LUKE: Alright, welcome back to Luke at the Roost. This is the Colin radio show where you call in and tell me what's on your mind. My name is Luke, I'm your host. If you'd like to call in, our number is 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luke. Let's get the show started and our first caller today is going to be Slim. Slim, welcome to the show. What would you like to talk about today?

SLIM: Hey Luke, yeah thanks for taking my call. So look, I won 50 grand on a scratch ticket on Monday and I haven't told a single person yet. Not my wife, not the church, nobody, and it's eating me alive because I'm a youth pastor, right? Right?

LUKE: Wow, congratulations on your 50 grand win, what are you going to do with the money?

SLIM: Well, that's the whole thing, Luke. I don't know. I mean, part of me wants to just pay off the truck, maybe fix the AC at the church because it's been broken since September and the board keeps saying there's no money.

LUKE: Well, here's a question for you. If you're a pastor and you work at a church and you win the lottery, do you have to pay tax on that lottery winning?

SLIM: Oh, yeah, absolutely. The state already took their cut when I claimed it, walked out with about 37 after taxes.

LUKE: Oh, you've already got the money and you haven't spent any of it yet?

SLIM: Nope, it's just sitting in the bank like a damn time bomb. I keep thinking about how my dad used to say, money's like a deer. You spook it, it's gone. And I'm standing there with a rifle full of buckshot, trying not to move.

LUKE: Wow, that's one of the most confusing analogies I've ever heard in my life. But congratulations to you for your win. I can't imagine it's going to cost you 37 grand to fix the AC in your church.

SLIM: No, you're right. Probably three, four thousand tops, but see, that's where it gets tricky. The second people find out I have this money, it's going to be slim. Can you help with the new himmels or slim? My sister's kid needs braces. I've been doing this job for 12 years, Luke.

LUKE: And what is your lord and savior say to do with the money?

SLIM: Man, that's the question I've been wrestling with all week. I keep going back to the parable of the talents. You know, the guy who buried his money in the ground got reamed for it. But then there's also, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing when it comes to giving. I've been praying on it every night this week, honestly.

LUKE: Well, I think you're probably going to come to the right, uh, right decision and do the right thing with the money. Actually, you know what, I don't know if there is a right thing to do with the money. It wasn't there before. You wanted in the lottery. Good for you. Do you play the lottery a lot? How much are you, were you down to win this 50 grand?

SLIM: First ticket I ever bought actually. Yeah, sure. I was at the circle K getting gas and just, I don't know, impulse five bucks. My wife doesn't even know. She thinks gambling's a sin. And honestly, I kind of agreed with her until I scratched that thing off in the parking lot and nearly dropped my coffee.

LUKE: Well, you know, what the man with no sin throws stones first or whatever. Uh, good for you. Good for your congregation. I hope that the money goes to good use. And, um, and yeah, I don't think you have to feel bad about winning. Just do something good with the money and it's all good.

SLIM: Yeah, you're right. I appreciate that, Luke. I think I've been making this harder than it needs to be.

LUKE: For sure. And speaking of money, I got a question for you. How about you tell us about something that you bought once that you regret? Uh, something you spent money on and wished later that you hadn't.

SLIM: Oh, man. That's easy. About eight years ago, I bought this used jet ski off some guy in Lord'sburg. Thought I'd take it out to Elephant Butte. You know, make a whole thing of it with the youth group.

LUKE: You bought a, uh, Lord'sburg jet ski. How did that work out?

SLIM: No, no, Lord'sburg. It's a town about an hour west of here. Oh, yeah. But yeah, the jet ski paid $2,200 bucks for it. Drove it up to the lake exactly one time. Thing broke down in the middle of the water. Had to get towed back to shore by some guy on a pontoon boat.

LUKE: Hey, well, now I guess the good news is you get 37 grand.

SLIM: You know, the thing's been sitting under a tarp behind my garage for seven years. I think my wife would actually divorce me if I put another dime into it. She brings it up every time I want to buy anything. Remember the jet ski slim? It's like my personal scarlet letter back there.

LUKE: All right. Thanks for the call slim and, uh, congratulations on your big lottery win. Uh, just don't take it back to the casino and you should be all right. Next up on the line, we have, uh, Sandy. Sandy, welcome to the show. What's what's on your mind today, Sandy?

SANDY: Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I got into it with my neighbor tonight, like physically got into it. And I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I need to call the cops or if that's just going to make everything worse. We've been going back and forth for months now, but this time she actually shoved me in my own driveway.

LUKE: shoved you how just to like a little pusher where you actually injured in some way, where you did you fear for your life in this altercation?

SANDY: No, I mean, I didn't fall or anything, but it wasn't like a little tap either. She put both hands on my shoulders and pushed me back hard enough that I stumbled. The thing is I'm honestly more pissed off than scared, you know? But that's what's got me worried because I shoved her right back and now I'm thinking if I call the police, she's going to say I started it. This whole thing kicked off because her dog keeps shitting in my yard and she refuses to pick it up.

LUKE: Okay, so the dog shits in your yard, she's not picking it up and, uh, and how does that turn into an altercation? You obviously confronted her about the dog shitting situation.

SANDY: Yeah, so tonight I'm coming home from a birth. I was up for like 16 hours and I step right in a fresh pile getting out of my car. I lost it, walked straight over to her place and knocked on the door with the bottom of my shoe still covered in it.

LUKE: I should have kicked her in the face.

SANDY: Ha, I mean, I was tempted, but no, I just told her this is the third time this week and she needs to keep her damn dog on her own property.

LUKE: Well, yeah, that's annoying, it's never fun to step in and pile a dog poo. But, uh, dogs do roam around and it is, uh, the outdoors and I understand that people own their yards and stuff and it's, that's not fun, but the same time it's kind of hard to control wild animals from doing wild animal things.

SANDY: See, that's the thing though. This isn't a wild animal. It's her dog. She lets it out in the morning without a leash and it comes straight to my yard every single time.

LUKE: Would it make any difference if it was a wild dog?

SANDY: I mean, yeah, because then I couldn't go knock on someone's door about it, but this is her dog. She's responsible for it and honestly, if she just apologized once or picked it up, we wouldn't even be here. Instead, she tells me I'm being dramatic and that dogs go where they go. That's when my driveway and she followed me.

LUKE: Okay, well, um, that's, that's no fun. It's never good to have a shitty situation with your neighbor. What are you going to do about it?

SANDY: That's why I'm calling you, Luke. I don't know.

LUKE: Well, uh, you could put up a fence, you could move, you could, uh, complain a lot at the town meeting. I don't, you can't really physically assault the woman. You can't call the police on her. I guess you could call animal control if you actually catch the dog in your yard. Are you positive that it's her dog? Have you actually caught the dog in the act?

SANDY: Yeah, I've seen it. Walked outside two mornings ago and watched it squat right by my mailbox while she's standing on her porch drinking coffee. And I did call animal control last month.

LUKE: All right. Thanks for the call, Sandy. Good luck with your, uh, your dookie shoes. And next on the radio show, we've got Keith. Keith, welcome to the show. You're calling back. What's up today, sir?

KEITH: Hey, Luke. Yeah, I'm back. So I got an update on that video situation and I'm not going to lie. It got weird real weird. I ended up taking your advice kind of and I talked to her last week. Turns out she's been coming to the cemetery because her apartment is too quiet. And she likes hearing the highway noise from where I work.

LUKE: See, I told you it wasn't real weird. That's not weird. What's weird about that?

KEITH: Well, okay, that pot's not weird. You're right. But here's the thing. After we talked that first time, she started showing up on my shift specifically. Like she knows my schedule now and two nights ago, she brought me coffee. Just walked right up to the shed with two cups from that circle. K on Hudson and sat down like we were having a planned meeting.

LUKE: Okay, that still doesn't sound very weird to me, sir. Let's get to the weird part.

KEITH: All right. So last night, she asked if I wanted to come over to her place after my shift ends. Just straight up asked me. And I'm sitting there thinking, this woman is maybe 60, 65. And I'm married to Teresa. And I don't even know this lady's actual name. I've just been calling her this whole time.

LUKE: Okay, so you got to let her down a little bit easy. Sorry, I'm married. It's not that weird that a lonely widow is looking for some companionship at the cemetery. I mean, maybe that's a little weird, but it's not that weird.

KEITH: Yeah, I mean, you're right. It's not that weird when you say it like that. But here's where I messed up. I didn't say I was married. I panicked and told her I had to go check on something by the North fence. And I just walked away like a coward again.

LUKE: Okay, well, why is that? Is it because you actually want something to go on with this widow? Is that what's the eating you up?

KEITH: No, man, that's not look. I don't want anything with her. But things with Teresa have been so damn cold lately. We barely talk anymore except about bills or whose turn it is to take the trash out. And here's this woman who's actually interested in talking to me, bringing me coffee, asking about my day.

LUKE: Yeah, I understand that. It's nice to feel wanted and seen and heard and all that. And it's okay for you to have other friends. I mean, you can befriend this woman without doing anything shady at her house behind your wife's back. There's nothing wrong with that.

KEITH: You're right. I know you're right. But I'm not going to lie. Part of me keeps thinking about what it would be like to just say yes. Not even for anything physical. Just to sit in someone's living room and have a conversation where the other person actually wants to hear what I have to say. Teresa used to be like that.

LUKE: Yeah, well, it sounds like you've got a couple things going on and I don't think it's that weird to go over somebody's house and have a cup of coffee and talk if you're seriously not into anything romantic or pursuing that relationship behind your wife's back. You might want to talk to Teresa about that before you start going over a strange woman's house though.

KEITH: Yeah, that's the problem though. How do I even start that conversation? Hey, Teresa, there's this widow at the cemetery who wants to hang out. Is that cool? Yeah. She's already pissed at me half the time about stuff I don't even understand. Last week, she got mad because I didn't notice she rearranged the living room. I walked right past the couch in a different spot three times before she pointed it out.

LUKE: Yeah, well, I mean, that sounds like marriage. So, I mean, you're in it. But I think that's exactly the way that you deal with it. Hey, I met a new friend. I'd like to hang out after work one day, have a cup of coffee and talk about stuff. It's not a romantic thing. I'm not interested. She's 65 years old and I'm married to you. Teresa, the love of my life who I would never have eyes for anyone else. And just make sure she knows that and she's got a problem with it then deal with that problem.

KEITH: I hear you, but man, I don't know if I can say love of my life right now and have it sound real. She'd see right through that.

LUKE: All right, well, if that's the truth then you and your wife need to sit down and have some hard conversations and figure out if you want to continue on living the way you're living because that's that's no good and you might be better off with this widow or, you know, somebody else.

KEITH: Yeah, I've been sitting there thinking about that too. Maybe that's why this whole thing is eating at me so much.

LUKE: Yeah, it could be. I mean, relationships are tough and if things have been downhill for a while and you don't see them moving in a positive direction, it's time to have some hard conversations.

KEITH: The thing is, we used to be good, really good. I don't know when it changed exactly. Somewhere between the second mortgage and her mom getting sick and me taking this graveyard shift, no pun intended. We just sort of stop being on the same team.

LUKE: I think that happens. I think there are ways that you can get back on the same team if you both want to, but you might also find that neither one of you even, you know, likes each other anymore and it's time to split up and that's okay too. I'm not going to lie.

LUKE: Let's see. What's something you believed in 10 years ago that you don't believe anymore?

EARL: Oh man, that's a hell of a shift. 10 years ago I thought the tea party was going to actually change things in Washington.

LUKE: Well, things did change in Washington.

EARL: Yeah, but not the way we thought. I mean, I was all in on that stuff. Smaller government, fiscal responsibility, the whole deal. Now I look at it, and I'm sitting there thinking none of these people actually meant any of it. They just wanted their turn at the trough.

LUKE: Yeah, man, you're living you learn. That seems to be the way. No matter who is in the office. They do not give a fuck about you. All right, thanks for the call. Talk to your wife. Don't be a pussy. Next up on the line, we have Laurie. Laurie, welcome to the show. How can we help you today?

LAURIE: Hey, Luke, thanks for taking my call. So I've been working from home doing data entry for like three years now. And honestly, it can get pretty isolating. But I'm also really into open source technology. And I spend a lot of my free time in these online communities, you know, contributing to projects, helping troubleshoot stuff.

LUKE: I do know. I do a lot of that myself. So what are you working on?

LAURIE: Oh, nice. Right now I'm actually contributing to this documentation project for a Linux distribution. Nothing glamorous, but it's stuff people actually use. And I've been learning rust on the side messing around with some smaller tools. But here's why I called. I was watching the Lost Finale the other day, right?

LUKE: Oh, yeah, I just watched the Lost Finale a couple weeks ago or maybe a couple months ago now. But yeah, what about it?

LAURIE: Okay, so it really got me thinking about community and how people come together around something bigger than themselves. And with Valentine's Day coming up, I'm sitting here alone most days, just me and my computer screen. And I realized, these open source communities, they're the closest thing I have to that feeling of belonging, you know? Like actually being part of something that matters.

LUKE: Yes, I do know I totally understand that. And when I was a kid, I used to hang out in IRC in the on the free node network. And we had a channel called Linux people. And we did tutorials and wrote articles and helped people that were trying to learn Linux. They would pop into IRC and ask their questions. And we all tried our best to help them out. And I still talk to some of those people today. That's been over 20 years. People that I've never met that I met in those communities. So I don't think that's a bad thing at all.

LAURIE: Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. And honestly, Luke, I think people don't get how real those connections are. Like my family thinks I'm just sitting here alone all the time, but I'm collaborating with people in Germany and Brazil and wherever working on actual things that help people. But I guess what's been eating at me is is that enough?

LUKE: Do you feel like it's enough? I mean, I usually do, sometimes I don't, but most of the time I do feel like it's more than enough. That's a very personal question. How do you feel about it? It's obviously bothering you.

LAURIE: I mean, most of the time, yeah, it feels good. But then like Thursday night rolls around and Valentine's Day is coming up. And I'm 29. And I look around my house and it's just quiet.

LUKE: Quiet's very nice though. And 29's not all that old. You get plenty of time to do whatever you like. So I applaud you for spending your time doing productive stuff with the type of people that make you better at what you do. I think that's a good way to deal with your loneliness and to find some community and camaraderie out in the world.

LAURIE: Thanks, I appreciate that. I guess part of me worries though. Like, am I using these communities as a substitute for something else? Or is this just what connection looks like now?

LUKE: Yeah, there's probably some of both of that. Now connection can be, it can look like a lot of different things. You don't have to be in bed with somebody to have a connection with them. You could, you know, have a very good working relationship and friendship with somebody over the internet in Brazil. That's not all that strange or weird, especially today. I mean, 20 years ago when I was doing it and I was 12 years old, that was a little bit odd. But I don't think it's very strange now.

LAURIE: You're right. And honestly, I heard Sandy call earlier tonight and I felt like she was holding something back about that whole neighbor situation.

LUKE: Yeah, you know what, I think she was too. I certainly got that impression, but she wasn't going to spill it. So we're just going to have to go with her go with what she wanted to divulge. Anyway, Laurie, thanks for the call. Keep it up with your documentation project. And if you want to find somebody to hang out with on Valentine's Day, I'm sure you can do that. You sound like a very nice lady. You enjoy the remainder of your night, all right? Hey, Gus, Gus, welcome to the show. What's happening?

GUS: Yeah. Hey, Luke, so my ex showed up at the pawn shop today with flowers like a whole bouquet and my girlfriend was there picking me up for lunch. She saw the whole thing through the window before she even came in. Now she won't talk to me and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to say to fix this.

LUKE: Your ex brought you flowers on Valentine's Day at your work?

GUS: Well, not quite Valentine's Day yet. It's Thursday, so we got a few days. But yeah, just showed up out of nowhere. I haven't talked to Melissa in like eight months. And she walks in with these roses talking about how she's been thinking about things. My girlfriend Sarah sees her through the window. And by the time she comes inside, Melissa's already gone, but the flowers are sitting right there on the counter. Sarah just looked at me, turned around and left.

LUKE: Well, which one of them would you rather be with? Melissa or Sarah?

GUS: Sarah? I mean, it's Sarah, no question. Melissa and I were done for good reasons. She couldn't handle that I work weird hours. Always wanted me to be someone I'm not.

LUKE: Yeah, well, then problem solved. Just tell Sarah, hey, I didn't ask her to bring me these flowers. There's nothing going on here. I'm not interested in her anymore. And it's a free country. You know when somebody wants to bring your flowers, then all right, you wasted your 24 bucks.

GUS: Yeah, I tried that. I called her like three times. Center text saying exactly that. I didn't ask for this. I don't want Melissa back. The whole thing.

LUKE: Here's what you do. I got it figured out. So you take the flowers that Melissa gave you and you bring them home. And on Valentine's Day, you give those same flowers to Sarah and say these are for you.

GUS: Oh, man, that's, I mean, Sarah's not stupid. She saw those exact flowers. They were these yellow roses with some kind of purple things mixed in. Real specific looking.

LUKE: Yeah, well, I think she'll appreciate your frugality. There's no use to wasting the money on new flowers. If you already got something, you're not going to use. You might as well get some use out of them. That's what I say.

GUS: I don't know, Luke.

LUKE: I feel like showing up with the same flowers my ex brought me is going to make things about 10 times worse. Sarah's already pissed enough. Last thing I need is her thinking I'm too cheap or too clueless to get her her own flowers.

GUS: Well, I mean, that's what I would do. I would, I would take the flowers that were given to me that I don't want and give them back to her and be like, here, here you go. I was thinking of you.

LUKE: You know what? Maybe that works for you, but I think Sarah would throw them at my head. She's not the type to find that charming. She'd see it as me being either lazy or rubbing salt in the wound. I'm already in the doghouse here. I need to figure out how to actually fix this, not make it worse with recycled roses.

GUS: Well, you didn't do anything wrong. So you really don't have anything to fix. If, uh, if there's jealousy going on there, then that's, that's really on her. You can just say, hey, I let her know. I did not prompt this in any way. There's nothing going on behind your back. I can't control what she does. She came and dropped off flowers and you saw it and that's unfortunate, but there's nothing going on there and you're the one that I want to be with and commit to her in that way. And if she's got a problem with it, then, uh, then you got to, then you got to deal with that and then you might be better off going back to Melissa.

LUKE: I hear you, but it's not just jealousy. Sarah watched my axe walk into my workplace flowers and a whole speech about how she misses me and wants to try again. That's not nothing.

GUS: It is nothing. It's nothing that you did. I mean, you can control that.

LUKE: So yeah, but I didn't shut it down fast enough either. I just kind of stood there like an idiot while Melissa went on and Sarah saw that. I should have cut her off right away, told her to leave.

GUS: Well, it sounds like you're a pussy either way. You can either stand up to your current girlfriend or you can stand up to your former girlfriend, but one way or the other, you're going to have to stand up.

LUKE: You're right. I've been trying to keep everybody happy, and I'm just making it worse. I froze up with Melissa because I didn't want to be a jerk, and now Sarah thinks I was actually considering it or something.

GUS: Just sit her down and have that conversation, and if that's a problem, then it probably shows how long you've been with this chick, Sarah. How long?

LUKE: About eight months, we moved in together maybe two months ago, which I know was probably too fast, but rents expensive, and we were spending every night together anyway.

GUS: Okay, well, you don't know this woman at all. So if something this small is going to cause strife in your life, maybe it's time to find another roommate.

LUKE: That's the thing though. It's not really that small when you think about it. My ex showing up with flowers isn't like some random thing, and Sarah and I were solid before this. She's been good to me, better than Melissa ever was.

GUS: All right, well then talk to her and get it worked out, and if she's a reasonable person, she'll come around. If she's not a reasonable person, then you're an idiot for dealing with that, but that's your choice, and that's my advice, and I'm sticking to it.

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DARLENE: Oh man, Luke, that's okay. So about three years ago, I'm cleaning out the bear's truck, right? And I find this whole rotisserie chicken, like the entire thing from the grocery store, still in the container, wedged under the passenger seat. It had been there for God knows how long, completely mummified.

LUKE: What's the bear's truck?

DARLENE: Oh, sorry, the bear, that's David, my husband. We've called him that since high school. He's got this big beard and he's just, you know, bear shaped. His truck, the one he drives to the plant every day.

LUKE: All right, yeah, that's a little bit weird. You found a whole rotisserie chicken under the seat of your husband's truck. That was there for months and months.

DARLENE: Yeah, and the thing is, he swore up and down, he had no idea how it got there, like who buys a whole rotisserie chicken and just forgets about it. But that's David. He'll stop at the store on the way home, get distracted and half the groceries end up living in that truck for weeks. But listen, that's not why I called.

LUKE: Well, before you get to that, did you eat it?

DARLENE: What? No.

LUKE: Okay. All right. Why did you call darling? How can we help you?

DARLENE: So I've been sitting on this resignation letter for two months now. Two months, Luke, I work at the DMV and I just, I can't do it anymore.

LUKE: All right. So what's holding you up? Why are you sitting on it?

DARLENE: I don't know what comes next. I mean, I'm 46 years old. We've got the mortgage. David's hours at the plant aren't what they used to be. And it's not like I have some big plan, you know? I just know I can't keep going in there every day, feeling like this.

LUKE: I fully support that. Do you have any ideas as to where you're going to go or what you're going to do after you submit that letter?

DARLENE: That's the problem. I don't. I mean, I've thought about it. Believe me. Maybe something with people that actually feels like it matters, you know? Not just processing renewals all day.

LUKE: Well, are you looking to do work that matters or are you looking to get paid?

DARLENE: Oh man, that's the question, isn't it? I mean, we need the money, obviously. But Luke, I've been doing this for almost 15 years and I just feel like I'm disappearing a little more every day.

LUKE: Yeah, I understand that. And I think that's why I'm asking which you're looking to do. You can do both, but I think if you need the money, then you should focus on finding a job that's going to make you some money without distress and then take care of the importance or the fulfilling part after work in your personal life.

DARLENE: Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I've been thinking it has to be one big thing, you know? Like the job has to be the answer to everything. But you're right. I could find something that pays the bills without making me miserable and then do something that actually means something on my own time.

LUKE: Yeah, there are definitely jobs that can be both good money and fulfilling, but they're few and far between. And especially if you're leaving a job without another one lined up, I think my focus would be more on the salary with low stress and then find the community service aspect elsewhere because I don't think there's a lot of good paying community service oriented jobs that aren't stressful. I think when you add those three requirements up there's a there's a dearth of opportunity.

DARLENE: You're right. I've been building this up in my head like it has to be perfect or else I'm just trading one trap for another. Maybe I just need to get out of the DMV first and breathe a little. Find something stable that doesn't make me want to scream and then figure out the rest.

LUKE: There you go. Take yourself a little sabbatical, a couple of weeks off, figure out what it is you want to do. Find something, you know, maybe it'll fall into your lap.

LUCILLE: But if you continue just hanging on at the DMV where you hate your life every day, it's not going to get better and the days are going to go by and you're going to find yourself there at 60 wondering why you didn't leave when you thought of it the first time. God that's what scares me the most. David keeps saying just give it another year but that's what I said last year and the year before that. I don't want to wake up at 60 still sitting behind that same desk with that resignation letter still in my drawer, you know.

LUKE: Well, hand the letter in and jump off. I don't want to say jump off a cliff but, you know, take the leap, the leap of faith I guess and spend some time to figure it out and see what happens. What's the worst that could happen?

LUCILLE: I mean, the worst is we can't pay the mortgage, right? But we've got some savings and David's got his job at the plant. We're not going to starve. And that's the worst. The worst is you can't pay the mortgage and lots of people have got into a situation where they can't pay the mortgage. There's financial assistance. You could live in a cheaper place. You can move. So if the worst is that you can't pay the bank, then you know, is that worth being miserable for the rest of your life for? No, no, it's not. You're right. I've been so scared of what could go wrong that I haven't even thought about what could go right. Maybe I finally sleep through the night again without grinding my teeth.

LUKE: Well, I wish you the best of luck because being miserable all the time is not good for your health and you may not make it to 60 if you, if you stay stressed out about a job that you hate for a long time. Leon, Leon, welcome back to the show. How are you today?

LEON: Oh, man, I'm doing all right, Luke. Thanks for having me back. So listen, I actually did it. I reached out to UNM yesterday about that computer science program.

LUKE: Hey, congratulations. Good work. Did you reach out to the bank about the loan for that computer science program?

LEON: Yeah, well, hold on. I haven't gotten that far yet. I just sent an email to the admissions office to see if they even still have programs for, you know, older students coming back. But here's the thing that's got me twisted up. Amber thinks I should just do one of those online boot camp things instead. Says it's faster and cheaper. And Manny's telling me I'm overthinking it and should just apply to the full degree program like I was going to do back in 96. I don't know who's right.

LUKE: Well, I don't know who's right either, but I can tell you I'm not a fan of traditional schooling and I think it's designed to take your money and not provide you the value that that maybe you think. So my recommendation would be to not do that and take advantage of the learning opportunities that are free and all around you, like the whole of human knowledge that's available at your fingertips and just buckle down and learn on your own. But I recognize some people don't operate that way and if you need the structure of the college course, then then and you can afford it. Make sure you can afford it. Then do that.

LEON: Yeah, see, that's kind of what's eating at me though. Like I said, I'm not great at the self-teaching thing. I've tried watching YouTube videos about Python and all that, but I just end up clicking around and not retaining anything. I need somebody to tell me what to do next, you know. But the money part, that's real. Amber and I sat down with the numbers last night and between what I've got saved and maybe cutting back on some stuff, I could swing a boot camp without taking out loans.

LUKE: Well, that's fantastic. Then that's no brainer, you know, and don't bet the farm on it, but if you're just going to take a boot camp, that's not a four year degree, then absolutely go for it and congratulations on taking that step.

LEON: Yeah, I appreciate that Luke. I'm still nervous as hell about it, but my daughter, she's the one who found that old letter. She keeps texting me asking if I've done anything yet. It's like she's holding me accountable, which is weird because I'm supposed to be the parent, you know.

LUKE: Hey, you know, whatever works if she's holding you accountable and it's working for you and moving your life in a positive direction, then I'm for it. Good for you.

LEON: Yeah, it is what it is. I guess I'm just calling because I wanted to tell somebody outside my circle, you know, like making it real. Man, he's been busting my balls about it for 20 years, so telling him doesn't count.

LUKE: All right, well, I appreciate that you reached out to let me know. Uh, hey there. I got a question for you. What's something that you bought that actually changed your life?

LEON: Oh, man, that's a good question. Let me think. Honestly, it was my Subaru.

LUKE: It was your Subaru. How did that change your life?

LEON: Well, I bought it used about five years ago right after my old truck finally died and it sounds stupid, but having something reliable, like something that actually starts every morning and doesn't leave me stranded. It changed how I felt about my job. I could take longer halls. I wasn't stressed about breaking down with somebody's car on the hook.

LUKE: All right, that's a good one. Congratulations on your Subaru. Change your life. That's fantastic. And now it's time for another word from our sponsors. Stress, sore, skeptical, doesn't matter. Try placebo leaf, the CBD brand that may or may not do anything, but costs enough that you'll convince yourself it works. Our tinctures, gummies and topicals contain premium hemp extract, and your desperate need to feel better without addressing root causes. Is it the cannabinoids or is it the ritual of self-care? Who's to say placebo leaf is THC-free, vegan, organic, and backed by studies we vaguely reference but don't like to. Take our gummies before bed and sleep great, probably because you're tired anyway, but you'll credit us. Available in flavors like calm and focus. Concepts we've bottled and marked up for a hundred percent. Visit placeboleaf.com and use code chill for 25 percent off. placebo leaf, wellness is a feeling and feelings can be purchased. All right placebo leaf and we're going to take one more call tonight and our lucky last caller is Lucille. Lucky Lucille. Welcome to the radio show. What would you like to talk about today?

LUCILLE: Hey Luke, it's Lucille.

LUKE: That's what I said. Close enough.

LUCILLE: So my kid just told me they're getting engaged to someone they met on the internet three weeks ago. Three weeks, Luke.

LUKE: Your kid? You sound like you're about three weeks old.

LUCILLE: I'm 30, Luke. My kid's 19. Yeah, I got married young myself right out of high school to David. So I'd get it, but this is different. They met this person online and have never even been in the same room together.

LUKE: And they're getting married? How's that going to work?

LUCILLE: Well, that's the thing. They're planning to meet in person for the first time next month, and apparently that's when they want to get engaged for real. Like the online part was just the warm-up. I don't even know if I should say something or just let them figure it out, you know?

LUKE: I think the more you say, the more likely they are to do stupid things so you might want to just let them figure it out.

LUCILLE: Yeah, that's kind of what David said too. But, Luke, I'm sitting here thinking about all the ways this could go wrong. Like what if this person isn't who they say they are? What if my kid flies out there and gets hurt or worse? I know if I push too hard, they'll just dig in. But doing nothing feels like I'm failing them.

LUKE: Well, you could just have a conversation. That's usually my advice for everybody is sit down with the person that you need to talk to and talk to them. Let them know that you're concerned, but you support their decisions. And if it goes wrong, be there to pick them up when they fall.

LUCILLE: You're right. I know you're right. It's just hard because I married David when I was 20 and everyone told us we were too young. And here we are 10 years later still figuring our shit out in therapy.

LUCILLE: So part of me wants to say, I get it. Follow your heart. But the other part is screaming that at least David and I knew each other in person, you know? We had history. This feels reckless even by my standards.

LUKE: Well, you know, just because his reckless doesn't mean it's wrong and you don't necessarily know best and they could fly out there and meet and have it work out perfectly.

LUCILLE: That's probably not going to happen. And I think anybody with any life experience would know that. But but stranger things have happened like stranger things this show.

LUKE: Ha, yeah, I guess so.

LUCILLE: I mean, I don't want to be the mom who ruins this for them if it actually is something real. Maybe I'm just freaked out because Valentine's Day is coming up and they keep posting about how romantic it's all going to be. I think I just need to hear someone say it's okay to be worried, but still let them make their own mistakes. That's what you're supposed to do, right?

LUKE: That is what you're supposed to do. It's okay to be worried but you still got to let people make their own mistakes.

LUCILLE: Yeah, God, that's hard though. I keep thinking about what I would have wanted my parents to say to me back then. And honestly, I probably would have ignored them anyway.

LUKE: Of course you would have. We all did. That's part of growing up is ignoring your parents good advice.

LUCILLE: You know what's funny is I heard Sandy call earlier the one with the neighbor and the dog shit situation and I kept thinking she needs to just have a direct conversation instead of letting it build up. But here I am doing the same damn thing with my own kid just avoiding the uncomfortable talk.

LUKE: Yep, you're going to have to have that talk with your kid and if you don't, that doesn't really matter either. She's going to go do what she's going to do and deal with the consequences. So you can you can be there for or you can be domineering and overpowering and pusher in the arms of a stranger. They can lope and vegas because they're mad at you. So better off to just have a hard to hard conversation. Let her know your concerns and let her know that you support her. So Lucille, what's the dumbest way you've ever injured yourself?

LUCILLE: Oh Jesus, okay random turn but I'll bite. I was showing a house last year and tried to demonstrate how sturdy the deck railing was by leaning on it real hard and the whole thing just gave way. Though right into the bushes in front of the clients, sprained my wrist and had to finish the showing covered in mulch. They didn't buy the house.

LUKE: That's too bad. All right well thanks for calling in. We appreciate we appreciate it. I hope everything works out with your daughter and her new husband and you don't worry about it too much. You know you've got your own relationship to worry about. That's the end of our show folks. Thanks to everybody that called in and we'll do this again tomorrow. So think about what you want to talk about and call in. You can call in the numbers 208-439-5853. That's 208-439-Luc.