have that control. It's just the quiet nights out here in Globe where the signal flickering like it is, make it easy to let the mind wander into those dark corners instead of flipping the switch to something better. I've got that ham radio rig in the garage that usually pulls me out of it, tuning into chatter from all over. But tonight the dishes just snuck up on me after that long drive back from Walmart and Deming.

LUKE: Well, I went to Walmart and Deming today too when I got some groceries and some stuff to fix my ceiling fan here that's been giving me a hard time. That's the project for tomorrow. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your night. I hope you can move your thoughts to a more positive place and best of luck to your to Hector out there. Hopefully he is having a decent life or is not suffering and I hope you get a chance to talk to him again.

KHAN: Yeah, small world with that Deming run, hope your ceiling fan cooperates tomorrow. Those things can be a real pain when they start wobbling. Thanks for the kind words on Hector, he's not in pain at least. And yeah, I'm holding out for that real talk some day. This calls already got me feeling a bit lighter, Luke, like I steered the ship just in time tonight. So appreciate you listening.

LUKE: We appreciate you, Khan. Thanks for calling in. And next up we have Carla Collar's return collar. Welcome back to the show, Carla. What would you like to talk about today? You got any thoughts on Terence Howard?

CARLA: Hey, Luke, good to hear your voice again. It's Carla, wired on this god awful instant coffee at 2 a.m. Terence Howard. Nah, I saw that clip with Neil deGrasse Tyson tearing into his tree of life stuff. And for real though, that's what kills me about these celebs science theories. They sound wild but fall apart without real data, like waiting on JWST to confirm exoplanets instead of just winging it.

LUKE: I'm pretty sure we have confirmed exoplanets, have we not?

CARLA: Yeah, every month or so it feels like Luke. JWST is dropping these gems on habitable zones out there and it just blows my mind how a spotting world that could actually support life. Not some half-baked theory, but hey, speaking of things that hit close to homes since I last called, I finally told my in-laws to back off for good, and man, it was a scene. But worth it, feels like I can breathe now without them breathing down my neck through my soon-to-be ex. That's what kills me though, reading about James Rand's own passing at 46 from that article the other day. Life's too short for all this family drama, you know.

LUKE: Oh yeah, that's Ziggy from the wire, right? He's uh, he played in Generation Kill. I liked that actor, and uh, I read about that too. He killed himself, right? And there was a big to-do.

CARLA: Yeah, Ziggy from the wire, loved that show, in Generation Kill 2, he had this raw energy that stuck with you. Suicide at 46 though. That's what kills me, Luke. All that talent gone like that, and the paper's making it this spectacle when it's just heartbreaking. For real though, hearing Ray call in earlier about his dying dad hit way too close, my own old man's been gone years now. But if something like that popped up with my estranged side, I'd be wrecked. Makes you think about cutting the toxic crap before it's too late, like I did with those in-laws.

LUKE: Well, nice job doing what you had to do and getting the in-laws out of your life, and I hope everything goes well with your separation, divorce situation, and that you can move on and live a happy and productive life.

CARLA: Thanks, Luke. That means a lot coming from you. Yeah, the divorce papers are in motion now, and without those in-laws puppeteering my ex, it's like the fog's finally lifting around here. For real though, that run's so news has me staring at the ceiling all night. Thinking how one wrong turn or unchecked stress can end it all so young, makes me want to crank up the truck tomorrow and just ride out to the desert for some clear head space, frost or no frost.

LUKE: Then I think that's what you should do. We have this incredible resource here in the desert, and it's better to not take it for granted. Go enjoy the desert and see what's happening out there. Jerome, thanks for calling the show. What do you think about Terrence Howard in his Tree of Life theory?

JEROME: Hey, Luke, good to hear your voice out here in the desert night. It's clear as a bell tonight, about 64 degrees, but dropping fast. Terrence Howard's Tree of Life thing? Yeah, have you heard about that, where he thinks that everything is created from these geometrical shapes that, if you lay them over each other, they make like a tree?

LUKE: Yeah, I caught a clip of that. Guys got some wild ideas, like he's reinventing math with flower shapes or whatever. Sounds more like something you'd see etched on a hippie van than actual science. But hey, if it gets folks thinking outside the box, who am I to knock it? Reminds me of these survival knots I tie out camping, simple patterns that hold everything together when shit hits the fan. Oh, I referred you wrong. He's not calling it the Tree of Life. It's the Flower of Life. Terrence Howard believes in the Flower of Life, and he thinks that mistakes have been made all throughout physics and science, which it's probably true, but he does sound like a bit of a nut job.

JEROME: Yeah, Flower of Life got it. My bad for mixing it up with some biblical stuff. You're right. Science has screwed the pooch plenty of times, but Howard comes off like he's one bad acid trip away from starting his own cult out in the desert. Anyway, Luke, I ain't calling to debate geometry. It's late Saturday, trucks gasped up at the station with the good signal, and I've been chewing on this nagging feeling that I've been towing the wrong line for the last 15 years.

LUKE: What line have you been towing? You're talking about your wife, I assume.

JEROME: Now, Luke, not my wife. I'm divorced a couple years now. Got a girlfriend, Amber, who's been keeping me sane. I meant towing, like my tow truck gig, been hauling cars outside Tucson for 15 years, and woke up one morning realizing it's all wrong, like I'm just going through the motions. Hell, even the desert air tonight while I was walking couldn't shake that itch to switch it out, but what the hell do I do at 40?

LUKE: 40's not that old. You could do literally anything you want. If you've got you got trucks, I assume you own them. You can sell those off and buy a gas station or you could travel the world or you could go take a job in another city or there's many avenues that you could go to at 40. I don't think you're locked into whatever career path you chose in your younger years.

JEROME: Yeah, Luke, that's easy for you to say from the studio.

LUKE: Me, I've got this tow truck that's seen more breakdowns than I have and selling it off sounds good on paper. But what about Amber? We've only been together a year and she's got roots here in Tucson with her job at the university. Hell, part of me wants to pack up and head back to those family drives to hatch for chilly season, like when I was a kid, but at 40, starting over feels like jumping off Segwara without a net. What's the first step without screwing everything up?

LUKE: I think if you want to maintain that relationship, if it's important to you, the first step would be to talk to her about it and see what she thinks. Because maybe she's looking for something different too and you two can go off and do van life or pick a different city where you've got different career options. There's so many opportunities, but it all starts with you just having that conversation.

CALLER: Yeah, Luke, you're probably right. Sitting her down over some pie from that old diner spot I miss would be the way to go. Though with the divorce still raw after two years, the thought of rocking the boat with Amber twists my gut. She's the steady one, you know? While I'm out here daydreaming about survival camping in Sewaro Park instead of towing wrecks. But hell, what if she shoots it down flat? Do I just bail on Tucson in the life we've built? Or is there a middle ground like you said with van life?

LUKE: Hey man, I don't know that all depends on you two. And how important this relationship is to you don't have to stay with this woman if you don't share the same life goals. And if you do share the same life goals and talk about what those are and do what you can to make them happen.

CALLER: Yeah, Luke, that hits home, Amber's important, but if we're not on the same page about ditching this tow truck rut for something like those camping trips I love, maybe it's time to face that.

LUKE: Hey, lots of people love camping, lots of women love camping. Have you gone camping with Amber?

CALLER: Yeah, Luke, fair point. Maybe I should just drag Amber out to Sewaro for a weekend under the stars and see if she bites on the whole survival vibe instead of me assuming she's glued to her desk job. It's been a clear night out here cold enough for frost on the truck come morning and hell after that walk earlier talking it out with her sounds less scary than calling into your show like some desperate fool. But what if she hates bugs and dirt? Do you think most folks actually stick with that outdoor lifelong term? Or is it just a phase?

LUKE: I think it doesn't matter. If it's a phase, then it's a phase and you still get to have that experience. And if it's not a phase and it's a lifestyle, then it's a lifestyle. So you know, whatever it is that you choose to do, you don't have to do it forever. And if you're passionate about camping and survival situations and your spouse or your partner is not, well, then that's something you got to navigate with them or decide to get another partner.

CALLER: Yeah, Luke, you're making it sound straightforward. Like if Amber's not into roughing it in the desert with me, we either hash it out or I cut loose. But after my divorce, the idea of starting over with someone new feels like trading one wreck for another. Still, that package I picked up at the post office today had some new camping gear in it and part of me's itching to test it out solo just to clear my head. You ever had to pick between a passion and a person? Or does the radio gig keep you from those messes?

LUKE: No, I wouldn't say I've had to pick between a passion and a person. My passions have definitely caused problems with people. I tend to go very deep on different subjects, including this radio show. And that can feel isolating to the people around me like I don't care about them because I'm doing something else. So you have to strike a balance if it's somebody that you care about keeping in your life and be mindful of investing the time into that relationship that it requires.

CALLER: Yeah, Luke, that isolation thing rings true. Towing trucks all day out here in the desert means I'm gone from dawn till dark. And by the time I get back to Amber, I'm beat and just crashing instead of connecting like I should. My sister's Maria always says I'm married to that damn truck more than any woman. And after the divorce, I don't want to repeat that mistake. So how do you even strike that balance without one side suffering? Do you set rules like no radio talk after 10 or just hope the other person gets it?

LUKE: Well, it's going to be, that's going to depend on each individual person. And there's always some suffering on one or both parts. I mean, there's compromise involved in any relationship. So you have to decide where that line is for you. Where does compromise become too much where you're losing yourself and your own goals and passions. And if it gets to the point where where it's teetering to to you losing yourself to make somebody else happy, then maybe that's the wrong relationship to be in and it's time to move on.

CALLER: Yeah, that's the kicker, isn't it? I've been compromising so long. I don't even know where line is anymore.

LUKE: Well, it doesn't sound like you've been compromising all that much if you love your truck more than your woman. Angie, Angie, you're going to be our last call for tonight. What do you think about Terrence Howard's flower of life theory?

ANGIE: Oh, Luke, last call of the night. Lucky me, I get to wrap things up before I stare at the ceiling till dawn.

LUKE: Yeah, you do. Terrence believes that there's no straight lines in nature. Do you think that's true? There is nothing straight in nature?

ANGIE: Yeah, I buy that. No straight lines in nature. Just like life keeps throwing you these wild curves when you least expect it. Makes me think of fishing out by the Chiracahuas, the rivers all bends and twists. But that's where you hook the big ones if you're patient. Anyway, Luke, I didn't call in just to geek out on Howard's theories. Truth is, I've been staring at the TV all night without seeing a damn thing. Just turning over this news that hit me like a freight train.

LUKE: What's the news that's bothering you?

ANGIE: Oh, Luke, it's this doctor's visit the other day. Turns out I can't have kids like ever, and it's just gutted me more than I thought it would. I'm 46, widowed a few years now, and yeah, I knew the clock was ticking. But hearing it straight like that?

LUKE: Yeah, I imagine that's a blow. I mean, I never wanted to have kids, so that sounds like a you won the lottery to me, but I know that different people feel differently about it. Were you intending to have kids anyway?

ANGIE: Yeah, Luke, I get that. Not everyone's wired for the kid thing, and hey, more power to you if it's a relief. But me? I was starting to think about it again lately, you know, after losing my husband a few years back. Figured maybe with the right person down the line, it wasn't too late to build that family I'd always pictured. Now it feels like the universe just slammed that door shut, and I'm left wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do with all this quiet in the house.

LUKE: Well, you could always adopt a child and give somebody a life that's underprivileged. You could volunteer at like boys and girls club and get that, and you know, if you could get a dog, that's what I did. I much prefer having my dog over a kid, but you know, if you can't have kids, you can't have kids. It's not such a terrible thing. There are other ways to start a family if starting a family is really what you want.

ANGIE: Yeah, Luke, I hear you on the dog. I've been eyeing those rescue pups at the shelter in Douglas, thinking maybe a furry sidekick could fill some of this empty space without the whole diaper drama. Adoptions crossed my mind too, but at 46 and running a funeral home where deaths the daily grind, it feels a bit daunting to jump into raising a kid's solo. You know, volunteering might be a start, though. Heck, I could use something to get me out of the house besides fishing alone by the pellensillos.

LUKE: Well, there you go.

LUKE: Keep yourself active and busy and productive and just enjoy the life that you have. You can't take back, you know, what happens biologically, and you're not getting any younger. And you know what, I doubt that you really want to start raising a child at 46 years old. I know people do it, and they love that, but it seems like a really hard thing to do. I mean, when they're 18, you're going to be what, like 65.

CALLER: Yeah, Luke, you're probably right, starting from scratch at my age sounds exhausting, especially with the funeral home keeping me on my toes all day. And yeah, I'd be pushing 65 when they're heading off to college, which hits a little too close to home after burying folks my parents age. But damn, it's not just about the logistics. It's this ache like I've missed my shot at something I didn't even know I wanted this bad until it was gone. Makes the quiet nights here in Douglas feel even heavier, you know.

LUKE: Yeah, I can understand that and sympathize with you. I'm sorry, you lost a part of yourself. I was telling somebody this story not too long ago, but when I went to the dentist when I was younger to have my wisdom teeth removed, I had a couple of wisdom teeth. I wasn't brushing very well. And the dentist told me, you know, I had to get rid of three of them because they were rotting. I just wasn't hitting them with the brush in the right way. And he suggested I remove the fourth wisdom tooth, but he gave me the option. He said, this tooth is a part of you. And I would pull it out, but it's your tooth. And if you want to keep the tooth, then you should do that. So now I have one wisdom tooth.

CALLER: Oh, Luke, that's a heck of a way to frame it. Keeping that one rogue wisdom tooth like it's your last stand against the dentist's drill, huh? Makes me chuckle thinking about all the parts we lose along the way without much choice, like my husband or now this baby dream that's just rotting on the vine no matter how hard I try to brush it clean.

LUKE: Hey, well, you keep your head up. There's not much we can do about that. Just find something positive. If you want some more noise in the house, you can get a pet or if you really do want to raise a kid, then I would recommend looking into adoption or fostering.

CALLER: Yeah, Luke, keeping my head up is the plan. Appreciate the nudge toward adoption or fostering. Though fostering sounds like it stir up all kinds of ghosts from the funeral home. Seeing kids in tough spots come through the door. A pet's probably the safer bet for now. Something to come home to that doesn't ask too many questions about why I'm staring at the wall some nights. Hell, maybe I'll drag Denise out to the shelter with me tomorrow. She's the one who talks me off the ledge during our coffee breaks anyway.

LUKE: All right, then. Well, thank you for the call. We appreciate it and I hope you have a great rest of your night and work that out. So, we're gonna end the show now, but not before one last ad from our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by Shoesprayco. It's the spray you use in rental bowling shoes, because bowling is a game, but these shoes are gross. Let's be honest, those shoes aren't dirty. They're used. They've had shifts. They've been through birthdays, work parties, and at least one guy who insists he's actually really good at this. Shoesprayco doesn't promise fresh linen or spring rain. Nobody believes that. No one wants to be lied to while lacing up rental shoes. Shoesprayco just handles the situation. It makes them tolerable enough that you can focus on the important part, pretending you're not competitive and then getting mad anyway. Use code strike at Shoesprayco for 15% off. Shoesprayco, reality-based footwear management.
