LUKE: All right, welcome back to Luke at the Roost. I am Luke, and this is Luke at the Roost, the call-in radio show where you can call in and tell me about what's going on in your life. And I'll give you the very best advice that I can. If you'd like to call in, the number's 208-439-58-3. That's 208-439 Luke. If you can't reach the phone right now and you'd still like to participate in the show, you can send us an email. The roost.com. Today is Sunday, March 1st. Happy first day of spring, everybody. And we've got a voicemail from a caller here. So let's see what our caller has to say.

TIMOTHY: Luke, my name is Timothy. I've got an English bulldog named Buttercup. That's the light of my life. I walk Buttercup twice a day. And I usually route through our neighborhood, which sits at the end of a nice cold sack, takes us by our neighbor marg. I think she's a retired trucker or a masseuse. something. Anyways, she's a nice enough lady, just excruciatingly nosy. Now, it wasn't a problem until recently. Her normal subject matter is lost jobs or love affairs, illegitimate offspring and clandestine abortions and addictions of various genres that afflicted one or more of our neighbors on any given day. Then, last week, she told me how she went down to Peru with Old Lady McGinnis, two houses down. said that they led a group of commandos to rescue the crew of a downed aircraft that had been skinned by an invisible dreadlocked Austrian immigrant or something. I don't know she's lost me at that point. And just yesterday, after dinner, she told me about how she rescued the young couple in the Nissan from Russian assassin. Luke, I think she's lost her marbles. I'm afraid she has advanced Alzheimer's. I don't know how long she's been afflicted by this condition. Frankly, I don't know who I am anymore. I used to plan my entire week around the intel. I gathered from Mars, and now that I know that my source can't be trusted, I'm not left with many options. I just don't know what to do. Feeling lost in Lost Lunas. Can you help?

LUKE: Oh, well, there's a lot to unpack there, Timothy in Lost Lunas. It sounds like, first of all, I wouldn't assume that your neighbor has lost her marbles you said that she traveled to Peru. It's not easy to do an international trip like that. I mean, you have to have some level of wherewithal left in you to be able to get your passport and whatever shots you need and make it all the way to Peru. So what if what she's telling you here about the downed aircraft rescue is the truth? I don't know. I think I'd probably have to meet this lady for myself to make a good judgment call. But I would say don't rule her out yet, Timothy, she could be our last and final hope. I would be proud to have her as a neighbor because if ever there was an invisible dreadlock Austrian, is that what she said? An Austrian dreadlock soldier? I don't know that I would have the courage to stand up to that myself without, without, I don't know, what would you say, a retired trucker slash masseuse? It seems like she could have the skills we need to survive. I don't know. But that's my advice for you, sir, is don't rule her out just yet. She may be our best and final hope. Thanks for the call. I hope that you have a wonderful march. And tell what was her name again? Bertha? Martha? Whatever the fuck her name was. Tell her to have a good day too, all right? And now our phones are lighting up. So we're going to go talk to Marcus. Marcus, welcome to the show. What's going on in your life today? Do you have any advice for our friend Timothy in Los Lunas?

MARCUS: Hey, Luke. Yeah, thanks for taking my call. I don't know about advice for anybody right now. Honestly, I'm sitting here in the dark and I can hear that wind just hammering the side of the house. You know, dust everywhere. Spring in New Mexico.

LUKE: You sound like an Australian gentleman. Might you have dreadlocks by any chance?

MARCUS: What? No, man. I'm from a... Albuquerque. Born and raised. I don't know what you're hearing, but I've lived here my whole life. No dreadlocks? Just a regular guy with a regular hair cart trying to figure some things out at two in the morning.

LUKE: All right, man, what are you trying to figure out tonight?

MARCUS: So three months ago, my foreman cut me a check wrong. Added an extra zero. $5,000 instead of $500.

LUKE: Well, that sounds like one of them good problems to have.

MARCUS: That's what I thought at first, you know. My truck transmission had just gone out. It cost me 200 to fix, New Mexico State, and they'd sent another one of those letters, the red ones that say if you don't pay, they're going to drop her classes. So I looked at that check, and I just...

LUKE: You just what? What are you going to do with the check?

MARCUS: I deposited it. That day, didn't say a word to anybody.

LUKE: Well, I imagine that there's going to be some sort of accounts payable coming after you, right? They're going to notice that there was an issue and want that money back eventually.

MARCUS: That's the thing, Luke. That's what's been eating at me. I kept telling me. I kept telling myself, okay, next week when I see him, I'll mention it. Then it was the week after. Then a month goes by. And every two weeks, another paycheck comes through. Clean, no questions.

LUKE: Well, obviously, it's eaten at you. You know, that's wrong. And there was a mistake made. And there's no reason you should have got $5,000 instead of $500. So eventually, when they do their books, they're going to realize they're missing $4,500. And they're going to come looking for you for it. And I don't know that looks like that's never happened to me before. I'm not sure what they can do if they can like pull that money out of your account on their own. But it seems like the type of thing you want to get in front of and talk to them about and let them know, hey, I needed that money and I'll get it back to you by the end of the year when you have to do your books or something. But I think ignoring it's probably going to get you into trouble.

MARCUS: See, that's what I keep thinking too. But it's been three months now. Three months. And the longer it goes, it feels to say something because now it doesn't look like I just forgot to mention it. Now it looks like I stole it.

LUKE: I don't think it looks like you stole it because, I mean, you didn't write yourself the check, right? And you probably are not in a position where you could write yourself a check. So I think everybody probably understands you didn't steal the money, but not coming clean that there was a mistake is going to come back at you eventually. Unless this is a tiny company that doesn't take track of their books.

MARCUS: It's not time. We do commercial roofing, got about 40 guys. They've got accountants, the whole thing. And you're right. I can't write checks. I'm just crude.

LUKE: Yeah, you obviously didn't steal the money. There was a mistake made and you kind of let that happen, which I think probably most people would do. But still, it's not your money. You weren't owed that money. And if you've spent the money, eventually they're going to want it back and you're going to have to come up with a way to, you know, make them whole again. Either that or work out. with them some way to do enough work to pay it off, you know? That might be an option too.

MARCUS: I know. I know. And I have been working extra. Picking up overtime every chance I get. But it's not enough.

LUKE: Well, if you're picking up the overtime, then you're not really working off the debt. You're picking up additional overtime and taking more money from the company.

MARCUS: Yeah, man, you got to have a sit down with the people that you work for and let them know that there was a I don't know what could happen or, you know, what recourse they have to come back after that money, but you might expect that the money is going to be debited from your account at the worst possible time.

MARCUS: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. The worst possible time. That's what keeps me up at night, Luke. Because my girlfriend, she's been saving up.

LUKE: What's she saving up for?

MARCUS: She wants us to take a trip this summer, like a real one. She mentioned it tonight and she had this smile, you know? Like she's really excited about it. And I just just, I just sat there nodding like, yeah, that sounds great. When I know I've got this thing hanging over me that could blow up any second.

LUKE: She doesn't happen to want to go to Peru, does she?

MARCUS: No, she's talking about the coast. California, maybe. Somewhere she can see the ocean. She's never seen it.

LUKE: So have you spent the $5,000 already? Is it already completely gone?

MARCUS: Most of it. The truck transmission was two grand. My daughter's tuition payment was $1,500. Then there was $1,000. the credit card I've been dodging. Rent I was behind on. I've still got maybe 800 left, but that's supposed to be for... It doesn't matter what it's supposed to be for.

LUKE: Do you have some sort of a line of credit or a way that you could get the $4,500 if you need to, overnight?

MARCUS: I mean, I could probably scrape together maybe two grand if I had to. My buddy owns a pawn shop. I've got some tools, my old welder. But four and a half? That fast?

LUKE: See, that's why I think you should talk to them about it before they find out. Because if they find out and come looking for the money, they're going to want it back immediately. But if you talk to them and let them know, hey, I think there was a mistake. I didn't even, you know, notice. I was just doing my thing and I paid my bills. And I think that I actually owe the company money. I think they'll work something out with you where, you know, you can pay 50 bucks out of every paycheck or something until it's paid off.

MARCUS: You think they do that? I mean, Luke, it's been three months. How do I walk in there and say I just noticed? Nobody's going to believe that.

LUKE: They might because not everybody lives check to check, man. So, I mean, it's not that unheard of that you didn't notice that there was money in your account that you spent because not everybody looks at their account every week or every paycheck. And it would be wrong of them to assume that you do. So yeah, I think they might do that, especially since it was their mistake, right? So somebody has to admit that they made a mistake and paid out too much money. And they're not going to want to do that. So if they can clean that up on the down low with you with an agreement that you can both deal with, I think that's the best case scenario.

MARCUS: Yeah, I guess. I mean, it was their mistake. I just, I should have said something right away. That's the part that's eating at me.

LUKE: Well, yeah, morally, you probably should have, but you didn't. And they made the mistake and they haven't noticed it yet. So it's not realistic for them to expect that you would have noticed it. So just talk to them. Be honest and work it out. And I think that you'll be just fine.

MARCUS: I don't know if I can just walk in there and say it. I mean, what if they don't believe me? What if they think I'm trying to scam them?

LUKE: Why would they think you're trying to scam them if you're trying to give them their money back? That doesn't make any sense.

MARCUS: Because I waited three months, Luke. That's what makes it look bad. If I walk in tomorrow and say, hey, I just realized, who waits three months to realize they got an extra five grand?

LUKE: Plenty of people do. And you could too. And they don't know that you don't. So, yeah. And even if you did wait three months, so what? You waited until you did your taxes and then your accountant found it. It's not a big deal. They're obviously not sweating it after three months, so neither should you.

MARCUS: My accountant found it. Yeah, yeah. I could say that. I mean, I don't actually have an accountant, but they don't know that. You really think they won't fire me over this?

LUKE: I don't think they can fire you over that because you really didn't do anything wrong. Like, they messed up and overpaid you. That's not anything you did. So no, they can't fire you.

MARCUS: But I kept it. That's the thing. I knew it was wrong. And I kept it. I used it. I paid my daughter's tuition with it. I fixed my truck.

LUKE: Yes, you did. And you're very sorry about that. But they don't have to know that. You know, you can make it right still. You don't have to go out and say you spent the money the second you saw it, because you knew that was wrong. Even if that's the truth, you can just let them know, hey, I noticed that you never came looking for this extra money you paid me and I owe it to you. So let's see how we can make that work out.

MARCUS: So just don't mention the three months. Don't mention that I knew. Just say my accountant caught it. And I want to make it right. But what if they pull the records? What if they can see exactly when I deposited it?

LUKE: Well, they can and they will. And that's okay because they made the mistake three months ago and you're bringing it to their attention, which is the right thing to do. So they're not going to be upset that you didn't bring it to their attention for three months. They obviously don't miss the money, right? So I mean, you're helping them cover up their own that's my advice for you. I think you should go in there and tell them that, hey, it looks like I got paid extra and I owe you guys some money. So let's work this out. And that's it. And nobody has to get fired and it's not a big thing. If they do fire you over it, keep the five grand.

MARCUS: I don't want the five grand. That's the whole point. I don't want it.

LUKE: Well, it's easy to say you don't want it after you already spent it, isn't it?

MARCUS: That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. I just, I keep thinking about my girlfriend talking about this trip, you know? She's been putting money away.

LUKE: Well, one thing you could do if you're really paranoid about them taking the money out of your account is move that money to a different account so that they can't do an ACH debit from your account. I don't even know if they can. I don't even know if that's the thing that they could do. They can deposit money into your account, but I don't think your employer can withdraw money from your account, even if it was a mistake without you saying that's okay. So don't worry about it, Just do the right thing, clean it up, and pay it back over time.

MARCUS: Yeah. Yeah, okay. I can set up a payment plan or something. They're not going to want it all at once anyway. I mean, they can't get blood from a stone, right?

LUKE: Well, they probably are going to want it all at once, but what they want and what you give them are two different things. So just they should be thankful that you're going to give them anything back, especially if you don't legally have to. But I don't know if you do legally have to. So that's the thing. Man, just just. Do the best you can. All right. Next up, we've got Shanice.

SHANICE: After I've been on shift since Friday morning. And I don't know, something about that just, well, shoot, it set me off.

LUKE: Yeah. Well, I mean, you can just tell them, no, I'm busy. You know, I have other plans. And I don't care if it's mandatory. You didn't give me enough notice. And that's reasonable.

SHANICE: Oh, I wish it were that simple, Luke. I did tell him that, well, not in those exact words, but I may have said something like, you want me to learn about avocado toast at 6 a.m. after I've been up for 36 hours? My grandmother lived to on black coffee and spite. And she never once set foot in a seminar. And then he got all huffy and said, well, the county's new wellness policy says? And I lost it. I said the county's wellness policy also says we get a 24 hour break between shifts, but here I am eating cold enchiladas in the ambulance bay while my partner naps in the bunk room because we're short-staffed again. And then, oh gosh, this is the part I'm not proud of. I may have muttered something about how if the county really cared about our wellness. They'd hire more staff instead of making us sit through PowerPoints about chia seeds. And now I'm pretty sure I'm on his list.

LUKE: Yeah, I bet you are.

LUKE: I mean, that's an attitude problem, they might call it. But you're also not wrong at all. And no, the county doesn't care about you at all. So you're right about that part. But if you don't want to go to this seminar, then don't go. And they will have to reschedule it. And that's all there is to it. They're not going to can you for it. They're already short staff. They can't can you for it. it. So you probably do have to do the seminar, but you don't have to do it at Monday at 6 a.m. They can move it for you. And you can let them know that.

SHANICE: You know what, Luke? You're absolutely right. I think part of why I got so worked up is I've been doing this thing where I just accept whatever they throw at me because I feel guilty, you know? Like, oh, we're short-staffed. So I have to cover this shift. I have to do this training. I have to. And somewhere in there, I forgot I can actually say. No. My grandmother used to tell me, Shanice, being nice, doesn't mean being a dormant. And I swear I can hear her voice right now saying, girl, what are you doing? But here's the thing that's really eating at me. And this is why I called, I think it's not even about the seminar.

LUKE: All right. What's it about?

SHANICE: It's about the fact that I yelled at my supervisor about wellness seminars while standing next to a man who forgot to eat for three days. And I drove him to the hospital and I made sure he was okay. And I did my job perfect. But the whole time I'm thinking, buddy, I get it because I've been on shift since Friday. And I honestly can't remember if I ate lunch yesterday or dinner. I know I had these enchiladas my neighbor brought over last week, but before that. And then I'm sitting there lecturing my supervisor about how the county doesn't care about our wellness. And I realized, Luke, I don't care about my wellness either.

LUKE: And there you go. And that's the problem. Because if you care about your wellness, you have to stand up for yourself and your wellness. And working 36 hours and stupid trainings is not taking care of you. And if you're going to continue to work like that, you're going to get burned out. And then you're going to be even more short-staffed, right? The county's going to suffer because you're not able to do the job correctly. Because nobody can if they're working 36 hours at a time. Like that doesn't scale. You can't do that for very long before it's going to make you sick.

SHANICE: You're right. You're so right. And it's not even just about me getting sick. It's about making mistakes. I mean, we're dealing with people's lives out here. What if I miss something? Because I'm running on fumes? That's what scares me.

LUKE: Yeah, and it should scare you. And honestly, you don't have to work 36-hour shifts and go to this training. So don't do it. Just say, no, I'm burnt out. I can't do it. If you want me to go to this training to satisfy the counties, whatever, I will, but you're going to have to do it on my schedule. And that's perfectly acceptable. And if they have a problem with it, tell them to go fuck themselves.

SHANICE: Oh, gosh, Luke. I, well, I can't say that last part, but I wish I could. You're right, though. I can say no. I should say no. And honestly, hearing you say it like that, so blunt, so firm, it's like a weight lifted. I've been so stuck in this cycle of just...

LUKE: Well, you'd be surprised what you can say once you actually say it. You can get away with saying quite a bit. I tell people to go fuck themselves once a week. It's hard first time, but it gets much easier after that. So that's what I recommend. Tell them, you can try to be nice about it, but if they give you any pushback at all, let them know you're not going to have that. Or they're going to have to find a whole new crew because everybody's going to quit.

SHANICE: Oh, I can just picture my supervisor's face if I said that. He'd probably call HR and then I'd have to explain to them that no, I wasn't actually threatening to quit. I was just, well, okay, maybe I was threatening to quit. But you're right. If I'm this exhausted, I'm not the only one. And if we all said no, maybe they'd actually listen.

LUKE: Yeah, sometimes you have to not be afraid and actually stand up to them and tell them to go fuck themselves for them to actually listen. Because otherwise, they think they can just make you do whatever they say. And they don't care. They're getting enough sleep at night, right? It's not any skin off their nuts. But you're the one that's up 36 hours and they're telling you to go to some seminar about avocado toast. No, just say no. I'm not doing that. And if you are going to try and force me to do it, if my job is dependent Then find somebody else, you fucking guppy. That's what you say. You fucking guppy.

SHANICE: Oh my gosh, Luke. I'm going to remember that one. You know what? You're absolutely right. They do get enough sleep. My supervisor goes home at five every single day. And I guarantee you he's not lying awake at three in the morning, wondering if he remembered to restock the rig. Or if he documented that patient's vitals correctly. He's sleeping just fine while I'm out here eating cold enchiladas in the ambulance bay, trying to stay awake for another twilight.

LUKE: Well, there you go. You know what you have to do and you have to take care of yourself and your own health before you can take care of anybody else. And that's just the way it is. And there's study after study after study that proves that. I mean, it's common fucking sense. And if they want to give you a hard time about it, give them a hard time back. Because you have leverage here. And they don't want you to know that you have leverage. But of course you have leverage. You're the one that shows up and does the job. You're trained. You're not easy to replace. And it's very, very expensive to get rid of you. They know that. They don't want to, uh, they don't want you to know that, but but now you do. And, uh, you have the power to, to set your own schedule and set your own limits and keep them.

SHANICE: You know what, Luke? I needed to hear that. I really did. Because I've been walking around feeling like I'm the problem, like I'm not tough enough or I'm complaining too much. Or I should just be grateful I have a job. But you're right.

LUKE: Of course I'm right. It's the man. That's how the man operates. They want you to feel that way. they demand that you feel that way so that they can, you know, make their money. And it's bullshit. And they're doing it on your back. And it's going to burn you out and significantly affect your physical and mental health. And it's not okay. So stand up to them. Don't go to the meeting. Or, you know, make them schedule it somewhere that fits in your life so that you can get enough sleep. You know how you have to operate to do your job. And you know when you're overextended.

SHANICE: Extended now. So if you've got to take some days off and sleep, then you do that. You're right. I'm overextended right now. I am. And honestly, I've been telling myself I'll sleep when this shift ends. And then the next one starts. And I just keep pushing through. My grandmother used to say you can't pour from an empty cup. And I always thought that was kind of cheesy. But, well, shoot, my cup's been empty for weeks now.

LUKE: man up and do it. And you'll be just fine. If they have a problem with it, then they can hire enough people to do the job so that you can rotate adequately and get yourself enough sleep. With that, we have to take a small break for a word from our sponsors. I'm just going to say it. Your penis isn't working. I said it. It's out there now. The word is in the air. We're all adults. Some of us are adults whose penises work, and some of us are adults who are listening very carefully right now while pretending to adjust the radio so the person in the passenger seat doesn't see their face. It's fine. It happens to, and this is the real number, roughly half of all men over 40 at some point. Half. You're not special. You're not broken.

LUKE: You're not the first guy this happened to, and you're not going to be the last. You're just the guy it's happening to right now. And right now you have two options. Option one, do nothing. Keep staring at the ceiling. Keep blaming the altitude, the stress, the medication, the alignment of mercury, the fact that you ate dairy, none of which are the problem. Option two? Sandstone. $45. A doctor who has literally heard everything and will not flinch. Medication that works, a box that reveals nothing, and the ability to walk into your bedroom like a man who handled his business instead of a man who's about to suggest watching another episode of. something. Sandstone. I said the word. You heard the word. Now go to the website. A very special thank you to our sponsors at Sandstone. Let's see. What do we got here? Next up on the caller line is Curtis. Curtis, welcome to the show. How can we help you tonight?

CURTIS: My mom's garage is full of my dead dad's records. And I just spent 40 minutes out there getting mad at myself for crying over a copy of that sounds exactly the same as the Spotify version I play on my job site speaker.

LUKE: Yeah, well, I'm not familiar with the record, Abraxas. I don't know who that is, but I don't think you're crying over the record.

CURTIS: Abraxas, Santana. And yeah, you are probably right about that. But I have been doing a really good job of not thinking about my dad for like three years. And now my mom wants to donate his whole collection to Goodwill. And I am sitting here at her kitchen table with the phone cord stretched across the counter like it is is 1995.

LUKE: Well, maybe you should tell your mom you don't want to part with your dad's record collection. Maybe that's important to you, and that's okay.

CURTIS: She's just going to donate it to Goodwill. She could donate it to you. I already loaded them in my truck, all of them. She does not even know yet. I just kept bringing boxes in from the garage. And she's in the living room watching her Navolas, and I am out here with like 60 pounds of vinyl that I do not even have a turntable for.

LUKE: Everybody grieves in a different way, and it takes a different amount of time for everybody. So that's not, there's nothing wrong with you for that. It makes sense. If I ran into a warehouse full of my dad's old stuff, it would probably be an emotional event. So you don't have to feel weird about that. And you should take those records. And maybe someday, if they're not doing you any good and you don't get a turntable, then donate them to goodwill. But right now, it's not hurting anybody for you to take those.

CURTIS: The thing is, I have been making jokes about this for years. Like, my whole thing in family stuff is doing my bit about how my dad had terrible taste, how he thought Santana was deep, how he would put on Oye Comova, and act like he was teaching me about my culture when really he just liked guitar solos. I have gotten a lot of mileage out of that material.

LUKE: Well, I mean, good for you. But there are lots of other records in there, and it's not about the records. It's about that he owned them. That was something that he loved that, that reminds you of him and it makes sense for you to want some sort of memento from your dead father. He obviously meant something to you and that's okay.

CURTIS: He walked out when I was 14. Moved to Tucson with some woman. He met at the port. I saw him maybe six times after that before he died. So the whole thing is stupid, right? Like, I am getting emotional over the record collection of a guy who could not be bothered to drive an hour south to see his own kid for years at a time.

LUKE: Yeah, and it's okay to be mad about that. But, uh, There were 14 years there where he was there with you that you remember fondly, I'm sure. So, I mean, don't be too mad at yourself. Don't judge yourself too much for how you're feeling about this. Your father died, and that's a big event. So it makes sense that you would have an emotional connection to the things he left behind.

CURTIS: The last time I saw him was at a Denny's off the 10. He wanted to tell me he was sick, pancreatic cancer. And I sat there eating a grand slam, and I did a whole 15th, minutes on how at least he picked the right restaurant for bad news. How Denny's is where you go when you have already given up.

LUKE: Now, now, I happen to enjoy Denny's because it's open 24-7 and they serve eggs. And there's almost the entire menu of Denny's I will eat. It's America's favorite diner, you son of a bitch.

CURTIS: See, you are doing the thing I do, making it a bit. Except I was doing it to my dying father and he just sat there and took it because what was he going to say? He knew he deserved it. in my truck, and I do not know what I am supposed to do with the fact that I am sad about a man I spent six years being mad at.

LUKE: You're supposed to be sad, and you don't have to wallow in sadness forever, but if you're feeling sad about your father and it's bringing back memories for you, that's perfectly normal and perfectly okay, and you can allow yourself the space to feel those things. Even if he was a cunt, you know, even if he did walk out on you and you were angry at him for six years, that doesn't mean he was still your father. And he still meant something to you, and it's still a significant emotional event that requires grieving. And that's what you're doing. So you don't have to worry about anything.

CURTIS: I just, I don't even know what I'm grieving. The guy who taught me to drive, the guy who took me to see Los Lobos at the old El Rio, or the guy who left and never really came back. Because those are two different people, and I don't know which one I'm supposed to be sad about. And now I've got his records in my truck, like some kind of emotional hostage situation.

LUKE: You can be sad about whatever picture of your father you have concocted in your mind. It doesn't matter. Just deal with the feelings that you're feeling. Enjoy the records. And when it's time to let go of them, let go of them. But you don't have to worry about or feel guilty about how you're feeling towards your father. No matter what he did, you're feeling how you're feeling. That's okay. Don't let it take over your life, though.

CURTIS: I mean, I could just enjoy the records, but that's not the bit. The bit is that I'm sitting in my truck outside my mom's house at midnight with a box of vinyl, and I just realized I don't even own a turntable. I've got a Bluetooth speaker from Home Depot and a Spotify playlist called Dad's Shit. Do not delete. So now I've got to either buy a turntable, which, by the way, costs more than my truck is worth, or admit that the whole thing was just me being sentimental over something I can't even use.

LUKE: You don't have to use it. You can just look at the records. You can enjoy the smell of the records. You can read the cover art from the records. Or you can buy a turntable. They're like 30 bucks. It's not a big deal. If you want to play those records, you can get into vinyl. You can be some hipster douchebag if you want to be. There's nothing wrong with that. Go to fucking hot topic and get yourself a turntable. Get two of them and a microphone.

CURTIS: Oh, now you're just making fun of me. I know I could buy a turntable. I know I could just look at the records. But that's not the point. The point is that I'm I'm out here acting like some kind of record purist when I don't even like records.

LUKE: You're not acting like a record purist. What are you talking about? You just said you took your dead dad's records and put them in your truck because you didn't want your mom to give them to goodwill. That's not being a record purist. You're not saying that your Spotify playlist is no good anymore because of the sound of vinyl is unmatched in audio fidelity. Stop it.

CURTIS: Okay, you're right. You're right. I'm not being a purist. I'm just, I'm holding on to something because it's the last thing of his that feels like it matters.

LUKE: Yeah, and that's perfectly okay.

LUKE: And you're grieving the death of your father, which is normal for anybody to do, and you have to do it eventually. So, you know, maybe you went three years by pushing that down and not dealing with it. And now is the time that you've got to deal with it. Whatever. It doesn't matter. You're not hurting anybody by taking those records home. And you don't have to feel weird about it. Just to do what you've got to do. If some point down the line, they're taking up too much space or you decide that records fucking suck and you don't want to buy new needles for your $30 turntable, then bring them to goodwill. That's all. It's not a, it's not a thing that has to keep you up at night wondering, you know, why you're feeling that way. Just feel the way you feel and move on.

CALLER: Yeah, yeah. Okay. I can do that.

LUKE: I know you can. And you will. Because you, sir, are a man. And that's what men do. All right. Next up, we've got Monique. Monique, welcome to the, uh, welcome to look at the roost. How can we help you tonight?

MONIQUE: Hey, Luke. So I'm a social worker, and about three weeks ago, I got arrested on a hiking trail for trespassing. My mugshots online now, and all my clients have seen it. I'm sitting here in a laundromat at midnight, wondering if I can still do my job when everyone already thinks I'm a screw up.

LUKE: Well, what was going on here? What hiking trail were you on that you were trespassing on? If it was a hiking trail, obviously it was public.

MONIQUE: No, that's the thing. It was a thing. It was a public. There's this trail that runs through private ranchland out past the state park, and everyone hikes it anyway because it's been there forever, and connects to the good overlook. I've been hiking it for two years, never had a problem. But the landowner finally got fed up, I guess, called the sheriff, and they were waiting at the trailhead when we came back down, cited like six of us.

LUKE: Yeah, well, a citation is not the same as an arrest. You're not going to have a mugshot for a citation, and it doesn't sound right to me that they would arrest you for trespassing on a hiking trail, even if it pissed off the ranch owner. So if you were arrested and they took your mugshot and brought you down to the station and everything, it's because you were probably an asshole to the officer, were you?

MONIQUE: I'm at the laundromat on Route 70, the one that's open all night. And yeah, okay, you're right. I wasn't an asshole, but I was stubborn about it.

LUKE: Okay, well, you were stubborn about it. You got yourself in trouble, and now everybody knows that you were Nobody cares. People might give you a dirty look for a little while, but nobody gives a shit about trespassing. It's a joke charge.

MONIQUE: That's what I keep telling myself, but it doesn't feel like a joke when I'm doing home visits and the dad smirking at me asking if I need a ride home. All my co-workers making comments in the break room about setting an example. I work with families who are already suspicious of the system. Already think we're just there to judge them and take their kids. And now I show up and they've all seen me looking guilty under those fluorescent lights with trail dust still in my hair. How am I supposed to tell a mom she needs to get her act together when my face is right there on the county website?

LUKE: Easy, because that's your job to do. And even if your, you know, faces on the county website, who cares? They might look at you a little funny for a little while, but that's only going to be news for a week or two and everybody's going to forget because it's not important. And everybody that is sane, recognizes that trespassing is a joke. And if you are arrested for it, then it's because you were an asshole.

MONIQUE: So what you're saying is I made it worse by being stubborn with the cop. And now I just need to eat it and move on. But here's what I can't get past. I've got this one family, the Hernandez is, right? The dad has a DUI from four years ago. Every time I visit, I can see it in his eyes that he thinks I'm there to catch him messing up. Prove he's still that guy.

LUKE: Are you? Is that your intention when you go visit him?

MONIQUE: No. I mean, my job is to make sure the kids are safe and the home stable. But I'm not trying to catch him being who he was four years ago. I actually think he's doing pretty good. He's working. The house is clean. Kids are fed. But Friday when he saw me, he had this look like, oh, now we're even. And made that crack about the ride home.

LUKE: Are you still able to do your job and perform your duties as they're assigned to you?

MONIQUE: Yeah. I finished the visit. Checked every day. Everything I needed to check, filed my report. Nothing changed about the actual work. It's just, I don't know.

LUKE: It's just that you're embarrassed. You broke the law. You got caught. You were publicly ridiculed in the paper. And you're embarrassed about it. And maybe you should be because you did break the law. And you were stubborn with a police officer. So, I mean, you deserve those things. But that doesn't make you any worse at your job make it so that you shouldn't be taken seriously when you're performing the duties that you're there to perform, right? And you're just going to have to get over your embarrassment and move on with your life. And everybody else is going to have to treat you like the professional that you are, because if they don't, you're going to take their kids away.

MONIQUE: You're right. I am embarrassed. And yeah, I was being stubborn because I thought I was right about something that didn't matter.

LUKE: Well, there you go. And that's all it is. And a week from now, it won't be a thing anymore, and you don't have to worry about it. Just keep doing your job the best you can. And maybe remember next time when you're judging somebody for their arrests or what they look like in their mugshot, that you've been on the other side of that. It can actually make you better and more empathic? Empathetic? I don't know what the right word is. It can make you understand their struggles more and perform your job better. Look at it like an opportunity to increase your effectiveness with the public.

MONIQUE: That's actually, yeah. I've been so worried about losing credibility that I didn't think about it that way. When Mr. Hernandez made that comment Friday, maybe she wasn't mocking me. Maybe he was testing to see if I get defensive, if I'm the kind of person who can't handle being wrong.

LUKE: And you're a big girl. You can take a little mocking. That's what people do. I mean, it's. It's a little bit funny, you have to admit, and people are going to mock you a little, and that's all right. But you can stand up and do your job, and it doesn't really matter at the end of the day.

MONIQUE: Yeah, it is kind of funny. I was out there with a metal detector looking for old coins in the middle of nowhere and got so worked up about whether it was actually BLM land that I argued with a cop about jurisdiction. Like, what was I going to do, cite case law, over a hiking trail?

LUKE: Right. So your problem is solved here. Just going to deal with the embarrassment for a little while, and don't worry about it too much. Try and put yourself in somebody else's shoes now and recognize that a picture in the paper doesn't necessarily mean that a person is bad or not qualified to do their job. Thank you for the call. I hope everything works out for you. And stay off the hiking trails you're not supposed to be on, all right? Next up, we've got Mitch. Mitch, welcome to the show. How can we help you?

MITCH: Luke, man, I just watch my two best friends who supposedly can't stand each other, make out in a parking garage, and get in the same truck together. And I've been sitting here for like three years, watching them act like they hate each other at every single barbecue we have.

LUKE: All right, I assume they are of the same sex?

MITCH: Yeah, they're both guys. And honestly, that's not even the part that's getting to me. Like, I don't care about that at all. What's making me crazy is they're not.

ALIA: Hey, Luke. Thanks for taking my call. Um, sorry, I just, I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to even start this. I'm calling from work, actually. I work overnights at a group home over in Safford, and everyone's asleep, so I thought, I don't know. I needed to talk to somebody.

LUKE: Well, here I am. What would you like to talk about?

ALIA: So my daughter, she's 10. She came home Friday with a black eye. And at first she said it was nothing, just an accident at recess. You know how kids are. But today, she finally, she finally told me truth. It was another kid at school.

LUKE: Okay, that happens. Kids get in fights at school. Did she start the fight? Do you know anything about the fight? What's going on? Is she being bullied or is it was it just a one-time thing?

ALIA: No, she didn't start it. She said this boy just he pushed her down during PE and when she got up, he hit her. And it's not the first time he's been rough with her. She just, she didn't want to tell me because because the boy's mom is my boss, Renee.

LUKE: Well, it sounds like you should talk to Renee about what's going on here because it's never really okay for a boy to hit a girl. I think we all know that. Everybody pretty much accepts that that's unacceptable. What's your daughter like? What's her personality? What's her demeanor?

ALIA: Oh, she's quiet, you know? Not shy, but she doesn't go looking for trouble. She's the kind of kid who bring home a hurt bird and try to nurse it back to health. Even when I tell her it's probably not going to make it. She's got this big heart, but she's not a pushover. She's got a temper when she's pushed too far.

LUKE: Is she athletic at all? Does she have any sort of physical sports abilities?

ALIA: Yeah, actually. She plays soccer. She's fast, real fast. And she's scrappy when she needs to be on the field. That's why when she told me what happened, part of me was like. Well, I mean, boys shouldn't hit girls, but girls should also be able to fight back.

LUKE: So if she's athletic and she enjoys sporting and that sort of stuff, then maybe it's time to get her into type of martial arts class. So the next time somebody tries to give her a hard time like that, she can kick him in the fucking throat.

ALIA: No, no. That's, that's not what I meant. I was thinking, if she's fast, why didn't she just run?

LUKE: Yeah, but I'm not talking about what you're thinking. I'm talking about what I'm thinking. And what I'm thinking is she should kick that guy in the throat. So maybe it's time for her to learn to stand up for herself because you can only run so many times, right? If you, if somebody's giving you a hard time and you run away. That just makes it worse. Everybody knows that. If somebody's going to push you down, then you've got to be prepared to stand up and fight back. And that goes for boys and girls. That's just how the world works. It's survival of the fittest, you know?

ALIA: I, okay, I hear what you're saying, but that's not really why I called. The problem isn't just what happened to my daughter. The problem is Renee writes my schedule. She handles complaints at the group home where I work.

LUKE: Oh, okay. So your daughter's getting her kicked at school by a boy, and you're calling in because you're afraid that that boy's mom might make it hard for you at work?

ALIA: Jesus. No, I mean, yes, but it's not like that.

LUKE: We can't afford for me to lose this job. My partner's hours got cut at the plant, and we're barely making it as it is. My family's already got opinions about our whole situation. And if I lose this job, they're going to say I told you so about everything. And I don't know how to go to Renee about this without it becoming a whole thing.

ALIA: whole thing and you're a pussy and you're offending me because like what's going on with your daughter at school is more important than how your work situation plays out like your kid needs to be able to stand up for herself against people that would do her harm and this boy is doing her harm and he's going to do it again because that's how bullies operate. So unless you're prepared to give her the training and support she needs to stand up for herself and not be bullied She's going to be a punching bag. That's not cool. Just so you don't get your hours messed with at work, stop it.

LUKE: You're right. You're completely right, and I feel sick hearing you say it out loud. Because I've been sitting here for an hour, staring at my phone, trying to figure out how to handle Renee instead of just, instead of putting my daughter first. God, what am I doing? She came home with a black eye, and I've been worried about the schedule.

ALIA: You don't have to bring this to Renee at all. I mean, you probably should. It's probably one of the... easier ways to deal with it is to just be like, hey, your son has punched my daughter. That's not okay. And I think she would recognize that and it shouldn't affect your work. I'm sure there's human resources there to step in if there's an issue. If you're being targeted by her for bringing that to her attention. But more importantly, your daughter needs to be able to fight back for herself and make sure that the boys aren't going to pick on her.

LUKE: Yeah, I need to go to the school tomorrow. First thing, I don't even know why I was trying to text Renee about it. That's backwards.

ALIA: I'm not telling you to go to the school. I'm not telling you to go to Renee. I'm telling you to get your daughter into some martial arts training so she can protect herself.

LUKE: Martial arts training. Okay, I don't, we don't really have the money for that right now. But maybe there's something at the community center or through the school. Eastern Arizona College might have something. I just need to figure out what's available in Safford that we can actually afford.

ALIA: Well, if you can't afford it, there are ways that you can, you know, train her yourself or have, she's already athletic. She knows how to train for sports. She knows how to do the basic, you know, fundamental exercises, flexibility training. Get her a punching bag. They're not expensive. And give her the support she needs. Let her know that if somebody's picking on you at school, you punch them back. Even if you lose the fight, you punch them back. Or they're just going to keep coming and coming and coming. That's how bullies work. You must know this.

LUKE: I do know this. I work with kids every day at the group home, and I tell them the same thing. Stand up for yourself. Don't let people walk on you. And here I am telling my own daughter to keep her head down because I'm scared of my supervisor. That's pathetic. You're right about the punching bag.

ALIA: That is pathetic. And yeah, you're the role model for your daughter. And if you're a punching bag, then she's going to be a punching bag too. So you've got to learn her to stand up for yourself against the person that writes your schedule at work, and she's got to learn to stand up for herself against bullies that would do her harm at school. And both of you are capable of doing that, as long as she's not looking to you as a role model and seeing you cower down by the person that manages the fucking spreadsheet.

LUKE: God, you're not wrong. She's watching me right now. Watching me tiptoe around Renee. Watching me delete texts for an hour instead of just saying something. And then I wonder why she didn't tell me about the black eye until today. She's learning from me take it and keep quiet because you're afraid of what happens if you don't.

ALIA: And that's no way to live unless you want to be picked on your whole life. And that's possible. If that's what you want, I mean, that's what will happen. So don't let that happen and get yourself some fucking a blockbuster membership and rent some John Claude Van Damme movies and go outside in the backyard and practice fighting.

LUKE: No, that's not what I want. Not for her and not for me either. I'm going to talk to her tonight when I get home. getting her a punching bag that she needs to defend herself. And I'm texting Renee right now. I don't care if it's late.

ALIA: Good for you. Good for you. And if Renee gives you a hard time, you go right to HR and you play that game because you can't punch somebody in the workplace generally. But what you can do is say I'm not going to accept being picked on or targeted for standing up for my kid.

LUKE: You're right. I've got documentation. I've been there three years. My reviews are good. I show up on time. She retaliates? That's on her. Not me. I can't believe I was sitting here trying to figure out how to word it so she wouldn't get mad.

ALIA: Well, now you know.

LUKE: All right. One more call, and that'll be the end of our show. We're going to talk to Darrell. Daryl, what's going on in your life tonight? Why are you calling in?

DARRELL: I just listened to a voicemail from my brother that's three years old, and now I am standing in a gas station parking lot at one in the morning trying to figure out if I should call him back.

LUKE: Why didn't you listen to the voicemail for three years?

DARRELL: Because the phone's been dead in my glove box, I switched carriers, got a new number, threw the old phone in there, and forgot about it. But my girlfriend, Sienna, asked me tonight if I had any pictures from when I first made Sergeant. And I remembered, I took a bunch on that phone, so I dug it out, charged it up, and boom, there's Marcus. Two weeks before he moved to New Mexico without telling anyone.

LUKE: So you changed your phone and didn't talk to your brother for three full years, and now you're wondering if you should call him back?

DARRELL: No, no, we've talked. Not a lot, but we've talked. He's got my new number.

LUKE: Okay, so what's the problem? And then why are you afraid to call him back? What's the voicemail say?

DARRELL: It's not even dramatic. That's the thing. He's just talking about some barbecue place he went to an Albuquerque saying I'd love it, asking if I'm still dating that girl from dispatch, which I wasn't even dating her. We went out twice.

LUKE: Real casual. I don't understand why you're calling me with this shit.

DARRELL: Because he left it two weeks before he disappeared, Luke. He's calling me about Brisket and asking about some girl, and two weeks later he's gone. No goodbye, no heads up. Just texts Mawn that he took a job in Albuquerque and he's already there.

LUKE: You just said you talked to him frequently.

DARRELL: I said we've talked not frequently. Maybe five times in three years. Birthdays, holidays, surface level stuff. He calls, I answer. We do 10 minutes. That's it.

LUKE: Yeah, that's how siblings talk. I mean, that's, uh, I think that's pretty normal. So what, what advice are you looking for? Should you call your brother and spark up a real conversation and see what's going on in his life and I, do you want to be in the dude's life? Like, what's the, what's the issue here.

DARRELL: The issue is I'm standing here listening to him, sound happy, actually happy, talking about some restaurant, and I'm realizing I have no idea why he left. And the thing that's eating me is, did he call to tell me? Was that what the barbecue thing was leading up to? And because I didn't answer, he just said, forget it and left anyway?

LUKE: Well, you already said he left to go to Albuquerque to take a job. So he got a job opportunity and went to Albuquerque to take it. Maybe he just wanted to change a pace, change a scene, a different life. People move. That's okay.

LUKE: They're allowed to What is the issue here?

EARL: The issue is he called me first, Luke. Before he told mom, before he moved, he called me. And I didn't pick up because I was probably writing some jackass a speeding ticket or sitting in a parking lot running radar. And now I'm supposed to what, call him back three years later about a voicemail about Briscuit?

LUKE: No, you call him back and say, hey, brother, I haven't talked to you in a while. I want to know what's going on in your life. And you took off, and I'd like to know why.

EARL: And say what when he asks why I'm calling now. Hey, Marcus, funny story. I just found this three-year-old. voicemail you left. Turns out my phone's been dead in my glove box. My bad?

LUKE: That makes me look like an even bigger asshole than just not calling back in the first place. No, you don't say anything. You say I'm calling you because I was thinking about you, which is the truth. Who cares about the voicemail? Forget about it. It happened three years ago. It was about a brisket place. Nobody cares. He doesn't care. He probably doesn't remember leaving the voicemail. There has nothing to do with the situation now. But if you want to talk to your brother, just call him and talk to him. It's not that big a deal.

EARL: But it is a big deal because I didn't call him back then. God. And that told him everything he needed to know, that I was too busy, that I didn't care enough, that he wasn't a priority, and he was right. I wasn't there. So he left, and he didn't tell me, because why would he? I already proved I wasn't going to pick up the phone.

LUKE: Look, man, if you're guilty that you didn't pick up the phone because you changed your number or you didn't want to talk, whatever, it's, you just call them and say, look, I'm sorry I didn't pick up the phone. You know, I'm different now. Things have changed, and I'm interested in being in your life. I'd like to know what happened. And if you want him to be in your life, if you want that relationship to matter going forward, then call the dude and talk to him. And don't worry about this voicemail from three years ago because he doesn't care.

EARL: I didn't change my number. The phone just died, and I got a new one and I never thought about it again until tonight. And that's worse, isn't it? That I just forgot about it completely. Sienna asked if I had any pictures from when I was younger and I remembered the old phone and charged it up. And there it was.

LUKE: That's enough. brother if you want to talk to him. That's the end of our show. Good night.